Arranged marriage is better than

romantic/ love marriage

(Position Paper)

ABM- ECF Sebuano

Kerby J. Manalaysay
Wowie P. Rubio
Kim Gerald A. Salaveria
Koleen Rae E. Rosales
Glizette B. Samaniego

Submitted to:
Ma’am Susana Fajardo

Marcelo H. del Pilar National High School

2016
 Marriage. It can be defined as the union between two person with opposite sex associated
with the laws, religion and norms around the society. Traditions and culture might has an impact
that could affect the style of marriage and as well as the preparations and all the things related to
it from the beginning until to its ending. And several factors could distinguish the kinds of
marriage such as the parents and the romance. It may be the one that is favored of the parents or
families so called arranged marriage and the one that is up to the favor of the lovers themselves
so called romantic or love marriage. It is easy to identify the both of them but the crucial task is
that how one should look to them deeply with their advantages and disadvantages and how will
they benefit the partners in the future.

Marriage itself might be very stressful and exhausting portion in one's life as well as the
preparation before the wedding day. There should be a great amount of focus, effort, time,
experties and maturity about this event in the fact that it would be a lifetime remembrance for
one's partnership. Everything must be well-planned, properly organized and calculated. And the
planning and the preparations within this would be quite hard for the part of the partners if they
did not have anyone to help them. But it would be easier if they would be in an arranged
marriage. Considering that all of the preparations and other stuffs needed would be provided by
their parents. It would give them less stress because they would only prepare themselves until the
wedding day comes. They could save money for the expenses in the near future. Bringing a
healthier view for them and their children- if they would have- and the readiness to the
unexpected struggles and upcoming difficulties that life would give them.

If one would ask if this would be a dangerous one due to its lack of love, the thing is that
commitment is already there that would raise the chance of love to grow. Even if attraction or
affection did not start the love, the development of love has been productive that would associate
love with trust and respect. If there would be something erroneous overlapping to the boundaries
of the laws during their partnership, the burden would not be set to the kind of marriage itself.
The one that should take the blame is the partners or the threats that make the relationship weak
and eventually break. Many couples worldwide serve as the succesful product of this. And it is
seen to them that they have not discerned to the dark sides of the marriage which they have gone
before.
 Being in the modern ages, relationships between family that is built by arranged marriage
could be affected by many technologically made disturbances. But unlike the stories people
created or some of the television series people patronized, there are partners with this marriage
did not let the disturbances or threats to just break their worth for each other.

These are some of the arranged marriage that has been successful:

1.Shahid Kapoor and Mira Rajput Shahid also known as the “lover boy” because of his
numerous roles who made people fall in love. The two of them got attached to the traditional
arranged marriage way. They met through religious group (Radha Soami Satsang Beas). The
father of Shahid named Pankaj Kapur was the instrumental in making this match happen.

2.Karan Patel and Ankita Bhargava Ankita has quite openly admitted about his match
being an ‘arranged one’. The two were introduced by Karan’s friend (Aly Goni). Talking about
this marriage the father of Ankita named Abhay suddenly revealed that he had thrown a party
and invited Karan and the two of them saw each other and they expressed their view on getting
married to each other to their parents.

3.Vivek Oberoi and Priyanka Alva After falling in and out of love, Vivek Oberoi found
his “happily ever after” with the help of his dad, Suresh Oberoi. The two of them had an
arranged marriage and Priynka’s mother said that they were very happy to the arranged marriage
that happened. Both of them are absolutely game for an arranged marriage. Actually, Vivek
confessed that he don’t mind an arranged marriage because the girl that his parents choose could
be the girl of his dreams and he found that perfect girl.

4. Madhuri Dixit and Dr. Shriram Nene Madhuri Dixit also had an arranged marriage to
Dr. Shriram Nene. Madhuri Dixit found Dr. Nene through his brother Ajit Dixit. His brother
introduces him to Dr. Nene after suffering a break up to Sanjay Dutt. Dr. Nene and Madhiri Dixit
had a same fate which is they both suffered in a break up that's why they are compatible to each
other. That's what you call 'destiny'. After the arranged marriage, they became more successful
on their lives. They both had a happy life because maybe they are really meant to each other.
Having a break up is not really bad because it leads you to your real destiny. Just like what
happen to Madhuri Dixit and Dr. Shriram Nene.
 5.Raj Kapoor and Krishna Raj Kapoor Raj Kapoor too had an arranged marriage and that
too at a very early age but still he never left his wife. He states that “ Mine was the only marriage
among us brothers.” Suddenly one fine day his father said “ You are getting married” and he said
“Yes father” That was in 1946 when he was just 22 years old.

As the world viewed this kind, many perceptions about its inner and outer realms could
be discussed. There is a continuous debate and discussion regarding what is better among the two
types of marriage which is arrange marriage and love marriage. Here are some arguments and
opinions that people around the world viewed love and arranged marriage.

An arranged marriage is one in which there are not all the grand expectations that there
are when love is involved. Love can often let you down, whereas an arranged marriage is based
on expectations that are reasonable. An arranged marriage reflects the actual idea that marriage is
a contract and both parties know what to expect from the other. It's not often that arranged
marriages result in the kind of madly in love type of relationships, but they usually do have a
settled and loving bond with each other that works.

- haightstreet

Arranged marriages are usually more stable because they generally take place in orthodox
societies which are usually patriarchal in nature where females sometimes don't even have a
choice. What this usually means is that the males tend to do whatever they want while the
females suffers silently. In some cases, this silence is forced by domestic violence. Love
marriages, on the other hand, occur when both partners have an equal standing in the relationship
and are in it by their choice. Thus, when either partner feels that something is not the way it
should be, they tend to be vocal about it and that sometimes ends up creating discord amongst
them, thus making love marriages more volatile and leading to a lot more divorces than arranged
marriages. In the end, while arranged marriages appear to be better statistically, that doesn't
necessarily mean that people involved are happier. I personally believe that an institution like
marriage which is supposed to last for a lifetime should always be entered into if both partners
eagerly want to do so. That said, I've seen arranged marriages where both partners are as happy
as a successful love marriage would be, if not more.

- Krishnakant Sijariya,
In Science We Trust
Mar 19, 2014

I would go with arrange marriage , considering the fact that couple share not more but
some compatibility with each other. Love marriage mostly ends up in despair because couple
knows about each other life so much that forgotten incidents of ones past life creeps into
marriage life and ruin everything else. And we know that even though we say that our society
has gone Modern, Our thinking is still contemporary. Any men/women will not easily forget and
forgive his/her partner , When he knows that their partner was in relationship with someone else.

-Rishiraj
(11/13/14)

According to my view Love marriage is far better than arranged. Love come arrange is
also ok. But you can never ever decide about your partner in 2 or 3 months. How do you expect
to understand a human within few months it’s impossible. Even it takes time to be a close friend.
For male: If you need dowry arrange marriage is best. If you need a good life and wife love
marriage is best.
For female: . If you need to control you husband like a remote car arrange marriage is best. If
you want husband to be friendly and understandable love marriage is best

Marriage is not a game. Parents nowhere related to this as we are the one who are going
to face our partner throughout the life. Marriage is about understanding and affection. Please try
to change this arrange marriage culture as it will never ever workout. In arrange marriage most
of the couple live for others and arrange marriage is a cage guarded by our parents. In love
marriage couple people live of each other and it’s a garden of love and affection without any
limits. In some case it maybe vise versa, but most of the successful couples are of love marriage
in this generation (including me). Arrange marriage is an old tradition which may have worked
in 20th century, but not anymore.
-Bala Lux, .
Sep 25, 2014

After interviewing so many couples who stayed together and so many couples who got
divorced, researchers have found that the ones with same core beliefs stay together... longer.. and
happy. Centuries back... you are born and brought up in your family. Your social network will be
limited to your family and other relatives. There was no Internet, no books and other things that
give you exposure to new ideas. Your core belief was shaped by your family. And your family
will mostly look for a partner among your circles. So Arrange marriages worked out. Its the same
circle.. same family values.. same traditions. So the significant other will mostly have the same
core beliefs as you have! But now, due to so many activities and channels that has literally
expanded your network of people. And so many other things like Internet, books.etc that gives
you a lot of exposure. You are ended up with two families! One which brought you up. And the
other which you belong to. The family that brought you up had their own core beliefs. The
family that you later found out, the like minded people. Your friends. Your colleagues.etc had
their own core beliefs. Beliefs that you chose!Love marriages usually happen in this other family
of yours. Nowadays arranged marriages fail because your core beliefs and family's core beliefs
have changed. And love marriages fail because you are not going for the right person who shares
the same beliefs as you.

-Prithvi Raj,
Armchair Evolutionary Psychologist
Nov 17, 2012

Cultural relativism really affects the Filipinos with this matter. They commonly look to
others' cultures to further deliberate that theirs could be same as what they have looked to and
could be enhanced in accordance to the looking-glass self theory of Charles Cooley. To allow
this certain kind of marriage to upholdi what is essential or fundamental, one should look to it as
the benefit for the partners instead of being a threat to their freedom.
 Marriages arranged by parents and families are not all based on the whims of the young
couple. The young raging hormones have no role to play here. So, there is no impulsive
marriages and thereby no dreadful divorces. If you think couple in arranged marriages are
incompatible whereas couples in marriages made by choice is more compatible, then think again.
Couple in arranged marriages would be more compatible because they are of the same culture,
practice same religion and have many things in common. There would be no question of
distinctive beliefs contradicting or clashing in the form of religion, culture and language
differences. Arranged marriages definitely last longer.