Question: Some people think that social skills are as important as

academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that academic qualifications play an indispensable role in students' future

careers, and now some people suggest that social skills also have an equal significant Commented [AB1]: ‘equally significant’ –add +ly (like an
adverb) onto the first adjective.

role to play. I, therefore, completely agree with this idea and I also believe that

developing social skills could have far more benefits for students.

It is widely accepted that an outstanding academic qualification can assist students to

enter a prestigious multinational company with a decent income. But one fact needs to Commented [AB2]: ‘assist students in entering’ – ‘assist / help
in doing something’.

e.g.
be mentioned is that social skills are just equally significant as academic He assisted in editing the movie.

qualifications. When ones acquire good skills to interact and communicate with
others, these people are able to express their feelings and thoughts well so that they
Commented [AB3]: I don’t think you need to repeat all of this
as you said this in the introduction –
‘However, social skills are just as important’
Commented [AB4]: You could combine these sentences as
the previous can be shortened –
‘‘However, social skills are just as important and when ones
acquire good ……. ’

are more likely to have good relationships with colleagues and supervisors. In this

case, they are more likely to have job satisfaction in the workplace, leading an Commented [AB5]: ‘leading to an …….’
Lead to something.
e.g.
-A diet that is high in fat can lead to obesity.
-The first chapter describes the strange sequence of events that
enjoyable working life. lead to his death.

Furthermore, I tend to believe that if the importance of academic qualifications

explicates how much knowledge students have obtained from universities, social Commented [AB6]: A very rare word – use ‘represents,
embodies, symbolizes’ here.
skills then exhibit practical skills that are useful in our daily life. People who possess Commented [AB7]: Better and clearer words here are
‘transfer into / translate into’ here.

a good interpersonal communication skill, for example, are able to convey others' Commented [AB8]: ‘a good interpersonal communication skills’
– this is always written in plural -‘communication skills’.

thoughts. So they can efficiently finish their work when they negotiate with others. Commented [AB9]: ‘finish their work efficiently’ For adverbs
of manner, they normally go in the end position.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/grammar/british-
grammar/about-adjectives-and-adverbs/adverbs-and-adverb-
Besides, most employees value this type of employers so that they are more likely to phrases-position

Commented [AB10]: You have these words the wrong way

have good promotion prospects than others who do not have such skills. That is to say around –

‘employers value this type of employee’

Commented [AB11]: ‘this type of employee’ – singular; ‘these
that social skills can introduce tangible benefits to students’ later careers. types of employees’ – plural.
Commented [AB12]: ‘prospective / future careers’ – fit your
meaning here.

Prospective meaning – ‘expected or expecting to be the specified

thing in the future’

In conclusion, I totally agree that both social skills and academic qualifications have

an even essential role to play in students' future careers.

Comments:

IELTS Marking Criteria My comments Band score

Task Fulfilment Addresses all parts of the

Cohesion and Coherence
task and the arguments in
all your paragraphs are 7.5
effective, relevant. A
compact and concise
answer which answers the
question directly.
However, there are a
couple of sentences that
need to be clearer.
Uses a range of cohesive
devices appropriately such 7.5
as ‘in this case’; ‘that is to
say’. Excellent cohesion
between sentences and
within sentences and the
 text is overall well-
organised. Some excellent
coherence through the
paragraphs with use of
‘this and ‘when’.
Lexical resource Uses a good range of
vocabulary to allow some
flexibility and precision.
The language is generally 7.0
relevant and appropriate
but again the range is
sufficient. Some good use
of advanced language and
collocations like -‘ have
good promotion prospects’
and ‘introduce tangible
benefits’ with occasional
inaccuracy – ‘employee vs
employer’ and ‘explicates’
and ‘exhibit’.
Grammatical Range Uses a good variety of
and accuracy complex structures. Your
errors are not major and
relate to plural nouns; 7.5
verbs and prepositions –
‘assist in’ and other
prepositional phrases ‘lead
to’. However, an
accomplished level of
grammar.

This is a 7.5. A superb answer with relevant ideas and good grammar. A really good
attempt.