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A Window Into An Introvert's World - Psychology Today
A Window Into An Introvert's World - Psychology Today
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Recognize your quiet self in a relatable read. Like 249
Jenn Granneman
(http://www.quietrev.com/author/jennifer-
granneman/) is the author of the latest entrant
into the burgeoning field of popular introvert
literature. Her book, The Secret Lives of
Introverts (https://www.amazon.com/Secret-
Lives-Introverts-Inside-Hidden/dp/1510721029),
is autobiographical, relatable, and filled with
strategies to help introverts accept and even
embrace their differences with the mainstream. I
interviewed Granneman to learn more.
JG: The Secret Lives of Introverts is the book I’ve been wanting to write since I founded
IntrovertDear.com (http://IntrovertDear.com) in 2013. It draws on interviews with hundreds of introverts
and the latest research on introversion (https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/introversion). The
book is different because it’s more personal and relatable than other introvert books out there. It offers
explanations of the science behind introversion in easy-to-understand, everyday language. It also
addresses common problems almost all introverts face, such as getting burned out
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/burnout) by socializing and feeling overlooked at work.
Reading the book, introverts will say, “Hey, that’s me!”
NA: What have you learned about the science of introversion, including how introverts process
stimuli differently from extroverts (https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/extroversion)?
JG: Introverts are wired differently than extroverts. That explains why an introvert will want to go home
after an hour or two of socializing, while an extrovert is more inclined to party all night. According to the
experts I spoke with, introverts have a less active dopamine
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/dopamine) reward system than extroverts. This simply
means that introverts care less than extroverts about certain rewards (you can find a more thorough
explanation in my book). Introverts are just not as motivated and energized by, say, shaking hands with
strangers or building huge social circles. In fact, the very things that energize extroverts can be
downright draining for introverts.
In my book, I provide six questions that introverts can ask themselves to help them find their calling.
One questions is, “What message do you want to share with the world?” In other words, if you could
rent a billboard in Times Square for just one day, what would you put on it? Another question is, “What
kinds of tasks don’t feel like work to you?” Some tasks are a cakewalk to complete, and you get
compliments on them; build your calling around these energizing tasks.
NA: What is the most surprising misconception you’ve discovered about introverts in the
workplace (https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/career)?
JG: Introverts are – wrongly – undervalued as employees. Initially, bosses may favor extroverts for
their confident (https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/confidence), smooth-talking ways. However,
as I explain in my book, research shows that the perceived value of extroverts’ work and their
reputation actually decline over time. In other words, we expect a lot from extroverts, but they are not
always able to deliver. Introverts, on the other hand, especially those who are conscientious
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/conscientiousness) and concerned about what others think
of them, may make better employees in the long-run. I believe this is true because introverts tend to
come to work, to, well, work, rather than chat and make friends. Introverts also want their work to
speak for itself, so they tend to put a lot of time and effort into what they’re producing.
NA: What challenges have you had speaking up at meetings? What tips do you give other
introverts to help them with that?
JG: I’ve had many jobs that required frequent attendance at meetings. Often, even when I was
mentally poking holes in my colleagues’ plans, I wouldn't speak up. Having all those eyes turned
toward me, watching me speak, was overstimulating. Today, I still hate speaking up in groups or
meetings, but I have learned a few tricks. First, instead of focusing on how you sound, focus on what
you’re saying. It won’t matter if you “um” or “ah” or don’t use a chipper tone of voice if the content of
your message is valuable. Also, push yourself to be one of the first people to speak up.
Psychologically, this will make you feel more a part of the meeting, and people will tend to direct follow
up questions to you.
JG: The Secret Lives of Introverts is primarily for introverts, but I haven’t left out extroverts — I
offer tips for them on how to live with, work with, and love
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/relationships) the introverts in their lives.