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Eliminating Wordiness and Clarifying Writing Revise the following passages, avoiding wordiness and undesirable repetition. You can type the answers on a separate page using your computer or handwriting Dear Scott Smith: the Moss account, ytich-welvahadimoaesompanyfacaneminpars, has been moved to the London branch. This is effective immediately amdabonge. Fitstrumetothe more employees than we do. sRemona- cmaployaesenoaasablatitiney 83h handle the Moss account better Ahibnsbeadae MealeGaLave Sincerely, Henry Vidalia Mr Rick Castle ‘Acme Publishing Dear Mr. Castle: ~ASyomeequastedsoumdepartment, the Department of Customer Satisfaction, has completed your request tenok:intewhy-soniemmadansdilemioreadmunienmystenies. We litte discovered that a large number of people enjoy reading murder mysteries SigaimaacWesewefounchtinat! 87% report that shajenjoy.reading-mundesmysteriosbeuanseiabthismeasan: they have found a way to escape from thamanatanausalRasiiemensbiaeatent! everyday existence. —SematesINPOGPIe the murder mystery is realistic fantasy -HeBARCalistic because tauzder.mmystempzare-asergenera/sule believable as people. They are not just made up pasteboard figures, or not silly stereotypes. It is also realistic because the character who is the hero, the character who solves the murder mystery, solves it not usually by trial and error and haphazard methods but by exercising a high degree of logic and reason. Itis absolutely and totally essential that people who enjoy murder mysteries have an admiration for the human faculty of lo Ey We think that one way for the Acme Publishers to gain more readers is to think about this idea carefully. You should strive to publish works that meet this degree of “realistic fantasy” and believability. Best, Veronica Mars ‘Some passages taken fom the OWL. Purdue website )

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