Cortes 1

Commented [OT1]: Make sure to double check the correct

MLA formatting needed for this assignment.
For Example, your header should be in Times New Roman.

I sometimes forget to change the header too, but just a

reminder!

Annotated Bibliography

Animal Testing in Cosmetics

Cristina Cortes

Professor Malcolm Campbell

UWRT 1104

February 28th 2018

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Commented [OT2]: No spacing needed here .

Also missing “Annotated Bibliography” in bold.

Gregory Mone, “New Models in Cosmetics Replacing Animal Testing” April 2014 Commented [OT3]: Is this the full MLA Citation? A correct
citation also needs a hyperlink.

In this article Gregory Mone discusses how new models in cosmetics can eventually

replace animal testing. These new models will be capable of predicting the toxicity of Commented [OT4]: Maybe change to “would be able”?

chemicals in humans without the use of experimentation on animals. Gregory Mone also

explains the vast difference between humans and mice and many of the products tested

on these animals can limit the validity of the results. Tests based off animals take entirely

too long and are more expensive than tests that don’t require the use of animals (In vitro

& In silico). The article explains how even though cosmetics sit on the skin and are not Commented [OT5]: Maybe explain/define these so the
reader fully understands
put through the body like a drug, there are still ways certain products like lotions that

contain lipophilic, can still seep into the skin traveling pass the upper layer and into the

blood stream. To prevent the SEURAT, scientist will eventually make models that Commented [OT6]: What does this stand for/mean?

interweave each of the systems that ingredients can reach. For example, the skin, heart,

lungs, and more. , , Cosmetics Europe, the industry group funding the research, has

protested that “it was too soon to eliminate animal testing as the alternatives were not yet

robust enough”. Even though the model is still in its early stages, scientist have shown

how far it has already gone by showing how the liver would respond when exposed to

certain chemicals. The new model successfully compared the toxic compound with the

laboratory test which shows how precise the new model already is.

Gregory Mone is a Harvard graduate, novelist, science journalist, and speaker. As a

magazine writer he has covered physics, biology, and artificial intelligence. This

academic source explains how new models can replace experimenting on animals. The

purpose of the article is to show companies that still test on animals, how far science has
 Cortes 3

come and the new alternatives that can replace animals is just as reliable and safe. This

source is different because as opposed to only documenting the pros and cons of animal

testing, it explains how advanced science has gone to create systems and models that can

stop animal experimentation all together. The article was very helpful because it showed

not only are we improving technology to higher standards but the level of awareness for Commented [OT7]: I would suggest that you rephrase this
sentence, because it is hard to read.
animal testing has increased significantly over the years. Reading this article has inspired

me to want to perform research to learn more about the technology behind animal testing

and what can be done in the future with these models for cosmetic or medical purposes.

This source will be in my project so I can show the technology side behind the argument. Commented [OT8]: technological

Commented [OT9]: you do not need the double space

here.

Ella Holden, "The True Cost of Beauty? Wilful Ignorance.” 17 February 2018 Mr. Campbell has an example of the correct format for
annotated bibliographies.

I honestly just used it as my framework and put in my own

http://oxfordstudent.com/2018/02/17/true-cost-beauty-wilful-ignorance/ information.
Commented [OT10]: Your MLA sources need to be in
The article “The True Cost of Beauty? Willful Ignorance” offers an insight on the outrage alphabetical order with last name first 

that is circulating around animal testing unlike articles I’ve read before. As I mentioned

before, consumer consciousness over animal testing has dramatically increased, and will

only continue to do so. With a one-hundred percent increase in the number of ‘vegan’

claims in the year of 2017, this is only becoming more and more evident. High-end Commented [OT11]: Quote your source

beauty company NARS announced in the past year that it would be broadening its range
of global cliental to the country of China. Despite the increase in uproar and protests
surrounding the concept of animal testing for produces, NARS ignored this. This is so
Commented [OT12]: I would suggest you provide a brief
introduction to the NARS company and describe what they
do.
This way, when you give information about them, the
reader will have context as to what the company stands for.

significant because in China it’s required as a law that all beauty and skin products be
 Cortes 4

tested on animals, before being used by the population. Other rival companies such as

MAC took the same route despite the commotion they would receive.

This article places an emphasis not only on the ethical standpoint in which these beauty

companies carry themselves, but also to remind you the “true cost of beauty”. After

reading the final paragraph of the album it’s evident that the author wants you to Commented [OT13]: Album?

contemplate what these products are really costing. The author even mentions that fact Commented [OT14]: the

that a company like MAC even started branding themselves as a “Ethical Brand” with the Commented [OT15]: an

company’s foundation being inclusivity. The company MAC also raised approximately

$400 million dollars in the benefit of AIDS. This shows you despite all the great ethical Commented [OT16]: say this part out loud. I think it can be
rephrased with a “that” or “how”
standpoints a beauty company can have, there is still a huge cost in terms of customer

satisfaction and an overall ethical standing, with the testing of products on animals still

being a factor.

The author is a student at the University of Oxford who cites many reliable sources

throughout her article. Oxford is a prestigious university and these papers must be peer

reviewed before being published. This source is surely an Academic one. The purpose of Commented [OT17]: Does it follow the qualifications to be
an academic article?
this article is to inform those that buy products from companies such as NARS and MAC Mr. Campbell has an outline on what qualifies as each of the
required articles we need to have.
about the animal-testing done behind the scenes. The author does a good job at

maintaining an objective point of view. For example, MAC raising over $400 million for

their ‘MAC AIDS Fund’ is highlighted along with the criticism of expanding their brand
into the Chinese market. I thought this resource was helpful because it connected the
actions of the companies directly to the backlash from the consumer, and it did so in a
balanced objective way. I didn’t get the impression that the author was being overly
biased or dogmatic about any specific position.
Commented [OT18]: I really like how you gave an example
here on how they maintained an objective point of view.
This allowed me, as the reader, to not only trust the author
of that article, but to view you as a reliable source.
Commented [OT19]: Will you use this article in your
research?
Commented [OT20]: I feel like there is a more condensed
way that you can state that the author of this article was
objective.
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Commented [OT21]: Please make sure to check your

formatting 

“Should Animals Be Used for Scientific or Commercial Testing?” November 2nd 2017 Commented [OT22]: I keep noticing that your MLA format
is different for each source.

https://animal-testing.procon.org/ I would suggest using either Purdue Owl or even bibme.org

to get the correct formatting

This website talks about the many pros and cons of animal testing, the first argument Commented [OT23]: . The

states how animal testing is cruel and inhumane while the opposite side of the argument

states how animal testing has contributed to many lifesaving cures. Throughout the article

one of the main points the sources argument is how animal testing is more expensive than Commented [OT24]: argue

alternative methods. The two alternative methods mentioned are called in vitro and the

use of synthetic livers. Empiriko, a biotechnology company created synthetic livers that

could predict the livers metabolic reaction to drugs. This process was quicker, cheaper,

and more accurate than testing on animals. Another point made was how animals do not

have rights and therefor experimenting on them should be allowed, while the other side Commented [OT25]: therefore

of the argument states, “A 2017 study found further flaws in animal studies including

"incorrect data interpretation, unforeseen technical issues, incorrectly constituted (or

absent) control groups, selective data reporting”. Meaning the lives of these animals were
being sacrificed for poor studies and research being done.
ProCon.org is a nonprofit nonpartisan public charity that provides professionally-
Commented [OT26]: Split this into two sentences, each
one explaining the two separate points. If you want to
include that quote, it should be a separate sentence.
Commented [OT27]: Instead of “meaning,” try “this would
mean.” I would suggest to avoid beginning a sentence that
ends in -ing.

researched pro, con, on more than 50 argumentative issues. Issues from the death penalty

and gun control to medical marijuana and gay marriage. This is an academic source that

teaches millions new facts and think critically about important issues that should be
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discussed. The purpose of this argument is to show both sides and opinions of the

controversial issue of animal testing. The audience is for those who are concerned by

animal testing and what goes on behind the making of the product being bought. This

source compared to the others explains both sides of the argument rather than just one

and also covers many of the points that aren’t discussed with animal testing. For example, Commented [OT28]: Loving these follow up examples!

how 95% of the animals used are not protected under the Animal Welfare Act or how

drugs that pass animal test are not necessarily safe.

This source was very helpful and showed many points of the arguments that usually Commented [OT29]: Because

aren’t discussed when researching about animal testing. This source provided useful,

credible, and important information that will help with my research paper. This source

gave me valuable information that will make my research stronger and more useful. I will

use this source for my research paper and intend to search more of the credible sites given

throughout the page. Commented [OT30]: This can all be condensed to one
sentence.

After reading this paper I can really tell how passionate you are about animal testing! You were

really good at not inserting personal bias and looking for sources that supported both sides of the

controversial topic.

I would suggest you thoroughly read through your bibliography for grammatical mistakes. I

pointed out a few but at times due to your grammatical mistakes, it didn’t allow your paper to

flow well. Also, I would suggest looking at Mr. Campbell’s annotated bibliography stuff on his

Canvas page. There is a template and instructions on what articles you need to get a good grade
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on this assignment.

(https://uncc.instructure.com/courses/76829/files/2819143/download?download_frd=1)

You are also missing a source. On that canvas page it says that we need at least four sources

(reliable website, scholarly article, peer-reviewed journal, one of your choice).

Overall, really interesting topic and I am very excited to see where you go with this!