Professional Documents
Culture Documents
T Shirts
T Shirts
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-Son of Baglady
-Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to
get you.
-I figure I'm pretty good with the bullshit but I love listening
to an expert. Keep talking.
-The meek shall inherit the Earth after we're done with it.
-Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
-How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
-We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken
out and shot.
-I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
-Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible.
-How can I tell you I love you when you're sitting on my face?
-In the country of the blind the one eye'd man is king.
-He who laughs last has not been told the terrible truth.
-It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by
turkeys.
-When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West
-I'm really enjoying not talking to you, so let's not talk again
real soon, okay?
-Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for
last.
-Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me.
Mae West
-I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
-The difference between meat and fish is that if you beat your
fish it dies
-It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and
not have it.
-You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a
kind word.
-Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less
shit you have to eat.
-Those of you who think they know everything are very annoying to
those of us who do.
-When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one
I've never tried before.
-It's not that you and I are so clever, but that the others are
such fools.
-If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with
bullshit.
-I know you think you uderstood what I said, but what you heard
was not what I meant.
-Biodegradeable
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Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
If you MUST reply to a rejection, include a description of your joke
because there is 0 chance I will remember which one it was.