28/02/02 The University of Surrey Students’ Newspaper www.ussu.co.

uk Issue no: 1027 FREE

UniS or Uni$? - Accomodation Price
Accelerator Exposed - Page 3

NO
News In Brief
BY MICHAEL CHAMBERS

SURRENDER
Train Disaster Kills 373

An electrical short-circuit was to blame for a

devastating fire which swept through an Egyptian
express train, killing 373 people. The train was
packed to twice its capacity when it caught
fire shortly after leaving Cairo for Luxor last

Wednesday. The cause of the accident was initially
believed to be the responsibility of passengers
using portable cookers, however this theory was
virtually ruled by evidence of electrical circuit fail-
ure in one of the passenger carriages. Investigators
found that carriages were not equipped with fire
alarms, extinguishers, or emergency brakes or
windows. Egyptian president, Honi Mubarak, has
tried to reduce the public’s anger over the disaster
by promising to punish anyone found to have been
negligent. Egypt’s Transport Minister and the head
of the country’s railway authority both resigned
last Friday. Nearly 200 bodies were identified and
taken away by relatives for private burials, but
many of the remains were beyond recognition. A
mass funeral for the unidentified victims was held
over the weekend.
Byers Under Pressure To Resign
UK Transport Secretary Stephen Byers was under
pressure to resign this week following the contro-
versy surrounding the resignations of transport
communications director Martin Sixsmith and
special adviser Jo Moore, announced by Mr. Byers
on the 15th of February. Mr Sixsmith insists he did
not agree to go in the first place and was promised
no announcement by Mr Byers. According to Mr.
Byers, Mr. Sixmith had to leave as a result of his
dealings with Ms Moore, who was Mr Byers’
personal spin doctor. On the 11th September, Ms
Moore sent an e-mail suggesting to colleagues it
was a good day to “bury” bad news, she apologised,
kept her job and the row dissipated. Recently, on
the 14th of February, Ms Moore sent an e-mail to
Mr Sixsmith proposing that news about the poor
state of transport be released on the day of Princess
Margaret’s funeral - she initially denied the e-mail.
Byers said he regretted giving the impression dur-
ing a television interview on Sunday that he had
played no role in the discussions leading up to the
departure of Mr Sixsmith, when in fact he had. He
said “I am clear that Martin Sixsmith, in the way
that he conducted himself in the department, was
not a suitable person to remain in government”.
The Prime Minister, who had talks with Mr.
Byers on Tuesday, has dismissed Mr. Sixsmith’s
allegations that the Transport Secretary lied over
his resignation, and has expressed his support for
Mr. Byers. Theresa May, the Opposition transport
spokeswoman said “Just what does it take for
you to go? You are content to stay at any price, a
despised secretary of state that no-one trusts and
no-one will deal with”.
Regulars
News 1-3
Letters 4
Barearts 6-12
Services 14
Sport 16
ON FEES
Reuben Thompson
News and Political Editor
On Wednesday, a group of thirty stu-
dents accompanied by sabbaticals John
Geeson and James Buller attended
this years’ NUS national rally with
a total group of over 7,000 students.
Participants had been told to wear red
to show just how angry students are at
having to put up with living below the
poverty line.
Once again, the Surrey group was
(marginally) late and joined the march
towards the back, but still had an excel-
lent opportunity to help make the posi-
tion clear on student funding: it’s not
fair and it’s not good enough.
Chanting and mocking the govern-
ment were the order of the day, with
new chants for this year including the
inspired “Hey, Tony!” to the tune of DJ
Otzi’s inspired pop hit “Hey, Baby”.
Having made its way through the city,
the march assembled in Trafalgar Square The NUS Team Get Involved
where the crowd was addressed by several the NATFE union, who represent a large deciding the fate of a whole new genera-
important speakers—Ken Livingstone, number of lecturers. At every mention of tion of students.”
the mayor of London; David Rendel, the the Prime Minister’s name, there were At present, the government is plan-
Lib Dem spokesman; and the head of shouts of “Tory” and “Traitor”. ning a major review of student funding
Finance sabb in England and Wales, and is widely
John Geeson expected to introduce not only some form
commented, “It’s of top up grant for the very poor, but also
great that we can commercial interest on Student Loans.
all stand together This could mean that instead of a real
united against the terms zero increase in your borrowing as
system, where we happens now (we simply pay inflation),
can make a big you could be charged the same kind of
impact.” rate that parents pay on mortgages.
NUS President To sum up, let’s not forget what Ken
Owain James Livingstone said at last year’s march:
said “It is vital “Not one MP in the House of Commons
that students keep paid for their University education. Let’s
pressure on those not let them pull the ladder up behind
at the top who, them.”
ultimately, will be
USSU students get involved
 2 News 28/02/02

Editor
Editorial Team To Pay Or Not To Pay... ...that is the cliche
Tristan O’Dwyer
Deputy Editor
Richard Watts
Following the march in London this week, we offer two different approaches to the ‘problem’ that is “tuition fees”
News and Political Editor Last week’s march Let’s first deal with the idealism. I believe that leads to many potentially talented individuals
Reuben Thompson in London sent a education is not a commodity and it should not only missing out on an opportunity of their
Music Editor clear message to not be seen as an “investment” in order to help own, but also society missing out on the use of
Kevin Marston
the Government. get a better paid job. Human kind has always that individuals talents.
Film Editor
Students should not been curious, and society should be encourag- There is also the issue of research. With
Navroop Sehmi
Sports Editor have to pay tuition ing this, rather than saying that it should have a mounting debts, it will become increasingly
Dave Chapman fees. But it’s not cost. Higher education should be seen as some- hard to persuade people to stay in higher edu-
Production Editor only students who thing that people go into because they want to cation and take on Phds. This could potentially
Vacant believe this. The learn more about what interests them and about lead to a big drop in quality and amount of
Features Editor governments big- how the world works. By charging people to fundamental research being carried out, which,
Vacant Tristan O’Dwyer gest criticism on go to University you take away this impres- in time could again lead to the country and the
Arts Editor the doorstep from sion and people will only go to University for world missing out on some potentially useful
Vacant Editor students and non- selfish reasons – to get a degree and earn more discoveries.
students alike, at money than the next man! With the government wanting 50% of school
Contributors the last election was of its handling of student However, there are also many pragmatic leavers to enter H.E. then surely it must realise
finance. The Daily Mirror has recently come reasons why I believe paying tuition fees is that its policies on student funding are ludi-
out in support of the NUS’ campaign, and counterproductive. First of all, there are many crous, and need looking at urgently. And their
BAREFACTS@USSU.CO.UK
many leading commentators believe tuition reports that show that people from less well off first priority should be – SCRAP TUITION
fees are a bad idea. backgrounds are being put off by the cost of FEES.
There are several reasons why I too hold this going to University and by the high debts that
view, some idealistic and some pragmatic. many graduates have when they leave. This
barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper,
published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union
Communications Office. A fairly standard reaction to the matter of tui- for higher education (who, generally speaking, about tuition
The views expressed within the paper are those of tion fees is that we should not have to pay them are more than likely paying taxes and work- fees, I find most
individual authors, and do not necessarily repre- and that, quite frankly, is that. Though a seem- ing full-time for a living) and the parallels we people are in
sent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board,
the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the
ingly flawless argument (“why should we have can draw between their lives and ours, let us the latter camp
University of Surrey. to pay for education?” etc. etc.) there are a few consider only our own situation and determine and are thus
This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in points that I feel are being over-looked, and it precisely where the majority of our cash goes. arguing for the
part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without is these that I would like to share with you. Without even considering tuition fees, we can reintroduction
the express permission
of the publisher.
Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, I think include accommodation, food and entertain- of a grant as
it appropriate that we question why we feel we ment as expenses that all need to be accounted opposed to the
All submissions must include the author’s name and should not have to pay tuition fees – what fun- for. Taking a very rough estimate of each of abolishment
Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee
of publication. damental reason is there for us to not contribute the above, including the remarkably conserva- of tuition fees.
Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be to the beneficial process that we are under- tive estimate of £20 a week “drinking money”, Therein lies the
published.
barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. taking? By the time we have entered higher we find our expenditure from these areas to be problem – what
© USSU Communications Office 2001 education, at the age of eighteen or so, we in the region of around £3000, or the majority is it that we
are already the beneficiaries of some fourteen of a student loan, if you will. Observing this, are actually Richard Watts
Deadline for Publication
years of free education (excluding those whose you would expect these outgoings to be the asking for? Deputy Editor
Features and Arts: Friday 2pm
attendance at a private school was deemed perfect argument for the abolishment of tui- Perhaps our
News: Monday 2pm
necessary by parents unwilling to accept the tion fees, what with the latter accounting for requirements
SubmissionOn disk / email in current schooling system as adequate) and at another £1000 or so on top, but what seems are something we need to address first, then,
Word 6.0 Format, Text in Times New no point would we have had to contribute to to be neglected here, and this, I feel, is the before signing any petitions on a website or
Roman, size 9.5 font national funds (i.e. paid tax). Quite why we fundamental point of it all, is that the £3000 demonstrating on an “abolishment march.” Let
should feel it just, therefore, to claim we should mentioned earlier would still be required, were us ask ourselves the question: do we oppose
barefacts receive another four or five years free education we attending university or not. Are people paying money, or paying for education?
Union House, from the government (which, after all, is hardly moaning about the principle behind paying for
University Of Surrey compulsory) I simply do not know – I find it education, therefore, or for the fact they are
Guildford, quite bemusing, in fact, to be perfectly honest. having to increase their expenditure in order to
Surrey, Without considering those that did not opt successfully complete a degree? When talking
GU2 7XH

Tel: 01483 689275

Fax: 01483 534749
email: barefacts@ussu.co.uk
School Of Engineering To Lose Jobs
Do you have a complaint
against this newspaper?
If you have a complaint about any item
In “New Strategy”
BY TRISTAN O’DWYER Applications for engineering across the country have been in sharp de-
in this newspaper which contains inac-
curacy, harassment, intrusion or dis- Editor cline, decreasing more than 30% in the last five years. However, engineer-
crimination write to our editor about it. ing at Surrey will not be entirely scrapped, and new courses which teach
The University engineering department is set to make a series of job cuts, broader based skills, such as IT, business management and communica-
If you remain dissatisfied please contact
UniS has recently announced. tions, will be introduced. The University see this as creating a “new learn-
the Press Complaints Commission - an
independant organisation established to Currently employing around 140 people, the School of Engineering is ing environment”, which would see a return of the ‘learning by problem
uphold an editorial Code of Practice for looking to lose around 20% of its work force, mainly through natural solving’ methods and more group work. A statement embodying the vision
the Press. This newspaper will abide by wastage (not replacing retiring staff) and moving staff to other University of the new school has been released:
their decision. departments. There is however the prospect that redundancies will need to “To be an Engineering School of the highest international standard which
Press Complaints Commission
be made, although the University is quick to stress that all will be done to will be regarded as a Centre of Excellence for the education and training
1 Salisbury Square ensure that as many of these will be voluntary as possible. The losses will of engineering students fit for the challenges and opportunities of the 21st
London EC4Y 8JB occur across the board, including both academic and support staff. Century and carrying out research of the highest international quality to
Telephone: 020 7353 1248 It would appear that the cuts are to be made in response to signs that the serve the needs of a society which is increasingly technologically based
Fax: 020 7353 8351
engineering industry is undergoing significant changes. A new “strategy” and environmentally aware.”
Printed by South West Wales for engineering at Surrey, launched by Vice-Chancellor Patrick Dowling, As well as losing jobs, the department will be required to reduce the total
Publications Ltd, needs to respond to the emerging market, to attract more student applica- space it occupies by 36%, most of which is located in buildings AA and
Adelaide Street, Swansea tions (which the University is currently having trouble doing), and to re- AB.
Tel: 01792 510000 position engineering research.
28/02/02 3
Shocking Uni$ Car Burns Outside
Accommodation AP Building
Price Accelerator BY TRISTAN O’DWYER
Editor

Exposed A car caught fire on campus outside the AP building on the afternoon of tuesday 26th February.
As ever, Barefacts was quickly on the scene to fin dout what happened.

A social exclusion policy?

According to a fire officer on the scene a fire burnt in the engione compartment of the Peugeot
205, but the cause was unknown. A bus driver following the car noticed flames coming from the
exhaust of the car and flagged down the driver before calling the fire brigade.
BY JOHN GEESON Two officers wearing breathing apparatus quickly put the fire out and no one was injured. The
VP Finance and Development fire officers were however seriously concerned about the suspension of the car. Apparently a
common problem with 205’s, when on fire, is that the suspension can sometimes give was and
A recent meeting between sabbaticals and senior university management has uncovered are can come shooting through the bonnet of the car. This can obviuously be quite dangerous, but
rather sinister student accommodation policy – the Uni$ student rent price accelerator. The fortunately in this case was not a problem.
price accelerator policy is simple: to increase prices of accommodation at double the rate of
inflation for the next 5 years.

The policy, which is 4 years old, is set to continue for another five years at the very least. With
rent prices in University Court of over £ 303 per month, how much higher can we go? A 15 %
increase in the last four years applied to the next four years could see the rents for our en-suite
accommodation nearing the £ 350 mark in 2006. Basically, the sky is the limit.

In the University’s defence, they do have their budgets to stick to. Extra money cannot be
raised from the University (with Uni$$$ reserves over £112,000,000) as the accommodation
office has its money ‘ring fenced’. This means it has to find its own cash for essential main-
tenance. And essential maintenance it is, because when you complain to a court attendant that
your window is leaking, and they give you a towel, you know there is a problem. As a sab-
batical and student representative, I tabled a number of questions to the accommodation bods.
They seemed to talk about their budgets a lot, but it is the student budget the matters to me. By
affording the extra money in rent, what are we not affording? One less book? Less study time,
to work to help cover that extra rent? These are the questions Uni$ need to ask itself when
addressing the rather woeful statistic of worst application rate in the whole of the country.

Mugabe Planning
The University is committed to the government policy of ‘Widening (university) Participation’.
For this policy to work students from less privileged backgrounds need to attend university
for certain government targets to be met. With the shocking University accommodation price
accelerator can this be achieved? The answer I feel is obvious. People from less affluent back-
grounds find themselves socially excluded. Uni$ need to reconsider pricing policy, and it is

Escape Route
the student bodies duty and responsibility to shout-out for those priced-out. The Uni$ stance
on accommodation pricing is contributing to the already large student debt, going against
government policy and scaring potential students away from what could be a “rising star in
higher education”.

Have your say, Student Council, Thursday 14th March, 1 pm. BY MICHAEL CHAMBERS

Kennedy Calls For

News Correspondant

President Mugabe is believed to be ready to flee Zimbabwe after his private polling predicted
he could be defeated in next month’s elections. The ailing 78-year-old has been sounding out

Quick Euro Vote As

some of his African neighbours and his dwindling number of friends abroad about providing
him with a safe haven. Fearing his opponents might try to jail him before he had a chance
to slip into exile, Mr Mugabe reluctantly agreed that overtures should be made to opposi-
tion rivals. He is said to have asked President Obasanjo of Nigeria to arrange a deal about

Party Splits his future at an extraordinary late-night meeting in Zimbabwe’s capital, Harare, last month,
where Morgan Tsvangirai, the presidential candidate for the opposition was present. Mr
Tvangirai, who has survived several assas-
sination attempts, agreed to go to the meet-
BY MICHAEL CHAMBERS
ing only after he was given guarantees for
News Correspondant his own security by President Obasanjo. The
deal also guarantees that Mr Mugabe’s wife,
Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy is upping pressure for an early Euro referendum by Grace, and his three children can leave, but
suggesting a date for the vote for the first time. In a speech on Monday, Mr Kennedy called the opposition leader insists he will ensure
for Tony Blair to have the “courage of his convictions” and hold the referendum on 5 June that Mr Mugabe does not take any looted
next year. His proposal was announced during the same week that the Britain in Europe group money and treasures with him. At his rallies,
released plans for a poll on 1 May 2003. So far the government has only said it will complete Mr Mugabe refuses even to countenance
its economic tests for joining the single currency by June next year, Kennedy claims nearly all defeat, but his closest advisers are saying
the five economic tests have already been met. He said “There’s every reason to suppose that that despite a campaign of intimidation he is
conditions can be met and that we can hold a referendum in 2003”. Mr Kennedy’s comments facing the end of his 22-year rule. Rumours
come after a cross-party campaign group said key Lib Dem MPs, including senior figures in circulate in Harare, that Mr. Mugabe ha the
the party, were secretly planning to ditch their support for the single European currency. New crew of his presidential helicopter on 24-
Europe claimed it had assurances from many Lib Dem MPs that they would back a no vote if a hour standby and the aircraft is parked on the
referendum was held in the current parliament. The news maintains rumours of deep divisions lawn of State House should a swift getaway
emerging over European policy within the party. Charles Kennedy, in his effort to prevent a be needed.
split in the party, wants Britain to join the Euro as soon as possible.
 4 Letters and Sex On Campus 28/02/02

Sex On Campus; Episode Two - Life with my other half

Okay I complain about being single all the time, infact some
people would say that I’m obsessed by the fact. Yes I am
bloody well obsessed. I am not happy being single and hence
I write this article when I could well be down the cinema on
a Sunday evening with all the happy couples, watching some
drab movie staring George Clooney or Brad Pitt. You’re all
fantasizing about them and not your partners, I know!
I’ve realised something though. I have a part of me (like
a growing abscess) that needs feeding, cleaning, maintain-
ing and being carefully dressed in all the finest attire that
Top Man has to offer. My other half is my FAT! In fact I’m
sure that the only thing coming between intercourse and me
is the four tyre tracks that seem to inflate every time the
pump starts to extend (use your imagination people). So I’ve
decided that the fat has to go, and the way I’m gonna do it
is by wearing the finest, brightest, strechiest, skimpiest piece
of lycra (and no I’m not going to the Elm Tree in town, I’m
going to the gym). I’ve had this unisport card in my wallet
and, well, I should at least attempt to use it once this year or
it would have been a complete waste of money, right? I’m
sure that burning a few calories a day, building up a sweat, is
gonna be good for my body and my mental health problems
(sorry that’s state, mental state). And if I’m right (like all
health magazines write) even the littlest amount of exercise
is a good start, and can be rewarded. So if I burn one of the
four mars bars I’ve eaten today, I can reward myself with
another. That’s bloody great – cool!
Okay to cut a long story short, I went to the gym, after
climbing all those bloody stairs, after swiping the damn card
for about half an hour before I realised that the machine
doesn’t work, after getting through the barrage of gym
queens (Or are they the staff?) I managed to get my saggy
ass on the exercise bike. Well the gym was definitely what
the doctor ordered. I was building up a sweat and the blood
was definitely rushing around certain muscles that have laid
dormant for a while. But fellow students don’t get me wrong,
it wasn’t the exercise bike making me feel this way (I don’t
think it was plugged in) it was all the incredibly attractive
people in there. I think the air conditioning was working fine
but I could still smell the pheromones in the air. I was by
far the fattest lard arse in there, and some of sights were a
true shocker. The use of the step machine for example - yes
it may get you in great shape eventually but man did I see
some arse wobble. Ladies if haven’t realised it yet, nobody’s
watching the TV’s (that’s televisions), they’re all looking at
the tight ass on the step machine. Men come on, even though
I couldn’t lift, is there really any need for all that screaming,
shouting, manly bonding when one of you gets down and
pumps some steel? I thought I was in heaven.
I’ve come to a conclusion: healthy living is great. Buying
my true trouser size is easier. Low fat eating is a good idea
but nice food is fatty. Being single is lonely, but being myself
is the best company. I know its good to make yourself look
better, but is it really wise to change so much of yourself
for somebody who doesn’t even exist yet? I don’t think so.
I want to be able to find somebody who loves me for all my
excess baggage (maybe they could carry some of it for me).
I don’t want to be in a relationship based on looks alone, as
we all know looks don’t last, even though Botox is getting
cheaper. What I’m scared of the most though is waking up
in a couple of years and not recognising the person in the
mirror. I don’t want to be the “other half “. I want to be Alex
who is having a relationship with so and so. The “other half”
so makes the individual not feel complete. I am sure we’ll all
still exist during the relationship and after, whether we be fat
or thin. It doesn’t take a relationship to make us feel whole or
complete, it takes being happy first. Enough said. Until Sex
on Campus Episode 3. I won’t be seeing you in the gym.
Alex Callice.

Letters to the Editor Letters must be received by 5pm on the

Friday before publication to guarentee their
presence in the next newspaper. So there.

Stop, Thief! Dear Students.

I have to say I was some what concerned and

Dear Editor,
In response to the letter (Issue 1026) complaining
about beverage prices in the Union I would like to
make a couple of comments. I can honestly say
that I don’t know how much we buy our products
in for, but I believe that the prices from the sup-
pliers have gone up considerably in the last year.
Before anyone suggests changing suppliers, we
can’t. As a member of the NUS, USSU can only
buy from approved suppliers, these are Scottish
Courage (1664), Bass (Carling, Worthingtons,
Beamish and PPS ), Waverleys (wines and spirits
and Strongbow (I think – Shaggy will correct
me if I am wrong!)). I do know the average
markup (which I shall not divulge as I don’t feel
it is information that the general public needs to
know) and it is not greatly different to any other
Students Union or Public House.
One of the chief reasons the prices remain where
Dear Sir,
I am saddened to read that a student and
Chancellors employee is deeply dissatisfied with
they are is inconsiderate members of bar staff
(such as the erstwhile letter writer last week) giv-
ing away free drinks to satisfy their friends. This
costs us hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds a
year in lost revenue and is also theft.
Adding to this are the irresponsible and reckless
individuals who find it necessary to vandalise and
deface Union property, repairs are not free and
someone has to pay the price, unfortunately that
someone is every other user of the facilities.
If prices are ever to come down then theft from
the bars and vandalism in general need to stop, if
this includes culprits being banned or losing their
jobs then on their own heads be it, it can only lead
to a better Union for the rest of us.
Yours Faithfully,
Dan Driscoll (USSU Cellar Staff)
under 21s). We are flexible, patient and cater for
student welfare.
I must address the issue about giving away free
beer. Are you aware that Surrey students are pay-
saddened to read in last weeks Barefacts that
a student employed by the Union feels that
it is acceptable to STEAL from his fellow
students. The member of staff who feels that
due to the cost of drinks he can give away
free drinks is in fact STEALING from 9000+
students at Surrey. The members of the club
own all the stock we hold and that’s every
student at Surrey.
Quote: “drinks that are given away by
sympathetic staff like myself”. Does this
thief give drinks to everyone or only to their
friends?
As for the cost price of Kronenberg being
only 40p that is misleading rubbish. It’s dou-
ble that plus V.A.T. to be added to the selling
price. Therefore we are left with circa 89p per
pint. On top of that we have to run the Union.
During happy hour Carling is only £1.20p
a pint and £1.59 at other times. I don’t feel
these are rip off prices when you compare
with the bulk of pubs on the high street. Our
aim is to try and give everybody a balanced
value for money Union.
This Union has come a long way since the
bad losses of 1999/2000 and is starting to
regain a stronger financial position which
will allow us to develop the long term direc-
tion of the union and put more money back
into students life. We have tried to give
value for money. All price were reduced in
January 2001, and even though our suppliers
have increased their prices to us we have not
passed them on. We need the support of every
student and every member of staff.
If this THIEF in our midst wants to change
things they can join club committee (there
are vacancies) or they can task the president
at student council, subject to a vote, to look
into pricing. Not take the law into there own
hands.
If as this THIEF states “ the current state of
affairs greatly saddens me to a point of almost
hatred to the place” he should do his fellow
students and us a favour by resigning. Or is
that to honorable a thing to do in this day and
age? All I can say is that things have a habit
of coming out and these people will be found
out and sacked for THEFT.
Bob Anderson
General Manager

Union Beer prices. To clarify a few issues, a pint
of Kronenberg costs 75p, not 40p a pint to buy
in. This 75p pint has to be fully costed out. We
need to pay bar staff, admin support (to process
the money) and pay lighting and other such costs.
Don’t forget, the £ 250, 000 chancellors re-fit
(1998) and major Union Re-decoration during
last summer. So in short the £ 1.99 retail charge is
the cheapest non-promotional pint in Guildford,
with pubs like the Five & Lime charging a mas-
sive £ 2.90.
Reading between the lines, you are unhappy
about the pay and benefits at chancellors. As
a former student and employee of Chancellors
I’ll remind you that pay is up 27 % on the 1998
hourly rate. The cost of a pint is down 10 %. We
pay 40 pence per hour above minimum wage (for
ing the price for you contempt of Chancellors?
Beers IS more expensive because you are stealing
it, thus you are stealing money from ALL Surrey
students who use the Union! Do me a favour and
resign. We don’t want thieves behind the bar. This
is the STUDENTS Union, we are here for you, so
why steal from us?
I am doing a “Union Money Awareness” Student
council in week nine, so come along! Also there
is a Club Committee which influences prices, so
if you have any genuine concern, come and repre-
sents your peers instead of stealing from them!
John Geeson
Vice-president
Finance & Development
Ben’s Back
Hi! It’s me again.
Welcome to the first semester of 2002 ( I
know it’s a bit late, since we’ve been back for
weeks now, but……………).
I hope everyone enjoyed themselves over
the Christmas break. I’m currently in my final
year, and I will be graduating this summer. I
would like to thank everyone involved in the
60s evening on January 23rd. It was a very
enjoyable evening. The 60s DJ was wonder-
ful, and I hope that similar theme nights
will be organised in the near future. I have
enjoyed the various “ents” during my time as
a student here. During my time here, I have
entered the talent contest twice, and I had fun
on both occasions
Finally, I would like to say: good luck
to anyone taking exams over the next few
months.
Benjamin Yoong
28/02/02 Feature 5

International Week - Spread the word

Spread the word, because the University of Surrey’s annual international week is here
once again from Monday 4th March. This will be a fun packed week, full of music,
dancing, eating and drinking. Forget ’80 days around the world’ we bring you the
world in 7 days. Give your taste buds the chance to explore some of the world’s fin-
est cusines on Exhibition Night. Test your world knowledge at Chancellor’s special
international quiz night. Learn about world customs, clothes, music, dances and
traditions at the ever popular International Gala Show. And finally end the week
with a bang dancing to the beats of the world from Latin to R ‘n’ B vibes, Hellenic to
Asian fever and Arabic to Chinese music at the Global Tour international party. So
regardless of where you are from, UK, Japan, Outer Mongolia or even Mars, be there
or be square.

Simple International Recipes

Bored of eating beans on toast every night? Have you exhausted all the possible com-
binations of items from the One Stop? Can’t afford to eat out every night? Well, never
fear, because this week we bring you a couple of recipes from around the world for
you to try.

International Week Planner

Monday 4th March: EXHIBITION NIGHT (7-11pm Main Union)
Tuesday 5th March: INTERNATIONAL QUIZ NIGHT (9pm Chancellors)
Wednesday 6th March: GREEK CONCERT (University Hall)
Friday 8th March: INTERNATIONAL GALA SHOW (7pm University
Hall)
Nordic dish Saturday 9th March: GLOBAL TOUR (international party 9pm-2am Main
Union)
Meat patties/Meat balls with gravy. (4 persons)
500g minced beef
1 tsp salt
1 tsp freshly ground pepper
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tbsp potato flour
2.5 dl water
1 egg
fat for frying
Mix the beef with the spices and potato flour, and add the water a little at a time. Stir in
the lightly beaten egg. Shape fairly large patties and brown them on both sides. Place
the meat patties in the gravy and let them simmer for 5-10 min before serving.

Gravy
2 1/2 tbps butter
2 1/2 tbsp flour
5 dl meat juices or stock
Brown the flour and butter well in a cast-iron pan. Stir constantly. Bring the meat
juices or stock to the boil. Add the browned mixture of butter and flour, and beat Nigerian Peanut Soup Directions
1 In 1-quart saucepan add broth and chili pep-
until smooth. Let the sauce cook for about 10 min. Add salt and pepper to taste. A
Prep Time: approx. 15 Minutes. Cook Time: pers and
touch of cream makes a good addition, but this is optional.
approx. 30 Minutes. bring mixture to a boil. Stir in bell pepper
Ready in: approx. 45 Minutes. Makes 4 serv- and onion and
Lebanese dish ings. return to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover,
and let simmer
For a starter than for a meal: Ingredients: until vegetables are tender, about 10 min-
it is called “moutabbal”. You grill aubergines then you peal them, and smash them. 950 ml chicken broth utes.
You mix them with Tahine, olive oil, lemon and 1 smashed garlic with salt. Better 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
eaten cold. 74 g chopped green bell pepper 2 Reduce heat to lowest possible temperature;
80 g chopped onion add peanut
130 g crunchy peanut butter butter and cook, stirring constantly, until
peanut butter is
melted and mixture is well blended.
 This Week: Summer Festival News
Films: Vanilla Sky, A Beautiful Mind,
Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Ghum Reviews
Music: Album of the Week A - Hi Fi Serious
Single of the Week Scrotum Grinder - Dirty
Scrut

This year Glastonbury Festival is

back with a vengeance, along with
all the usual suspects such as the
Reading/Leeds Carling Weekender,
Festival Season Is Almost Upon Us (Yay!)
V2002, Creamfields not to men-
tion Homelands, Gatecrasher, and
Essential amongst other more local
festivals such as Guildford Live
2002 or the newly restored Isle Of
Wight Festival. So here is a run
down of the rumours of acts that are
playing at the festivals, from the sub-
lime to the down right ridiculous.

Glastonbury Festival this year, takes

place on 28-30 June 2002 and looks
set to have the usual diverse range
of music that has kept it going for
all this time. Amongst the rumours
this year, are that Dido, Rod Stewart,
Neil Young, Radiohead and festival
favourite Rolf Harris all look set to
play. Other not so strong rumours
are that Moby and The Prodigy are
also set to play. The Charlatans have
confirmed that they will play on the
Friday night.

Reading/Leeds Carling Weekender

starts on 23 August and looks set to
have Foo Fighters, Blur, New Order,
Incubus, The Prodigy and Linkin
Park, among it’s line-up. The less
strong rumours are that garbage,
Andrew WK and The Offspring are
all set to play over the weekend.

V2002 takes place on the 17-18

August and at the moment only has
a few bands rumoured to play over
the weekend. The bands that are
rumoured to be playing are, Oasis,
Stereophonics, Elbow, Ryan Adams
and Sophie Ellis Bexter. Like the
Reading/Leeds weekender, V2002 is
set up at 2 sites, these are Highlands
Park, Chelmsford and Weston Park,
Staffordshire. A rumour that has
neither been confirmed or denied by
both festival organisers or band is
that U2 will hopefully be playing.
Creamfields looks set to take place
on 24 August at Liverpool Airfield
and so far Timo Maas and Faithless
have been rumoured to play but the
official line-up will be announced on
27 February.
Essential festival (Bristol) takes
place on 4-6 May and then there
will be another Festival. The Bristol
Festival has been split up into three
different days of music, 4 May sees
Dance Day, 5 May sees an indie rock
day and 6 May sees a roots day so it
looks set to cover a wide variety of
tastes. Dance Day sees Judge Jules,
Lisa Pin Up, Lisa Lashes, Lost
Witness and Afro Celt Sound System
all set to play. Indie Rock Day sees
Therapy, Six By Seven, Randy, and
Hundred Reasons are all set to play.
Roots Day sees Johnny Clarke, Afro
Celt Sound System, Dreadzone and
Crazy Penis are all set to play.
Isle Of Wight Festival starts on 3 June
and lasts for 2 weeks. The rumours
of people playing so far go like this,
David Bowie, The Charlatans, Ash,
Manic Street Preachers, Placebo,
Pulp, Stereophonics, The Hives and
White Stripes.
Homelands takes place 1 June and
so far the acts playing are Basement
Jaxx, Oxide & Neutrino, Roger
Sanchez, Soft Cell, Beta Band and
Stanton Warriors along with So Solid
Crew. Julia Walker

Competition Time
Win an Eastern break with To be in with a chance of winning, just send your name, college and email address
to easternbeats@nus-ents.co.uk

Tiger Eastern Beats At each of the tour dates and launch nights their will be a further opportunity to
get your hands on a Tiger Eastern Beats exclusive free mix CD from Distinctýive
Tiger Beer have teamed up with progressive breaks label ‘Distinctive Breaks’ and
Breaks when you buy four Tiger Beers from your union bar, and a chance to win
NUS Ents to present the Tiger Eastern Beats national competition.
instant prizes including stickers, CDs and t-shirts.
The Tiger Eastern Beats national competition is part of the Tiger Eastern Beats
students’ union club tour and Y4k Tiger launch nights, which will be bringing an
element of mystery and cultural intrigue fused with cutting edge breaks music, to
USSU on March 8th.

Prizes for the Tiger Eatern Beats National Competition include:

1st prize STA Travel holiday for two in Bangkok -

including flights and accommodation
2nd prize PlayStation®2 games console
plus Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon DVDs
3rd prize A selection of Mahirishi clothing
28/02/02 Single Reviews 7
also includes a cover of ‘Eight Days

SINGLES A Week’ and is likely to

THE SUPERNATURALS
What We Did Last Summer (Koch
International)
Funnily enough it was these guys,
not Tetra Splendour, who were with
EMI 5 years ago when they released
‘Smile’ (you know it, the song from
all those internet banking ads!).
Things have changed since then: gone
are the big name record companies
and the happy clappy singles – ‘What
We Did Last Summer’ is a somewhat
darker, edgier and even more infec-
tious tune. Very noice. 8/10 S.P.
THE DANDY WARHOLS
Get Off (Capitol)
Another annoyingly infectious
release from the band that like to use
the powers of advertising to infiltrate
your subconscious. Instincts tell you
not to like this stomp-a-long, thigh-
slapping, country-pop hybrid, but
after a few spins you catch yourself
singing along to the “oompa-loompa”
style chorus that could easily have
you confused with one of Willy
Wonker’s finest workers. The single
CORNERSHOP
RECOMMENDED
success of last year’s
theme tune ‘Bohemian
build on the
advertising
Like You’.
7/10 M.R.
KARATE
Cancel / Sing (Southern Records)
Two songs, twenty-five minutes. It’s
a kind of abstract and haunting, if
somewhat melodic venture into slow
jazz meets indie. Casual and repeti-
tive though and it does become a bit
of a chore and require a bit of patience
to listen to but certainly not bad, even
if it is very slow. One for lovers of
instrumental and calm tracks with an
eerie twist. 7/10 O.Z.
ZERO 7
Distractions (Ultimate Dilemma)
If you haven’t yet heard Zero 7’s
excellent debut album ‘Simple
Things’, stop reading this review and
do it now dammit! Their fourth sin-
gle, ‘Distractions’, utilises the sultry
vocals of Sia, and yet again sends
you nodding into their wonderfully
chilled world of electronic loveliness.
8/10 A.T.S.
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
SCROTUM GRINDER
Dirty Scrut EP (Rabid Badger)
Quite a remarkable release this; put out by the
frequently ace Fierce Panda offshoot label, this
is the sound of a fat, hairy, grotesque thug not
entirely unlike Andrew W(an)K with his bol-
locks stuck in a rusty vice, bellowing like he’s
just had his pint spilt in some filthy backstreet
Dickensian London pub. Simultaneously rau-
cous, detestable and tumultuous, it’s even got
some industrial grinding noises in the back-
ground! Cliched biker cheese metal at its fero-
cious best. BAAAAARRRRRRGHHHH!!!
9/10 M.F.
LAST MAN STANDING 45S it’s not brilliant, but it’s got a really
Nobody (Sublime) Waiting For My Heart To Break annoying sound going in the back-
(Mercury) ground. 5/10 J.K.
Following up their pretty success-
ful debut single ‘Shotgun Mouth’, This second single from the 45s TETRA SPLENDOUR
Last Man Standing’s latest effort is offers melodies of soft rock pop that’s Pollen Fever (EMI Records)
a reasonably good punk-rock tune, sits firmly in the middle of commer-
which grows with every play. It’s cial and slightly off beat. Lyrics This is disappointing. The whiny
also backed up by a real head-bang- like ‘you can be a little cruel’ and lead singer seems to be whinging all
ing B-side (Inside Out), and an acous- ‘waiting for my heart to break could the way through about having pollen
tic version of the first single, which easily have been written about when in his eye, and it’s making him cry.
certainly boosts it’s buying potential. we met recently but no, its about girl Who cares? I don’t! Especially when
7/10 A.T.S. trouble. The single is average show- the rest of the song is mediocre rock,
ing potential but as the song says, monotonous and without any sort of
they are waiting for their hearts to climax. Don’t waste three and a half
be break and that could be very soon! minutes of your life on this one. Pants
5/10 M.B. doesn’t come close. 2/10 S.P.

Lessons Learned From Rocky I To Rocky

III (Wiija)
SATELLITE ALCAZAR
Lighten Up The Load (Mercury Sexual Gratification (BMG)
Ok, so it sounds like The Rolling Stones, but
RL)
that’s a good thing right? Leaving that aside,
I really wonder what I did wrong in
this is a happy-go-lucky guide to life brought
‘Lighten Up The Load’ is the first sin- my life to deserve listening to this.
to you by the people behind ‘Brimful Of Asha’
gle from Satellite, aka Jonny Green. Swedish dance trio, two girls, one
with the help of a few friends (ex-Oasis bloke
I think I’ve listened to the song a guy produce appalling pop single
Guigsy is the man behind the bass-line). It’s
dozen times, and I’m honestly not – and life goes on. I actually care
got quality lyrics about Miami Beach and
sure what to say about it. The fact more about what toothpaste brand
chicks with dicks, as well as a foot-tapping
that it is “recorded at Jonny’s house” I’m gonna buy next than this single.
beat. What more do you want? 8/10 P.G.S.
says a great deal. The song in itself Complete manufactured garbage.
isn’t bad, and I’m sure it’ll be played 1/10 O.Z.
quite a lot on the radio. It’s not bad,

Live Music Vid

BLISTERS ON MY BRAIN
LO FIDELITY ALLSTARS
London Kings Cross Scala
31st January 2002
The intimacy of the Kings Cross
Scala is fantastic; no barriers, great
sound quality, nice friendly crowd.
It’s a shame that bands become too
big to grace it’s stage, but if you
ever get the chance to catch an up
and coming band there, then book
your ticket early.
Tonight is officially the first of the
NME Carling gigs, but publicity
seems a little more scarce than one
would usually expect. However,
once the Lo Fi’s come onstage (after
a surprisingly pitiful support slot
from Capitol K), the small, casually
filled can of dance whoop-ass in the
crowd’s direction. ‘Lo Fi’s In Ibiza’,
‘Incision Decision’ and ‘Sleeping
Faster’ all stir up an excellent party
vibe, and there’s one or two nice
chilled moments, which allow punt-
ers to get their breaths back, and
reclaim lost trainers. But the high-
light of the evening is by far the
thumping ‘Battleflag’: five minutes
of adrenaline-injected mosh-pit hys-
teria. The tune has
almost anthem-like
status, and judging by
the reaction, it shows
that being two mem-
bers shy doesn’t mean
the Lo Fi’s have to
forget where it’s at.
Polish Social Club,
Balham
22nd February 2002
FYI kicked off the night at this strangest of
venues with a display of simply how generic
punk can be. Combining downright haggard
riffs with a complete lack of lyrical inspiration,
it’s fair to say that FYI won’t be headlining
Glastonbury this year, or in fact anywhere until
they locate some stage presence.
Devon skater punk kings, Brat, were second
up in what was for them a somewhat lackluster
effort (which I suppose could be blamed on the
abysmal PA), buoyed only by covers of the
ASH
Tokyo Blitz (video)
This video is from Ash’s performance in
their 2001 tour. Tim Wheeler’s normal live
flat vocals with the band’s raw live sound
is brilliant. They have a fantastic way of
changing every song just a little into a
superb display of harsh guitaring and drum-
ming. However poppy you think Ash are,
their live performances are fantastic. They
played most of “No Angel” with highlights
from “Nuclear Sounds” and “1977”. They
also played their first single, “Jack Names
the Planets” from “Captain” and did a
version of Weezer’s “Only in Dreams”.
Its no surprise that the highlights in the
form of “Kung Fu”, “Lose Control” and
“Numbskull” were from previous albums
but the newer songs were also excellent.
The video also includes interviews with
the band members and them out in the bars
across Tokyo which is quite entertaining.
Jurassic Park. 8/10 J.S.

down-tempo venue becomes a sea of Andy Smith

euphoric madness.
With a set-list dominated by tunes A N O T H E R
from the new LP (‘Don’t Be Afraid POGO SPORT
Of Love’), they unleash a bass- MOUTHWASH / BRAT
/ FYI
 10
ALBUMS
VARIOUS ARTISTS
HMV Playlist
This cd is HMV’s attempt at sharing
new music from lesser-known bands
and pushing them into the more
mainstream market. This month’s
bands include The Hives, Haven, A
and Vex Red to name but a few. A’s
track ‘The Distance’ is another slice
of cool guitar pop-punk taken from
their soon to be released album ‘Hi-Fi
Serious’. ‘The Distance’ is a worthy
follow up to current single ‘Nothing’
and another piece explosive piece of
hyperactive pop punk.
The other highlights, for me, were
Vex Red’s track called ‘Untitled’ a
dark, angst-ridden track that starts
of quietly and then gets louder and
more guitars driven as the tension
builds. The other good band on this
cd is Haven, they follow up their last
single ‘Say Something’ with another
superbly melodic track called ‘Out
Of Reach’. Overall, this is a good
cd with a diverse range of music and
it’s nice to see someone championing
the lesser-known bands for a change.
8/10 J.W.
SAHARA HOTNIGHTS
Jennie Bomb (BMG)
Wohoo! A new Sahara Hotnights album!
These Swedish girls may not be as well known
over here as they are in Scandinavia, but if
RECOMMENDED
Albums 28/02/02
beats from ‘Rock’ to ‘Drum and
Base’. ‘Roni Size/Reprazent offer
a U.K. flavour with ‘Idi Banashapan’ ABLUM OF THE WEEK
that’s not their finest but still is qual-
A
ity from the master of psycodelic
Hi-Fi Serious (London)
beats. The sound track ends with
BT’s ‘Fast and Furious Theme’ that’s
Despite being previously ignored, now that
atmospheric using mystical strings
the enduring kings of British power-punk A
and beats which is quiet supreme.
have achieved that Holy Grail of a Radio1
The soundtrack as a whole has many
playlisting, it could finally be their time.
good elements but lacks all round
Their frustration at previous ignorance is laid
quality. 6/10 M.B.
bare in the bitter sounding ‘Took it Away’,
key lyric “Radio playlists, terminally ill”.
DEPARTURE LOUNGE
There’s precious little A can now do to
Too Late To Die Young (Bella
push their case further; they have the tunes
Union)
(‘Starbucks’, ‘Why Don’t You Cry About
It’), industrial-strength riffs (‘Nothing’) and
This is the third album from the
a barrage of upbeat, lively 3-minute punk
Brighton based quartet within the last
songs.
3 years after forming in 1998. Tim
A fantastic closing salvo is capped by the
Keegan (vocals) worked with trip-
magnificent title track, an ambitious 6-
hop producer, Kid Loco on his most
minute epic taking in everything covered
recent album ‘Kill Your Darlings,’
on this fine record and spitting it back with
and he returns the favour by turn-
added venom.
ing up as producer for the bands
Sadly, it’s not as fun as it used to be. But,
latest release. While this album may
flying in the face of the dumb-fuck punk
be loosely badged as “electronica/
torrent from the US, A have crafted a well-
dance” it is hard to see why as the
rounded and consistently third album. The
album has more of a pop/indie sound.
blue touchpaper is lit; let’s see what happens
It would be little surprise to see the
now… 8/10 M.F.
band really get into the mainstream
consciousness after this release due delusions of grandeur. There’s some tive albums like this receive. Go to either way, the music struggles to
to the current popularity (and similar- great songs in here ‘Terrible Lie’ the back of the queue Montell. 5/10 stand on its own. 3/10 C.L.
ity) of acts like ‘Zero 7’. The album is wicked and ‘Sin’ is bang on the A.R.
VARIOUS ARTISTS
Long Time Dead Soundtrack This week’s reviews by
(Mercury Records) Kevin Marston, Jana Kristensen,
Julia Walker, Andrew Smith, Alex
Depending what you expect from a Read, OZ, Duncan Hills, John
horror movie soundtrack, this will Swarbrick, Catherine Lee, Simon

you ask me it won’t take long before they are.

Although the four girls aren’t more than 20-22 most probably disappoint. On the Pearson, Matthew Badcock, Michael
years old, they’ve already been around for a whole, it’s a series of electronically Field & Pete ‘ Is Still Moan About
few years, with an EP out in 1997 and their produced tracks featuring thumping BRMC’ Smith
first album ‘C’mon Let’s Pretend’ two years bass lines, pounding drums and the
later. With ‘Jennie Bomb’ they are keeping occasional whooshy “scary” noise
up the punk rock/grunge style from their first that proves repetitive to the point of
album, and they’ve also built up an image as irritating. Amidst all this, intermittent If you fancy trying your hand at
a brilliant live band touring with bands such tracks from Zero 7 and St.Germain writing a music review, live review
as ‘The Donnas’ and ‘The Hives’. The album stand in refreshing contrast but leave or even an article on muisc then
opens with ‘Alright Alright (Here’s My First you slightly bewildered as to what please email barefacts or come
Where’s The Fight?)’ and the catchy new sin- direction the album is taking. Soon along to the music meeting at 6pm
gle ‘On Top Of Your World’ and it keeps up enough though, the bass-orientated on Mondays in the Society Activity
the energy all through the 13 tracks with few music returns with the likes of Roni Centre
week points. Girls Rock on it’s best and defi- Size. It’s hard to say whether this
nitely worth checking out! 8/10 J.K. album would make more sense hav-
ing seen the film, but to be honest,
makes for nice, dreamy, late night money however I can only recom-
ELBOW
TIMO MAAS listening yet I felt it lacked the pas- mend this album to die-hard fans. I’m
Asleep in the Back
Loud (Perfecto) sion and feeling to really make this a a little sceptical hence. 6/10 A.R.
(V2)
great album. Consistently mediocre,
Timo has returned to give us an but certainly not bad. 6/10 D.H. MONTELL JORDAN
This is a re-release of
indepth look into his eclectic style Montell Jordan (Def Soul)
Elbow’s sparkling full-
of dance music with the pulsating NINE INCH NAILS
length debut from Spring
sounds of Loud. Loud combines And All That Could Have Been This is Montell Jordan’s fifth studio
2001, complete with the
the best of house, breaks, big beat (Interscope) album and on this one Montell’s gone
recent single and title
and even trance together in whirl of all inward and personal, wow how
track they “forgot” last
noises that fundamentaly dissolves You know those Winamp equaliser original! This collection of songs
time.
the so called boundaries of genres settings that no one ever uses? You is unquestionably his most personal
Guy Garvey’s remark-
to the minimalistic measures of know the ones: party, pop, rock, since popular debut album “This Is
able voice, occupying
ones own egotistical mind. ‘To Get soft etc. Well there’s a preset called How We Do It”. This is pretty con-
some superior plane between SFA’s Gruf Rhys and The Beta Band’s
Down’, ‘Hard Life’ and ‘Manga’ all ‘Large hall’. Now don’t quote me but servative R&B as things go and I’m
Steve Mason, complements masterfully the similitude of spine-tin-
reverberate this feeling and are the I think NIN have taken their original sure it’s aimed at the slightly older
gling melancholia meets dense, enticing rock experimentation.
structural foundations of this great recordings and simply subjected R&B fan. Like a lot of the music I
‘Any Day Now’s hypnotic, despairing chorus, the heart-wrenching
record. 8/10 K.M. them to the ‘Large hall’ preset. This review for this paper, I find little to
lyrical desolation of ‘Powder Blue’ together with some stunningly
live album consists of sixteen songs get excited about with this release;
intricate acoustic guitar washes on ‘Newborn’ and ‘Scattered Black
MORE FAST AND FURIOUS written by the band between 1989 by the numbers R&B in particular
RE-ISSUE

Sound Track (The Island Def Jam
Music Group)
A second helping of music from and
inspired by the ‘Fast and Furious film
coincides with the DVD and VHS
release. ‘BT’ offers a large chunk
of the album offering three tracks.
The style is thumping base and heavy
and 1999. I’m not sure how relevant
any of this is, especially when com-
pared to other recent live albums
notably Radiohead’s ‘I Might Be
Wrong’. Why release a live compi-
lation if none of the featured songs
sound any better outside the studio?
Lead singer and Radiohead obsessive
Trent Reznor appears to be suffering
and Whites’ make this one of the first essential British guitar albums
is becoming increasingly tiresome.
this decade.
The usual church and love themes
Forget Starsailor’s farcical whinnying; Elbow’s tortured misery
surface like a bad smell – frankly
was the real deal in 2001. The New Acoustic Movement may have
this stuffs been covered a thousand
proved short-lived, but ‘AITB’ is truly one of the finest albums in
times already. I’d like to see more
recent memory, made by five ordinary blokes from Manchester who
British R&B and hip hop acts com-
by their own admission would be working as bricklayers if not in a
ing through, Roots Manuva, Aspects,
band. And what a loss that would have been. 9/10 M.F.
The Streets etc have to work twice
as hard for the recognition conserva-
28/02/02 Film 11
A Beautiful Mind Vanilla Sky
Director: Ron Howard Director: Cameron Crowe
Writer: Akiva Goldsman, based on the book by Sylvia Writers: Alejandro Amenabar, Mateo Gill
Nasar (Film: ‘Abre Los Ojos’ a.k.a ‘Open Your Eyes’)
Cast: Russell Crowe, Ed Harris, Jennifer Connelly, Paul Cast: Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz,
Bettany, Adam Goldberg, Vivien Cardone, Judd Jason Lee, Kurt Russel
Hirsch, Josh Lucas, Anthony Rapp, Christopher
Plummer, Clint Howard Tom Cruise plays David Aames, a publishing tycoon lead-
Certificate: 12 ing a dream playboy lifestyle. David has everything – huge
Running time: 135 minutes luxurious apartments, loads of money and women jumping at
his feet. He has a casual relationship with model Julie Gianni
Based on the non-fiction book of the same name by Sylvia Nasar, A (Cameron Diaz) until he meets the exotic Sofia (Penelope
Beautiful Mind is the story of John Forbes Nash, Jr., a mathematical Cruz) at his party. David spends a romantic night with Sofia
genius who invented the concept for game theory, which has since and when leaving in the morning meets a very jealous Julie. He
been applied to everything from economics to biology. accepts a lift from her and then suddenly in rage she drives the
The film follows Nash through five decades of his academic career, his relationship with his wife car off a bridge. David survives but is horribly disfigured and an emotional wreck. He meets
Alicia, and his various demons and difficulties. up with Sofia, but it goes embarrassingly wrong, he ends up on the street alone and drunk.
My initial impression of Nash was an arrogant Forrest Gump. Russell Crowe reminded me Sofia awakes him in the morning and they begin their relationship. A miracle treatment allows
immediately of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, the only difference being that Crowe’s character David’s face to be restored to it’s former glory – everything seems perfect now, a beautiful
knew he was gifted. His self-confidence was something that I personally could relate to, that partner, two beautiful faces. However it doesn’t last long. David starts to experience hallucina-
belief that regardless of the challenge he would tions where he confuses Sofia for being Julie and ends up killing her. What is happening? Who
come out of it on top. is doing this? Is he being framed by greedy executives trying to rob him of his wealth? Or is he
Now, a lot has been said about this film; Russell going mad with the guilt of his treatment of Julie?
Crowe is phenomenal, Jennifer Connelly is fan- Vanilla Sky is a remake of the Spanish film ‘Abre Los Ojos’ a.k.a ‘Open Your Eyes’ (also star-
tastic the screenplay is superb etc etc. To that I ring Penelope Cruz) by Alejandro Amenabar (dir: The Others). I have to say I was very surprised
would say, don’t listen to a word, if you do, you to see that Cameron Crowe gives himself a screenplay credit when nothing significant has been
will expect too much. Before I saw Lord of the added/deleted from the original film. Comparing the two I would have to say that the original
Rings I had been told so many times how great it is better. Cameron Crowe’s previous efforts, ‘Jerry Maguire’ and ‘Almost Famous’ show that he
was, I hated it before I even saw it. I knew very is a ‘light’ director whereas this story requires a much more sombre and darker tone as shown
little about this film before I saw it and I prefer it in the original. Vanilla Sky has all of
that way, my advice to you, reader, is do the same. Hollywood’s gloss and a great sound-
Seeing this movie will broaden your outlook on track (R.E.M, The Beatles, Bob Dylan,
life and I believe go some way to making most Leftfield) and because of the gloss it
of us more understanding better people, that is all does at times feel hollow. The relation-
I want to say. I have done my best to reveal as ship between the main characters doesn’t
little of plot as possible because that is the way I seem to stick as well as in the original.
think it should be. This is a film worth seeing, go However, despite this, the film does man-
see it. 8/10 age to pull through simply because of it’s
Stewart Fudge (Captain story and it does manage to be entertain-
ing. My recommendation, if you can, then
Extraordinaire of the Slurrey get hold of a copy of the original, if not
Slingers) then sit back and chill to this. 6/10.
Navroop Sehmi.

Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Ghum
(Sometimes Happy, Sometimes Sad)
Director: Karan Johar
Writers: Karan Johar and Sheena Parekh
Cast: Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bhaduri,
Shahrukh Khan, Kajol, Hrithick
Roshan, Kareena Kapoor
How the hell do you pronounce that you must be won-
dering? What the hell is it may be another. Well, Kabhie
Khushie Kabhie Ghum, also known as K3G (!) is the
latest Bollywood blockbuster which has managaed to
cross-over onto Western screens. You may have noticed
that the Pakastini Socitey screened this film last week
and that the Odeon showed it yesterday (when they
haven’t shown, and I’ve been told will not show ‘From
Hell’!). Well what is all the fuss about?
K3G is a film about “loving your parents”. Yashovardhan
Raichand is a business millionaire and head of the fam-
ily with his wife Nandini and two sons, Rahul and
Rohan. Rahul is actually Rohan’s adopted brother but
he is still devoted to his parents and the family never
talk about it. Yashovardhan plans for Rahul to marry
Naina who is of similar social status but Rahul falls in
love with Anjali, a village girl. Rahul is disowned by his
father and he heads off to live in London with Anjali.
Rohan, who has been at boarding school all this time,
hears of it and plans to reunite the family. He moves to
London and manages to stay at Rahul’s house as a guest
(Rahul has not seen Rohan since he was a child and so
doesn’t recognise him) with the aid of Pooja, Anjali’s
sister and childhood friend. Eventually Rohan’s identity
is revealed and he manages to get his parents to visit the
UK. Mother and son embrace but the father is as stub-
born as ever and they return to India. The son’s follow
and after much commotion, the family is reunited.
The film’s cast is a who’s who of Indian Film. There
is veteran actor Amitabh Bachchan along with current
heart-throbs, Shahrukh Khan and Hrithchick Roshan.
The problem with this is movie is that it’s all been done
before. The actors and actresses play the same roles that
they have played hundreds of times before. The basic
plot of the divided family has also been done many
times over. The film borrows heavily from ‘Kuch Kuch
Hota Hai’. Kajol plays her usual tomboy village
girl and Kareena Kapoor plays a disgustingly
bad (yes, I felt physically sick when I saw this)
Alicia Silverstone Clueless rip-off – I’m getting
nauseous simply remembering her prancing
about at King’s University (it was that bad). To
top it all off, even the music is unoriginal with
only the bhangra-based tune ‘Shava-Shava’
deserves a few taps from my foot. Basically this
film is way overatted. If you want a taste of good
Indian Cinema then look up films like ‘Sholay’,
‘Maachis’ and ‘Dil Se’. I really don’t know what
rating to give it, probably out of fear of hundreds
of fans hungering for my blood – what the hell,
I’ll write my name instead.
Navroop Sehmi.
28/02/02 Personals/Society Profiles 13
The Stars Wot A Proper
Astrologer Did Society Profiles:
EESoc
NOTE: This week in an bid to ease the job of our resident astrologer (he’s
got a good union), we’ve simplified the star signs. So, just go down until you
find the one that coincides with your birthday. Actually, we can’t find last
week’s issue, so we’re not sure what order they go in...

MONKEY (Jan 1st - Jan 31st)

This week you will be astounded to discover you have won a car, and then Name & Age: Boi
Yimwilai, 20 Ultimate dream for you
more astounded when you wake up. Don’t extend your overdraft til Thursday personally in the societies
next, since it’s the bank mananger’s anniversary on Tuesday, and she has to be activity: Apart from
home early. helping the society reach the top
Position in Society: Vice-
President of EESOC ten, i haven’t really got an ultimate
OSTRITCH (Feb 1st - Feb 28th) dream
Don’t bury your head in the sand-- you won’t be able to breathe. Go out there
and deal with your problems, they won’t go away on their own. If you shy Your Best Feature: Got
be my spiky hair and my Worst injury: Getting hit by
away, things will only be far worse when you return. very drunk Quincy (the society’s
winning smile
secretary)
CAMEL (March 1st - March 31st)
Beware the jabberwock, my son. In this case, the jabberwock will be an Society activity idol: Haven’t got
unwanted face from the past. Don’t believe the hype-- a leopard never changes What do you look for in a
man/woman: Single would one
his spots, and neither does a thieving caniving bastard of an ex-friend.
be nice and she must have a
nice personality Most embarrassing/amusing
PLATYPUS (April 1st - April 30th) society moment: Whole society
Life hasn’t been great lately-- you’ve missed out on a lot of what you should lining up pissing in the river on our
have gained through no fault of your own. Don’t take it personally and keep on Best thing about the
society activity: Our ‘Pub last pub golf
going-- you’ll succeed in the end.
Golf’ Tournament has been
highly rated by various members Hidden aspects of your society: It’s still hidden,
LLAMA (May 1st - May 31st) we haven’t found it yet. But if you come and join
Pleasant allapaca wooly coat or no, it’s hot in hell, so make sure you don’t end the society, maybe you can help us find it.
up there with some good behaviour this week. You can redeem yourself, so do. Best single moment of your society life: Never a
Be a good Samaritan. single moment, all equally
great Worst fear: Falling into the river after pissing in
it.
COD (June 1st - June 30th)
Overfishing will result in your extinction within fifteen years so make the most Best moment for society: Getting positive
feedback from members telling us Lunchtime lasagne in Chancellors or HRB?
of life while you can. (Come on, it’s green week...). Remember the motto, Never had one but apparently HRB is
Carpe Diem (excuse pun) and get out there and have some fun. how much they enjoyed being part of the society
the better of the two

BRUSSELS SPROUT (July 1st - July 31st)
Things aren’t all they’ve cracked up to be-- take a long hard look at new activ-
ities and decide if they really are for you after all.
MOUSE (August 1st - August 30th)
Be true to your nature-- timidity is going to be a great virtue this week.
Worst thing about your society: Lack of girls in
the society You in three words: According to my female
friends, i am ‘Crazy, Sexy, Cool’
Ultimate society dream: The society hasn’t really
got a dream but we’re trying to be within the top The society in three words: Awesome Brilliant
RRRRAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
ten societies in UniS

CHINESE/
PYGMY SHREW (September 1st - September 30th)
Small is beautiful and don’t forget it-- hence avoid tall people this week. I
really mean that; it’s easy to get squashed when you’re less than an inch long.

PILCHARD (October 1st - October 31st)

JAPANESE
Life is like a bowl of beans-- it stinks after you’ve had too much. Lucky for
you that too much is about 103 years. Live long and prosper.

PORCUPINE (of Doom) (November 1st - November 30th)

Smile all week. It’ll make both you and those around you happier. Spread a lit-
tle love into the world. Rainbows and bunny rabbits.
EGGS (1st December - December 31st)
Give up, go home, it’s half ten at night and I can’t be arsed.
VOLUNTEERS REQUIRED TO HELP WITH A RESEARCH STUDY. THIS
WILL BE LOOKING AT THE GENETIC VARIATION BETWEEN THE
ETHNIC GROUPS SPECIFIED BELOW:

N.B. If your birthday is August 31st, then tough, cos I am not going to predict · Chinese - person with Chinese parents and grandparents
anything for you. · Japanese - person with Japanese parents and grandparents

Personals
MORRRRRRNING! I really must come
round for that cupprrrrrr!
2 working fridges, clean?
FREE TO A GOOD HOME
please take them away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One-Legged Prostitutes are about as
real as Mr. Watt’s chances of coming
up with a convincing scam
The purpose of this study is to investigate and further our understanding into the difference of why
Lisa - please don’t kill me....i’m so
scared i’m t-t-trembling! some people respond better to certain medicines than others. This can be done by looking at the
variations in the patterns of DNA between ethnic populations.
Rich can’t cook for shit
If you participate in this study you will be required to give a blood sample and complete a ques-
www.rich@bigfatsmellyhead.com tionnaire. The study visit will last half an hour and you will be compensated for your time and
expenses.
www.frisby.chair@numptyboy.com
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT:
www.sunvisorsaregay.com

What’s all this about lecture turtles?
Rich, we saw the potential of curling
long ago - everyone else has just
jumped on the bandwagon
www.can’tcatchforshit.com
you will be beaten with your own shoes
www.malibu.wrote.all.of.those.if.y
ou’re.interested.rich.com
Dr Mould or Alison Hepworth on 01483 455375/406886
Guildford Clinical Pharmacology Unit
Royal Surrey County Hospital
Guildford, GU2 7XX
14 Services 28/02/02

Dr Russ says “.......... Money Matters!

Speculative Applications
You may wonder whether it is
really worth writing speculatively
to an employer. Surely they’d
advertise the job if they wanted
someone badly enough? There is
a lot of truth in that, which is why
it is important to keep a watch-
ful eye on advertised vacancies.
Unfortunately, you can’t guarantee
you will spot the ad when it comes
out, so writing ‘on spec’ at least
gives you a chance to be considered
for something you might otherwise
have missed. There are two other
very good reasons for writing out
of the blue. First of all, it can be
pretty expensive to advertise a job
and employers wouldn’t waste their
money if they had sufficient specu-
lative applications sitting on their
desks. Secondly, it really works, as
about 10% of University of Surrey
graduates find every year.
When writing speculatively, most
people send a curriculum vitae and
a covering letter. The letter would
typically be four paragraphs - who
you are, why you are writing, what
particular skills and experience
you have to offer and a closing
paragraph to say how much you’d
value having an opportunity to
discuss your application with them.
We have examples of both CVs
and covering letters in the Careers
Service.
You may, of course, feel a bit
stuck in trying to decide who to
apply to. If that is the case, you’d
probably find it helpful to use one
of the employer directories we
carry. You could use something
like Prospects Directory or the If you find you are in DEBT con- card in your pocket.
Graduate Careers Directory to sidering the following points may
identify the major employers of help you to find a way through the Keep in touch. Contact your lend-
graduates. Alternatively, you could difficulty. ers, creditors and any one else send-
use a directory such as Kompass ing you reminders
to locate all the employers who Face the facts as soon as pos-
operate in very specialist areas
- don’t ignore sible.
such as nuclear instrumentation
the problem and
manufacture or the production of
hope that it will Consider consoli-
automotive components. We also
have local employer lists for most go away, work dating your debts
parts of the country. The more you out exactly how Give your debts a
move off the beaten track, by the much you owe and free transfer
way, the greater your chances of immediately cut Swallow your
unearthing a vacancy which no-one out most of your pride and ask for
else has found. little luxuries. help
Writing on spec is definitely worth Prioritise your For more informa-
trying. You might end up with debts in order of tion about these
piles of rejection letters or even no scariness. Look carefully at the list issues come and talk to us a SAIS.
responses at all, but then you might of people you owe money to. Rent Remember we are here to help and
just uncover an opportunity which (or mortgage) arrears should be dealt we can refer you to other useful
gets your career off to a brilliant with as soon as possible and your agencies if necessary.
start. utility bills should come high up
your list. Hire purchase bills should Student Advice and Information
probably come next with credit card Service,
Russ Clark
bills and loans for things you could Wey Flat 2, Surrey Court
Careers Service
really live without towards the bot- Tel: 01483 869261
tom of the pile. It’s better to have E-mail student-
a roof over your head than a credit advice@surrey.ac.uk

Notices March, TB2

Euchrist - Every Thursday by Rev John Strain, 12:
30pm, Grant Mitchel Room
The Nordic Society is going on a coach pub trip
Friday March 1st! Great
Union cashiers office is open 12:00 - 14:00 every
venue out-of-town! Games and drinks! Open to
working day except wednesdays.
non-members. See homepage
www.surrey.ac.uk/Union/societies/norsoc for
Active Thinkers Society AGM, Thursday 28th
details.
Feb, 6.30pm, GMR,
Music Soc - Underground AGM, Monday Week
8, 5pm, GMR
Ecconomics Society AGM @ 6pm Monday 4th
March, LT M
American Football AGM - 28th Feb, Varsity
Centre, 9pm
Tennis Club AGM
Thursday Week 8 (7-Mar-02), 1pm
Womens Rugby AGM, Monday Week9, 6pm,
TB22
GMR
Any queries contact:
surreytennisclub@hotmail.com
Ploice Community Partnership Group Public
Meeting - LT L, 7pm, 13/3/02 - ALL WELCOME
Conservative Society AGM @ 7pm Monday 4th
 SURREY PRIDE
Olympic Medals Results
Well, the Olympics are over amd, surprise
Gold Silver Bronze Points Sports
Profile
surprise the USA is in the top 3. Anyway, Germany 12 16 7 75
here are the results. The points column has United States of America 10 13 11 67
been added, with a gold worth 3 points, a Norway 11 7 6 53
silver 2 points and a bronze 1 point.
Russian Federation 6 6 4 34
Canada 6 3 8 32

PRAGUE HERE
Austria 2 4 10 24
Italy 4 4 4 24

WE COME!
France 4 5 2 24
Switzerland 3 2 6 19
May 29th will see the Men’s Footy Aces depart Netherlands 3 5 0 19
on a German-Czech adventure like no other. The Finland 4 2 1 17
exams will be long forgotten; anticipation for the
World Cup will be electric. China 2 2 4 14
The beer will be ridiculously cheap and will Croatia 3 1 0 11
flow all hours of the day and night, while on the
pitch the Surrey Pride will test the meanest of
Korea 2 2 0 10
Eastern European defences. Sweden 0 2 4 8
The coach trip each way will involve a stop- Estonia 1 1 1 6
over in Frankfurt, what better opportunity to bask Name and Age: Annabel Canaven, 21
in the glory of September 4th? Bring your 5-1 Australia 2 0 0 6
T-shirts lads! Spain 2 0 0 6
To be involved in this 7-day mayhem, we need
Nicknames: Fanny, Anchorgirl
your deposits by THIS WEEKEND. £35 cheques
Great Britain 1 0 2 5
payable to USFC: give them either to the Twins Bulgaria 0 1 2 4 Best Feature: Big smile - cheesy grin
or Mark ‘Sink’ Richards. Total cost should be Czech Republic 1 0 1 4
~£259. A Bargain.
Japan 0 1 1 3
What do you look for in a guy? Baggy
For info, news, banter and the all important
tour name suggestions check out the website trousers, trainers only - no shoes
Poland 0 1 1 3
at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/prague2002/
and subscribe to the mailing list: prague2002- Belarus 0 0 1 1 Marital status: attached and happy
subscribe@yahoogroups.com Slovenia 0 0 1 1
Favourite position: On top and in control

MENS FENCING TEAM TRIUMPH Best thing about your sport: Bouncing
around on beds (see above!)

IN COUNTY CHAMPIONSHIP Worst thing about your sport: Waxing

your bikini line and showing your bum to
By Jana Kristensen & Daniel Kerr everyone.
This weekend, our gallant trio took a break from student competitions to take on all-
comers at the Surrey County Championship. After some tough first round matches, the
Best single moment in your sporting life:
three amigos went on to face the venerable ‘Q club’ in a tense and at times controversial Winning the BUSA natioanls for the past
final. Saracen finished the match in style defeating the very experienced Joe Shackell to two years
lift the trophy.
Also, two of our fledgling fencers, Damien ‘The Devil’ Clarke & Oran ‘Oddball’
Worst injury: haven’t had one... yet. Touch
Maliphant were joined by a guest fencer from Wimbledon and put in a very creditable
wood
performance, which bodes well for the future of the team.

Sporting Idol: Ellen McArthur

STINGERS PLAY OFF THIS Most embarrassing Sporting Moment:

my leotard slipping up my bum, exposing a
cheek, during a routine.

WEEK
The Personal Assurance sponsored University
of Surrey Stingers embark upon their first
ever play off challenge this coming Sunday
at the Guildford Varsity Sports Centre (KO
1-00pm).
The Stingers recorded a perfect regular
season with 8 wins out of 8 games on their
way to the British Collegiate American
Football League South Eastern Division title.
Ranked as the #1 team in the South
the Stingers practiced last Sunday while the
wild card games decided their opponents.
Divisional rivals (and runners up) the
Hertfordshire Hurricanes battled through a
tough game in Birmingham and will now
provide the opposition to Surrey.
The Stingers defeated the Hurricanes in
the first game of the regular season (35-19)
but both teams have come a long way since
then. The Canes have added Junior Price (GB
Quarterback) to their team and his battle with
the Stingers QB Ashley Heath (England and
the PA Knights) will be fascinating.
Both teams have players from the British
Senior League and Tony Groden of the
Ipswich Cardinals is another key to the Canes
both on Offense and Defense.His play will
be compared to the Stingers own utility man
Andy Mitchell (Ireland and PA Knights) who
leads the team in receiving and is also a top
tackler on defense.
Whilst the battles between experienced
players will provide some keys it is perhaps
the first year players on both teams that will
finally swing the result. Both teams had a
good recruiting year and the test for those
players now comes as the post season gets
underway.
The Canes have been National Champions
Hidden aspects to your sport:It’s not just
bouncing around. there is some skill in there
in 3 of the last 4 years - this will be no easy too... somewhere.
ride for the Surrey based team as they seek to
win through to the Southern Conference Final
Last time you were drunk and threw up/
against either the Oxford Cavaliers or the DCI
Bristol Bullets. swam a lake? Most times I drink. I’m a bit
Stingers Head Coach Pete Vaughan of a lightweight.
commented “ There are no easy games at
this stage. We know the Hurricanes very Favourite Food: Cheesecake followed by
well - they are steeped in success and have a
very experienced coaching staff. There is no cheesecake with extra cheesecake. With a
doubt in my mind however that we can win side order of cheesecake.
this game, but we will need to be at our very
best. Its a knockout tournament from here on You in three words: loud, happy, fun.
- one slip and you are gone - it will be a great
game on Sunday and I am sure that it will be
very entertaining for those watching - I hope
we have plenty of support for the team - they
deserve it”.