Eliminating Wordiness and Clarifying Writing
Revise the following passages, avoiding wordiness and undesirable repetition. You can type
the answers on a separate page using your computer or handwriting
Dear Scott Smith:
the Moss account, ytich-welvahadimoaesompanyfacaneminpars, has
been moved to the London branch. This is effective immediately amdabonge. Fitstrumetothe
more employees than we do. sRemona-
cmaployaesenoaasablatitiney 83h handle the Moss account better Ahibnsbeadae MealeGaLave
Sincerely,
Henry Vidalia
Mr Rick Castle
‘Acme Publishing
Dear Mr. Castle:
~ASyomeequastedsoumdepartment, the Department of Customer Satisfaction, has completed
your request tenok:intewhy-soniemmadansdilemioreadmunienmystenies. We litte discovered
that a large number of people enjoy reading murder mysteries SigaimaacWesewefounchtinat!
87% report that shajenjoy.reading-mundesmysteriosbeuanseiabthismeasan: they have found a
way to escape from thamanatanausalRasiiemensbiaeatent! everyday existence.
—SematesINPOGPIe the murder mystery is realistic fantasy -HeBARCalistic because
tauzder.mmystempzare-asergenera/sule believable as people. They are not just made up
pasteboard figures, or not silly stereotypes. It is also realistic because the character who is the
hero, the character who solves the murder mystery, solves it not usually by trial and error and
haphazard methods but by exercising a high degree of logic and reason. Itis absolutely and
totally essential that people who enjoy murder mysteries have an admiration for the human
faculty of lo
Ey
We think that one way for the Acme Publishers to gain more readers is to think about this idea
carefully. You should strive to publish works that meet this degree of “realistic fantasy” and
believability.
Best,
Veronica Mars
‘Some passages taken fom the OWL. Purdue website
)