Triggers

Creating Behavior That Lasts – Becoming the

Person You Want to Be
Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter
Crown © 2015
240 pages
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Rating Take-Aways

9
10 Applicability • Most people have serious behavioral flaws and come to regret their bad behavior.
8 Innovation • People want to change, but that takes more effort than any other task in life.
9 Style
• To change, you must really “want to change.”
• People avoid change or fail to change due to their deeply seated personal beliefs.
 
Focus • Your environment holds you back even more than your beliefs; it tempts you, infuriates
you and lulls you into complacency.

Leadership & Management • It presents countless “triggers” that control you.

Strategy
Sales & Marketing
• However, you can control your triggers by knowing them and by pausing and thinking
before you react.
Finance
Human Resources • You need the help of other people to change and make change stick.
IT, Production & Logistics
• You need structure to provide discipline and break big change into manageable steps.
Career & Self-Development
Small Business • Create a set of “Daily Questions” that chart your action toward your goals, and rate
Economics & Politics yourself against them every day – or every hour if necessary.
Industries
Global Business
Concepts & Trends

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getabstract

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Relevance
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What You Will Learn
In this summary, you will learn:r1) Why real, “meaningful change” requires enormous commitment and energy;
and 2) How you can make and sustain significant change through awareness, common sense and structure.
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Review
Famed executive coach Marshall Goldsmith presents a blueprint for achieving the most difficult thing any adult can
do – changing your personal behavior. He and co-author Mark Reiter explain why your “environment” makes change
so difficult. They warn of situations, events and people – even sounds – that can set you off, derail your efforts to
change and cause reactions you come to regret. Negative behaviors can make you miserable. Few adults succeed
in making significant behavioral change, but this manual describes how to do it by understanding your triggers and
taking control of them. Filled with folk wisdom, this heartfelt guide – by the authors’ admission – states and restates
the obvious to reinforce its lessons. You may have heard some of this advice before, but following it is what matters.
getAbstract recommends this manual’s simple tools for successful personal change. It can help almost anyone who
resolves to improve.
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Summary
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The Hardest Thing
You resolve to change; you might even take action, but only rarely do you make significant
changes that stick. This proves especially true when the change also involves other people.
As hard as it is to quit smoking, for example, the effort pales compared to changing things
that aren’t fully in your control and require other people’s cooperation or assessment of
getabstract your progress. Instead of committing to change, you continue your ways, regretting your
“Fate is the hand of
cards we’ve been dealt.
weaknesses and lack of improvement. You make promises: I’ll be a better spouse, or I’ll
Choice is how we play build better relationships at work. But obstacles appear. People don’t meet you halfway or
the hand.” you face too much work. Stress and exhaustion wear down your resolve to ask about – let
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alone listen to – how your family members fared that day at work or school. You make
excuses and let yourself off the hook.

Why People Rarely Change

People avoid change or fail to change due to deeply seated personal beliefs. You believe
getabstract
you know what to do and will do it, so who needs discipline, a plan or structure? You place
“Whether the subject false faith in your powers of resistance and put yourself in risky environments that tempt
is climate change you. You believe you can take breaks from your resolve and easily return to it, so you allow
or the life span of
unicorns, when you frequent “lapses.” You compare yourself to someone worse, and take a pass. You scorn
cite demonstrable facts simple processes and structure, and you wing it. You forget that your resistance wanes as
to counter another
person’s belief, a the day goes on and so you lose “self-control.” You put things off, thinking you’ll have time
phenomenon that to start tomorrow. You forget that whatever your plans are, reality always intrudes. So you
researchers call ‘the
backfire effect’ takes set yourself up for getting knocked off course. A crisis might make you change, but even
over. Your brilliant crises usually produce only temporary change.
marshaling of data not
only fails to persuade
the believer, it backfires Other fallacies abound: You think that if you do change, you will magically stay changed.
and strengthens his or This may lead you – like everyone else – to not account for the effort it takes to stay
her belief.”
getabstract changed. So you – and everyone else, remember – will backslide. You unconsciously expect
an extrinsic reward for changing and if you don’t get it, you feel cheated, which provides an

Triggers                                                                                                                                                                             getAbstract © 2016 2 of 5

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 excuse to give up. You think no one’s watching, so you take a break. But when you revert
to past behaviors, people notice. That harms your credibility and undermines their trust.
You think you should resist change because it would betray your “authentic” self, so you
retain your flaws. And you think you can judge yourself accurately, so you overrate your
getabstract behavior and dismiss any need for change.
“Getting mad at people
for being who they are
makes as much sense as Procrastinating on Change
getting mad at a chair
for being a chair.” Your environment blocks change even more effectively than your misplaced beliefs.
getabstract Environments rich in “triggers” battle your resolve constantly. Triggers exert an “insidious”
control over most people. For example, you smile and wave at your family as you set off
for the airport, yet you instantly turn into a “monster” if your flight encounters a delay.
You eventually board the plane and resolve to do several hours of work. But the in-seat
television with its 150 shows and movies makes child’s play of your plans. You get to your
destination and deliver the same presentation to two audiences, the first, in a room with a
cool temperature, the second, in a warm, stuffy room. You fail as much in the warm room
as you succeed in the cool one. At work, the boss creates an environment of “do whatever
it takes” to make sales. So you bend the rules.
getabstract
“To increase our level
of engagement, we must The extreme, long-term effort that change requires plus the triggers in your environment
ask ourselves if we’re
doing our best to be wage constant battle against your complacency. It would be good to study more, do nice
engaged.” deeds for people, and the like. But absent a crisis, things feel good enough. And besides,
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your favorite TV show is about to start. For a thousand reasons, you put off real change.

Taking Control of Change

Strive to manage your environments, or they will manage you. To take control, acknowledge
the power and effect of your work and life environments. Build awareness of your
environment by seeking “feedback.” For example, many people speed through small towns.
Numerous signs warning of the risk of getting a ticket don’t cut through drivers’ inertia and
make them slow down. The mechanism that slows traffic is a “driver feedback system” – a
getabstract fancy term for digital signs displaying your speed. The feedback system provides what you
“Our environment
tempts us…to engage need to cause change: “evidence” in the form of the display; “relevance” in that it shows
in pointless skirmishes. your speed versus the posted, legal speed (you’re breaking the law!); “consequence,” in
And we can do
something about it – by
that you might get a ticket, or worse, and responsive “action” – you put on the brakes.
doing nothing.”
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Change requires heeding evidence of the damage your behavior causes. That damage gains
relevance when your actions affect your co-workers, family or friends. The effect hits
harder when it brings career or relationship consequences. These conditions set the stage
for better behavior (action), the last stage in the “feedback loop.” Most people don’t know
when and how environmental triggers spur them to behave badly. Greater awareness turns
the environment itself into a feedback loop. You can control your triggers to make and
sustain change.

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Triggers
“Achieving meaningful Triggers come in many varieties. You smile when you see a giggling baby; something
and lasting change may inspires you and you act on that inspiration; you see the “finish line” ahead in a race and gain
be simple…But simple
is far from easy.” strength; or someone tailgates you and you fume. People’s responses to identical triggers
getabstract vary greatly. The good news is that – with great and sustained effort – you can control your
response, no matter how primal or impulsive your current reactions seem.

Start by gaining insight into the dynamics around the change you want to achieve. Suppose
your goal is to lose weight and you’ve been trying for years with no success. Create a

Triggers                                                                                                                                                                             getAbstract © 2016 3 of 5

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 “quadrant” diagram and label it “Encouraging” across the top and “Discouraging” across
the bottom, “Counter-Productive” on the left and “Productive” on the right. In the upper-left
quadrant – the space between Counter-Productive and Encouraging – list “temptations,”
such as a trigger you often face, such as the easy availability of ice cream when you indulge
your love of television.
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“We harbor beliefs that
trigger all manner of The right side is where change happens. Consider having nothing to report – no supportive
denial and resistance.”
getabstract spouse or personal trainer to place in the Encouraging, upper-right field – and no threat of
consequence should you not lose the weight in the Productive field, lower right. You fail
because the counter-productive triggers on the left of the quadrant face no competition from
anything on the right, except your flimsy resolution to lose weight. To succeed instead, you
must control your triggers.

Gaining Control
Try a simple remedy: Pause. That’s it. Before you respond to one of your triggers and
regret it later – be it a bowl of ice cream, a “know-it-all” colleague, a late plane or your
getabstract whining child – stop and breathe. Ask yourself whether whatever you’re about to say or
“We replay what we
actually did against do will evoke the response or advance the cause you desire. Instead of raising the stakes
what we should have with your colleague, for example, take the first step toward fixing the relationship – let
done – and find
ourselves wanting in his comments pass, or even praise him. Rather than losing your temper at the airline clerk,
some way. Regret can accept that neither you nor her can do anything about a late plane. Before you yell at your
hurt.”
getabstract child, consider the harm it might cause and the regret you’ll feel later. Before you eat ice
cream, consider your commitment to lose weight.

In dealing with other people at work or elsewhere, avoid the triggers that cause you to say
hurtful or dismissive things, either because they make you seem smarter or because you
mistakenly equate “honesty” with full and often hurtful “disclosure.” Use the AIWATT
getabstract technique: “Am I Willing, At This Time to make the investment required to make a positive
“Once we deconstruct difference on this topic?” Ask whether you must say anything at all. If so, is this the right
feedback into its four
stages of evidence, time, and is it worth the energy? Will it make a positive contribution to the topic at hand?
relevance, consequence, Before you speak, take the time you need to run through these questions.
and action…we
understand that our
good behavior is not Act with Intention
random. It’s logical. A “hostile” trigger-rich environment works behind the scenes to undermine your plans.
It follows a pattern. It
makes sense. It’s within You can’t expect to overcome your environment without acting intentionally to address it.
our control.”
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Where you can, recognize and avoid trigger-rich settings, as you would dodge dangerous
neighborhoods on your walk home. For example, try to avoid that co-worker who sparks
your annoyance.

Active and Passive Questions

Where you can’t avoid, “adjust.” Prepare for environmental triggers by creating a coping
plan in advance. Practice your reactions and responses to likely triggers ahead of time. Build
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a structure for change. Create a set of personal “Daily Questions” to track your progress on
“We do not get better the behaviors you most want to change. Suppose you struggle with focus and commitment
without structure…but in your career because you have no solid goals or your goals are vague. Avoid the “passive
it has to be structure
that fits.” question”: “Do I have clear goals?” Hold yourself to a higher standard by asking an “active
getabstract question,” such as: “Did I do my best today to set clear goals for myself?”

Organizations spend billions of dollars to change employee engagement levels. They focus
on what companies can do for employees by asking passive survey questions about the work
environment. That tactic hasn’t worked. Active questions that give individual employees

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 responsibility for making change bring big gains. Asking, “Did you do your best to find
meaning today?” versus “How meaningful was your day?” makes engagement scores
increase by double.

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Daily and “Hourly Questions”
“We want short-term Use similar questions to force “structure” into your change efforts. Perform a daily
gratification while we progress appraisal. Stay honest. In trying risky environments, turn your most relevant Daily
need long-term benefit.
And we never get a Questions into Hourly Questions. For example, say your tendency to speak off the cuff in
break from choosing meetings harms your credibility. Use hourly action questions to assess your performance
one or the other. It’s
the defining conflict during the meeting. Hourly Questions keep you disciplined and “in the present.”
of adult behavioral
change.”
getabstract Daily Questions make big change manageable by breaking it into small, gradual steps. Ask
questions that are consistent with your most important goals and that bring you closer to
“becoming the person you want to be.” If you have a problem with needing to show you’re
always correct, even over trivial things, and getting along with your colleagues matters to
your career success, include a question such as: “Did I do my best today to avoid trying
to prove I’m right when it’s not worth it?” If your relationship with your mother needs
attention, include a question like: “Did I do my best today to say or do something nice for
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my mother?”
“Even among the
people we love, we Keeping Score
distract ourselves
in front of a TV or Keep score daily, rating your activity between zero and 10. Don’t try to do it on your own.
computer…Who knows Enlist a friend, a family member or a coach to keep you on track. Touch base daily with
what we’re missing
when we’re not paying your support person to share your results. As change evolves to habit, learn how to use
attention?” triggers to coach yourself.
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Like most people, you probably start the day with high energy and sharp discipline, but
they dissipate as the day wears on. Triggers, temptations and distractions that you overcome
easily in the morning cause problems in the afternoon. For example, studies of parole boards
reveal that they approve 70% of cases that they hear in the morning versus only 10% of
those that they decide late in the day. Try to make important decisions in the morning.
Delegate where you can, and rely on the structure of your daily questions to preserve your
getabstract energy and slow things down.
“Change has to
come from within.
It can’t be dictated, Avoid Perfection
demanded, or otherwise
forced…A man or You’ll never achieve perfection. Attempting it makes no sense in many situations.
woman who does not But sometimes “good enough” just doesn’t cut it. Your environment can erode your
wholeheartedly commit
to change will never professionalism. You risk putting in a poor performance that can jeopardize your reputation
change.” or harm your relationships when you lack the motivation to do a task – often because you
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don’t enjoy it. That can happen when you agree to do something for free or as a favor, when
you aim low, or when you act nonchalant about the rules or place yourself above them.

Choose change, engage in your environment, anticipate and prepare for triggers, and
develop a daily structure to help you stick with your plan.
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About the Authors
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Executive coach Marshall Goldsmith teaches at Dartmouth University’s Tuck School of Business. His previous
bestsellers, also co-authored by Mark Reiter, include What Got You Here Won’t Get You There and Mojo.

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