Mūsa and Iḥsān with Family with Alima Ashfaq

Mūsa and Iḥsān with Family

By Alima Ashfaq
alima@iamalima.org

The Aim of this workshop

Discuss the lessons we can learn from the life of Prophet Mūsa on iḥsān and family.

The Objectives of this workshop

1. Gain an appreciation of the family of Mūsa (a) and how they played a role in his success as a dā’i.
2. Discuss the importance of meeting the rights of your family, to be able to be the best dā’i in your
community, as a successful dā’i is a successful family member.
3. Discuss the importance good character plays in being a successful son, daughter, sibling, husband
and wife.
4. Discuss the importance that women played in the narrative of Mūsa.

Introduction

Prophet Mūsa (a) is mentioned seventy three times in the Qur’an. He is mentioned in many contexts and
incidents he experienced, but today I want to discuss Prophet Mūsa and the lessons we can learn about
iḥsān and the family.

The story of Mūsa has many diverse examples of men, and women that are related
to family life.
life.
Each example is full of abundant lessons you can derive that will enable you to life with Ihsan with your
family. They nurture empathy, understanding and educate you to be more appreciative of the different
challenges you will fact as you grow as a person and enter different roles.

We have the wife of Mūsa that we don’t hear much of, especially after Prophethood. Profoundly enough,
we learn lessons from Umm Mūsa, but we are unaware of her husband. He is hardly mentioned in the
narrative. The Qur’ān is a book which changes our perspectives. It has men and women who are exceptional
role models from all walks of life. It is not about; men vs. women. It is a book which mentions exceptional
men and women to refine, redefine and revolutionise our worldviews.

Ummi Mūsa – The Devoted Servant of Allāh

She was a spiritually conscious mother who was dedicated to her children. Allāh (ṣ) is instilling empathy
within the reader: He wants you to feel her pain and understand that you are His and He will always protect
you if you put your trust in Him. As a mother who on two occasions almost lost her children, not to the
Mūsa and Iḥsān with Family with Alima Ashfaq

soldiers of Pharaoh, but to illnesses I can empathise with the mother of Mūsa. You may never think you will
be in her position, but Allāh is equipping with the spiritual tools to have iḥsan within your trial.

Lessons from Umm Musa

1. In order to have righteous children you need to be spiritually conscious parents. This begins when
you’re young, as this is the age to cultivate taqwa that will become stronger as you mature and
become your fortress that will enable you to live a life of iḥsān.

2. Even in your most difficult challenges: never give up hope and understand: Allāh has a plan for you,
His is with you and He will give you ease after hardship, just like he returned Mūsa back to his mother.
Allāh (ṣ) said: “And the heart of Moses' mother became empty [of all else]. She was about to disclose
[the matter concerning] him had We not bound fast her heart that she would be of the believers.”
Al-Qasas, 28:10

3. The best place for a child is to be with his loving mother, as we learn from baby Mūsa. Even as a baby
he was able to recognise his mother, as she carried him for nine months. He knows her scent, her
voice, her warmth and he chose her above everyone else, because the love of a mother is
irreplaceable.

4. The importance of the mother and the role she plays in cultivating and nurturing her children.
Fathers, also play a critical role in care-taking, but in this story Allāh (s) specifically focuses on the
mother for several reasons: develop appreciation for the role women play in care-taking and how her
spirituality saved her child from the evil plot of Pharaoh.

5. On the day of Judgement Allāh (s) will not look at your degrees, careers or achievements, He will look
at your sense of awareness: God consciousness and how you fulfilled each role you were given and if
it was done with iḥsan: to the best of your ability.

6. The mother of Mūsa made a sacrifice for Allāh. She put her trust in Allāh and He did not expect her
to be a sacrificial lamb who gives up everything at the expense of herself, rather in His wisdom he
returned her son, and gave her more; an income.

Mūsa – An unemployed single man

When Mūsa (s) ran away from Egypt, he headed for Madyan. Here he experienced unemployment, financial
difficulties and in his frustration and time of weakness he called out to Allāh (ṣ) and made du’a: ‫ِﺇ ِّﻧﻲ ِﻟ َﻤﺎ‬
ٌ ‫ﻲ ِﻣ ْﻦ َﺧﻴ ٍْﺮ ﻓَ ِﻘ‬
‫ﻴﺮ‬ َ ‫ﺃَﻧﺰَ ْﻟ‬
‫ﺖ ِﺇ َﻟ ﱠ‬
"My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need." Al-Qasas, 28:24.

The Daughters of
of Shu’ayb
Mūsa and Iḥsān with Family with Alima Ashfaq

These were working women, who despite being surrounded by men assisted their father in care-taking their
home. They stepped out of their comfort zones, but still maintained themselves, their faith and their
professionalism. Despite the challenges they fulfilled their tasks, and in turn, Allāh (ṣ) provided them with
an aid, Mūsa (a).

Lessons from the daughters of Prophet Shu’ayb

1. One of the purposes of marriage is to care-take your families, but as long as this care-taking is fulfilled
then everything outside of this circle is permissible, and in some cases encouraged.

2. The participation in society is an essential part of a healthy society. This engagement should be
respectful and purposeful: from men and women.

3. These women had the strength and ability to take care of their father, but Mūsa appreciated their
difficulties in fulfilling it with iḥsān, so he aided them, because he was a gentleman. He facilitated
them and enabled them, which they appreciated. These women were not damsels in distress—they
were hardworking women—who appreciated a helping hand and were wise enough to know that
Mūsa would make their lives easier and focus on other goals.

4. They were advisors to their father. Despite being a prophet they counseled him, and he accepted
their counsel. She argued that Mūsa was responsible and dependable,
dependable two characteristics essential
for a happy family.

Āsiyah

Āsiyah was a believing wife and step-mother. She could not have children, but this did not lessen her status
in the sight of Allāh (ṣ) in any way.

Āsiyah was also in an abusive relationship and the importance of mentioning this is that Pharaoh, despite
loving and feeling attracted to her was domestically abusive due to his ego, and cruelty. He had no concept
of iḥsān and this lead to pain being inflicted on a believing woman who deserved so much more than Him.

Lessons from Āsiyah

1. Iḥsān to family is not providing for them monetarily, this is a duty, ihṣān is to treat your family
respectfully and respond in the best way during challenging times, especially as husbands and fathers
who have been given the role of the ‘maintainers’ of the homes.

2. Pharaoh abused his right as a husband and his rights were revoked. Qiwamah is a not a privilege, it is
a responsibility.

3. As you embark upon family life—you will be tested in different ways—understand these are tests to
help you grow spiritually, not defining factors. Different examples are mentioned to cultivate an
Mūsa and Iḥsān with Family with Alima Ashfaq

appreciation that not everyone will have the same opportunities, but this does not mean they are
not worthy, or incomplete.
4. Domestic violence is one of the characteristics of a tyrant, and Allāh (ṣ) says: “For the transgressors,
a place of return (Liṭāghīna ma aba).” Sūrah An-Naba, 78:22. Men have to remember they have been
created as slaves and not masters. They have been created as leaders in their homes, seeking shūrah,
like Prophet Shu’ayb and not tyrants like Pharaoh.

Prophet Shu’ayb – A conscious father

Prophet Shu’ayb fulfilled his role as a wali by seeking a good husband for his daughter and a responsible
employee. He also appreciated his daughter’s opinions of them, and through their advice understood they
would welcome Mūsa as a husband. Mūsa accepted, and as a son-in-law went above and beyond what was
expected of him as an employee. He stayed for ten years, rather than the contracted eight: he aimed for
iḥsān.

Lessons
Lessons from Prophet Shu’ayb

1. Marriage is not only a contract between a husband and wife, but it involves being kind, just and
appreciative of the families of your spouse too.
2. The wali is an essential component of a marriage full of barakah.

Ḥārūn – a supportive brother.

Allāh (ṣ) could have given Mūsa any supporter, but Allāh (ṣ) in His wisdom gave him his own brother.

Conclusion

The family is the cornerstone of a healthy, happy and empowered society. Ibn Al-Mubārak reported:
Muḥammad ibn ‘Ālī Al-Bāqir, may Allāh have mercy on him, said: “Whoever has qualities of character and
kindness has been given all that is good and comforting. His situation will be pleasant in his life and in his
Hereafter. And whoever is deprived of qualities of kindness and character, then it will be a means of every
evil and adversity for him, except for those who are protected by Allāh Almighty.” Ḥilyat al-Awliyā 3/186

Questions

1. When it comes to iḥsān and family; what would iḥsān look like for you if you achieved a ten?

a. Spouse
b. Parents
c. Children

2. What three things can you do to increase iḥsān with your family?