Appendix:

Example Manual
 Introduction

Notes
_______________________
_______________________
Introduction:
_______________________
_______________________
I-PLAN Framework
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ In this introdution, our focus will be to get oriented to the language and
_______________________ purpose of this manual.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Outcomes
_______________________ • Identify components of the I-PLAN framework.
_______________________ • Practice each aspect of the I-PLAN framework.
• Identify Christlike qualities to practice.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Scripture Study
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ • 1 Nephi 10:17-19 • D&C 42:14
_______________________ • 2 Nephi 2:26-29 • D&C 112:28
_______________________ • Moroni 10:7 • John 8:12
_______________________ • D&C 11:21 • Hebrews 12:9
_______________________

1
 Introduction

I-PLAN Framework Notes

_______________________
When we face a pressing problem, it is human nature to think and act
quickly. Unfortunately, we may be tempted to solve a problem before we really
_______________________
understand it. The I-PLAN is a useful tool to use when making decisions and _______________________
trying to be a more effective leader. It is also used and reference frequently in ______________________
this manual. The five steps from the acronym are listed below. ______________________
Identify Key Objectives and Issues
______________________
Procure the Essential Information ______________________
Lay Out the Analysis _______________________
Adopt a Provisional Course of Action _______________________
Narrate the Planned Story
_______________________
Each of these planning steps draws upon several of the leadership _______________________
capabilities and personal traits we’ll study. The questions in each section on _______________________
the following pages may help you connect your planning process to those _______________________
capabilities and traits. Each section in this Introduction deals with a different
letter of the I-PLAN acronym.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
Identify Key Objectives and Issues _______________________
_______________________
The first step is to figure out what the problem is. Once you get to the heart ______________________
of the issue, you can take the next steps to figure out how to improve the
______________________
situations. There are several questions you can ask yourself to pinpoint the
issue: ______________________
______________________
• What problems do we need to solve? ______________________
• How do those problems rank in importance?
______________________
• What are the apparent (or less apparent) causes of the problems?
• What would an ideal solution look like? ______________________
• What would be a realistic solution in the near and far terms? ______________________
______________________
Write down all the possible answers, so you can look through it and identify
______________________
the primary problem and cause of the problem. Now that you have brainstormed
some solutions, you’ll be better prepared to go through the next four steps. ______________________
______________________
______________________
Procure the Essential Information
______________________
Now that you know the problem, the next step is to obtain the essential ______________________
information that helps us better understand the problem. This will help you ______________________
prepare the best possible solution. Ask yourself the following questions:
______________________
• What things do we know for sure? ______________________
• How complete is our information?
2
 Introduction

Notes • How relevant is our data?

_______________________ • Are there trusted, confidential sources of personal counsel we could
seek?
_______________________
_______________________ Once again, write down all the answers. Writing things down helps you
_______________________ remember them and organize your thoughts and the information you found.
_______________________
_______________________ Lay Out the Analysis
_______________________
In this step we begin to analyze all of the information we gathered from the
_______________________ previous two steps. We try to find out what solutions immediately come to mind
_______________________ and if there will be unintended consequences for implementing those solutions.
_______________________ We also try to pinpoint where the problem started and what went wrong.
_______________________
• How did the current problems begin?
_______________________ • When and where did things begin to go wrong?
______________________ • What actions to fix the problem come immediately to mind?
_______________________ • What will it take to improve the system?
_______________________ • Would it help to be more patient or take more time to address the
problems?
_______________________ • Are some of the people involved focused on bargaining positions
_______________________ instead of interests?
_______________________ • Are there multiple good options for solving the problems?
_______________________
Now that you have written down all that information, you can begin to see
_______________________ where offenses have occurred and what might be done to rectify them.
_______________________
_______________________ Adopt a Provisional Course of Action
_______________________
_______________________ Now that you are beginning to understand what the real problem looks like
_______________________ and what you can do to solve it, it is time to create a plan on what actions
should be taken and what the correct sequence of those actions is.
_______________________
_______________________ • What actions should be taken in which sequence?
_______________________ • What is the right timing for each action?
_______________________ • How quickly can we resolve misunderstandings and express love?
• Are our planned actions designed to be as generous as possible?
_______________________ • Are our motives entirely pure?
_______________________ • What principles do we need to teach?
_______________________ • How will we measure success?
_______________________ • How and when might we know when to modify the plan or choose one
of our other options?
_______________________
_______________________ As you decide on an action plan, remember that there often isn’t a quick fix
_______________________ to the problem. It may take time to solve the issue.

3
 Introduction

Narrate the Planned Story Notes

_______________________
What this step is really about is practicing the challenging conversations you
need to have and to find ways to communicate effectively.
_______________________
_______________________
• How can we deepen our understanding of others’ views and identify ______________________
potential errors in our assumptions? ______________________
• How can we share our vision of what needs to be accomplished?
• How can we shift the conversation from bargaining positions to interests
______________________
and win-win opportunities? ______________________
• How can we convey love, even as we address problems? _______________________
• Is it possible to have our conversations one-on-one, or do we need _______________________
witnesses present?
• How can we praise best efforts, even as we ask for improvement?
_______________________
• How can we lead modestly and unobtrusively? _______________________
• What credit can we give to others? _______________________
_______________________
It’s a good idea to practice and plan out how you will communicate
effectively.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
In Practice ______________________
Remember that these steps are suggestions. When using the I-PLAN
______________________
framework to solve problems, these steps can be used as a guideline, but they ______________________
are just a guide. The steps can be used out of order as needed. Some might even ______________________
be repeated more than others as necessary. The important thing to remember ______________________
is that using these steps is important in making big decisions and becoming a
good disciple leader.
______________________
______________________

4
 Case Study

Notes
_______________________
_______________________
Case Study
_______________________ Throughout this manual, you will use the following case study to practice
_______________________ using the I-PLAN in your everyday life. Each chapter will build on, not only
_______________________ what you’ve learned but also the case study.
_______________________
_______________________ Apartment Anarchy
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Ben Lau was tired and hungry, but he didn’t want to go back to his
_______________________ apartment. As much as he craved something to eat and a good night’s rest
_______________________ before tomorrow’s exam, he knew that there’d be no peace at home. In fact, the
apartment was no “home” at all.
_______________________
_______________________ Ben thought bitterly of how excited he had been to start his freshman year at
_______________________ Spacious, a brand new complex at BYU-Idaho. Mark, a popular kid from his
_______________________ high school, had convinced Ben that Spacious was the place to be. Ben didn’t
know Mark that well; they were from the same home stake, but different wards.
_______________________ It had seemed like a good idea, though, to room with at least one person he
_______________________ knew.
_______________________
_______________________ The new apartment of course looked great the day they moved in. That,
though, was the last time it was ever clean. Mark, Ben soon learned, had no real
_______________________ interest in getting an education, letting alone in cleaning up after himself. For
_______________________ Mark, going away to college was all about having fun, 24/7. He immediately
_______________________ joined two athletic teams, and he never missed a chance to party.
_______________________
Mark quickly fell in with two of their roommates who shared his attitudes
_______________________ toward school versus play. The three of them were never home before midnight
_______________________ unless they brought girls (in which case the girls rarely left before midnight).
_______________________ Mark and the others were always asleep when Ben left for class in the morning.
_______________________ On weekends, they usually planned some kind of “road trip” that took them out
of town through Sunday night.
_______________________
_______________________ Fortunately, the other two members of their six-man apartment were more
responsible. Both were returned missionaries; in fact, they had served together

5
 Case Study

in the same mission. They at least kept their bedrooms clean and showed some Notes
respect for curfew. However, both of the RMs had heavy course loads and
_______________________
showed little concern for the overall cleanliness and spirit of the apartment.
_______________________
For a while Ben followed their lead, ignoring the problems in the hope _______________________
that Mark would come to his senses and realize that this kind of wickedness ______________________
wouldn’t lead to happiness. He tried to take a positive approach, showing
______________________
extra kindness. The results, though, weren’t what he hoped. The first time Ben
vacuumed and straightened their room Mark said a half-hearted, “Thanks.” He ______________________
seemed friendlier for a few days, and Ben briefly took hope. But Mark’s respect ______________________
for the apartment and the Honor Code didn’t change. In fact, if anything he got _______________________
messier, apparently expecting Ben to clean up after him.
_______________________
That left Ben in a bind. It was bad enough that the apartment was filthy _______________________
(unless he cleaned it himself) and that his food was never safe in the _______________________
refrigerator. The greater problem though, was that the spirit of the apartment _______________________
was dark and depressing, so much so that Ben didn’t want to be there. On top of
_______________________
that, Ben began to worry that he personally was in violation of the Honor Code,
for failing to report what was going on. _______________________
_______________________
Haunted by that fear, Ben decided to call an apartment meeting. He carefully _______________________
planned and even prayed about what to say. But things didn’t go according to
_______________________
plan. It didn’t help that two RMs didn’t even show up, leaving Ben to face the
other three alone. _______________________
______________________
Ben began the meeting with a proposal for apartment cleaning, thinking to ______________________
move from there to curfew and other Honor Code issues. However, Mark and
______________________
his buddies would have none of it. “If you wanted a cleaning schedule,” they
argued, “you should have said something at the beginning of the semester. You ______________________
can have a schedule for yourself, but you can’t force it on us.” The apartment ______________________
meeting was over almost the moment it began; there was no chance for Ben to ______________________
even raise his weightier concerns about moral issues.
______________________
Several times since then the bishop had dropped by the apartment, hoping ______________________
to meet the three prodigal roommates (“Mark and the Marauders,” Ben called ______________________
them privately). The bishop didn’t explicitly ask Ben to rat on his roommates, ______________________
but did express concern about them, encouraging Ben to be his “brothers’
______________________
keeper.”
______________________
More recently, the Honor Code Office had begun to call. Mark wasn’t at all ______________________
happy when Ben passed the first message along. He warned Ben to mind his ______________________
own business. That wasn’t easy, given that Mark’s mother was also calling and
______________________
asking Ben questions about her son’s study and spiritual habits. Ben knew that
Mark was on his way to failing the religion class they were taking together, ______________________
on top of the Honor violations. But he didn’t feel comfortable telling Mark’s ______________________
mother the truth. ______________________

6
 Case Study

Notes With a heavy course load and midterms coming up, the trouble in the
_______________________ apartment was the last thing that Ben needed. He was already planning to
change apartments at the break. “If only this were the week before finals,
_______________________ instead of the week before midterms,” he thought. “I’m not sure I can survive
_______________________ another month and a half of this.” There was no choice but to stay for now, and
_______________________ Ben didn’t like any of the options for confronting the problem.
_______________________
_______________________ Challenge
_______________________
_______________________ Put yourself in the position of Ben. Using the I-PLAN format, seek to
_______________________ understand the problems in the apartment and what Ben might do to address
_______________________ them. For now, focus just on Ben’s relationship with Mark, without trying to
account for the other members of the apartment or the people outside of it, such
_______________________ as Mark’s mother or the Honor Office. We’ll address those complexities later.
_______________________
______________________ Try to understand where things started to go wrong between Ben and Mark.
_______________________ Think especially about the potential differences between the ways Ben and
Mark see the situation. Imagine, for example, what Mark might say if we asked
_______________________ what he thinks of Ben.
_______________________
_______________________ Using the I-PLAN framework, try to identify how different expectations
_______________________ and perceptions could have led to problems that are now more complex and
nuanced than they outwardly appear.
_______________________
_______________________ Explore Ben’s options for improving his personal relationship with Mark.
_______________________ Then select one of those options, and with a roommate, family member, or
_______________________ friend practice narrating the conversation you plan to have with Mark. Revise
your analysis and action plan based on what you learn.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Additional Readings
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ • Barbara Thompson. “As I Have Loved You,”
_______________________ Ensign, July 2011.
_______________________ • Joy D. Jones. “A Sin-Resistant Generation,”
_______________________ Ensign, May 2017.
_______________________

7
 Case Study

Notes
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8
 Chapter 1: Jesus Christ

Notes
_______________________
_______________________
Chapter 1:
_______________________
_______________________
Our Example, the
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
Savior Jesus Christ
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
In this chapter, we will learn more about the perfect disciple leader, the Savior,
and how we can follow His example.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Outcomes
_______________________ • Identify leadership characteristics of Jesus Christ.
_______________________ • Discuss the need for Christlike leadership.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Scripture Study
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ • Mark 5:24–34.
_______________________ • Luke 22:51
_______________________ • John 18:11
_______________________
_______________________

9
 Chapter 1: Jesus Christ

Jesus: The Perfect Leader Notes

_______________________
In the Notes section, answer the following question:
What are some leadership characteristics of Jesus Christ?
_______________________
_______________________
Then, read the following excerpts from an address given by President ______________________
Spencer W. Kimball. The full talk can be found in the August 1979 Ensign. ______________________
As you read, annotate the text and highlight important thoughts. Consider the
______________________
following questions: ______________________
• What was the most important thing that you learned from the talk _______________________
“Jesus: The Perfect Leader”? _______________________
• If you had to pick, which of the Savior’s leadership abilities is most
important?
_______________________
• Share a time that you have seen others exemplify these leadership _______________________
characteristics. How did this affect you? _______________________
_______________________
Excerpts­—“Jesus: The Perfect Leader” _______________________
_______________________
Jesus said several times, “Come, follow me.” His was a program of “do what
I do,” rather than “do what I say.” His innate brilliance would have permitted
_______________________
him to put on a dazzling display, but that would have left his followers far _______________________
behind. He walked and worked with those he was to serve. His was not a _______________________
long-distance leadership. He was not afraid of close friendships; he was not ______________________
afraid that proximity to him would disappoint his followers. The leaven of true
leadership cannot lift others unless we are with and serve those to be led.
______________________
______________________
Jesus was a listening leader. Because he loved others with a perfect love, he ______________________
listened without being condescending. A great leader listens not only to others, ______________________
but also to his conscience and to the promptings of God.
______________________
*** ______________________
Jesus saw sin as wrong but also was able to see sin as springing from deep
and unmet needs on the part of the sinner. This permitted him to condemn the ______________________
sin without condemning the individual. We can show forth our love for others ______________________
even when we are called upon to correct them. We need to be able to look ______________________
deeply enough into the lives of others to see the basic causes for their failures ______________________
and shortcomings.
______________________
***
The Savior’s leadership was selfless. He put himself and his own needs
______________________
second and ministered to others beyond the call of duty, tirelessly, lovingly, ______________________
effectively. So many of the problems in the world today spring from selfishness ______________________
and self-centeredness in which too many make harsh demands of life and others ______________________
in order to meet their demands. This is a direct reversal of the principles and
practices pursued so perfectly by that perfect example of leadership, Jesus of
______________________
Nazareth. ______________________

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 Chapter 1: Jesus Christ

Notes Jesus’ leadership emphasized the importance of being discerning with regard
_______________________ to others, without seeking to control them. He cared about the freedom of his
followers to choose. Even he, in those moments that mattered so much, had
_______________________ to choose voluntarily to go through Gethsemane and to hang on the cross at
_______________________ Calvary. He taught us that there can be no growth without real freedom. One of
_______________________ the problems with manipulative leadership is that it does not spring from a love
_______________________ of others but from a need to use them. Such leaders focus on their own needs
and desires and not on the needs of others.
_______________________
_______________________ ***
Jesus knew how to involve his disciples in the process of life. He gave
_______________________ them important and specific things to do for their development. Other leaders
_______________________ have sought to be so omnicompetent that they have tried to do everything
_______________________ themselves, which produces little growth in others. Jesus trusts his followers
enough to share his work with them so that they can grow. That is one of the
_______________________ greatest lessons of his leadership. If we brush other people aside in order to see
_______________________ a task done more quickly and effectively, the task may get done all right, but
______________________ without the growth and development in followers that is so important.
_______________________
Because Jesus knows that this life is purposeful and that we have been placed
_______________________ on this planet in order to perform and grow, growth then becomes one of the
_______________________ great ends of life as well as a means. We can give corrective feedback to others
_______________________ in a loving and helpful way when mistakes are made.
_______________________ ***
_______________________ We must remember that those mortals we meet in parking lots, offices,
_______________________ elevators, and elsewhere are that portion of mankind God has given us to love
and to serve. It will do us little good to speak of the general brotherhood of
_______________________ mankind if we cannot regard those who are all around us as our brothers and
_______________________ sisters.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________

11
 Chapter 1: Jesus Christ

Reflection Activity Notes

_______________________
What principles will you apply in your life this week from this address? Below _______________________
is a list of suggested leadership qualities that can help you become more like
the Savior. _______________________
______________________
Suggested Leadership Qualities ______________________
Church leadership role ______________________
• Improve calling performance ______________________
• Participate in missionary work _______________________
• Help someone who is struggling
_______________________
• Reach out to less-active members
• Participate more fully in your ward/branch _______________________
• Help others fulfill their callings _______________________
An employment leadership role _______________________
• Increasing the productivity of your team
_______________________
• Improve team/organization moral
• Help a struggling team member _______________________
• Help your organization meet a goal _______________________
• A family/friendship leadership role _______________________
• Become a better parent
_______________________
Better fulfill your role as a husband/wife
• Improve a struggling relationship _______________________
• Help a family better live the gospel ______________________
• Create a Christ centered home ______________________
• Help a wayward family member
______________________
A peer/school group leadership role
• Help someone become more involved ______________________
• Help someone be successful in school ______________________
• Increase personal participation ______________________
Another significant personal challenge
______________________
• Personal weakness
______________________
______________________
______________________
Additional Readings ______________________
______________________
______________________
• James E. Faust. “These I will make my leaders,” ______________________
______________________
Ensign, October 1980.
______________________
• Stephen W. Owen. “The Greatest Leaders Are the ______________________
Greatest Followers,” Ensign, April 2016. ______________________

12
Chapter 1: Jesus Christ

Think About This:

Christ was the ultimate leader, and since we strive to become His disciples, we must learn to become like
Him. Below is a simple questionnaire about various Christlike attributes. Answer honestly and you’ll see some
areas where you can adopt more Christlike qualities into your life. This quiz is found on lds.org and in Preach
My Gospel.

Attribute Activity
Read each statement and decide how true that statement is about you. Choose the best answer from the
response key. Write your responses in this book or your study journal.

Spiritual growth is a gradual process, and no one is perfect, so you should expect to rate yourself better
on some attributes than on others. As you complete the quiz, identify the attribute you most need or want to
develop.

Response Key
1 = Never
2 = Sometimes
3 = Often
4 = Almost always
5 = Always

Faith
____1. I believe in Christ and accept Him as my
Savior. (2 Nephi 25:29)
____2. I feel confident that God loves me.
(1 Nephi 11:17)
____3. I trust the Savior enough to accept His will and
do whatever He asks. (1 Nephi 3:7)
____4. I firmly believe that through the Atonement of
Jesus Christ I can be forgiven of all my sins.
(Enos 1:5-8)
____5. I have enough faith in Christ to obtain answers
to my prayers. (Mosiah 27:14)
____6. I think about the Savior during the day
and remember what He has done for me.
(D&C 20:77, 79)
____7. I have the faith necessary to help make good
things happen in my life or the lives of others.
(Ether 12:12)
____8. I know by the power of the Holy Ghost that the
Book of Mormon is true. (Moroni 10:3-5)
____9. I have enough faith in Christ to accomplish
anything He wants me to do--even miracles if
necessary. (Moroni 7:33)
13
Hope
____10. One of my greatest desires is to inherit
eternal life in the celestial kingdom of God.
(Moroni 7: 41)
____11. I am confident that I will have a happy and
successful life. (D&C 31:3-5)
____12. I feel peaceful and optimistic about the future.
(D&C 59:23)
____13. I firmly believe that someday I will dwell
with God and become like Him.
Charity and Love
____14. I feel a sincere desire for the eternal welfare
and happiness of other people. (Mosiah 28:3)
____15. When I pray, I ask for charity—the pure love
of Christ. (Moroni 7:47–48)
____16. I try to understand others’ feelings and see
their point of view. (Jude 1:22)
____17. I forgive others who have offended or
wronged me. (Ephesians 4:32)
____18. I try to help others when they are struggling
or discouraged. (Mosiah 18:9)

____19. When appropriate, I tell others that I love
them and care about them. (Luke 7:12–15)
____20. I look for opportunities to serve other people.
(Mosiah 2:17)
____21. I say positive things about others.
(D&C 42:27)
____22. I am kind and patient with others, even when
they are hard to get along with. (Moroni 7:45)
____23. I find joy in others’ achievements.
(Alma 17:2–4)
Virtue
____24. I am clean and pure in heart. (Psalm 24:3-4)
____25. I have no desire to do evil but to do good.
(Mosiah 5:2)
____26. I am dependable--I do what I say I will do.
(Alma 53:20)
____27. I focus on righteous, uplifting thoughts and
put unwholesome thoughts out of my mind.
(D&C 121:45)
____28. I repent of my sins and strive to overcome my
weaknesses. (D&C 49:26-28)
____29. I feel the influence of the Holy Ghost in my
life. (D&C 11:12-13)
Knowlegde
____30. I feel confident in my understanding of gospel
doctrines and principles. (Ether 3:19–20)
____31. I study the scriptures daily. (John 5:39)
____32. I earnestly seek to understand the truth and
find answers to my questions. (D&C 6:7)
____33. I receive knowledge and guidance through
the Spirit. (1 Nephi 4:6)
____34. I love and cherish the doctrines and
principles of the gospel. (2 Nephi 4:15)
Patience
____35. I wait patiently for the blessings and
promises of the Lord to be fulfilled.
(2 Nephi 10:17)
____36. I am able to wait for things without getting
upset or frustrated. (Romans 8:25)
____37. I am patient and long-suffering with the
challenges of being a missionary. (Alma 17:11)
____38. I am patient with the faults and weaknesses
of others. (Romans 15:1)
Chapter 1: Jesus Christ
____39. I am patient with myself and rely on the
Lord as I work to overcome my weaknesses.
(Ether 12:27)
____40. I face adversity and afflictions calmly and
hopefully. (Alma 34:40–41)
Humility
____41. I am meek and lowly in heart.
(Matthew 11:29)
____42. I rely on the Lord for help. (Alma 26:12)
____43. I am sincerely grateful for the blessings I
have received from the Lord. (Alma 7:23)
____44. My prayers are earnest and sincere.
(Enos 1:4)
____45. I appreciate direction from my leaders or
teachers. (2 Nephi 9:28)
____46. I strive to be submissive to the Lord’s will,
whatever it may be. (Mosiah 24:15)
Diligence
____47. I work effectively, even when I’m not under
pressure or close supervision. (D&C 58:26–27)
____48. I focus my efforts on the most important
things. (Matthew 23:23)
____49. I have a personal prayer at least twice a day.
(Alma 34:18–27)
____50. I focus my thoughts on my duty as a Christ-
like leader. (D&C 4:2, 5)
____51. I set goals and plan regularly. (D&C 88:119)
____52. I work hard until the job is completed
successfully. (D&C 10:4)
____53. I find joy and satisfaction in my work.
(Alma 36:24–25)
Obedience
____54. When I pray, I ask for strength to resist
temptation and to do what is right.
(3 Nephi 18:15)
____55. I keep the required commandments to be
worthy of a temple recommend. (D&C 97:8)
____56. I willingly obey the mission rules and follow
the counsel of my leaders. (Hebrews 13:17)
____57. I strive to live in accordance with the laws
and principles of the gospel. (D&C 41:5)
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Chapter 2: Notes
_______________________
_______________________
Thinking Intuitively _______________________
______________________
______________________
and Intentionally ______________________
______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
In this chapter, we will be exploring and applying the skill of Thinking _______________________
Intuitively and Intentionally. Being able to think both intuitively and _______________________
intentionally is critical in applying the I-PLAN process, and is a key factor in
decision making and becoming a disciple leader. Together we will explore the
______________________
difference between these two ways of thinking, and how to use both methods ______________________
effectively. ______________________
______________________
Outcomes ______________________
• Identify the differences between thinking intuitively and thinking
______________________
intentionally. ______________________
• Discuss the value of thinking both intuitively and intentionally. ______________________
• Apply the decision-making principle of thinking intuitively and ______________________
intentionally to a hypothetical situation.
______________________
______________________
______________________
Scripture Study ______________________
______________________
• Proverbs 12:15 ______________________
• Doctrine and
• Doctrine and ______________________
Covenants 64:9-10
Covenants 58:42 • 3 Nephi 23:7-13 ______________________
• Exodus 34:27 ______________________

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 Chapter 2: Thinking Intuitively

Notes Intuitive and Intentional Thinking

_______________________
_______________________ The human mind is a marvel
_______________________ of intuitive reasoning. People can
_______________________ solve problems that baffle the
most sophisticated computers.
_______________________ Surprisingly, that problem-solving
_______________________ ability is not dependent on formal
_______________________ education or life experience. In
_______________________ fact, young children can be more
creative problem-solvers than
_______________________ adults, even adults with formal
_______________________ training in thinking.
_______________________
_______________________ Allison Gopnik, a research
psychologist and Wall Street
______________________ Journal contributor, has observed:
_______________________ Preschoolers are remarkably
_______________________ good at creating brand new, out-
_______________________ of-the-box creative concepts and
hypotheses in a way that computers
_______________________ can’t even begin to match.
_______________________ Preschoolers are also remarkably
_______________________ good at creating chaos and mess,
_______________________ as all parents know, and that
may actually play a role in their
_______________________ creativity… The thought processes of three-year-olds often seem random, even
_______________________ crazy. But children have an uncanny ability to zero in on the right sort of weird
_______________________ hypothesis—in fact, they can be substantially better at this than grown-ups.1
_______________________
That is a surprising statement, one that might naturally trigger disbelief. But
_______________________ today we’ll explore psychological research that explains why children have a
_______________________ problem-solving advantage over many adults, particularly adults who are extra-
_______________________ confident of their reasoning abilities. Such confidence flows naturally from
_______________________ formal education and life experience, the very thing that university education is
designed to give you.
_______________________
_______________________ Fortunately, BYU-Idaho provides education and experience in an uncommon,
_______________________ counterintuitive way. Our approach to teaching and learning is based on the
_______________________ Gospel of Jesus Christ. He taught: “Except ye be converted, and become as
little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.”2 As we’ll see, the
_______________________ Savior held up children as exemplifying more than the quality of heart required
_______________________ to qualify for celestial glory. He also may have been pointing to the quality
_______________________ of mind essential to creating and presiding righteously over worlds as our
_______________________ Heavenly Father does.

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 Chapter 2: Thinking Intuitively

Of course, learning and experience are essential to doing this, as we know Notes
from the Plan of Salvation. But we must take care to learn without letting our
_______________________
accumulated knowledge become a hindrance to thinking the way that Heavenly
Father and the Savior do. _______________________
_______________________
Questions to Ponder: ______________________
______________________
• What qualities do the scriptures attribute to children that we should
aspire to attain in order to reach our potential?
______________________
• How might these qualities help us as we approach problems? Can you ______________________
think of an example where these traits might be particularly effective? _______________________
• What are some ways you might trust more on booksmarts, or formal _______________________
educational learning in problem-solving situations?
_______________________
Nobel Prize winning behavioral scientist Professor Kahneman tells the story
_______________________
of testing such smart students at Princeton University and the University of _______________________
Michigan. _______________________
_______________________
Each student received this math problem, which you can answer for
yourself: A bat and a ball cost $1.10 in total. The bat costs $1 more than the
_______________________
ball. How much does the ball cost? If you answered, “Ten cents,” you made _______________________
the same intuitive guess that more than half of the students at these prestigious _______________________
universities did. In fact, that was my answer the first time I heard this question. _______________________
But if you took the time to write out two simple equations, you probably got
the right answer, “Five cents.” Here are those equations: Bat + Ball = $1.10
______________________
Bat – Ball = $1.00 You don’t need to know advanced algebra to add these two ______________________
equations and see that the “Ball” terms cancel each other, leaving the cost ______________________
of two bats equal to $2.10. Dividing by two in order to find the cost of just ______________________
one bat, you get the answer $1.05. Putting that figure into either of the two
equations, you find that the ball costs just five cents.
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________

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 Chapter 2: Thinking Intuitively

Notes How did our “smart” intuitive brains get fooled into the wrong answer?
_______________________ For one thing, we were given two numbers and asked for a third number. It
was natural and easy to simply subtract the smaller number we received from
_______________________ the larger one. Moreover, the answer that approach gives, ten cents, seems
_______________________ intuitively right: the big, heavy bat could reasonably cost ten times as much as
_______________________ the smaller, lighter ball. By contrast, the real answer takes more time and effort
_______________________ to get. We have to switch from easy intuitive thinking to harder intentional
thinking. Also, the answer produced by our mathematical labors, five cents,
_______________________ seems too low. Could a bat really be twenty times as expensive as a ball? But
_______________________ that objection, though intuitive, is at odds with the facts we received. Intuition
_______________________ is only helpful if it leads us to the true answer.
_______________________
Unfortunately, it’s not until high school or even college that smart, intuitive
_______________________ kids begin to appreciate the academic disciplines that facilitate intentional
_______________________ thinking. These disciplines include statistics and history and literature and
_______________________ psychology. Study of these subjects helps us appreciate insights that go beyond
______________________ our personal experiences and understanding, which are the sources of intuitive
thinking. Yet by the time we’re in high school we are already practicing the
_______________________ reasoning errors common to even the smartest intuitive thinkers. At that point,
_______________________ the things we learn from teachers and books aren’t likely to change our thought
_______________________ processes much. A related problem of intuitive thinking is that we don’t realize
_______________________ how much we can be influenced by personal experiences, especially the more
recent ones. In other words, the way we see things depends partly on what
_______________________ things we have seen recently.
_______________________
_______________________ Yet another danger lies in the human tendency to presume that we have
_______________________ more control over the world around us than may actually be the case. That is
particularly likely for college students. To earn admission at a university like
_______________________ BYU-Idaho, you had to set and achieve difficult goals, such as doing well in
_______________________ school and living high moral standards. Many of your friends may have failed
_______________________ to achieve these goals. It is natural to assume that your success is evidence of
_______________________ your ability to overcome obstacles. This confidence can be very valuable; as is
the remarkable power of the intuitive mind we received at birth. But confidence
_______________________ and intuition can be liabilities as well as assets. We need more than confidence
_______________________ and intuition to become effective decision makers and disciple leaders. To our
_______________________ powers of intuition we must add the ability to think intentionally.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________

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 Chapter 2: Thinking Intuitively

Case Study: Apartment Anarchy Notes

_______________________
_______________________
Ben’s Story of his Apartment Problem
_______________________
You may recall that the protagonist of the case, Ben, is stuck in an unpleasant ______________________
situation. The friend he chose to room with at BYU-Idaho, Mark, is in spiritual ______________________
and academic trouble. Two other roommates, whom Ben privately refers ______________________
to as “The Marauders,” have involved Mark in apartment violations of the
______________________
Honor Code—and the health code. Ben’s other two roommates are returned
missionaries, but they won’t join in his efforts to restore order. Ben feels _______________________
embattled not just inside the apartment. He is also feeling pressure from outside _______________________
forces, including the bishop, the Student Honor Office, and Mark’s mother. _______________________
_______________________
The situation seems overwhelming, particularly after his two failed attempts
to improve it. The indirect approach, cleaning Mark’s part of their bedroom, _______________________
worked initially but ultimately failed; ironically, Ben’s attempt at kindness _______________________
seemed to make things slightly worse in the end. And his strategy of direct _______________________
confrontation made things much worse. Ben’s attempt to force an apartment
_______________________
meeting produced a blow up.
_______________________
He is now avoiding the apartment whenever possible. He feels tempted to _______________________
ignore the problems there until the end of the semester, when he can move _______________________
elsewhere. Now, let’s apply our new insights about the human mind to Ben’s
______________________
dilemma.
______________________
When we make decisions and assumptions without facts, we make mistakes. ______________________
The “Apartment Anarchy” case doesn’t provide the detailed facts we could ______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
Sherlock Holmes warned:
______________________
“It is a [grave] mistake to theorize before one has data.”3
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 Chapter 2: Thinking Intuitively

Notes get from a conversation with Ben. But we can see that Ben faces a situation
_______________________ in which calm, intentional thinking would be difficult for anyone. He is living
away from home for the first time. In addition to carrying a heavier homework
_______________________ load than he did in high school, he now has to cook and clean for himself. And,
_______________________ in place of the emotional and spiritual support he received from his family
_______________________ at home, he now faces the drain of an apartment that is lonely and spiritually
_______________________ strength-sapping.
_______________________ Under these circumstances it would be natural for Ben to see his situation
_______________________ as darker than it really is, or at least darker than it could be. According to his
_______________________ story, Ben was tricked into rooming with Mark, who never intended to be his
_______________________ friend and is now living out his original plan to escape to college and join The
Marauders in riotous living. But is it possible that the reality is at least slightly
_______________________ different? There are reasons to wonder. For example, Ben’s view portrays Mark
_______________________ as though they were never friends. Yet Mark felt connected enough to Ben to
_______________________ seek him out as a roommate. It seems likely that they shared experiences in
______________________ high school and at stake youth activities.
_______________________ If we could ask Mark, he might tell a different story. Perhaps he really looked
_______________________ forward to being Ben’s friend and was surprised to learn that Ben had an all-
_______________________ work-and-no-play attitude toward college. Mark might have been disappointed
_______________________ and even offended when Ben wouldn’t join him and The Marauders at the Get
Connected activities before school started. By now he surely knows that Ben
_______________________ doesn’t like him. But he may think the dislike is personal, rather than a matter
_______________________ of the Honor Code and apartment cleanliness. Mark also might not be as happy
_______________________ with The Marauders as he appears. He may feel caught in a situation he doesn’t
_______________________ like but can’t find a way to escape. Perhaps he is a Prodigal Son ready to come
home, if only he can find someone to help. That may not be likely, but it’s
_______________________ possible.
_______________________
_______________________ Questions to Ponder:
_______________________ • Can you think of an experience where you have felt like Ben? In the
_______________________ moment, was it hard for you to see the needs and feelings of others?
• Looking back, do you feel like you have a better understanding of what
_______________________ others might have been going through in that moment?
_______________________ • What are some assumptions we tend to make when we are making
_______________________ decisions and we feel victimized by the actions of others?
_______________________
Ben may have likewise misjudged the two RMs. They did serve missions,
_______________________ and they’re responsible students, at least academically. Perhaps they are not
_______________________ as unconcerned and detached as they appear. It is human nature to assume bad
_______________________ motives and intentions on the part of someone who has hurt us. But more often
_______________________ the hurts are unintentional. It’s true that the RMs missed the apartment meeting
Ben called. But suppose they avoided the meeting intentionally, sensing that a
_______________________ high-stakes confrontation wouldn’t go well. It’s even possible that they have a
_______________________ plan of their own for helping Mark. Perhaps one or both of them has talked to
Mark in a low-stakes, private setting. They may have seen a side of him that

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 Chapter 2: Thinking Intuitively

Ben hasn’t. In fact, the RMs may also have a view of Ben that he needs to be Notes
aware of. They might point out, for example, that when Ben goes into his room
_______________________
to study and closes the door, Mark feels trapped with The Marauders and their
friends in the living room. Ben could actually be contributing to the situation he _______________________
detests. _______________________
______________________
Seeking Counsel
______________________
Unfortunately, the story in Ben’s mind is too tight to leave room for these ______________________
possibilities, even if they occurred to him. As he sees things, it is a case of a ______________________
righteous, helpless victim among three villains and two guilty bystanders. That _______________________
story supports the decision he has already made, which is to move to a new
_______________________
apartment.
_______________________
At this point, he not only has no room for contrary facts in the story, he _______________________
doesn’t want any. He is settled in his decision, and changing his mind wouldn’t _______________________
just require an admission that the story is wrong. It would require him to return
_______________________
emotionally to the uncertainty he wants to escape. On top of all that, changing
his view might leave him with some repenting to do, for having misjudged his _______________________
roommates. _______________________
_______________________
Ben, and we, should remember a quote from Mark Twain:
_______________________
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what _______________________
you know for sure that just ain’t so.” ______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________

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Notes Gathering information to fill gaps in our knowledge is critical to good

_______________________ decision making. When we do make decisions without testing assumptions,
as our intuitive minds tend to do, we are likely to stop the search for new
_______________________ information of any kind. As a result, we are unlikely to test our current
_______________________ assumptions or to form new assumptions. Many of the most disastrous
_______________________ decisions have been made by very confident people who felt no need for
_______________________ additional study.
_______________________ Most people remember King Solomon as the wisest King of Israel. But
_______________________ most people forget that it was a gift he specifically asked for. It’s notable that
_______________________ Solomon did not ask for intelligence, or even wisdom. Instead he requested “an
_______________________ understanding heart.”4

_______________________ Researchers have found that people make better decisions when they consult
_______________________ with others, even if those people don’t have special expertise.5 It turns out
_______________________ that decision-making improves simply because two or more people can bring
______________________ different perspectives to bear on a problem. Their intuitive views are more
accurate collectively because they are more complete than any one person’s
_______________________ view. Group consensus becomes even more accurate when people debate
_______________________ their differences of opinion and seek additional data to decide who is right.
_______________________ Collectively, they become better at both intuitive thinking and intentional
_______________________ thinking. Solomon said it this way: Without counsel purposes are disappointed:
but in the multitude of counselor they are established. 6

_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ The Pitfall of Pride
_______________________
_______________________ We often don’t seek counsel. We may rationalize that taking time to seek
_______________________ counsel will slow us down and perhaps conflict with our initial impressions,
which we want to trust. But the real reason is more likely to be our pride.
_______________________ Particularly when we are in positions of leadership, there is a temptation to
_______________________ appear self assured, even when we have doubts about a decision or proposed
course of action. Solomon wisely warned, “Pride goeth before destruction, and

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 Chapter 2: Thinking Intuitively

a haughty spirit before a fall.”7 Admitting uncertainty is hard, especially when Notes
we have leadership responsibilities.
_______________________
Try to imagine a candidate for political office answering a question from a _______________________
news reporter or a fellow candidate with the words, “I’m not sure,” or “What do _______________________
you think?” That sounds like a recipe for losing an election. Yet the truth is that ______________________
leaders who refuse to admit uncertainty and take counsel when necessary will
______________________
quickly lose faith with those they hope to lead.
______________________
The surest source of counsel is the Holy Ghost. After we have taken counsel ______________________
with wise and trusted mortals, we should seek confirmation of our decisions _______________________
from the one sure source of wisdom. The final voice we hear will be the softest.
_______________________
It is still and small, and it comes to both mind and heart.8 When we have heard
that voice, we can move forward with perfect confidence. _______________________
_______________________
Remembering Well _______________________
_______________________
It is important to note, though, that such a moment of clarity could actually _______________________
come back to haunt us if we simply acted on the inspiration received without _______________________
reflecting on the long, often difficult process which produced it. Let’s go back
to Ben’s case to see the potential danger. Let’s suppose that Ben took counsel
_______________________
with the RMs about the situation with his roommate, Mark. Suppose that they _______________________
helped Ben to see Mark more charitably and to recognize things he had been _______________________
doing unintentionally to drive Mark away. That would naturally produce a ______________________
welcome sense of relief and optimism about the future. Ben might even decide
to stay in the apartment for another semester, to see if he could mend his
______________________
relationship with Mark. That charitable decision would make Ben feel better ______________________
still. With forgiveness in his heart, he is likely to forget some of the frustration ______________________
he felt toward Mark, or at least to see it as being less painful than he perceived ______________________
at the time.
______________________
In particular, our minds are prone to define an experience by the way it ______________________
ended. For example, when a close friendship ends in a blowup, our memories ______________________
of years of happiness may be eclipsed by the sad note at the end. On the other ______________________
hand, a painful medical procedure that hurts less at the end may be remembered
as relatively pleasant. What Professor Kahneman calls “the experiencing self” is
______________________
betrayed by “the remembering self,” much as our intuitive thinking can betray ______________________
our intentional thinking. Ben runs this risk. If things turn out well for him, as ______________________
we have supposed, he’s likely to forgive and truly forget much of the pain he ______________________
felt. But he may also forget the pain he unintentionally caused to Mark and his
other roommates. If that happens, he could make similar mistakes in the future.
______________________
______________________
The Lord, through prophets and His own statements, has warned repeatedly ______________________
against forgetfulness. For example, after forty years of instruction and miracles ______________________
in the desert, Moses gave this charge to the Children of Israel: “[T]ake heed to
thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes
______________________
have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life…”­9 Moses
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 Chapter 2: Thinking Intuitively

Notes did more than merely challenge his people to remember well. He left a lengthy
_______________________ written record for them. It includes the first five books of the Old Testament:
Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. The Lord commanded
_______________________ him to do this.
_______________________
_______________________ Our scriptures are evidence of the value the Lord places on written records.
_______________________ You may recall that He even inspected and corrected the records of the Nephites
when He visited them. They had forgotten to write the prophecy of Samuel the
_______________________ Lamanite that many saints would rise from the dead and minister at the time
_______________________ of the Savior’s resurrection.10 The example of Moses and other prophets can
_______________________ be very valuable to decision makers and disciple leaders. There is a simple but
_______________________ strong antidote to the problems of selective memory and forgetting. It is to keep
a daily record of our experiences. Such a personal journal can be a powerful
_______________________ tool not only for remembering but for understanding the events, thoughts, and
_______________________ feelings of our lives.
_______________________
______________________ Journal-writing creates the opportunity to think intentionally about our
intuitive thoughts and feelings. Record the important events of the day,
_______________________ especially key decisions and interactions with other people, in enough detail to
_______________________ create an accurate record of what really happened. Recognizing the tendency to
_______________________ remember selectively, try to recall the whole story, not just the biggest events
_______________________ or the last thing that happened. Invariably, thinking carefully will help you to
remember important details you may have already forgotten.
_______________________
_______________________ This kind of daily analysis can be invaluable to decision makers and disciple
_______________________ leaders. It has the potential to multiply the remarkable power of our human
_______________________ intuition by helping us think more intentionally. It can also help us see the need
to humbly seek counsel and repent of hasty, uncharitable judgments. A good
_______________________ journal-writer can potentially combine the humility and creativity of a child
_______________________ with the wisdom and patience of a sage.
_______________________
_______________________ In addition to recording what really happened, try to answer questions such
as these:
_______________________ • Why did things happen that way?
_______________________ • What were the key causes and effects?
_______________________ • What wrong assumptions did my colleagues and I make at the time?
_______________________ • What could we have done differently to achieve a better outcome?
• How can we fix our mistakes?
_______________________ • Whose forgiveness and understanding do I need to seek?
_______________________ • How can I strengthen my relationships with my colleagues?
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________

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Notes
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
References:
1. Alison Gopnik, “What a Child Can Teach a Small Computer,” The Wall _______________________
Street Journal, January 22, 2015. _______________________
2. Matthew 18:3. ______________________
3. Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet, Chapter 3. ______________________
4. 1 Kings 3:9
5. Proverbs 11:14. ______________________
6. James Surowiecki, The Wisdom of Crowds, 2005. ______________________
7. Proverbs 15:22. ______________________
8. Proverbs 16:18. ______________________
9. 1 Kings 19:11-12; Doctrine and Covenants.
10. Deuteronomy 4:9. ______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________

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Notes Reflection Activity

_______________________
_______________________
Instructions
_______________________
_______________________ Now that you have read and reflected on this week’s essay and applied those
_______________________ principles to the case studies, it is time to reflect apply the principles you are
_______________________ learning to your personal life.
_______________________
Paragraph 1: Identify one life event from your past where you failed to live
_______________________ life according to the principle in this lesson’s essay.
_______________________ • Identify at least two negative consequences that flowed from this event
_______________________ as a result of not living according to true principles.
_______________________ • Rewrite the negative experience as if you were living it over again using
the principle you learned for the week coupled with addition principles
_______________________ taught in previous lessons.
______________________ • Find What are the positive changes that occurred?
_______________________ • How did the event likely change as you manage the situation according
_______________________ to true principles?
•
_______________________ Paragraph 2: Identify a second life event from your past where you failed to
_______________________ live life according to the principle in this lesson’s essay.
_______________________ • Identify at least two negative consequences that flowed from this event
_______________________ as a result of not living according to true principles.
• Rewrite the negative experience as if you were living it over again using
_______________________ the principle you learned for the week coupled with addition principles
_______________________ taught in previous lessons.
_______________________ • What are the positive changes that occurred?
_______________________ • How did the event likely change as you manage the situation according
to true principles?
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Additional Readings
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ • The Story of King Solomon (1 Kings 3:5-12)
_______________________ • Henry B. Eyring. “Adversity,” Ensign, April 2009.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________

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Notes
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 Chapter 3: Harnessed Impulses

Notes
_______________________
_______________________
Chapter 3:
_______________________
_______________________
Harnessed Impulses
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
______________________
_______________________
_______________________ In this chapter, we will be learning about the next leadership character trait:
_______________________ harnessed impulses. Bad decisions are often a product of one of two opposite
_______________________ weaknesses: procrastination or impulsiveness. In order to be an effective
_______________________ disciple leader we have to learn to avoid procrastination without acting
impulsively. This can be a tricky balance, but learning to do so will benefit you
_______________________ and those you lead.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
Outcomes
_______________________ • Describe how both procrastination and impulsiveness can be detrimental to
the decision-making process.
_______________________
• Apply the leadership characteristic of harnessed impulses to a hypothetical
_______________________ and a historical situation.
_______________________ • Describe how the leadership characteristic applies to your own areas of
_______________________ leadership and stewardship.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Scripture Study
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ • Mosiah 3
_______________________ • Doctrine &
_______________________ Covenants 8
_______________________ • Luke 15:11-32

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 Chapter 3: Harnessed Impulses

Harnessed Impulses Notes

_______________________
In our personal lives we are often impulsive and lazy in roughly equal _______________________
proportions. We are about as likely to procrastinate home or visiting teaching as
we are to buy the first thing we see, without shopping around. _______________________
______________________
But the balance tends to shift when we are in a formal leadership position, ______________________
with people that report to us. When others are watching and depending on our ______________________
decisions and actions, we are much more likely to err by acting quickly.
______________________
A leader who fails to act is subject to immediate criticism. By contrast, an _______________________
action taken quickly has at least two advantages for a leader who wants to _______________________
appear strong. Ideally, the action will turn out to be right. But even if the quick _______________________
decision is a bad one, in most cases it won’t be immediately obvious. Thus, if a
leader wants to appear effective, it is less risky to act quickly than it is to delay. _______________________
_______________________
Natural Impulses _______________________
_______________________
Impulsiveness is one of the great tests of our mortal existence. When our _______________________
eternal spirits were placed in mortal bodies, our patience, whatever it may have _______________________
been in the preexistence, seems to have dropped dramatically. Anyone who has _______________________
cared for a newborn infant appreciates that reality.
_______________________
You can see childhood impulsiveness in experiments known as “The ______________________
Marshmallow Test.” The test was first conducted by Professor Walter Mischel ______________________
in the late 1960s at Bing Nursery School, which is operated by Stanford ______________________
University. The test is simple. A child is invited into a room with a chair and a
table. On the table is a marshmallow. The child is told that he or she will be left ______________________
alone with the marshmallow for fifteen minutes. They can eat the marshmallow ______________________
if they want to. But if they wait for the full fifteen minutes, they will be given ______________________
that marshmallow and also another one. ______________________
Studying the causes of our impulsiveness at close range can be very ______________________
beneficial. Those causes seem to fall into two main categories. One is the desire ______________________
for gratification, or some sort of immediate pleasure. The other is the opposite, ______________________
a desire to avoid some immediate pain. ______________________
These two temptations, gratification and fear, are different and opposite. Yet ______________________
they are rooted in the same source: our mortal minds and bodies. On the one ______________________
hand, we have biological cravings for pleasures such as marshmallows and the ______________________
approval of our peers. The Prodigal Son impulsively fell prey to these cravings. ______________________
But we are also biologically programmed to fear and avoid pain. When this fear
of pain is triggered, a fight-or-flight impulse grips us. Fearing to displease his ______________________
Lord by failing to increase his talent, the recipient of the single talent buried it, ______________________
effectively “flying” from the danger he perceived. ______________________

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 Chapter 3: Harnessed Impulses

Notes Stand Still, Be Still

_______________________
_______________________ In difficult leadership situations with contrary voices calling for immediate
action, just standing there is often the right first decision. Standing still and
_______________________ being still are hard tasks for everyone, but especially for leaders. When people
_______________________ are counting on us, we naturally want to act as quickly as possible. That’s true
_______________________ even when our motives are entirely unselfish, when we’re personally seeking
_______________________ neither gratification nor pain avoidance. Even if we have the strength to be
patient ourselves, our hearts go out to those we lead. We’re reluctant to keep
_______________________ them waiting in uncertain and perhaps painful circumstances.
_______________________
_______________________ It should help us to remember that Heavenly Father feels the same way,
_______________________ though immeasurably more intensely. Yet, as the scriptures and the history of
the Church make clear, He sometimes challenges His saints to stand still and be
_______________________ still under the most painful conditions, even as they are laying down their lives.
_______________________ He can do this because He sees the end from the beginning. He knows that all
______________________ suffering and disappointment is accounted for through the Savior’s sacrifice and
_______________________ the Plan of Salvation.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
Suffering can draw us closer to Heavenly Father if we allow it to, but a
_______________________ large percentage of Heavenly Father’s children see the suffering in the world
_______________________ and conclude that a benevolent god would not allow it. Lacking an eternal
_______________________ perspective and an appreciation of the Savior’s infinite Atonement, they see
_______________________ the apparent unfairness of the world and refuse to have faith in a greater plan
of happiness that can make things right. Thus, Heavenly Father’s patience as a
_______________________ leader ironically causes many of His children to deny His leadership and even
His existence.
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 Chapter 3: Harnessed Impulses

The Direction of the Spirit Notes

_______________________
There is only one requirement for effective leadership: following the _______________________
direction of the Spirit. Age and experience tend to increase our patience and
decrease our impulsivity, making us more susceptible to the Spirit. _______________________
______________________
But you can choose to be meek now, before life’s mistakes and hardships ______________________
naturally engender meekness in you. Moses succeeded as a leader because he ______________________
faithfully followed the Lord’s commands as though he were a little child. He
overcame the natural man he had become in Pharaoh’s court. He recovered the ______________________
meekness of childhood that King Benjamin preached in the Book of Mormon: _______________________
_______________________
“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of _______________________
Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings
of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint _______________________
through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, _______________________
submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all _______________________
things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth _______________________
submit to his father.”
_______________________
Yet in the end it is through the Spirit that we qualify for guidance. What the _______________________
Lord told Oliver before he tried to translate remains a possibility for us all, no _______________________
matter how young we may be: _______________________
“Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy ______________________
Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. ______________________
Now behold, this is the spirit of revelation; behold, this is the spirit ______________________
by which Moses led the children of Israel through the Red Sea on dry ______________________
ground.”
______________________
______________________
Reflection ______________________
Identify one life event from your past where you failed to harness your ______________________
impulses. What were the negative consequences of your actions? Then rewrite ______________________
the event as if you were living it over again. What would you change? What are ______________________
the positive outcomes from harnessing your impulses? How will you use what ______________________
you have learned to inform your choices in the future?
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________

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 Chapter 3: Harnessed Impulses

Notes
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
______________________
_______________________ Case Study: Family Estate Battle
_______________________
_______________________ Emily Morris, a recent graduate of BYU-Idaho, hung up the phone with a
mixed feeling of grief and outrage. She’d spent the past hour being lectured by
_______________________ her older brother, Tom. The Morris family was in crisis, and Tom—along with
_______________________ their brother Steve and sister Sally—were making Emily feel as though she was
_______________________ to blame.
_______________________
Emily’s father had been gone for just two weeks. After a civil funeral, the
_______________________ battle between her siblings had returned more focused and uglier than ever. It
_______________________ was all about her parents’ estate. Her father was a self-made multi-millionaire,
_______________________ but he hadn’t cared about the money—for him it was about making a better life
_______________________ for his children. Emily’s mother had felt exactly the same way. But now they
were both gone, and the scramble for the estate was officially on.
_______________________
_______________________ Tom, the eldest, felt that he deserved more than what Dad’s will left him,
_______________________ given that he had spent his entire career in the family business. Steve, who had
_______________________ a gift for art and never wanted to work in the business, had nevertheless been
looking forward to receiving his share of the estate. As a high school art teacher
_______________________ he had never made a lot of money. And, like Tom, he had children he wanted
_______________________ to help in establishing their own careers and homes, including some who were
_______________________ struggling.
_______________________
Emily was truly worried about her sister, Sally. She had been unable to marry
_______________________ and was in poor health. If anyone really needed money from the estate, it was
_______________________ Sally. On top of that, Sally had cared selflessly for both Dad and Mom in their
_______________________ final years. Tom could rightly claim to have created more of the estate’s value
_______________________ through his lifetime of work in the company. But Sally had also given her all
to their parents, without the salary Tom was paid. And her financial needs were
arguably greatest.
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 Chapter 3: Harnessed Impulses

Notes
However, several months ago, the lawyer had informed each of the children
_______________________
that they shouldn’t have set expectations going into the reading of the will,
which had been revised at some point by their father. Rather than the expected _______________________
even division of the estate between the Church and the children, with each child _______________________
receiving an equal share of that 50 percent, it would be something else. ______________________
______________________
Since that news broke, there hadn’t been a moment’s peace in the family,
with the exception of the week of the funeral. Tom immediately engaged a ______________________
lawyer of his own, as did Sally, and both began to lobby for the support of ______________________
Emily and Steve. Steve quickly sided with Tom. _______________________
_______________________
Emily disliked her siblings’ attempts to “buy” her support, even more the
threats of her brother Tom. He threatened to sue anyone found to have coerced _______________________
Dad into revising his will. Still, Emily remained undecided in the battle.Sally _______________________
also retained a lawyer. And, like Tom and Steve, she began trying to win Emily _______________________
to her side.
_______________________
The one thing that all three of her siblings had in common, other than _______________________
apparent self-interest, were desires to have Emily decide right then, before the _______________________
reading of the will, which was scheduled for next week. They were calling daily _______________________
to badger her. Delay, they argued, would do irreparable damage. It seemed that,
_______________________
for the sake of the family, she had to make a decision soon.
_______________________
______________________
______________________
Challenge ______________________
Use the I-PLAN format to develop a list of options for Emily to use while
______________________
dealing with challenges she faces with her siblings. Then decide what Emily ______________________
should do and how she should do it. Practice narrating the challenging ______________________
conversations, and revise your analysis and action plan based on what you ______________________
learn.
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________

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 Chapter 3: Harnessed Impulses

Notes Reflection Activity

_______________________
_______________________
Instructions
_______________________
_______________________ Now that you have read and reflected on this week’s essay and applied those
_______________________ principles to the case studies, it is time to reflect apply the principles you are
_______________________ learning to your personal life.
_______________________
Paragraph 1: Identify one life event from your past where you failed to live
_______________________ life according to the principle in this lesson’s essay.
_______________________ • Identify at least two negative consequences that flowed from this event
_______________________ as a result of not living according to true principles.
_______________________ • Rewrite the negative experience as if you were living it over again using
the principle you learned for the week coupled with addition principles
_______________________ taught in previous lessons.
______________________ • Find What are the positive changes that occurred?
_______________________ • How did the event likely change as you manage the situation according
_______________________ to true principles?
Paragraph 2: Identify a second life event from your past where you failed to
_______________________ live life according to the principle in this lesson’s essay.
_______________________ • Identify at least two negative consequences that flowed from this event
_______________________ as a result of not living according to true principles.
_______________________ • Rewrite the negative experience as if you were living it over again using
the principle you learned for the week coupled with addition principles
_______________________ taught in previous lessons.
_______________________ • What are the positive changes that occurred?
_______________________ • How did the event likely change as you manage the situation according
_______________________ to true principles?

_______________________ Reflection: What impulses do you have that you have failed to harness?
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ Additional Readings
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ • Melecio Vir. V. Emata. “Self-Control: The Kingly
_______________________ Virtue,” Liahona, July 1978.
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________

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 Chapter 3: Harnessed Impulses

Notes
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 Appendix: References

Addiction Recovery Program: A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing. Salt Lake City, UT: Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2005. Print.

Anna. “Old postcards and a magnifying glass.” September 2007, digital photograph. Wikimedia Commons.
Accessed 23 June 2017.

Anderson, Harry. “Calling of the Fishermen (Christ Calling Peter and Andrew).” LDS.org. Web. Acessed 23
June 2017.

Hofmann, Heinrich. “Christ in Gethsemane.” 1886. Brigham Young University of Art. Wikimedia Commons.
Web. Accessed 29 June 2017.

Ferrell, James L. The Peacegiver: How Christ Offers to Heal Our Hearts and Homes. Salt Lake City, UT:
Deseret Book, 2012. Print.

Klatt, Edward C., and Carolyn A. Klatt. “How Much Is Too Much Reading for Medical Students? Assigned
Reading and Reading Rates at One Medical School.” Academic Medicine. 86.9 (2011): 1079-083. Web.
Accessed 23 June 2017.

Makany, Tamas, et al. “Optimising the Use of Note-Taking as an External Cognitive Aid for Increasing
Learning.” British Journal of Educational Technology, vol. 40, no. 4, July 2009, pp. 619-635.
EBSCOhost, doi:10.1111/j.1467-8535.2008.00906.x.

Missionary Preparation Student Manual: Religion 130. Salt Lake City, Utah: The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints, 2005. Print.

Nahavandi, Afsaneh. The Art and Science of Leadership. Boston: Pearson, 2015. Print.

Pixabay. “Man and woman arguing.” July 2017, digital photograph. Pixabay Images. Web. Accessed 23 June
2017.

Preach My Gospel. Salt Lake City, UT: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2004. Print.

Teaching guidebook. Salt Lake City, UT: Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 2001. Print.

Ter Haar, Kate. “Marshmallows.” September 2010, digital photograph. Flickr. Web. Accessed 23 June 2017.

Untersberger, Josef. “Christ went alone to pray, on Mount Olivet.” November 2011, digital photograph. Flickr.
Web. Accessed 23 June 2017.

Willingham, Daniel T. “For the love of reading: engaging students in a lifelong pursuit.” American Educator,
vol. 39, no. 1, 2015, p. 4+. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. Web. Accessed 23 June 2017.

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