FREE
01/02/01
www.ussu.co
.uk
Oh Shit!!
By Luke Hickey
Deputy Editor
After the sewage problems
reported in last week’s barefacts,
last weekend saw further prob-
lems with the University’s sewage
system. A total of over twenty stu-
dents were moved out of Guildford
Court over Saturday 27th January.
The areas affected were Clandon
and Compton houses.
During Saturday afternoon
sewage overflowed into the hall-
way outside the bathroom at the
lower end of one of the blocks in
Compton house and started flood-
ing into and around seven bed-
rooms. University Security imme-
diately moved the residents out
and the accommodation office
found them rooms in Cathedral
Court, where they are currently
staying at no extra charge.
At approximately 9:15pm,
sewage began flowing into the
hallway and rooms around the
bathrooms in Clandon. There
were similar problems in this
house the previous weekend, but
only on a small scale. One of the
residents, told barefacts that they
called out University Security, who
upon arrival helped the residents
try to hold the sewage at bay.
However, a combination of the
smell and the force of the raw
sewage began to overpower them
and they gave up. After trying to
clear everything off the floor in
their bedrooms, the residents
went to the Court Receptions to
await further information.
At about 10pm Luke Mackenzie
and Ben McCauley (VPs for
Finance and Development and for
Sport respectively) were asked by
A toilet system in reverse
barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
p6
University Security to go to
Clandon House 29-42. Luke told
barefacts what he found, “We
were called by Pete Huggins from
USSU reception, he was asked to
raise the highest ranking sabbati-
cal on campus. When we got to
Clandon, we found them all in a
state, with no information forth
coming. However, University
Security were great in their work
that evening.”
Meanwhile University Security
called Ann Griffiths , a member of
the accommodation team. Ann
attended and spent the next 4
hours trying to find all the resi-
dents alternative rooms on cam-
pus. However, Ann mainly works
on offsite accommodation and
was therefore unfamiliar with the
system of allocating on-campus
accommodation, so progress was
slow and in a few cases rooms
were allocated which were already
being lived in. Six residents (all
female) were given University
Court accommodation for the
night, with the remainder being
housed in other University Courts
and Hazel Farm.
By the following morning the
sewage level had lowered, leaving
just the smell and toilet paper lin-
ing the floors. On Monday morn-
ing, Richard Paxton, head of the
accommodation office, had arrived
to inspect the scene for himself.
The residents asked him if there
would be any compensation, but
he told them that he couldn’t com-
ment on it at the time. Barefacts
has also been informed that to his
credit, Paxton was helping the
clean-up, personally ripping up the
carpets to ensure they are
replaced rather than just cleaned.
The residents also told us that
Paxton was encouraging them to
move back, but Susie Westwell
(VP for Education and Welfare)
advised them not to move back
until she was satisfied it was safe
to do so. The six residents who
have been housed in University
Court have now been offered it on
the financial terms of Guildford
Court.
In an interview with barefacts,
Paxton explained what he
believed to be the causes of the
two weekends worth of flooding,
“The blockages in Guildford Court
appear to have been caused by
plastic bags and plastic food wrap-
News 1-4 n Bf History 15-23, n barearts 7-30
Issue no: 1000
barefacts beer drink - Bf Sporting
ing compe- Profiles
history tition
p17 p26-27 p33
pings which have been flushed
down toilets. The cause of the
Stag Hill blockage (weekend
before last) was not found though
a build up of grease in a drainpipe
was one suggestion. The two foul
water systems are entirely sepa-
rate and nothing indicates that the
problems are related.”
He also told us how he thought
the evacuations had gone from
the accommodation office’s point
of view, ”Although we have our fair
share of plumbing problems,
floods, etc. foul water leaks on this
scale and affecting this number of
students in such a short space of
time are unprecedented. Both sit-
uations have been difficult to deal
with because they occurred at
night and have affected the living
conditions of a large number of
students. Some of these students
have, understandably, been upset
by these events.
“The Residences staff,
Wardens, Union Sabbatical
Officers and Estates and Buildings
staff as well as Accommodation
Office staff have all played a part
in trying to resolve the situation as
swiftly as possible. In the event
that this type of event happens
again, we will take steps to re-
house students if needed and to
repair the problem. The one thing Sewage flowing down the bottom floor of Clandon
I have learnt is that you cannot
please everyone!” affected by the sewage problems email Luke at
Finally he spoke of plans for the or if you experience similar prob- barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
next few weeks, “We will have lems in the future then please
Stag Hill 29 ready for occupation
this week. Compton and Clandon
will take until the middle of next
week to rectify. If any students
have to move to cheaper accom-
modation, they will be refunded
the difference. No decision has
been made about compensation –
all our efforts have gone into the
most important work of getting stu-
dents settled again and the affect-
ed accommodation repaired.”
At time of going to press, it has
emerged that there are still prob-
lems accommodating the remain-
ing seven students, with some
unhappy with their treatment by
the accommodation office. There
have also been complaints that
some residents are still waiting to
get the belongings from their
rooms. Whatever happens please
be assure that barefacts will keep
you informed of the latest. Sewage - shower basin
If you have been personally
n Lifestyle 21 n Sport 34-36
 2 News 01/02/01

Editorial who wrote the Quirk’s music tips for 2001 and the
Sugar Coma interview then it was Andy (he also
wrote the Alien Crash Landing rag news article as
Editorial Team Well, it’s here, the 1000th issue. I can hardly believe well).
it that I am here still writing my editorial at 5.30 am.
Editor
Editor Yep, it’s taken this long to compile...I suppose its the Again, a big thank you and thanks for all the contri-
Kevin Marston 36 fun filled pages which did it. butions this year to barefacts as without them there-
would be a rather small paper.
Deputy
Deputy Editor
Editor Anyway going back to being the editor of the 1000th
issue. I feel that its quite honour considering how Hmmm, I’ve just realised that its now the 31st and its
Luke Hickey
many years and editors there have been before me my birthday, yeah......err getting old now...
Production and hopefully they will all like the paper and what I
Production Editor
Editor Well, its goodbye from a very tired me. And I will see
Andrew Thomas and this years barefacts team have done with it. I
believe that barefacts is one of the longest running you next week
News
News Team
Team Film
Film Editors
Editors student newspapers in the country which has main-
James Buller Libby Hurt tained the same name - even ahead of papers like Kev
Mike Rolfe the the Gair Rhydd (Cardiff)
Science
Science Editor
Editor
Political
Political Editor
Editor Nick Walsh As for the actual paper - will it still exisit for another
Reuben Thompson 1000 issues? Well, I am not sure it will in its current
Sports
Sports Editor
Editor form, a newspaper, because of the rapidly expanding
Dave Chapman internet technology, but it will great to hope that the
Features
Features Editor
Editor name will stay the same.
David Abbott
Marketing
Marketing Team
Team
Ali Danby Anyway, enough of me rambling on as you all are
Music
Music Editor
Editor
Ellen van Keulen probably getting bored of reading this by now so i
Owen Hazelby
hope you enjoy the paper and if you see some ele-
gantly dressed people handing out barefacts today
Arts
Arts Editor
Editor Proof
Proof Reader
Reader then say “hi” as it will be members from the barefacts
Vacant Duncan Hamilton
team.

Contributors
Contributors I would also like to say a big thank you to all the peo-
Ali Danby ple that helped out this week on the paper whether it
be writing, laying up or just staying to the same awful
Reuben Thompson hours as me just to get the paper ready in time,
David Abbott cheers Luke. As I am on the subject I must apologise
MWC to Andy (production ed) for not putting his name on
Simon Robinson two of his articles last week. So if you wanted to know
Music Team
SAIS
& Dr Russ ...News In Brief...News In Brief...News
Police Pull A Fast One the blackened shell because it was so unsafe.
Just four days earlier Guildford Borough Council’s
A row has erupted over ‘double standards’ used by planning committee had save the site from demolition.
Surrey Police. A Conservative Counsellor has brought Counsellor Nigel Sutcliffe said: “I’m surprised and
the constabulary to account over an incident concern- shocked and local neighbours are absolutely devas-
ing its top officer. tated.” Counsellor Auriol Earle added: “It’s absolutely
The Chief Constable, Denis O’Connor was travelling tragic that this much loved local landmark has gone.”
in a chauffeured car at 78mph, along the A3 last Planning committee chairman Richard Marks said he
December. Traffic police spotted the car and pulled it would be seeing if “a similar building to that of the orig-
over for speeding. When they realised who was inside inal Tangley Place, can be erected on the site.”
barefacts however the officers waved the car on. Ed Goodwin a director at Camp Moss Property, who
Union House, University Of Surrey Counsellor for Addlestone, Terry Dicks, questioned submitted the application for the office development in
Guildford, Surrey, GU2 7XH Surrey Police Authority over the affair during a meet- place of the building, was equally shocked by the fire.
ing of Surrey County Council on Tuesday. He had He said on Monday: “As far as I know the building is
Tel: 01483 879275 received a written statement from the SPA saying: not insured. I only heard about the fire this morning.”
Fax: 01483 534749 “The force recognises that all its drivers should set
email: barefacts@surrey.ac.uk the best possible example to other motorists. All police
Deadline for Publication officers are able to use their discretion when dealing Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?
with traffic offences.” “On this occasion, the traffic offi-
Monday 12pm cer did not operate within force guidelines in respect Last year Barefacts covered the university’s
of applying discretion.” “The chief constable is taking announcement that it would be hosting a position that
Submissions steps to reinforce the application of national guidelines rapidly became dubbed as ‘Professor of Airline Food’.
to the traffic officer involved and to the whole of Surrey Indeed Professor Peter Jones has now been
preferably on disk / email in Word 6.0 Format, Police. The chief constable is also of the view that a appointed to the post. Officially known as ‘
Text in Arial, size 9 font prosecution should have occurred in this case.” International Flight Catering Association Chair of
barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper, published by the University of Surrey Students' Union Communications Office.
O’Connor has said he was asleep at the time of the Production and Operations Management; he shall be
incident, was not aware of it and played no part. “dedicated to researching the airline catering industry”
The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors, and do not necessarily
represent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, the University of Surrey Students' Union Dicks faced the chairman of the police authority, and will receive £1/2 million sponsorship from the
or the University of Surrey. Alan Peirce at the council meeting, Mr Dicks said the IFCA.
This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express permission
statement was a “whitewash.” “Does the action taken Prof. Jones said: “This is an exciting challenge.
of the publisher.
by Surrey Police in this instance not indicate double When the post was first announced reports in the
All submissions must include the author's name and Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication. standards?” “Can we be assured that any other media suggested some scepticism about such a pro-
Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be published.
barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. motorist, not connected to the Chief Constable of
Surrey, caught driving at 28mph above the limit in sim-
Printed by ilar conditions, will be treated in the same way?”
East End Offset (TU), Bow, London, E3 3LT Peirce responded “the incident may be perceived to
© USSU Communications Office 2000 imply double standards. This is not the case and that
Surrey Police officers will continue to focus on speed-
ing and the threat it involves to the public in a consis-
tent manner in accordance with nation and local
guidelines.”

...Up In Smoke

An Edwardian building in Guildford caught fire last

week leaving the structure dangerously unstable.
Tangley Place on Worplesdon Road went up in flames
on Saturday for reasons unknown.
60 Firefighters attended the scene but couldn’t save
the much-loved building. Afterwards, Fire Accident
Investigators could not enter what little remained of
01/02/01
...News In Brief...continued...News In
fessorship. But this is a big industry generating sales
of US$15 billion a year. It is also highly complex, com-
prising airlines, caterers and suppliers around the
world. I hope that my expertise in operations will bring
some useful insights into how the industry may deliv-
er better quality food and service in more effective
and efficient ways.”
Jones will be based in the School of Management
Studies for the Service Sector.
Alder Hey Scandal
Professor Dick van Velzen, a pathologist at the
Alder Hey hospital in Liverpool, may face criminal
charges after an official report alleged that he had
ordered the removal of thousands of body parts from
dead babies.
The news that this was done without the parent’s con-
sent or knowledge will be a further embarrassment
for the Government who promised to improve the
NHS before they were elected.
Chief Medical Professor Liam Donaldson said: “We
need to regain a lot of public trust.”
Part of the strategy for this was outlined by Alan
Milburn, the Health Secretary who promised: “Those
who did wrong will now be held to account. The pain
caused to the parents by this dreadful sequence of
events is unforgivable.”
There are many examples of this pain felt by par-
ents. These include one woman who has held no less
than three funerals for her son as more of the body
parts have been released over time.
Unsurprisingly almost everyone in the country is
calling for action to ensure that this is never repeated.
Indian Earthquake
Rescue
efforts are
continuing in
India following
Friday’s earth-
q u a k e .
Measuring 7.9
on the Richter
scale, the
earthquake
was centred
in the north-
west state of
Gujarat, but
was felt
throughout
India, as well
as in Pakistan
a n d are, of course, more than happy to
Bangladesh. Many rescue teams continued to search
for several days, their spirits lifted by miracle stories
of people being pulled alive from the wrecked build-
ings on Tuesday. One man was pulled out after being
trapped for 103 hours and promptly joined the search
claiming he was fine. The search and clear-up con-
tinues and will probably carry on for several days.
Anti-yob measures divide voters
With the election looming (well 4 months isn’t that
long, is it?), certain key issues are bound to come up
again and again. One big area is going to be law and
order, but a recent poll suggests that voters have split
opinions about whether the Government’s “zero toler-
ance” approach will work.
The proposed measures include restrictions on
drinking in some public places, placing curfews on
News
certain areas for under 16’s and ‘on the spot’ fines for
rowdy behaviour.
You’d think that most people would be in favour of
the measures designed to crack down on ‘yob’ cul-
ture, but according to a BBC Online survey, 45%
thought that curfews were not a good idea and want-
ed other options to be looked at.
Trigger Happy? – Not any more!
Three fans of the television series Trigger Happy
TV, screened on Channel 4, found themselves in
Southend Magistrates Court this week after trying to
imitate the sort of sketch featured on the show. Paul
Booth, 23, and two unnamed teenagers staged a
mock mugging outside a post office to fool the public.
The staff of the post office called police after seeing
what looked like two teenagers attacking a postman.
The three were later charged with public order
offences, which they all pleaded guilty to. Booth was
fined £100 and the other two have yet to be sen-
tenced.
Sports Round-up
The excitement about the 2001 Formula 1 season
is beginning to mount this week following the launch-
es of the new cars from Ferrari, Williams and Jordan
amongst others. Recent pre-season testing has
shown that Michael Schumacher and the Ferrari
team will be setting the pace this season, although
there is still a couple of months for the other teams to
catch up.
Boxing looks set to return to terrestrial television,
after Lennox Lewis followed the example of Audley
Harrison and signed a deal to show future fights on
the BBC.
The six nations rugby tournament kicks off this
weekend, with England clear favourites to win it again
this year.
Lockerbie
The long awaited verdict of the two Libyan men
accused of the Lockerbie bombing was announced
yesterday. Pan Am flight 103 blew up over the
Scottish town, over twelve years ago in December
1982, resulting in the death of a total of 270 people.
Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi, 48, and Al Amin
Khalifa Fhimah, 44, both deny muder but will face life
imprisonment if convicted. (At time of going to press
the verdict had not been returned).
by James Buller & Mike Rolfe
3
Helen Roast Bar!
Bar
by Andrew Thomas
No sooner had certain residences on campus begun to overflow with
effluent a second crisis hit campus late on Saturday night. Motion and
Sonic Boom music societies were running a dance night in the HRB until
one of the speakers caught fire, allegedly as a result of overloading the
sound system. The crowd and DJs only became aware of the situation
when flames began to shoot from a speaker, people initially assuming
the smoke was coming from the usual machine and the orange glow
being some kind of special effect. Fire services were called and the bar
area evacuated, the flames were contained within the speaker and so
damage was limited. However, it is believed that the fire has still caused
some £2,000 worth of damage to the sound system and immediate
area.
Fire Fire
by Luke Hickey ing the fire/security control room,
Deputy Editor who then call the fire brigade and
send a security team to the scene.
After last week’s front page arti- It is only then that a decision
cle on the fire in Stag Hill Court, should be taken as to whether it is
barefacts has received a letter safe to tackle the fire youself, using
from Mark McGlinchey, the appropiate equipment. Please
University Fire Prevention Adviser. remember in all cases your safety
Mr. McGlinchey has asked us to is the most important thing, so
remind readers of the correct pro- please do not tackle the fire unless
cedure when discovering a fire. We you are convinced it is safe to do
so.
do so. Fire is a dynamic phenomenon
Upon discovering a fire you and can be very unpredictable in
should immediately raise the alarm nature.
by breaking the nearest glass fire The first priority is always to
alarm call point. This alerts every- raise the alarm.
one else in the building to the fact If you have any questions about
that there is a fire situation and fire safety, please do not hesitate
gives them the opportunity to evac- to speak to your departmental
uate. safety officer or one of the sabbs.
By doing this you are also alert-
Elections
The closing date for
the sabbatical elections
and NUS delegates
forms is 4pm, Friday
2nd February
 4 Your Emails & Greensoc 01/02/01

Your Emails
To: barefacts
From: Alex Stanway
Subject: RE: Tuition Fees
Cc:

Dear Sir,
In reply to Tristan O'Dwyer's let-
ter last week I wish to make sev-
eral points.
First of all, as I explained on the
web site discussion boards, as I
believe in self interest, and it
would be against my interests to
leave the NUS, I have no intention
of doing so.
Primary education could be fund-
ed by parents, charitable organi-
sations and anyone else who
chooses to fund it. One of the
beauties of having no centrally
imposed system is that with every
school working it's own way
around the problems schools
face, there would soon be an
Please send all responces to emails to barefacts not the author.
If you would like to write a letter then please send them to barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
array of innovative solutions that
none of us here, nor anyone in
Whitehall or Westminster could
think of in 100 years of discussing
it.
When every significant invention
from the wheel to the microchip
has been developed by private
individuals and companies, it is
quite simply wrong to say that pri-
vate funding will not cover blue
sky research. As the recent
dot.com explosion on stock mar-
kets showed, massive funding is
available for innovative compa-
nies exploring a potentially useful
technology. Could any govern-
ment anywhere have raised and
targetted this money so quickly
and effectively, before we even
ask if they *would* do so.
If taxation is about 'asking' peo-
ple to contribute, then what hap-
pens if I say no? Ultimately refusal
to pay taxes will get you put in
prison. The whole point of 'asking'
someone something, is that they
have a choice. With taxation the
'choice' is 'give us your money or
we'll lock you up.' This is not my
understanding of being asked.
Lastly, my point about educators
refusing to educate us is a truly
hypothetical one, but if we have a
right to education, I think it must
be addressed. Supposing no one
was prepared to teach in schools,
colleges and universities, how
would/could the government give
us the education we have a right
to? The point is really a more gen-
eral one of how can we have
rights that put active obligations
on other people? We can have a
right to free speech, private prop-
erty and other such rights
because they don't require any-
one to take any specific action, all
they require is that no one inter-
feres with our right to do that.
Having a right to education (and
other consumables) puts obliga-
tions on others. These obliga-
tions, and so the 'rights' we get
from them, can not exist along
side the right to do as we please
and to own private property.
Further to this I would ask where
these rights come from? The
rights to free speech, private prop-
erty and freedom from coercion
are rights each person posesses
of himself, and may trade for other
things more useful to him. For
example most people trade the
right to do what they want for 8
hours a day, in exchange for mak-
ing a living. Can I sell my right to
education? No. It is therefore not
a right I posess, but rather an enti-
tlement handed down frm above.
From a state that is meant to rep-
resent and serve us, but has in
fact come to own and control us.
Alex Stanway

GUILDFORD SAYS “NO!”

By Emma van Huysse
Ethics & Envirmoment Officer
At The Guildford Civic
The meeting, held before a packed Civic
Hall and relayed to the equally full bar area
last Tuesday represented an important
event in the future of the incinerator propos-
als for Slyfield. At the special Planning
Meeting, attended by 23 councillors, an offi-
cial objection was made by Guildford
Borough Council to the County Council with
whom the decision now lies. Their case was
strongly supported by GAIN (Guildford Anti
Incinerator Network), 16 public speakers,
and by the massive public response with a
turnout of over 1200! Although invited to
attend, Thames Waste Management, the
company making the application for the
incinerator, was conspicuous by their
absence.
The evening began with Simon Birch,
Director of Planning for GBC, introducing
those present and outlining the key ele-
ments of the proposal. Three independent
experts have been employed to look at the
main issues that have been raised as objec-
tions:
1) Pollution/waste and its effects
on health.
2) Appearance of the design.
3) Effects on local transport routes.
These were discussed in turn, and all the
experts gave presentations with a scientifi-
cally supported negative response. The fac-
tors described included the lack of knowl-
edge of the effects of dioxins and other
emissions on health, increased congestion
on the roads, economic impacts, impacts on
the local environment which includes the
Riverside Park and areas of particular con-
servational value, the high potential visibility
of the incinerator building itself, and failure
to comply with the proximity principal (in
other words, the incinerator site and size is
not appropriate to deal with the volume of
waste in it’s immediate proximity therefore speech from Abbottswood Residents the main issues – recycling, health, traffic,
much additional transportation would be Association also suggested an adoption of and the tentative nature of the Surrey Waste
necessary). They also identified several the ‘Three R’s” – “Reject! Reject! Reject!” Local Plan. She also mentioned the visual
gaps in TWM’s plan regarding the facilities Each of the Councillors were then given impact, proximity principal, lack of compli-
to be provided for recycling and use of the the opportunity to speak, and their views ance with the County Waste Plan as being
generated energy, as well as pointing out simply served to emphasise those already of significant importance. A vote was called,
that TWM has no contract to deal with given. An amendment to the Council’s and all members voted that the Thames
Surrey’s waste so we could end up import- report, referring to the final decision from the Waste Management’s proposal for an incin-
ing rubbish from all over to ensure the incin- County Council taking until July, was dis- erator at Slyfield should be rejected by
erator is maintained running at its full capac- cussed – it was felt that this was too long. A Surrey County Council. This decision was
ity. Ian Moore (Centre for the Protection of small change was made, although there greeted with a cheer from everyone present
Rural England) highlighted this, picturing were concerns that to hurry the case may in the hall, and after over three hours of dis-
Guildford becoming a “central bonfire facili- lead to the wrong conclusion being reached, cussions, words of thanks were made and
ty” for the county. Significantly, the Waste or for the wrong reasons. the meeting was drawn to a close.
Local Plan is currently under review, so any It was pointed out that even with increased We are now left to await the decision from
plans are being judged against dated infor- recycling targets being met, there would still the County Council. If planning permission
mation and changeable policies, and it was be some waste that would need disposing is granted and the proposal is allowed to
suggested that planning permission should- somehow. One Councillor stated he felt that proceed, several of the MP’s in attendance
n’t even be considered, let alone granted, incineration was a better option than landfill, stated that they would have the case called
until the local waste policy has been but was still opposed this proposal as he felt up to be considered at Government level.
finalised. the scale of the plan was totally inappropri-
Next was the turn of the public, with Rev. ate for Guildford’s needs. A valid opinion
Colin Matthew’s of GAIN stating a clear that needs addressed.
case against the proposal. Again, the report Councillor Angela Gunning summed up
was backed with scientific evidence, and
showed the tremendous level of public feel-
ing in its depth and detail. Many of those
involved have very real fears regarding their
families’ health and the potential risk of
something going seriously wrong. As a com-
pany, TWM has the worst record for envi-
ronmental convictions amongst all UK com-
panies.
The 16 other speakers were members of
the local community – individuals such as
teachers, MP’s, Community associations,
and businesses. Many of the issues raised
were similar to those already stated,
although there were many additional per-
sonal responses and all the speakers had
trouble expressing the full weight of their
opinions within their allotted 3 minutes.
What stood out was a huge commitment to
increasing recycling, with MP Nick St.Aubyn
stating “If Colchester can recycle half their
waste, Guildford can recycle half their
waste”. MP Sue Doughty urged the council
to “Go back and start again with a much
more imaginative policy!” An animated
01/02/01 Features 5

Your Shout Apathy Soc

by Luke Hickey
Deputy Editor
Column
So how have you been keep -
ing lately? I hope you haven't
had any cause to take a trip to
A&E, but imagine for a
moment that you have. Was it
after a car crash, bit of
whiplash perhaps? Did you
trip and twist your ankle or
wrist on an uneven bit of
paving (nothing to do with the
10 pints you've just con -
sumed, I hope)? Or did you
burn yourself by putting your
arm in the oven and leaving it
there for about ten minutes?
You may laugh but thanks to
an influx of 'No Win, No Fee'
or 'Where there's blame,
there's a claim' companies,
you are being encouraged to
conform to the kind of 'blame
culture' that we stereotypical -
ly associate with America.
The premise is simple, have
an accident, ensure you have
a case for saying it was some -
one else's fault entirely and
then sue them. If you win,
everybody's happy, you get
some money, the company
gets some money. If you lose,
you don't pay a penny.
Actually, that's not always
true, often there are various
associated costs, for example
insurance type policies. But
anyway the company wouldn't
take your case on if they
thought you would loose. I
wouldn't like to comment on
that, as I will probably get
sued myself if I give my opin-
ion. What I will say though is
that these companies are not
stupid.
I heard a couple of stories
over Christmas, I'm not 100%
sure that their true but if the
current escalation in 'Claim'
companies continues then
they could soon be very typi-
cal cases. A convicted thief
broke into a house and tried
to steal a washing machine,
but when he went to pick it up
he found it to be too heavy
and injured his back so much
that he couldn't move. When
the house owners got home
they found him and called the
police. The thief then tried to
sue the washing machine
manufacturers because there
was no notice on the washing
machine saying that it was
heavy.
Story two: a perfectly sane
man just bought a new fridge,
upon getting it home he, for a
reason probably only known
to him, decided to climb on it.
The fridge then toppled over
and landed on him. He pro-
ceeded to bring a case
against the fridge manufactur -
ers because there was no by A.Member
mention in the instruction
book to not climb on it.
Ificanbebothered editor
The national press recently
had a field day, taking the
mickey when the BBC brought
out a number of instruction
leaflets, including one about
how to go through revolving
doors and another about how
to boil a kettle. I personally
think this was sheer genius
from the beeb, covering them-
selves in advance, but it does
provide a sad indictment on
society.
So my point is this, if there
is a genuine accident that was
somebody else's fault (and I'm
talking about it being their
fault morally, not just legally)
then by all means seek com-
pensation. However if it was
just one of those things, I beg
you, please use the old fash-
ioned method of not always
looking for a scapegoat to
financially take to the clean-
ers. Maybe then we might
start to slow down the alarm-
ing growth in these types of
companies that make money
out of people's misfortune.

Know Your Rights

by Tom Sugarman
Feature Writer
Due to the introduction of tuition fees and the aboli-
tion of maintenance grants, paid employment has
become a necessity for students wishing to avoid
huge debts after graduation. With more than 90% of
all students working during the holidays & 40% during
term time clearly knowledge of rights in the workplace
is an important topic for students.
In November 1999 the NUS and the Trade Union
Congress joined forces to launch the 'Unions in
Partnership' campaign. This aimed to bring students
into trade union membership as it is only by joining a
trade union that a student's rights in the workplace can
be assured. In conjunction with this is the continuing
NUS 'grants not fees' campaign to abolish tuition fees,
which if successful would reduce the need for stu-
dents to work in the first place. Another joint NUS &
TUC initiative is the 'Are you getting enough' cam-
paign, aimed at raising student awareness of their
new rights at work under the national minimum wage.
The scale of the problems faced by students in the
workplace can be seen by NUS 'Students at Work
Survey' where 311 students were surveyed. The most
worrying aspects of the survey were that:
* Over two thirds were working to meet basic living
costs
The most common health and safety problem cited in
the workplace was employers failing to provide trans-
port either late at night or early in the morning,
although this is in part due to the introduction of the
minimum wage. This is because employers have
looked to cut costs in order to negate adverse effects
on profit margins and hence fringe benefits such as
taxis for transport home in the evening have been a
casualty.
In conjunction with the public service union UNISON
the NUS has produced a website
www.troublework.org.uk which gives students infor-
mation and advice on all aspects of employment rang-
ing from self - motivation to dealing with a bullying
boss.
A Summary of your rights is shown below although
troubleatwork.org.uk is a good starting point if you
have a particular problem.
From your first day at work in a new job you are
entitled to:
* A proper pay statement showing how much you earn
with any deductions
·
* Time off for antenatal care
·
* Freedom from discrimination on grounds of sex, race
or disability

* 90% of respondents said that their employment was

not relevant to their chosen career. After you have worked for one month you are enti-
tled to:
* The average rate of pay was £4.37 per hour. In rela- ·
tion to the Council of Europe's decency threshold * One week's notice of dismissal
(£6.90 per hour) or the Low Pay Unit's low pay thresh- ·
old (£6.38 per hour) it is clear students are working in * Payment if you are suspended
low pay jobs.

* Only 25% of respondents said there was a recog- After one year's service you are entitled to
nised trade union in their workplace. ·
* Claim unfair dismissal
Unsurprisingly the survey found those working long ·
hours affected academic work with 59% of respon- * A written statement from your employer stating why
dents stating that there work had a detrimental impact you have been sacked
on their degree. 21% had failed to submit coursework.
 6 Reuben rants 01/02/01

Reuben Rants he’s political!

by Reuben Thompson
Political Editor
Well, if you are looking for the
sensible side of British politics, I
suggest that you take a break from
my article this issue (as if any of
you actually read it anyway!).
There has been nothing but back-
stabbing and bitching all week,
most of it surrounding one Peter
Mandelson, an unimposing gentle-
man, known for his non-controver-
sial behaviour, whom none of us
had ever really noticed before this
week.
Okay, so that last bit wasn’t com-
pletely true, but the aforemen-
tioned Mr. Mandelson managed to
get himself sacked (“resigned”) for
dubious behaviour for the second
time in a year. His repeated rise
and fall has astounded many by
actually being faster than that of
Michael Hesletine under the Tories
in the mid eighties. He does,
though have some way to go
before notching up the grand total
of four sackings thusfar enjoyed by
Hesletine.
On this particular occasion, the
(ex-)Northern Ireland Secretary
has managed to get the heave-ho
for some alleged “discrepancies”
in the handling of the application
for British citizenship by Indian bil-
lionaire SP Hinduja. Mandelson
denies having done anything par-
ticularly wrong, but he did after all
initially deny having borrowed
£300,000 off the then paymaster-
general, Geoffrey Robinson, last
year. Whatever the truth behind
the matter, both Ann Widecombe
and William Hague have had an
absolute field day in ripping it out
of our beloved government.
In other news, Richard
Tomlinson, the ex MI6 spy, has
been defying a government ban on
the publication of his book by hav-
ing it published in Moscow, much
as Spycatcher was printed in
Australia. The
main difference
this time is that
e-commerce site 192.com shipped
5,000 copies into the UK in direct
opposition to the ban. The Sunday
Times then argued that since the
public could get the book anyway
they could print excerpts. The high
court agreed, saying it would
“make a mockery of the govern-
ment if something widely available
were suppressed”. The upshot of
all this is that the government had
to back down and it will now
appear in paperback here in the
UK next month.
Lastly, Lib-Dem MP Norman
Baker took the home secretary to
court this week over his refusal to
reveal whether MI5 held a file on
him for his “ecological activities”
(i.e. Greenpeace membership).
This is the first test of the new
Freedom of Information act.
Unfortunately however, the act is
widely expected to fall to pieces at
the first piece of controversy due
to the general wooliness of its con-
tent. Yet another case of that regu-
lar government problem— a good
idea executed badly.

by Bulent Yazici
USSU Online
Technology Officer
With the Unions' continous effort to
improve its' services to the stu-
dents, USSU has appointed Bulent
'B' Yazici as the new Webmaster
and Technology Officer of the
Union. He has been working on
the website, as a part of his final
year project. This way, the Union
has been helping B with this
degree and in return B has been
providing a professional service to
USSU and the student body, free
of charge!
Last semester B put down some
goals he wanted to achieve with
the website
- Improve the design and ease of
use of the USSU website
- Increase the frequency of visits to
the site.
- Increase the awareness of stu-
dents to events around the
University and the Union.
- Attract advertisers to generate
much needed money.
- All these goals sound like a good
idea, but a lot of changes needed
to be done to the website before
they could be achieved. Not all
these changes are visible to the
visitors of the site but the way the
website runs now allows the
Sabbs and relevant Union people
to update the site more regularly.
If you remember what the old web-
site looked like last year, you'll
realize that the website has gone
through a lot of design changes.
This was B's first priority as the
new site makes it easier to navi-
gate and be able to add more sec-
tions if needed. Next came the
second goal; Moving the USSU
site out of the University servers
and placing it outside JANET (The
UK academia network on which all
.ac.uk websites are hosted on).
This allows the website to be data-
base driven which in turn allows
online administration pages to
which all clubs, societies, sabbs
and several other Union members
have rights to enter and change
the website. The one downside is
that students accessing the web-
site from their rooms for free, using
the internal dialup, are temporarily
not able to view the site. He is hop-
ing that UCS will soon give access
to residents. (This is under UCS's
control, not ntl). Another advan-
tage of moving the site out of the
University network is the ability to
have our own domain name,
www.ussu.co.uk which is easier to
remember and is more suited for
marketing purposes. Another
important advantage is the fact
that it is now easier to advertise on
the Union website. In fact, with a
deal with NUS, the Union is now
receiving £4,000 a year for adver-
tising on the website. B is hoping
that with proper marketing, the
http://www.ussu.co.uk
feedback form to send him these.
website will generate more hits These would also help in his proj-
and this in turn will allow the union ect documentation!
to charge more companies with
advertising deals.
In the last academic year (1999-
2000), the Union website received
about 130 visitors per week. Now,
the website is regularly receiving
more than 1,200 visitors per week.
This nearly ten-fold increase is
more than anyone in the Union
expected but is a measure of the
success of the website. B is hoping
with proper marketing, the aware-
ness of the website can be raised
and this might even rocket the
usage of the website to well over
2,500 visitors per week. One of the
hardest challenges that has
plagued B is the flow of information
from the sabbaticals and other offi-
cials, to the students, via the web-
site. The Union has been running
in a set way and it has been hard
to change some of this. As time
progresses, the flow of information
has been growing but at the
moment he still considers it a trick- The New Union web into page.
le. Hopefully, in the upcoming
months, this will increase and
maybe to a full flowing river of
information by next year when the
new sabbs will learn from the
beginning to work with the website.
In the meantime, he will be using
his role as Technology Officer to
try to change things around the
Union.

So, go on, have a look around the

website. It now boasts the follow-
ing;

Up-to-date news and information

More and in-depth information
about the Union and events
General Information
Forums (Bulletin Board)
Pictures pages
Sports & Societies pages
Jobs @ Union section
Welfare & Services pages
Elections pages
Auction pages

B is working continously on the

website and if you want to help B,
he would love to hear your com-
ments and suggestions about the
A snippet from the flash movie intro website. You can use the online An example of the easy to use menu system
 Music News
Competitions
OFU
 8 Music News and Competitions 01/02/01

Music News
30 people have been injured at the Big
Day Out festival in Sydney Australia
this week. During Limp Bizkit’s head-
line set 30 people had to be pulled out of
the moshpit and several members of the
crowd had sustaining injuries including
one girl who suffered a heart attack and
was resuscitated back stage by para-
medics. Limp Bizkit were given praise
for their actions by stopping their set in
what the organisers called a “difficult sit-
uation with a volatile audience”.
“Excessive heat and crowd excitement”
were blamed for the cause of the inci-
dent.
As a result of this incident Limp Bizkit
have withdrawn from the remaining of
their headline appearances at the Big
Day Out festival shows. A statement
from the band commented that “concern
for our fans safety and well being is our
first priority… people hurt during what is
supposed to be an enjoyable and unify-
ing experience affects us profoundly.”
The band have pulled out due to argu-
ments with the organisers about not put-
ting on extra security. Meanwhile in the
UK the bands success continues by top-
ping both the album and single charts.
Jonathan King former Radio 1 DJ and
pop mogul has been charged with 11
offences against young men and boys
Limp Bizkit
with some of the incidences dating back
to the 1970’s. King was arrested by show in Reykjavik to preview some of for being manufactured. O-Town, the
police on January 23rd and was taken to the new material. The new album fea- result of the TV series ‘Making The
Staines police station in Middlesex tures rare vocals from frontman Stuart Band’ were put together by former N-
where he was later released on bail. He Braithwaite but he has commented he Sync manager Lou Pealrman who was
is due to return to Staines magistrate chose to do it because “there are lots of sacked by the band in 1998. Lance
court on February 13 th to face further bands making the kind of records Bass from N-Sync said that the bands
charges. King has yet to comment on Mogwai made two years ago, so we had objections are justified on ethical
these new charges. to make something different.” Fans will grounds that the way O-Town got
be pleased to know that “there’s still together was “just a bunch of stupidity.”
Mogwai’s new album ‘Rock Action’ is noise, though.” Something about the pot calling the ket-
now complete and is going to be tle black springs to mind.
released on April 23 rd. Before the Finally this week, popsters N-Sync
release they are due to play a one off have slammed pop newcomers O-Town

Hi, Lovebite here again with a plethora of goodies for you to win off

Competition me in the usual manner. My thanks to the Bird Bums for standing in for
me last week, although her running the comps coincided with a drop in
the number of people entering, in fact nobody entered. Marvellous.
Well despite this I have some fantastic prizes for you; how do you
fancy, £75 in Topman/Topshop vouchers, or two VIP Union Semester
Passes, or two tickets to the Boy George gig, sound good read on.

Time! As usual all entries (except the Boy George one) have to be in by
6pm Monday 6th February 2001. Email your answers to barefacts@sur-
rey.ac.uk. Editor’s decision is final, first name out of the hat for all
except the FNO tickets.

Win 2 Tickets to Boy George FNO

Ok so you’ve heard of Boy George then, fancy seeing him at the union tomorrow (Fri 2nd Feb) but don’t want
to fork out £6 a ticket to go and see him. Well help is at hand as I have a pair of tickets to give away. For
what I hope are fairly obvious reasons, please get all entries in to barefacts’ email address by 2pm Friday
2nd February. Please include a phone number which we will be able to contact you on to let you know you’ve
won. So here’s the question:

Which band was Boy George the lead singer of?

Boyzone
Culture Club
The Tweenies

Win £75 to spend in Win 2 VIP Union Passes

Topshop or Topman! How do you fancy free entry to the Union for most Friday’s left before
Easter? I’m sure you know how the VIP passes work, so I wont bore
This one is really easy, I give you £75 of vouchers if you’re the first you with the details but basically the prize would cost you (if you could
name out of the hat or if you’re the second or third then I give you £25. still buy them) £30. Worth having? Well answer this question:
Nice. You can spend these vouchers at a dozen places including
Topman / Topshop, Burtons, Dorothy Perkins, Evans, and Miss This issue of barefacts is the
Selfridge. To be in with a shout of winning this fantastic prize just
answer this really easy question: 10th
100th
What was so special about week 2 of this semester? 1000th

It was Rag week

It was Old Hag week
It was New Carrier Bag week

Win 6 FNO Tickets

Old one this, just answer the following question in the wittest, most original and apt way you can think of and
you and 5 of your mates can get into the union for free and without having to queue, and as if that wasn’t
enough, I’ll even throw in Fuse’s latest album, Audio. Can’t say fairer than that can I?

Other than Friday Night Out, what could FNO stand for? (please remember this is a family newspaper
and we don’t print rude works)
01/02/01 Millionaire 9

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Hi, quizmaster Lovebite here again, Ask the Audience 50:50
being bf’s 1000th birthday we
thought we’d let some of our finest £100: a 0% b: 100% c: 0% d: 0% £100: keep a & b
jouirnalists show themselves up. For £200: a: 100% b: 0% c: 0% d: 0% £200: keep a & d
example how much does Chops,our £300: a: 0% b: 3% c: 95% d: 2% £300: keep c & d
sports ed., really know about sport, £500: a: 19% b:3% c: 78% d: 0% £500: keep b & c
or how much of a film buff is our film £1000: a: 16% b: 74% c: 7% d: 3% £1000: keep a & b
editor, Libby. As usual, two lifelines £2000: a: 72% b: 15% c: 3% d: 10% £2000: keep a & d
(ask the audience and 50:50) and if £4000: a: 4% b: 88% c: 7% d: 3% £4000: keep b & c
they get the £1000 and £32k ques- £8000: a: 9% b: 8% c: 79% d: 4% £8000: keep a & c
tions right, they ‘win’ at least that. If £16000: a: 6% b: 59% c: 31% d: 4% £16000: keep b & d
you want to take part in a future £32000: a: 32% b: 45% c: 21% d: 2% £32000: keep a & b
Millionaire, and represent your £64000: a: 6% b: 21% c: 34% d: 39% £64000: keep a & d
department, society or sports club £125,000: a: 4% b: 31% c: 16% d: 49% £125,000: keep c & d
then drop us a line a barefacts@sur- £250,000: a: 33% b: 39% c: 18% d: 10% £250,000: keep a & c
rey.ac.uk. £500,000: a: 24% b: 29% c: 21% d: 26% £500,000: keep a & b
£1,000,000: a: 27% b: 25% c: 26% d: 22% £1,000,000: keep a & d
Thanks to everybody who rather
gleefully pointed out to me that most of last week’s answers were wrong.
I would at this point like to blame Kev, but it probably was my fault. They
The Contestants
should have read: c,b,a,b,d, a,d,b,a,c d,a,c,b,a. And yes, I did make the Dave Chapman Alison Danby
questions far too easy last week, please rest assured, I won’t be so gen-
erous in the future. Representing the marketing
First up was Surfer Boy
Chops, our learned Sports team was the Miss Piggy of
Finally, last week’s winner Jez suggested that there is a Champions, the bf team. Ali started off
Editor, who openly professes
Weakest Link style, play off before Easter. So hopefully it will happen live living up to her blondness by
to know not a lot about sport
in the Union, with maybe a small prize for the winner. I’ve always fancied saying, “I can always do it
(as his prediction of Man Utd
being Anne Robinson. Goodbye. on the telly, I’m actually quite
for the Cup shows). Chops
started off exclaiming that he good on the telly.” She didn’t
however offer an opinion on
The Questions: ‘did really badly last week
and it was meant to have been too easy’ Well, he how she would do at the quiz. Ali started off well,
managed to stumble through the first six, with a few knowing every answer till question 5 where she
£100: What is the capital of Ireland guesses, but he did manage to avoid using any life- asked the audience, which confirmed what she
a: Single b: Dublin c: Treblin d: Qudruplin lines. Question six saw a big gamble, as he had no thought. Question 6 was confortable for the Winnie
idea, except it wasn’t the Spice Girls, but he the Pooh number one fan but disaster struck on
£200: What style of cooking would you be eating if you were consuming guessed correctly. He amazingly got the sportsques- question 7. Ali took her 50:50 lifeline and then pro-
a Korma? tion (7) then used his audience lifeline on question ceeded to guess wrongly.
a: Indian b: Italian c: Chinese d: Scottish 8, and followed their advice. Question nine was
another guess, then 10 then saw his downfall, as he £1,000
£300: Which of these days comes earliest in the calendar year? incorrectly thought d was correct.
a: Christmas Day b: May Day c: St. Valentines Day Dave Abbott
d: St. Stephen's Day £1,000
Union Chairperson, bf fea-
£500: Martin Kemp used to be a member of which band? Owen Hazelby tures editor and now
a: Duran Duran b: Queen c: Spandau Ballet d: The Spice Girls Millionaire contestant, how
Bf man with his finger on does the vampire fit it all
£1000: In which Shakespearean play did Sooth Sayers advise a char- the pulse of today’s music in? Well, in the middle of
acter to 'Beware the idea of March'? began with the question his frantic schedule , we
a: MacBeth b: Julius Caesar c: Hamlet d: The Comedy of Errors “Why have I been roped tested his general know-
into this?” Well the incred- eldge. He stard off having a
£2000: Who created Winnie The Pooh? ably clever Man-Made pop at me, “Are the ques-
a: A.A. Milne b: Enid Blyton c:Lewis Carroll d: Roald Dahl Marion had nothing to fear tion correct this week? I’m not well at the minute but
as he sped through the first I’ve got at least £32k both previous times.” His confi-
£4000: In a normal game of basketball, how many players can each eight questions with only dence was misplaced as he stumbled through the
side have on the court at any time? one slight hitch. Owen took first five questions with a combination of guesses
a: 4 b: 5 c: 6 d: 7 his audience lifeline on question 3 being unsure and the audience lfeline onquestion 4 (and then
when St. Stephens Day is (26th December). acusing me of being wrong again). Question 7 was
£8000: How many months were there in early Roman Calendars? Question nine saw the end of the Music God, after then when his luck ran out as he incorrectly
a: 6 b: 8 c: 10 d: 12 taking a 50:50, he still had no idea so he took the guessed 7.
money. A wise move as his guess was wrong, so
£16000: Which was Sean Connery's second film as James Bond? Owen is through to the grand final. £1,000
a: Diamonds are Forever b: From Russia with Love
c: Dr. No d: Goldfinger £8,000 Libby Hurt
£32000: Which Prime Minister came to power immediately after Sir Film editor Libby was last to
Winston Churchill's third and final term ended in 1955?
James Buller take to the hotseat and had
a: Clement Attlee b: Sir Anthony Eden c: Harold MacMillan the advantage of knowing
d: Harold Wilson
One of bf’s longest serving everybody else was useless
members, Jimbo is the before her. She started off
£64000: In which year was Sir Christopher Wren born?
main member of the news by declaring that she was
a: 1482 b: 1532 c: 1582 d: 1632 “quietly confident”. The sex-
team, having been it’s edi-
tor from 1997. He started godness next door neigh-
£125,000: What is the 14th chemical element? bour began in a similar vein
a: Lithium b: Boron c: Carbon d: Silicon off with a quietly confident,
“I enjoy the program a lot to Mr. Hazelby by getting through to question 8 hav-
and usually do quite well.” ing lost just the one lifeline, audience, on question 3.
£250,000: Which rugby union team play at The Memorial Stadium?
Well, James was the first of Question 8, though, totally threw the film buff and
a: Bristol b: Northampton c: Rotherham d: Harlequins she took the money, not having any idea as to the
the contestants to sail through the first three without
either having to guess or use a lifeline. answer. So she escped without answering the film
£500,000:Who played the male lead in the Hollywood Classic 'Yankie question (9) but for the record she got it wrong.
Doodle Dandy' ? However, the first lifeline was used on question 4 (a
a: Fred Astaire b: James Cagney c: James Dean 50:50) and then second shortly after on question 5.
In both cases he then got the question correct. £4,000
d: Dean Martin
Question 6 proved straight forward enough but the
£1,000,000: Who invented the hovercraft? basketball question took another victim as James The Answers
a: Sir Christopher Cockerell b: Sir Michael Spowner thought it was 4.
c: Sir Timothy Duken d: Sir Richard McGoverall £100: b £200: a £300: c £500: c £1000: b
£1,000 £2000: a £4000: b £8000: c £16000: b
£32000: b £64000: d £125,000: d £250,000: a
£500,000: b £1,000,000: a
10
Singles
Shivaree – Goodnight Moon (Capitol)
This debut UK single from Shivaree is
simply magnificent. Fronted by
Ambrosia, with her chilling beautiful
vocals which make Shivaree sound like
Mazzy Star with the complexity and
genius of Tom Waits. Goodnight Moon
is a beautiful, weird musical sound-
scape that needs to be savoured. 8/10
S.R.
LOWGOLD - Mercury (Nude)
Blame Coldplay. 2001 will no doubt see
many trying to emulate the success of
the band who brought you ‘Yellow’.
Thankfully Lowgold are actually quite
good, at least in the genre of acoustic
bedsit escapist romanticism. 8/10 A.T.
SPOOKS - S.I.O.S.O.S- Volume 1
This is new commercialised hip hop
from New York. It sounds ok and some
of the tunes are catchy, but I think that
much of their style has been taken from
the Fugees. I think they are trying to use
the same recipes for success. Check it
out though . “Things I’ve Seen” has
been on the Radio quite a bit recently
so I guess if you liked that then you’ll
like the album. I think Spooks will
Album of the Week
Arab Strap – Love
Detective (Chemikal
Underground)
Aidan Moffat must be the
most depressed person
known to man.
Constantly singing of for-
lorn love and ex-girl-
friends, Arab Strap are
enough to drive anyone
to suicide. However, this
is their greatness, they
sing about real feelings
and emotions that have
not be created for them,
something pop never
does. This is dark,
moody, melancholic and
f**king great. 9/10 S.R.
Rock DJ!
DJ Downfall / The Sunset Sound
London Kings X Waterats, 13th January
The Sunset Sound are a five piece that
includes 2 ex members of power poppers,
Gel, and 1 from infamous grrrl teen punks,
Period Pains. It is unsurprising to find their
sound is a heady mixture of naïve har-
monies and choppy fuzz. The influences
stem from the early sixties, even going as far
as to cover the “ba ba ba, ba, Barbara Anne”
tune that most people now recognise from
the Baby Bell cheese adverts. Neither as
camp as Steps or as allegedly “indie rock” as
the previous act they supported, the Dum
Dums, this gang need a direction to take
them away from being merely passably
pleasant.
Music Reviews
THE WEBB BROTHERS – I Can’t
Believe You’re Gone (Mews 5)
“I can’t believe it” sing the Webb broth-
ers on their latest single. Perhaps it is
them reflecting on their recent success.
With sold out UK shows and successful
single sales their name may one day
become bigger than their dad’s. ‘I Cant
Believe You’re Gone’ is a strutting,
stomping piano fuelled romp. 7/10 S.R.
CRASHLAND - Waiting For Someone
(Independiente)
1995 was the year of Britpop. Crashland
are 6 years too late. With a boppy
rhythm, a slightly nasal singer, and plen-
ty of “nah nah nah” backing vocals
everything is here. Nice, but tired. 6/10
A.T.
SPACEK – Eve (Island)
A fluid blend of styles and sounds, this
debut single should prove quite suc-
become quite successful. .lets see…
5/10 C.H
APARTMENT 26 - Papa Roach
This is their debut album and I thought
it was trash. Trash metal fusing all sorts
of stuff together in anarchistic orgy of
melodies. The collection is a “wild ride
that speeds down the rock and roll free-
way like a blur , hopping over drum n’
bass like speed-bumps, swirling around
It’s a strange idea to make a DJ a headline
act at a live gig but DJ Downfall almost pulls
it off. Backed by primitive drum machine
rhythms and synths DJ Downfall (formerly
John from C96 discopunks, Dweeb) is joined
by a mate to set off vocal samples and fiddle
with keyboards. It sounds like music for an
Amiga game for the most part, occasionally
with earth shuddering drum loops free falling
in. Not much to watch and not really very
danceable either, his “live experience” either
needs to be enhanced or he should hide
behind some decks and wave his hands
occasionally ala Fatboy Slim.
Andrew Thomas
01/02/01
Single of the Week
LLAMA FARMERS
– Note On The Door
(Beggars Banquet)
A relentlessly catchy
guitar riff is the basis
of this single, which
is another demon-
stration that guitar
driven pop is by no
means dead… quite
alright! 8/10 J.H.
cessful. 6/10 J.H. they were from the states which I mean
as a compliment but the tunes here
57 DYNASTY - Ghetto Gold / Hold were , in my opinion nothing to shout
Strong about . Although I think in the future they
These guys are from Brixton and by might produce something a bit more
their rapping you know, you might think exceptional. 5/10 C.H.
oncoming charges of heavy metal gui-
tars and dodging a steady pritzing of
dance rhythms.” So all you punks, what
are you waiting for?
3/10 C.H.
Albums
sounding like a cross between Neil
LUKAN – Lukan (Depth)
Young And Brian Molko, the guitars
The new album from Lukan features 10
have muscle and the drummer must get
dynamic new songs filled with their
through a set of drums a day at least,
trademark big riffs and arena drums, big
judging by this!!!. These guys have all
choruses and intelligent, soulful lyrics…
the ingredients to make it big: great
Lukan rock, and that, nowadays, is an
songs, great tunes and loads of atti-
extremely precious commodity! Keep a
tude. Thirst will definitely quench your
look out for them, they are going to be
huge. 7/10 J.H. thirst for good music! 7/10 O.C.
KINGS OF CONVENIENCE - Quiet Is
TEENAGE FANCLUB – Howdy
The New Loud (Mawlaw)
(Columbia)
The title says it all. KOC are very very
The Scottish quartet that attracted mod-
quiet. Bare acoustic plucking features in
ern rock attention with its Geffen debut
just about all the songs (because, pre-
Thirteen and has given us such great
sumably, strumming would be a little too
albums as ‘Bandwagonesque’ and
aggressive?). First track, ‘Winning A
‘Songs From Northern Britain’ bounces
Battle, Losing The War’, is pleasant in a
back with a new set that alternates
poor Belle & Sebastian clone kind of
between well-crafted harmonies and
way. From then on in it’s even quieter,
stormy guitar interplay. With lines like
and verging on folk. Crossed legs round
“Don’t know what I’ll do but laziness will
a camp fire, this deserves 3/10 A.T.
see me through” this is the album all
fourth years doing their dissertations
have been waiting for, but I am sure you
will all find something in it you like! 7/10
O.C
THIRST – From Mouth To Skin (Zip) This weeks reviews brought to you by:
These are some of the most honest and Andrew Thomas, Christian Hunter, Alex
bold lyrics I have heard for quite a Rajkovic, Simon Robinson. Matt
while… their frontman is excellent, Southcombe, Oliver Chamero.
01/02/01
Why Does “Directors Cut” and “Special Edition” mean
More Music (or Film)?
Think of the words. Special Edition.
First used in 1980, to promote the then
‘Directors Cut’ of Spielberg’s “Close
Encounters Of The Third Kind”, it began to
mean, slowly, but surely, the way in which
the directors of said film could ‘reclaim’ the
movie from the commercial clutches of the
major studios and present their original,
untainted cinematic vision. Quite why this
was allowed to happen, and why directors
didn’t just bemoan the meddling hands of
their despotic studio bosses in the numerous
interview opportunities open to them, is a
mystery.
unless… they agreed to mercilessly exploit
the consumer by presenting, at a later date,
previously unseen footage. That’s right.
What you saw and paid for the first time,
wasn’t the whole film, just a diluted greatest
hits version, sanitised by the millionaires in
command. Surely then, now that the oppor-
tunity has arisen, we should see the film as
it was meant to be, for free? We’ve already
paid the money, invested the time, seen the
film already. So give us the ‘proper version’
for free.
Oh no, see it again, firstly at your local mul-
tiplex where the projectionist can’t be both-
ered to get the picture just right, and then
again on overpriced DVD – where we sell
you your memories again at a higher price –
or on a crappily re-edited VHS in the ‘pan-n-
scan’ format with some, but not all, extra
footage tacked on the end haphazardly, per-
haps in a box set, with some dog tags and a
fake diary. For a nice large price tag.
Stand up, Reservoir Dogs. The Abyss.
Aliens. Terminator 2. Sixth Sense.
Ghostbusters. Fight Club. Matrix. Titanic.
Star Wars. The Empire Strikes Back. Return
Of The Jedi. Blade Runner. JFK. Natural
Born Killers. Pulp Fiction. Trainspotting. True
Romance.
For those of us, unable, or unwilling to
reduce the pool of cinematic memories to
whatever the DVD manufacturers see fit to
legitimise in a Stalinist revisionism of history,
we are reduced instead to looking at copy-
protected (i.e. finite lifespan) cheap video-
tape with a whole host of castrated ‘fea-
tures’. In order to push the DVD players and
the Saddam sponsored Playstation2 VHS is
slowly being edged out of the market. Whilst
the quality of VHS is somewhat lacking, it is
somewhat frustrating to have to repurchase
your entire collection of films every few years
when a new format is released and
inevitably, lose some unprofitable master-
pieces as martyrs to the cause.
But how does fit in with the new, and repug-
nant, “Special Edition Means More Music”
REM, repackaged for the people
Music Reviews/ live 11
campaign currently defacing posters across
Tube Stations in Britain? Simple. In some
way, to try to prop up the corrupt, inefficient
and uncompetitive British Music Industry, the
industry has chosen to bastardise our music
by tacking on new sleeves, extra unreleased
and unreleasable material and bootleg
mixes with gaffa tape to our established
albums.
This is a crass, and wholly avoidable attempt
to recoup the crass mismanagement with
the current industry, as every label chases
the increasingly irrelevant and ever shrinking
teen market with super-expensive multimil-
lion dollar videos that actually cost more per
minute than most blockbusters, advertising
the fake breasts of supposedly attractive
mannequins miming along to songs they
don’t like, don’t write and don’t understand in
an attempt to push themselves ever further
up the ladder of infamy and celebrity cinema
premiere guest lists. And Johnny Public
funds it when Joe and Jo Record Label picks
the wrong pretty boy to pour money into.
Even the biggest bands are not immune. U2, fought their record company, and
REM found every one of their early albums releases will be priced at a reasonable Apart”. The Manics Generation Terrorists
repackaged with a myriad of bonus songs, £9.99. Maybe missing a CD-Rom video and being closed by the furious “Motown Junk”.
generally crap quality live recordings, gaffat- a crap demo version of a song you don’t like Or Nirvana’s Nevermind finishing on a unre-
aped on the end. U2 fought tooth and nail, anyway. But relatively speaking a bargain, leased breakneck punkrock demo “Pay To
yet lost, to their record company who insist- and containing the album the way it was Play” instead of the elegiac “Something In
ed on adding a second-rate soundtrack con- meant to be heard, without any crap remixes The Way”. Special Edition Means More
tribution to their album. If this is the biggest or extra trimmings to tempt the mindless and Music. Fuck Off. Special Editions Means Get
band in the world, what hope do the smaller the dumb. Ripped Off. Be Like Zak Off Grange Hill. Just
bands in the world have of their artistic free- Say No.
dom to create good music? None. Bands are Still don’t get it? Fine. Imagine Joy Division’s
forced to release records they don’t like Closer – the ultimate nihilistic album of the Mark Reed
because they owe money to their label, edge of suicide – being closed, in England
which has squander a fortune on drugged up only, by the jaunty pop of “Love Will Tear us
PR’s and pretty gay boys trying to commod-
ify music like ice cream to school children. Of
course, the general public aren’t that clever.
Some suck up to such tactics, like the lucky,
grateful punters they are. Others see
through such soulless exploitation and burn
CDR’s.
So stand up the following, all of whom have
released “Special Edition” albums, whereby
we pay twice for the same music to line the
coffers of the corrupt. Limp Biskit. u2. Moby.
Texas. Kelis. Pet Shop Boys. Ronan
Keating, Blink 182 (probably). INXS.
Morrissey. Blur. Suede. Stereophonics. New
Order. Leftfield. Henry Rollins. The Wonder
Stuff. Alabama 3, who released their second
album containing a hit single off their first
album, which you should own anyway, bolt-
ed onto the end. No One Is Fax Exempt.
Generally speaking, the material released
on these CD’s is sub b-side fodder. Crap
remixes they can’t farm out on bargain sin-
gles, boring reheated live material and other
leftovers scraped off the studio floor and
reprocessed like meat. Maybe, if you’re
lucky, some CD-ROM material of a crap
video in a grainy tiny window and a boring
interview with an inarticulate moronic musi-
cian. It’s not worth the entry fee.
Occasionally, this stuff is, if we’re lucky,
released the first week so that those of us
who actually look forward to buying records,
might get a little extra – if we like paying
more. Often though, as the album slides off
the charts, like a desperate man clinging to
the side of a sinking ship for a little longer, it
is reissued months later with ‘exclusive’
material to revitalise it through the sad devo-
tion of music fans.
What can be added. Special Edition means
that we are being exploited by businessmen
to fund their own mistakes. Go down the
road, boycott your HMV, and find your local
Grey Market importer. There the latest
12
Another sheet of rain hurled itself
from the sky at Dave as he walked
across the hill that campus was
built upon. Almost impossibly the
rain got heavier, as if the clouds
had decided to compete to see
which of them could drop the
greatest amount of water in the
least time possible.
Understandably, Dave had not
seen anyone else out. He occa-
sionally heard the distant splash-
ing of someone running through
the storm, but he had not seen a
soul this evening.
Dave made his way slow-
ly across campus, watching the
light dance in the puddles as he
walked by. Even though it was
raining hard and he was getting
soaked, he still walked. He didn’t
particularly want to reach his desti-
nation. He knew that when he got
there, it would be difficult to talk to
her about the things he wanted to
talk about. She had such a hold on
him; that he knew it would be hard
to break.
Dave had been going out
with Kelly for… well ever since
they were at Uni, three years in all.
Ever since that night at the end of
Freshers week, when they finally
got it together, after a week of the
most blatant flirting ever. In those
days their relationship had been
wild and intense, and had been
much the same until recently, the
passion and the turbulence calm-
ing down and settling into a lan-
guid complacency.
Things had changed. At
first, Kelly had always been ecstat-
ic to see him, even if it was only
briefly. There was always this
brightness in her eyes that he
loved. But it had gradually faded
until he hardly noticed it. Now, she
always seemed pleased to see
him, but the absence of that bright-
ness always squatted at the back
Parting by Stan Richards
of his mind, making him think oth-
erwise.
There were other things
as well. Little things, which at one
time had reassured Dave of her
love for him, but had now faded
away. She always used to pinch
his arse at the most embarrassing
times, giggling like a maniac as her
hand snapped back when he went
to gently swipe it away. The way
she always managed to sneak a
kiss into every conversation, seri-
ous or not. Just the way she used
to hug him whenever he was doing
anything, her arms snaking around
his waist and up to his chest while
her head moved onto his shoulder.
All these things had now
died away, leaving him feeling
insecure and helpless to do any-
thing about it. Maybe it was just
the way their relationship had pro-
gressed or maybe her love for him
had faded, withered and died and
she couldn’t bring herself to admit
it to his face. He wasn’t sure and
this insecurity scared the hell out
of him.
She’d never once said
that she loved him, Dave never
said it much himself, but she
always refused to say it on the
grounds that she said that he
should already know. But he was
never that sure. It stayed at the
back of his mind and plucked at his
conscious at inappropriate times.
All these little things stuck
in his head like needles, eroding
the very feelings he had for her
away, washing them away as eas-
ily as the dirt from his hands. It had
surprised him how fast it had
occurred, almost as fast as he fell
for her in the beginning. He had
tried to stop himself, but no matter
how much he tried, he invariably
found out that falling out of love
could happen just as easily as
falling in love. It annoyed him that
A Short Story
no matter what he did; like thinking
of all the great times they had and
what made him love her, he could-
n’t stop his feelings slipping away.
That’s why he was slowly
walking across the hill in the pour-
ing rain to end something that he
really didn’t want to end. That was
the root of his problem; he knew
that he didn’t love her anymore,
but he had moments where the
feelings flooded back into him and
he wondered why his feelings had
faded in the first place. But these
soon passed leaving him confused
as to how he actually felt about
her. This left him with the only sen-
sible choice, he had to leave her, it
was the only fair thing to do. He
didn’t want to hurt her or himself by
staying in a relationship that was
dying on its knees.
The introduction of
Beverley into the situation didn’t
help either. She was his best friend
and confidant, and she had turned
to him and said that she thought
she was falling in love with him.
They had bumped into each other
in the union in the early hours of a
Saturday morning a couple of
weeks ago, they were both very
drunk and she had turned to him
and just said it, sobering him
instantly. Ever since that night, he
had found himself wondering
about the possibility of just being
with Beverley. He was never quite
sure of the other feelings that were
developing for her, sometimes it
seemed to him that he was falling
for her, just so it gave him an
excuse, no, a reason for splitting
with Kelly. But then sometimes it
didn’t, and these feelings that were
rising inside him were a natural
course of events leading to a fated
end.
This, combined with the
things that had been happening
with Kelly, made Dave constantly
wonder whether he was doing the
right thing or not. It had been play-
ing on his mind for just over a
week and he had reached its cul-
mination twenty minutes ago. So
now he was finally going to act on
this conclusion.
He was nearly at Kelly’s
block and the rain was easing
slightly, but it didn’t matter now. He
had reached the point where he
could see into her room. Nothing
voyeuristic or anything, it was a
thing of there’s. Whenever Kelly
knew that he was coming over, she
used to wait at her window for him,
just to see him come down the
steps towards her block. She used
to rest her chin on her hands as
she leant on the sill; they always
used to watch each other as he
walked down the steps towards
her block. Now it was different, she
didn’t know he was coming and he
could see her through a gap in her
curtains. She was on the phone,
and laughing at something, her
hand was covering her mouth as
she giggled away at something.
Dave stood and just looked at her.
She looked so beautiful when she
laughed; she always looked beau-
tiful. He stood there just looking at
her, contemplating what he was
about to do, getting soaked. It was
then she put the phone down,
looked out the window and saw
him stood at the corner. She
opened her window.
‘What are you doing?
You’re getting soaked you fool!
Come inside!’ she smiled at him
and her eyes lit up like stars.
Dave walked down the
stairs to her flat’s front door, each
step echoing with the anxiety of
what was about to happen. When
he reached the front door a few
moments later, Kelly was there,
leaning against the open door,
smiling.
‘Hey darling, what are
doing out tonight? Why didn’t you
ring to tell me you were coming
over?’
‘I err… couldn’t get
through’
He leaned forward to kiss her, out
of force of habit, but she backed
away from him.
‘Urrgh! Keep away from
me! You’re all wet! Come on we’ll
get you dry.’
He followed her down the corridor
into her room, where she handed
him his towel that he kept there.
He took of his jacket and started to
dry his hair.
‘Kell, Do you love me?’
‘Why did you ask that
when you already know the
answer?’
‘Just, for once, tell me’
‘You I know that I only say
it occasionally so it means more
when I do say it’
‘You’ve never once told
me, Kelly’
‘What do you want me to
say, Dave? I love you. There I’ve
said it and it’s meant nothing.
Happy now?’
This made him stop for a second;
it wasn’t what he was expecting.
There was an awkward pause.
‘No Kelly, I’m not. I don’t
know what to do anymore.’
‘What do you mean you
don’t know what to do anymore?’
‘About us Kelly, I don’t
know what to do about us; it’s just
got too hard to do anything any-
more. I feel completely helpless
and alone and I don’t know what to
do.’
‘What are you trying to
say?’
Dave didn’t answer at first; he was
scared at how much he might hurt
her by saying those six little words.
He tried to think of a way of cush-
ioning the blow of what he was
about to tell her but he couldn’t
think and the words just tumbled
out of his mouth.
‘I think we should break
up’
She just stared at him for what
seemed like an eternity, just letting
01/02/01
the silence that had followed him
grow deafening.
‘Why?’
There was another awkward
pause.
‘I don’t love you anymore.
It just got too hard and the things
that we had have died. All that’s
keeping us together is the habit of
being together. It’ll make us resent
and hate each other if we don’t
break up. We’ve just got to admit
to ourselves that we’ve run our
natural course and that’s it. As
hard as it is to admit, we’ve got to
go our separate ways.’
‘Is there somebody else?’
‘No, god no, Of course
there isn’t. You should know me
better than that. In fact I can’t
believe that you thought I would do
that. What does it matter now, any-
way.’
‘I’m sorry, I just needed to
know.’
‘I still care for you enough
not to do that to you.’
‘So what are we going to
do?’
There was a long and awkward
silence after she said this, both of
them looking at each other trying
to find something to make it less
uncomfortable than it was. Dave
was the first person to speak.
‘Look, I think I best go;
there’s nothing else I can say
tonight. I don’t think we can say
much else’
Kelly looked up at him, tears were
streaming down her face.
‘Don’t leave me, Dave,
not now.’
‘I have to Kelly, It wouldn’t
be fair otherwise’
She walked him as far as the front
door where they hugged awkward-
ly before he stepped back out into
the night. It had been easier than
he thought it would be, which wor-
ried him. (Was it ever meant to be
easy?)
It was still raining hard
when he got out into the night, the
wind had picked up making the
noise of the rain get louder and
softer at random intervals. He
walked back up the steps contem-
plating what had happened tonight
and what was going to happen
next. At the top he turned round to
look at her window one last time,
she was stood there watching him
leave. Even from this distance he
could tell that she was still crying.
They looked at each other for what
seemed like the rest of the night,
and then he just turned and disap-
peared round the corner.
01/02/01
The Wareham Interview
by Luke Hickey
There's something about Fiona Wareham that
suggests she's going somewhere. As a perfect
professional she exuberates so much confidence
that even if you disagree with what she says, you
can't help but respect her.
It has been just over seven months into the job
for the Union President and so far she is happy
with her progress. "It's gone well so far, though
slightly up and down sometimes. Nothing pre-
pares you for the job, even being Union
Chairperson. The job is much more like real life
than many people realize, you have your one
month change over with last year's sabbs, but on
the 1st July is entirely over to you."
Two months into her reign saw one of the worst
months any president in living memory has had to
face. A perfect catch-22 situation where the union
were on the verge of bankruptcy and therefore
needed every penny it could get against the
protests over the high drink prices. "After the rel-
atively quiet period of July and August,
September was by far the hardest I have had to
face in the job. We (the sabbs) spent most of our
time solving these various problems, and a great
deal of this was helped by employing Bob
(Anderson - USSU Interim General Manager). By
October the situation was a great deal healthier
and we managed to temporarily drop the price of
Carling to £1 a pint as a thank you for the loyalty
students showed us."
The £1 a pint didn't last for ever and eventually
the price went back up to £1.59, a fact which var-
ious posters around campus made reference to.
"Good luck to them," she says with a wry smile,
"They're right the price of Carling is now more
expensive than just before Christmas. However,
the price drop was only short term and I'm proud
that draught products across the board are now
cheaper than when I came to university
(September 1997)."
Another problem facing the president in
September was that B*Witched were booked to
appear at the week 3 FNO, traditionally one of the
busiest of the year with large numbers of freshers
wanting their first big experience of the union. The
event flopped, with only about 600 students pay-
ing the £13 to see the Irish quartet. "That was
nothing to do with me, the band were booked by
my predecessor (Ben Davis). I don't think I would
ever book a band for any future academic year; it
has to be up to the people in charge at the time.
If any big named band now wished to come to
Sabbatical Interviews 13
USSU then the decision would rest in the hands The Westwell Files
of the Arts & Entertainment Committee"
by Ali Danby
Student Union relations with Senate House are
often strained to say the least but Fiona radiates
Briefly outline what your sabbatical
pride when she describes the current one as "fan-
position involves.
tastic". "It's great that there is such a good rela-
Anything and everything! I deal with
tionship, it gives us a voice and helps change
students who have grievances, com-
things we don't like, but we are still 100% behind
plaints or problems with their course. I
students."
am a voice for students who have prob-
Despite all the negative aspects to the job,
lems they need help with and don't
Fiona has still loved every minute of it and looks
know who to turn to. Welfare issues I
forward to being able to reflect on all the memo-
have to deal with are such things as
ries. "The best part of the job is that I can interact
NUS campaigns and meningitis aware-
with loads of different people: staff, students,
ness. I also organise the training of
locals and businesspeople." She said how she
senior residents. Basically I am a
really loved the experience of working on bf for
friendly face with an open door.
the first couple of weeks. "I would like to still be
involved but there is an editorial team, so it's up to
What have been some of the high- Student safety around campus must
them really. I had a personal problem with a cou-
lights of the year so far in your job? be one of your main concerns. How
ple of articles and wouldn't have let them through
It was very satisfying when the senior are you trying to improve the situa-
if I was editor but we do realize that it is a paper
residents training went well and of tion?
for the students and as such wide ranging views
course knocking down beer prices was Street lighting on campus , especial-
should be accommodated."
obviously a highlight. Just being able to ly over Yorkies Bridge has been
So to the future, and Fiona has still many goals
make a difference is great. improved with help from the local bor-
she wishes to attain. "I want to continue rebuilding
the commercial side of the union with Bob; it had ough council. This should deter any
What have been the worst experi- potential attackers and reassure stu-
got to a low point before I started. Bob is a fan-
ences so far? dents that they are safe. Security have
tastic asset; we really work well together. I hope to
Long hours! There is a continuous printed leaflets to make students aware
continue with the working parties for long-term
pile of paper on my desk to get through of how to be safe and are available to
strategies and are soon going to be initiating
and never enough hours in the day to all students now. I also make sure that
some community action projects with Susie
do it all. The job was hard at first the minibuses run smoothly to and from
(Westwell) and Anna (Stone). I also want to work
because there was such a negative Cindy's and Hazel farm.
with the library to sort out opening hours and work
feeling about the union.
towards long-term structures for the union. My
What problems have you come up
one main goal is that no future years of sabbs are
Do you ever regret becoming a sab- against in your job so far?
put in the same position as we were at the begin-
batical officer? It's frustrating when tasks that have
ning of the year."
Never, its the best thing I've ever done! required a lot of time and effort go
unnoticed. Trying to lower beer prices
You often hear people say that being was hard as there were lots of hurdles
a sabbatical officer is not a proper to get over but we succeeded in the
job. How much work do you have to end. I have to remember that it is
do? impossible to please everyone.
I sit on 15 committees which takes up
an awful lot of my time as I have to read What qualities have you gained from
the notes before each meeting. Most doing the job so far?
things I do I do off my own back like I have become much better at public
campaigns and helping with rag week. speaking and have found the confi-
You make the job what it is. You could dence to voice my opinion. Being a
do the bare minimum or you could work sabbatical officer has definitely made
90 hours a week, it just depends how me more ambitious and has helped me
motivated you are. I might get 10 stu- to decide that I would like to work with
dents coming to me with problem in people and not have a mundane office
one week and have to research and job when I leave here.
deal with each one which takes a lot of
time and effort.

The Marston Files
by Tom Sugarman
What initially appealed to you about the Communication
& Marketing sabbatical position?
It evolved from writing for Barefacts really. I'd written arti-
cles for BF in the 1st year & in the 2nd year I became Music
Editor. I also enjoyed the production and lay up side. I was
'No Wave' chairperson for 2 years and so had experience of
organising and administering a society. I progressively got
more involved in university affairs and I began to attend stu-
dent council meetings. I really love life at Surrey so I thought
as a sabb I could make a worthwhile contribution.
Relations between certain societies & Barefacts haven't
always been harmonious. Would you in hindsight have
edited or pulled any articles e.g. those that provoked the
fury of the C.U?
No, but such decisions are difficult. For example, as long
as no laws are broken and the union constitution is upheld,
the editorial board, that is myself, Luke Hickey (dep ed) and
the section ed would run the article. However, clearly some
opinion pieces may provoke an extreme response such as
the article on Christianity but there were Christians on the
editorial board who thought the article should run.
What I think is most important though is the right to reply
either for readers with contradictory opinions or for the orig-
inal author to further justify his opinions. There have been
some articles though that have been pulled, notably one on
security.
Does it disappoint you the lack of people interested in
contributing to BF. What advice would you give the next
BF editor in encouraging contribution, especially as one
of your manifesto aims was to generate participation in
student media?
I wouldn't say I'm disappointed as BF has more writers
than last year. Some people are under the misconception One of your mani-
that you need to be part of some elite to write for the paper festo aims was to pro-
but this is not the case at all. Any student can write for the mote the university
paper. To encourage participation in student media I have within the local com-
offered people the chance to write an article for the end of munity. What have
semester magazine. I'd advise the next editor of BF simply you done to achieve
to talk to people and be seen around campus to encourage this pledge?
involvement. There has been a lot
of progress in building
One of your manifesto aims was to produce a semester up relations with local
magazine for placement students. What has delayed the c o m m u n i t y .
launch of this publication? Commercial relations
Unfortunately, due to a lack of finance it hasn't been pos- have developed with
sible to publish a semester magazine for placement stu- Gateway and the
dents. As an alternative I've introduced regular e-mail bul- Odeon cinema. Particularly good relations have been fos-
letins and information through the USSU website. I have tered with the Odeon, where listings are a regular feature of
encouraged, through this, placement students to give me a Barearts and whose special events have been a BF feature
mailing address for them to receive Sab' election forms. such as last year's London Film Festival tour.
I was going to hold a talk at Guildford College about
You aimed in your manifesto to create GU2 radio sta- Newspaper production and editing but this unfortunately
tion. What have been the problems that have delayed coincided with the 1000th edition of BF and has been post-
the launch of GU2? poned.
The delayed launch of GU2 has arisen from the take-over
of the company that was due to install the aerials. Not sur- Finally, would you recommend becoming
prisingly money, once again, has also been a factor in the Communication and Marketing sabbatical to your fellow
delay but rest assured GU2 will launch in February! students?
Yes, I'd certainly recommend being Communication and
You aimed in your manifesto to generate more union Marketing sabbatical to anyone who really loves the Union
participation especially from minority interests. To what and student life. It is very time consuming and can be very
extent have you been successful in achieving this? tiring. It is good fun but like all jobs there are frustrating days.
I haven't been as successful as I would have wished. I Barefacts forms a big part of the job which entails plenty of
would have liked regular contributions from international time sat in front of the computer. Because you become so
students. Some people have said they would contribute but involved with union life it can be difficult to have a life outside
this has not materialised. However, there has been some the Union. However, the reason anyone stands for a sab-
successes such as the LGB article before Xmas and there batical's job in the first place is because they want to make
have been some successful International student societies a positive contribution to the Union so this shouldn't be a
events e.g. the recent Hellenic Society event at the HRB. problem.
14 Sabbatical Interviews cont 01/02/01

The Big The Lucy Andrews

Mac Files File
by Chops by James Buller

Ben has been Lucy Andrews's is your girl

the Vice for any activities relating to
President for societies and improving the
Sports for the culture around campus. She
last one and a was the first to take the new
half years having Societies & Culture
been re-elected Sabbatical position when
nearly a year elected last year. Her pleas-
ago. Having ant and strongly pragmatic
been involved approach came across in the
with Sabbatical answers to her interview:
team (being quick, clipped and to the
good friends with point.
Tom Sherwin (VP She began by recalling her
Communications desire at the start of the year:
1998-1999) ) "make some people happy,
before his first keep the good work done so
year, he had a far and take it further.
good idea of Freshers Fair was cool" she
what is involved beamed.
involved in this fateful error). Now she feels the Union's
so things have been much as
The reason that it took a while to societies are "multitudinous,
expected.
think of this is that he is usually sociable, fun and active." policy. Maybe we could ness and commercial law
Although he is prevented from
able to correct mistakes with fix- Culture is also "thriving, var- replace it with a 'diversity knowledge too."
standing for a third year by the
tures before they become a prob- ied and multinational". She statement', like some other Lucy describes her working
constitution, he would do so if it
lem. proudly said that nine interna- places do". "I've also got to environment with the other
was allowed. This is because he
When asked if there is anyone tional, departmental and gen- organise two more induction Sabbaticals as "stressful yet
has enjoyed his time here
decent lined up for the job next eral societies have been programs for the new intake sociable while still at each
although he feels the pay is not
year he says that there is but formed since September. of postgraduates and nurses" other's throats!" "Hopefully
enough due to the amount of
does not elaborate any further in "There's a lot of activity in the she continued. All this is writ- we'll be passing on a better
extra time that is spent over the
order to prevent influencing the Postgraduate Association ten on her large 'Done' and ship this time" she said, refer-
and above that contracted in
upcoming elections. too" she added. "I got an 'To Do' lists hanging over her ring to the financial crises the
order to get everything done. If
His top tip for whoever gets in excellent review from them. desk. team has had to deal with this
he was paid by the hour he
is to argue lots and prepare to They gave a me a fluffy star to So much for the achieve- year.
would be a happy man.
have no personal time giving the say thanks for helping them." ments, how about Lucy her- What next then for the
He currently has no plans for
example that he had been help- Thinking of the other self? Why did she originally woman who wore THAT
the future and is not considering
ing people move out of sewage Sabbaticals she said, "We want the Sabbatical job? "I nurse's outfit at Fetish Night?
being involved in any repeats of
flooded accommodation in the also jumped into help RAG had been involved with the "I'd absolutely love to do it
the streaking that the Rugby
early hours of Saturday. because there was only a Union since my 1st year," she over again!" she cried. "I
Club inflicted on everyone at the
In the next year Ben would like couple of people involved". said. "I'd always chatted to would want to take another
Colours Ball a couple of years
to see Surrey teams win a few Presently Lucy is occupied people a lot and been socia- sabbatical year but I just can't
ago.
more trophies as he has seen with organising one of the ble in the Union mould." "I afford it! I want to stay in
Ben’s best achievement was
the teams built up over the last Union's biggest cultural think I brought continuity to Guildford. It feels like home
keeping sport afloat last year
few years and believes they are events. "A successful the job, an open door and an after being here for 4 years."
while most of the rest of the
strong enough. International Week will make organised filing system. I also "I'll get done all the things I
union was up shit creek. While
Within the next ten years he me a happy bunny," she said. made the office colourful and wanted to do" Lucy conclud-
other areas were overdrawn, the
would like to get lots of money She is also finalising the new filled it with fluffy toys!" ed. Indeed with her practical
sports budgets came in at about
(by any means) and spend it all 'Music Society'. "We're cutting "Doing the job I've learnt and organised methods
£5000 into the green.
on himself. Sounds like a good down from over 8 budget lines how to do a million things at together with her very
After a long think, he decided
plan to me. and sounds to 3" she once, as well as making work amenable personality, it is
that his worst mistake was
On behalf of everyone who has explained. for myself. I reckon my geog- very hard to doubt that asser-
agreeing to have B*Witched on
been involved in sport for the last In her remaining 5 months raphy has improved along tion.
in the Union last year (it should
couple of years I would like to Lucy hopes to "investigate the with my people and memory
be noted that Ben would not
thank Ben for all his work with Union's equal opportunities skills. I now have more busi-
have been the only person

The MacKenzie Report aside, I asked Luke what the other

by Reuben Thompson
It’s fair to say that USSU finance sab-
batical Luke Mackenzie didn’t pick the
easiest of years in which to take on the
finance job. Last year’s deficit of over
two hundred thousand pounds left him
in an almost impossible position at the
beginning of this year. “My biggest
achievement”, he tells us, “is that the
union will survive this year financially”.
But despite this, does he enjoy the job?
“Of course! It’s hard work, but it’s worth
it”
Asked what the hardest part of his job
was he replied “The 24x7 access is the
hardest part. Take last night [the night of
the sewage problem in Guildford Court]
as a prime example. I was up almost all
night sorting accomodation for students.
The job has two parts— the finance
part, and being a sabbatical in general.”
Responsibilities and necessities
achievements he thought most impor-
tant of the first half of his tenure, and
what we could look forward to before
the end of the year. “Well, we got GU2
its funding in three months after more
than four years of fuss. And hopefully
the structure for the funding of societies
and clubs will improve greatly. That and
we now have reports out in one week—
that was down to the whole sabatical
team though.”
Finally, I asked Luke what he thought
he had gained so far from his job here in
the union. “Well, I’ve gained experience
personally, and hopefully am now more
employable as a result. I went for this
job not only because I wanted to do it,
but also because there were things I
wanted to change about the union. I
think I can do that.”
containing barefacts history, how it all begun,
& music of the past 33 years
16
Barefacts - The Wonder Years
by Ali Danby & Ellen van Keulen
Archivists
The first edition of Barefacts as we know
it was a flimsy piece of paper that was cre-
ated in September 1968. From then on
Barefacts has never looked back and has
continued to flourish!
The ideal that is Barefacts was actually
conceived in April 1968 by students at the
Battersea site. When the University split into
two sites and half the students moved to
Guildford production continued in the form
of two separate papers. However the
Battersea paper only managed a feeble two
issues before collapsing.
Barefacts hasn’t always been the way we
know it now, in fact in the late 60s early 70s
Barefacts could have been mistaken for a
top shelf blue magazine. The first nude pic-
ture to appear on the cover was seen in
issue 33 and a mere two issues later
Barefacts was nearly sued by Playboy for
publishing cartoons taken from their publi-
cation. This wasn’t the only controversy
created by Barefacts that year. Issue 36
contained an article about quality, or lack of
it, of the food in the newly opened library
restaurant, now known as Rushes. This
caused such a hullabaloo that the staff
walked out. Unfortunately nothing’s
changed.
By 1973 Barefacts was a staggering 12
pages with a circulation of 2,300. Much to
the despair of the male members of the cur-
rent editorial team, full frontal nudes had to
be removed in order to fall in line with Union
policy. Two years later it was voted by the
GM that Barefacts should be run by an
elected editorial board.
Over the years all editors of Barefacts
bf history 01/02/01
have faced common problems, not in the
least the lack of campus news and lack of
students to report what little there is. The
submission of articles to Barefacts has
always been a stumbling block. In 1989 it
was boasted that “most of the articles are
now sent by electronic mail, although some
people still suffer from ‘computer fright’ and
insist on sending stuff through on tatty bits
of paper” and nothings changed!
It wasn’t however until 1993 that the posi-
tion of communications officer was created.
Until this time Barefacts was edited by des-
perate students who had to try and squeeze
in writing, editing and laying up between lec-
tures. At the time the readers were assured
that the content of the paper would not be
affected by the regulation of a union sabbat-
ical.
Barefacts has not always been loved in
fact readers were encouraged to put their
copy of the paper in the “bins in the union
and all court receptions”. It was later dis-
covered that this was promoted by
Barefacts in order to get readers to recycle
the paper and should only take place after
you had read it.
The last entry in our review of the wonder
years of Barefacts is the note worthy occur-
rence of the change in size and style of the
paper. Before 1997 Barefacts was an A4
sized mag compared with today’s informa-
tive tabloid newspaper. Barefacts has
evolved from a single one page flimsy
newssheet to the current, well-established
16-20-page student newspaper that it is
today. However Barefacts can only contin-
ue to go from strength to strength with your
help and support, so please keep reading
and if you fancy it bloody well write some-
thing too!
01/02/01 bf old news 17

Have we got old news for you?

Have we got old news for you? … well actually yes we have

So here's a round up of the best stories from the last 1000 issues, the highs the lows, the scandal and the
propaganda.

Britain's First Amateur Herbs For You

Satellite Bare Facts
Bare Facts Issue 189
Issue 345 26/04/74
16/02/79
An article about a selection of herbs
Britain's first amateur space satellite grown in the university grounds describ-
is to be built at the University of ing the characteristics of common gar-
Surrey. den herbs and their uses. The range of
herbs grown for public use were bay,
The project is being co-ordinated by sage, parsley, lavender, rue, heart-
the Telecommunications Research sease, mint, verbena, and rosemary.
Group within the Department of
Electronic and Electrical A definitive guide to weed growing, not
Engineering. It is being carried out
in close collaboration with the University's Electronics and Amateur
Radio Society (EARS), the Amateur Satellite Organization of the UK
(AMSAT-UK) and the Radio Society of Great Britain. Active support
is being given by Britain's electronics, telecommunications and
space industries.

AMSAT has been responsible for 8 previous amateur satellites in the

OSCAR series (Orbiting Satellites Carrying Amateur Radio). These
have been built internationally by radio amateurs in the USA,
Germany, Canada, Japan and Australia, and their function has been
to relay VHF and UHF radio signals, extending the range of trans-
missions by amateur radio enthusiasts. Each has been given a
"Piggy Back" launch by NASA when space was available in launch
vehicles, because of their educational value.

The spacecraft, which will be constructed mostly at the University, is

intended for a polar orbit at a height of 900km. The cost is expect-
ed to be around £150 000.

It's dull but its history

Shop Committee Meeting

Bare facts
Issue 157
04/05/73
Price check on Tesco and the university shop. Over the years Barefacts has changed dramactically in its
views of student life, with it’s political stances, and in its tastes
Uni shop Tesco of the unusual.
Barefacts has always found its own niche in the newspaper
Weetabix, small 9p 8 world though, with articles like the Millbank Tapes. The article
Cornflakes 10 9 written by the Editor at the time, Matthew Pannel, exposed the
½ lb Anchor butter 12 ½ 11 ½ fact that the Labour spokesperson at a recent student journal-
Bourbon biscuits 9 (5 ½) 7 ist conference before the general election of that year (1998)
Digestive biscuits 7 (5 ½) 6 briefed students that they would not have to pay tuition fees.
Marmite, small 10 9 All kinds of articles have graced the pages of Barefacts over
Colgate toothpaste 14 13 the years, some of them being displayed below. Barefacts
Potatoes, 3 lbs 7 6 even had its own art pages (see left).
Tin peas, 10 oz 5½ 5 If you want to look at any of the old barefacts just pop into
Ariel 26 25 the office.
Nescafe, 2 oz 17 16
Eggs, std/large 15/16 14/15 Compiled by Ali Danby & Ellen van Keulen
Baked beans, 7 ½ oz 5 (4) 4

What the hell were they complaining about?

20
Rob Winder takes a look at the
coverage of music in the first
1000 issues of Barefacts and
picks some highlights of gigs at
the Union and recommends an
album from each year since the
paper was founded.
Students at Surrey are fortunate to
have a weekly publication that keeps
them informed about the activities in
the Union. As with many Universities
the Student's Union is the centre of
musical life at the University, and
over the years this has certainly
been the case for Surrey.
Since its early issues as a newslet-
ter, Barefacts has informed students
'Guildford University
about the varied musical events in
the Union. More in depth coverage
of music in Barefacts has been spo-
radic over the years. Until the 80s
the musical content of Barefacts was
little more than previews of shows at
the Union and reviews of the records
never represented
from artists performing in the Union.
There have been attempts to devel-
op a more complete music section in
the paper over the years, but they
never came to fruition until Steeeeve
French took over as music editor in
1994. Steeeeve is probably respon-
Guildford. We hate
sible for starting the music section
as we now know it, and began its
transformation into one of the most
popular sections of the paper. The
changes which Steeeeve brought in
were not without problems: following
playing to elitist
an article which gave a less than
favourable account of University
band Redwood, the band took phys-
ical action to let Steeeeve know they
were not happy.
Fortunately, things have been
smoother for music editors since
audiences, so fuck
then; it is far easier to dismiss an
irate press officer on the phone than
to face the band in person.
Looking back through Barefacts, it
is obvious that in the past the Union
used to be one of the main stop off
points for artists as they toured the
off'. Hugh Cornwell.
UK. Bands have performed under
the Union banner in the Hall, the
main Union room and the lower bar
as well as in the campus amphithe-
atre.
Over the years the Union has pre-
sented some of the all time biggest
names in music to artists who could
well have been forgotten a week
after they played here.
The New Yardbirds
At the time of the early Barefacts
issues in 1968, progressive rock,
folk and jazz were the offerings on
the musical menu.
In October 1968 (people seem to
disagree on the exact date, but the
15th is the likeliest choice), one of
the Union's most famous gigs took
place when Jimmy Page's 'new'
Yardbirds, having completed a brief
Scandinavian tour, performed for the
first time under the name with which
they became infamous - Led
Zeppelin.
It is not known what BareFacts had
to say about the show as someone
has foolishly lost part of the archive,
however, reports from the time sug-
gest 'Led Zeppelin played to an
enthusiastic crowd that at first
seemed a little overwhelmed by the
sheer volume the four members pro-
duce while onstage'. The band
mixed songs from their forthcoming
bf music reflection
Musical Union
debut album with some Yardbirds
songs and a 'blistering' cover of
Willie Dixon's "I Can't Quit You
Baby". The bands self-penned
"Communication Breakdown" and
"How Many More Times" were
picked as highlights of the show.
Page was obviously the attraction
for the audience yet 'seasoned ses-
sion musician John Paul Jones pro-
vided solid bass and keyboard
duties while lesser knowns Robert
Plant (vocals) and John Bonham
(drums) both added their unique and
impressive styles to the group's
sound'. The unknown writer
summed up the show with an accu-
rate prediction, 'judging from the
reaction of the young crowd, most of
them Surrey University students,
Led Zeppelin seems to be on the
right track and may just be the next
British music export to enjoy interna-
tional success'.
Late 60s / Early 70s
David Bowie played two shows at
the Union. The first at the Guildford
Arts Festival in March 69 as part of
the mime troupe Feathers. One year
later Bowie took time out from his
'new electric band' The Hype to per-
form a solo show at the Union.
Tickets were 10 Shillings (50p).
In June 70 the Barefacts preview of
the Free Festival described a 'local
group of progressive style - both
light and heavy music' that was
scheduled to appear as the second
band of the day. There are no
reports as to whether Genesis
turned up or not.
The Free Festival was a regular fix-
ture on the Ents calendar. Usually in
late June, after exams, the festivals
were a day long showcase for local
and campus bands.
In the early seventies the Folk Club
was also attracting big names to
campus. Richard Thompson and
Linda Peters, who later married,
leading lights of the British folk
scene performed a couple of times.
As did Gordon Giltrap, Ewan
MacColl, Ralph McTell, Christy
Moore and Jasper Carrot, whose
performance was filmed by the BBC
but never shown.
It was not just the leading folk
artists of the time, the list of progres-
sive rock acts that performed at the
Union reads like a who's who of the
genre: Caravan, supported by
Hawkwind, Gentle Giant, Van Der
Graaf Generator supported by
Lindisfarne, Gong, Magma and
Barclay James Harvest.
The 71-72 academic year started
with a bang when The Who per-
formed. BareFacts mentioned the
gig taking place but little more,
indeed the show does not appear on
The Who's web concert listing
despite their being photographs of
the event in existence.
Punk vs Elitists
By 1978 punk has shaken the music
business to its core. On 11 October
1978, the most infamous incident in
the history of music at the Union
occurred. The Stranglers were
booked to play the Union by the
BBC as part of its Rock Goes To
College series. The band had been
assured that half the tickets for the
show were made available to their
fans in town. This had not hap-
pened. After two or four songs,
reports vary, Stranglers frontman
Hugh Cornwell asked if the audience
was from Guildford or from the
University. When it became obvious
that very few of the crowd were from
Guildford the band walked off, but
only after Hugh said his piece:
'Guildford University never repre-
sented Guildford. We hate playing to
elitist audiences, so fuck off'. The
BBC did not show the film until its
Sounds of the Seventies series in
1992. At the Union GM the following
week a motion was heard to ban
The Stranglers from the Union and
ask other Unions to do the same.
The BBC arranged a replacement
show in February 1979 with the
Average White Band.
The punk era also saw Daily Mail
like knee-jerk outrage in the
Barefacts letters page at punk
antics. After a Skids show there had
been some vandalism on campus
which was blamed on 'punks' attend-
ing the show. It is notable however
that further vandalism occurred over
the following weeks when there
were no punk shows.
Also making headlines in 79 was
the Metal for Muthas tour in May,
which featured up and coming
NWOBHM acts Samson, Iron
Maiden and Toad the Wet Sprockett.
Livin' in the 80s
The free Sunday night band shows,
which started in the 70s, ran along-
side the paid entry shows. The Folk
and Jazz Clubs continued to present
shows and were joined in the eight-
ies by No-Wave, Soul Club and the
Blues and Rock societies. More than
ever live music was apart of campus
life.
A variety of famous and not-so
famous names passed across the
Union stage in the eighties:
Marillion; The Men They Couldn't
Hang; Dr and the Medics; The
Higsons led Charlie Higson who
went on to fame and fortune in the
Fast Show;The Pogues; Eddie and
the Hot Roads; The Christians sup-
ported by Danny Wilson; The Mighty
Lemon Drops; Cutting Crew - a
show of which BareFacts noted 'at
least the 14 year olds enjoyed it';
The Mission; King Kurt; Robyn
Hitchcock and the Egyptians; The
Levellers, firstly as a Sunday Night
Bans and then returning for a paid
entry show; The Shamen; the House
of Love and China Crisis. In 89 Right
Said Fred performed their
'Proclaimers-like' songs. This was
before their kitsch make-over and
chart success. They returned to the
university in 96.
End of a Century
As the 90s started the Jazz club had
disappeared but the other clubs kept
supporting live music alongside the
Union Ents.
January 90 saw No-Wave present
a sold out Ride show in the lower
bar. Bare facts reported that there
were 'people trying to get in through
the windows'. Later that year the
Manic Street Preachers supported
long-forgotten, crusty-types Ruff
Ruff and Ready. The Manics
returned early in 91 supported by
Dodgy.
By the mid-90s the only societies
putting on bands were No-Wave and
01/02/01
Folk Club. The Union continued to
host popular shows:
Menswear;Heather Nova; Salad;
Appollo 440 - Barefacts reports that
they left the crowd 'cold'; Fluke and
Lush. The return of the Senseless
Things in February 95 had queues
around the building and was a rap-
turously received show.
In 95-96 Alan Duthie Roy became
the Ents sabbatical, by his second
semester in the job the Union pre-
sented a good line-up of bands:
Gomez, Ocean Colour Scene, 60 Ft
Dolls, Baby Bird, China Drum, Jesus
Jones and Jocasta.
No-Wave were fortunate enough to
present Kula Shaker in February 96,
just before Chris Evans picked up on
the band and they exploded to suc-
cess.
In 96-97 the Ents sabbatical posi-
tion was dropped and replaced by
the Ents manager, with Alan contin-
uing the job he had started as a
sabb the year before. Interviewed in
Barefacts at the time he said there
would always be a place on stage at
the Union for his favourite band -
David Devant and His Spirit Wife.
They have played here several
times since.
One of the first gigs under the new
regime was from former-
Wonderstuff frontman Miles Hunt's
new band Vent 414. Their sub-Pixies
wannabe-grunge was not well
received by the audience.
The 96-97 academic year saw the
Folk Club change its name to
Unplugged - a few years late for the
MTV inspired name to have rele-
vance, the name changed again this
year to Live.
In recent years a couple of the
Sunday night bands have gone onto
greater success: Moloko and the
Dum Dums. Maybe last weeks'
Dimestars will be the next.
No Future?
Recent years have seen the decline
of the free Sunday night band. In the
past bands appeared every Sunday
night, now it seems that there are
more Sunday's without bands.
Sunday bands always used to have
support bands, but this has not been
the case in recent years. There are
letters in Barefacts from people
complaining when support bands
failed to appear and the perennial
problem of gig attendances also
raises its head from time to time.
Many of the bands that played the
Union for a free Sunday show later
returned with a larger crowd for paid
shows. Recently there has also
been a total eradication of paid gigs
at the Union.
The lack of bands appearing is is
certainly not for a lack of bands look-
ing for venues - there are now con-
siderably less venues in the country.
The problem appears to come from
the students-only policy that prevails
in the Union which makes the venue
less attractive to bands. It is notable
that gigs in the 70s and 80s gigs at
the Union were open to non-stu-
dents and were often well attended.
The Union was a regular stop off
point for up and coming bands as
well as more established acts as it
was, and is, the only venue of its
size in the area.
01/02/01
Past Editor Interviews
Ever wondered how bf has changed over the
years, well we have, and three of the old
fogies in the team (Kev, Luke and James)
went out in search of answers by interviewing
four previous editors.
Name: Trish Horwood (editor 1980-1981)
Age: 39
Job(s) since leaving Surrey: Bummed around France for a
year, then spent 6 years working for publishers, 4 for a psy-
chologist publisher and 2 for academic publishers. Took a num-
ber of years off to have children and is now, with her husband,
running her own business, a fax and internet service for car
manufacturers
Did bf help you in getting any jobs? Definitely, bf got me the
first job. At the time there was a deep depression and most stu-
dents were struggling to get a job after graduating. My experi-
ence with bf gave me that something extra which made me
more employable.
What was your favorite story? There was a large number of
big issues during my time on the paper. The campus was a
great deal more political then, with around two thirds being con-
servative in persuasion. Rents had risen alarmingly and there
was a student sit-in protest, which eventually won the day.
There were also large-scale gay rights demonstrations. So
overall I didn’t have one favorite story, instead I was lucky
enough to have many very good topics that we could cover.
Were there any stories that you could not print at the time
but would have liked you? We tried not to give anybody out-
side the bf team any editorial control. This was generally done
by printing the paper before anybody outside the team could
read it. Back in those days, however, we (students) were
expected to be radical and could get away with more than you
can today.
What did you achieve in bf over your editorial reign? I
fought long and hard to bring the paper up to the times.
Eventually I got a word processor, a godsend at the time as
before we were doing everything manually.
How would you describe your bf? We had a team of about
fifteen, including three whose sole role was to be printers. I also
had about three reporters, a theatre critic, sports reporters and
typists. We used to walk round campus at 2am on a
Wednesday morning delivering the papers by hand and some
people used to come along for that on its own.
How did bf change over your time at Surrey Uni? The paper
changed in its style, with more of an emphsis being placed on
what students were interested in reading, which basically
meant putting in more campus news. As editor I just tried to
make the paper as widely readable as possible, perhaps an
attempt to work against apathy. With the depression, I also tried
to devote some space to careers.
Were there any stories which the university or union really
objected? We ran a story about how the accommodation office
was really badly run, and how the rents were too high. The uni-
versity hated that one.
How did you get your news? We just had feelers out for sto-
ries, people regularly asking all the departments, Senate
House, security and students. There was very little happening
that we didn’t know about.
What made you want to become editor? I really enjoyed
working on the paper and enjoyed writing. The chance to take
the role came up and I fancied it, a case of the right place the
right time.
What skills do you feel you brought to the role? I felt I was
a great motivator of people, the most important skill an editor
can bring.
What was you specialty as a reporter? I was very good at
political reporting, either nationally, in the union, at lectures. I
was good at getting information.
by Luke Hickey
Past Editors Interviews
Name: Melanie Dean (editor 1996-1997)
Age: 27
Job(s) had since leaving Surrey? One year as Assistant
Media Consultant for Royal Economic Society writing press
releases and organising conferences. Two and a half years at
Unilever working in Market Research on Flora and now on PG
Tips
Did BF help you get the job(s) or guide you towards it?
Helped me with my first job but it was my degree that got me
into market research
How has the BF experience and skills you gained from it
helped you since? Managing budgets, people, meeting tight
deadlines. Negotiating with people, in particular, more senior
colleagues. The high level of responsibility at the Students’
Union helped me get promotion into my current role
What was your favourite/best/worst story? Favourite arti-
cles were the ones by Liz M
What stories could you not print at the time (why?) but that
you could hint at now? Did print an article on drugs and how
to use them safely but I had a mixed response to the article.
Why some people thought it was helpful others thought BF was
promoting the use of drugs – that was not its intention
How would you describe BF when you first joined (either
under your predecessor or as a writer)? Newsworthy paper
concentrating on hard facts and student issues. The BF team
had been working together for some time so I was able to learn
a lot from the current working team
What did you want to achieve with BF during your year and
did you succeed? I set myself a target to make the paper self
funding within 3 years. The paper was given a budget from the
students’ union and I felt that by making it financially independ-
ent students would be able to see it as a student paper rather
than a students’ union paper. Also it meant that the money
saved could be ploughed back into the union and used for other
things. By the end of my year I had increased advertising rev-
enue by 30% to ensure that BF only spent £10,000 of the
£16,500 budget. I discussed my ideas with my successor, Matt,
and he was keen to continue with the target. I don’t how things
have gone since!
How would you describe BF at the end of your year? Much
more of a magazine with articles on student life, activities and
music and less on news. Really good music and sports pages
that the editors worked really hard on over the year. A few of the
old crew stayed on which was great. The music editor set up a
team of writers behind him which worked really well
Was there anything that you could not achieve in your
year, why not? A weekly paper meant that deadlines were
always tight. I would have liked more time to work on more in
depth articles
What was the best/worst crisis/cock-up/typo during your
year? My computer crashed at 11.30pm on Wednesday night
as I was printing the final version to take to the printers in the
morning, I lost a whole weeks work and didn’t see any way I
could redo it in time. I cancelled the paper for the week with
huge apologies to the students. I got severely slated at the GM
that week about not working through the night to get the paper
out but it was not possible, my computer hard drive had to be
rewritten! The positive thing that came out of this was that my
PC got upgraded and I was able to buy a new software pack-
age that meant the design of the paper could be improved.
How did you balance BF vs. Union vs. University alle-
giances (e.g. sensitive stories and time spent working on
BF)? I was very keen to make sure it was a students’ paper and
not a union paper. My only restriction was to make sure it was-
n’t liable – anything else I felt should be printed. On the whole
the other sabbs agreed with what I did however it is a shame
that the majority of these types of articles highlighted the nega-
tive rather than positive aspects of life at Surrey.
How did you get content for BF? Recruited loads of students
at freshers fair and refreshers fair. Many people just sent in ad
hoc work which was great, getting fresh voices and opinions
kept the paper interesting.
How did you want the editorial team to work - and did it?
The subeditors had a team of writers behind them and we had
21
editor meetings once a week to discuss themes. Most of the
content was left up to them; it was their paper and that left me
time to concentrate on getting some advertising for the paper.
What other successes did you have as a sabbatical (rather
than as BF editor)? We had a demonstration/strike day organ-
ised by Sharon Baker (President) to highlight our ‘unhappiness’
about the introduction of tuition fees. All days we had events
running in the union and we had the local radio and TV inter-
view us.
How has BF changed since your first year up to the pres-
ent day, and do you approve of the changes? ‘Manoj says
Bollox’ was the first headline I remember reading. BF was mas-
sive; everyone picked up their copy Friday morning and read it
in the lecture – even if it was only to find out the gossip in the
personals
Where should BF go now? I am as guilty as any of the
Communications Officers for trying to put my mark on the
paper. At the end of the day it is the students’ paper and must
reflect their ideals and values.
Why did you want to become BF editor? It was a bet with a
friend that I think I won! I really enjoyed reading the paper and
wanted an opportunity to contribute, something I hadn’t done as
a student
What do you feel you brought to the position? Fresh/con-
troversial ideas. Money
What skills + experience did you have before taking the
position (including BF experience, if any)?
No BF experience. I had worked in marketing at Tesco for my
industrial year so I had some ideas about how I could sell
advertising space to the local community. I had also worked for
a summer at a graphics design company so I had some expe-
rience of design.
Did you lack any skill or experience, what effect did that
have and how did you deal with it? I had the summer to learn
the software needed to design the paper and the NUS provid-
ed an induction and media conference where I learnt skills on
how to run the paper.
How and why were you elected? ‘VOTE MEL DEAN SHE’S
WELL KEEN!’ Wasn’t this enough? I had enormous amounts of
enthusiasm to do this job and a great deal of support from
friends. My campaign team helped me loads during the run up
to the election and I worked really hard by going and talking to
different clubs and societies and explaining to them why I
thought I would be the best candidate for the job.
Would you want to take the position again if in your final
year now? Absolutely, I learnt so much and made loads of new
friends. Also it has really helped me with my career, when I
started the role I was told that it would take me 10 years in
employment to have the level of responsibility I had as a sabb.
While this is probably true my sabb year has helped move my
career forward.
The old BF office was also a general communal area where
something was always happening. How did this atmos-
phere affect your job? Was it good or bad? I liked the gen-
eral buzz round the office. When I was Communications Officer
part of the office was occupied by Job Shop and part by the
Clubs and Societies. There were always people in and out of
the office and I think people felt very comfortable about just
walking into the office for a chat or to talk about something for
the paper.
Do you have any messages for todays and next year’s BF
editor? Good luck and enjoy yourself! It is important to gain
support from the freshers at the fair; you will need their contri-
butions at the end of the year when the old writers are off doing
their finals! It is good to put your mark on the paper but think
about having long-term targets that the following sabbs will
carry on.
by Kevin Marston
22
Name: Andy Blair (editor 1999-2000)
Age: 23
Job(s) since leaving Surrey: MD of Seven
Stone Media Ltd. Marketing Officer of UniS.
Interim Manager of UniS
Did bf help you get the jobs or guide you
towards it? Absolutely, being editor of bf
gave me knowledge of stuff I didn’t have
before and is the kind of knowledge that is
sought after. If nothing else, it looks really
good on your c.v.
What was your best story? I had quite a
few; the main one was the resignation of
Marcus Meyers (Marcus was VP for Finance
and Development last year but resigned in
January). It was the first time any sabb had
resigned and was a very difficult subject to
broach in bf. On the one hand I was the edi-
tor of bf and had to carry the story, on the
other hand I was a fellow sabb. There was
also the Anniversary of the Guildford Park
bombing and breaking the story of the Union
going down the pan financially.
What was your worst story? There was
only one really bad story, the one we ran
during rag week. We had taken a photo ear-
lier in the year and there was something
strange at the top of the image, could have
been a UFO. Anyway, we sent the photo off
to the Ministry of Defense and they told us it
was nothing, so we ran the story in rag week
about a UFO sighted in Guildford.
Everybody thought we were serious and I
got a fair amount of abuse.
Past Editor Interviews
Were there any stories you could not
print? There were none that we couldn’t
print but there was one about a university
professor who filled a case against the uni-
versity for unfair dismissal. We interview the
professor, and printed his side of the story,
while the case was in court. The university
was furious; we probably shouldn’t have
printed it. There was also a letter that I wish
I hadn’t published, somebody wrote in com-
plaining about certain sections of the paper.
Most section editors read it and decided to
write a response, one of which was particu-
larly vicious and signed ‘a disgruntled edi-
tor’; everybody thought this meant me. Then
the original author threatened to take us to
the PCA (Press Complaints Authority) but
fortunately accepted our apology.
Did you achieve all you set out to achieve
during the year? Absolutely everything,
before I joined bf was lacking a semblance
of current news, so I tried to build up that
section and ended up getting pages 1-3 as
news. We also turned bf from 12 pages to 24
pages with the help of Kev (current editor)
working on barearts. This corresponded to
the number of section editors increasing to
about 10 from 4.
Was there anything you didn’t achieve
but would have liked to? At the end of the
year, the newspaper was established but in
need of fresh blood that I believe it got this
year and the layout has improved immense-
ly this year.
How did you get on with the rest of the bf
team? The team was great, always willing to
learn new techniques and fantastic with
01/02/01
ideas and willingness to help out.
Would you run for the job again if you
What was your biggest failure as editor? were in your final year now? Definitely, I
Probably that we didn’t have enough money would still go for it, even if I had no chance
to make the second edition of 5XH (the of winning.
semesterly magazine now known as
Phased) at the end of the Spring Semester. Other than editor, which was your spe-
Basically we had only budgeted enough cialist area of the paper? I would probably
money for 12 pages of bf every week but have wanted to be in the Marketing team of
produced 24, so ran out of money early. bf.
Instead of the mag. We did produce a big bf
at the end of the year. Do you have any messages for the cur-
rent bf editor and his successor? Kev’s
How did you balance bf Vs Union Vs done well; he has kept the good parts and
University? I saw bf as a triangular tool; the improved the bad parts. Campus news has
voice of students, the voice of the union and certainly got a lot better. Bf now provides
a pressure tool on the university (while still what is needed, information about the uni-
acknowledging the good things about the versity, campus, the union and students. So
university. my message for Kev is keep up the good
work. For next year’s editor, just bring in
How did you get your news? Mainly some more fresh blood and new ideas but
through reading the Surrey Advertiser, look- before you change anything ask why it was
ing at the BBC website, speaking to people like that originally.
on campus and ringing the Senate by Luke Hickey.
Marketing Department.
Outside of bf, what was your greatest
success as a sabb? In a way, that’s not for
me to judge but I think that as the first ever
VP Comms & Marketing, I did well. I think it
was rebranding the Union to its current
orange logo, making it more professional
and semi-corporate.
How was it first going into the job?
Nobody realizes how little you know when
you first go into the job. I lacked general
experience, I was fairly weak on websites
and graphics but I am lucky that I am a quick
learner.

Name: Matt Panell
(editor 1996/7)
You are remembered very fond-
ly by many of those who worked
with you on Barefacts, any idea
why?
Everyone has their individual
quirks. So maybe if these people
were news hounds I can see how
they might come to think that. But
Mel Dean had commercial
strengths that no one else has
matched. Tom Sherwen did a lot
more for the role of
Communications Officer than I
could ever have. Its nice to know
but I’m sure there are those that
would dispute that.
What was the best/funniest
story you ran?
Definitely the Labour party slip-
ping up. They told student Editors
before the 1997 election that they
didn’t intend to introduce tuition
fees. It was only BF that picked it
up when they did just that. As such
BF was mentioned in parliament
and the national papers.
It was good because I was so
cross with the way the press con-
ference had been reported by the
other papers. It riled me so I was
pleased to even things up a bit.
We made a big thing of it. ‘The
Millbank Tapes’ with a photograph
of cassettes on the front page, as
if it was Watergate. It was nice to
play at being a proper newspaper.
A funny story was when sign
writers wrote ‘Motorycle Parking’
on the tarmac outside the library!
What scandal could you not
print at the time but that you
could hint at now?
Scandal?! I wish! We’d have
printed it!
There was the Guildford guy who
was convicted of murdering some-
one during the summer holidays.
We found the students that had
lived with him both before and
after the vacation - ‘Shock As
Housemates Realise Man In Next
Bedroom Is Murderer’. It was a
great story but we had to tone it
down because so many people
were upset about it. They said I
was unashamedly enjoying having
a real crime to write about.
There were a lot of people from
national and region newspapers
hounding the students so we
spent more time trying to keep
them off than we did writing about
it ourselves, which was a shame.
Was the right thing to do?
Well it certainly scuppered my
career in the tabloid press!
Its a tricky thing because as a
Sabbatical and an Editor its as
much your duty to look after the
students who elected you and to
manage external media relations,
as it is to write the newspaper. If
those two roles had been separate
then it certainly would have been
easier
You seemed to be rather cau-
tious with those kind of stories.
Not wanting to upset anyone?
Well maybe on the face of it yes.
However we did put people who
purported to have the right to con-
trol the paper in their place. For
example some Senate House
bods dragged up an old agree-
ment signed by a former President
saying they could vet the paper. I
explained that it was no longer
applicable.
I think I can safely say that we
never pulled or edited a letter
unless we had been advised that
we could be sued for printing it.
Maybe we were a bit cautious
but there’s being over cautious
and deliberately baiting the Union
or Senate, creating a pointless row
just for a bit of controversy. It
doesn’t actually get you anywhere
when you need information. It’s
counterproductive in the long run.
Hmmm. It is a bit tame isn’t it?!
I’m sure we’ve had some more
hot-blooded Editors since then!
What’s your view of BF in the
past?
In the 70’s it was a political
debating forum about free love
and the Vietnam War. There were
more rows between locals, uni and
student organisations during the
80’s.
Now the focus isn’t so much on
those. I thought that a news agen-
da and good features was what
people would be more interested
in. That’s quite intensive though, it
takes up a lot of time.
Describe BF when you became
Editor?
As a team it was great. As a
paper it was quite weak. That’s
because Surrey is a science uni.
At Nottingham for example stu-
dents do English and journalism.
They have to take part in the stu-
dent paper to impress employers.
My predecessor was Mel Dean.
She was a perky, chirpy girl and
would often use strong language
and short sentences to describe
her feelings. An Editorial would be
all about how someone barged in
front of her in the queue at Top
Shop.
The thing I liked most about Mel
was her attitude. When people
didn’t contribute she said, ‘This is
a student paper. If the students
aren’t going to write, then I’m bug-
gered if I am either!’ One issue
famously came out with a blank
page except for a bit in the centre:
‘Nobody’s bloody written anything
for this page so it’s blank. I’m off to
Bo’s from Mel’. I could never have
done that but I admired her for
doing it. I’m sure it made a couple
of people think and realise that the
paper doesn’t just appear out of
thin air.
Mel had spent her whole year
getting enough money for comput-
er equipment and a print budget
so we could go tabloid. I then
enjoyed the benefits of that. If she
hadn’t been there then BF in my
year would probably have been
printed on the back of beer mats!
We would have run out of money.
What did you want to achieve
with BF during your year? Did
you succeed?
When I first became involved
with BF, I felt that given a student
body as big as ours, with all its tal-
ents and resources, we shouldn’t
be turning out something that
looked like a village newsletter.
Although it didn’t read like that and
it was very well managed, stu-
dents deserved a proper tabloid.
I’ve got this thing: ‘if its going to be
called a newspaper, its got to look
like a newspaper, and come off on
your hands’.
I wanted to focus the paper on
news, make it more of a newspa-
per. Whether that’s what the read-
ership wanted I’ll never know, but I
think yes that was the direction the
paper took.
Going tabloid was another step
to becoming a credible newspa-
per. It was something that could be
picked up by people outside of uni
and be taken seriously. It looked,
felt and read more like a newspa-
per.
The only downside is that people
are a bit more intimidated by that.
They feel that to write in a news-
paper you have to have some spe-
cial ability, which isn’t true. You
don’t have to be Charles Dickens.
I mean god knows none of us were
eh?! We couldn’t bloody spell!
People ought to have realised!
That’s the biggest challenge to all
student Editors. Convincing peo-
ple that you don’t have to be part
of some special club to put an arti-
cle in.
So describe BF at the end of
your year?
Maybe it wasn’t as strong at the
end as it was half way through; the
year saps your energy. We kept up
the changes and improvements
though. We brought colour in at
the end of the year. The circulation
was up too.
The colour was remarkable. It
was different from every other
newspaper. Flesh tones came out
day glow pink and grass was like
green highlighter pen! I saw the
first edition and put my sunglasses
on. Jeff, the technical guru said
‘wot you complaining about, it’s
coler init?” It was quite psychedel-
ic.
The BF team was great. Sarah
Giles as Secretary was brilliant.
We had Andrew Thomas and Rob
Winder doing music, James Buller
as News Ed, Jeff Blackman han-
dling the technical side, Justine
Beavis was our commercial expert
while John Dear did politics. Loads
of people helped out including
Photo Soc. developing pictures at
midnight. At the end of the year I
was very pleased with that little
gang, it was very focused.
Some of the quieter members of
the Editorial team would come out
with some quite sensible views
too. I wanted to run a front page
about the VC’s salary. One girl
said ‘why bother. No one cares?
It’s not money out of their pockets.
Who gives toss?’ I said ‘are you
completely mad? Everyone’s furi-
ous about it’. We duly ran the story
and afterwards there was not a
single squeak from anyone! It
dawned on me that no one did
give a toss. It’s important to listen
to all the team.
Continued on page 23
 01/02/01
I used to love seeing people reading the
paper, talking about it, laughing at it. Usually
they’d be pointing and shouting ‘which f*ing
cretin wrote that. He can’t spell!’
One week a guy pursued me all around
campus because I’d left out his letter. He
even jumped in my van at one point ranting
about how I’d ruined his rights. But the good
thing was that he felt passionately about
what his paper said and what it stood for. Of
course I put his letter in the next week and
he wrote again later. There was pleasure
even in that because it showed people
cared.
I think I left the paper in a really good state
of health. Students turned to it for education,
information, amusement, and personals. We
had TV and cinema listings. It was a refer-
ence guide, ents. guide, news source and a
forum for debate. It enabled the Union to
communicate its messages more effectively
the next year because it’s had a good read-
ership base. I think it looked better after me
than it did in my first year but the content was
always good throughout.
What was the best/worst crisis/cock-
up/typo during your year?
There were an awful lot. There were a cou-
ple of typos that created obscene words by
mistake! We often put in adverts upside
down or sideways!
Oh a really good one was the special edi-
tion for the election manifestos. We messed
up the layout in such a way that it changed
the meaning of some candidates’ slogans! I
came back into the office after distributing
them and was met with a firing squad. I got a
massive roasting! We had to reprint the
whole edition, corrected the next week.
People always used to write in about
spelling mistakes but they never learnt, we
would just carry on regardless. When you
writing in a caffeine fuelled haze at 5 in the
morning there isn’t time to re-read stuff. Even
if you could spell there was always a techni-
cal gremlin that would ruin it for you.
How did you balance BF vs. Union vs.
University allegiances?
With a lot of difficulty. That’s the trickiest
thing. You’re meeting, working and eating
with a group of people who if you were inde-
pendent, you may be criticising. So there
was a tacit understanding between the me
and the other Sabbaticals, whereby if a
writer decided to treat them robustly, they
wouldn’t moan about it. They also had to
accept that trained journalists don’t write the
paper and so articles may not get written
with the slant they desire. Given that natural
tension between the paper and the Union I
think we did very well. There have been
years when it went badly wrong.
I stated at the start of my year ‘the paper
will not shy away from criticising the Union’.
Someone said that the Sun would never crit-
icise Rupert Murdock. But the Sun’s Editor is
appointed by the publisher and so tows the
line. I said ‘that’s not the way it works.
Students elect their Editor to say what they
want’.
My line was always that if the Editorial
Board voted on an issue, then that would go.
Elsewhere the Editor would have decided. I
accepted that it was a student’s paper and
that I was no longer a student, I was an
employee of the Union. The Editorial Board
was, always quite balanced and thoughtful.
They could have made my life hell but they
didn’t.
It’s the Editor’s job to make sure there is
not going to be legal trouble with a decision
made by the Editorial Board. If there is not
then he has to go and bat for his team. I got
a few roastings but was happy to say: ‘If
someone wants to take legal action and wins
then I’ve made a boob, but if not then its
robust criticism’.
I remember being summoned to discuss
BF with the President, General Manger and
Catering Manger. I said if it’s about BF then
come to me. Unfortunately they refused so I
had to go to them!
Past Editor Interviews
The President has a nightmare job, when
an Editor is beating his chest declaring inde-
pendence and running stuff that’s going
damage the Union. That’s what they do
though, it’s their job to be embroiled in politi-
cal rows. It’s the Editor’s job to cause them!
The President doesn’t have Editorial con-
trol over the paper but is in charge of the
organisation that publishes it. Therefore if
someone takes us to court it’s the writer,
printer, Editor and publisher who are respon-
sible. The President has a duty to protect the
Union. However allowing them to have a
veto is bad. We got around it was by getting
someone independent who was doing a law
degree to be libel lawyer for us.
Our Editor/Sabbatical arrangement is fairly
unique among Students’ Unions but works
pretty well. It is dependent upon having
strong student writers and Editorial board.
As for my job responsibilities the same
thing goes. We had a weekly Sabbatical
meeting. If it overran I’d have to say ‘I’ve got
to start working on this weeks paper’. Other
Sabbaticals might see BF as 1 out of 10 ele-
ments of your job, but for me it was the bulk
of it. I’d have been a better Sabbatical if I
hadn’t been editing BF. And I’d have been a
better Editor if I hadn’t been a Sabbatical.
I’ve found you can get on with people who
you’re a deadly political opponent of. The
Vice Chancellor for instance. He’d look at the
paper and say ‘What have you put in your
squalid rag this week?’ I’d say ‘Your pay rise
fatso!’ He’d just mutter about it. He had a
house with remote controlled metal blinds.
So I used to call him Ernst Bloefelt!
How did you get content for BF?
Begged stole and borrowed! Most people
who wrote during my year did it because
they were threatened! That was always the
best way to get people to write. Either that or
they were writing in to complain about what
I’d written the previous week. They were
usually more passionate!
Your BF office was also a social area.
How did that affect your job?
It was a pain in way but at the same time it
meant people would come in with half an
hour to kill and write something. People
would get themselves a cup of tea or more
usually a pint of lager and do some good
work.
People felt relaxed there because you
could be surfing the net, doing some photos
or writing a story. It was a buffer zone
between the hacks down the corridor and
‘normal’ people. If you make every inch of
space an office or a bar there’s no happy
medium.
Age now?
26
Job(s) had since leaving Surrey?
Just the one, at Photosound, a design and
communications agency. I was a Project
Coordinator and now I’m an Account
Manger.
Did BF help you get that job?
I would definitely not have got the job with
out having done BF. It taught me writing,
publishing, communications, and project
management. As Editor you’re responsible
for managing the budget, suppliers, person-
nel, regulators, the powers that be and deal-
ing with all the flak. So in terms of manage-
ment skills it was very very useful.
How has the BF experience helped you
since?
I learnt how to get the best out of a group of
people, to decide upon a stance and devel-
op it. I’m sure I learnt that at BF. Also how to
convince people of things. Anytime we want-
ed to make a change to the funding or struc-
ture of the paper we had to get it approved
by Sabbaticals, Executive Committee and a
Student Council meeting. So you had to
argue your case.
What did you bring to the Editor posi-
tion?
Energy! I’d always fancied it too. The first
thing I did when I arrive at Surrey was went
to see BF Editor.
What skills + experience did you have
before becoming Editor?
I could write relatively well. I could also per-
suade people of things. I’m fairly level head-
ed I’ll sit and think about calmly. If you panic
when someone comes in and hurls abuse
then you’ll spend your whole time having a
heart attack.
In my time I’d written news features and
liased with people outside of the paper,
including some ITN correspondents and a
reporter on the Surrey Advertiser. He then
wrote really fair and accurate coverage of
issues concerning students.
Did you lack any skill or experience?
What effect did that have and how did you
deal with it?
I took myself, the job and paper too seri-
ously. It’s easy to loose perspective and for-
get that your writing something that only
2000 people read. It’s easy to get carried
away and absorbed. I took a couple of holi-
day breaks and read other papers. That and
drinking loads helped!
Technical knowledge is usually lacking in
new Editors. You don’t realise the technical
skills you need to publish a newspaper and if
you don’t have them then the job instantly
becomes twice as hard. You can see how the
IT and design skills of all the Editors
improves over the year. I was really lucky
having Jeff so I could spend time writing and
photographing, rather than swearing at the
PC. When he wasn’t around that’s what I did
though. People used to come and check I
was ok. They’d hear me through the walls,
screaming obscenities.
Would you want to be Editor again if in
your final year now?
Categorically yes! Definitely. Except I
wouldn’t get so distracted by details and
would concentrate on a few main things.
What do you think of BF since your time?
This year’s Phased is a terrific piece of
design. It pisses over what I did for BF.
23
Where should BF go now?
I would always say that it should be rooted
as a newspaper, but something tells me that
modern students are less and less interested
in that. In just the same way as the Union is
perceived less and less as a democratic stu-
dent run organisation and more as a service
provider - food and drinks etc. Even before
my year people were seeing the paper in the
same way. ‘The Union provides it, we read
it’. People couldn’t get it into their head they
were supposed to write it and read it, that the
Union was meant to be the students. We
spent a lot of time trying to battle against that
but it’s a trend you can’t get around.
I hope in years to come that will reverse
again. But at the moment the paper will have
to evolve to what students want. For
instance in Phased, the Christmas gifts
ideas. If that had been submitted to the 70’s
Barefacts, it would have been unthinkable to
print it. It goes to show that the readership
and their demands change, So whether BF
wants or needs another news fanatic is
questionable. I would always say ‘yes’ but I
don’t know if that’s what people want.
Do you have a message for today’s BF
Editor?
Kev, Keep your head down. Enjoy it. Give
us a ring if you want a job!
And for next years Editor?
Devote time and effort to getting a team in at
the start of the year. Cajole them, buy them
drinks whatever you have to do!
Don’t get the paper or yourself dragged into
too many odd little disputes because they
just waste time.
When you do get caught up in a dispute over
a story that has caused a bit of controversy,
absolutely stick to your guns. You’ve
checked your facts, you’re backing your
writer and you know no one can sue you.
Therefore if anyone has a problem don’t let
them interfere with your Editorial judgement.
You’re appointed by the students and there
fore you should only be able to be unap-
pointed by them. Remind anyone of that who
tries to bully you.
The only trouble was you have to get the
story right in the first place. That’s where we
always went wrong!!
by James Buller
24
RCS
Robot Society is evolving. We’re
changing our name and our focus
to hopefully get more of you inter-
ested in joining. From now on we
are going to be called the Radio
Control Society or RCS for short.
What do we do you might ask?
Well we organise the ant world
series for one thing, which is a
Robot Wars related event where
people come from all over the
country (sort of a UK world series if
by Rosie Burns
My barefacts ‘try it’ started on
Monday night, when I went along
to the weekly meeting attended by
the main team. I arrived early, and
watched as Kev (Ed.) and Luke
(Deputy Ed.) worked out how they
were going to lay up the various
articles for that week’s edition. As
the team arrived it struck me that
there were not actually that many
on the main team. The discussion
centred around the previous
week’s issue, concentrating on
areas that had worked well and
those which could be improved.
Luke chaired the meeting, and the
conversation was surprisingly
frank but the team seemed to take
both compliments and criticisms
alike on board. The discussion
moved onto the following week’s
issue, of which several pages
were to be devoted to articles pro-
duced by various participants of
rag week. It was at this point that I
realised perhaps just how difficult
it can be to get stories. As a rule
everything in the paper is pro-
duced by this relatively small
group of people, aside from
emails, advertisements and a few
contributions from other members
of the student body. I asked Luke
AGM’s
Stage
Stage Crew
Crew
Monday11th
Monday11th February
February 2001
2001
6pm
6pm Helen
Helen Rose
Rose Bar
Bar
- the society formerly known as Robot Soc!
you like) to compete. Anyway peo-
ple come and fight their robots,
which must fit in a 4 inch cube and
weigh 150g or less, right here on
campus in the students union! The
world series are held roughly every
4 months so there is always some-
thing to be doing, like building new
robots and improving our existing
ones, so we can win the next
event.
Since the focus of the society is
now changing from just robots to
Mini Robot Wars
barefacts
how they managed to find suffi-
cient stories for the paper each
week, and he explained that at
times it can be quite difficult, as
major stories can go unreported if
nobody thinks to inform a
barefacts contributor.
Unfortunately it appears that
although barefacts is a valued part
of our student life, and the main
way in which many of us find out
about events and news, through
no fault of its own not all major
happenings get covered.
The following evening I went
along as the paper was actually
EGM’s
Hockey
Hockey
Tuesday
Tuesday 6th
6th February
February
6pm
6pm Varsity
Varsity
Chem
Chem Eng
Eng Soc
Soc
Societies 01/02/01
include other forms of radio control
vehicles, we will now (if you show
up!) be organising different events
for radio control cars, boats, aero-
planes etc. So come along and
get involved!
The last Ant World Series - What
happened?
Well we entered two robots, but
did not do as well as we had
hoped. One of our robots was
slightly too heavy to compete and
the other robot was eliminated
early on after being picked on by
two of the best robots in the com-
petition, which proves it must have
been a threat. One of these two A helping hand
robots later went on to win the indi-
vidual event. We did however do chains, weapon and armour before posters in February advertising
well in the group battles and team the driver lost the battle by acci- this event. We hold meetings
events, going on to win the half dentally driving the robot off the weekly on Wednesdays in the
hour long final battle which edge of the arena. During this bat- union at 1pm upstairs by the
involved all the robots which still tle everyone was standing at least arcade machines. You can contact
worked, thrown into the arena at 5 metres away from the arena the Society at
once. We did get a chance to run wearing safety glasses because of surrey_rcs@yahoo.co.uk or by
the overweight robot round as well, flying debris! turning up to a meeting.
it fought against another over-
weight robot by the name of Plod. When and how can I get Written by Graham Doe
This was the most destructive bat- involved? (Chairman) and edited beyond all
tle so far in the history of Ants. Our The next Ant World Series will be recognition by Stephen Pearson
robot, which is armed with a high- in the union building on Sunday (Treasurer).
speed saw, destroyed Plod’s drive 25th February - look out for
laid up. I only stayed a couple of
hours. In fact this process takes USSU’S VERY OWN ‘BLIND DATE’!!
several hours, often only coming
to an end in the small hours of the
morning. I wrote up the competi- Valentine’s day will shortly be upon us once again, great if you have
tions page and generally watched someone to share the romance with…..a bit of a non-event if you don’t.
what was going on. There were Well no need to despair if you haven’t got a meal booked at that little
Italian restaurant, or the trip to Paris isn’t quite happening this year, your
still interviews being conducted
and articles written for inclusion in caring student’s Union is playing cupid by hosting its very own version of
that tv classic ‘Blind Date’ and it’s guaranteed to be a lorra, lorra fun
that issue. I left the others to a
long night and went off to (sorry, couldn’t resist). We are after volunteers to take part, not only
could they win a fantastic date, they may also meet the girl/boy of their
Chancellors. I would urge anyone
to get involved in barefacts - they dreams. Bare Facts will meet up with the couples after their dates to find
out how they got on………
are a very cool and friendly bunch
of people. Perhaps the one thing
Entry is open to all (though the lack of a girl/boyfriend is kind of an
that people don’t realise is the
amount of work that goes into pro- essential), application forms can be obtained from the main union recep-
tion. So, come on and take part in what definitely promises to be a great
ducing the paper – now that I have
seen it myself I might just appreci- night, and who knows who you may meet……
ate barefacts a little bit more.
Wednesday
Wednesday 7th
7th Feb
Feb Meetings Notices
1pm
1pm 43BC02
43BC02
Sailing Union
Union Exec
Exec Committee
Committee The
The Stag
Stag Hill
Hill Archers
Archers GM
GM
Sailing Club
Club
Thursday 8th February will
will take
take place
place Saturday
Saturday
Monday/Tuesday
Monday/Tuesday (week
(week 44
5pm GMR 10th
10th Febuary,
Febuary, 10.30am,
10.30am, TB
TB
tbc)
tbc)
LTA 12B
12B
LTA Time
Time TBC
TBC
 01/02/01 Classic bf 25

OLD FAT & UGLY one in the town who was

barefacts is just one of a multitude of stu-
dent activities that has been going from
strength to strength over a period of
decades. In fact, the origins of many of the
university’s multifarious clubs and societies
are lost in the mists of time; historical
record-keeping is never foremost on the
minds of a committee when dealing with
day-to-day business.
It is generally believed that EARS is the
oldest society; second only to this is Oscar
Film Unit, the university’s film society. In
common with barefacts, OFU has left a
treasure trove of information about universi-
ty life - in this case, in the form of an archive
of 16mm films shot by members of the soci-
ety.
What follows is partially conjecture from
the contents of these films and partly expla-
nation from OFU alumni that have been in
contact with the society recently, mainly
through our new website at
http://www.ofu.org.uk/. If anyone can correct
any of the points mentioned in this article,
OFU would be delighted to hear from you.
From the vintage of some of the archived
films, it is possible to see that OFU actually
predates the university. The oldest film of
historical interest in the collection is a docu-
mentary made of RAG week 1967. This was
in the very brief period after Battersea
Polytechnic was granted its charter and
became the University of Surrey yet was still
based in Battersea, as the campus here in
Guildford was still under construction.
Events of that particular RAG week included
a carnival procession through the streets of
London, which seemed mainly to consist of
partially-clad women gyrating on the backs
of lorries while blokes with suspicious facial
hair waved collecting tins.
Two years later, another RAG documen-
tary shot around Guildford shows the town
and students in some detail. Many of the
shops in the High Street and North Street
are still present today; for example,
Messingers (opposite TGI Friday’s) and
even Sainsbury’s. Again, a carnival proces-
sion was the central feature of the week,
with every society and even individual courts
of residence providing competing floats. The
traditional RAG slave auction had an added
twist that simply would not be safe these
days: it took place on the steps of the church
at the top of the High Street and involved
selling semi-naked female students to any-
willing. More bizarre
events included
“Emptying the Wey”, in
which a human chain
passed buckets of water
from the bridge at the
bottom of the High
Street all the way to the
top; a “Mile of Pennies”; and a highly amus-
ing lilo race in the Wey, which, given that this
was in the middle of some impressive snow-
drifts, was probably not particularly pleasant
for the participants. It is also fortunate that
the students did not succeed in emptying
the river while their colleagues were pad-
dling along it... The event was rounded off
by a concert at the Guildford Civic featuring
Deep Purple.
16mm film was used much more in those
days for teaching purposes, so much of the
archive from this period of time consists of
instructional films which are reminiscent of
the sort of Open University videos that you
invariably used to record by accident when
trying to get the late-night film. The next
OFU-made film of interest, however, dates
from the early 1970s and is called “Peter
The Cow”. It comprises a pantomime cow
wandering around campus, including into
lectures. This could have been made in con-
junction with “COW”, or Charities Own
Week, a sort of rival to RAG with whom OFU
apparently produced film projects. Of
course, Peter The Cow is mostly interesting
these days for its views of the campus as it
was back then, including the Students’
Union building and lecture theatres. Also of
note from this period is the film risibly known
as “The OFU Sex Film” which is, according
to one of our current members, the “least
erotic piece of pornography” he has seen in
his life.
It seems that the early seventies were
quite a prolific time for OFU’s film-making
and there are such gems as “Enter The
Newt”, a spoof of “Enter The Dragon”, that
was shot at The Manor House in Godalming
which was, in days gone by, a student resi-
dence. From a historical point of view, it is
also interesting to note that the members of
OFU seemed, in general, to get involved in
other student media - including Bare Facts
(as it was then written) and PhotoSoc. Thus
many of the archive materials coincide
between the different societies. One of the
best archives covering all of these societies
and more is at
http://www.folkcorp.co.uk/uos/ whose owner
recently wrote to OFU, saying that the well-
known lion logo, that is still in use, dates
from 1972 - his sister drew it, apparently.
The highlight of this website is the “Urban
Legends” section which aims to list structur-
al (and personal) defects from around the
university. Dubious claims such as the infa-
mous one about Guildford Court accidental-
ly being built to 2/3 scale hold a lot more
water when written by someone who was
actually on campus when it was bright, shiny
and new.
For the last decade or so, OFU has con-
centrated mainly on showing films rather
than making them. While the archive cannot
tell us for how long OFU has been showing
films, we know that it is at least since the
mid-seventies, as we have a season ticket
from this era which lists the films (mostly
awful, unfortunately) and also gives the
location - Lecture Theatre D. Back then,
there was a second film society on campus,
called Stag Hill Film Club (or SHFC) which
was the forerunner of today’s University Arts
Cinema (UAC).
Somewhere along the line, SHFC started
getting into financial difficulties, whereas at
the time OFU was completely self-support-
ing. In fact, OFU never received a grant from
the Students’ Union until as recently as
1998. OFU was
therefore in the
unique position of
subsidising
SHFC for several
years until the
two merged.
Then, in the
eighties, the soci-
ety devolved into
OFU and UAC,
and also
switched film pro-
duction to some
video work,
before eventually
ceasing altogeth-
er. OFU and UAC
were reunited
once again a few years later when some-
body realised that the two committees were
identical. Currently, the only distinction is
that OFU is subsidised by USSU whereas
UAC is supported by the University Arts
Committee.
Today, rumours abound on campus that
OFU is dying a slow death and this is not
altogether untrue. Since the mid-1990s,
when the Odeon moved from the top of town
to its current location, many students have
preferred to go there and OFU started mak-
ing a loss almost immediately; however,
thanks to reserves of cash, it did not need
Union assistance for some time afterwards.
Another factor plaguing OFU at the moment
is the cessation of 16mm film as an exhibi-
tion format, not to mention consistently low
quality film prints. A major survey for USSU
about two years ago showed that fewer than
10% of students have ever been to even a
single film showing. Rest assured, however,
that plans are afoot to save the society and
relaunch it into the next 35 years or so. OFU
still shows films - see barefacts weekly for
details - and meanwhile, if you fancy making
a film (that is, real film, not video) then get in
contact with OFU by e-mailing oscarfilmu-
nit@hotmail.com as we are currently prepar-
ing to shoot a project later this month.
David “I’m making it up as I go along” Abbott

SocItToMe Classics
Railway Society (issue 159)
Will all members of the University please note that the
Society now has a notice board in the card room. Full details
of future activities etc. will be shown on the board.
Next meeting will be this Monday 21st at 7:30pm in lecture
theatre E for illustrated talk on the Festiniog Railway by Roy
Humphries also the E.G.M. All welcome.
Folk Club Events This Term (Issue 189)
May 15th: Dave Ellis 25p on door
May 22nd: Local Talent evening - 10p on door
May 29th: Marion Segal & friends - 25p in advance, 30p on
door
June 1st: FOLK FESTIVAL. For details see posters appear-
ing round site in the near future.
Hammersmith Bridge. The gig was very good but Carter
were almost invisible behind their light rig.
I hope that some of you turned up to the "learn to DJ" ses-
sion on Monday. If you did, and want to DJ to a proper No
Wave crowd then come to the meetings on Thursday at 6 in
the Barclay room.
Later on this term we have a band on Dec. 5th and we're
probably Djing for Animal Welfare around then as well.
I'm going to end now as I haven't got anything to say.

I.M.G (issue 159) Stag Hill Morris (Issue 179)

The International Marxist Group holds weekly discussions
every Wednesday on revolutionary politics. This week's dis-
cussion will be on Stalinism and Trotskyism and will be held
in the Conference Rooms in Union House at 4:00pm All wel-
come
Lost Property (issue 129)
Lost property will be auctioned in the Students' Union
Lounge on Thursday 15th June at 1:00pm
Stag Hill Morris is desperately short of FIRST YEAR MEN to
continue the Stag Hill traditions. Keep fit with the Constant
Billy! Slurp beer with the Squire and the Bagman! You can
gain the admiration of thousands, with STAG HILL MORRIS
as seen on T.V.
OFU (Issue 738)
The trip to see Carter last Thursday was enjoyed by all who
went, one of the highlights was the precarious journey over
Rock Club Header thingy (Issue 738)
Yo peeps again! We're still here! There WAS a meeting this
week and lots of things happened, there will be a disco in
Rag Week (WEEK SEVEN) and hopefully there was a
disco/band this week which is bound to have been a suc-
cess…cough, cough…Flappy in minibus-test-shock!
Keep off the roads today!!…Iain is now officially power-
crazed. If you have any ideas for records to complete our
ear-grinding (not really, honest) record collection then come
to the next meeting at the bar, Thursday at 7pm. And listen
to the RADIO SHOW on Thursday nights from 9 till 11 on
GCR!! Does anyone want to see a main hall band??
26 Rag Week 01/02/01

Rag Photo Special

Throughout the week there have been various promotions to support and raise money for the rag charities. Therefore without further a do
here are some photos of the events.
First up in the week was Shave Shaggy where the ever beautiful Ali and Sven that bloke from behind the bar took part in the shearing of
the Shaggy.

HAIRTEC
(01483) 440414
24 Madrid Road

Reduced
prices for
Students
Tuesday’s -
Friday’s
inclusive

Lloyds
Chemist

Madrid The Astolat

Road
x Newsagent Apollo
01/02/01 Rag Week 27

Also that night the annual beer drinking competition took place in the Students’ Union where all the contestants adhered to one rule, if you
thrown up enough you haven’t drunk enough.

Friday night saw the return of the traffic light party but unfortunately some people got the total wrong end of the stick, naming no
names...........
28 Ofu & Website 01/02/01

Film Review Lovingly Scraping The Bottom

TRAFFIC
by Sariqa Wagley
Of The Oil Barrel
The sea is cold. Cold and wet, like the sensation of
If you want something to watch this denim on skin after a hearty morning spent chopping
week, I highly recommend Traffic, wood in autumn. Only more so. And, even apart from
directed by Steven Soderbergh that, it's full of fish. In many ways, it could be argued
(also directed Erin Brockovich) and that the decision taken by our distant ancestors to for-
staring Catherine Zeta Jones, sake the aquatic lifestyle was a damn good idea.
Michael Douglas, Dennis Quaid
and Benicio Del Toro. The film is Down the ages of humanity, Thor Heyerdahl,
based on the 1980’s Channel Four Jacques Cousteau, and Herman Melville have all
mini series Traffik and was beaten contributed to the worldwide animosity mankind holds
for best motion picture (by towards the sea. We're well out of that, humanity at
Gladiator) at last weeks Golden large seemed to decide. We'd rather dine on premi-
Globe Awards. um brands than shrimps, coral, and remoras.
The film has three different plots all
surrounding the same theme. Some people just never take a hint.
Michael Douglas plays the role of
a judge and leader of an anti-drugs So, in "Deep Blue Sea", a typically-dense group of
campaign who discovers his daughter is a heroin addict and is forced research scientists are buggering about in the middle
to face up to the drugs crises that is more closer to home. Catherine of the drink, hundreds of miles from anywhere, trying
Zeta Jones who is heavily pregnant in the film plays the wife of a drugs to find cures for brain dysfunctions. With the usual
smuggler, who has to take control of business matters herself while her cabin-fever idiocy that bored scientists in isolated
husband is in prison. The final plot is that of Benicio Del Toro, who research facilities seem particularly susceptible to,
plays a Mexican cop, Javier Roderiguez, trying to battle the against the they decide to deform some sharks for kicks. By
local drug cartels on the other side of the American border. All three enlarging the creatures' brains, they hope to... well,
plots are great but the acting of Del Toro is by far the best and hence, do something or other. The exact idea behind this is
it is not surprising that he picked up a Golden Globe for best support- never explained -presumably Pan Am baggage han-
ing role in a motion picture last week. Del Toro, who played Fenster in dlers lost the suitcase with their Really
The Usual Suspects, plays a more heroic, character with an agonised Expensive Microscope in, and they've had to resort to
conscience as well a cop with a heart and soul. Deep Blue Sea
using the backs of sporks to examine their test sub-
The film has a strong plot and is set both in America and Mexico with jects. noir genre.
heavy Spanish dialogue from Del Toro adding to the films authencity.
Credit goes to Soderbergh who has turned this nearly forgotten British Anyway. That isn't important right now. What is impor- A young American writer arrives in Vienna shortly
serial, into a artistic and riveting film with its off-beat techniques and tant is that their hapless experiment goes wrong, and after the close of the Second World War with the
most of all a well acted cast. This film is not to be missed. they find themselves confronted by a trio of intelligent intention of seeing an old friend, only to find that said
sharks (sadly -not- christened Huey, Dewie and friend has died in an automobile accident. Parts of
Louie), who, yes it's true, lead an uprising. the story, however, don't seem to add up, and he
starts to run an independent investigation into his
An uprising. Led by sharks. Featuring LL Cool J. friend's demise - becoming further embroiled in the
postwar Viennese underworld as he does so.
As attentive readers may have guessed, "Deep Blue
Sea" isn't exactly a po-mo take on "The Battleship "The Third Man" unwinds like a long nightmare, a plot
Potemkin". It's more of a generic Dumb Summer that's virtually sadistic in its outright refusal to identify
Action Film (with parent object #3421, "The Abyss"). a "good" or "bad" guy in this uncertain world not com-
Were we to sit Jacques Cousteau down before "Deep posed of black and white, but many shades of grey.
Blue Sea", we would probably have to lead him from The dreamlike tone of the movie's cinematography,
the cinema in tears at the conclusion of the film. But, along with the infamously incongruous zither sound-
somewhat fortunately for us, he's not returned our track, only serve to add to the unsettling atmosphere.
calls.
A strange, dislocated world where characters some-
What "Deep Blue Sea" is is a fast and genuinely how coexist within a moral vacuum, the Vienna of
thrilling film. Lots of suspense, a satisfying amount of "The Third Man" is ruined, paranoia-ridden, and
gore... and a supporting role from Samuel L Jackson. above all uncertain. Within this seething mass of
Hey, at least it's not "Lake Placid"... ambiguities and tension, Orson Welles as Harry Lime
moves serenely, sharklike, wholly within his element,
OFU shall be showing "Deep Blue Sea" at OFU this his performance crowning an already superb film.
Sunday, at 8pm, in Lecture Theatre G.
University Arts Cinema shall be screening Carol
Meanwhile, University Arts Cinema this week is Reed's "The Third Man" in Lecture Theatre G at 8pm,
screening the 1949 Carol Reed classic, "The Third next Wednesday.
Man". Written by Graham Greene and starring Orson
Welles, this film is an undisputed classic of the film [this week's OFU column written by Jean Baudrillard]
01/02/01 Computing Page
Intro
This area is aimed at all you students out there who spend lots of time twiddling your
thumbs (on analogue sticks!). Hopefully you will find the short articles of interest. I'm no
expert, but simply enjoy gaming. If anyone can contribute via the form of reviews, com-
ments, letters etc...don't hesitate to send them to: jubajooba@hotmail.com . Enjoy...
Extra
To play a top PC game you need a top PC. If you don't own one and feel you are missing
out then I strongly recommend you take a visit to Quarks, Guildford. Situated on 'Jeffries
Passage', Quarks offers excellent services. Upstairs belongs to gamers. With top spec PCs
you can take part in some serious madness. Recently, after tiring of Tiberian Sun, I asked
the staff to promote a game to me. They did so with the style of a drug dealer (a harmless
drug!) and my CounterStrike days began!! The frequency of my visits increased dramati-
cally.
FOCUS
Starpeace
www.starpeace.net
Format: PC
Publisher: Monte Cristo
Developer: Oceanus
Release: Out Now
Gaming online is the future. The space for thought is enormous. Imagine a world online, not
only an imaginary world, perhaps a recreation of the real world! Choose who you want to
be and do what you want! Stroll through your hometown, bomb a few buildings, and leave
(nobody gets hurt!). Well, perhaps today we don't have the technology to map the real world
into binary, but things are moving fast in the graphics department. PC processing powers
were predicted, by a former Intel chief, to double over a period of 18 months. Graphic power
is now improving as much as eight times per year! So, taking a step back, we now come to
Starpeace. Looking at this isometric 2D sprite-based game you might be quick to criticise,
but the point is Monte Cristo has its eyes on the big picture. At the moment, to log onto the
Starpeace universe will involve you in a massive multiplayer business sim. Create your own
empire, do some deals, and make money to expand into a potential universal power con-
trolling planets of gamers. This core economic base is only the starting point. Monte Cristo
have an engine in development which will create a real-time, 3D environment, so walking
around the virtual city will become possible. The first sub-game to be released will involve
the gamer in criminal activities. Gather a few other players, for a price, and assassinate
your business rivals! Sounds good, but think even further and players could be piloting star-
ships in a war versus rival planets. There's still a lot of work to be done but ambition makes
things happen. Keep your eyes on this one.
Requirements: P133, 2Mb graphics card, 33Kbps
NEWS
It is becoming common knowledge within the gaming world that if you want to make a game
you need big bucks. With an industry as big if not bigger than the film industry, developing
a game can cost millions. It wasn't long ago when bedroom coders were writing games, in
their spare time, for platforms such as the Spectrum. With a bit of luck it would end up on
the shelves. The people who started like that are generally the people running the show
today.
So where are the next generation programmers going to come from? In 1997 Sony
launched Net Yaroze (Japanese: lets create). Providing coders with a keyed down
Playstation development kit and a chance for the best examples of code to be included on
the Official Playstation Magazine cover, the project was designed to open the door to the
video gaming industry. This inspired many people, some who are now working on suc-
cessful titles such as This Is Football 2. The next question is, what's happening now?
The answer is once again, though not entirely, Sony. Having recently launched the PS2,
Sony has decided to add a simple programming language to their demo disk. Named
Yabasic, this small package is aimed at kids as young as 8, who will be provided with all
the support they need from the Yabasic website. Teaching basics to this generation will
surely benefit future gaming.
It looks like Sony is pulling all the weight, but others are catching on fast. A company called
Indrema is due to launch (US) a new console in spring 2001. Indrema will be hitting the big
guys (Microsoft-Sony-Nintendo) from a different angle. Boasting a set of specs that rival all
the next-gen consoles, the Indrema could well prove to be popular amongst hardcore
gamers. Linux-based, Indrema offers free SDKs, free distribution, a support community and
an open source operating system. This in effect is a user-friendly game-designing platform
that can be used by amateurs or professionals alike. For the games to run on the console
they will have to be certified by Indrema. A royalty will be charged and the game becomes
available. An UK launch is yet to be specified, but the future of gaming looks bright.
[PLATFORM] 129 Supported By
Contact : Dan Mascall : jubajooba@hotmail.com
"Being involved in MV can only give you a head start in terms of your future career and we would
welcome applications from any Millennium Volunteer"
David Ashley - Development Controller
Arcadia Group
29
[PLATFORM] 129
Barefacts Pipe to the
Gaming World
PREVIEW
Black & White
www.lionhead.co.uk
Format: PC
Developer: Lionhead Studios
Release: Spring 2001
I believe this game will send ripples through the gaming media in the coming months.
Guildford based Lionhead Studios, led by the well-known Peter Molyneux, are set to
release a game that will raise standards. The gamer is cast into a world where they act the
role of a god. Impressing humanoids with miracles will gather a following of which 'prayer
power' can be gained to perform increasingly impressive magic (spells, tricks??).
Completing against rival gods for power you must control and raise your people with a
degree of skill. The miracles are performed in a unique way. For example, to unleash a wall
of fire, the gamer must perform a circular movement with the mouse. The game will judge
your accuracy and therefore how effective you are. There is more. At the start of the game
an animal will be born. You are to raise this animal, how you see suitable, by punishing and
awarding it. As it gets older it will be able to perform its own miracles. If you've been a bad
parent you'll see your people getting eaten and buildings flattened as a monster evolves.
Internet play is also supported with the added feature of being able to 'carry' your creature
into new games. Raise your pet well and be rewarded when battling out with human play-
ers! This game should make an impact. With imagination and new ideas becoming risky in
a business that's becoming all about the money, hopefully Lionhead will do well with their
first release.
REVIEW
Sheep
Format: PC / Playstation
Developer: Empire Interactive
Release: Out Now
For the benefit of Kev, who provided me with a demo CD, here is a review of sheep (Better
late than never!). Empire Interactive, previously known for its golf and simulation titles is
taking on a new genre. If fun, casual puzzle games catch your interest, such as the classic
Lemmings, then Sheep would be sure to entertain you. The object of the game is to suc-
cessfully guide a flock of sheep through all sorts of bizarre obstacles, traps and puzzles. At
the start you choose your shepherd, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, and
then continue to herd your sheep through7 worlds to a UFO pickup point (Don't ask why!).
To make things harder, there are 4 kinds of sheep, including metal heads, which have their
own unique way of flocking. To start with this game is amusing and fun. The learning curve
is short and saving all the sheep is a realistic target. As you reach the later levels, in my
opinion, the game starts to become tedious. Taking turns with a mate to get to the next,
larger than before, level, is the only way to advance without becoming board. Overall it's a
funny game, but the novelty soon runs out.
CLASSIC
UFO:Enemy Unknown
Format: Amiga / PC
Developer: Microprose
Just recently I managed to get hold of a copy of UFO-Enemy Unknown. Anyone who knows
this game will remember it. It occupied a lot of my time and I must say it had to be down to
the fact that the reward I gained from my research kept me up all night. Power suits, Plasma
rifles, recovered alien corpses etc. Excellent. Ha. Anyone else out there who's mad please
contact me: jubajooba@hotmail.com
Websites:
Visit these for futher info on the above articles:
www.lionhead.co.uk
www.quarks.co.uk
www.indrema.com
www.starpeace.net
Boy George djing live @ FNO
2nd February
01/02/01
Dr Russ
Dear Russ
I've heard that selection centres often
include discussion groups as part of the
assessment procedure. I haven't got a
clue what to expect. Can you help me?
Dear Nick
Having watched a number of discussion
groups over the years, the main thing I've
noticed is that they tend to come in all sorts
of shapes and sizes. A chairperson might
be appointed or the group left leaderless; a
specific topic might be thrown in for discus-
sion or you might be left to develop some-
thing yourselves; sometimes you are given
a brief beforehand, other times you're not.
Whatever form they take there are a num-
ber of things you can do to improve your
performance. First of all, it is essential that
you say something early on. The longer
you leave it, the harder it is to get going.
Don't worry about making a fool of yourself
at this stage, it's far more important to get
used to the sound of your own voice. You
will gain in confidence the more you speak.
Secondly, if you feel shut out of the discus-
sion at any stage - you can come back in
fairly painlessly either by complimenting
someone on a view or an opinion which
they've expressed or by asking them to
clarify something they've said. You will be
given marks for these contributions
Lifestyle 31
because they are seen as supportive and
helpful.
Thirdly, if you are chairing the discussion
you should aim to: introduce the topic; set
down any guidelines such as encouraging
only one person to speak at a time; curtail
overbearing participants whilst involving
those on the fringes of the discussion; and,
finally, steer the group towards a point
where you can make a short summary of
the discussion. Keep your eye on the
clock because if you over-run, you might
be penalised. The discussion might even
be terminated by the examiners before
you've had a chance to draw it all together
and that would be disastrous.
However, as with every part of the selec-
tion procedure, don't panic if you think
you've made a mess of it. Candidates are
seldom rejected on the results of just one
exercise. What's more, if you stay calm
and can bounce back for the next test, your
positive attitude is certain to impress the
examiners and will often more than com-
pensate for previous disappointments.
Russ Clark,
Careers Service
PS We still have places on the Assessment
Centres workshop on Wed 7 February.
This will include a group discussion. Please
sign up in Careers if you wish to attend.

Camp America MONEY MATTERS

TOP TIPS WANTED

It was about this time last year that
I started to think (no actually
dread) the thought of getting a job
over the summer vacation. Weeks
of working in a job that was most
probably going to be dull, indoors
and worst of all in Norfolk really
didn’t appeal to me at all. So when
someone suggested to me that in
6 months time I could be in
America, working with kids, having
fun and getting to see the real US
of A, I thought I’d see what it was
all about. After attending a Camp
America meeting in London, I was
hooked, everyone there was so
enthusiastic and, like me wanted
to have a summer they’d never
forget. Having filled out a few
forms and been to the Directors
Fair in London, it was only a mat-
ter of months before I was waving
goodbye to East Anglia and say-
ing ‘hi’ to the East Coast of
America.
The camp that I worked on was in
New York state, about 45 minutes
from ‘The Big Apple’ itself. Camp
Spruce is a charity run camp for
under-privileged kids from the
NYC suburbs and so, unlike some
of the summer camps I’d seen on
TV (yes, I do admit to having
watched ‘Bug Juice’ on the odd
occasion) it didn’t really have
many impressive facilities. But as
my summer progressed, I realised
that water skiing and rock climbing
isn’t what summer camp is about.
Although this will sound cliched, to
me camp was about letting the
kids have a few weeks, where
they really could just be kids, and
do some things which they might
not have had the opportunity to do
at home (even if it was only mak-
ing a Fimo badge or singing
around a camp fire!). I mainly
worked as an arts and crafts spe-
cialist, preparing, organising and
running creative sessions with
groups of up to 20 kids ranging in
age from 6 to 16, but I also helped
with bunk counselling too (this
involves caring for the kids every-
day stuff, like checking they go to
bed at the right time, comforting
them if they get home-sick and
doing things for them which might
usually be done by their mother,
father or siblings, even if it’s just
making sure they’ve brushed their
teeth before bed!).
Camp is a mixture of totally unique
and amazing experiences which
you could probably never get any-
where else; for me it combined
hilarious and sometimes heart-
warming moments which I’ll never
forget, with memories of tiredness,
sleeping bags, processed cheese,
skunks, fire-flies, Oreos, and the
toilets.... But one of the best things
about camp (as well as the chil-
dren and the fact that for 9 weeks
you’re able to act like a big
(responsible!) kid yourself) was
making friends with the other staff
working alongside me. I made
some really good friends in a rela-
tively short time and am still in reg-
ular contact with them now;
together we experienced an
extraordinary summer with lots of
kids, lots of laughs, a few tears, a
bit of travelling and some brilliant
weekends off in New York City.
If the idea of having an amazing
summer in 2001 appeals to you,
then why not attend the Camp
America Recruitment Fair in
London on 10th (10am - 4pm) and
11th (11am - 4pm) of February, at
Kensington Town Hall, Campden
Hill Road, London, W8. You will be
able to speak personally to the
directors of the camps and get
recruited the very same day! You
MUST bring with you: 2 passport
sized photos, 2 current references
(signed & dated), a deposit fee of
£45, certificates or photographs to
support your application, and if
possible a completed application
form which can be downloaded
from www.campamerica.co.uk. If
you would like more information
about Camp America, then you
can contact them at Camp
America, Dept. NA, 37a Queen’s
Gate, London, SW7 5HR. Tel: 020
7581 7333. Web: www.cam-
pamerica.co.uk. So, what are you
waiting for?
So far this semester the finance
team in the Student Advice and
Information service have seen
about 200 students who have
asked for advice and help.
Does this mean that there are
several thousand of you out there
who are managing your money
really well?
If managing your money is no
problem to you, you must have
dreamed up some good money
saving ideas.
PLEASE SHARE THEM WITH
EVERYONE
e-mail us on student-advice@sur-
rey.ac.uk and we will arrange to
publish the printable ones!
Student Advice and Information
Service, (SAIS)
Wey Flat 2, Surrey Court,
Telephone 01483 879261
E-mail student-
advice@surrey.ac.uk
32 Advert 01/02/01
01/02/01
Big Sister
Funtastic friday yet again, didn't fail to
pull my cracker, the traffic lights
showed us that there were a lot of
rather desperate men on the prowl.
The union was a sheet of green and
quite a few girlies joined in the fun.
Stevey, Stevey, your eyes and heart
belong to a first year by the name of
Emily, but even with your green shirt
on, you still didn't manage to take the
plunge. Didn't you realise that green
meant GO, GO, GO!
Well Luke, was it another failed night
on the pull. Or are you secretly after
the notorious birthday girl, although
be careful there may be trouble
ahead, only time will tell.
Is there anyone who would like to see
Caught on Camera
This Week’s Personals
- fluffybunny says can luke m wear a
teddy bear suit to the next fetish night?
-Mignon please forgive me for what I've
done
I'm so sorry I just love you and miss you
very much kb
-'YOU GO AND GET THE DRINKS, I'M
OFF TO PULL SOME BIRDS!!' - Rob at
his
best!!
-Footy training-Mon & Thurs evenings at
Varsity. Be there or be under my patio.
Chairman Darrell P.S. I'll probably kill you
anyway...
- I can exclusively reveal that the
Phantom Flinger is......Jo Nobblet
-Trayscrape would like to thank all the
people who came to see on the saturday,
cheers...Trayscrape
-Congratulations Spidey on getting back
together with your wife. Better than that
Sex, Gossip & The Universe
Kevs, our darling editors, hair get cut
or shaved for a small price to charity,
please reply, after all, one good turn
deserves another. The phantom
flinger indeed!!!!
The cow jumped over the moon, and
the dish ran away with the spoon....to
Bermuda! Well done you lucky pair,
but AJ be careful, after all you would-
n't want anyone to start blackmailing
with that dangerous video that is lurk-
ing around. We aren't jealous at all.
Aspy you have finally been in touch
but where is that dirt, and I don't
mean your mind.
Dan, so you have been dumped by
your beloved but it certainly hasn't
bus ride last term........but no bacon
sandwiches.
-"Fat Busters" - advice on healthy eating
and structuredtargeted weight loss.
Contact Fat Andy on 53138
-Al, who was that honey you were with
on
-Friday? I take it H isn't to know?
-Mickey, 2 can play at stirring the pot,
have you told Claire you love her
recently?
-MISSING Mr D.McNeill last seen in
morning lectures late Nov. Responds to
"Maximus" ,"Wallace" or "Hairy".
-To all those prettygirls at campusport.
Where do you hide the rest of the day?
-Gong Xi Fa Cai Xin Nien Kwai Le!
This year is the Year of the Snake...
If you would like to find out what the year
of the Snake holds for you or
stopped you cracking onto just about
anyone in a skirt....we saw you wink-
ing away, you really should see the
optician if it becomes consistent!!
Anyway everyone, you missed out on
Wednesday night, a midwifes birth-
day proved to have just about every
nurse not on the ward but on the pull,
even the most sought girl on campus,
Heidi. So Nurses has there been any
takers for your dinner dance, remem-
ber nothing is sacred!
Well another week in the making lets
leave it there, but there is still more up
this sleeve.
Tinks on Gorgeous_babe69@hot-
mail.com
what Chinese New Year is all about,
check out the following website:
http://www.chinatown-
online.co.uk/pages/new_year/index.html
-To all BBC's out there... visit a web-
page specially designed for you!
(http://www.britishbornchinese.org.uk)
- Premature ejaculation therapy sought,
please contact Battersea Court
Reception
--Have you seen Jonny lately?
-Jonny be good
-Jonny is coming..
- Lovebite on a roll....
-Is the lamb missing something
- Oi, no Borne level 2
- eh ho, eh ho
33
LIFE AFTER
THE
WOMB
by Rich W
Everything in my life seems to revolving around Tesco’s lately
and I’m not sure whether or not that’s something I should be
worried about or not; I see no reason why that should be the
case, but by the same token, I see no reason why it shouldn’t
be the case either.
Answers on a postcard please.
So the first thing I’ve noticed about that lovely place is that it
really does have a strange effect on people; but it’s not the kind
of four-double-J.D’s-and-coke-so-I-think-I’ll-steal-a-traffic-cone
type of effect, but more the praise-the-man-that-first-sliced-
bread-and-give-him-a-pat-on-the-back type effect. In short -
miraculous.
Picture it - the car pulls into the disabled space just outside the
front of the shop and you can’t help but picture in your mind’s
eye an old man getting out of the car with a walking stick or
some means by which his walking is aided. Instead, what you
see is one of the greatest miracles you could ever see - out
gets a man who proceeds to walk straight into the supermarket
without even the slightest hint of the troubles that had allowed
him to park in the disabled parkling spot - by parking in that
particular space, he has been healed of all his problems.
Miraculous.
Now, once inside Tesco’s , this new man - this man that could
now run for miles who before could not have walked to the
bathroom - even he would be surprised at what I found. Well,
not quite what I found, but more what I realised - did you know
that your average onion, one approximately the size of a
clenched fist, costs just 7p? I’ll write that in words in case you
don’t believe me: seven english sterling pence. I don’t know
about you, but I’m amazed.
Let’s think about it here - some farmer has gone out, planted
the seed thing (not sure if it’s a seed or not, but for my purpos-
es, seed will do) and then cultivated it along with the other hun-
dreds of onions he’s planted. After that loving bit of care, he’s
then shipped them off to some depot where they must have
some sort of quality control and some poor man checking each
onion individually for defects or anything making it unworthy of
presence on a supermarket shelf. It’s then been transported
some other place where it hangs around for a bit and then
turns up on the aforementioned shelf, and you’re telling me that
all of this effort: the farmer, the quality control check person,
the drivers, the grocery replenishment assistants, the check-out
operators and the people that pack for you, you’re telling me all
of this effort is worth 7p? I’m sorry, but that seems a little silly.
I mean, think about it - a 7p onion means that if we all had a
staple diet of just onions, then our weekly shop would cost no
more than £2.50 a week (based on a five onions a day con-
sumption) and Tesco’s would be buggered...I think they need to
reconsider their pricing initiatives...not only to keep themselves
form going bust, but also to make all those people I mentioned
earlier feel better and that they’re efforts equate to more than
just 7p.
Call me sentimental (call me what you want, in fact), but I feel
that would make everything better.
That, and a girlfriend. I think those people are right - I do have
too much time on my hands.
Hiya, it only me (as you Brits say). You may
not have seen me about much, that’s cos you
aint. I tried to get a few people but you lot are
pants at keeping you mouths quiet and all of
them were forewarned, so I didn’t show. I
think in future I’ll have to get the blabbers.
Don’t think I’ve forgotten you lot though. I’ll be
back next week and nobodys safe.
My thanks do go to Kev for suggesting last week that I get
the Big Sister girls, certainly want to, they’ve gossed about me
before, only I don’t know who they are. So if you know email
me and I’ll sort em out. The girls themselves suggested that
Kev has his hair shaved off for charity, splendid, but can you
get his deputy to shave off that crap goatee as well, he’s much
sexier without it.
Well, that’s almost it from me for know. As ever if you know
somebody who should be done, let me know on
phantom_flinger@hotmail.com.
34 Barefacts Pride 01/02/01

BF Team Sporting Profiles

Do any of the bf team have lives outside of the newspaper? Well, find out Alison Danby
as Rich W, Lovebite and Kermit review the sporting lives of bf’s finest. Ultimate sporting
dream: Actually scoring
The bf marketing manager (and wife of editor), better
a try
Luke Hickey know for her performances on double basses (what-
ever they are). Lovebite and Kermit delve into some
Worst injury: being
Mr Deputy Editor apparently has a of her darker secrets
dragged through the
sporting interest relating to that won- mud, took me hours to
derful game of Ultimate (known to Name and age: Alison Danby, 19
get the mud out of my
the rest of us as frisbee) and it was nails
left to me, the poor Rich W, to write Sports: Womens Rugby
his sporting profile. Sporting idol: Ben Mac
Nickname: Miss Piggy, Horny Virgin
Name and age: Luke "lips" Hickey, Most embarrassing
21 (although with that much grey Best feature: Her eyes
sporting moment: admitting that she had pulled
hair you would be forgiven for think- Kermit (editor)
ing 31) What (she) look(s) for in a man or woman: long
hair, general ugliness and the inability to talk properly
Tip: watch out for shit on the pitch
Sports: Ultimate Frisbee, Cricket,
Extreme Sports and keeps reckon- Availability: nope, unless your Brad Pitt
Hidden aspects to (her) sport: playing with funny
ing he'll start playing rugby again shaped balls
when his knee is better Favourite position: hooker (obvious joke)
Worst fear: being picked up by a vulture eagle, car-
Nicknames: Lovebite, Chief, Lexo, Flicky Hickey the Left-Handed Best thing about (her) sport: grappling with other
ried to some far off land where she is forced to swim
Wonder, or any variation on the theme fat cockney bastard women
through shark infested waters, before being picked
up by a Veloceraptor and mulled to death or just spi-
Best feature: he's one of those people who looks really attractive from Worst thing about (her) sport: birds trying to beat
ders
behind her up
Chancellor’s or Roots: Doesn’t drink, totally tee-
What (he) look(s) for in a man or a woman: ability to gargle Best single moment of (her) sporting life:
total
Catching a ball, with almost tackling somebody a
Availability: no, he's only got eyes for one woman (Hannah from S- close second
Ali in three words: Naïve Country Bumpkin
Club 7 or Jo if she's free)
Kevin Marston aerobic running stuff involved
Favourite position: middle of the stack
Best single moment of (his) sporting life: not
Rich W. again, this time sure, although I have heard it said that Kev doesn’t
Best thing about (his) sport: everyone has to listen to what he says
it’s Kev. What do you
'cus he's the chairman strike you as the kind of person normally associated
mean who? He’s the man with sporting activity. No real relevance, I know, but
responsible for putting this
Worst thing about (his) sport: the responsibility (although for every- thought I’d mention it anyway
lovely paper in front of
one else it's having to listen to him bang on every Sunday morning)
your very eyes - show
Ultimate sporting dream: acquisition of left-handed
some respect and bow throwing ability
Best single moment of (his) sporting life: running the length of the
down at the altar that is...
sports hall without perspiring
Worst injury: assuming the sport in this instance to
Name and age: Kevin
Ultimate sporting dream: UniS to host and win an Ultimate tourna- be pint drinking, then the impromptu swallowing of
“the editor” Marston his tongue piercing would have to be the one
ment and him representing Ireland at ultimate
Sports: Ultimate Frisbee, Sporting idol: noodles from “offspring”
Worst injury: failing to notice the fast-approaching wall whilst chasing
Extreme Sports, Scrabble
that little frisbee thing and the subsequent collision with the brick-like
structure Most embarrassing sporting moment: getting lost
Nickname: roadrunner, Kermit (a muppet),
in his hair
Phonetic K
Sporting idol: Stewart Fudge
Tip: don’t run for V.P Comms and Marketing (or any
Best feature: his weekly editorial Sabbatical position for that matter) if you want any
Most embarrassing sporting moment: finding out the wall came off
worse in the aforementioned collision spare time
What (he) look(s) for in a man or woman: the right
number of limbs
Tip: never make friends with a lion-tamer Hidden aspects to (his) sport: frisbees can be
used as alternative forms of tableware.
Availability: allegedly more single than a one way
Hidden aspects to (his) sport: makes you look good on the beach;
ticket Worst fear: waking up in a pool of his own vomit
develops both forehand and backhand wrist techniques
having been visited by the mystery taxi during the
Favourite position: 27 degrees longitude, 31 evening following a night of bhuddist chanting whilst
Worst fear: coming face to face with a horny Thai lady-boy and having
degrees latitude
no real excuse to make a dash for it hopping on each leg alternatively
Best thing about (his) sport: it’s the only reason
Chancellor's or Roots: both Chancellor’s or Roots: the Powerhouse
his day-release forms were certified
Luke in three words: Luke Hickey, CBE Kev in three words: novelty fun pack
Worst thing about (his) sport: slightly too much

David Chapman
The Beach Boys had the right
idea when they sang their ode to
surfer girls. Well, here we have
Surrey’s number one surfer boy,
who also happens to be the bf
sports editor. Lovebite and Kermit
once again expertly pore over his
vital statistics.
Name and age: Dave Chapman,
20
Sports: Surfing, climbing and
cycling
Nickname: Chops, Lamb Chops
Best feature: his lack of dress
sense (stupidly charming isn’t it)
What (he) look(s) for in a man
or woman: A pulse (and a surf-
board)
Availability: yes, yes and yes
(did he mention that he was avail-
able), especially if you’re in
Neighbours
Favourite position: The prone
position
Best thing about (his) sport:
getting wet
Worst thing about (his) sport:
the sewage
Best single moment of (his)
sporting life: becoming bf sports
editor
Ultimate sporting dream: to
learn to dance and have better
hand / eye coordination
Worst injury: Falling off his bike,
dislocating his shoulder and
breaking his arm at the same
time, while managing to land in
some dog shit.
Sporting idol: Luke Hickey (the
levels of dedication he shows to
his fitness is second to none)
Most embarrassing sporting
moment: he played rugby once
Tip: stay on the board
Hidden aspects to (his) sport:
wetsuits
Worst fear: having his chops
(sideburns) shaved off
Chancellor’s or Roots:
Chancellors
Dave in three words: velvety
playgirl model
 01/02/01
UniSPORT News
Campusdance
Ballet II - 6.30-7.45pm Fridays
Street Dance III - 7.30-8.30pm
Wednesdays
Contemporary III - 6.30-8pm
Mondays
Tap II - 7.30-8.30pm Thursdays
UniSPORT Lottery
First draw will be at the end of
February.
The purpose is to raise money for
the Elite Sports Programme, which
helps Surrey students compete in
their chosen sports fields at nation-
al and international level.
£12 pro rata = £1 per month.
Winning prize each month = £150
5 runners-up prizes each month of
£10. Visit the Sport Centre for an
entry form. Be init to winit! (all
winners will be contacted)
Optimum Fitness
Reflexology and the intestinal link
(RAIL)
The stressed western way of living
can cause problems in the intes-
tines and can be the root cause of
a variety of ailments. Constipation,
bowel disorders, skin disorders,
digestive problems, allergies, back
pain, menopausal and menstrual
disorders to name but a few. If you
suffer from intestinal problems, a
new approach and specific tech-
nique in reflexology may be able to
help.
RAIL is available from Gill Bayton,
advanced Practitioner of The
British School Of Reflexology -
01483 452028 or mobile 07866
018920. £25 per one hour session
- book five get one free.
Intramural Sport
All fixtures have started this week.
If you would like to play ‘light heart-
ed’ fun, competitive, mixed sport
please contact your departmental
sports rep who hopefully can find a
place for you in the teams. Frisbee,
mixed netball, pop-lacrosse, 5-a-
side football, touch rugby, bad-
minton, indoor cricket, 6-a-side
football and basketball are all on
the agenda. Good Luck.
Body Max
Places are still available on these
short courses learning how to
increase body strength, coordina-
tion & general fitness by using light
weights.
Teacher: Yvonka Wilkinson
Day & Time: Thursday’s 12 – 1pm
Price: Student/Card - £7.50/£5
Trampoline Championships
20 students for Surrey, from elite
performers to novices will be rep-
resenting Surrey at the Regional
Championships at Bath on Sunday
4th February with the final at
Cardiff on Sunday 11th March.
Good Luck
Congratulations
Well done to the following Surrey
students who recently qualified as
BTF/BG Trampoline Coaches:
Sharon Andrews
Annabel Canaven
John Davis
Ian Kelly
Amanda Lord
Anna Macaulay
Alastair Murray
Kate Park
For further information regarding
coaching qualifications contact
Sally Edie ext. 3917
Surrey Pride 35
Optimum Fitness
Corner
Sports massage, who
and why?
If you ask anyone who has expe-
rienced a massage, they may tell
you it was ‘relaxing’, ‘stimulating’
and ‘pain relieving’, and they
would all be right. There are cur-
rently many types of massage
available. At Optimum Fitness we
offer a variety of these services
catering for different ailments.
Sports Massage, often regarded
purely for the sports person, can
be beneficial to all. A Sports
Massage can be described as which will increase their recovery fatigue
‘specific to the recipients needs’. period from training. - Speeds up recovery from injury
For example students commonly When undertaking an appoint- - Increases elimination of waste
suffer with muscular tension to the ment at Optimum Fitness a full products e.g. lactic acid
upper trapezius and cervical area health consultation and assess- - Improves muscle tone and helps
(neck & shoulders) due to poor ment takes place. The trained ther- breakdown of fatty tissue
posture and hours of studying. apist will concentrate on massag- - Restores elasticity of muscles
This condition can become very ing the areas that are the cause of - Increase training performance
uncomfortable and lead to the problem, Muscular Spasms - Prevention of injury
headaches, migraines, sleepless (knots), Adhesions, Scar Tissue or To book for appointments or for
nights and so on… Past Injuries will become apparent, more information please contact
Whereas the sports person might treated by different pressuring the practice on tel; 01483 452028
have Sports Therapy for injury techniques. Intra Sound may be Or pop in and see us on the 1st
treatment, massage also breaks used, as well as Thermatherapy floor Unisport Sport Centre.
down any ‘scar tissue’ or ‘adhe- (infra Red Lamp). E m a i l
sions’, helping to eliminate waste Benefits unisport_rosie@hotmail.com
products such as ‘lactic acid’, - Releives muscular tension &
Colours Ball in
The Valley?
Although everything is still to be
confirmed for this years Colours
Ball, it looks likely that it will be
held at The Valley. I have just vis-
ited the proposed venue together
with the VP Sports, Sports Chair
and other Sports Executives and if
everything goes according to plan,
the ball will go ahead on Friday 4th
May (the second Friday after the
Easter holidays).
For those who are not familiar
with the Colours Ball, it is the annu-
al get-together for all the sports
clubs. It is also considered by
many to be the best ball of the year
(even when there was greater
competition). The reasons for this
are many.
Firstly it is big, rivaling the Charity
Dinner Dance turn out of around
500.
Secondly it is relatively cheap
and certainly provides great value
for money. Traditionally included in We have a good view of The Valley in all its splender!
the price is transport, three course
meal and entertainments. This end of the run). Not forgetting of fit, toned (well more so than the
year the committee is looking into course, the ever popular vodka general population at least) sports
also including a Champagne louge. This is not only fun for per- men and women?
Reception and wine to accompany sonal use (like the bungee run), Not convinced? Ask a random
the meal. but is also amusing to watch (like sports club member if its one of the
Thirdly but perhaps most impor- the bungee run) as people stumble best nights out in the whole year, if
tantly, are the entertainments. Last away from it having just had a shot its worth the price and if you should
year, for example, we had the or two of ice cold vodka poured go. You will surely find that once
hugely entertaining bungee run straight down their throat (or face someone has been once, they will
(dominated by Shaggy who simply quite often). go again and again. Keep your
walked his way to within a foot or Finaly (again very importantly), it eyes peeled for more details and if
two of the end, calmly placed his is full of gorgeous sporting types. I can make the time, a website.
marker and then let the bungee What could be better than spend-
return him ceremoniously to the ing the night with half a thousand Chops

R OAD S URFING ?
Newquay Trip – 10-11th Feb
The first trip to Cornwall is just a
few weekends away. We will leave
around 8am on Saturday 10th and
return Sunday evening/ night. All
equipment is supplied and the B&B
we stay is very relaxed, show surf
videos or films, provide use of
cooking facilities and offer an all
you can eat breakfast for just £8.
Transport will cost around £13.
Newquay of course offers great
entertainment for Saturday if you
have any energy left from one of
the top quality surf breaks in town
or a short distance both ways up
the coast.
Road Surfing Championships -
Sunday
Sunday will see the first ever
Road Surfing Championships take
part on campus. This will be just
part of the Surf Club social in a few
days, which will also include
watching Deep Blue Sea and if the
weather allows it, Night Frisbee.
We will be meeting in
Chancellors from 6.30 for a couple
of drinks to work up a bit of
courage for some extreme Road
Surfing action. Well a little dabble
in this inaugural sporting event.
The Road Surfing will start at about
7pm between Seasons and Surrey
Court/ Stag Hill (up the hill from the
Union – on the flat bit).
M ENS H OCKEY: V ICTORIOUS
Fortress varsity returned after a
long sabbatical with a commanding
win by the men’s first team over
the chutneys Kenley. The team,
benefiting from a late start, where
inspired for the first ten min, with
Jungle benefiting from, the Pigeon
doing his running with ball trick and
the breathtaking passing of the
detox Duncan, scoring two goals.
Inspired by jungle shooting the
team kept on the pressure, but
failed to capitalise. Only keeping
the two-goal cushion thanks to
some fine short corner defending
by Conan, T’ Doctor, Sonny and
Nipper. Including a superb stop by
the Beaks.
After an inspired team talk from
kempy we fell apart in the second
half, with notable drop in perform-
ance from Freshy, could have hit
the ball, the sicknote Nipper and
the Beaker, who blamed boredom
for his attempted clearance (not in
this goal). Eventually the pressure
told with Beaks closely watching
his far post the chubby striker
The 100th issue! Blimey! And
we have victories to report, a
Colours Ball preview, continued
new sports profiles (keep them
trickling in please everyone), fake
Barefacts team profiles and yet
another desperate attempt on my
behalf to get more people to come
SURREY PRIDE
U LTIMATE F RISBEE
To keep the
ocean in the
frame of things,
P ROFILE
we will go on to Warm up…
watch Deep
Blue Sea at
8pm. This is Name & age: Abby
courtesy of Moulton, 18
OFU, is in
Lecture Theatre
G and costs Nickname: Chucky
£2.50 (if you are
not a member,
four year mem- Best feature: Drinking/
bership will cost throwing arm
just £1 extra). If
you haven’t
heard anything What you look for in a man
about Deep or women: Any signs of life
Blue Sea, it is
basically a story
about genetic Availability: Depends who’s
experiments on asking
sharks going
wrong in a mid
ocean lab. If I
can remember
110%…
from the trailers,
the sharks grow
Favourite position (this question applies to relevent sports only – no innu-
extra big, are
extra intelligent endo intended honestly): Stack
Come and hang ten with the Surf Club
and people get
eaten left, right and center. Details available from
Surf@Surrey.ac.uk, 01483856084, Best thing about your sport: Male dominated
The day will finish up with a spot
of Night Frisbee using a gorgeous 07941035843
new Surfers Against Sewage
Frisbee. Chops Worst thing about your sport: Everyone is better than me
Best single moment in your sporting life: I caught the disc once!!
Ultimate sporting dream: Mastering my forehand
scored from two yards at the near
post. Frantic play followed with the
tireless midfield keeping surreys Worst injury: Luke Hickey falling on me
lead, then up popped the Pigeon
Sporting idol: Jane Torville
Most embarassing sporting moment: Where do I start
Tip: Use both hands!! To catch of course
Hidden aspects to your sport: exercise is involved (no one told me that
bit)
Veterans drink with the left hand but its not just Will using the right.
Cool down…
with a shot that surprisingly leaving a trail of hockey players
creeped over the line. behind.
The celebrations started with Worst fear: Playing a real game
earnest in the varsity with debu- Nipper
tante, MOM, Will showing inexperi-
ence off the field by downing his Ps- the team would like to thank
Chancellors or Roots: Roots
pint right handed !!!! schoolboy mascot Malibu for turning up, it
error. The drinking continued round would not be Saturdays without
the local drinking establishments, you.
You in three words: Crap at frisbee
S PORTING VERNACULAR
along to Surf Club events. will try to include notices as Lovebite’s picture was worse. This Although everything still needs to
I would just like to remind every- promptly as possible but if they are clearly raises questions about the be confirmed, we will probably be
one that the deadline for notices is late, they might not get in on time. photographic skills of Kev and going to The Valley and it looks set
12pm Monday. If you miss this, we Thanks to Hockey, Ultimate Andy, so if you ever need photos to to be yet another great night, with a
can not be responsible for any Frisbee and also Kev for including be taken, try to get someone else small increase in cost but a good
notices being included in that that horrible photo last week when to do them. increase in value for money.
weeks issue. We know how things I was ill and unable to come in and Keep your eyes peeled for further
can be arranged at late notice and finish the sports pages. Apparantly details of this years colours ball. Chops