FILIPINO CULTURE ON MARRIAGE AND HOW IT AFFECTS

FILIPINO COUPLES AND THE IDEA OF

LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIPS

A Research presented to the Faculty of

De La Salle University - Dasmariñas

In partial fulfillment of the requirements for

Understanding Society, Culture and Politics

Submitted by:

Alexandra Justine A. Book

Shenelle Audrey P. Javier

HUMSS 11
INTRODUCTION

According to Aguiling (2004), Marriage as defined in the family code, partakes

dual character: first as a private covenant between two individuals committed to

making a life together, and second as institutions which serves a vital societal purpose.

Also, Marriage is defined that it is the process by which two people make their

relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that

putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. Over the

course of a relationship that can last as many as seven or eight decades, a lot

happens. Personalities change, bodies age, and romantic love waxes and wanes.

Filipino marriage still remains a very strong commitment. Though, not all

Filipinos have the privilege to get married, or they don’t see it as a necessity for them

as a couple. For over the past dozen years, the number of registered marriages has

fallen to 30% according to the Philippine Statistics Authority. The lack of a divorce law,

the high cost of getting married and the growing acceptance of live-in arrangements

and same-sex unions were some of the factors cited behind the 30-percent dive in the

country’s marriage rates in the last 12 years (Moral, 2017).

According to Jose A. Vancio, a modernizing trend is observed in Filipino cultural

patterns regarding the manner of choosing a spouse and arranging a marriage.

Traditionally, the Filipino approach to marriage is one of a family alliance. The opinions

of parents, relatives and their choices usually carry much weight. The trend today

however, which is very evident in an urban context, is that the couples are able to

exercise their choice more independently from parental influence. In the present
sample, 70 percent of the women and 67 percent of the men made an independent

choice of their spouse. The age of the respondents at the time of marriage emerged

as a positive factor associated with independence of choice. Freedom of choice from

parents' influence was directly associated with higher ages at time of marriage.

Parental influence of mate choice was not only more frequently present among the

males, but also with those married at a younger age.

Cohabitation, as said by the Oxford Dictionary, it is when people live together

and have a sexual relationship without being married. Also, it is defined as a living

arrangement in which an unmarried couple lives together in a long-term relationship

that resembles a marriage.

Couples cohabit, rather than marry, for a variety of reasons. They may want to

test their compatibility before they commit to a legal union. They may want to maintain

their single status for financial reasons. In some cases, such as those involving gay

or lesbian couples, or individuals already married to another person, the law does not

allow them to marry. In other cases, the partners may feel that marriage is

unnecessary. (Legal Free Dictionary, n.d)

According to Kuang, Perelli-Harris, and Padmads (n.d), as cohabitation

emerges as accepted family form, its continued uptake over time may reflect different

context dependent social, economic or cultural forces. For example, individuals of

different educational backgrounds may have different reasons for opting into or out of

cohabitation, which reflects the context specific values, norms, or constraints

encountered by different strata of society. Examining how education relates to

cohabitation can shed preliminary insight on why and among whom this practice grows

over time.

Based on the National Demographic and Health Survey, 53 percent of women

ages 15 to 49 were formally married and six percent were cohabiting in 1998. A decade

later, these figures decreased to 51 percent and increased to 11 percent, respectively.

These changes occur in the midst of a still dominantly Catholic country.

So mainly the problems are;

1. What is marriage?

2. What is cohabitation?

3. What are the effects of the Filipino culture of marriage to lived in couples?

4. What are the reasons why some Filipinos are lived in?

5. According to the gathered data which is a better choice for Filipino couples?
METHODOLOGY

The researchers mainly used the qualitative approach for this study. This

method is composed of interviews, recording and analyzing data from different

sources.

The researchers gathered data from books found in the library. But, it doesn’t

limit to physical copies only, the researchers also searched for data from online books,

articles, and researches related to the study. The researchers interviewed Filipino

cohabiting couples first handedly to get data from the subject’s experience.

The researchers also asked information from the elderly people, and sought

data from books and online resources on how the Filipinos see marriage comparing

to the lived-in partners throughout the time on how they see the effect of it in the

society.

The researchers also gathered information from the family of the lived-in

partners, on what effects they see on it. Also the researchers gathered the information

from the family of the married couples.

 RESULTS/DISCUSSION

The results of the study are gathered from books and thesis regarding

Cohabitation, which is the focus of the study. Moreover, there are some parts that

required the researchers to get data from the married and cohabiting couples

themselves.

I. What is marriage?

Marriage is by nature a multifaceted institution. Olson and DeFrain (1994)

defined marriage as the emotional and legal commitment of two people to share

emotional and physical intimacy, various tasks, and economic resources. The

following nine characteristics of marriage were defined by Broderick (1984);

1. Marriage is a demographic event. Each marriage creates a social unit in

society.

2. Marriage is joining two family and social networks. When individuals marry, they

marry not only each other but their partner’s family and friends. Friends of both

partners may be affected; only those friends liked by both partners tend to

remain as friends of the couple.

3. Marriage is legal contract between the couple and the state. Each state

specifies the rights and responsibilities of the partners.

4. Marriage is an economic union. A married couple usually becomes a single

financial unit for most purposes. As a group, married couples are probably

society’s most important financial decision makers - buying, selling, borrowing,

and sharing resources as one.

 5. Marriage is the most common living arrangement for adults.

6. Marriage is the context of most human sexual activity. Most couples rate this

aspect of their marriage positively, especially in the early years.

7. Marriage is a reproduction unit. Most married couples become parents and see

parenting as an important goal and value in their lives.

8. Marriage is aunt that socializes children.

9. Marriage is an opportunity to develop an intimate, sharing relationship.

Although many marriages fail, many other provide a supportive context in which

people develop and maintain intimacy.

Under Article 1 of the Family Code of the Philippines, Marriage is also defined

as “a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into

in accordance with the law for the establishment of conjugal and family life. It is the

foundation of the family and an inviolable social institution whose nature,

consequences, and incidents are governed by law and not subject to stipulation,

except that marriage settlements may fix the property relations during the marriage

within the limits provided by this Code.”

According to Olson and DeFrain (1994), couples can give many positive

reasons for marrying, but they often have difficulty in identifying reasons not to marry.

Olson and DeFrain (1994) listed some good reasons to marry;

1. Companionship.

Sharing one’s life with someone is common reason for marriage.

Companionship provides someone whom to share the journey of life.

 2. Love and Intimacy

The need for love and intimacy is related to companionship.

3. Supportive Partnership

Another good reason for marriage is the opportunity it provides for

growth as a human being and for nurturing the growth of one’s partner.

4. Sexual Partnership

Marriage has long been seen as a stable source of sexual satisfaction

for both partners, although this view was declined in the 1970s and

1980s following the “sexual revolution”.

5. Sharing Parenthood

Another traditional reason for marriage is to have children, but

parenthood can be a mixed blessing.

Data on marriages presented in this release were obtained from the Certificates

of Marriage (Municipal Form No. 97) that were registered at the Office of the

City/Municipal Civil Registrars all throughout the country and forwarded to the

Philippine Statistics Authority. Information presented include registered marriages

which occurred from January to December 2015. Figures presented are not adjusted

for under-registration. Marriages of Filipinos abroad which were reported to the

Philippine Foreign Service Posts are presented in a separate report.

The number of registered marriages showed an erratic trend for the past 10

years. The most notable change occurred in 2013 which recorded a decrease of 8.2

percent from 482,399 in 2012 to 442,603. It is also interesting to note that from that
year up to 2015, the number of marriages declined continuously. Registered marriages

declined by 2.9 percent in 2014 and 3.6 percent in 2015. (See Figure 1)

In a span of 10 years, the reported marriages decreased by 20.1 percent from

2005 to 2015.

Figure 1

II. What is cohabitation?

According to legal dictionary, couple cohabit rather than marry, for a variety of

reasons. They may want to test their compatibility before they commit to a legal union.

They may want to maintain their single status for financial reasons. In some cases,

such as those involving gay or lesbian couples, or individuals already married to

another person, the law does not allow them to marry. In other cases, the partners

may feel that marriage is unnecessary.

 Williams, Kabamalan and Ogena (2007) examined data from a national survey

of 15 – 27 year olds in the Philippines to assess attitudes toward marriage and

cohabitation, and they also analyzed the marital and nonmarital union experiences of

25 – 27 year olds. They find that attitudes toward cohabitation remain quite

conservative among young Filipinos, although men view cohabitation more favorably

than do women. They also find that men’s socioeconomic status affects their ability to

enter unions, particularly marriage, whereas women’s union formation patterns are

influenced by the family in which they grew up, their participation in religious services,

and to some degree by their place of residence. Both men and women who hold more

liberal attitudes on a range of issues are more likely to have cohabited than are

individuals who do not share those views. For now, however, Williams, Kabamalan

and Ogena (2007) do not expect cohabitation to become a widespread substitute for

marriage in the Philippines.

Kabamalan and Omega (2007) says that ‘In the face of unforeseen events, like

the occurrence of pregnancy outside of marriage, marriage remains an ideal while

more practical considerations gain prominence. For some young people, they are

willing to wait when the ‘time is right” while for others cohabitation becomes a rational

choice.’

III. What are the reasons why some Filipinos are lived in?

According to Cabides (2010), here are reasons why Filipinos cohabit:

1. FinancialReason

“Kakulangan sa pera.Kaya naging live-in ang pagsasama. Naniniwala sya sa

 kasala kaya lang pera lang talaga ang kulang.” The responses seem to show

that marriage especially a church wedding is what most of the women are

dreaming to happen in their lives. Even if it is not possible, civil marriage in

courts could be a sign of fulfillment for this dream. “Oo naman syempre, kahit

sinong babae pinangarap ang makasal kahit hindi sa simbahan kahit sa

huwes lang”. However there is one barrier that prevents them from realizing

this dream, money.

2. Unplanned pregnancy/ child-bearing “Biglaang desisyon, buntis na kasi asawa

ko eh, dagdag pa yong edad mga bata pa kasi

kami.”

This statement seems to show that the couple decide to cohabit just after the

child was born. It could be deduced that they decide to cohabit is because of

the child. As a matter of fact, Graefe and Lichier (1999) mentioned in their study

that cohabiting couples are encourage to find ways to secure the economic well

being of the children. This again increase of possibility that the quality of the

bond between them will get stronger

3. Married at first

“Gusto ko talaga magpakasal kami ng asawa ko ko ngayon kaya lang kasi

kasal ako sa una. Pero alam ko okay naman kung walang

maghahabol.”

Such a response indicates that the respondent wants to get married but she

needs to postpone it. She is distressed by the possibility that they marry her

partner’s former wife might come to sue them. According to Clarkberg (1995)

stated in their study where those in post divorce cohabitation are expected to
 show behavior that are non-traditional. Most likely they would exhibit attitude or

value that manifest low skills in relationship and commitment.

4. “Mga bata pa kami.” (Underage)

According to Teachman (2003), cohabitors especially adolescents tend to be

individualistic which directly affect their commitment to the relationships.

However the response affirm the finding of Yabiku and Gager (2009), who said

that although cohabitation is based on its extrinsic rewards the relationship

gradually developed into deeper intimacy as the couple learn to find way to

maintain the relationship out of commitment and shared goals as a family.

Mynarska & Bernardi (2007) in their analysis of meanings and attitudes attached to

cohabitation in Poland said that while “cohabitation was interpreted as a testing period

leading to marriage, attitude towards it are still very ambiguous” (p. 519) with the key

issue of “commitment” differentiating the two. The study of Korteweg (2001) examining

the meanings of marital union in the Netherlands found similar results which tells the

belief that marriage is an ideal relationship.

IV. What are the effects of the Filipino culture of marriage to lived in couples?

The researchers have interviewed cohabitants regarding the topic. Most of

them answered with a “Jinu-judge po kami ng mga tao.” and “‘Di namin nararanasan

ang mga benefits ng kasal”. Also, the respondents said that cohabitation still can’t beat

marriage. Many women in cohabiting couples say that they are insecure and feel that

they are not loved because they are not married. They also felt that their relationship

is temporary, and the risk of breaking up is high. Though, because of some reasons
(like financial problems, the partner is still married to another, unplanned pregnancy),

these couples can’t tie the knot.

V. According to the gathered data which is a better choice for Filipino couples?

The researchers gathered data to make a comparison between the legal and

emotional benefits of both married and cohabiting couples.

Marriage wins over living together in terms of relationship costs and benefits.

The permanence of marriage encourage emotional investment by partners; thus

increasing security in their union. Cohabitants have a higher likelihood of engaging in

infidelity compared to a married couple since they view their sexual relationships as

temporary. Living together also affects the emotional development of children because

of the high risks of divorce according to Manning (2015). She explains, “Only one out

of three children born to cohabiting parents remains in a stable family through age 12,

in contrast to nearly three out of four children born to married parents.” During break-

up children pay economic and emotional price, and sometimes there is a high chance

of child abuse, when children live without both parents. Similarly, married women are

less likely than cohabiting women to suffer sexual and physical abuse. In terms of

financial management, married couples are better off than cohabiting partners.

Married couples utilize budgets and spending plans to monitor the use of finances.

Furthermore, in terms of the law, a cohabitant cannot be considered as a

compulsory heir of the other. Also, cohabiting couples cannot avail the privileges

provided in Rule I30, Sections 20(b) and 2I(a) of the Revised Rules of Court. A

cohabitant has no right to intervene in the probate proceedings of the deceased unless
she is named as an heir of the deceased. Therefore, cohabitants are deprived of rights

and privileges given to those who are validly married.

To sum it all up, Marriage is still a better choice for Filipinos for it has more

benefits and advantages than cohabitation.

CONCLUSION

Majority of the respondents expressed willingness to get married. This could

mean that marriage is still valued as a significant institution of family formation. They

want to get married not only for the children but for a lasting relationship that marriage

could offer and contract marriage legally not only because it will make their relationship

but of the iblessing they will receive from the church.

Marriage among couples is already set as a norm by the society. Due to this,

marriage truly affects live in couples. Cohabitants are often looked down upon by their

families and the community; asking why are they not settling for marriage, why did

they have a relationship with a married partner, and nagging that marriage is better

than simply living in. Also, in some cases, partners felt insecure about their relationship

often asking to themselves why aren’t they marrying if they truly love each other?

In a nutshell, marriage has a great effect to cohabiting couples for marriage

benefits husband, wife and their children more than cohabitation. Cohabitation

provides less of the benefits and rewards that are available in a committed and strong

marriage. When individuals are married rather than cohabiting, they are better off to

gain personal wealth, physical health, and emotional health. Cohabitation is becoming

more popular among the young adults; though, it has numerous costs than benefits.

Cohabitation does not guarantee happiness and stability that is purported in an

intimate relationship.
RECOMMENDATIONS

The study has found effects of the culture of marriage to cohabitants. But, the

respondent’s responses are not enough, and it doesn’t cover a lot. We, the

researchers recommend to interview more respondents regarding the topic to gather

more data.

Moreover, we also recommend further study, like a deeper comparison

between marriage and cohabitation, and the effect of cohabitation to the youth. Lastly,

we are recommending that the government will somehow consider on giving legal

benefits to cohabiting couples.

REFERENCES

Aguiling, E. (2014) Marriage and Unmarried Cohabitation: The Rights of Husbands,

Wives, and Lovers, University of the Philippines, College of Law, 2014

Kuang, B., Perelli-Harris, B., Sabu, P. (nd.) The Unexpected Rise of Cohabitation in

the Philippines: Evidence for a Negative Educational Gradient

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SHINE?

Retrieved from: Philippine Daily Inquirer https://www.pressreader.com/philippines/philippine-

daily-inquirer/20170212/281496456032500

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/cohabit

https://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/

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Philippines: Attitudes and Behaviors Among Young Men and Women. Journal of

marriage and family, 69, 1244-1253

Vancio, J. (1980) The Realities of Marriage Urban Filipino Women. Philippine Studies

vol. 28, no. 1 (1980) 5–20

Atty. Lifrendo Gonzales (n.d) Marriage and its Validity in the Philippines

Retrieved from: https://www.hg.org/article.asp?id=28688

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https://psa.gov.ph/content/philippine-marriages-2015

Nilo D. Cabides (2010), A Phenomenological Study of Cohabiting Couples in

Dasmariñas Bagong Bayan, Area C (DBB-C), Cavite

Dr. Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Why Marriage Matters: Twenty-Six Conclusions from

the Social Sciences.

Manning, W. D., Smock, P. J., & Majumdar, D. (2004). The relative stability of

cohabiting and marital unions for children. Population Research and Policy Review,

23, 135-159.