Focus

Student #1
Focus Student #1: This
writing sample comes
from the end of the
semester after we have
worked on creating
meaningful writing with
clear direction. Focus
Student #1 has clearly
expanded his ability to
show depth, cite specific
details, and make real
world connections. He
does present room for
improvement in his ability
to break up his run-on
sentences. While
grammar and syntax is
importance, it is still very
evident that Focus
Student #1 has grown in
his ability to analyze and
interpret historical
information. With a bit
more academic language
and grammatical fixes,
Focus Student #1 can
improve his writing to be
exemplar.

Focus Student #2
Focus Student #2: Focus
Student #2 is an
intermediate English
Learner who is working
on improving her use of
vocabulary, examples,
and commentary. In this
example that the student
wrote at the end of the
year, the student shows
improvement in their
ability to use examples,
apply it to real world
concepts, and apply
essential vocabulary. The
student even presents a
counter argument to
illustrate she has
developed more
confidence in her writing,

This is a major

improvement for her. We

just need to work on

grammar and sentence

structure to make it an

exemplar.



Focus Student #3
Focus Student #3: Since
the beginning of the year,
Focus Student #3 has
been working on her
writing structure and
explanation of ideas. In
this response, the student
uses complete sentences
and cites specific
examples and details.
There is a clear
grammatical structure
and very few errors or
run-ons. The only space
where Focus Student #3
can improve is by further
expounding or explaining
her commentary and
ideas. She shows
evidence and a clear
understanding of the
events happening in the
1920s. However, she
needs to better explain
how that evidence
illustrates her point.
Otherwise, this is a great
improvement for Focus
Student #3.