Module 2

Tour Eng 2 Planning

Tourism and
Hospitality Mgt
Messages
 Basics of business writing in
tourism and hospitality
 THM Business messages are different
from college essays, term papers, and
messages to friends.
 Conciseness and clarity count.
The best THM business writing is

 Purposeful
 Persuasive
 Economical
 Audience-oriented

Following a process can make you

a better writer or speaker.
The Writing Process
 Approximately how much time
should be spent at each stage?

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 5

 Analyzing Your Purpose
and Channel
Identify your purpose.
 Why are you writing?
 What do you hope to achieve?
 Select the best channel.

E-mail Telephone
Fax Voice mail
Letter Meeting
Memo Conversation
Report Web site
 Select the best channel.

 How important is the message?

 How fast do you need feedback?
 Is a permanent record essential?
 What is the cost of the channel?
 How much formality do you desire?
 How confidential or sensitive is the
message?
 Profiling the Audience

Primary Audience
 Who is the primary reader?
 What are my personal and professional
relationships with that person?
 What does the person know about the
subject?
 What kind of response should I expect?
 Profiling the Audience

Secondary Audience
 Who else might see or hear this
message?
 Are they different from the primary
audience?
 How must I reshape the message for
the secondary audience?
Profiling the Audience
 Spotlight
Audience
Benefits

Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience

Adapting to Task and Audience

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 15
 Spotlight Audience Benefits

Focus your statements on the audience,

not the sender.

Instead of this: Try this:

We are promoting a You will enjoy total peace
travel package that we of mind with our
believe has many affordable travel package
outstanding benefits. that meets all your needs.
Adapting Spotlight
Audience
to Task Benefits

and
Audience Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience

Cultivate
A “You”
View

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 17

 Develop a “You” View

Emphasize second-person pronouns

(you/your) instead of first-person pronouns
(I/we, us, our)
Instead of this: Try this:
Before we can allow you to You may begin
book clients on this new booking clients on
account, we must wait two your new account in
weeks to verify your credit. two weeks.
 Develop a “You” View
Revise these sentences: These are better:

We are now offering You can now get your

incentive travel Quick
incentive travel
packages at discounted packages at discounted
prices. Check
prices.
We are pleased to Congratulations! You
announce that you have have been selected to
been approved to claim claim your discounted
your discounted incentive travel package.
incentive travel
package.
 Spotlight
Audience
Benefits

Create a
Message That
Suits Your
Audience
Cultivate
Sound
A “You”
Conversational
View

Adapting to Task and Audience

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 20
 Conversational Language

Instead of this: Try this:

The undersigned takes I’m happy to . . .
pleasure in . . .
It may be of some concern We’ve credited your
to you to learn that your account for P20,000.
check has been received
and your account has been
credited for P20,000.
 Spotlight
Audience
Benefits

Create a
Employ Cultivate
Message That
Positive A “You”
Suits Your
Language View
Audience

Sound
Conversational

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 22

 Positive Language

Instead of this: Try this:

DOT employees may DOT employees may
not use the main use the back entrance
entrance during during remodeling.
remodeling.
We cannot grant your We can grant your
request until we receive request once we receive
a written letter. a written letter.
 State Ideas Positively

Revise these sentences: These are better:

We must withhold Quick
You will be paid
payment until you promptly once the job is
complete the job Check
completed satisfactorily.
satisfactorily.
If you fail to follow each By following each
requirement, you will not requirement, you will
receive your P500 receive your P500
rebate. rebate.
 Levels of Language Use

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Found in
Some comic strips Business Scientific writing,
and songs, some messages, novels, legal documents,
commercials, some most newspapers, scholarly books,
conversations, and most formal essays,
some IM and e-mail magazines proclamations
messages
 Levels of Language Use

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Characterized by
Incorrect grammar, Correct grammar Correct grammar,
unpredictable and punctuation, serious tone,
sentence structure, conversational complex sentence
inappropriate tone, simple structure,
punctuation, slang, sentence structure, polysyllabic words
vulgarisms familiar words
 Levels of Language Use

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Examples
wasted ruined annihilated
nab catch apprehend
bad-mouth criticize disparage
dough, bread money currency
stewed, plastered intoxicated, drunk inebriated
I ain’t I’m not I am not
humongous enormous prodigious
tight frugal penurious
Revise to create reader benefits.

I have 5 different tour You have 5 tour

packages to offer my packages from which to
clients. Quickchoose.

We want all newly hired Check

As a newly hired airport
airport employees to use employee, you won’t
our carpooling program have to drive to work for
for at least three months. the first three months
because you can
carpool.
 Revise the following to sound
conversational.

The undersigned takes I’m happy to welcome

great pleasure in you to our staff.
welcoming you to our
staff.
Per your request, we are As you requested, we
sending under separate are sending your May
cover your May invoice. invoice separately.
 Hidden Messages

Some words and phrases convey a

negative and unpleasant tone. They
may imply a hidden message that the
writer does not intend. Think twice
before using the following negative
expressions.
 Negative Language Hidden Meaning
You overlooked You are careless
You state that But I don’t believe you
You failed to You are careless
You claim that It’s probably untrue
You are wrong I am right
You do not understand You are not smart
Your delay You are at fault
You forgot to You are inefficient, stupid
and careless

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 31

 Spotlight
Audience
Benefits

Use Cultivate
Inclusive A “You”
Create a
Language View
Message That
Suits Your
Audience

Employ
Sound
Positive
Conversational
Language

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 32

 Inclusive Language

Instead of this: Try this:

Have you called a Have you called a service
waiter? staff?
Every executive  All executives have their own
has his own office. offices.
 Every executive has an office.
This alternative is
 All executives have offices.
wordy and calls  Every executive has his or
attention to itself
her own office.
Positive and Inclusive Language

Revise these sentences: These are better:

No tenant may move in Tenants may move in
until May 1. Quick
on May 1.
Because you failed to Check
As soon as we receive
include your credit your credit information,
information, we cannot we can ship your order.
ship your order.
Hanna Fanni is the new Hanna Fanni is the new
African accountant. accountant.
 Spotlight
Audience
Draw on Benefits Cultivate
Familiar A “You”
Words View
Create a
Message That
Adopt Suits Your Sound
Plain Audience Conversational
Language

Use
Use Positive
Inclusive
Language
Language

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 35

 Plain Language

Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated

language.
Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein
addressed is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or
her department representative submit, to the Department of
Tourism official described above, a comment on whether the
proposed plan, in his or her considered view, meets the
requirements of the 20018 law.
Simple Translation: You may wish to comment on whether
the proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2018 law.
 Familiar Words

Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar

words. Use short, simple, and common
words whenever possible.
Less familiar words Simple alternatives
encounter meet
extrapolate project
obligatory required
terminate end
 Spotlight
Choose Audience
Courteous Benefits
Cultivate
Language
A “You”
View

Draw on Create a
Familiar Message That
Words Suits Your Sound
Audience Conversational

Adopt
Plain
Language Use Use Positive
Inclusive Language
Language

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 1, Slide 38

 Courteous Language
Avoid sounding demanding, preachy, or rude.
Instead of this: Try this:
You must submit your Please complete your
tourism research on or tourism research not
before April 6, 2018. later than April 6, 2018.
I am sick and tired of Let me show you how to
being the only one who remove jammed paper
removes jammed paper so that you can
from the copier! complete your copying.
 Revise the following using
simple language
You may encounter You may have difficulty
difficulty in terminating the ending the marketing
marketing destination destination contract.
contract. Quick OR: It may be difficult
to end the marketing
Check destination contract.
As stipulated, we As required, we
extrapolated the tourism projected the tourism
budget figures for two budget figures for two
years. years.
 Revise the following using
simple language
Will you utilize workbooks
during the obligatory
tourism awareness
training period?
We anticipate that a
majority of the alternative
will be sufficiently
fundamental to meet our
customer service
requirements.
Will you use workbooks
during the required
tourism awareness
training period?
We expect that most of
the choices will be
sufficiently basic to
meet our customer
service needs.
 Anticipating
Anticipate how your audience will react
to your message.
 What is your reader or listener like?
 Will your audience be pleased, neutral, or
displeased with
your message?
 Profiling the Audience

Primary Audience
 Who is the primary reader?
 What are my personal and professional
relationships with that person?
 What does the person know
about the subject?
 What kind of response should
I expect?
 Profiling the Audience

Secondary Audience
 Who else might see or hear this
message?
 Are they different from the primary
audience?
 How must I reshape the message
for the secondary audience?
 Adapting

Create a message that will suit your task

and audience.
 Spotlight audience benefits.
 Cultivate the “you” view.
 Sound conversational but
professional.
 Adapting

Create a message that will suit your task

and audience.
 Express yourself positively.
 Choose courteous language.
 Adopt bias-free language.
 Use plain language and
familiar words.
 Something to Reflect about

“Regardless of the changes in

technology, the market for well-crafted
messages will always have an audience.”

--Steve Burnett
The Burnett Group