eee ae a See oo] reece ae er Kiara and Xca aris seeking ta evel ad hea am arnieeartemderoees eee Cepek trae Rigs | eae eet cee ae j arrest | ae Career 9 air re errr oae re ees ee ee ee cere Pec aera ay eget eer 1S Heese: peers ures iat Se eae Per cme et rere ered.) ieee canes ||| 20000, >| i eon Crone err PNenoneec cena eareate) ah BITGHES pent een ed econ rons foe‘Acclaim fr Antony, Foxx, and Herrera y Lazano's TRAGIC BITCHES After witnessing the fearless embodied testimonios ofthese poetss from intimate teatro en Berkeley t expansive auditorium en Austin, remain loyal follower of thei palabra, Lovenzo, Dino, and Adelina synthesize disarming invocations of memories lost..and then (te) ‘membered. They offer us biting social ertques of colonial legacies ‘mapped onto MeXican® queer bodies, under the covers. These leree performticts offer us intricate excavations of memory, language, Amor, deseo,confianza, and ultimately... iberation, Micaela Diaz-Sanchez, Ph.D. Assistant Professor of Latina/o Studies, Mount Holyoke College Watch oot cuz the bitches will hunt you down, call you out publicly with thee poetry, and eat you with their bari lyricism, T remember Watching las tes peeform ther tragesias na plaza made stage -tecate land cigarette, it velas, and the moon they Ini tall ut, in pelos en In lengua. Ther shit alking and “puro pinche chisme” was a radical ‘manifesto declaring tei efusal te ive silently. Ain't nothin bat uth, yal andl that's “the way Jotos do it. The way we were meant to.” ‘Vieginia Grise, Playveright, Author ofthe Yale Drama Series-winning bland Co-Author of The Pana Monologues ‘Tragic Bitches was the most beautiful, heartbreaking, love filling, and hilarious pieces to grace our stage itis poetry that is real and speaks four very core Sarah Guerra, Program Director Ea Pena Cultural Centr, Berkeley, CA Letthiscollectionserveasa warningtoalthose hell benton destroying, cach other at any cost ~ betraying family lovers, and even themselves ‘Beaten down ini the dit by violent colonial histories and patriarchal Iwaditions, these Une super hero poctas emerge covered in blood and wrought with fury to resuscitate generations back to life love, land freedom, Heartbroken and smokin’ hot in black eyeliner and tight threads, Adelina Anthony Dino Foxx, and Lorenzo Herrera y [Ebzano sterilege the current state of affairs to throw doven roots for amore beautifl earth = like, pronto, With crystal clarity their razor ‘Sharp tongues repossess anger, sorrow, eat, and desire (lots of i) 3s, revolutionary forces, This definitely isnt for date night, bitches Roya Rastegar, Ph.D. Programmer fr Tribeca Film Festival and Huffinglon Post BloggerTRAGIC BITCHES ‘An Experiment in Queer Xicana & Xicano Performance Poetry Adelina Anthony Dino Foxx Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano Foreword by Anita Tierina Revilla, Ph.D.Copyright ©2013, Adelina Anthony, Dino Foxx, Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano ‘Second Eton All rights reserved, No portion ofthis work maybe reproduced, performed, recorded copied or otherwise transmitted in any form forby any means without written permission eon the authors or publisher excep foredictionalor journalistic purposes, “Broken Spanish’ appeared in Marjuss: A Movers Analogy of Quer Latino Posy (lorcant Press, 208), “oi,” "Childhood Dreams” and “Frio ce Temporal” appeared in (Queer Cade Chile Love (tgo/ Evelyn Street Press, 2008), “Halrpray & Fideo” and “Releosing the X" appeared in Santo a Pin Aza: Poms fom the Queer/Xicano/Posie Pon (Evelyn Street Pros, 205), “Thirst” appeared in Toliceyol Cal (Mujeres de Maiz, 2006). bliss by Kerima Press San Francisco, CA ‘worwikorimapresscom Cover Model: yssey Nicole Whitney Cover Concept: Dino Foxx CCover Photographer: Troy Wise [wsewtroysisephotography.om] Book Design: Lorenzo Flereray Lazano Author photograph crits ‘Aallina Anthony by Naney Charguala Martin Dino Foxx by Manuel "Cros" Esgiive Lorenzo Herrera y Lvano by Orlando Ramnicez ISBN: 978.0.9869673-1-1 our quer acest 6 acts Aprile ent fleGONTENTS Forcwonf by Anita Tiferina Revilla, PRD. ‘Acknotedgements Introduction: A Tragey i Born ‘GANELA SWEET ERUPTIONS You Bring Out the Joto in Me Loving Homegers! Exotic Frjol de Temporal BLESSED AND STAIN-WORTHY Santa Panocha Broken Spanish Childhood Dreams Hlighkicks & Handcuffs BITTER AND SWEET ‘You Never Change Media Gota de Tequila Brokeass Love HUMAK, SPIRITUAL, AND FLAWED Hairspray &Fideo Allin the Family Thirst ‘SED POR UN CONSUELO Hollow Memory ‘Obesas Vuelias dela Vida ‘BROKEN SWEAT AND DREAMS Puck’d Xicana Newfound Religion Withdrawal Releasing the X ‘Tragic Bitches Playlist, Bios Herrera y Lozano Anthony Foxx Herren y Lozano Anthony Foxx Herr y Lozano Foxx Foss Herrera y Lozano Anthony Herre y Lozano Foxx Anthony Foxe Antony Herre Lozano Anthony Herrera Lozano Foss Herrera y Lozano 35 3 2 6 8 31 a 6 oT m %6FOREWORD Offered by Anita Tijerina Revilla Have you ever fallen in ove with someone because they wrote a [poem for you, sang You a song, or stood in your presence with an Altknowing sense that they could see right through you? I have. This is how [fll in love with Adelina Anthony, Dino Fox, and ‘Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano. As heard them recite thelr painful ove ‘ragectes, sing their love obsessions, and Iook at me like they knew those places deep inside me.I ried for healing fll in love Tragic Bitches isa collection of performance poetry that unveils the deep wounding that takes place when we love and desire authentically. Iehas boon my truest pleasure to introduce this work fo my classes and university campus. Reading and hearing their swork took usallon our personal journey of desire love, and healing. 1 is my belief that love is a social construction. Society has ‘constructed our understanding of love ae has taught us that, “love is unconditional,” “faithful,” and “all-powerful,” that it can wipe ‘away our urlsand pains, that itis monogamous, and tha with ove wwe can “live happily ever afte.” Mostof us, who have lived life and Fallen in ancl out of love, have a more complicated understanding ofthis, While many wil stil hold on to these conceptual frameworks of love because they provide us with safe narratives, others have challenged them, pushed their boundaries and completely dispelled them as myths, Trai Bitches dows just that. These poe challenge us to come int ther bedroom, their eommunity, and tele homes 0 ‘experience love and desire through ther bodies, minds, and souls. ‘At times, this makes us wncomfortabe, other times it makes us laugh or recall a moment of pleasure. Al fit pushes us to see the saw nature of love and desir and its aftermath from the perspective of tee fierce Queer Xieanas/s, This book is spit into six sections. They begin with *Canela Sweet Eruptions,” where they take us on the road of radical, chola, and queer obsessive intense “love,” the Kind that reminds you of ‘everything good and comfortable that you have enjoyed in life and that takes you home to fideo, San Antonio, and Selena. Ii the kind ‘of love and joy that only home and cultura can offer you, It reveals ‘your problematicsie, even the non-critical complicated sie that is manifested through your obsessions. The yearning desire on these [pages recalls the love of teenage Vears; back when ve believed in the kind of love that conquered al, back when you were a young chola dreaming of "forever." Anthony challenges us to examine out tough, hard exterior caused by old wounds and "broken citcles” and asks us to consider why we reject love y cari all the while Aesiring itso deeply: Foxx tll s the story’ of being lost in love with 2 “straight” boy, whose heteroflexbility won't allow him to come ‘out of the closet, His story ends with the conviction of knowing when itis time to walk away, and this message follows ws through the rest ofthe book, Section 2, “Blessed and Stain-worthy:” ties together cultara and sexuality, including religion, language, and identity, This is best exemplified by “Chilhood Dreams which exerts the person Fteeray Lozano wan tobecome when he grows ipa Mexican American radical queer, Xicano, Mexicano, activist poet who Chega te pcan roe of hse ee an ngage nan eversvoleing proces. Again there are ferences in {hiectontohome, food and qucer pace, whieh further state the merconeetons and intersections of our mulipe dents “bitter and Sweet” i about purging, breaking up, and deep, deep ‘wounds, Anthony's “Brokeass Love” tells us that love can be lost land forgotten because of the mistakes we make and the things we take for granted, This section can best be summarized with Chavela Vargas’ song, "En un tinen del alma,” as she aplly points out: “Me parce menting, Despsde ber querido Comoe gueride o, ‘Me parece mentira Encontranne ta slo Como me encuentro hay, De gue sire la vida ‘Siaun poco de alegria, Lesign um gr door.” Bat stil, Tragic Bitches continue to love because we are “Human, Spiritual and Flawed.” This section revisits our queer childhoods in Mexican/chol@ /immigrant/ Tejane homes. Unfortunately these hhomesand families weretimesresponsibe or our family betrayal Thus, Dino Foxx calls on his family to maintain thelr traditions but to release the silence and abuse that is passed on like furiture from geneation to generation, Likewise, Adelina Athony tells hermother’s survival story survival of incest, poverty, and violence. Her mother’s “bruised body” isa reminder of the generations of ‘wounds that she (we) have inherited. She says, "Ttasted generations ‘of putrid historia ~ each time your breasts ~ nourished me with your ~Ilanto-stained milk ~ y mama...your hurts sil ive in me. {This isa harsh reminder of the generations of trauma and violence that we have all inherited from our mothers and ancestors. Wecarey their violations, wounds, and survival in our bodies andl psyche. AS [Eden Torres points out in her book, Chica Withow! Apogy, we ae 1 people that experiences posttraumatic stross syndrome because fof the wrongs that have been enacted against our communities However, Trg Bitches testimonies further illustrate the deep wounding that has occurred both inside and outside of our culture “nd families, reminiscent of Gloria Anzalda’s narrative of how our cultura has also betrayed us. Thus beckoning ust heal the wounds ‘Sed por un Consuelo” further accentuates that wounds are often rooted in family and manifested in our bodies and memories. As 2 result there fs a thts for comfort and healing. Inthe final section, “Broken Sweat and Dreams,” the poets go deep and get vulnerable just before they release the anger. Adelina Anthony’s “Fuck’d Xicana” divulges the kinds of contradictions we have as Xicanas/ 05, feminists, progressives, and queers. She reveals hovr pain and betrayal can make us into people who others would not recognize and whose critical consciousness would be questioned during ‘moments of deep injury. She comes out of the experience knowin, {hat she can heal, Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano takes us back to love and worship with a “newfound? lave, which indicates that theze is hope even after all ofthe aching, Dino Foxx wraps up the section swith awe desire and new Tove. All ree poots “Release the X" in the final poem as they forgive, Forget, oF perhaps just rclease the ‘wounds caused by ther tragic lovers and they start anew. [No performance poetry would be compete withouta music playlist. IAs you read thei work, make sure to play these in the background ‘The voices of Lourdes Pérez, Norah Jones, Juan Gabriel ancl many. others ean soothe your soul, release the rage, and remind you that, You are not alone. Gracias, fers, por sus palabras, [love you, and I am grateful for ‘your leaching. ‘Anita Trina Revila, PRD. January 27,2013 [as Vegas, NVAGKNOWLEDGEMENTS We are immensely grateful forthe support and hard work of all those who have contsibuted tothe many’ facets ofthis work, from ting a part-of the on-stage production, including the text in aes sabi, and hosting usin your organizations and university Eampuses Tragic Bites continues to bea labor of community love Individuals ‘Tamara Alvarado Hector Bojorquez Sharon Brigiorth ‘Maniael Cant ‘Tom Capuchin ‘Marivel Danielson, PhD. Micaela Diaz-Ssnchez, PRD. James Matthew Estrella ‘Melissa Galvan Armando Garcia, PAD. (Cliford Gill ‘Sarah Guerra Priscilla A. Hae, LMSW ‘Melissa Hidalgo, PRD. ‘Maricela Infante Karla Legaspy Irene Mata, PhD. ‘Allison Moon Halen Morgan Marcia Ochoa, PLD. Jests Ortega Micaela Perez Orlando Ramirez Martha Ramos-Dufler, PsyD. ‘Anita Trina Revilla, PhD. LA. Trill, PRD. ‘Marissa Vasque? ‘Maw Walker ‘Odyssey Nicole Whitney “Troy Wise Ofelia Yann ‘Yeonne Yarbvo-Bgjarano, PRD.Organizations alge, 2 Statewide Queer People of Color Organization ‘The Historie Vitory Grill JumpStart Performance Co, LA. Gay & Lesbian Center La Pena Cultural Center MACLA Universities Arizona State University University of California, Santa Cruz University of California, Santa Barbara | University of Nevada, Las Vegas ‘Oregon State University University of Pittsburgh Pitzer College Stanford University Wllestey College INTRODUCTION A tragedy is born Wall began om a second-hand couehy by the light of aging candles and to the sound of old bolers. Te artists, feding off sundried Cranberties and sipping corner-store wine, reminisced, lamented land laughed atthe agony of memory. Void of innocence and replete ‘with desolation, Tragic Bitches was born. Tragic Bitches was an experiment, an attempt to dance with the demons of our past and the solace of our present. As poets of broken and fractared homes, our pens are calloused, our bodies the anamnesis of loss. We unveiled the ink-drenched cloth of shame to reveal the tragic moments that stain as much as manteca dripping, from midnight tacos in bed, Resisting legacies of familial silence and community censorship, we ought to dive into the darkest, most corrupt of our poet selves. We sought to scrape the elbows of memory by embracing the sorrow ‘F mutilated loves, dilapidated childhoods and correded dreams. Collectively, we began fo weave together the somber worlds from which we writ,‘Once an stage, we seduced and coerced others to sit in the mud ‘of oar tragedies, We created the illusion of backyard tardeadas, of plasticcovered couches and of hidden cantinas, We nestled our [poetic serenades in the rhythms of aching rancheras, demanding hip hop beats and indelible oldies. As churches of archaic and colonizing rituals, we gave name 1 a poets place of worship, Far too chaotic to be spoken word, Teagic Bitches was conceived as performance poetry We were poet in performance, performers of rhymeless seript, We envisioned a world trapped between revered juke joints and despised hipster coffee shops. We betrayed the ‘writer within us, exposed the weclusive process and fe the voyeurs before us. ‘Tragic Bites was an experiment. Unscientific and flawed, we are ‘uncertain of our succes. iil, we dared open the doors of prevailing closets and threw our defiled laundry tothe wind, We made love to the past, retaliated against the moment ‘This book is the continuation of our experiment. Init, you wil find the poems stumbled upon, performed and whispered into the ears of others. You will find the songs woven within movement and poetry. You will find our storie. As the prying audiences touching the nudity of our vulnerabi ‘we weleome you tocaressthesarslefton these pages. We recognize that our story i the story of many: Perhaps our story is your story ‘Come, traipse the dark corners ofthese poetic memories. ‘Tragle Bitches was performed inthe following venues: 1a Pia Ctra Center Berkley, CA May 6, 2007| Movimiento de Art y Cultura Latino Americana (MACLA) San José, CA November & 9, 2007, LA. Gay & Lesbian Center Hollywood, CA November 10,2007 alo, Statewide Queer People of Color Organization “The Historie Victory Gl ast Austin, TX. March 23,2008eat gute regu ue noe ue die qu teen, qe fu lpn. José Angel Espinoza “Ferrusquilla” Hoban la CalpeYOU BRING OUT THE JOTO IN ME after Sondre Cisneros you bring out the Joto in me the Mata Felix eyebrows the sexually confused macho the Tecate delime the Saturday morning shock lof hickies and phone numbers ‘ou are the one [would hold hands In public with, wile cruising down my old barrio allow you other men in bed, stil believing promises of monogamy and forever efiniely ‘definitely forus you bring out the Chelo Silva in me the bolero in me Ja mano caida, ight jeans ad spiked hale in me the velvet dress on a Sunday marning, lunshaves legs with white nylons in me the spine of Frida in me the butchered Coyoxatge in me the screaming super market baby in me the government cheese in me the chismoso y metiche in me the fetish of evaciixes on a hairy chest in me the J pronounced as Y in me the greasy mllet-ike wavy halen me ‘the Chibushua desert, pecans and red meat in me the love of death in me you know you do oh, you know you do OED HERRERA Un2ANOyou bring out the dag queen in me the perpetual attitude in me the an Gabrie trip and fallin: me the Riverainspired Catrina in me the gay bar bathroom bump in me the Bii-Bidi-Bam-Bont in me the San Antonio 3:00am. fideo con came in me the fondling on the dance floor in me papacit, my sweet obsession Tam the psycho eho stalks your home at night, make sure you're there when you say so T would find a man just to cheat on him with you I want to bottom, top pit and reverse it, with you 1 want fo commit unforgivable sins and bask n them Tvsant to trade Grey Goose for Boones Farm, coke for eck, Banana Republi forthe Gap ‘ne sacas lo maricén en mi, te gusta, chulo you ring out the oo-giving celoso in me the “I'm gonna cut her if he don't stop stain’ at you” in me the high-el-stabbing Esta Noche draga in me the blankestaes at footbll games in me the Texas syphilis breakout nme the AIDS pandemic in me the Out Magazine never soon Mexican cover-boy in me ‘mispronounce my name for you Jnta cigarette and watch how others lust for you, ready to burn whoever gets too close sabes que soy eabron say San Lorenzo quien quema los pis de noche Tam the excessive drinker the insatiable size-queen the sexaddicted promiscuity you bring out the superficial lust-at-first-sight in me ihe vil jealousy in me the voyeur and exhibitionist in me the leather daddy in me sage, Pomada dela Campana, Concha Nacar tretaloca, Jabén ZOTE, mota, Sal de Uvas vende candles all you locas, talented and not, Marisela Monet, Kelly Kling, represent, ges I want t be your loca only your papi ‘be my pap Twant to show you the way jtos doit the way we were meant 10 4 me een a ez se Lorm LOVING HOMEGRRRL Loving my homer sight mean when Tsay, Dani, ests cla, wast! that she goes, What [No for eal, ust deal! & she goes, Shutup Buew, ps ess fe ‘& that’s when homegret, Finally says, Alt bby, ove you! Loving homegrr inthis new way: ‘a mix of stret attitude inthe lingo anela sweet eruptions of carino, might mean our closest comadres say, (@ la Maria Felix raised eyebrow y todo) Whar? Ave dey scamming now? esa good this mad luv & concern ce "party gee &" post heartbroken” ‘seem like a recipe for destruction. “Too many friendships martyred — inour ce of od lovers now friends ‘ld friends with another's od ex ‘nev lovers turned quickly into haterz, Tes that tired old fate of embittered queridas playing the role again of ay, la suid ‘The she clon talk to her—or her or hee! (Ourcinces broken & mended & broken, Tes the YMCA dance of the wayward hhomo-