NAC Workshops

Arlene & Tom

mediators
learned from Marshall Rosenberg
Session 1 Notes
Men are socialized not to have needs at all, but to focus on achievement and
responsibility.
Women are socialized not to worry about their needs, to focus exclusively on
the needs of others.
Session 2 Notes
IOFNR
Intention. It should be to create greater connection.
Observation.
Feeling. What are mine? What are the other person’s? I can better identify
these if I restate to him or her.
Needs. What do I need? What does s/he need?
Request. Make one or listen to one. Yes, no, maybe, revise for a better
request.
Co-worker incident
”I was just bringing them out to snack, but I was waiting to hear
people come in.” “I know you have a strong connection to those
two children, so I believe you.”
Why wouldn’t she believe me? That’s weird. I can’t understand
Katie. I don’t know how she thinks, and I don’t know what she
thinks about me even after a whole school year together.
I just heard you say, “I believe you.”
Tools that will likely assist in a school
NVC/NAC/CC
Activity. Awareness of breath in nostrils, then accusations, then debrief
what happened.
Activity. If I hear an accusation, ask for a clarification. If I need to state
something in an emotionally charged moment, think through whether it is
as factual as possible before sharing it.
Process. First do a mind-dump. Once you’re out of ammo, in that quiet is
where you start building a pure observation.
Mediation
De-escalation
Developing the skill of neutral statements of observation with children, rather
than “good job”
Questions
When developmentally do you feel it is appropriate to teach NAC tools to
children?