“Slush Fund”

Int: Fanlair

Living room, we see a stack of FREEZY CUPS and FANBOY is lounging against the
pile
FANBOY:
Boy these were some gooo-oood frosty freezy-freezes

CHUM CHUM pops up from the pile at the top slurping loudly

CHUM CHUM:
They sure were
FANBOY:

You know what would top this off? A frosty freezy freeze! (stands up
dramatically)
CHUM CHUM:

Yay! (pause) Wait Fanboy, we can’t have any more frosty freezy freezes

FANBOY:

Oh Contraire my little buddy, I could drink this magical elixir all day.

FANBOY strokes a cup lovingly

CHUM CHUM:

No silly, I mean we already spent all our money

CHUM CHUM opens his BUTT SAFE revealing a DIRTY SOCK and some flies. (sfx
foghorn)

FANBOY:
Gasp! How can this be? (he looks up at the pile of cups) where could all our
money have gone?
CHUM CHUM:
Well we did go shopping

Chum Chum points off screen to pile of stuff in it is a TOILET with a golden seat.
FANBOY walks up to the pile of stuff.

FANBOY:
But we had to get Betty! She was sitting there all alone, begging for a good home.
FANBOY kneels by the toilet and gives it a hug

FANBOY:

You can find the darndest things at the government surplus store. Isn’t the right
Chum Chum?
CHUM CHUM:

Uh huh! But we still don’t have any money…

FANBOY:
Never fear, my faithful sidekick. We will just have to find some refreshment
around here

Int: Kitchen

CHUM CHUM is standing by an open fridge the contents include; a half eaten APPLE, a
slice of CHEESE with a bite taken out, half a FISH, ect.

FANBOY:
Well Chum Chum what are our options?

Chum Chum pulls out a juice box and gives it a little shake. The contents slush around.

CHUM CHUM:
We have half a grape juice box…

FANBOY quickly swipes the juice box and gulps it with a loud slurp.

CHUM CHUM:
Make that one empty juice box.

FANBOY:

Never leave anything half-done Chum Chum, my pal

CHUM CHUM glances at the fridge filled with half eaten stuff

CHUM CHUM:
Wise words.

FANBOY:

I know, right? It was in a fortune cookie I ate once.

 CHUM CHUM:

It still doesn’t solve our drink problem.

FANBOY tries to get the last drop out of the juice box

FANBOY:

Yeah, I’m parched. There must be something around here that is liquidy, sweet
and, quite possibly, partially frozen.

30 seconds later the kitchen is in ruins. FANBOY and CHUM CHUM sit on the floor
panting.

FANBOY:

n n nnnothing.

CHUM CHUM:

So thirsty.

FANBOY:

Well buddy, it’s been nice knowing you. If I die first, I want you to have the Fan
Lair.
CHUM CHUM:

(crying) I don’t want to die Fanboy!

FANBOY:

(hugging CHUM CHUM) Waaahhh

CHUM CHUM:

Wait Fanboy, what about water?

FANBOY:

(pulls away disgusted) Water? Water! I’d have to be pretty disparate to drink that
swill.
CHUM CHUM:

I don’t know Fanboy, I’m pretty desperate.

 FANBOY:

Alright buddy, for you I’ll drink… water

FANBOY and Chum Chum are at the sink filling a cup. FANBOY takes a tentative sip.

FANBOY:

You know this stuff isn’t half-bad, but it needs something

FANBOY picks up a half eaten fish from the floor and places it in the glass and hands it
off to CHUM CHUM

CHUM CHUM:

HMMM too fishy

FANBOY hand him a cup with glue in it

CHUM CHUM:
Too sticky.

FANBOY hands him a cup with a slice of cheese

CHUM CHUM:
Too Cheesy

FANBOY:

It’s no use. There is nothing in the world that will make this water stuff drinkable.

Chum Chum leans down and picks up a JAR

CHUM CHUM:

What about this?

FANBOY:

Le-mon-ne-de drink mix: just add water. You know? This is just so crazy is has to
work!

FANBOY pulls out a pitcher, fills it with water pours the container of powder in. He
mixes the lemonade and pours two glasses.

FANBOY:
 Here goes nothing

CHUM CHUM:

To Nothing!

FANBOY and CHUM CHUM clink their glasses and take a sip.

CHUM CHUM:

Hey, that’s pretty good.

FANBOY:

(eyeing his drink) not bad, not bad, but it needs something. (pause) I Know

FANBOY walks over to a cupboard

FANBOY:

I’m going to add some secret ingredients. No peeking!

FANBOY pulls out a large sack of sugar and adds it to the lemonade. While CHUM
CHUM is turned away he opens the BUTT SAFE and pulls out the SOCK and adds that
to the mix. He stirs and then takes a sip.

FANBOY:

Almost perfect!

CHUM CHUM:

Let me try (takes a sip) Mmmm mmmm! I think it’s great.

FANBOY:

The flavor is there… but it’s not freezy enough.

CHUM CHUM:

Maybe we can put it in the freezer?

FANBOY:

Chum Chum, you’re a genius!

FANBOY places the PITCHER in the freezer. FANBOY and CHUM CHUM sit in front
of the freezer in anticipation.

FANBOY:

well that should do it!

CHUM CHUM:

but it’s only been 10 seconds, I don’t think it’s ready yet.

FANBOY:

Really? (opens freezer and pitcher is the same) Huh, I guess your right.

CHUM CHUM:

We should do something while we wait

2 hours later Chum Chum and FANBOY enter Kitchen with balloons, Viking helmets,
and golf clubs

FANBOY:

Well that was some adventure

CHUM CHUM:

Sure was.

FANBOY:

Hey I wonder if our Le-mon-ne-de is ready

FANBOY pulls out an iced over pitcher.

CHUM CHUM:

Look it’s half frozen

FANBOY pulls out a straw and pokes at the top with no avail.

FANBOY:
 Do you know what this means?

CHUM CHUM:

That we should go on another adventure while it thaws?

FANBOY:

No, it means I get to try out my new mallet I got at the surplus store. I knew this
thing would come in handy.

FANBOY places the PITCHER on the floor and smashes with a mallet he got out of thin
air. After a rigorous beating CHUM CHUM approaches the pitcher and sticks a finger in
for a taste test.

CHUM CHUM:

Wow! You should taste this!

FANBOY:

Is it another failure?

FANBOY sips the pitcher and a gleeful look steals across this face.

FANBOY:

it’s, it’s wonderful

CHUM CHUM:

Almost like a lemon frosty freezy freeze

FANBOY:

Shhh!

FANBOY covers Chum Chums mouth

CHUM CHUM:

Raaawt rives? (What gives)

FANBOY:
 Uh uh, Chum Chum, it would be sacrilegious to compare our home brewed
beverage to the wonder that is the frosty freezy freeze.

CHUM CHUM:

(Lips hanging out from FANBOYs hand) What should we call it then?

FANBOY:

A name, a name… well it’s yellow…

CHUM CHUM:

And not a frosty freezy freeze.

FANBOY:

That’s it! This drink (lifts pitcher into the air) shall henceforth be called a Yellow,
not a freezy freeze!

OZ:

What’s not a freezy freeze?

OZ enters off screen

FANBOY:

Oz! What are you doing here?

OZ:

I came to get some ice but I see you are all out. Seriously.

FANBOY:

We have something better than ice

Fanboy hands OZ a CUP of lemonade

OZ:

What gives? Are they out of frosty freezy freezes at the mart?

CHUM CHUM:
 No but we were out of money. So Fanboy mixed something almost as good

OZ:

Not bad. You know, if you are all out of money you could sell this stuff.

FANBOY and CHUM CHUM:

Sell?

OZ:

Cha. Captain Richman had a lemonade stand back in issue one. It’s like, how he
got bitten buy that radio-active lemon.

FANBOY:

We could be rich! Thanks Oz!

FANBOY and CHUM CHUM zip out of the kitchen

Ext: Outside sidewalk

CHUM CHUM and FANBOY sit at a stand. The LEMONADE is nearby in BETTY the
TOILET.

FANBOY:

Come one, come all, and taste the wonder that is Yellow! (aside to Chum Chum)
I shorten the name. Very edgy.

CHUM CHUM:

You’re so smart.

FANBOY:

I Know! Come and get a cool glass of Yellow. Only 25 cents.

KYLE walks into frame

KYLE:

What are you idiots up to now? (Glances into Betty) You know what? Never mind
I don’t want to know.

CHUM CHUM:
 It’s Yellow, our new drink.

FANBOY:

Only a quarter.

KYLE:

As if I would foul my lips with any concoction you two made.

FANBOY:

What if we gave you a free sample?

KYLE:

No

FANBOY proceeds to shove a drink into KYLE’S face. He struggles but tastes it any
way.

KYLE:

Mmmm this isn’t half bad… Actually it is quite good.

KYLE drinks his whole glass and glances around

KYLE:

I can’t believe I’m saying this… but, I’ll buy a glass.

Kyle hands over a quarter and Chum Chum ladles more lemonade into his cup. As Kyle
drinks Yo enters frame.

YO:

You who, Chum Chum, cutie pie.

FANBOY:

Uh uh Yo, no talking to my server unless you here to buy a drink

YO:
 OK (Places a quarter on the counter) So Chum Chum dearest what are you
selling?

CHUM CHUM:

Yellow! (Raises a glass)

YO:

Eh… that sure is yellow…

CHUM CHUM:

It’s good. Fanboy and I made it.

YO:

Well if you made it, I sure it’s yummy. (takes a sip) Uh woooow. This is good
Chum Chum. You’re an adorable frozen drink master.

FANBOY:

Ahem, that enough Yo. You got your drink so stop holding up the line

YO:

Hey, you said I had to buy something, and I did. I get to talk to Chum Chum all I
want.

Kyle:

I need another Yellow!

Enter LUPE

LUPE:

One please

KYLE:

Back of the line!

YO:

Hey it’s still my turn!

 CHUM CHUM:

Um, I think were out

KYLE:

What?

YO:

Noooo

FANBOY:

Give me two shakes of a lamb’s tail, and I’ll make some more

2 minutes later FANBOY returns and there is a huge line awaiting him

CHUM CHUM:

Hurry Fanboy, the crowd is getting restless

MR MUFFLIN:

Yellow!

MITZY the goat

Bahhh

FANBOY:

Boy, Chum Chum. I wonder if it’s this crazy at the frosty mart.

Cut to LENNY in the Frosty mart looking bored.

LENNY

wow, it’s quiet today. (voice echos and he strikes a Kung Fu pose) too quiet… hi-
yay! (beat) huh, I guess no one is here. A guy could get use to this.

LENNY lounges back and 3 days later he’s in the same spot but obviously bored.
 LENNY:

So quiet. I, I need customers. Any one! Even…

Door chime

LENNY:

A custom… oh hey Boog. (beat) BOOG! Boy am I glad to see you. It’s been so
quiet… soo very, very quiet (crackle) I think I might be going insane. (Eye pop)

BOOG:

Yeah, about that. I’m jut saying hi to chimp chomp and then I’m leaving. You’ll
have to cover my shift.

LENNY:

C c c cover your shift? No way!

BOOG:

Way. Or do I have to pop you?

LENNY groans

BOOG:

That’s what I thought

LENNY:

Where are you going anyway?

BOOG:

To the Yellow stand.

LENNY:

Wah?

BOOG:

You. Haven’t. Had. Yellow?

 LENNY:

Yellow?

BOOG:

You’ve got to check this out. The dweebs have made this awesome drink. It’s great. Now
I can get a refreshing drink and my bop buddies at the same place. Come on, I’ll show
you.

LENNY:

But the store!

BOOG flips the open sign to close

BOOG:

Problem solved, now lets go. Bye chimp chomp, daddy will be back later.

BOOG pushes LENNY out the door

EX: on the sidewalk by the stand.

The lemonade stand has been upgraded with a sign now saying “Y” There is a lot of
people around as LENNY and BOOG walk up. FANBOY is wiping a glass like a
bartender

FANBOY:

Lenny, my pal, how are things over at the frosty mart?

LENNY:

Good?

FANBOY:

I keep meaning to visit, but you know how running a business goes. I just can’t
seem to get away.

LENNY:

Right…

BOOG:
 Enough chit chat, where’s the stuff?

FANBOY:

You got the money?

BOOG:

Yeah, it’s right here in my bopping fist

FANBOY:

Chum Chum, get this man a drink

CHUM CHUM enters on roller-skates and a tray of DRINKS. BOOG takes both of the
glasses and gulps them down.

BOOG:

That is some good yellow.

CHUM CHUM:

Actually it’s called “Y” Fanboy says acronyms are very edgy now.

FANBOY:

So, from one drink seller to another I want your honest opinion Leonard.

FANBOY hands a CUP to LENNY. And after some hesitation he takes a sip.

LENNY

This is just…

A LIMO comes down the street and stops in front of the stand. A MAN in a suit steps
out. He looks around, and the crowd around the stand stops what ever they were doing
and stare.

LENNY:

Mr. Johnson! It’s an honor sir.

Mr. JOHNSON lifts a finger to silence LENNY and takes his glass. As he takes a sip,
FANBOY pulls LENNY aside.
 FANBOY:

(whispering) who’s that?

LENNY

Mr. Johnson (pause) he is the head of product development for Frosty Mart

CHUM CHUM:

Wow

MR JOHNSON:

And who may I ask, is the proprietor of this shop?

FANBOY:

I have no idea what you just said but hi, my name is Fanboy and this is Chum
Chum. We own this stand.

MR JOHNSON:

I see

FANBOY:

This is an honor sir. We are huge fans of Frosty Freezy Freezes

MR JOHNSON:

Ah yes, some of my finest work. And yet here, this Y drink, has been more
popular lately

CHUM CHUM:

We’re sorry!

MR JOHNSON:

No, no. I like it, in fact I’d like to buy the recipe and start serving in frosty marts
across the nation.

CROWD
 Ooooo

MR JOHNSON:

Yes, yes. Those pink and blue flavors are outdated. It has been time to update the
frosty freezy freeze selection

FANBOY:

Wait… you mean you won’t serve pink and blue anymore?

MR JHONSON:

Only yellow

CHUM CHUM:

But I like pink

FANBOY:

And blue

CHUM CHUM:

And pink

FANBOY:

And lets not forget blue.

MR JHONSON:

Enough. I’m willing to pay top dollar for your yellow slush recipe. Don’t you
want to be rich?

FANBOY:

Money means nothing if it costs me my soul.

CHUM CHUM:

Yeah

BOOG:
 Now, now, buddy pals of mine, don’t be hasty. I want, I mean you could use that
money to buy lots of stuff. Like new rims…

LENNY

With all due respect sir this drink is just frozen lem-

BOOG elbows LENNY who doubles over in pain.

BOOG:

I’m sure the boys would love to sell their recipe. Wouldn’t you Chum Chum?

CHUM CHUM:

Ah well… I don’t know the recipe. Fanboy makes it. Waaahhh I cracked.

FANBOY:

There there chum old buddy. I won’t crack. And I say no.

MR JHONSON:

I see you need some time to think about it. I’ll be back this time tomorrow. I hope
you change your minds by then.

BOOG makes a fist

BOOG:

Oh I’m sure they will.

SFX of door shutting and limo driving away.

LENNY:

You know this is just lemonade right?

CHUM CHUM:

Nuh, uh. Fanboy added a secret ingredient.

LENNY:

Like what?
 FANBOY:

Is wouldn’t be a secret if I tell you.

BOOG:

Well you better tell me

FANBOY:

I’m sorry Boog, I can’t do that.

BOOG:

Why I outta…

The crowd, no longer spell bound by limo rushes forward demanding drinks. BOOG gets
swept away.

LENNY:

You know there is something different about this lemonade. There is something
familiar about it too…

FANBOY and CHUM CHUM serve drinks to the crowd

LENNY:

Well back to the frosty mart.

LENNY walks away and BOOG grabs him out from some bushes.

LENNY:

Hey!

BOOG:

Shhh!

LENNY:

What gives?

BOOG:
 We’ve got to find out that formula.

LENNY:

I don’t care about it. If those two are busy with their stand then they won’t be in
the Frosty Mart. It’s great

BOOG:

But we could be rich!

LENNY:

Do it on your own

BOOG:

Fine, more money for me. Hehe

LENNY:

Lunatic

LENNY walks away and BOOG pulls out a pair of binoculars. He spots FANBOY
entering the fan lair.

Int: Kitchen FANBOY has a pitcher that he fills with water. BOOG bursts through the
door.

BOOG:

Gotcha!

FANBOY:

What? I’m just watering my new plant.

BOOG:

I don’t see any plants…

FANBOY glances over BOOG’s shoulder. Behind BOOG is a large Venus flytrap that
eats him. (montage) FANBOY has pulled out a pitcher from the freezer. He proceeds to
smash the half-frozen drink with a mallet clonking a slime covered BOOG in the process.
Later still, FANBOY is outside at the stand getting ready to pour a new batch into Betty.
BOOG pops out of the toilet only to be flushed by Chum Chum. FANBOY is walking
down the street and a piano falls out of no where crashing on top of BOOG. BOOG pops
out of the piano

BOOG:

Arrg! That’s it, give me that recipe or I’ll bop it out of you.

BOOG looks to FANBOY only to see him crossing the street. BOOG runs after him only
to be smashed by an oncoming school bus.

That night FANBOY and CHUM CHUM are in the living room of the fanlair counting
quarters when they hear a knocking at the door. CHUM CHUM opens it to see an
exhausted BOOG standing out side with a crutch and his arm in a sling. Multiple
scratches are on his face.

FANBOY:

Oh hey Boog. What brings you to our home?

BOOG:

Give me…

BOOG falls over

CHUM CHUM:

I think he’s hurt

FANBOY:

You right but what would make him feel better? I know, lets give him a glass of
Y!

FANBOY rushes to the Kitchen and brings back a glass of lemonade but on his way back
he trips and spills the drink on BOOG. BOOG reacts violently to the acid on his scratches

BOOG:

Aaaah it burns. Aahhh I got it in my eyes!

BOOG steps back and falls out and down with various crashing noises.

FANBOY:
 Boy it made him feel so good that didn’t want to stay. How about that Chum
Chum?

CHUM CHUM:

I’m surprised that he didn’t try to bop us.

FANBOY:

Chum Chum my buddy, we have become his equals

CHUM CHUM:

We have?

FANBOY:

Yeah, fellow freezy drink vendors shouldn’t pop each other.

CHUM CHUM:

That makes sense.

FANBOY:

So Chum Chum, I think I may sell the Y recipe.

CHUM CHUM:

Why?

FANBOY:

Who am I to stand in the way of progress? Besides all this work is no fun.

CHUM CHUM:

Yeah

FANBOY:

Plus we have enough quarters here to last us a long time.

The next day there is a large crowd (which includes BOOG and LENNY) in front of the
stand. FANBOY stands on the counter as CHUM CHUM is ready with a pitcher of
lemonade.
 FANBOY:

Ladies and gentlemen this Y stand will be closing down.

CROWD:

Awww

CHUM CHUM:

Don’t be sad

FANBOY:

That’s right soon Y will be available in Frosty Marts across the nation

CROWD:

Yay

FANBOY:

And to celebrate we will be serving free Y all day today.

CROWD

Yay!!!

Crowd surges forward except LENNY and BOOG. LENNY turns to BOOG

LENNY:

I still think there is something weird about that lemonade. Did you get the recipe?

BOOG:

No, but it’s going to be easier to their money once they sell the recipe. Hehe

LENNY:

It will?

BOOG:
 Yeah, just think once they sell that recipe they will be back in the Frosty Mart
where the bopping is easy.

LENNY:

Oh right…

BOOG:

They’ll have so much cash they’ll practically live there.

LENNY:

They already do…

BOOG shrugs and LENNY looks nervous. The limo returns and out steps MR.
JOHNSON wearing a Fanboy-style cape.

FANBOY:

Cool threads.

MR JOHNSON:

You boys have inspired me to revisit my youth. I want to give Frosty Mart a
makeover. How would you do like to become consultants. You’ll get to work with me to
renew Frosty Mart as the place for kids to hang out and drink frosty freezy freeze

FANBOY and CHUM CHUM:

Really???

LENNY:

Oh this is bad,

FANBOY and CHUM CHUM:

Wooooo

FANBOY and Chum Chum jump up and down clicking their heels. One of Fanboy’s
shoes flies off and hits LENNY in the face

FANBOY:

Whoops, sorry
 LENNY:

Why you (pause) wait I recognize this smell

BOOG:

You do?

LENNY takes another sniff looking perturbed

LENNY:

Do you… put shoes in your lemonade?

FANBOY:

Socks actually

FANBOY wiggles the toes on his shoeless foot. The crowd looks down at his feet and
then to their cups.

CROWD:

Ewww

The crowd dumps out their drinks

MR JOHNSON:

Well this is, well… deal is off

MR JOHNSON runs back to limo and drives off. The crowd throws their cups down and
starts to walks off. BOOG punches LENNY in the arm.

BOOG:

Thanks a lot

CHUM CHUM:

What just happen?

FANBOY:

Some people can’t just understand my creative genius.

 CHUM CHUM:

Well I guess this means that the Frosty Mart will still serve pink and blue.

FANBOY:

Hey, that’s right. And we made plenty of money… let’s go there now

Close up on LENNY’s eye twitching as the screen fades to black.

End.