Not Alone in Hate

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Chapter 1

A long black bludgeon was directly pointed to a very feeble


wounded man, who was hopelessly kneeling down to his feet and
remorsefully pleading for mercy. His face was visibly gorged with brilliant
crimson stains of blood and dark purple marks of blows and hits.
He helplessly gulped for air as big drops of sweat heavily fell
down from his forehead. He strongly called for help, looking so desolate
and hopeful that somebody would perhaps hear his cry.
Merely a small round bulb filled the minute secluded underground
room with yellowish light that made the place look so hot and air-less. A
group of well-built men forcefully hit the flimsy being who poorly lied on
the ground. With bludgeons tightly grasped by their hands, they heartlessly
pounded him as he yelled to his might.
Among those ferocious brutal boors was a young lad who was not
as tall as them but bore a very handsome and uncommon visage. He looked
very different from the others. There were no tattoos or maculate drawings
on his face and arms—they’re completely clean. He looked pristine and
harmless—unusual from his odd and immature actions. He pretty gave a
gentle and inculpable impression, far diverse from the others’ rapacious air.
He did not look like he’s one of them, really! However, he beat the poor

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man rather harshly and stalwartly, impossible for a little body—compared
to the others—like his to do. With the long hefty bludgeon set on his
shoulder and his clear melancholic eyes abhorrently directed to the
wounded man, he firmly stood and vigorously kicked him while
interrogating, “Do you want to die?” calmly.
The poor wounded man stared at him like he’s giving up, yet he
was not opening his mouth.
Once again, the guy with beautiful clear eyes exclaimed as he
lifted the man’s swollen face, “Just tell us your master’s name and we’ll
spare your life.”
“This man’s as hard as a rock!” impatiently proclaimed a long-
haired gangster whose eyes were covered by thick dark glasses and teeth
festooned with metallic braces as he readied to give off a nice hard kick.
“Morgan!!”
Everyone fell into silence.
“Leave that man to me.”
“Jayden Lee!” A man with blue jacket protested as he drew
himself near the gutsy-looking guy in ashen white shirt.
“I said leave him to me!” continued the guy.
“Hey! Jayden Lee! Boss Liam…”
“I know what I’m doing.”
The others gave doubtful looks to each other; even the poor injured
man was kind of surprised of this young guy’s odd action. He glanced at
him like a troubled-bullied kid in middle school.
“You!!” shrieked the other man with red braces, “You think you’re
superior?” He gave Jayden a very dangerous stare, yet the young guy was
not moved. Instead, he faced the enraged gangster and coolly answered,
“You think I am?” And he haughtily smirked.

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The others seemed to get exceedingly pissed off. Nobody like this
little guy could ever insult us!
The biggest among them all, probably around 150 kilogram,
slowly thrust himself to the composed lad, who manfully stared at him like
he’s somebody. He grasped Jayden’s collar and lifted him to the air with
glimpses that could almost likely kill a beast. Nevertheless, the brave lad,
instead of getting scared, just gave an audacious smile and uttered, “Is that
all you can do?” He sounded as if he’s challenging his mad consorts.
The rueful injured man began to be confused. He frantically
watched the aggravating conversation between the handsome over-
confident lad and the blatantly pissed off comrades.
The sickening eyes of the 150 kilogram man blazed with hot
flames like he’s ready to burst. As he was about to box the perky brave lad,
the man with a long hair and thick dark glasses, Morgan, called, “Thomas!”
The large heavy man, Thomas, halted
“Don’t lay a finger on him!” He continued
Thomas brought him down and saw the cocky young lad scornfully
beaming. He faced the long-haired Morgan and protested, “Morgan, this
guy’s head starts to fill with air. We have to do something.”
What’s happening?, wondered the blooded victim on the ground.
Morgan turned to Jayden, seriously stared at him, and said, “Jayden Lee,
don’t get too self-assured. Even though Boss Liam finds you good, there’s a
bunch of us who dislike you. Let me just remind you, it’s hard to defeat a
battalion, especially with that kind of air!” He pointed to Jayden’s forehead.
Jayden looked like he’s receiving all the comments but not
comprehending them. He replied to Morgan, beaming, “Old man, I think
it’s time for you to teach yourself to like me, since we’re pretty sure that
we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. Only that, I’ll be steps ahead of
you. Clear?” He sounded so proud.

3
Morgan just gave a smile.
“Yo! Young lad, you’re so bold!” pronounced another man.
“You can’t talk to Morgan that way!”
“He’s older than you.”
However, Jayden just crookedly grinned.
Morgan spoke, “Everybody, let’s go back now.” with his furious
eyes directed to the young brave lad.
“Morgan!! Morgan!!”
A very tall thin man came rushing down the dark stairs, shouting.
He looked terrified.
“Morgan…” He found ways to breathe in.
“What’s the problem?” calmly asked Morgan.
“There are patrol cars above ground!”
Everyone inside started to become startled but not Jayden.
Thomas, the largest creature in the tiny room, said, “We better
leave this place, Morgan.”, as he gazed at the unconscious man lying on the
dusty ground.
“Bring him to the car. Use the other way.” Morgan quickly
ordered.
Then the others carried on them the rueful wounded man. They
hurried to abscond from the room, but, Jayden just stood like he had no plan
of escaping.
“Ya!” Morgan called him while pulling out a large box from one of
the corners of the room. He persisted, looking at the clueless-seeming
Jayden, “Why aren’t you leaving?”
Jayden turned his bare stare to the man.
After a few seconds of silence, Morgan, who was now carrying the
large box on his back, just uttered, “Just be back tomorrow morning. I’ll
prepare a delicious breakfast for everyone.” He smiled and haughtily left.

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Jayden was left alone inside the barren filthy room with the tiny
light flickering like a firefly’s bulk. He looked devastated. It was like there
was something inside his mind that bothered him so much. He could clearly
hear the siren of the patrol cars and the noisy scoots of vehicles. Then, all of
a sudden, he just heard loud blasts of guns shots—short and long. His heart
fleetingly thumped like galloping horses. What’s happening outside? Then,
there was another louder blast. His legs trembled. He did not understand
what he feels. He’s uneasy and anxious—nervous of what was about to
happen. Sweat began to fall down from his forehead. He felt warmth and an
unexplainable sensation.
Just as he fell down into his knees, a man with two large front
teeth, a humungous mole with two long hairs on his lower-part face, a
crooked nose and a pair of slanted eyes, came rushing down the stairs,
breathlessly.
“Jayden! Jayden!”
He slowly opened his eyes.
“You have to get out of here!!”
He gave a startled look.
“Two of the members were caught by the cops!” added the agitated
man.
Jayden’s eyes widened with disbelief.
He continued, holding his breath out, “Morgan asked me to get you
out of here before they find this place… Jayden, we have to leave!” He
stalwartly pulled the hand of the empty-minded lad.
“Jayden! Jayden!”
But, all Jayden did was bury his face with his hands and seemed to
be unaffected.
“Jayden!” He lowly screamed, trying not to expose his voice to the
outside. He kept on glimpsing at the stairs to see who are coming. His voice

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badly quavered but it did not move Jayden, who was still sitting restlessly at
one corner of the room with his head leaned against the wall and his eyes
shut. He powerfully shrugged the lad’s arms while calling out his name;
however, he’s a failure, until the police cars’ sirens grew more vociferous,
which shook him up the more.
“They’re coming! They’re coming!” diddered the poor man as he
kept on joggling Jayden’s sleeve like an unforgivable coward.
Alas! Jayden opened his eyes and uttered coldly, “Can you please
stop shrugging me? … I’m turning mad!” His eyes, out of the blue, turned
ferocious—hot like blazing tonic guns. Unable to withstand himself, he
punched the poor quivering man.
Then, his vision all of a sudden darkened. Everything he saw faded
like smoke in the sky. He couldn’t see anything and he felt dizzy. He’s
loosing consciousness and he sensed his body getting weak and falling
apart. He couldn’t move a muscle. His surrounding’s moving quite queer
and droll. He forced to keep his eyes open but they just wanted to close. He
obscurely saw the man he just punched sway and fell in front of him with a
clamoring sound; then, it’s totally empty—dark.

A lucent light beaming on top of his onerous eyes caught his


attention. He watched it shimmer like a big diamond until he realized the
heaviness he felt on his head. Why does it hurt? He slowly rose from a soft
couch while beating his aching head. Then, just as he recognized his room,
he heard a very cold and firm voice beside.
“Oi! Jayden Lee!”
He turned to face a bulldozing visage of a man with a scary deep
scar on his left eye. He’s almost bald at the middle but he seemed to be
strong and browbeating. He had a big sturdy bulk and he wore very

6
expensive clothes with matching gold and silvers on his neck, wrists and
fingers. He gave Jayden a very friendly but meaningful smirk.
“I told you, being hard-headed won’t save you…” The mysterious
man told the lad.
Jayden, then, removed his gawk from his.
“This is the second time, Jayden. Bringing trouble to the group is
not a good strategy for drawing out attention.” He blew his cigarette and
two rings of smoke were formed.
“But, let’s just forget what happened last night.” Added he, and
persisted, “It’s unnecessary to talk about it… knowing you.” He beamed.
Then, he rose from his seat, turned his back to the void-minded lad
and uttered, “Sometimes you need to have a heart, though it’s completely
unimportant, with the kind of things we do… You have to forget about
feelings. You have to forget about compassion. However, it just requires it.
You can never avoid circumstances like being confused, like sympathizing
other people, but we just can’t fall into it. We have to be heartless, most of
the time, or better be such…forever.” As he pronounced the last word, he
seriously faced Jayden, who slowly moved his cold stare to the man.
“I hope every thing’s clear to you now, young man. I may be
overlooking your imperfections, but it doesn’t mean that I always agree on
you… What you did last night, I guess, is too much.” He continued as he
moved his hands, “Disobeying orders is a big ‘no’ for me—you know
that… Showing some air might be excusable—it’s part of who we are, who
you are. But getting yourself into such situation is a humungous trouble for
me and the business.”
Jayden heavily sighed while removing his look from the man who
was probably the gangsters’ leader, Boss Liam. Upon seeing the change of
expression on the young lad’s face, he beamed and said, “I expect great
things from you, boy, so don’t disappoint me.

7
Chapter 2

I don’t understand why I feel this way. I am not like this before.
My mind is always empty. I’m like a living dead—breathing but insensible
and impervious. I, sometimes, find myself blankly staring at a certain thing,
without knowing what’s in my mind.
I’m not really sure—if what I’m doing is right. Perhaps, I’m
uncertain. But uncertain of what? I just don’t know. I have no idea. I want
to end this, but how?
There are incidents when I tried it; however, I always end up as a
failure—waking up in the same room with my body feeling so heavy and
tired. Then, there I go again; I gawk at something like it’s the end of my
life, even though it’s quite impossible.
Maybe, this is not what I wanted. Maybe, I’m no longer happy.
Maybe, I’m tired of doing the same thing all over again. Maybe, I’m just
scared of what lies ahead of me, the responsibilities, which I’m about to
carry. Maybe, this is not what I’m supposed to do. Maybe, I was born for
something else—not for this. However, they’re all assumptions. I’ve never

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been sure in my entire life. I’ve never even made a decision all by myself. It
was always him.
I don’t know how this happened. It’s completely unexpected. It’s
far way opposite to what it used to be when I was younger.
He was seven years old when his mother sold him to this man
whom she owed millions. And because he had no father, his mama used
him to pay his debt. I can never forget that day. I was begging her not to
leave me, with my knees almost buried under the ground. But what she did
was the worst thing a mother could do to her child. I felt like I was
abandoned. I thought that she doesn’t care for me. She left me without
crying. She seemed to be so relieved…that her debt is paid…because of me.
I was so hurt, she saw me—I was crying, pleading, but she’s iron hearted.
She’s like not a mother.
Fourteen years had passed but he could still remember that very
day, fresh as a newly picked cabbage in the backyard. He saw men’s faces.
They all looked unfriendly and scary. I told her I don’t want to be with
them, but, she quickly countered, “Starting today, you will no longer call me
your mother!”
His eyes widened. He was totally dumbfounded. He asked himself
why she had to hurt him this way. He could not believe her. He called her
many times, with tears slowly flowing down to his cheeks. “Mama…
Mama…”
“Stop acting childish,” Her eyes were enraging. She sounded
frightened. “You are not my son anymore!! You have a new family now…
Look at this place! Don’t tell me you don’t want this? It’s big…and…and
luxurious. Do you think I can give you all these to you? Listen, Jayden… I
don’t want you. The very day you came in to my life was my greatest
nightmare. You were never a blessing to me. I lost your father because of
you… Now, I think, losing you might bring me good luck.” She looked into

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his trembling unbelieving eyes and continued, “I don’t want to see you
anymore, and I don’t care if you’ll hate me!”
“Mama… Mama… Please…” He cried. I tried to reach for her
sleeve but she slapped my hands. It was loud and painful. I could still
remember its intensity though many years has passed. I was frozen with
tremendous astonishment.
There was silence. Even the sturdy men that surrounded him fell
into shock. They looked startled and incredulous.
She broke the stillness, “Please accept the boy. Treat him like your
own.” She bowed her head in front of this scary and bloodcurdling man. He
looked so creepy, especially the large scar on his left eye. She continued,
“He’s an obedient boy.”
“Are you really sure about this?” he asked.
Mama nodded. I saw her with my own eyes. She did not hesitate.
“Very well! Morgan, bring the boy to his room.” He steadfastly
commanded.
Another man came into his view. He’s big, and he looked brave
and strong. He tightly clutched my tiny arms while telling me to follow him.
He watched her. Her face was still—no expressions. She just gazed
at me, who at the same tine was dragged by those men while calling her
name.
Then, he couldn’t see her anymore. He could hear his heart
tempestuously throbbing. I was shouting for her, loudly. But all I could see
was a large hallway with gigantic magnificent doors around—no Mama. I
got scared. She left me—and that’s it. She did not want me at the first place
—and I don’t care. I don’t want her as well!
He closed his eyes while he remembered that heartbreaking part of
his life. It always haunted him, that’s why through the years he lived his life
with solitude and the dream for revenge. Hatred seemed to grow with him.

10
The sunshine outside his window gleamed so brilliantly that it
alighted on his face and wakened him from a deep sleep. As he opened his
eyes, he witnessed a happy visage smiling at him. It’s Morgan.
“I’ve brought you your breakfast.” He gaily conveyed with his
hands carrying a normal-sized tray, which had delicious—looking foods
carefully rested.
He set it on top of the ostentatious desk at the foot of his bed.
“How’s your sleep?”
Jayden didn’t answer. He stared at the tray of foods like he had no
plan of touching it.
Jayden quite knew what’s going unto this young lad’s mind. It’s
not unusual. Everyday of the past few months, Jayden woke up like an
automated robot—without feelings—numb.
After a lonely year of rickety adjustments and adaptations, the
young man learned to accept them and face life like he has no painful pasts.
Liam treated him like his own son since he hadn’t got one. Jayden seemed
he’s enjoying the things around him—play, play some more, and play all
day long. He got Morgan with him to spend each seconds of his life to the
fullest. He got to wear expensive clothes, eat delicious and pricey food,
sleep in a huge comfy bed, own costly toys, and go to other countries with
the men. He’s his family—his new family—his true family. They were the
people who cared for him.
Jayden seemed like he had interred his mother’s memory to his
forgotten past. He no longer cried for her. He no longer dreamed of her. It
appeared like he had totally buried her six feet under the ground. In all
honesty, Jayden admitted that he gave all his effort to erase her mother’s
memory from his—and he did not regret. He no more wanted to be troubled
by her selfishness.

11
However he tried to conceal her mother’s memoirs during his first
few months, her beautiful smile and sparkling eyes kept on popping in her
mind, which made him suffer more. There was no single day that he
wouldn’t weep. Even so, he would not talk to anyone—not even to Liam.
He would lock himself up in his room and never leave the place unless
Morgan would call him for dinner. But, as days passed, he learned to accept
his fate.
I thought I’d die, but they were all so nice to me. They helped me
overcome sorrow and loneliness.
Boss Liam was a very generous man, though only few knew it—
those who were close to him. He’s wealthy and influential to an unusual
world where only the strongest could survive, yet Jayden did not know
anything about this man’s job until he turned fifteen.
He sent the young boy to the country’s finest schools. He even sent
him abroad for college, and Jayden, being very thankful to this man’s
kindness, paid him by graduating as a top student in school.
Being under the care of virile and strong men, Jayden began to
develop the same attitude as them. He thought of himself as the strongest in
his class. He learned to bully the weak when he was ten. Nobody could
surpass his air. When he was younger, he liked stealing his classmates’
allowance and snacks. He would force the geeks to answer his assignments
and make his projects. He would even lie to his teachers. Jayden learned all
these because of Liam Yoon.
The man very well knew that it wouldn’t do any good to the boy,
but, he did not dare correct him. Instead, he would even tolerate him to
continue doing such naughty things because according to him, “Strength is
the true measure of a man.”
Despite of his waywardness, Jayden had managed to keep his
studies. He excelled in his class, especially in college.

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One day, the eight year-old Jayden went home with scratches and
wounds around his face, arms and legs. He always returned from school
with all those unwanted injuries, and not only Boss Liam had noticed it but
also the other men, specifically Morgan, who happened to be the first one to
become his friend.
Inside a humungous room with one elegant chandelier made of real
velvet sapphires at the heart of the ceiling, the little Jayden was crying
because of pain. He sat on a soft red sofa opposite to the delicately polished
wooden antique table. Morgan was putting on an antidote and Boss Liam
was smirking. The little lad saw his smiles. Why is he laughing at me?
The moon was brightly shimmering outside the large window with
satin white drapes neatly fixed at both sides. The walls were painted with
blood red and at the center of the corners were golden linings. It was a very
huge room filled with expensive materials Jayden had ever seen in his entire
life. The place seemed to be enveloped with elegance and class as all the
objects he saw shine like stars that night. He must be very rich! He told
himself while gawking at the robust man with a tobacco clinched by his
teeth. He saw him sat beside him. He raised his large right hand and gently
tapped the young boy’s little head. Jayden thought that he would hit him or
whatsoever, but to his surprise, the scary man gave an amicable beam while
touching his head. He lifted his little innocent face and looked up to the
man.
Then, the mysterious man spoke, “These scratches are just an inch
of your tiny thumb. They don’t deserve your tears, so don’t waste them…
Little boy, you won’t get strong if you cry. Crying makes people weak—
that is what losers do. Tomorrow, face those browbeaters and show them
who you are. Show them that you are from the ‘House of Yoon’. Show
them that you deserve to be here.” And, he seriously faced the young boy
and continues, “I don’t need weaklings inside my place. Starting tonight,

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you are no longer feeble and decrepit. You are reborn. Little Jayden’s gone.
You’re a man now, and real men don’t cry. They’re strong and powerful…
Jayden, you will become a somebody someday—a somebody much greater
than me.”
And he patted his hair.
He’s a great man! I want to become like him… Little Jayden told
himself.
Beginning that night, Jayden felt that there was something within
him arising—something that wanted to drive him. It felt peculiar. He, out of
the blue, wanted for the next day to arrive. Perhaps, he was anticipating to
face those bullies and prove to them that they got the wrong guy. Perhaps,
he felt that he’s not a kid anymore. Even though with his minute physique,
he thought of himself as a sinewy godlike full grown man, who nobody
could ever step down to.
I want to be like him! He kept on telling himself.
As he looked at the strict man with delight, his eyes seemed to
glitter with admiration and glee. He never thought that he could be this
happy. He had never felt this before, and nobody ever made him feel this
way. Finally, he deemed, I found a home. I found a new family…
Then, the strict man smiled, showing off his teeth blanketed with
golden braces with bitsy emeralds, weensy as the world’s smallest bead.
The young lad gaped around him, and he discerned everyone’s warm
beams. Although, physically, they appeared scary because of their unusual
and over-masculine semblances, yet, he thought, there was something more
if you look beyond what was visible.
I want to be strong. I don’t want to fall again and get laughed to.
Nobody will ever look down on me…ever!
Everything ran normally and smoothly as years passed. Jayden had
grown into somebody he’d always wanted to be. School was never his

14
passion. He often cut classes and frequently did naughty tricks to other
students. However, despite his lack of interest to this field, he on no account
got failing marks in all his subjects. As a matter of fact, he’s one of the top
students in middle school—and every one at home was so proud of him.
Until one day, Boss Liam told him about something, which
according to the man would change the course of his life. The teenage
Jayden learned Liam Yoon’s illegal businesses, and that the man he trusted
is the founder of Asia’s greatest Mafia. The money that brought him to
school and fed him was from unlawful transactions; however, he looked as
if the subject was not debatable. It’s nothing for him, whether or whether
not he was grown by criminals. I don’t care. They’re my family. Jayden
gladly accepted the twist of his tale. Moreover, he became more thankful
when the group wooed him to join them. He was given special trainings for
two years. He was taught with taekwondo, ju-jitsu, wushu, and gun
shooting. Morgan even labeled him as the sharpest shooter of the group. On
his nineteenth birthday, Boss Liam gave him his own gun as a present. He
also told him, “You have proven your worth. I’m looking forward for your
first mission.”
For college, he went to Canada to study. He took up a major in
Finance and Management. For quite a time, he got separated to the group,
but, every school breaks, he assured to book a flight going home.
He seriously grabbed the opportunity of getting into a university,
thus, he kept himself with books and pens. Due to his natural intelligence,
Jayden did not find it difficult to pass all the tests, and luckily graduate with
flying colors. Nobody really knew why, behind his stubborn and sturdy
mien, he had the fire to take school seriously—not even his closest friend,
Morgan. Sometimes, the man would think that Jayden was not born to be
like him, that he was in-stored for something else—something bigger and
more beautiful. But every time he told this to the young lad, he always got

15
the same answers, “This is for me,” while Jayden polished his black-silvery
gun with cloth and continued, “And this just means, I’ll die together with
you.” And he always ended it with an egotistic smile.
Truly, Jayden had grown into a man of handsome looks, amazing
intelligence but of contemptuous and strange personality. Through the
years, he learned to stand on his own feet and be proud of himself, all the
time. He had become into the somebody Boss Liam had always wanted him
to be.
However, he seemed to change. Something eccentric and odd,
which he could not briefly identify its source, was hunting him down and
made him look so troubled. For days, he was out of himself; he couldn’t
sleep and eat well. Something had just gone wrong, but he had no idea what
it was.
Morgan saw how pale the young lad’s face is. It’s so lifeless. He
had grown thinner. His gloomy eyes looked as if they were about to burst
tears any moment from now.
The incident last night wasn’t the first time Jayden attempted to
destroy the organization. The first time was when he was sent to receive
billions of dollars from a Chinese national in exchange for illegal drugs and
pirated paraphernalia. Nobody knew where he used the quarter of the
money, however, the rest were reported to be surrendered to the police.
Everyone in the gang didn’t know why the unpredictable Jayden did such
disobedience and betrayal to the group. Although extremely enraged by the
incident and oblivious about the boy’s motive, Boss Liam, of course, got
very disappointed about the loss of such amount, however, he did forgive
him. And because of what Jayden did, Boss Liam found reasons to give
him more important missions.
“Jayden!” Morgan called.
And, the young man turned his gaze to him gradually.

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Then, happy to see the reaction of the lad, Morgan cast off a piece
of a very brilliant red apple to him as he conveyed, “Eat this!”
The fruit was caught by his bare hands. He stared at it for awhile,
than, took a big bite.
Morgan was kind of relieved. He sighed and smiled. Jayden
continued to fill himself with the fruit when Morgan spoke, “Hey, Jayden!”
He added, “Today’s Quintin’s birthday. We got a little something
at home tonight. He told me he wants you to go.”
He did not answer.
“He’s really fond of you. Every morning, when he wakes up, he
asks me when you’re coming to see him… He seems to like you so much.”
Morgan appended.
At last, Jayden spoke, “Send him my regards. I’m not sure if I can
go.” With the tone of his voice, he sounded like he’s grounded.
Jayden raised his hand, with the apple grasped by it, and gaped at
the halfly eaten up fruit while twirling the latter. Then, he stretched his hand
and threw the apple to the bin near the tall aluminum lamp shade.
Alright! Jayden let out a satisfied sigh while staring at the trash
bin.
Then, Jayden lied down and enveloped himself with the blue satin-
sheet blanket.
Morgan stood from where he was seated, smirks, and then vacates
the room.
When the young lad perceived that he had the place all by himself,
he took off the blanket and emptily gazed at the ceiling. This is life without
life… I don’t know… I have no reasons to complain. I have everything…
But I’m not happy. I’m tired…

17
The streets of Chan Nam Market was apparently jammed with
shoppers of all kinds—mothers, who had probably just finished their
laundries—young girls, who were there to get first on the line for ticket sale
—naughty student boys, who cut class to play at video game bars—and so
much more.
The boulevards were pretty large, about twelve feet wide, with
stalls built along their edges. Various things were sold, from foods to
drinks, garden pots to kitchen wares, body accessories to car spare parts,
clothes to books, and herbal medicines to fresh ornamental teas. The whole
place was so noisy for vendors yell to attract costumers. And the smell of
different fragrances occluded the vicinity. The piquant aroma of roasted
beef and pork marinated in lemon juice made every passerby halt; heated
peanuts and popcorn were somewhat in-demand in the western street;
meanwhile, the seducing smell of roses at the southern boulevard surely
melted every woman’s heart.
Chang Nam Market had four gigantean streets that intersect each
other at its points. Looking like a perfect square in bird’s eye view, it was
divided into north, south, west and east. And at the central area was a
cemented ground where more kiosks were set for business. Moreover, at the
very middle of the market was a magnificent fountain, which top was a
beautifully molded embellishment of two fish encircling each other. It
sprouted water little by little.
Along the edges of the boulevards were fir trees and Indian trees
planted, specifically at the sides and behind the kiosks. There were also
yellow bells that create a wonderful ambiance to the place. Matching the hot
shimmering sun, the yellow bells stood out, with their bright color shining
like the healthy rays of a huge luminous star.
Jayden watched the joyful faces of the people. They all looked the
same—happy and smiling. He saw an elegant middle-aged lady buying a

18
complete set of porcelain cups from China. She looked so amazed by the
astonishing beauty of the ashen Chinese cups with minutiae at their bodies,
and for sure, she’s happy being the first one to purchase the set. Withal, the
seller looked fulfilled. She must be overjoyed for selling her wonderful
cups. Though there was a dinosauric gap between their financial and social
standing, the moment they exchanged greetings was like an enchanting tale
where in equality reigned. Even the robust police man, who was satiating
himself with dumplings, had time to rest and forget his duty. Why do they
all look so contented?
He continued to stride along the brownish-red clay street at the
eastern part of the market. The boulevards were cleanly swept off. He saw
tens of oranges piled up into pyramids and bright colored umbrellas hung at
metallic cylindrical posts. People were gaily conveying with each other,
which he wished he could also do.
Howbeit, he thought that Boss Liam was forbidding him from
going out of the house, which was uncertain, he decided of taking a walk.
All of a sudden, his attention was caught by a sloppy small boy,
who busily dug his small hands inside the large garbage bin. What is he
doing? Jayden confusedly stared at him.
Then, with his dirty hands, he revealed a red plastic bag with
unusual things inside. He opened the bag, and hurriedly and unhesitatingly
put the thing inside his mouth. Jayden got extremely startled. What on earth
is happening to him?
Little grains of rice fell from his fingers as he devoured the leftover
of some restaurant to his famished mouth. He ate like he hadn’t done it for
years. The little boy was doing any thing just to live, even exploring food
from dirty places. Then, as Jayden watched him, he began to realize
something: Probably, he has no mother… like me, because if he has, he

19
shouldn’t be suffering this way. A sudden gush of pity rises inside the
young lad’s mentality.
The unfortunate boy wore a light green shirt with bantam holes.
His knee had scratches and his feet had nothing to protect them.
Jayden went near him and the little boy noticed his presence as
soon as he comfortably positioned himself beside him. He gawked at the
tidy handsome guy, who lowered himself, with wonder. He saw the guy’s
queer stare to his uneaten rice on his filthy bare hands.
“Are you hungry? Do you want some?” He asked without a pause.
Then, Jayden turned his eyes to the poor boy, smiled and brushed
his hair. There was something in his smile that created an odd sensation to
his body, which he could not distinguish.
Shocked of his super friendly gestures, the small boy quickly
steered clear of him. He gave a nosy and prying gape.
“Where are your parents?” inquired Jayden.
The little boy, still wondering of the tall handsome guy’s dubious
actions towards him, directed his inquisitive stare to him. He had no idea
who the man is. He’s a complete stranger after all.
“Do you do this all the time?” Jayden was referring to the way the
little boy finds food.
The boy snobbishly removed his fixed stare, and continued
devouring the left-overs.
He reminds me of someone…
Unable to endure the poor boy’s unfortunate fate, he forcefully
knocked the red bag from the grip of the boy, which made the naïve boy
drop his jaw in bewilderment.
How dare he…?
He gave a furious look to Jayden.

20
“You shouldn’t be eating those kinds of food if you don’t want to
end up in bed.” He calmly stated, and powerfully seized the little boy’s tiny
hands.
“Come on, follow me!” commanded the cold Jayden in a
peremptory manner while dragging the jolted boy. Not minding the
happenings around—people marveling upon the high prices of products and
children crying for ice cream or chocolate candies—the little boy tried all
his force to get rid of his puissant clasp.
He wanted to shout for help but his voice wouldn’t come out from
his Jayden throat.
Is he kidnapping me?
No! Please! Somebody help me!!

Lavender perfume was sprayed all over the modern western


restaurant, which was assumed to be a good luck for the business. The
restaurant was visited only by those well-off people who could very well
afford to buy their costly carte du jour. The wallpaper was obviously taken
cared of because it was made from immoderate fabrics from the Latin
America. A young lad on his early twenties, climbed up a ladder to clean up
the dusts that raze the wall’s beauty. There were also around ten rectangular
small chandeliers with effulgent clear crystals that sparkled like costly
gems. Round tables with clothes that were manually sewn by American
convicts and that were sold in high prices made the place. It had a color of
royal red and sweet fuchsia with silver ancient Greek letters as designs. And
as they entered the place, a warm welcome was given by a thin-faced male
quadragenarian with thick mustache on his face. He looked kind and
friendly, the same as the aura of the place. The little boy was amazed by the
splendor the things he eyed brought to his benighted eyes. He never thought

21
that such a place exists. He grew up in a small, narrow and lifeless room,
with only his sick grandfather to look for him.
Jayden could see the admiration in the little boy’s eyes. He was
like that when he first entered the House of Yoon. Amazed. Entirely
shocked. Surprised. Admiring, Hopeful. His eyes twinkled as he critically
surveyed the too-good-to-be-true room.
“Welcome Mr. Lee!” playfully greeted the thin-faced man upon
opening the door for the customers.
Jayden bowed his head as a sign of respect and conveyed, “Table
for two, please.”
“Right away, Sir!”
The little boy was totally bowled over that he found it hard to bring
back his old self. He had fallen into speechlessness. He’s just so delighted.
Jayden looked at him and said, “So, what do you want to eat?” still frigidly.
The little boy, who’s in awe, just gave him a very satisfied stare, and
somewhat unbelieving.
The thin-faced man returned and directed them at the table near the
cake counter. The little boy slowly set himself on the chair, trying to be
careful not to break the glass utensils and the petite vase filled with daisies.
Jayden smiled as he watched him look so troubled about his actions. A
younger waiter, who replaced the older one, gave each of them leather
bound menus in which the delicacies were listed. Jayden had only eaten the
apple Morgan gave him, therefore, same as the little boy, he’s hungry.
He told the waiter while reading the list, “Just give me the usual
thing.”
“Yes, Sir! Without onions!” announced the waiter.
Then, Jayden looked to the little boy who seemed so discomposed
and rowelled. His eyes almost fell from where they are supposed to be. His

22
eyebrows reached his forehead, and wrinkles are visibly appearing just
above them.
Jayden marveled what’s happening to the little lad. His face
couldn’t be painted.
“Anything wrong?” he asked, sounding a little bit concerned.
“Little sir, can I get your order?” inquired the waiter.
The little boy wearily focused his perturbed gape to the handsome
young man as he covered his face, particularly only the lower part, leaving
only his eyes to be seen, with the leather-bound menu.
Jayden and the waiter got confused of the strange act of the little
boy.
“Hey!” Jayden called. “You don’t like the food here?” He sounded
furious.
The little boy moved his head sideward, denoting a ‘no’.
The two guys gave each other a stare.
All of a sudden, the young handsome lad perceived the absurd
transformation of the little boy’s gawk. It’s expression somewhat changed
—from troubled to saddened and embarrassed.
Jayden let out a sigh and utters, “Make it two.”
“Sir…?” questioned the baffled waiter.
He indifferently stared at the waiter and retorted, “I said, make my
order two!”
“Ah…” The waiter is alarmed. He sounded like he grasped what
Jayden had said. “Yes, Sir!” He added and left.
There was silence for a long time.
Jayden, who kept his insentient stare to the boy, had his mind
reminisce his past. Meanwhile, the little boy was quite uncomfortable of the
gape Jayden was giving; therefore, he behaved himself, with his hands

23
neatly positioned on top if his skinny legs and his face looking down the
floor.
After a long wait, Jayden spoke first and broke the stillness, “Do
you always do that thing?”
He lifted his face and confusedly asked, “The what?”
“You find your food in trashes. Is that a habit, a game or what?”
He added with his eyes directed to the boy.
“We’re poor, Sir. It’s the only way we could survive,” plainly and
bravely answered the little boy.
“Where’s your father?”
“He’s gone, Sir.”
He fell into silence for a few seconds, then persisted, “Your
mother, where is she?”
“I don’t know, Sir.”
His eyes widened. I share the same fate with him. Funny! But,
truly, what a small world it is!
“You don’t know? Why?”
”I just don’t know. She left me when I was a baby. My grandfather
looks for me.” He replied as he wondered why a stranger would throw him
those sorts of questions.
Not contented, Jayden questioned, “What does your grandfather do
for a living?”
“Nothing!”
Nothing?
“He’s sick, that’s why he can’t work. He’s too old, Sir.”
“Have you ever gone to school?”
“No…!”
“Is it because of money?”

24
The little boy nodded his head, then added, “The money I earn
everyday as a trash collector is enough for Grandpa’s medicine and food.
That’s why I just help myself with the left-overs I find during collection.”
At last, Jayden removed his gape from the boy’s own. He felt hurt
and sympathy in his heart.
I thought I’m strong but there are more people who are stronger
than me; and he’s one of them. He’s not afraid to suffer, unlike me. I can’t
even get out from the web I created.
Finally, the food arrived. They all smelled so good. The rice with
spring onions, tiny bits of sweet sausage and elongated cheese as toppings
reflected on the little boy’s staggered sight.
Oh! It looks so delicious!!
And the roasted thin pork just glistened like golden bars. Jayden,
without his knowledge, smiled as he watched the little boy’s unrivaled
excitement and happiness.
The red sauce on top of the steamed beef appealed into the
innocent boy’s hungry eyes. He could almost hear his weeping and wild
stomach rambled like crazy locusts. The dishes in front of him were so
special and expensive. It’s the first time he could eat such foods.
And there’s sweet crushed ice with fruits, milk, saccharine beans,
powdered chocolate and marshmallows as dessert.
Oh! Pat Bing Soo!
The more he gaped at the luxurious food, the more he felt hungry.
He felt his saliva falling down from the side of his mouth.
“Go on! Help yourself!” said Jayden.
Really?
Then, Jayden began touching his, which became the signal for the
little boy to eat his own.
Wow!!

25
His mouth filled with rice and beef, he continued to put more
string beans until he could no longer open it.
However, Jayden found it very funny.
“Hey! What’s your name?” asked he.
The little boy hurriedly swallowed the food, drank a bit of his
strawberry juice, and replied, “Philip Kang.”, without even looking at the
man who gave him the food he’s devouring.

26
Chapter 3

“This is where I live, Sir.” informed the overjoyed little boy as he


pointed at a teenty house with rusted roof and broken window panes. Its
door had a shattered window glass and pigmy bullet holes.
As Jayden scrutinized the whole place, he felt compassion for the
child. The little house was sandwiched by two bigger edifices—a bakeshop
and an abandoned apartment. The lamp posts were also old and inefficient
for its lights keep on turning on and off. The wirings entangle each other
and a broken sewage system doused grungy and sordid water in a paltry
aqueduct. The handsome young lad thought, “How could he survive living
in this kind of place?”
The little boy’s hands were heaped with first-class shopping bags.
After treating the boy with a meal, Jayden brought him at a shopping mall
outside Chan Nam Market. With the little boy’s typical awed and
flabbergasted reactions, he timidly chose clothes for himself. Jayden did not
only buy him new shirts and pants, shoes, and groceries but he also bought
a little something for the boy’s grandpa.
Philip told him with an unparalleled smile on his face, “Sir, thank
you for your kindness. Don’t worry, I’ll pay you as soon.”
27
Jayden, right away, brushed the boy’s hair, smiled and responded,
“Take good care of your grandfather.”
Philip briskly nodded his head.
“Thank you again, Sir.”
“You’re welcome.”
And the little boy tried to wave his right hand for goodbye and
hurried inside his wretched house.

It’s an hour after the sun had set and the roads were dimmed with
darkness with only few lamp posts gave the lanes enough glow.
Inside a ‘not-so-large, not-so-small’ house in a wealthy subdivision
were three happy people celebrating a birthday. One of them was Morgan,
and probably the beautiful woman at his side was his wife, and the cute
seven-year old boy was his son, Quintin.
On top of a round table was a two layered circular cake with
cookies and vanilla as designs. His wife also prepared kimchi, fish fillet,
sweet and sour vegetables with asparagus and the birthday boy’s favorite
dessert: his mom’s homemade coffee blanche ice-cream. There were
colored ribbons festooned on the walls and hung on the ceiling, and various
shapes of balloons float on air with candies tied at the end of their strings.
Quintin studied at a Pre-school while his mother looked for him.
The boy had no idea about his dad’s living. He only knew that Morgan
worked in a large corporation.
The big dinning room was filled with the melodious happy-
birthday song when the door bell rang.
Morgan went to the door to see who’s outside.
As he opened the door, he was surprised to see a very familiar
handsome face of a close friend.
“Jayden?”

28
Jayden gave a smile and said, “You didn’t tell me what time to
go.”
You smart boy!
Morgan beamed.
“Come inside!” He merrily opened the door wide. He was not
expecting the young lad to come because of what he said a while ago, and
now he’s standing on his door path, lively and smiling. Morgan also
discerned Jayden’s strange aura.
What has happened to this young man?
Jayden entered the house when Quintin called for his name and
thrust his little body to the handsome figure near the door.
“Hyung!” He happily cried.
Jayden warmly hugged the boy and handed over his present.
“Thank You!” said the gleeful Quintin as he received a large box
wonderfully wrapped with blue glossy paper decorated with white and light
azure stripes.
Continued Quintin, “Hyung, Dad told me you’re not coming.”
Jayden smiled and replied, “Really?” haughtily. He looked at the
happy Morgan, then added, “He forgot to tell me what time to go, and
besides, I didn’t say I’m not coming.”
Morgan spoke in a laughing manner, “Yeah! You said you’re not
sure if you can go, right?”
“You should have handed me out an invitation, with proper time.”
Jayden joked around.
“I really thought you’re not coming.” sadly uttered the cute little
boy in pink bow tie and red party hat on his round chubby head. And he,
once again, tightly hugged Jayden around his neck.
Then, Morgan’s wife arrived with a bowl of chicken salad on her
hands and called them for the resuming of the celebration. Quintin firstly

29
and personally prepared Jayden’s food. He picked out a lot of fish fillet that
almost cover one-half of the plate, spicy-bean fried rice and a pinch of
potatoes from the dish: sweat and sour vegetables with asparagus. Anyhow,
Jayden gladly accepted it.
“Dad said you love potatoes…” He gave a very wide smile.
Jayden nodded, then tapped the boy’s head.
Morgan, who was sitting on the couch opposite to the handsome
young lad, beamed.
“Thank you, Quintin.”
Morgan complained, “Hey, Quintin, where’s Dad’s?”
The boy just gave a snobbish look, then quickly went to the
dinning table to eat his part, which his mom prepared.
Jayden and Morgan were left alone in the magnificent living room
filled with fresh flowers like roses, tulips, sunflowers, and many more. Lily,
his wife, loved flowers so much, that was why she liked to jam her place
with them. The two men had just finished eating their food, and now,
they’re little by little getting drunk.
“Jayden,” Morgan spoke, as he poured the young lad’s second
glass, “tell me, what happened to you?”
“Huh?”
“You know what I mean.”
Jayden took a short sip and clearly answered, “I just realized
something.” He’s not that drunk yet, however.
“Ok… What is it?”
Then, the young lad suddenly sounded serious, “That there are
people in this world who suffer so much. It’s not because they wanted it but
because they have no choice except to undergo those pains and hardships…
Hyung, if it wasn’t because of you and Liam, I would have probably be one
of them—being left by mothers, wandering around the dark streets, living in

30
small quenched houses, illiterate, sickly, and hopeless. But, I just found out
that there’s nothing to be ashamed of being one of them.”
Morgan fell into shock. He felt that this conversation would likely
lead into no fruition.
“What do you mean?”
Persisted Jayden, “Compared to a person who has everything: a
house, cars, money, education and a bright future; they are a whole lot
stronger than lucky people.”
“Jayden—”He cut.
Not letting the man to interrupt, Jayden swiftly added, “For all
these years, Hyung, I thought I’m strong. But…there are more who are
stronger than me. They are these people who have nothing; however, they
face life’s hardest challenges like a piece of cake. They can endure all pains.
How do they do it?”
His voice quavered and his beautiful eyes began to shimmer with
tears.
“What do they have that I don’t?”
“Jayden—”
“All I wanted is to be strong, but why do I feel so weak? Liam said
that I have become the person you wanted me to be… But I don’t know
who I am… He said strong people don’t cry, but why am I crying? Is it
because I’m not? Hyung, I don’t understand myself.” He’s really crying.
The last time he did this, as far as he could remember, was when his mother
left him. And as he grew, he never shed even a single tear.
He continued as he tried to hide his tears, “I have everything but
I’m not contented… Hyung, what’s wrong with me?”
Morgan let out a sigh, and moved to the opposite couch. He sat
beside the baffled Jayden and comforted him with his large bulky hands.
He told him, “Jayden, let me ask you; what do you want to do?”

31
“What do you mean, Hyung?”
“Are you happy being with us? Do we satisfy you?” He sincerely
inquired.
Jayden gazed at the large candid man.
“Are you tired of doing the same things all over again? Do you
wish to try something new?”
Out of the blue, Jayden fell into wordlessness. He did not know
how to answer Morgan. This was not what he wanted to happen. That was
not what he wanted to imply, nevertheless he felt like Morgan hit the bull’s
eye. But, he’s uncertain. He’s happy being with those people, particularly
with him, but why did he think that Morgan was quite right?
“Jayden, you’re a bright kid. I know you can figure it out all by
yourself, without anybody’s help,” he stated. “You just have to be brave,
right? Speak what is in your mind and heart. Don’t be a prisoner of your
own fate or other people’s.”
“Hyung, I don’t understand you…”
He patted his shoulder and gave a solemn gentle smile, and
conveyed, “Jayden Lee, finally, you’ve matured!” He laughed, “It took me
fourteen years to make you a full-blown man, and at last, you’re no longer
puerile… Oh, thank you, God!”
“Hyung?” he’s surprised.
What is he talking about? I’ve always been mature…
“You know what, I’m happy to see you thinking deep and
weighing things first before acting.”
What?
And he beat his back with a hilarious laugh.
Ouch!
“I never thought you can say those things,” he beamed.
Hyung? I don’t understand you.

32
Honestly, Jayden found Morgan tonight so odd. Then, Quintin
came rushing to the living room with his new toy airplane on mid-air.
He called for Jayden, “Hyung!!”
Quickly, the handsome lad wiped his tears from his face, and gave
a smile.
“The airplane is amazing! Thank you so much! … You know what,
I want to become a pilot now.” He excitedly enunciated.
Lily, Morgan’s wife, hooted.
Morgan jokingly affirmed, “I thought you want to be like Dad?”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
They all chortled.
“That fast?” questioned Morgan.
He hastily nodded his round head.
“Teacher said I can become whatever I want, if I believe in
myself… Mom, I believe in myself, right?” Quintin philosophically
interrogated.
Lily tittered conservatively.
“Hyung, do you believe in yourself?”
Surprised, Jayden turned his gaze to the somehow aghast Morgan.
This son of mine is so loquacious. Then, the man cracked a smile.
Thus, Jayden just nodded his head, with a forced grin.
Then, Morgan changed the subject.
“Quintin, have your teachers arrived?” He questioned as he
perceived the young lad’s discomfiture.
“Morgan,” Lily responded, “they had just left.”
“Oh!”
“But Miss Chae didn’t come,” he sadly said.
“Who’s Miss Chae?” Morgan questioned.
“She’s his music teacher.” Lily replied.

33
And Quintin broke in, “And she’s the greatest teacher in the whole
world!”
Then, Jayden’s phone rang.
Morgan spoke, “He’s calling you.” He’s referring to Liam Yoon.
Jayden stood as he switched off his phone.
“Are you leaving?”
The young lad nodded.
“When are you coming back?”
“Quintin,” Morgan told his demanding son, “Hyung is a busy
man…”
Nevertheless, Jayden bended his knees and pressed the little boy’s
chubby cheeks and said, “I’ll find time. I promise.” Quintin smiled.
“Hey Jayden , you’re spoiling my son!” teased Morgan
Jayden beamed, then wove his hand and left the house.

It’s past eight on his watch yet he had no interest of going home.
He wanted to spend the rest of the night doing other things, and not minding
what’s in-stored for him the next day.
He left his car at Morgan’s place. He didn’t feel like driving
tonight. He just wanted to breathe some fresh air and take advantage of the
time being free, for tomorrow will surely be another chapter of his untold
life.
The city streets were all lit with brightness. He could see people
busily doing their stuffs. Shops were filled with customers, especially the
food chains.
Thus, he decided to find a place where he could be alone—a place
where he could reflect and be himself even just for tonight.
He strode the boulevards of Geu Sam Park, a popular leisure place
for families and lovers. It was said that there hid a romantic tale behind the

34
historical past of the place, but the park, fortunately, was empty. Despite of
it emptiness, the lights kept the place warm and inviting to the eyes.
Jayden slowly entered the gates. On his astonishment, the gates
were left unlocked.
It’s open… He wondered.
The security doesn’t typically leave this place unattained. But why
is it… opened?
Conversely, to avoid troubles in his mind, he just entered the
magnificent place and probably to enjoy the whole night lying on the soft
green field, watch the stars glitter and disappear as daylight comes into
place, and listen to the silence of serenity.
The park had few trees but they were all critically trimmed into
perfection. The lamp posts, like the ones in Morgan’s subdivision, were
fantastically matching the brilliance of the moon. They stood in between the
trees, and polished wooden benches were put at the edges of the boulevards.
But, the vast green field occupied most of Geu Sam’s area. It was divided
by the widest cemented road in the place; however, an old spacious bridge
made from mud clay connected the fields to each other. Under the bridge
was a thoroughfare where no light could infiltrate. It exactly looked like an
underground tunnel where subways and buses passed.
He knew of this place a long time ago, but he just could not freely
go because of certain responsibilities. But now, he had all night to explore
the wonderful Geu Sam. He hurried to the thoroughfare.
This place hasn’t changed.
It was what he’s looking for—a place where he could be hidden
and invisible—a place where he could disappear together with darkness and
just shows off when the sun rises.

35
Just as he reached the strange yet spectacular place under the so-
called lovers’ bridge, he heard a bizarre cry. It’s echoing through the thick
bricks of the semi-circle top, and it really sounded so mournful and down.
Nevertheless, there wasn’t enough light that would penetrate into
the tunnel; hence he couldn’t see things clearly, but he was hearing it—the
quaint cry.
It’s coming from that corner!
He drew nearer the right side of the thoroughfare, and as he did it,
the cry got louder and clearer.
It’s no ordinary cry. It’s not loud. It’s a silent weep but there was
pain in it. Probably, the beholder of those tears were in great hurt. He could
hear the cry being forced to subdue, but the more this person deprived from
letting it out, the more he would feel hurt.
The cry was gentle and it didn’t sound that it came from a boy.
It’s a girl’s cry!
He tiptoed towards the murky corner with his eyes wide open.
He wanted to speak, but he couldn’t even open his mouth.
He felt his heart thumping at the state of curiosity and edginess. He
felt like he had forgotten his own burdens and just freely thought of the
queer cry he was hearing.
Everything was quiet except the sound of the gentle drops of water
from the bridge and the obvious thuds of his careful steps. Then, a sudden
mild strike of light pierced inside and revealed a lady soulfully encircling
herself with her arms and her face covered by her long black hair. She’s
crying…painfully. He could feel it even though he couldn’t see her face.
Then, he saw her look at him. Perhaps she heard my footsteps and
was startled.
She gasped as she revealed her ivory-pale face, but not all. Her
eyes were covered by her hair.

36
She looked astoundingly amazed.
“I…” He suddenly stuttered.
Afterwards, he just saw her dash off so rapidly.
She’s running away.
He looked outside the thoroughfare, where there were lamp posts,
and he saw her running away from him.
She must be very scared but I didn’t mean to frighten her.
Not so sooner, he realized that he’s not alone, that there were
people in this world who share the same burden with him, that perhaps the
girl he had just seen had greater and harder pain than him, and all she did to
withdraw the ache was to hide herself in a dark place and wait for darkness
and time to engulf her.
He wondered what could be bothering the lady. Her cry wasn’t the
usual lament or show of distress and grief, it’s very sad.
But, wait! Why am I troubling myself with other people’s
problems? I have my own, so I should think of myself first. Besides, who am
I to worry about her?
He stayed at the thoroughfare the whole night. He stared at the
bright stars above the dim sky, unconsciously thinking of the strange girl
until he fell asleep.

Chapter 4
37
Laughter. Sweet and innocent. The smell of freshly descended
sweat. Sour yet it made him remember of his youthful years. As he opened
his tired eyes, he caught the sight of happy and smiling faces almost kissing
his own. He astoundingly stood to his feet. Then, they began laughing
again.
Nevertheless, he just smiled.
I had fallen asleep.
The little boys, who were playing at the park, had seen Jayden
sleeping under the bridge, and they started making a laugh out of him. They
might be wondering what on earth a rich guy was doing, specifically
sleeping, under an old bridge.
Then, Jayden timidly and embarrassingly left the place.
“Is he a beggar?” asked a little boy who had one front tooth
missing.
Another boy in orange jacket shrugged his shoulders and replied,
“Don’t think so.”
“Yeah!” continued the little boy with glasses, “He has expensive
clothes, and he does look rich.”
Then, the little boy whose front tooth is missing added, “And his
watch is sure wonderful.” as he raised his small right hand with Jayden’s
pure glistening silver watch clasped by it.
“Trevor! You stole it?” questioned the other boy in orange jacket
rather surprisingly.
“Why did you do it?”
“I didn’t!”

38
“You stole it!”
“The nuns will surely get furious of you.” uttered the boy with
glasses.
Trevor’s lips shivered because of fear.
“No! I took it because it looks nice, but I have no intention of
stealing it.” Trevor explained.
Brennan, the boy with thick eye glasses, suggested, “Let’s tell this
thing to Teacher Leanne.”
Then, they all agreed.

“Where were you last night?” inquired Boss Liam after he got
inside the library. Jayden held in his hands a leather bound book with
bronze linings about ancient Korean legendary folktales. He had glasses on
his eyes with thick black borders, but he just used them as part of his
fashion because he had no eye complications. He wore a gray long-sleeve
sweater, and he looked handsome and intelligent in it.
He did not get astonished by Boss Liam’s fiery and furious
physique as he mightily appeared in front of him.
“I went somewhere,” he coldly answered.
“Where?”
“Somewhere,” philosophically replied he.
Boss Liam sat on the soft silky textured sofa, seriously eyed
Jayden who “busily” read his book, and gave an audacious smile. He, then,
conveyed to the latter, “You have something tonight.”
All of a sudden, Jayden froze to shock..
Again?
His eyes widened and he halted from reading.
“Here!” Boss Liam threw a red plastic envelope.
What’s this?

39
Jayden gazed at the picture with skepticism and shock.
Maybe he wants me to…
“Shoot that man!!”
He immediately became so tensed. His forehead felt hot and his
body too. He felt very unusual.
He scanned all the details written on the research.
I can’t do this! He told himself.
His eyes were full of disbelief, and his hands were shaking because
of fear.
I can’t kill a man! I’m not a murderer.
“Jayden, is there a problem?” The ferocious man inquired nosily.
Liam Yoon directed his anxious gawk to the young man. He
obviously knew how frightened the young lad was.
“I’m not doing this!” The young lad finally firmly stated however
he sounded as if he’s not sure of what he had just said.
Liam stared at him inquisitively. He knew that this was going to
happen.
“But why?” calmly countered Liam.
“I don’t kill,” said he, still not looking into the older man’s flaming
gawk.
“But it’s part of your job—our job.” However, Liam managed to
compose himself.
“I don’t remember killing as part of your business.” Jayden smartly
said.
Liam was now surprised.
This guy sure has a sharp tongue!
“My business?” he made a scornful grin, “It’ll be yours, young
man, in just a short span of time.”

40
Jayden fell into stillness. He couldn’t lay eyes on the wise sturdy
man.
“Come on! You always do that. You hit people. Hitting is killing.
What’s the difference? … You’re depriving people their chance to live.” He
added, “What do you call that?”
I can’t…
I can’t kill people…
I don’t kill people…
He unintentionally dropped his book after hearing what Liam had
said. He could hardly breathe. His sweat torrentially descended from his
forehead down to his neck. He could also feel his back sweating. It felt
different. There’s too much pressure he couldn’t contain. This thing he’s
feeling was absurd. He had not felt it before. Usually, whatever Boss Liam
told him, he right away obeyed it. However, why didn’t he like to do it
now? What’s happening to him?
“Come on, Jayden! Prove to me that you deserve this entire clan.
Prove to me that you’re fit to rule the business.” He clearly pronounced
every word he uttered, hoping to convince the perplexed Jayden. “It’s just
for one night. All you have to do is shoot that man directly to his forehead,
and he’s dead! We win!”
No! I can’t do it!
He’s confused. He didn’t know what to do or what to think. He
clearly knew that killing is unforgivable and it’s a mortal sin, yet, why does
he sound like it’s just an ordinary thing? That it could be done by everyone
easily?
Morgan?
He searched for his friend’s benign face in the room, but he
couldn’t find him.
He looked like he’s surrendering.

41
“Jayden Lee, you’re strong. You can do this!” the man encouraged
with a mix of trust.
At last, as he gained courage and as he could no longer suppress
the puzzlement, he threw away the envelope and proclaimed steadfastly,
“I’m not doing it!!”
Liam was awfully dumbfounded.
What did he say?
Did he just disobey me?
He toppled into speechlessness.
“What??!!!” He wrathfully interrogated.
“I said,” Jayden stood from where he was sitting, bravely lifted his
head and faced the orey-eyed man with dispute, “I will not do it, whether
you like it or not.”
Liam went nearer the young lad, and confronted him with courage,
boldness, incredulity and fury. He goggled like he’s about to explode.
In spite of that, Liam Yoon handled to give a congenial yet
suspicious smirk, and gently talked to Jayden, who doubted about the
eccentric treatment of the man, “Jayden Lee, do you know who you are?”
Jayden tried to get rid of the fear he felt. He’s trying to avoid it by
giving the same intensity of heated stares.
“You are this!” he gesticulated, “You are this small! You know
what, any time I can bring you out of life. I can destroy you.”
I know… He told himself.
“And I will not hesitate to do it, young man. I will shoot you with
my own gun and my own hands.”
Notwithstanding, Jayden held unto his legs, unwavering; although
deep inside he’s afraid. He kept his serious gape to the enraged old man
without faltering.

42
Liam grinned and conveyed while blowing his cigar and smoke
twirls around his face, “But, I think it’ll be very hard. It’s not easy to hurt
people whom you’ve treated like your own…. I think of you as my son.
That’s why I believe in you so much. But if fate will decide, then I will
certainly do it.”
He persisted, “Don’t challenge me, young guy.”
Then Liam called for Thomas, House of Yoon’s biggest man, and
Thomas put on top of the table a black rectangular case.
“You’ll be needing this,” said Boss Liam as he stood up. He
sounded like nothing terrible happened. “Operation starts at seven. Just read
the details. If you need back-ups, you can have Morgan or Thomas.” And
he vacated the library, leaving the dumbfounded Jayden, who emptily
glanced at the familiar case.
He felt his hands hot and wet.
I don’t want to do it.

Inside a very tumultuous classroom, joyful children play. They’re


all little boys of the same age. There was this large black board on the wall
and circular clock ticking above it. There were about thirteen green small
chairs with green little tables each. A red wide floor mat was spread through
the asphalted floor. On the pinkish walls were educational posters, baby
pictures and the children’s various artworks. And on the yellowish ceiling
was a humungous fan, which blades were made of rattan from the
Philippines and hardwood from Malaysia.
At the center of the room was a striking black piano and some of
the little children were noisily and mischievously playing on it, when the
doors opened.
A young beautiful lady entered the room, and she bore a sunny
smile on her lips. She went to the center and told the little boys on the piano

43
to return to their chairs. And the little boys, who found her so amiable,
obediently followed her order.
Then, after a few seconds of just standing and observing, the room
seemed to be so calm. The children were all settled on their proper seats,
brightly smiling to their very beautiful teacher.
Together, they said, “Good morning, Teacher Leanne. We’re so
glad to see you. God bless you.”
She, then, shyly smiled.
“Take your seats,” she plainly told them.
She’s very young, perhaps about twenty.
Afterwards, Logan, the little boy in orange jacket, raised his right
hand on air. He stood up looking so brave, and told her, “Teacher Leanne,
Trevor has something to tell you.”
The beautiful young lady, Leanne, got curious. She nosily turned
her gaze to the trembling Trevor.
The little boy slowly stood up with his hands inside his pocket. She
saw how bothered he was. Therefore, she gently asked him, “Trevor, what
do you want to tell me?”
Trevor set his frightened stare to the kind teacher.
“I committed a crime,” his voice wavered.
What?!?
The other boys looked up to him. It’s like they were telling him to
do the right thing. Very afraid of the consequences, Trevor walked to
Teacher Leanne’s direction.
Meanwhile, Leanne had no idea of what’s happening.
Then, when he arrived in front of her, he took out from his pocket
the expensive glistening silver watch he took from the man under the
bridge. He lowered his face after seeing his teacher’s face turn sour.
What is this all about?

44
Still ignorant about the incident, Leanne took the watch and
examined it.
“I took it from a sleeping man a while ago?”
Huh?! Her eyes grew large. She’s entirely taken a back.
How could a seven year old do something like stealing?
She looked devastated and unbelieving, her mouth wide open.
Then, he quickly explained, “But I did not steal it was just a joke.
As a matter of fact, I’m planning of giving it back, Teacher.”
“Trevor,” Finally, she spoke after the surprising confession of the
little boy, “Can you please slow down?...”
Trevor took in a big deep breath.
“Alright, tell me what happened calmly,” she requested as she
places the watch on top of the piano.
“Teacher Leanne, this is how it went. Logan, Brennan and I were
playing at the thoroughfare in the park this morning. Sister Janette and the
others were outside lining for ice cream and cotton candies while some of
us sneaked into the place. The three of us found this guy. He was sleeping
under the bridge. We thought he’s funny… I mean he doesn’t look poor but
he sleeps under the bridge. So, we made fun of him. Then, I saw in his wrist
the watch. It looks so wonderful, so I took it. But I’m not keeping it forever.
I will be returning it, I promise,” he explained.
After that, Brennan conversed formally, “Really, Teacher, the man
is so weird. Do rich people nowadays sleep under a bridge?”
Leanne coyly smiled. She gave them a charming stare.
These kids…
“He’s really odd!”
“Maybe he’s not really rich.”
Then, hearsays began to fill the room.
“Yeah! You’re right!”

45
“Maybe he’s a robber!”
“A robber?”
The little boys puffed. They all looked so terrified.
“Yeah! He’s really poor, so he robbed out a jewelry shop.”
“Then, he sold some of them and bought expensive clothes.”
“And because he’s poor, he has no home, so he slept under the
bridge.”
“That could be!”
“Trevor, you caught a thief!”
“Really?” Trevor was stunned.
“He could be very dangerous!”
“Good thing he did not shoot you with his gun.”
“Did he have one? Did you see it, in his pocket?”
Leanne watched her little kids with complete pleasure and
exuberance.
They all look so childish!
“Teacher, we should contact the cops!”
Leanne smiled and she walked towards Trevor, who had nothing in
mind but the young handsome man whom they thought as a criminal.
She touched the little boy’s head and said, “Trevor, I would like to
keep this.” She’s referring to the watch she’s holding. The little boy
startlingly glanced at her.
“Teacher will find the owner for you. Don’t worry; I’m sure the
man who owns this will not harm you if he finds out about this. Ok?” she
said.
Ok…
“And,” She persisted as she looked to the other boys, “do not judge
people right away. We do not really know what happened. We just could

46
not say that he’s a thief. Maybe he ran away from home or he was involved
in a fight.”
“How did you know, Teacher Leanne?”
“Well, I don’t really know. Let’s say, it’s an assumption… and I
guess, you’ve learned something new today.”
And the little boys behaved themselves as they tried to
comprehend what Teacher Leanne said.
“Alright!” She sat at the couch beside the piano and started with a
‘C’. “Let’s begin now!”

After their enjoyable and noisy class, it was Sister Marilyn’s turn.
She would be having her Math class with the little boys. Teacher Leanne
bade farewell to those lovable children when a round plump boy ran to her
and seized her light cerulean skirt.
“Quintin?”
The little boy gave a cheerless face, and Teacher Leanne thought
she knew why. She stooped down, gently pressed his cute chubby cheeks,
and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t go last night, Quintin.”
Still, the boy seemed gloomy.
Thus, she embraced him with a very lovely smile on her cherry-
colored lips, and whispered to the little boy’s little ears, “Belated Happy
Birthday!”
Fast as a vapor, his melancholic air was altered into a blissful one
—his eyes sparkling with delight and contentment. Then, he handed over a
clean white box covered with gorgeous pink ribbons.
Leanne got it from his grasp and wondered what it was for.
“You did not come last night, that’s why I made sure I could give
you this.” He shyly said with his cheeks so red. After blushing for quite a
time, he kissed his teacher’s rosy cheeks.

47
For the moment, the young beautiful Leanne appreciated the little
boy’s effort. She opened the petite box and was surprised to see a superbly
sliced strawberry shortcake.
“I made that since you love strawberries… …but Mom helped me
too.” He smirked.
“Oh, thank you so much, Quintin.” She once again hugged the
little lad, and then left the room.

Chapter 5

48
With an ashen basket on her arms full of fresh vegetables newly
bought from the market, a pretty young lass entered the old gates of a
convent. There was an ample lane that led to the large arch-shaped wooden
door of the place. There were four giant buttresses in which the larger one at
the middle had an ancient bronze bell. Along the sides of the lane were
maple trees with yellow-orange leaves little by little falling down from their
brawny branches. The ground was somewhat covered with those autumn
leaves that were not swept by the nuns.
But the young pretty lass did not enter the main door but the petite
maize-colored one at the back of the church. There was a smaller building
at the rear of the old gigantic church, and that was where the nuns live—
sleep—eat—breathe—and pray. And as she set foot in the mentioned
edifice, she greeted all the adorable benevolent ladies in dark long robes she
met up with, who seemed to be so busy sweeping the furnished floor,
clearing away the cobwebs on high places, washing the windows and
watering the plants inside. A couloir, wide and grotesque, connected the
first portal to another doorway that could perhaps be the entranceway to the
receiving room; moreover, there were five more doors alongside—three on
the right and two on the left, where in a wooden staircase is on the middle.
The place was so humbling because everything in it was simple yet pleasing
to the eyes. The drapes were fabricated with white linen cloth and pallid
silky laces, and the frames were photographs of various saints and patrons.
There was, too, a lengthy felt-cotton runner lay on the sheer wooden floor.
At the end of the corridor was a high round table with a jar of pink
daisies. There was also an ivory effigy of a beautiful lady with flowers on
her arms, and at its foot was a golden epitaph where in royal letters were
engraved. It read: St. Therese of Lisiuex.

49
“Oh, Leanne, you’re here!” excitedly exclaimed a round faced lady
with rectangular spectacles as she saw Leanne in the convent. She
continued, “Where were you last night? We thought you’ll be reading your
daily journal?”
She sweetly smiled, “I’m sorry, Sister Charis… but I got some
troubles at home… I just couldn’t leave them. And I didn’t bother to call
because I knew you were all in the prayer room… I’m really sorry.”
“That’s alright! Have you bought the vegetables?” she continued,
“It’s your schedule right?”
She nodded. “Vanessa will be helping me.”
Then, the round nun smiled and left. Leanne went straight to the
right when a girl with a sunny yellow tiny hair band on her lumpy short
curly hair greeted her with a gloomy face.
“Why didn’t you call me last night? Don’t you know how grueling
it is for me to listen to all those long prayers without company?” She
grumbled as she helped Leanne with the loads. “I even thought of
surrendering… You know the only reason I stay here is because of you, so
don’t you leave me again!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Is that all you can say?” Vanessa demanded.
Then, the lass’ bright face all of a sudden turned blue. Vanessa
thought she knew the story behind her unpainted face.
“Tell me! Did something happen in that pre-school again?” she
plummeted the basket on the wooden rectangular table in the kitchen. At the
right of the door was the working place and at the left were the cupboards
and the cabins where the nuns store their food and supplies. Vanessa
persisted as she separated the beans and places them on a white container,
“Was there an enraged mother or father? Or did Principal Choi scold you
because you were absent yesterday?”

50
Leanne moved her head sideways.
Vanessa gave a snoopy stare. “Don’t tell me it’s your mother
again?”
She didn’t react.
“See! I’m right! What did she do right now?” asked she as she
plunged a grape into her mouth.
Leanne washed the pots. She seemed like she didn’t hear Vanessa.
“Leanne?”
She halted and breathed a deep sigh.
“Leanne?”
“Mama…”
Vanessa’s eyes grew large.
“Mama…”
“Leanne Chae?!” A voice from the door echoed in the room.
“Sister?”
Vanessa gave a frustrated and pissed off look.
“Mother Superior wants to see you.”

It was a not-so-large room filled with old eerie books bounded in


leather. There were also large windows which stained glasses were
festooned with images of St. Therese. Just before the biggest was Mother
Superior’s desk. She sat on her chair and she wore a very neat black robe
with a silver-beaded rosary which pendant was a tiny cross. She smirked
pleasantly.
“Sit sown, dear child.”
Leanne bowed her head and sat.
The old woman with rectangular spectacles drew herself near the
candid girl and smiled once more.

51
Leanne wondered why the prioress wanted to see her. The last time
she talked with her was when the first time she set foot in the convent. And
after that contact, she was never summoned, until now.
Finally, she inquired, “Mother Superior, why did you call for me?”
The old amiable woman smiled.
“Two years, I think, was not enough to know you, dear child. I
never thought of meeting you. I guess it was my fault.”
Huh? …
“I would like, if you would allow me, to ask you this very little
question.”
What is it?
“It’s simple, young girl. Why do you want to be here in the
convent?”
She fell into silence. She couldn’t look at the guiltless pair of eyes
of Sister Jasmine. She hadn’t prepared herself for this. Nobody had ever
asked her this kind of question—not even the other nuns or Vanessa or her
mother. She looked down and stared at her shoes.
“Isn’t the life outside more fun?”
She faltered.
“Ms. Leanne Chae…”
I don’t know… I think I just want it. I want to be like you—just
serving the Lord and praying all day.
“Leanne?”
She got back to her senses as she hears the nun’s awakening voice.
“Can you please tell me the reason?” Sister questioned softly.
“I… I haven’t really thought about that, Sister.”
“You came here without reason?”
“No! … That’s not what I mean.”
Sister Jasmine seriously gawked at her.

52
“I…” she searched her mind. “I… want to… Nuns seem like they
don’t care what happens outside the convent. They seem to have an
enjoyable and peaceful life inside. I want that kind of life. I don’t want to
think of selfishness or sorrow.”
With an honest smile on her lips, she told Leanne, “Thank you,
young lady, for being true. I’m looking forward to see more of you around
since you’re certain. Let’s just continue this chat next time.”
Leanne left the room silently. Outside the prioress’ office, Vanessa
was eavesdropping. Leanne didn’t understand what she felt. I’m supposed
to be happy…
“What’s with the face? What did she ask you?”
She moved her head implying a ‘no’.
“Liar!”
What am I really here for? I know I have reasons… The very first
moment I thought of becoming a nun was because of Mama. But why am I
doubting now? I was sure. I wanted this! I’ve waited for two years…
“Leanne?”
“Vanessa?” She uttered her name tenderly.
“Hm?” Vanessa was surprised of her tender response.
They were striding along the narrow corridor of the convent that
would lead them to the staircase.
“Why do you follow me here in the convent?”
“Huh?” Vanessa looked really dumbfounded.
“Why do you want to become a nun?”
“Leanne?”
Her voice trembled.
“Please answer me.”
Confused of the situation, Vanessa had no choice but answer the
troubled young lady beside her.

53
“Well, I never thought of this until you gave me the idea.
Basically, the reason is I don’t want my parents making decisions for me…
I really have no plan of becoming one, Leanne.” She continued, “I just want
them to know how far I could go without them and I want to make them
realize that I am not a child anymore. I can think all by myself now.”
“So this is pretention after all?” questioned Leanne.
Vanessa nodded.
“But why do you pursue even though…”
Vanessa answered, “Simple! Because they never looked for me.
Obviously, they still don’t feel my sincerity. I sometimes think I’m not part
of the family. Perhaps, they aren’t threatened. I guess I have to stay here for
a bit longer until Dad picks me up.”
Scapegoat? Maybe I feel the same way as Vanessa… Maybe this
thing serves as a scapegoat only… for hiding all the flaws of me…
“And one more reason! I can’t go back home until you return to
your real self.”
Leanne dropped into silence.
“You really don’t want to become a nun, do you?”
“Vanessa…”
“I can’t leave you here. I’ll stay no matter how long. I’ll wait for
the real you to come back.” She faced Leanne, who appeared so
downtrodden. “How could a teacher despise her job just to get rid of
reality?… Leanne, the convent is not a place of refuge for you to this kind
of situation… Are you ready to give up freedom? Imagine your life. Don’t
you want to have your own family?”
“Vanessa…”
“Leanne… I don’t really think you have the passion. Alright! You
maybe a better person than me… You maybe are like an angel…
Everybody finds you perfect, but this is not what you want. You have a

54
dream! You told me you want to have children and build a house on top of a
hill. Isn’t that lovely?”
Leanne took away her gaze from Vanessa’s fiery ones.
“Don’t ruin them because of shallow reasons. Show your mom
you’re different from her—that you could be someone not like her.”
Finally, she spoke, “You don’t understand. This… this is my
dream.” lowly.
Vanessa smirked.

Impatiently waiting inside the humungous glass building, Morgan


and the guys phoned Jayden several times but the lad never answered. The
target was happily interacting with the guests. Jayden was an hour late
already and with another hour yet to pass he would never be able to
accomplish the task. The gangsters were spread throughout the hall with
their arms hidden inside their jackets. They couldn’t just shoot the man.
Jayden must do it but where is he?

The young lad who was supposed to be on a mission was once


again hiding under the bridge at Geu Sam. He didn’t want to do it yet he
had to do it. He glared at his phone, which was constantly blinking. He had
neglected the guys’ calls since the previous hours.
The thoroughfare was dark as it used to be, however, the other end
was partly stroked by the light the lamp post near the bridge emits. To
prevent himself from doing the crime, he amused himself by watching the
lamp flickered like the bulk of a firefly when suddenly he remembered the
girl who was there the other night.
He looked around to check if she is there. To his disappointment
there wasn’t even a single shadow of the woman. He weirdly felt a bit of
frustration. He couldn’t understand why but he was expecting to see her.

55
Still hoping to catch a glimpse of the strange girl, he kept on looking to both
ends. It’s dark at his place whereas the opposite edge was reflected with a
little amount of radiance. His phone was incessantly ringing.
They can’t make me say ‘yes’. Never!
All of a sudden the girl was erased from his thoughts and Morgan
replaced her. Jayden wondered what the other guys were doing now.
Have they done the mission? Have they shot the poor man? I hope
Morgan won’t do it…
He leaned his head against the dry mud clay wall of the bridge and
dramatically closed his eyes. He thought of the possibilities that would
happen if he did join the group.
He saw himself standing at the middle of the atrium with classy
people around dealing with business and ego. He dressed a waiter’s clothes
and hid the gun inside his inner shirt. He brought along with him a silver
tray of drinks and sweet biscuits. Strolling only at the very center and
waiting for Morgan’s hint, Jayden felt his nerves striking every corner of his
body. He, from time to time, glanced at the other guys who secretly spied
the ill-fated target. And at long last, his phone rang, and he picked it up and
answered. It was Morgan
Then, he gradually raised his hand with the gun from his inner shirt
and directed it towards the innocent man.
Bang!
The crowd was in chaos. Everybody did not know what to do.
Everything seemed to happen so fast and unclear. The poor man’s body was
unconsciously lying with royal red covering his elegant white suit. It was a
disastrous and scandalous moment.
Meanwhile, the young lad looked petrified with disbelief and fear.
He couldn’t believe he made it. He precariously stared at the gun like he
was ready to evaporate any minute now. He heard a police car’s siren.

56
Nobody saw me! He told himself. He looked around and saw
everyone running away, even Morgan and the others.
Where are they going? Are they leaving me? Morgan!
He hurriedly concealed the gun away and ran off the atrium when
he accidentally faced a cop. The policeman positioned the gun right in front
of the young lad’s nose. He could feel his legs falling apart. His heart
thudded like thunder.
This is the end!!
Jayden quickly opened his eyes as he could no longer contain the
content of his dream. It was worse than he could think of. He felt his
forehead sweating and hot. The lights were still flickering and illumining
the other end of the thoroughfare. His phone stopped blinking. It had just
lost power.
The dream… the dream made him so weary. His mind all of a
sudden went empty. He couldn’t imagine himself doing it. As he
continuously searched for air, he, by accident, caught a glimpse of the
familiar figure outside the light.
It’s the young lady last night.
Was she there all this time? Had she seen me?
His eyes widened as he awesomely gazed at her on the swing. He
out of the blue forgot about his dream. Though he couldn’t see her face—
because she’s facing the other way around, he was certain that this girl was
the very girl last time. He saw her leaning the side of her head against the
gray chains of the swing and sluggishly swayed the swing back and forth.
He went up to his feet and stepped out of the place under the old bridge, but
before he could reach the lamp post, which was almost seven meters away
the swing, the strange girl stood, sighed and vacated the park. All Jayden
could do was to watch her move her way out of the gate and vanish from his
sight.

57
He returned home tired and upset. He didn’t even bother answer
the queries of his fellow gangsters.
“Where were you last night?”
“We called you a million times. How come you didn’t mind
answering the phone calls?”
“We waited for you for hours? Where’s the man in you, Jayden
Lee?!”
Despite all the unlikable queries, Jayden managed to keep his
calm. He walked straight to his room and locks himself there.

Chapter 6

58
“Leanne?!!!” shouted a horrid-looking woman in dirty white robe
who had just came from the bath room and taken a nice warm wash.
A lovely young lady in pony tail with face as sunny as an angel
appeared from the kitchen with spatula and frying pan on both hands,
“Mama?”
“Where’s my blue skirt? … Were you using it? I told you not to do
so!” she angrily stated.
“But Mama,” Leanne explained, “I don’t use things that aren’t
mine.”
“Liar! As far as I know, you wanted it. Leanne Chae, I don’t like
thieves at my house! Come on, give it back to me!”
“But Mama…”
“I said give it back to me!”
“But I don’t really have it!”
“Nonsense! I need it now. Hand it over!!”
“Mama…”
“You bitch, I didn’t bring you to this world to become a petty liar
and imprudent thief. If you want to become one, try not to look obvious and
stupid.” Celina said, pointing a finger to her own daughter.
Leanne felt her tears about to fall from her beautiful eyes; however
she tried to withdraw from the emotion-packed memento. It hurt her so
much. Her mother had always been like this since the very beginning she
knew her. It seemed like she didn’t want to have her. She would always
insult and taunt her, and sometimes injure her with her own hands. She
didn’t seem a mother to her or a friend. Leanne had never felt love and
caress from her. The young lady had grown beautifully yet she never
experienced being treated like a daughter. Her mother thought of her as a
‘nobody’. She never cared if Leanne gets high marks in school and gets

59
appreciated by everyone else. She never cared if Leanne gets sick. It’s as if
she didn’t come from her own flesh.
“Now,” Celina sounded calm, “give me back my thing.”
She wiped away her tears and removed her gaze from her mother.
Her evil mother smirked, “Dear Leanne! You are such a weakling!
Do you think your cry would help? Now, give it back to me!!”
“I said I don’t really have it.” She tried to maintain a normal range
of her voice. She didn’t want to make her mom think that she’s rebelling or
something. “Please believe me, Mama.”
“Foolish!” After hearing her daughter’s plea, she went to her room
and locked herself up.
Leanne continued to cry her heart out.
What happened today was not something unusual. That scene
always happened, if not in the morning, at night after she came home from
work. Her mother would find ways to quarrel with her and that she didn’t
know why.

Downtrodden and cynical, the young lad paced along the


expansive corridor of House of Yoon. He was being summoned by Boss
Liam. He didn’t want to show up but four armed was sent to escort him. He
did not show any kind of alarm.
So what?
Finally, they’d reached the receiving room. Two men opened the
glass door for him and as he entered the room, a disappointed face of a
middle-aged man welcomed his composed eyes.
Here we go again…
“Sit down!” said Boss Liam as he lit his cigar.

60
Jayden obediently followed. It’s the least thing he could do after he
contravened him. He thought he knew where the conversation would lead,
therefore he spoke first.
“Are you disappointed of me?”
Boss Liam smoothly blew his cigar and right away responded
without looking at the steadfast young man, “Not really.”
The young man was quite surprised to hear him say that, What?
“I know you wouldn’t do it. That’s why I’ve told Morgan to spare
the man’s life for next time.”
“I told you I’m not doing it!” All of a sudden, Jayden found
himself raising his voice.
“Not for now…. But what do we know about four days, three
weeks, one month from now,” responded the middle-aged man. “You might
change your mind.”
“I’m not killing!”
“Jayden-boy! How many times do I have to tell you? This is your
life! This is your fate!!” said Boss Liam as he glared at the fuming young
man who was trying his best to uphold his calm.
“I didn’t ask for this!”
“Well, I’m sorry your mother chose this for you!”
“Don’t include my mother here!”
Boss Liam viciously leered, then conveyed with rings of smokes
around his face, “Are you still hoping that your stupid mother would come
back and pick you up?”
Jayden fell into wordlessness.
Stop it!
“Do you still want to see her after she abandoned you?”
Who told you I want to see her?

61
Liam continued, “Poor boy! Don’t you know while you’re
suffering, she’s enjoying. What do we know? Perhaps she has forgotten
you…”
“I don’t want to hear anything about her!! She’s… She’s not my
mother!!!”
Boss Liam grinned.
“And I don’t care whatever happens to her!”
“Alright! I believe you,” immediately retorted the enjoying man.
He crossed his legs as he reached for an envelope.
Not truly recovered from the previous confrontation, Jayden
thought he knew what the envelope was for. He looked at it with disbelief.
“Since you don’t kill, maybe this one would please you.” Liam
stated while handing the young lad the envelope. “Don’t worry, you won’t
go to hell because of that.”
Jayden seriously stared at the envelope, which was still tightly
grasped by the devious man. Something was pushing him to accept the
mission yet there was also something opposing it. He’s unsure.
Liam could see how troubled the lad was, therefore he spoke,
“Jayden Lee, you have disobeyed me three times. Counting the first, when
you took all the money, spent them in things you wouldn’t tell us and
surrendered them to the police. Second, when your arrogance almost
destroyed the group, and third—I hope you still haven’t forgotten it—your
cowardice slowly made me distrust you. And the fourth time you disobey
me, I will never forgive you.”
“Prove me you’re worth a thousand men, Jayden Lee.” He rose to
his feet and left the young lad as miserable and alone in the room.

From inside a glistening black limousine, Jayden saw a teenty


house with a brittle roof totally covered by rust and window panes broken

62
by accidents or real intentions. It had a small door with a shattered window
glass and pigmy bullet holes.
This place… He looked around with skepticism.
There were two bigger buildings. On the right was a freshly
painted bakeshop and on the left was an old and abandoned apartment.
There were also bungling lamp posts around.
He felt so sorry for the place and for the people living in it;
however he was glad to see a bit improvement. The wirings that were once
entangled and the sewage system that was broken were fixed and properly
functioning now.
He’s right. He had been in this place before.
“We’re here!” Morgan conveyed as he tossed the envelope to the
empty-minded-looking lad at the back of the car. He stated as he scrutinized
the disfavored house, “I don’t want to do this, Jayden, but if this is the only
way you could gain his trust again, then I have no choice.”
Jayden opened the envelope and read the papers inside.
He couldn’t believe how everything around him was interrelated.
“Francis Kang was a tax collector, but when his grandson was
hospitalized, he loaned money from us. Because he’s just a poor man, he
couldn’t pay the principal; and for years, the interest kept on growing.”
Morgan verbalized everything that was written on the document.
“This is where I live, Sir.” He remembered the little boy, Philip .
Morgan continued, “His grandson is an orphan, Jayden.”
“Where’s your father?”
“He’s gone, Sir.”
“His father and mother’s whereabouts are intangible.”
“Your mother, where is she?”
“I don’t know, Sir…”
“My grandfather looks for me.”

63
“Francis Kang takes care of him.” Morgan took away his stare
from the house. “But because he’s old and ill, the young boy has to stretch
his muscles and work.”
“What does your grandfather do for a living?”
“Nothing!”
“Jayden, the old man is incapable of paying his debt. All we have
to do is scare him to give us the rights of his place.”
Jayden looked as if he’s not listening to what Morgan was saying.
I don’t want to do this but I have to…
He remembered what Boss Liam had told him, “And the fourth
time you disobey me, I will never forgive you.”
“Prove me you’re worth a thousand men, Jayden Lee.”
Then, a brawny man in black suit approached the limousine and
told them, “The old man is inside. I think he’s helpless. Anytime from now,
I think he’ll die.”
When Jayden heard it, he was astounded.
What?
Morgan witnessed the appalling transformation of the handsome
boy’s face.
“Oi, Jayden Lee! We’ll proceed, won’t we?”
Jayden thought of Philip .
What will happen to him if his grandpa goes? Will he be like me?
“Oi, Jayden!!”
Because of surprise, his mind went empty. He couldn’t hear
Morgan calling his name.
Meanwhile, Morgan exactly knew what Jayden was undergoing
and that he knew nothing would happen if he continues to be like this, so he
told the other men to ensue the mission.

64
The men started with the little house’s door, then the windows and
the walls. They’re yelling at the sick old man however Jayden didn’t do
anything. He was out of his mind. He was blankly gaping at the envelope
he’s holding. Though he heard the old man’s plea, he wasn’t sure what to
do—which side to take part.
Morgan spoke, “Jayden, you think this is wrong?”
No reply. He just looked at the envelope.
“The success of the mission depends on your hands. Just tell us if
we pursue or not.” He peeped at the troubled young man through the front
mirror and sighed, “Boss Liam will not be the one to tell you you’re
worth…”
Upon hearing this, Jayden lifted his face and turned his gaze
towards Morgan’s reflection on the mirror—it was smiling at him.
The friendly man continued, “Do whatever you think is right.”
Somewhat, Jayden feels a bit weightlessness. Why does Morgan
always help me out? What would I do without him?
“Do whatever you think is right.”
Right!
His face suddenly brightened up, and he hurried out of the car. He
ran directly inside the almost ruined house and was amazed to see how
hopeless the ill poor man was. He is weakly lying on his wooden bed with
joined pieces of excess clothes. He was mercifully asking for kindness but
Jayden’s men were too cruel and brutal.
“Mission is done!” he shouted breathlessly.
The men were all bowled over.
He isn’t like this. Jayden Lee doesn’t stop until the target is out of
breath.
They glared at each other with astonishment.
Jayden gazed at the old man who was scantily searching for air.

65
“Haven’t you heard him? The mission is over!” Morgan seconded.
“But…” one of the men tried to oppose.
But, Jayden intercepted, “I decide here, remember?” with too much
conceit as he gravely stared at the trembling henchman.
Morgan grinned. There you go, young man!
“You’ve scared him enough… Go back now!” He commanded
while eyeing the old man with sympathy. And the henchmen left together
with Morgan.
Now, the house was empty except to the two. Jayden helped the
old man. He got water for him, then organized the disarrayed furniture. The
old man soon developed from the traumatic situation. As he helped himself
with the food Jayden bought for him, he asked the young man, “Are you
related to that evil Liam?”
Jayden slowly nodded his head.
“How?”
The young lad smiled, “It’s a long story, Grandpa.”
“But you don’t look like them.”
What?
“What I mean is, you are not like them.”
Come again?
The gray-haired old man continued, “Your heart is pure…”
“Your heart is pure…” It echoed into his ear, then to his mind.
My heart is pure?
“Now, just tell me how I will repay you.” Grandpa said while
savoring the mushroom soup.
Without hesitation, Jayden told him the condition. He had to do
this even though it’s against his will. “If … if you would just give me the
rights of your land, then…”
“No problem!”

66
Huh?
The young lad was astounded to hear him answer so fast.
“If that’s what you need, then I’ll give it to you.”
“Grandpa?” his voice trembled.
“Now, Liam will realize how lucky he is to have you.” He smirked
at the bewildered Jayden, “I can’t believe he’s destroying you.”

“Leanne noona!” cried the thin boy as he saw the beautiful young
lady heading his way.
“Philip! Are you here to help me out?” She asked as she brought
down the laundry. The weather was perfect to do the laundry, and Philip
always came on Wednesdays and Thursdays to help in the convent. And in
return, the nuns would give him bread and butter for appreciation.
“Philip, how’s your Grandpa?”
“He’s fine. He’s at home.”
“How I wish I could find time to see him.”
“How about tonight—if you don’t lead the prayer.”
She paused for awhile, then carried on, “Uhm… Mama won’t be
home till dawn and the prayer meeting would end at seven… Maybe I
should try.”
Philip smiled.
Leanne noticed the little boy’s new clothes.
“I see you have bought new ones. Was Mr. Cheng happy about
your collection?”
“Oh!” Philip looked at his clothes, “These were given to me.”
“Really?” she asked curiously.
“Yup, by a very kind man,” Philip hopped to reach the wire.
“Oh, I see!”

67
“I told you, Noona, there are still a lot of good people today,” he
smirked.
Leanne glared at him with disbelief, “Hey! I was the one who told
you that!”

It was past seven and the prayer meeting ended earlier. Little Philip
and Leanne strode along the dark streets of Hyeonbangki. Leanne was
coming with the little boy to see his grandpa. But they had no idea about the
fate they would witness as soon as they arrive there.
“Philip?” Leanne dropped her jaw. What happened?
The house was wrecked. The door was smashed and the windows
were shattered. There was no light from inside. It’s very dark.
“Grandpa?!” Philip rushed inside.
“Philip!” The young lady followed with fear.
However, they couldn’t see anything—everything as just dark.
Philip called for his Grandpa but he heard no reply.
“Noona? Where’s Grandpa?” he’s crying.
“I don’t know, Philip,” answered she. She tightly embraced the
scared and shivering boy.
All of a sudden, a striking light surprised them. A huge man with
thick dark glasses and teeth festooned with metallic braces came in view.
“Francis Kang is safe. He’s with us.” He informed the two.
“Who are you?” Leanne courageously questioned the terrifying
man.
“There’s no need for you to know.” He replied, “Come on, if you
want to see him, come with me.”
Leanne stepped out first but the frightened little boy thwarted her
as he closely grasped her hand. He critically stared at her beautiful eyes.
They were like saying: But we don’t know him, Noona. Nevertheless,

68
Leanne just gave a secured smile and followed the man. Philip, having faith
to the young lady, went with her too.
The scary man carefully drove a luxurious black limousine, and
they were heading towards a first-class town. Philip looked outside as he
admired the lights on the streets. He whispered to Leanne’s ears, “Where
are we going, Noona?”
“I don’t know, Philip. It looks like we’ll be spending a night in a
nice place.” She responded after seeing the high and large buildings outside.
“Hyung…” Philip called the scary but quiet man, who from time to
time glanced to the two through the front mirror. He stared at them. Leanne
admired Philip for his outstanding courage.
The little boy continued, “Where are you taking us? Where is my
Grandfather?” “Don’t be too excited, little lad. We’re almost there.” he
answered.

Chapter 7

69
“Where are we?” Philip sighed as he is amazed to see a very
beautiful house in front of him.
“Mr. Francis Kang’s inside.” said the large man.
“Grandpa!!” the little boy jumped to his feet with excitement. Are
we gonna live here? For real? Forever.
“Philip!” Leanne interrupted.
Philip paused.
“Sir,” she faced the man. And she asked, “Why are you doing this?
What’s the house for?”
The man immediately retorted, “I’m afraid I’m not the right person
to tell you that, Miss. Perhaps, the old man could answer you.”
“Noona?”
Leanne saw how keyed up the boy was. He surely missed his
grandpa.

As they entered the house, Philip right away saw his grandfather
comfortably sitting at the couch in the living room. The place was
magnificent. It’s priceless! He throws himself to his grandpa’s arms and
hugs him so tight.
“Oh, Grandpa! I missed you!!”
“Philip, my boy!”
Leanne looked at the entire remarkable place. Though it wasn’t
that huge but the things around seemed so expensive and astonishing.
“Oh, so you’ve brought with you our beautiful Leanne!” smirked
the overjoyed old man.
“Good evening, Grandpa.” she gracefully bowed with respect.

70
“Come here, young lady. Have a seat!” he offered.
Philip played with his sight. Everything was just shinning.
“Grandpa, where did you get all of these?” curiously inquired the
nosy thin boy.
“Well,” he paused then glanced at the large man standing beside
the door, he continued, “finally I striked the lottery! I told you Leanne’s
birthday is good luck!”
Leanne smiled.
“Lottery? I thought you stopped it already?” grumbled the little
boy.
“Yet, look what happens now. And besides, it was just for fun.” he
laughed.
After dinner, old Francis asked the large brawny man to give
Leanne a ride back to the city proper, since she refused to stay for the night.
There was silence in the atmosphere. The once scary man seemed
to vanish; now, he’s someone who looked scary but actually not. He
carefully drove and Leanne enjoyed the sight outside.
Finally, Leanne broke the silence, “That lottery-thing is fake, isn’t
it Sir?”
The man did not look surprised. He did not even show any interest
of answering.
“Grandpa is too weak to get up from bed,” she stated while looking
outside the window. “It’s too impossible for him to hit the lottery… Sir,
who’s behind this? Can you please tell me your real motive?”
However, the man did not reply.

Jayden tossed a yellow envelope on the round table of the


receiving room. Boss Liam eyed it but didn’t dare touch it.
“So you got it!... Good job!” he exclaimed.

71
Jayden turned his back.
“Not too excited, young man. I’ve got loads for you.”
Jayden gave off an irritated sigh, then leaves.

Leanne told the man to just drop her at Geu Sam Park because
there was a bus stop nearby. While waiting for a bus, she saw someone at
the gates of the park. She tried to look some more, however the bus arrived.
She was just about to go on board when she remembered the strange man
the little boys at school caused a mischief.
The watch! Could he be the man?
She instantly searched for it in her bag when the bus driver called
her attention, “Miss, are you planning to keep us waiting? Hurry up! It’s
late at night!”
At last, she saw the shinning watch.
She apologized and ran towards the gates.
But, the young lady was disappointed. The man at the gates was
gone. She went to the entrance and surveyed the entire place.
Where could he go?
She held the lock and was surprised to see that the gates were
forcefully opened.
Perhaps, he has gone inside. Leanne slowly opened the gateways
and closed them afterwards. She tiptoed through the brick lane heading
towards the ancient bridge and caught a glance of a very dim bridge, yet the
park was surrounded with bright lamp posts.
She sat at the swing close to a lamp and there she decided to wait
for the man to go out from the dark space below the bridge.
I’m going to return this to him, and… Could he really be the man?

72
She waited there for an hour but there was no sign of the strange
man’s presence, therefore she settled on leaving.
She walked alone at the empty streets outside the park, thinking
when she would see the strange man again.

In the intervening time, the man Leanne was looking for wasn’t
really under the bridge. He was strolling on the side streets of the
parameters of the wide park. He did not end up entering the park because of
things, which he only knows.
At that moment, a car beeped behind him.
“Hey, Jayden Lee!”
“Hyung?”
It’s Morgan.
“What are you doing here this late?” he asked as he moved his
head out from the car’s window.
He was at first wordless, but he found an excuse, “Fresh air…”
“Fresh air?”
He nodded.
“Come on. Hop in!” and Jayden hopped in a black Chevrolet, and
Morgan started driving. The young handsome man, who didn’t look tired
after a long day of lies, amplified the music on Morgan’s car. While the
soothing music penetrated into his soul, he accidentally caught a sight of a
beautiful young lady walking on the streets of Chang Nam, an empty
boulevard right after the popular park, all by herself at this late hour;
unfortunately her face was covered by her long black hair. For seconds,
Jayden couldn’t take his sight away from her and thought of the possibility
that that girl was the one he heard crying at the bridge. His eyes widened as
he followed the steps of the strange figure until it vanishes from his sight.
“Hyung! Stop the car!”

73
Without hesitating, Morgan did stop.
“Oi, Jayden, what’s happening?”
And he quickly mounted out of the car, breathlessly.
It’s her! It’s really her!
He ran till he reached the edge of the street, but the girl he was
expecting was no longer there. He looked around, anticipating to somehow
gape at the mysterious young lady.
“Oi, Jayden, what do you think you’re doing?” asked the perturbed
Morgan.
Without his knowing, he slowly gave a handsome smile after a
long intake of air.
“Are you smiling?”
“What?!” He exclaimed after finding out his unconscious act.
“You were smiling.”
Then, he threw his arm unto Morgan’s shoulder and persisted,
“Why are there still so many people awake at this hour? They’re even
wandering around streets.” It sounded more like a complaint.
Huh? Morgan marveled.
“Are you describing yourself?” laughed Morgan.
“Hyung?...” He sounded embarrassed.
“You’re really weird, young man! Come on, let’s go home!”
And they hopped in the car, and Morgan continued driving.
“Hey! You’re regaining your self-confidence once more.” Morgan
told the smiling Jayden, “Can’t you tell me what’s behind the story or the
smile before?”
“Nothing…” He smiled again while looking at the side mirror,
which reflected only the brightness the lamp emitted from edge of the street,
which happened to be the place where the mysterious beautiful lady
vanished from his sight.

74
Morgan parked the car, faced the bizarre young guy and
questioned, “What did Boss Liam tell you?” He sounded so serious now.
Out of the blue, the bright sunny expression on the lad’s face
diminished and was replaced by a distressed one.
Jayden responded in a low voice, “He said he has more for me.
What does he mean, Hyung? I thought what I did is enough.”
“He is never satisfied by those kinds of tasks. He’s not easy to
please, Jayden.” Morgan honestly opened, “If you really want him to agree
with you, you must pass the master of his tests.”
“Master of tests? What do you mean by that?” Though he may
sound ignorant, Jayden didn’t care as long as his uncertainties would soon
be cleared.
Morgan took the yellow envelope from the dashboard and handed
it over to the oblivious young man. “This is your first test.”
My first test?
“You see, your first one wasn’t that hard,” continued the large
man, “Dealing with Francis Kang is a piece of cake—that was what he told
me the night before he gave you the task.”
If he would only know how the old man suffered, would he still call
it a piece of cake?
“And, you better prepare yourself for the second one. He said this
might be the last, but could be the hardest... Boss Liam doesn’t like lengthy
processes, you know that. Once you become a victor, he would find a way
to test you if you deserve the prize.”
“Prize? What prize?”
Morgan shrugged his shoulders.
“Hyung?” His voice sounded a little shaky and Morgan detected
the instability.
“Hmm?”

75
“When would be the second one? Had he told you?”
Mu Rong moved his head sideways. “We just have to wait for it.
Just prepare yourself, Jayden Lee.”
“Hyung, can I ask you one more question?”
“Go on!”
“During your time, what test did he give you?”
Morgan was compelled to smirk. He seemed to be hiding
something.
“Hyung?” Jayden could see clear and shimmering stuff in the
brawny man’s eyes. Is he crying? Morgan tried to stop the tears from
falling.
“I’m sorry, Hyung… If you don’t want, then it’s okay with me.”
“It’s fine with me, Jayden… I guess you should know what kinds
of things people like us do…” He wiped his tears with his hanky and carried
on with a voice breaking like glasses, “He told me to kill my brother…” He
burst into tears.
Morgan killed his own brother?
“And I did what he said.”
“But…but why?” He stuttered with doubt.
“Because I wanted to please him…That’s how evil that man can
go… He will only recognize your loyalty if you do whatever you’re told
even though you know they’re wrong.”
Still, Jayden couldn’t believe Morgan could do such a thing,
knowing that he’s a family man.
“Hyung, but why your brother? For all people, why a family?”
“Arthur’s was his favorite. He led every mission, and I was just a
clever henchman. We would go together on missions, as far as I could
remember. However, one day he just told me to kill him… I had no idea
why but he told me:

76
“I can like you the way I like your brother… if you could just get
rid of him for me… Will you do that?”
So Morgan’s brother is part of the gang too!
“Because I was blinded by him, I did murder my brother,” sobbed
the demoralized Morgan. He looked at the young lad with hope and told
him earnestly, “Don’t ever be like me, Jayden. Don’t always do whatever he
says. You are not his puppet…”
Jayden nodded with various things going around on his mind.
I am not his puppet… I am not his puppet.

The school’s bell rang twice already and the children were running
to their seats. Teacher Leanne was two minutes late but her students did not
misbehave. Quintin, Brennan, Trevor and Logan were getting ready for the
next class. They busily returned all the paints in the cupboard and properly
folded their aprons when their pretty teacher arrived. They all smiled at her,
and she too did the same.
“Has Mr. Sun knocked into your room’s door?” she questioned.
They all nod.
“Very well, I think Mr. Sun would like to hear a happy song from
you.”
Suddenly, Trevor, the cute kid whose front tooth is missing, raises
his left hand and queries, “I think you have a visitor, Teacher Leanne.”
Leanne looked into the door and was very surprised to see a
familiar face.
Philip?
She excused herself from the class and went outside the room.
There she met Principal Choi Tae Min and the shy Phili .

77
“Miss Chae, our Philip Kang here will begin his first class today
with you.” He informed the still surprised yet glad Leanne. All she did as a
response was to nod her head.
The principal looked at Philip and told him, “Be good to everyone
little boy.” And he departs.
Leanne faced Philip with an unexpected disappointed air. She said,
“You should have taken reading and arithmetic, Philip.”
“Noona… I’m scared.”
She embraced the tiny boy. “You don’t have to be scared. I’ll be
here whenever you need me.”
He smirked.
“So, how’s the new house?”
“Creepy?”
He continued, “I’m not used to it but I think I’m going to like it.”
“Okay, I see. So, are you ready to meet your classmates?”
He nodded with so much enthusiasm.
Leanne brought him inside and introduced to everyone.
“I hope you will become nice to our new friend, won’t you?” She
told the happy little kids.
“Welcome, Philip Kang. Nice to meet you!” all greeted.
Philip coyly smiled then turned his blushing face to his sweet
music teacher. Afterwards, Leanne gave him his new seat near the bulletin
board. His first day at school was amazing. Everyone had been
tremendously nice to him. He easily found his niche in the environment. He
made friends not only with the nerd ones but to the cool kids too. However,
there was someone in class who wasn’t happy to be acquainted with the
new boy.
“I don’t think he can play the piano well,” said he.
“Who? Philip Kang?” questioned the little boy with thick glasses.

78
“I’ve heard he has never been into school before. I bet he doesn’t
even know how to read.” the jealous boy stated while helping himself with
his lunch.
Trevor gawked at Philip, then uttered to the two, “I think he’ll be
fine.”
Quintin and Logan looked at each other with disapproval. “What
are you talking about, Trevor?” questioned Brennan.
“I think he’ll learn fast.” replied the certain Trevor.
“Whose side are you?!” Quintin infuriatingly exclaimed.
Trevor was flabbergasted, What?
“I’ll declare war with you if you take side with him!” Quintin was
jealous with the new boy because he felt that he got himself a competitor to
his teacher’s affection.
“Hey, Quintin, I didn’t say I’m making friends with him!”
countered the worried Trevor.
Logan moved his seat closer to Quintin’s and questioned, “Why do
you dislike him? He looked nice and friendly.”
Trevor nodded his head as if he’s agreeing with what his other
friend said.
Quintin directly responded, “I don’t like him because he’s stealing
Teacher Leanne away from me.”
The other two gazed at each other with uncertainty. Is he?

After school, Leanne went directly to the convent. Unexpectedly,


an uneasy Vanessa welcomed her.
“Leanne... your mother…”
Leanne trailed every word that came from Vanessa’s words. What
about my mother?
“She’s speaking with the Mother Superior!”

79
What?!!!
“I was contacting you but you wouldn’t answer your phone. She
was here since four.” Vanessa was shaking.
Nevertheless, Leanne didn’t look like she’s moved. She just gave a
blank stare to her friend.
“Hey! Is that all you can give?” She protested, “Your mother might
take you away from us. You said… you said you’ll be staying forever. You
said you want to be a nun. You just can’t leave us here.”
Leanne froze. Her eyes slowly filled itself with shimmering tears.
“You can’t leave this way! Leaving for the sake of your mother’s
selfishness is unfair. I might agree if it’s your own will but with your
mother’s, I’m sorry to say I don’t!!” The room was silent except for the
furious Vanessa’s bursting emotions.
She shrugged her friend’s still and cold hands, and conveyed
ardently, “She no longer respects you, Leanne. How come you still tolerate
her childishness?”
One time, Leanne had told Vanessa about her mother getting all
her pay and returning every night drunk and out-of-control. Vanessa kept on
telling her to quit being a saint but Leanne just couldn’t disregard her
mother. After all, she suffered bringing me to this world, thus, I don’t have
the right to dictate on her… Her mother had never been good to her. She
threw all the dirty households to her daughter and went some place away
from home, enjoying and spending all her daughter’s money. Sometimes,
she would go beyond too much. She would hurt Leanne if she disobeys. She
was never a mother to her. Yes, she did provide milk and food when she
was young, but how about now? Leanne was the one working hard to
survive the twists and turns of life; and she—what did she do? Fritter all her
daughter’s sacrifices! She didn’t even say ‘thank you’.

80
Papa? Leanne didn’t have one for the past fourteen years. She
barely remembered memories of him. She was under his father’s protective
hands till she was six, but her mother took her away from him. Celina did
never utter a word about him after they separated. The only thing she knew
about her father was that they left him because of another woman whom he
loved more than them. Perhaps Papa is the reason why Mama treats me
this way…
Leanne used to live a life fed in a golden spoon. Her mother,
Celina, once had a small yet fruitful jewelry shop. She got to sell large
pieces of gems and precious stones to elites and high-class people. They had
a beautiful home in an exclusive subdivision and she went at large
universities. Despite all those glamour, her mother hadn’t had time to attend
to her motherly responsibilities. She had never gone to parents’ conferences
at school for her Leanne’s attendance. Whenever there were school
donations, she would just hand over an envelope and never appeared in
front of the school’s staffs. Leanne’s enrollment for years had always been
through the telephone and e-mails. She was the only girl in school whose
mother had never set foot at her child’s second home. Celina never got the
chance of meeting Leanne’s teachers and friends too.
Until her mother’s business fell into bankruptcy, which happened
five years ago, Leanne’s life immediately had become worse than hell. Her
mother stopped working and did only depend on her little pay. Nonetheless,
she still got to live an expensive life—buying things she wants, going to
wonderful places, drinking till daybreak, playing lottery and casino—with
Leanne’s hard work. And what’s unlikely was that Leanne didn’t get the
chance to reap the fruits of her labor no matter how she loved to.
When she was sixteen, she started to work as a music teacher at a
pre-school and at the same time she went to high school. Leanne didn’t
continue college because of financial constraints.

81
At nineteen, because the pre-school was run by a religious
congregation of Christian Sisters, she decided of entering the convent and
offer her entire life to the service of the hurt and poor.
In the morning till four in daylight—that’s every weekdays—
Leanne could be seen between the four colorful walls of the pre-school’s
music room. And the hour after that, she had to go to the convent for prayer
meetings and bible readings. On weekends, she had all her time in the
convent for religious activities and individual chores. As a routine, her
Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday nights were occupied by busy tasks in the
convent, which meant that she had to stay overnight and left for home the
next day. The other days were usual days.
“Leanne…” Vanessa called in a frightened way. She pointed out to
a woman standing behind them.
Leanne turned and surprisingly she was not befuddled by surprise.
Vanessa looked uneasy. She eyed Leanne who seemed not to care.
Celina, her mother, who had just permed her hair and coated her
finger nails with thin iridescent bright red polish, stared at her still daughter.
Leanne gawked straight into her mother’s eyes without qualms.
But, Celina, unexpectedly turned her back and leave.
Vanessa was overly astounded. What’s with her?
When her mother had left, Vanessa whacked Leanne’s sleeve and
said, “Was that it? What do you think did she tell Mother Superior?”

82
Chapter 8

83
“Hyung, where’s Quintin?” Jayden questioned as he surveyed the
silent receiving room of Morgan’s house. It was three days after he learned
what mission was waiting for him; however Jayden didn’t seem like he’s
troubling himself with it now. Even Morgan wondered how the young lad
could keep himself in tune all the time.
Morgan flang a bright red apple to the young lad and answered,
“School.”
“Saturday?”
“Well, that is what he told me last night. Anyway, his mother’s
with him.”
Jayden nodded his head like he understood. He stared at the apple,
and then curved his gaze around until he caught a sight of a little note
posted on the fridge.
“Hyung, what’s that?”
Morgan went near the fridge to read clearly the note.
“Lily…”
Er—
“She’s asking me to fetch Quintin from school.”
He continued, “She said she’s attending her flower arrangement
class today.”
“Can’t you do it, Hyung?” Jayden questioned.
He plunged into silence.
“I’ll fetch Quintin!”
Morgan gazed at him with so much please.
“Really?”
“I have nothing to do. And besides, I think I’ll treat Quintin for an
ice cream today.” he replied with ease.
Morgan smiled.

84
“Hyung, where will you go?”
The well-built man took his eyes from Jayden.
“Hyung, are you doing a raid tonight?” He all of a sudden sounded
serious and dark.
Morgan was speechless.
The handsome young guy persisted on asking Morgan, “Did Boss
Liam give you the load again?”
“Hyung, why is it hard to refuse that man?” Finally, he removed
his stare from Morgan.
However, Morgan didn’t answer.

At school, Leanne was having a special class for students who


wanted to join the mid-autumn musicale, and Quintin was among the best
students she had.
Leanne was gracefully and finely hitting the keys and notes with
her white candle-like fingers and Quintin, as usual, irrevocably admiring
her for that.
Teacher Leanne is really beautiful…
“Quintin, can you do that?”
He smiled and did what he was asked for.
“Hold it there, Quintin. It’s an ‘A’ not an ‘F#’.” She continued as
she guided the little hands of the glad boy, “Come on, let’s do it again.”
Obviously, Quintin was enjoying the moment. He really loved her.
There was even a time when he surprised Leanne to death.
It was a fine Monday morning, and Leanne asked all her students
to write a song for someone they like as a weekend-homework. When it was
Quintin’s turn to recite his, he joyfully yet bashfully conveyed his
introduction. It stated: “For my beautiful teacher and soon wife.”

85
Of course, Leanne was dumbfounded, yet she just gave a good
laugh. She understood little kids and she appreciated the fondness Quintin
had for her.
“Amazing, Quintin dear! I think that’s all for today.” She smiled
charmingly.
“Teacher, do you like me?” He inquired sounding so troubled.
Leanne plummeted into wordlessness. Here he goes again… For
the past days, she observed that Quintin always asked her this kind of
question, and she always gave him the same answer.
“Of course I do, you know that.”
“Teacher,” the young boy courageously looked directly into her
beautiful speaking eyes and told her, “who do you like more—me or that
Philip?”
Alright! This answers my question. Quintin had insecurities toward
the new boy, she thought.
She smiled, “Quintin, I like the both of you. As a matter of fact, I
love all of you… There’s no reason for you to hate Philip. He’s new in
school and he needs friends.”
“But you seem to like him more than me…”
“But that is what you thought. If I don’t like you, do you think I
would be here?” continued she.
“Quintin, you know how much I care for you. I love you equally…
So please don’t feel bad about it. Philip is your friend. I am your friend—
everybody’s your friend too.”
He timidly nodded though his face was dismal.
“Do you understand now?”
He nodded.
“No more bad feelings?”
“I guess so.”

86
And she gave him a warm hug.

“Excuse me, but where’s the piano class?” asked Jayden to the pre-
school’s floor sweeper.
“It’s in the third room to the right, sir.” she replied as she melted to
the handsome young lad’s beautiful pair of eyes. She couldn’t believe such
creature is created.
“Thanks.”
And he strolled at the narrow corridor. There were little portraits of
different classes on the walls, covered with fine wallpaper, and he looked
for Quintin’s. While making himself busy searching for the little boy’s class
picture, he was accidentally bumped by someone, though the contact didn’t
give him any injured arm or leg.
“I’m sorry…” apologized the hastening young lady. But before he
could say he’s okay, or even look at her, the girl with an innocent face had
gone away. Jayden watched her disappear from the end of the corridor. Out
of the blue, he remembered the mysterious girl he saw the other night. She
also disappeared the way the girl from before did. Could she be…?
He slowly stepped his unbelieving legs but he halted when he felt
something at his right foot. He looked down and he saw a small notebook
beautifully decorated with simple butterfly stickers. He picked it up, then
once again, looked at the edge of the corridor—probably hoping for the
young lady’s return.
He finally decided of running after her, though he was sure he
didn’t know why. What if she’s really the girl? But, wait! Why am I so
interested to her? His weird thoughts and actions perturbed him all the
more. He wanted to believe that it is not possible that his idea would be
right. Though, he didn’t understand why he’s acting so weird after he
bumped with the girl, he knew that he’s running after her.

87
With the little notebook tightly clutched by his soft hands, he
glanced everywhere to see where the girl was but to his disappointment, he
had reached the gates of the school with no sign of the girl’s presence. .
He longed for air, and he unhesitatingly took the chance to gulp for
it. However, only the tender zephyr of cold wind, that blew the fallen leaves
from the long branches of the fig tree, touched his pasty skin and puffed
away strands of hair that hid the splendor and the passionate thirst of his
eyes.
“Hyung!!” called a boy who was standing at the door path of the
school.
But Jayden was too overwhelmed by the weird feeling inside that
he didn’t hear and notice Quintin.
The little boy ran towards him, jiggled his shirt, and said, “Hyung,
what are you doing here?”
Finally, he discerned Quintin’s presence. He gaped at him with his
head filled with thoughts about the girl.
“Hyung, why are you here? Where’s Papa?” He added on, “Mama
said Papa will be getting me.”
“Hyung?”
“He’s busy with something, Quintin,” he answered wearily, still
looking around—hoping to see her.
Perceiving that Jayden wasn’t with himself, Quintin also did look
around to see what’s happening.
“Are you waiting for someone, Hyung?”
“No—”
“Then, what are you doing?”
“Nothing—”
“Ok!” He jumped in front of Jayden and conveyed, “I’m hungry.
Can we go now?”

88
Jayden nodded.

“Where’s Mama?” Leanne interrogated in a low voice. She had


just arrived from school.
A man in his early forties stood upright at the staircase when the
young lady arrived. He wore a thin white sleeveless undershirt and faded
jean shorts. He had no slippers at his feet but barefooted. He looked like he
had just woken up from a thousand year-sleep. His hair was untidy and
messy like spiders live on it. His face was on mess too, with slimy fluids
around. He chuckled mockingly as he saw Leanne dumbfounded.
“Your mother? I don’t know…” he answered.
“You?! What are you doing here?” asked Leanne.
The man went down, and sluggishly and stubbornly confronted the
young lady.
He said teasingly, enunciating every syllables, “Going home?...”
And Leanne walked away, neglecting the palpable sardonic and
sadistic reply of the man.
She went straight to her room, then not long after she returned to
the living room with a bigger bag.
“Where are you going?” inquired the curious man.
“Somewhere…” she replied.
He said while brushing his toenails with a fork, “You know Celina
would go wild if she knows you’re in that convent again.”
“She always does,” Leanne responded.
“Why don’t you just follow your mother? After all,” he continued
without looking past to the young lady, “she only hoped for your future.”
“For me or for yourselves?” stated Leanne with fire on her eyes
though her voice didn’t sound harsh.

89
“Come on, dear child. Parents don’t ask for bad things to happen to
their children.”
“I am not your daughter.”
“But I treat you like my own.”
“I’m going.”
He grinned askance and looked at the dismayed young lady. He
added, “Don’t forget to pay the bills. It’s due today.”
“Why don’t you pay it? It’s your problem not mine,” she looked
through her shoulder.
“We’re family. And families should help each other.”
Leanne could no longer suppress the man’s effect to her, thus, she
left.
“Farewell dear!!!” he exclaimed contemptuously with a haughty
smirk at his lips.

Jayden rested on his bed with his head against a soft large pillow.
He stared at his ceiling with an empty expression.
Could she be her?
Then, he raised his right hand and revealed the little notebook,
which he picked after the breathtaking encounter with the girl, on his grasp.
He gawked at it intently.
Could she really be her?
Out of the blue his cell phone rang but he didn’t answer it because
he was sure that it was Liam, summoning him.
Just as he was about to close his eyes, someone knocked his door
down, looking exasperated and perfectly anxious.
The man told him in great dilemma, “Morgan’s shot!”
What?!!
He almost jumped off his bed.

90
“He’s at the hospital.”
Without further a due, Jayden rushed to see Morgan.
“There there, young lad, I’m completely fine,” he joyfully said,
faking a smile on his lips.
Jayden seemed to be so abhorrent—his facial expressions and
gestures were terrifying.
“Why didn’t you tell me he gave you that task?” he angrily
inquired.
“Hey, I’m older than you. Do I have to tell you my business?”
countered Morgan while lying on the white mattress.
Suddenly, the anger and hatred on the young man’s face seemed to
vanish like wind. He now looked in despair and sorrow, regretting.
He said, “That is supposed to be mine.”
“Jayden, I already accepted it. It happened,” he explained. “It
wasn’t your fault… I had been careless.”
“That Robert Lee is as evil as Liam!”
“Now, don’t curse other people. Remember, it’s our plot,” Morgan
reminded the fuming Jayden. “He just… defended himself.” He sighed at
the middle.
Jayden glared at him and conveyed like a ferocious whisper, “He
almost killed you!”
Morgan sighed, “I’m fine, Jayden. Not too soon, I can go back to
work; just don’t tell Lily and Quintin about this.”
The young man frowned with discontent.

Two weeks had passed and Morgan was still at the hospital yet the
doctor said he’s getting well every day. Jayden kept his promise. Lily and
Quintin had no idea about Morgan’s condition.

91
One night, Jayden visited Morgan rather late this time than the
usual.
Morgan asked, “What keeps you busy?”
Looking disappointed, he didn’t answer.
“Another thing to accomplish, I suppose?”
Jayden turned away and looked outside the window. The whole
city was shimmering with gold, silver and sapphire—sparkling and fantastic
to his sight yet it couldn’t cast away the apparent disappointment on his
face. He slowly sat at the windowsill and gazed as far as he could at the
cold outside.
“I suppose not,” Morgan spoke. “Another reason maybe.”
It couldn’t be his mother, Morgan thought. Cause if it is, he should
have gone wild but Jayden was tame this time—very odd.
“Your business keeps you busy these past few days, Jayden,” he
said. “What could that be?”
“Hyung?”
Morgan shut his mouth and widely opened his ears.
“What bothers you the most?”
Morgan dropped his jaw. What is he thinking?
Jayden continued, “Anything but work,” enunciating the
‘anything’ in it.
“Well,” he gulped. “My family knowing what I do…”
“Nothing else?” his voice was course and blank.
Morgan moved his head sideward, implying a ‘no’.
“Should there be?”
“I guess.”
“Hey Jayden Lee, what’s with you? Are you crazy?”
“Maybe?”

92
Perhaps, Morgan had in mind: How could a vicious dragon
become as docile as a lamb now? Has the sun set during sunrise?
He finally opened his mouth and spoke, “I know where you were
last night.”
Suddenly, Jayden dropped his stare and became petrified after
hearing Morgan.
“I asked one of the men to drive for me and I saw you. You were at
Geu Sam. And you know what’s funny? You were at that old damn bridge,
looking so desperate. Honestly, what the hell were you doing there? What’s
really happening?”
Morgan added with a serious stare to the dumbfounded Jayden,
“And you were there the other night—don’t deny!”
“Sorry for not minding my business but I can’t help myself.”
Jayden, with his lovely eyes, turned his gaze to the smirking
Morgan.
“Will you laugh at me if I tell you this?”
“I’ll cross my fingers not to.”
He stood up uneasily. He made a few strolls of circles, faced
Morgan and breathed deeply. Morgan could sense his tension.
“Honestly, it’s not your business.”
“You promised!”
He guzzled for air, then quickly countered, “But it’s difficult to
explain… I don’t even know what it is.”
“Alright…” Morgan gave an askew teasing smile. He told the
disconcerted handsome young man, “Do you want me to help you?”
“How?”
“I’m gonna ask you questions, then answer only yes or no. You got
it?” Jayden didn’t like the snooty expression on Morgan’s façade.
“I don’t think that’ll work. I told you, I don’t know what it is.”

93
“Just answer as honest as you can, Jayden.”
He nodded.
“Let’s start,” Morgan was in delight. “Does it worry you a lot?”
A lot?
“Not really—”
“Yes or no?” Morgan reminded.
“No.” He flatly responded.
“If it doesn’t worry you, does it make you happy?”
“I don’t really—”
“Yes or no!”
“Maybe—” he confusedly retorted without even looking to his
dear old friend.
“Jayden!”
“I can’t explain it… All I want is to see her—that’s it!”
“Her?”
Jayden looked extremely and badly mortified. His face went
tomato-red that he wanted to bury it with his hands.
“There! You said it yourself!” Morgan teased with a large grin on
his face.
“It’s not what you think!”
“Really?” Morgan’s voice is irritating him. “Enlighten me.”
“Well—”
“Well?”
“Well, it’s not more than what you think… She’s interesting—
that’s all!”
“You like her?” Morgan asked with a very somber and stern gape.
“No!” He defended.
Now, Jayden had the reason to bury himself.
“Don’t startle me, Jayden!”

94
“You got the wrong idea.”
“Then, tell me what it really is!”
Without knowing, he said, “She made me realize about
something,” in a lower tone—melancholic and luscious.
Morgan began to be more interested. He drew himself nearer.
Jayden looked down and his gaze seemed to be deep and profound that
nobody could understand and reach it.
He continued, “That I’m not the only person in this world who
walks alone in the cross of suffering.”
What?
“I think her tears made me stronger,” there was a little yet pleasant
and divine smile on his face. “I want to do the same thing she did to me.”
“Who is this girl?”
He didn’t answer but an obvious subdued sigh he gave off.
“I didn’t even get the chance to see her face.”
He did really sound sober.

Chapter 9

95
The hall of the Pre-School was almost full. The concour would
start any minute now. Little Quintin, not nervous for his solo recital,
approached the silent Philip, who was sitting alone at one corner of the
backstage.
“Hi!” Quintin greeted.
“Hi…” Philip greeted in return but in a scared and surprised way.
“Can I sit with you?”
Philip nodded his head.
After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Quintin handed a
nicely wrapped chocolate bar. Philip stared at him like an appalled lamb. He
knew that Quintin didn’t like him.
“You can have this,” Quintin said. “Go on!”
He bashfully took it from his little hands. He said thank you, then
he fell into silence and surprise once more.
Out of the blue, Quintin jumped off his seat while saying, “I have
to get ready. Thanks for your company.” And he left.

The hall was so noisy—parents boasting off their kids’ talents. On


the first right side of the hall seated were Quintin’s family, Morgan and
Lily. Quintin came rushing to them with Teacher Leanne’s hand tightly
clasped by his. He called for his father who he’d missed so much.
“So you are the famous Miss Leanne Chae.” Morgan affably stated
with a warm smile on his large face while putting his dark glasses to cover
his eyes.
Leanne respectfully bowed her head.
“Dad, it’s not daylight!”
Quintin was baffled by his Dad’s sunglasses. Do his eyes ache?
“This son of mine is so fond of you.” He continued, “Now I know
why.” He looked at his wife and smiled.

96
Quintin interfered, not wanting his Dad to mess his night,
“Where’s Hyung, Dad?”
“Oh, he said he’ll be late but he promised to come,” answered
Morgan. “You know him, he doesn’t break his word,” a great deal of his
teeth was shown.
“Great!” cried Quintin. He faced Leanne gleefully and told her, “I
want you to meet him. He’s the best man in the whole world, after Dad of
course.”
Morgan laughed.
Leanne smiled, and said, “Sir, have we met before? You seem
familiar.”
“Oh! I’m very sure it’s the first time I see you, Miss Chae.” His
smile so gigantic. He continued, “Maybe I looked a little bit like that
person.” He chuckled.
“Maybe,” she plainly smirked.
“Miss Chae!” a stout nun called her.
“Oh, I’m really sorry, but I have to go now,” she sounded
remorseful.
“It’s okay, Miss Chae,” said Lily with a sweet smile.
“Please, will you have dinner with us the next time we see each
other?” Morgan offered.
“That is an amazing idea!” Lily seconded.
Quintin’s eyes grew large with glee and enchantment.
Leanne accepted the offer and left.

Ten minutes had passed and the lights were off. Just as the first
performer had begun, Jayden arrived and sat beside Morgan.
“Tell me if I’m late,” he said breathlessly.
“Wow, good thing Quintin performs third!” Morgan kidded.

97
“Good evening, Lily!” he gave a snobbish stare to Morgan.
“So, did the Prince end his conquest triumphant?” Morgan inquired
almost in a murmur. But, he didn’t receive any answer. Obviously not, he
thought.
“Do you really think she exists, Jayden?” He continued asking.
Only the sound of the cello filled the entire place—no response
from Jayden’s mouth.
“Well, I guess I have to see her.” Morgan hit his elbow with his. “I
have to thank her,” and smiled to Jayden. “…for making an angel out of
you.”
It was the girl’s with large round glasses and braided hair turn.
There was a large applause from the middle audience. Jayden heard Lily
commented that they are her family that’s. She’s playing Rachminoff in
flute.
“Hyung,” Jayden spoke, “would it be possible if the girl works
here?”
“What?” Morgan obviously didn’t get what he meant.
“Remember the day when I volunteered myself to fetch Quintin?”
Morgan wobbled his head twice.
“I bumped to a girl… Not exactly me, but it was her who bumped
me. But it was an accident. She was in a hurry,” he narrated while his eyes
on the performance. He persisted, “Well, I had this idea in mind that she
could be her. What do you think?”
Morgan smirked and answered, “Now I can tell you’re insane.
Jayden, there are millions of girls around the world. For all place, why the
school? Do you think your girl is a nun?”
“No. She didn’t dress like a nun.” He informed Morgan.
“Well, nuns run this place.” He told Jayden.

98
Jayden immediately defied, “She could be some kid’s older sister,
or cousin, or the librarian…”
“Are you that anxious to see her? Why don’t you ask Quintin?”
“It’s Quintin’s turn now.” Lily whispered to Morgan.
With his large hands on air, he gave off thunderous claps and yells.
“That’s my son!” he repeated all over again.
Quintin started but his first few keys were out-of-tune.
“My son’s really good. What do you think, Jayden?”
Jayden said, “He’s excellent for his age but his ‘C’ was wrong, it
should be an ‘A#’.”
“How did you know that?”
“Your ears are great teachers, Hyung.”
“I didn’t know you play piano,” said he. He lowered his voice,
“Did Liam send you to music classes before?”
“No, but Mama did. She was my teacher,” His answer was
gloomy.
Oh! After that, Morgan didn’t ask for more.
Quintin ended his piece very fairly. Morgan stood up and clapped
his hands. He yelled, “That’s my boy!” proudly.
Quintin rushed to see Teacher Leanne. He told her he messed up
and he’s sorry. But Leanne said he did great.
Actually, it was not only him who made mistakes. The others,
though they did fairly, committed ambiguous errors too. She comforted the
depressed Quintin.
After the night of music, Quintin told Jayden, “I’m sorry, Hyung,
but Teacher can’t see you now. She said her mother called.”
“Teacher?” He gave an inquiring gawk to Morgan.
Quintin was curious why his father whispered something into
Jayden’s ears.

99
“Dad, what did you tell Hyung?”
“Nothing, dear. Just work,” he smiled. He changed the topic, “Miss
Chae is Quintin’s teacher, Jayden. And Quintin wanted you to meet her.”
“She’ll be my wife!!” he exclaimed over his lungs.
Jayden was immensely shocked yet he wanted to laugh.
“Well, certainly I want to meet the love of your life,” the
handsome young man replied.
All Morgan and Lily did was to look at each other and control the
laughter. And they all went home together after a happy dinner.

When she arrived home, she was not surprised to see her mother
having visitors. They are very unusual visitors though they always came
twice a month. These men looked so ferocious and scary, but her mother
was never afraid of them. She signaled Leanne to sit beside her.
“Bring it out!” she commanded.
And Leanne willingly brought out her wallet.
“I’m sorry she’s so sluggish. Hurry up!!”
The men looked at each other.
“Here you go,” she handed a handful of paper bills.
The thinner man counted, then said, “You’re a thousand less.”
“I’m sorry,” she sounded embarrassed. She turned her fierce eyes
to Ariannne, then ironically smiled, “Didn’t you hear? He said we’re nine
thousand less.” She gesticulated using her right hand, “Come on! Don’t be
passive and phlegmatic!”
“But Mama!”
She raised her eyebrow and gave a stern and strict expression.
“What, dear?” Oh, she’s mad.
“But it’s for the rental…”

100
“Come on. It wouldn’t be till Monday. You still have four days,
Leanne.”
“Mama?”
“Will you give it or not?” she sounded livid—really livid and
fuming.
She took the money that was left in her wallet and forlornly and
regretfully gave it to Celina.
“Here…” she softly handed the money.
The men counted them and looked satisfied now.
“We’ll tell Boss you had paid the first half of your debt. So, when
we will come back?” asked the bigger one.
Celina glared at Leanne while replying, “Anytime next month.”
When the men had left, Celina slapped Leanne’s face.
“How dare you embarrass me that way?!!”
Leanne helplessly landed on the rug near the sofa.
“How dare you do that to me?!” her mother continued in a fury.
Leanne is crying now. It was hurting. Why does Mama do this to
me all the time?
“Haven’t you learned your lesson?”
She’s crying really really hard now.
A year ago, when Leanne refused to give her savings, Celina
burned her skin on the right lower part of her shoulder with her cigar.
“Would you want me to do that again?”
Arthur, who was standing at the staircase, just wickedly tried to
control himself from extreme laughter.
Celina beat her again with her hands.
She cried for her mother’s name, but Celina wouldn’t stop.
“Please, Mama… Mama….”
“You evil girl!!”

101
“Ma…”
“Wretched!”
She tried to defend herself, and when she had the chance to push
her mother aside, she did it without hesitation. With her own eyes, she saw
Celina fluttered to the door. She was disturbed and appalled on what she
saw. She had just pushed her, and Celina’s eyes were full of hate and
anguish.
“You!!!” Celina murmured that almost she could only hear it.
Leanne’s eyes were full of disbelief. Did I just do it?
Even Arthur was left shocked and wordless. It was the first time
Leanne hurt her mother. She was however moved by her conscience and
superego.
“Mama…” Her voice was terribly shaking.
“Don’t touch me!”
She looked at her mother with resentment and pity. She disgraced
herself for hurting her. I didn’t mean to…
“I’m sorry, Mama,” humbly Leanne said.
Arthur was helping Celina stood up now.
“Mama…” her voice was pleading.
Celina gaped at her she’s gonna eat her.
“I’m sorry…” continued Leanne.
“GO AWAY!!!” abruptly and irately bellowed Celina.
It was awful. That was the first time her mother shouted at her like
that. She must be very mad, Leanne thought.
“I SAID GO AWAY!”
And Leanne went out of the house, not able to endure all her
Mama’s painstaking madness.
She wanted to hold unto her tears. Please don’t let go…

102
She strode along the empty and not-so-bright shoddy pavement of
the place. Her tears were like feral prisoners who only desired of attaining
freedom from a century of disgusting and integrity-degrading lifetime
imprisonment.
But I don’t want to cry… I always cry… She sighed as she cleared
her eyes, Why am I so weak? She forced a smile into her sweet lovely lips
which color was as charming as a vast lively ocean filled with loud laughter
and gay thoughts.
The lights were not that bright. Only four out of the nine lamp
posts were efficiently working. She was all alone. The neighborhood had
probably fallen asleep after dinner or after watching their favorite TV show.
The whole place was getting cozy and cold. The twigs of the trees
are now thin on top though single sparkling drops were glistening
dazzlingly at the tips. Emitting such brilliant and romantic flavor, the moon
was at its best—very opposite from the dismal and glum feelings inside
Leanne’s heart. Winter would soon come and Christmas too but how come
her heart wasn’t anticipating for it. She’d always loved the two. Winter
wasn’t winter if there’s no Christmas, and Christmas wasn’t Christmas if
winter wasn’t around.
Her beautiful face lightened when a flake of snow touched it. It’s
snowing, she told herself with a sign of hope somehow. She watched the
gentle fall of the modest velvety snow. It’s mellifluous when it plummeted
into her skin.
Why does my life so monotonous? However I try to paint it with
lovely colors, it seems to be gloomy still?
Whenever problems come her way, Leanne would always fake a
smile and pretend like she hadn’t any. There’s no way I would trouble
myself with that, she maybe thinking. Nevertheless, she knew that those
tribulations affect her so much, though she always suppressed things.

103
She was uncertain that night. She didn’t know where her legs
would bring her. Sadness just overwhelmed her. It was the worst day she
ever had.

Looking outside the wall-sized window, Jayden was sitting still at


the firm window sill. It wasn’t the girl that disturbed him now. His
remembered when he was little, his mother would sit beside him and
together they would play nice songs with the piano. She was a good pianist,
and she’s beautiful too.
His stare was as usual—bare and hopeless.
He turned to the large black piano at the corner of the room. It was
inviting but the pain was worse. He had cursed every memory of his about
the piano long time ago, when his mother left him. He never even lay a
finger on the keys—not even once, but now he doubted himself of breaking
his promise. He wanted to hear it sound—it’s melodious tune and the
romantic stirring and heartening zest it would give.
Seeing Quintin and the other kids happily performed a while ago
reminded him his tragic childhood yet very sweet.
He didn’t know that he was heading to the piano; his legs seemed
to carry all his weight though he felt light. Then, he just saw himself sitting
at the black leather divan, his eyes directed to the black and white striped
keys of the piano. They’re alluring.
He slowly but gracefully lifted his fingers, then tenderly pressed
one key. The tone crammed the entire room. He felt the melody.
He striked another key until he felt something unusual inside. Was
he smiling? He thought he enjoyed it.
“Inspiring!” a voice behind him interfered.
He froze.

104
“You didn’t tell me you’re a pianist too, Jayden,” continued the
voice.
Jayden looked through his shoulder.
“How could someone like you be romantic?” he grinned.
Suddenly, he thought why Boss Liam had not given him any task.
He coldly questioned, “Are you here for another one?”
“I don’t think so,” quickly replied Liam, “I think I’ll give you time
to rest. Morgan will be pleased if I do that”
“Morgan?” he almost jumped off the divan. “What does he have to
do with this?”
“Well,” Liam drew himself near the bemused young man. “It was
his idea. I thought nothing will be gone if I try.”
Jayden was getting impatient, “What is it?”
“Poor Morgan, he’s too old for the task. See what happened to
him?”
“Task?...” he thought for awhile. Then, “You gave him my task?”
Jayden’s gaze was angry and murderous.
Liam just laughed—wickedly. Then, he just felt Jayden’s solid fist
tenaciously hit his right cheek. It was a strappingly strong blow. He felt his
sore cheek with his hand. It was sure swelling and red. He glared at the
young man with a look of disapproval. He could see the fire on them. He’s
exploding, he thought.
There was an apprehensive silence—only Jayden’s unbelieving
gasps echoed in the room till Liam cut the silence.
“Hey, Jayden Lee!!” He said in a calm tone. He smirked, “I have
an idea.

He drove his car rather fast. The neighboring cars were outlandish
to his speed. Everyone he passed by would probably think he wanted to hit

105
the edifice of buildings. He was driving rowdily on contrary to the gentle
fall of white snow. He was unbearably fast; nevertheless, Jayden didn’t
think of his speed or hitting a tree or the metal bars along the pavement or
the grace winter brought. At the first place, he never liked winter. It
reminded him of his birthday. He was born on Christmas Day, and on
Christmas Day his mother left him. The green and red lights didn’t also
bother him. Disobeying traffic laws this kind of time couldn’t stop him.
Even the sirens of the patrol cars were failures. He accelerated the engine
until he could only see bizarre and unclear flashes of images outside him.
He was driving too fast—faster than he thought he could. It’s disturbing—
not my driving but the eerie thing inside me, he probably was thinking.
Then, he just stopped hearing the sirens. He possibly had lost them.
He looked around. His madness and torment just brought him to Geu Sam.
He wondered how he arrived there. He was driving out of his mind. He
went off his car and ran inside the empty park which was now a bit
sparkling and romantic white, but not to his sight.
It’s excruciating! … I could never forgive myself… He told himself
with an expression even he didn’t want. His feelings were a mixed of regret,
agony and some more unexplainable things.
There! He saw the old bridge, painted with snow flakes, and the
area under it was as usual dark and empty. He rushed into it carrying all the
burdens. As he penetrated into the gloomy place, he unhesitatingly sat down
and leaned his confused head against the stoned-wall. He tried to empty his
mind. The frostiness was no hindrance. The snow flakes couldn’t get into
the tunnel because it was not yet the tempest. He cleared his thoughts for
just a while—tried to breathe and calmed himself. Forget Morgan and Liam.
Forget the bargain.
After a while, when he thought he was gaining his composure, he
heard a familiar and sweet sound, which his ears were longing for. He

106
quickly opened his eyes but the place was dark. No brightness could totally
get into the tunnel.
The cry…
He listened to it for a while. Her cry was a melody to his ears—not
that he wanted to hear other people suffering but knowing that he had
finally found her. Does she know I’m here? Perhaps, Jayden instantly
concluded that it’s really the girl.
He looked at the edge of the tunnel where he thought the cry was
coming from. Though there was a little light, only the girl’s silhouette fit
into his skeptical eyes. Her long hair covered her entire face and her face
was buried by her hands. He heard her sad breaths. He wanted to speak but
his mouth wouldn’t just open. If she only knew how her presence gave back
life to Jayden. Jayden had his eyes fixed on hers.
All of a sudden, Jayden’s phone rang.
Damn it!
He immediately seized his phone from his pocket when the girl
spoke in alarm, “Who’s there?”
It seemed like Jayden had no choice but explain his side. He saw
the girl’s silhouette moving.
“Who’s there?” repeated the girl terrifyingly.
He found no escape; therefore, he gathered all his courage and
spoke, “Don’t be afraid. I will not hurt you.” His gorgeous yet cold voice
resonated. Then he saw the silhouette calming down.
“I’m sorry for scaring you,” he wondered where he got all this
courage. But he heard no response from the girl.
“And I’m sorry for not letting you know I’m here,” he added.
There was silence again. Jayden was feeling uneasy. He’s not used
being with girls and it’s the first time he’d been so close to one. He glanced
at her every now and then.

107
Then, right before his own ears, he thought she heard him say,
“May I know why you’re here?”
He was surprised, but he replied, “The tunnel serves as my refuge.”
“Refuge?” her voice was angelic.
“Yes,” he almost dropped his jaw. Her voice is as adorable as her
cry.
“There’s something I want to confess too,” said the girl.
Jayden was stunned. He widened his eyes to see the girl clearly but
the light outside was too bright.
“I’m sorry for last time,” she almost sighed.
Last time? Yeah, she dashed off the tunnel—leaving poor Jayden
so surprised. But it surprised him more that the girl didn’t forget.
Does it mean she knows that it was me? He couldn’t believe that
she’s actually talking with him. He gave a smile, but of course the girl
couldn’t see it because neither Jayden’s side had light.
“May I ask you a question?” asked the girl.
“Sure,” he replied right away.
“Why is this place a refuge to you?”
Jayden thought for awhile. The reason I go here is because of
you… No, she mustn’t know that, he thought. Instead he said, “Because
nobody will see me here…” Actually, he did tell truth.
There was silence—a tepid one; because it was obvious that both
of them wanted to say something but just couldn’t.
At long last, the girl spoke, “I go here because I thought nobody
would hear me cry…”
Jayden froze to shock.
“With that, nobody will know that I’m in pain and they would treat
me as natural as they could.”
Am I disappointing her? Jayden wondered in bewilderment.

108
“But… you came.” her voice was so sad.
Is she blaming me? Does she want me to leave?
“But…” Her voice—why does it sound gracious?
She continued, “But I… but I don’t mind if you’re here…”
A smile was drawn into his lips. What she said was music to his
ears.
“It’s fine with me…” she continued.
He felt better. The pain he had a while ago vanished.
Silence filled the area for a couple of five minutes.
“Are you still there?” asked the girl with her melancholic voice.
“Yes…” he responded almost in a whisper.
Then, Jayden was surprised to see her stood up to her feet.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes,” the silhouette from the other side softly answered.
Jayden stood also, and he asked, “Will you come back tomorrow?”
“I don’t know.”
There was disappointment in Jayden’s face. He saw her moved out
the tunnel. Her view’s getting clearer. Jayden saw her hair’s long and
body’s slender. Then, slowly she turned to him. He didn’t know if she was
seeing him, because he had actually and finally caught a sight of her
innocent and beautiful face, although it wasn’t that clear, but the fact that
her face’s form would now be retained into his mind—that’s no issue
anymore.
“Good night!” she bade without a smile but Jayden found the way
she spoke as charismatic as a lullaby.
Honestly, Jayden thought that tonight was the best he ever had
despite his encounter with Liam.

109
Chapter 10

110
The next morning, Leanne, Celina and Arthur sat at the dinning
table for breakfast. The environment was not good, not because the heater
wasn’t functioning and the entire dinning room was wintry, but the mother
and daughter, sitting opposite to each other, were as cold as the weather.
Celina wasn’t talking to Leanne. It’s as if she had no eyes to notice her.
Arthur devoured all the bread and asparagus soup on his bowl while Celina
barely touched the food.
Arthur told him, “Are you not eating?”
“I wanna make sure first that somebody didn’t put poison to my
food,” she’s referring to Leanne but the young lady didn’t react. She too
wasn’t eating. Her stare dropped dead at her plate.
Arthur gave a distasteful glare to Celina. Are you testing it to me?,
he might be thinking. However, Arthur still plunged the food into his
mouth. He spoke when he found the situation on edge.
“Leanne, I need $100 dollars today,” he told Leanne however he
didn’t hear any from her.
“I have to buy new pair of shoes and pants,” he grinned while
sucking the spoon into his mouth. “I’m applying for head assistant at JYL
Corporation,” he didn’t forget to add.
Finally, Celina replied in Leanne’s behalf, “Head assistant? You
didn’t even finish high school, Arthur.”
“Celina, I promise I’ll be hired.”
“You promised us eight times. Now is ninth.”
He groaned as he turned his look at the sober Leanne, “Just give
me the money. I’ll be returning it to you once I get hired.”
But Leanne still didn’t give any feedback.
“Are you deaf?!” obviously Arthur was getting pissed off of the
young lass’ submissive behavior. “Hey, I’m talking to you!!”

111
Celina looked at her but Leanne didn’t even lift her face.
“Why are you very selfish?!” he complained loudly.
“Stop that, Arthur!”
Leanne appallingly gawked at her mother. Her face was so pale
and her eyes were in shock. Arthur too was in shock and was even deprived
of words.
Celina took away her stare from Leanne and spoke with the air,
“Come and see me at Dae Joong Hotel.”
“What?” Arthur uttered.
“At nine tonight. No convent-sleeping,” and she left the room.
“That mother of yours!” Arthur finally recovered. He finished his
eating and reminded Leanne about the money he needed before he went out.

The breeze was cold and there were less people at Geu Sam.
Jayden wore a thick white sweater and on his neck was a beautiful
handmade sapphire blue scarf. He looked dashing and handsome as usual.
Snowfall was as tender as ever. It hit the brick walls of the bridge faintly
and Jayden seemed to enjoy catching every drop. Morgan even doubted the
weather.
“Winter this time is quite abnormal,” he stated.
But Jayden seemed like he wasn’t listening.
“Last year was ordinary.” He continued, “The news had no reports
of snow storms or whatsoever. Last year, we had plenty.”
Then, he detected Jayden doing something unusual.
“Were you just smiling?” he questioned seriously.
Jayden just gave him an uncertain but handsome gape.
“Let me guess—is that about that girl again?”
He didn’t answer but his smiles pestered Morgan. He looked down
the tunnel and Morgan followed his eyes.

112
“What’s in there?” inquired the nosy Morgan while pointing his
mouth down the tunnel.
He answered, “Nothing really,” stressing the word ‘nothing’.
Morgan wasn’t satisfied. He knew there was something he must
know but if Jayden didn’t wish to tell it to him, then, he had no right to
interfere into the young guy’s business.
“Hyung,” Jayden started the conversation this time, “Let’s go out
next time—with your family.”
He gave a nosy stare. What’s with this boy again?
“Let’s go to the mountains and spend a night there. Didn’t you tell
me Lily loves hot springs? I know of a place, which has excellent hot
springs, especially on winter days.”
“Jayden, are you sick?”
“No, Hyung!” he smiled. “I just want to celebrate my birthday with
you.”
“Birthday? But you hate celebrating your birthday.”
“Yes, I know. But I guess I’d love to try it now.”
“Well, apparently that’s a wonderful idea!” Morgan showed his
metallic braces as he smirked. “I’ll tell Lily and the boy; but, how about
Liam? What if he asks you? What will you tell him?”
“He won’t ask. Don’t worry.” Morgan saw the transformation of
his face.
“Ok!” He added, “So I guess, I have to set aside my other plans on
Christmas,” in a happy way.
Quickly, “We do it ahead of time, Hyung,” conveyed Jayden.
“You mean advance birthday celebration?”
Jayden nodded his head.
“But, why?”
“I think… I have other things to do on Christmas,” he retorted.

113
“Like what?”
“It will be better if I keep it within myself,” Jayden countered.
Morgan shrugged his shoulders once as a signal of defeat.
“Hey, Jayden!”
Jayden turned his face to Morgan.
“Guess what!”
What?
“Liam won’t…”
Liam won’t, what?
“Nothing. Forget it!”
He was just about to say that Boss Liam was terminating his
mission on Robert Lee, however, he thought that it was no importance to
Jayden.
After a short a while, Jayden received a call from Liam.
“What did he say?” asked Morgan.
“Scolding me again,” Jayden lied with a still face. “Do you want
coffee? My treat.”

After school, Leanne headed to the convent. It was her turn to read
the bible and Vanessa’s on the prayer. Subsequent to the daily worship,
Leanne went to the kitchen to wash the dishes and Vanessa escaped Sister
Mariette’s watchful eyes at the rosary room. She is supposed to help the nun
with the flowers for tomorrow’s little mass but she ran to the kitchen to
accompany Leanne.
Leanne told her about her misunderstanding with Celina the other
night, and she was irately bemused.
“She’s too much, Leanne!” she hollered. “How on earth will you
find a thousand dollar in three days?”

114
“You shouldn’t have given her anything at the first place. You’ve
spoiled her.”
“I know. But I had no choice, Vanessa.” Leanne continued, “She’s
my mother.”
“But she doesn’t act like a mother. She’s more a gorilla!”
Somehow, Leanne smiled.
“You know what, you should always smile, Leanne,” Vanessa
praised. “You turn ugly when you frown.”
“Hey,” Leanne noticed Vanessa’s blushing cheeks. “What
happened to your face? You’re red, Vanessa.”
“Well, I just met the man of my dreams, Leanne! Would you
believe it?”
“Really?”
She nodded like her head would any time fall apart.
“Yes! Winter is really romantic!”
“Have you talked to him?” she’s happy for Vanessa.
“Yes, a bit… It was a little awkward though,” she answered.
“How was the experience?”
“I don’t know! It was exciting, yet nerve-breaking but quixotic.”
“So that is how first love feels…” Leanne commented, enunciating
every word clearly and slowly. She sounded somewhat dreamy.
“Yes!! He was like protecting me, you know.”
Protecting you?
Leanne questioned, “How will you know that you love him?”
“Um…Love comes without knocking at your door. It comes
unexpectedly, Leanne,” she said. “Hey, why are you asking me? Have you
met yours too?”
“No,” she plainly answered.
“Of course, you don’t like boyfriends.”

115
Leanne just smiled while doing the last plate. “The convent is my
place, Vanessa. I’m not marrying.”
“Let us see!” Vanessa teased.
After her duty and before leaving, she told Vanessa and the nuns
that she wouldn’t be spending the night with them.
As what her mother told her, Leanne went to the hotel. She waited
for Celina at the lobby. She had no idea why she was there until a man, the
waiter maybe, came and brought her to a private room for VIPs only. She
wondered why she was taken there.
The place was cozy. There was a long large red leather chaise
lounge and a gold-plated round center table. The windows were humungous
draped with emerald green velvet curtains. The chandelier at the ceiling was
simple yet elegant. It looked like old gem crystals in the form of candles.
After a while, Celina arrived. She’s with a skinny stern-looking
woman. She did not look like she’s old—perhaps a year older than Celina.
“Madame Sophia, my daughter, Leanne Chae,” Celina introduced
the young lady to the woman whose clothes were evidently expensive. She
had large pieces of jewelry around her neck, fingers and wrists. Her
delicately lovely ears were festooned with shimmering pearls embroidered
with little diamonds around. She’s obviously and wickedly rich.
She sat gracefully opposite to Celina. Leanne noticed the woman’s
scrutinizing eyes.
“Is she the one?” she firmly asked with her eyes strict as ever.
Celina nodded.
Leanne decided not to open her mouth. She was entirely ignorant
about the situation she’s in. She wanted to ask her Celina but she just could
not.
“Can she really do it?” asked the woman, Sophia. She sounded like
she’s making sure.

116
“Yes, Madame,” answered Celina with a light expression on her
face.
“Okay,” she said with full of air. “She’s hired.”
What? Me? Hired?
“So when will she start?” Celina almost jumped off her seat.
“I’ll just inform you,” she gave another austere look to Leanne,
who was awfully curious. “And besides, my brother hasn’t returned home
yet.”
“Well, I am just hoping she could start tomorrow…” Celina said.
“Why in a hurry?”
“Well, we had a lot of expenses,” she tried to sound funny but the
woman didn’t even give a sign of amusement.
“Well, I think your expenses will have to wait. Thank you for
responding. I’m leaving,” Sophia gracefully plunked her feet at the marbled
floor and didn’t hesitate to leave.
Once the superfluously affluent woman had left, Celina groused,
“Oh, I hate that woman!”
“What?” she saw Leanne’s inquisitive stare.
“Stop staring at me like you’re gonna eat me alive,” she conveyed.
Celina was certainly annoyed.
“Mama, who was that woman and what were the two of you
talking about?”
“I found you a job,” Celina abruptly retorted.
Job?
“That terrible rich woman needs you to pretend.”
Pretend?!
“She lost her niece twenty years ago, and now her brother’s
coming back to see the girl.”
Does she want me to pretend that I am her brother’s daughter?

117
“Aarrgghh, why does she have to make us wait?!”
Leanne couldn’t believe what her mother did.
I can’t pretend. I just can’t do it. Her heart was beating loudly—
tempestuously.

Jayden’s phone kept on ringing but the young man had no plan of
answering Liam’s calls. He was under the bridge again—waiting for the
mysterious girl to come. He waited there for straight three hours but there
was no single hint of the girl’s coming.
Maybe, she’s not really coming…
The snow fall was not harsh. The tiny flakes touched his skin
softly, but he it didn’t bother him. He was too disappointed to think of
winter, and besides he never liked winter.
He decided of leaving. Just as he went out of the tunnel, he saw
two people quarrelling at the swings. The girl’s cry was loud that he could
hear it.
That girl…
“I told you, I’m ready to give it up,” cried the girl.
The boy wasn’t talking.
Jayden drew himself nearer and hid behind the thin trunk of the fig
tree. He’s sure. Her cry was similar to the girl he knew. Could she be her?
But her hair’s short. The thought of having a haircut entered his mind.
“That’s not the issue!” finally countered the boy.
“If it’s about my parents, I’ll talk to them.”
“I told you, it’s not about your parents or about you.”
“Then tell me—what is it?”
The girl was really crying hard. Jayden thought he knew the reason
why the girl was in pain—he knew why she’d always cry and hid in the

118
tunnel. He didn’t understand himself. He felt a strong thing crushing and
tearing his heart into pieces, but it was not easy to decipher.
“Let’s break up!” said the boy.
“No!” bawled the girl. “You can’t do this to me!”
“I’m sorry but I made a mistake of choosing you,” and the boy left.
He could see the girl shedding every precious tear she had.
Something deep inside was forcing him to console her, but his mind was
dictating his body to leave the girl alone. But in the end, he saw himself
standing beside the swing where the girl was hopelessly crying. He offered
his handkerchief.
“That guy is not worth crying for,” he stated.
She accepted his handkerchief and she didn’t look surprised of his
presence.
“How do you know?”
“Because love is not easy to forget,” he was unconscious of the
words that came out of his mouth.
“Did you see everything?”
He nodded as he sat at the swing next beside her.
The girl laughed, “Did I look stupid?”
“Yeah, a bit,” his tone was sad.
He could now clearly see her face. He was right—she’s beautiful
only that her hair was shorter. However he did not dare ask.
They had all night in silence, but when the girl bade farewell it was
the time Jayden let go of his fear.
“Name? Any name?”
The girl smiled and answered, “Vanessa.”
Vanessa…

119
The next day at school, Quintin bragged about their Christmas
vacation. Of course, the other boys were envious of him. He told Teacher
Leanne about it and even offered her a slot in the car.
“I’m sure you’ll love it, Teacher!”
Morgan told him about Jayden’s idea for his birthday, and the little
boy was exceedingly over-joyed.
“Thanks but no thanks, Quintin,” she answered.
“But why?” he thought he’s going to cry.
Leanne remembered about the job her mother had for her. The
woman said she’d call a week before her brother arrives. Though, the young
lass hadn’t thought about it, Celina would go furious on her if she disobeys
her.
“Well, teacher will be busy this Christmas.”
“Will you go somewhere else?” Quintin was thinking that Leanne
might be spending her Christmas with Philip.
“Let’s say ‘yes’,” she responded.
“At Philip’s house?!” he angrily yelled.
“No! What made you think about that?” She explained, “I don’t
even think I’ll be spending Christmas, Quintin.”
“Oh, sorry…” shyly apologized the boy. “How am I gonna give
you my gift?”
“You silly!” she smiled.

The nuns of St. Therese Convent were busy for Christmas. They
would be having an outreach program for street children, wherein the kids
would have the opportunity to undergo literacy program. They would also
be given shelter for a week at the convent and the nuns should provide
everything for them. Since the Pre-school would be closing down for two
weeks, Leanne would have all her time at the convent regardless the idea of

120
the recent ‘job’ she’d probably refuse. Sister Charis asked her if she could
teach music and reading to the kids, and wholeheartedly she accepted it.
She loved kids dearly.
The snow outside her window was shimmering like diamonds.
They danced at her sight. Everything beyond the old walls of her room was
white like cottons. How she wished she could go out and play with the snow
fairies, but she had mild cold. Remember the night she went out of her
house—the night she quarreled with Celina? Well, she wondered at the
lonely pavements of her place and she caught cold.
Vanessa came rushing to her room with a bright expression on her
face. She told her about her break-up with Marco.
“But you don’t look depressed?” Leanne was expecting a more
dramatic entrance for Vanessa.
“Well because Marco isn’t worth crying for!”
Leanne smirked.
“A friend told me that…” her smile was adorable. “And he’s really
—as in really—good-looking!”
“He?”
“Yes!”
“Do I know him?” she has her eyes on her shelf.
“What are you finding?” Vanessa questioned as she tried to help
her with the books.
“I don’t know…” she replied. “I think I lost something.”
“Oh, anyway I don’t think you know him,” said Vanessa, her gawk
at the occupied Leanne. “Hey, what’s this?” she asked when she saw
something unusual at Leanne’s table. She held on her hands a glistening
silver watch. Obviously, it’s a watch but what Vanessa meant was why it
was on Leanne’s possession.

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“Oh, that one…” Leanne didn’t know how to explain it. She
gathered all the possible escapes on her mind—she didn’t even know why
she had to lie—but she just couldn’t think right, perhaps the cold hindered
her from thinking well. “The boys found it and Trevor was so worried that
the owner would kill him if he knew that he had it. So, I told them I’ll take
care of it.”
“Do you even know who owns it?” Vanessa continued asking
while her eyes were on the flashing gems of the watch.
“I hope I would.” her answer was conveyed gradually and
carefully.
“Oh, my!” Vanessa gasped. “He’s sure rich!”
“Now, kindly return it on my table, Vanessa,” she told her. “Its
value is worth more than my one-year pay.”
Then, Vanessa carefully laid the watch back on the wooden table.

“Written there are the conditions,” Jayden reminisced what Liam


Yoon told him about the bargain. His eyes were seriously focused on the
documents—not moving—petrified. “You will have Thomas as your back-
up.”
He thought, Is he really serious?
“Hey, Jayden Lee!” Morgan called.
He immediately placed the papers on the envelope, looking
troubled.
“What are those?”
“Nothing…” Morgan severely eyed him.
“Seriously, Hyung.”
“Fine! Come on, Quintin’s dying to see you.”
And he slid the envelope into his backpack. It’s exactly two weeks
before Christmas, and today they’d be leaving for Jayden’s birthday

122
celebration. They would be spending two days and two nights at the island.
Classes were down yesterday and Quintin was able to bade farewell and
greet a Happy Christmas to Teacher Leanne.
But for Jayden, this happy vacation meant two days of Liam-less
life and two nights of missing Vanessa.

Chapter 11

123
Leanne was entirely taken aback when she learned from the
landlady that Celina had already paid their rent. She was just about to ask
for an extension when this great and shocking news bewildered her. It’s
really unbelievable for Mama to do it.
Vanessa wouldn’t be part of the convent’s Christmas Celebration.
Her Grandmother, her father’s aunt, summoned her when she knew of her
despicable behavior—running away from home and the idea of becoming a
nun. She told Leanne that it would be impossible for her to come back. Her
aunt, she said, is Cruella Devil. She would be leaving for Australia three
days after.
However, what made Vanessa sadder was that she would never see
the man of her dreams ever again. But she promised she’d try her best to
convince her Dad and Aunt Taylor.
The entire exterior of the convent was white, enveloped with soft
sparkling and cold ice. Literacy Program had started and the kids were a
day present with the nuns. Philip was there to help too since he knew a little
of the piano and the harmonica.
Celina, though remarkably true, didn’t rob Leanne’s happiness to
help others if only she agrees to accept the job Madame Sophia offered her.
Leanne said she would have another second-thought about it, nevertheless,
Celina still endowed her her Christmas obsession—being with children.

After two days and two nights at the beautiful island in the south,
Jayden and Morgan’s family returned home. They arrived at Morgan’s
house nine at the evening but Jayden hurried to go somewhere else.
He lied to them, “I’m going home now. I’m really exhausted but I
enjoyed—really!”

124
The ice that blocked the roads was shoveled but the cement’s wet
and slippery; however, Jayden couldn’t get rid of driving fast.
He arrived at Geu Sam not more than fifteen minutes. Like as
usual, the gates were already closed. But he forced himself inside, and
besides no cops would be patrolling tonight—he’s sure!
He hurried to the tunnel but he was upset when he heard no cry or
even gasps. He moved closer to the other side, but she wasn’t there. He
looked at the swing but it’s empty. He waited but still Vanessa didn’t come.
Frustration seemed to devour his entire self.
All of a sudden, he heard a creepy but tender voice behind him.
“Are you looking for a beautiful girl?”
He turned to see who it is. A kind face of an old woman welcomed
him.
“Grandma?”
“I live across the street,” said the old woman. She wore long cotton
pajamas and a brown sweater. “She was here yesterday and the other day.
She was waiting for somebody who I think is you… Because I live just in
front of the gates, I always notice her entering the park late at night and
sometimes you through my little window. I was surprised when she
knocked at my door last night.”
Jayden was paying attention very well, not letting any word slip
from his ears.
The old woman persisted, “She gave me this.” And she handed a
paper carefully folded. Jayden received it with both hands. His heart seemed
to tremble. “She asked me if I could give this to you if ever I see you enter
the gates.”
“Thank you, Grandma,” his voice was hopeful. And Grandma
slowly moved her legs and departed.
He opened the letter and it read:

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Hi! It seems like you are busy with things. I don’t
hear any from you now. Honestly, I’m getting
worried. Anyway, there’s something I wish to tell you.
Will you please see me on Wednesday?

Wednesday? That’ll be tomorrow!


Actually, after reading her little letter, Jayden smiled. She wants to
see me… He didn’t understand what he was feeling. He felt like he wanted
to laugh and cry at the same time. It felt light. He felt his cheeks would any
time burn. The feeling was amazing, he thought.
But then, he out of the blue remembered the bargain.
Wednesday? The bargain?
The unparalleled smile drawn on his lips were replaced by fear and
disbelief. He almost forgot about the bargain. It would happen tomorrow.
He thought how a little time of happiness could be easily robbed from him
by some unwanted decisions. I shouldn’t have said ‘yes’ but how about
Morgan? The tears of joy were no longer sweet. Apparently, Jayden was in
a dilemma.
Morgan or her?
Because of too much disbelief, all he did was lean his aching head
against the brick wall of the bridge. How he wished he could just smash it
and leave all the blood spread on the white snow. But death means
goodbye.
He thought of it again.
I have to choose. There is no other option. He could sense his heart
thumping bizarrely.
Morgan or her? The phrase kept on repeating in his mind.

126
Jayden was already up when Liam entered his room. As a matter of
fact, he didn’t sleep.
Liam grinned. Thomas laid on his table a heavy rectangular box
wrapped in burnished happy red paper with a large white ribbon on top.
Liam greeted, “Merry Christmas and a Happy Birthday, Jayden
Lee!” tauntingly.
Jayden removed his irritated stare.
“I hope it can help you tonight,” his evil smirk is pure—
uncontaminated. “That’s the best as far as technology is concerned.”
Liam sat on the couch, raised his leg and crossed it with the other
one. “Are you nervous?”
He didn’t answer.
“Don’t worry, you’ll do well—you always does,” as-a-matter-of-
factly said Liam.
“So how’s your escapade? Did you enjoy it?” Liam seemed
friendly to his ears now.
Please leave me alone!!
“Now then, I’ll leave you,” he stood up. “Take your day resting for
tonight, I guess, will be something you wish will never happen.” And
there’s that horrible and wicked grin.
I know, he told himself.

Leanne was prolifically teaching the little kids how to read


‘prayer’, when Sister Marilyn came and told her, “Mother Superior wishes
to see you, Leanne.”
Thus, Sister handled the kids for her.
Sister Jasmine’s affable and genial beam didn’t make her anxious.
Genuinely, the nun’s friendly gestures and smile uplift her soul. It’s the
second time she’s beckoned. What is it she wants to talk about now?

127
The sanguine nun offered her a seat.
“How are you now?” she inquired softly.
Leanne smiled, “Everything’s fine, Sister.”
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
Leanne was baffled. There’s nothing she wanted to tell her. How
could she say that?
She moved hear head from right to left, entailing a ‘no’.
“Miss Chae, can I call you your name?”
“Of course, Sister.”
“Thank you! I think it would be better and convenient for me to
call you Leanne, Leanne.”
Leanne smiled.
“Sister, may I ask you something.”
Sister Jasmine bended over her way and listened.
“How…did you know that…being…being a nun is your…
calling?”
“There, Leanne! I was just waiting for that!” she smiled. “That
wasn’t so hard to ask, was it, young lady?”
However, Leanne was still troubled that he couldn’t force herself
to smile for Sister Jasmine’s sake.
“Anyway,” she detected the young lass’ confused and cheerless
air. “I wanted to become a nurse, actually.”
Leanne hauled her head up.
“I also wanted to have my own family… Do you see this ring?”
she revealed a tiny gold ring on her necklace as she removed her collar. “As
a matter of fact, I was engaged.”
Huh?
She continued, “I’ll cut it there so that there will be a reason for me
to see you again.” She smiled.

128
“But one thing I’d like to tell you, dear. There will always be
struggles that’ll come your way, and you have to think wisely. Never ever
jump to conclusions without weighing things first.”

“Jayden!” Morgan called. He ran down the stairs to catch up with


the fast Jayden. “There is something you must know.”
“Not now, Hyung,” he said as he wore his black jacket.
“Where are you going?” Morgan got curious.
“I’m going for…a drive,” he lied.
He looked at the grandfather’s clock near the staircase. It’s passed
seven. It wasn’t snowing hard. The moon was shinning brightly at the
starless sky. The cars were outside waiting and Morgan had no idea about
this. Liam was intently looking at them from the loggia at the second floor.
“Hyung, let’s talk later,” he accelerated.
“It’s about the girl!”
Jayden paused. What about Vanessa?
“You must know this, Jayden.”
He saw Liam staring at him like he’s telling him the consequence,
then he turned to the Grandfather’s clock. It’s 7:15.
He moved his legs and said, “I’ll listen to you later, Hyung.”
“No, this is important, Jayden. Vanessa… Vanessa is…”
“Morgan!!” Liam called from above. “Didn’t I tell you to contact
the Senator?”
Morgan looked disappointed, “Yes, Boss.” And he slowly left.
Jayden was left frozen, wondering about what Morgan would like
to tell him. Then, he saw Liam signaled out. He pointed out the door.

When he got inside the car, a henchman beside him told him to
wear a protective jacket beneath his shirt. He also took his wallet and cell

129
phone. He said Liam clearly ordered it. Thomas is driving for him. Two
other cars were following them. Liam gave him ten henchmen tonight, but it
felt different without Morgan. His heart was throbbing recklessly. His
palms and back were wet. He saw through the side mirrors the silver cars
behind them, flashing their head lights like they’re shouting SOS.
The bargain bothered his mind.
“It’s a great offer, Jayden,” Liam said enthusiastically. “You
won’t regret you agreed.”
“I’m doing this for Morgan and not for you.”
Liam laughed, “Fine! That was what he also told me.”
“What?”
“Didn’t you know? … That stupid man told me to give him your
mission.”
He continued, “Well, he said Robert Lee would be easy for him.
No matter how he tried to keep it, I knew that he only wanted to spare
you… Since when did Morgan become your slave, Jayden?”
“Morgan isn’t my slave!”
Liam grinned, “Oh, really? Poor Morgan! He seemed to me!”
There was silence.
“I’m doing it.”
“Great! Morgan won’t know anything about it.”
“If I do it, what’ll happen to me?”
Liam crossed his legs and thought for a while and he talked. “It
depends, young man. Honestly, after tonight I’m not even sure if I’m seeing
you.”
The thought hurt his mind that he didn’t notice that they’re already
there. Thomas told him to be ready. The other boys set themselves at the
parameter of the hotel. Robert Lee, after his assassination plot controversy,
which was plotted by the House of Yoon, of course, had no time for rests.

130
JYL Corporation played a great deal in the stock exchange of six countries
worldwide, and as President of the large empire, any murder could never
stop him from 24-hour meetings and heavy transactions with foreign
investors. However, the National Defense secured to have their eyes on the
rich and influential man wherever he went. They provide him skilled body
guards to protect him and spy cameras were installed to places where he’s
going. A special tracking device on the satellite, initiated by the FBI and
NASA, was invented just to secure this person’s life.
Therefore, tonight was not an easy moment for Jayden or for the
other gangsters. Just a small mistake could kill him or worse—all of them.
Ten other people with him was quite a good disguise because
having a massive number would expose their conspiracy. They were to
wear strict national uniforms as camouflage while he had to suit himself
with a coat and tie. Tonight, Jayden would be playing a character in a
television drama. He’d disguise himself as a cellist whose cello was
replaced by a high resolution and zooming system laser rifle. He would
have the basement of the second floor as his haven to accomplish the task.
Just one shot and I’ll go, he thought. Thomas will be following his trail and
the others would keep their eyes on Lee.
Now, they’re entering the suite where Mr. Robert Lee would meet
some Chinese and Malaysian investors. Jayden gawked at his watch. It’s
five minutes before eight. Three men would be left outside with the cars
ready, and the other seven would come along with him. Thomas handed
him a wireless earphone. With this, he would be able to contact them.
The meeting would be downstairs. Robert Lee obviously prepared
a ball for his visitors who had no idea about the chaos that was awaiting
them.
He entered the basement easily without any conspicuous
intervention from the body guards. He placed his heavy cello case on the

131
floor, removed his coat, loosened his tie, unbuttoned his shirt that revealed a
small part of his breathtaking ivory neck, and looked for a wall where he
could hollow out a hole where he could see his target and shoot him from
up there. Everything was ready—two henchmen on the second floor,
roaming like body guards—other two on the ball floor—other one at the
elevator—one at the hotel lobby for back-up—and Thomas at the exit
(backdoor near the restroom) where they would escape after the
assassination.
Actually, he had no idea why Liam was hunting this man. Yet, he
couldn’t do anything.
He peered through his rifle. There he could see Robert Lee,
smiling like he’s running for Congressman. Jayden was looking for the best
part to shoot, Would it be his head or his stomach or his heart?, when he
received a call from his man at the lobby.
“Blueberry!” he whispered.
Then, another call from the elevator, “Blueberry!” Subsequent
calls followed, and finally he got Thomas’ signal.
I’m doing this…because I have no other option. He felt the rubber
holding of his riffle wet. He could hear his heart thudding like the
thunderous gallops of a horse. He pierced through his rifle’s eyepiece gain
when he remembered what Liam told him last, “You… do it, Jayden—and
that’ll be your last.”
He promised! I know Liam is a man of his words.
It’s 8:01 on his watch, but why isn’t he firing?
Thomas called him again, “Jayden Lee, what do you think you’re
doing?”
He felt his hands trembling and numbing.
I can’t shoot him… He’s moving… what if I shoot the wrong
person?

132
Another minute passed and Thomas was pressuring him, “Shoot
him now, Jayden!”
Liam’s evil face penetrated into his mind, and he heard Thomas’
annoying voice once more. He told him coldly, “Shut up, will you?” as he
tried to zoom the scope. He’s now directing his shot to the man’s heart.
“What are you waiting for?!”
He could feel large drops of sweat pouring down his forehead.
They’re hurting his eyes.
It’s 8:03 and Jayden hadn’t done any move yet.
Just one shot, Jayden Lee… One shot and everything will be
over… he told himself. He tightened his grip and took a deep breath.
Robert Lee’s face was smiling. He got no idea he’ll be dying.
Jayden directed his shot to the businessman’s heart. He’ll drop-dead, of
course.
Before he knew it, he heard his rifle’s striking shot. People below
were in a chaotic motion, but that didn’t bother him, neither Thomas’ calls.
His eyes widened as he saw another man lying motionless on top
of the unharmed Robert Lee. There was blood. The red carpet was even
redder and darker as the dead man’s blood spread on it and over his body.
Though there were screams from the people, Jayden could only hear his
heartbeat pounding slowly and a painful sound in his ears. His eyes couldn’t
believe the thing he was seeing.
There’s a man…
It was unbearable—the heavy rock on his back. It was as if it’s
grinding him into pieces.
Morgan… Morgan… Morgan…
He killed him.
I…I killed… him…
He dropped his rifle, however his mind was still empty of shock.

133
Little by little, he could hear Thomas’ voice from his earphone,
commanding him to stay at the basement and wait for him there.
No, he couldn’t do that. Morgan was there. He’s dead.
“Listen, Jayden. It will be okay… We’ll settle it,” Thomas’ voice
was shaking and panicky.
Morgan… Morgan… Morgan…
He was gasping for air—really hard. The basement seemed so
small for him. He’s getting dizzy. His sight was a bit unclear now, thus he
shut his eyes, trying to suppress the intolerable pain. His mind carried on
repeating Morgan’s name. It’s echoing through his ears till it reached his
nerves.
Morgan… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…
Then, because he was too numb to feel his legs moving, he was
actually deserting the basement, leaving the rifle Liam gave him as present
and the medium of Morgan’s death. He didn’t know what he’s doing.
From the balcony, he saw Morgan’s body, helplessly and
unconsciously lying, investigated by the police. He didn’t notice Robert
Lee’s absence; neither did the police notice him frigidly walking towards
Morgan’s dead body.
All of a sudden, he felt a tight clutch on his arm.
Thomas.
He could feel his nervousness despite his deadness.
Thomas whispered into his ears, “Let’s go, Jayden. The cops had
been in the basement… They didn’t catch you or me… But you left your
things there… But that doesn’t bother now… We… We have to leave…
now.”
Still, his regretful and emotionless eyes were on Morgan’s poor
body. Morgan… I can’t leave him.

134
“Come on!!” Thomas was strongly yet gently pulling the
disbelieving young man. He was trying not to expose themselves. The
police were roaming around the large hall—attempting to find the assassins.
Soon, they arrived at the car. Thomas didn’t wait for any second to
pass. He drove as fast as he could. He could see through the mirror Jayden’s
stagnant expression but he didn’t dare to speak.
After they passed through the check-point, Thomas thought Jayden
spoke, “Stop the car.”
Yet, Thomas did not.
“Stop the car!!”
And he did, with a cynical reason.
Jayden opened the passenger door and silently left.
Thomas called, “Where are you going?”
Jayden did not answer. Nonetheless, Thomas did not anymore
trouble himself with the guy’s weird behavior.

Morgan’s dead body kept flashing on his mind. He’s sure—he


killed him. He wanted to release the tension, but the burden wouldn’t just
let go. Nobody knew where he was absent-mindedly strolling. The streets
were dark and wet with snow and only Morgan’s face was on his memory.
Despite the irresistible guilt deep within him, he’s sure of one thing—I
killed him…
Why did I kill him? … Why did he save that man’s life?
The place was as silent, as empty and as dark as his heart. The cold
breeze of the wind couldn’t even replace the emptiness he felt.
I’m a murderer… I killed my best friend…
“Well,” a coarse voice penetrated his ears. “Look what we have
here!”

135
There were about five of them. They looked like they are drunk.
They smelled. However, Jayden was in no mood to mingle with these
people. They’re a waste of time. As a matter of fact, he didn’t even notice
they were there.
The other man’s face was almost kissing Jayden’s handsome face,
but the young lad wasn’t moved.
“Hey, what’s your problem??!!” the third man sounded angry.
Perhaps he was annoyed by Jayden’s eerie silence.
“Look at his pocket!” commanded the first man. “We might find
something valuable.” He turned to face Jayden and lifted his face, “What a
beautiful face! Oh, how I hope I’m as handsome as you.” Then, he
tauntingly laughed.
Yet, Jayden didn’t move a finger.
“His pocket’s empty!”
“What kind of man are you?!” he pushed him. “Take his watch!”
The first man murmured, “He’s as useless as a rat!” And the others
laughed.
All of a sudden, the man felt a hard box on his face. Jayden did it.
He probably heard what he said—and he didn’t like it.
They saw his eyes—torrid black like there were flames. There was
no single mark of agony on them.
“He’s a monster,” cried one of them.
Jayden didn’t like it either.
He started the fight but there were five of them.
I didn’t kill Morgan!! I did not!, his mind whispered. He was
receiving all the punches.
This time, he’s the one being beaten—very opposite from what it
used to be.

136
He could hear their laughs but there was one laugh that
overpowered them all. It was a familiar one—very evil—dark—envious.
Then, out of the blue, he’s seeing Liam Yoon’s face everywhere.
The fire inside him leveled up, and hatred was there. He saw
nothing but Liam. He felt like he wanted to murder the man. He was seeing
only dark and Liam’s malevolent face. He felt his fists hitting large solid
barricades but it didn’t hurt him. The pain was deep; he couldn’t even
explain where it was now.
Till he no longer feel anything on his fists. Liam was gone too.
Slowly, the flicker of the lamp post brightened his sight. He dropped unto
his knees and leaned against the wall of the pavement. He’s seeing
everything clearer now. He saw four immobile bodies of men beside him,
but they weren’t dead. They were still breathing, though hardly.
He closed his eyes and from there he didn’t remember what
happened next.

Chapter 12

137
“Now, will you please answer me as honest as you can, Sir,” a
gentle-looking old woman with a black veil said. “What is your name and
where do you live?”
“I don’t know,” it was a glum and cold voice but…
The woman gave a dissatisfied stare. She continued, “Don’t you
remember anything about yourself?”
He moved his head sideways.
“Not even a single thing?”
“I told you I don’t remember any.”
The woman sighed, then she called for Sister Mariette. She told
her, “Please lead our visitor to his room.”
“Yes, Sister Jasmine.”
The young man whose face now had few swollen and ugly purple
injuries awkwardly stood to his feet and followed the skinny but round-
faced nun, Sister Mariette.
As the nun opened the door, three other nuns were embarrassingly
standing along the corridor of Sister Jasmine’s office. They were probably
eavesdropping.
He looked at them hatefully. There was no smile on his lips. His
face appeared better now than what is used to be two days ago.
When the young man was nowhere to be seen, the three nuns
began talking about him.
“Forgive me Lord, but he’s snobbish!”
“Oh, I regret being a nun,” mourned the girl at the middle.
“Hush, Sister Jacquelyn! We are nuns,” fired the thinner one with
glasses, Sister Linda. “Therefore, we must avoid any form of temptation.”
“Oh, but he’s so…”
“Yes, Sister Jacquelyn?” Sister Jasmine was already behind them.

138
“Sister Jasmine?!” she looked startled. She almost jumped off her
place. The other two nuns seemed mortified. Of all people, why Mother
Superior?
“What were you just saying about the young man?” her voice was
calm but threatening.
Sister Jacquelyn got her tongue bitten, “Nothing, Sister.”
Mother Superior smiled and left.
“Thank You, Lord!” gasped Sister Eva.
“You should be very careful with your tongue next time, Sister
Jacquelyn,” cautioned Sister Linda.

There library of the convent was turned into a classroom


temporarily because of the Christmas activity the nuns were holding.
Leanne was there and Philip too. She’s teaching reading now and
later this music.
The kids were hyper. For five days, the kids had transformed into
good readers but not really experts yet. All the story books Leanne gave
them were properly treasured and read.
Sister Jasmine entered the library and asked Leanne a piece of her
time.
They had a talk that lasted only for quite a time, and the congenial
nun left. She said, “I’ll have to visit Mr. Dong’s interment now.”
Leanne was sorry for Quintin. She had already shown her
condolence. She was there last night and the other night. Quintin was very
and superbly indescribably depressed of his Dad’s death. It came as a shock
to them—him and his mother Lily. He told Leanne about this year’s
Christmas as the worst thing that happened in his entire youthful life. He
lost his Dad and his best friend whom he considered his older brother. Lily
once had a talk with Leanne, and she described her son’s despair as a

139
malicious tragedy that would probably soon commit suicide to his beloved
son.
“I’m so sorry for him,” she wept. “He lost Morgan and now he has
no idea about his Hyung’s whereabouts.”
Lily also opened the idea of migrating to Australia after the
shocking incident of her husband. She said it would be good for the both of
them. Of course, Leanne didn’t object even though it meant goodbye
forever to her lovable student. Lily asked her if she could tell Quintin about
it because she knew that the boy only listened to her.
Last night, she got the chance to tell Quintin her mother’s
suggestion. Fortunately, the little boy didn’t oppose. He said, “I will go,
teacher. And when I come back, I’ll avenge for Dad…” His voice was dark
yet little, “When I come back, I’ll be strong like my Hyung… And I will
also find him, and our family will be united again.”
In all honesty, avenging was Leanne’s greatest enemy. She
educated the downtrodden boy, “Quintin, revenge is not good. What God
wants—what your Dad wants now is that you and Mom live a new life…
Will you promise me to be a good boy and stop thinking about revenge?”
She didn’t hear any response from the boy’s lips but she trusted
him.

Philip, while writing his name on a sheet of paper, asked Leanne,


“Noona, what’s the name of the new guy?”
Leanne wondered, “Why are you asking, Philip?”
“Nothing really, but he’s like a new boy in a new school,” he
answered. “I want to befriend him because I don’t want him to feel alone
like what I did on the first day at Pre-school. It was dreadful, Noona.”
Leanne greatly appreciated the little boy. She fondled his hair and
smiled, “But won’t you get disappointed if he rejects you?”

140
“I don’t think he’ll reject friendship,” he beamed with a touch of
intellect. “Everyone of us needs friends.”
“I can’t believe you said that!” she exclaimed joyfully.
“Seriously, Noona, is he really conceited? I heard Sister Marilyn
and Sister Grace telling he’s conceited.”
She replied, “I don’t know, Philip. I haven’t seen him since the
first day he arrived.”
“But why?”
“Because Sister Jasmine said to stay away from him.”
“Did Mother Superior actually say that?”
She nodded.
“Oh,” Philip moaned with frustration. “He must be very
conceited.”
“Well, don’t make conclusions yet, young boy. You haven’t even
met him.”

The next day, the nuns scraped off the big block of ice on the
convent’s yard. The yard would serve as the parking lot for their visitors.
Today was an exhibition of the street children’s artworks and three of them
would be performing on the piano for the guests. Of course, it was Leanne’s
idea for a fund-raising.
In a small room with an old fireplace that kept the place warm
during winter was the guy described by some nuns as conceited. The room
was almost empty except for the bed, a table and a chair. He never went out
of his room unless he wished to. He had been unconscious for two days, and
yesterday morning he just woke up remembering nothing—not even his
name.

141
He felt a whole lot better today than yesterday though he had a
broken arm and few broken ribs. But the doctor said he’ll recover in no
time.
He sat on his windowsill staring at the snowy white tree outside his
window. It was lifeless.
On top of his bed was a paper bag. The friendly nun yesterday
gave it to him. There were clothes in it. She said those were he had when
they found him. The nuns had cleaned and ironed it for him, but of course,
Mr. Sang, the plumber, had most of the work done.
On his hand was a piece of paper. What was written there just
disturbed him. He remembered what the nun had told him about the paper.
It could help him remember his past.
But how ever he tried to delve into his memory, there’s nothing he
could retain but the scene he saw as he first opened his eyes from a deep
sleep.
Someone knocked at his door, “May I come in?”
It sounded like that old nun.
Sister Jasmine entered with the usual coy and sunny smile on her
face. She greeted, “I’m sorry for not waiting for your reply, but you seemed
like you had no plan of opening the door for me. How are you feeling
now?”
Yet, the young guy’s eyes weren’t at the nun. They were still
outside wandering around for refuge and security.
She was neither disappointed nor happy of his rudeness but the nun
seemed to understand what he’s undergoing. She told him, “Sister Mariette
won’t be bringing you food now. All of them are busy downstairs. If you’re
hungry, please help yourself to the kitchen. You’re free to go there.” She
added, “If you want you can attend the little performance of our little kids.
You’ll enjoy it, for sure.”

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He didn’t answer.
“Well, I’m leaving now. Bless you, Sir.” and Sister Jasmine left.

There were many people who went to see the exhibit. The library
now was turned into a gallery where all artworks would be displayed as the
convent had no enough rooms to use. The books were for awhile stashed in
the storage room where unused wood and materials were stocked. It was
located right beside the little church.
The nuns, for days, had their time busy spending on the stage.
They hired a carpenter to build a tent for the musical performance. The
event would be held at the backyard given that there was enough space for a
mini concert there.
The concert had started. A flabby looking kid was going to sing a
lullaby and his voice was so loud that it even penetrated through the thick
walls of the convent to the young guy’s ears.
He was striding along the corridors—looking for the kitchen. He’s
hungry now, he thought.
Finally, he found the kitchen. He went to the fridge but found
nothing that attracted his appetite. He went to see the pot but was horrified
to see something he’d never seen before—he guessed.
“Oh! Are you hungry?” asked a young lady who happened to see
him as she entered the kitchen to get a task done.
The guy quickly answered coldly, “Never mind. Forget it!”
“But you haven’t eaten any meal yet this morning,” she sounded
concerned.
“Well, you should have thought about that earlier,” he stated. The
young lady was aghast to his reply. He continued, “You should have
brought food into my room and not let visitors wander at such creepy
place.”

143
What?
“And I don’t want those kinds of food,” he pointed at the pots near
the oven. “Be more considerate to my stomach. And yeah, I thought this is a
convent, why does it look more of a circus?” He’s referring to the noise and
to the laughter outside.
What are you talking about? The lady’s eyes widened with
disregard and shock while the young guy whose eyes were so angelic stared
at her coldly and firmly.
“Excuse me,” she countered pompously, enunciating every word
with an obvious touch of annoyance. “We’re not your maids! And the
convent is not a creepy place, Sir! And it’s not even a circus!”
Out of the blue, Sister Marilyn came.
“Leanne!” then she noticed the young guy there too. His presence
made her blush but when she saw Leanne’s fuming face, she began to
wonder. She turned her gaze to the handsome young man whose face was
conspicuously pissed off. Were they quarreling?
However, she didn’t ask.
“Leanne,” she spoke slowly. “Sister Jasmine wanted to check if
you’re done cooking for… for…him.”
Notwithstanding, Leanne stood firm and gazed at the young guy,
and she answered, “I was just about to do that, Sister Marilyn. But since our
visitor here is so perfect, I think he can manage himself.”
The young guy, for the last time, glared at her, then left.
“What happened, Leanne?” questioned the anxious Sister Marilyn.
“God, forgive me,” Leanne whispered.
“Did you have a fight with him?”
“I don’t know if you could call it a fight, but that was terrible,
Sister,” she gasped. “I think you’re right! He really is conceited!”

144
Chapter 13

The convent and its surrounding vicinity were in complete silence


now. Today’s activity did end great though for other people’s eyes, it was a
place of wild animals and loud clowns—circus! The kids were tired from a

145
long day of fun, so they finished up dinner rather rapidly and went to bed.
The nuns were now having dinner but Leanne wasn’t there. She went
upstairs bringing with her a tray of food. She cooked it especially for him.
She realized it was rude of her to treat a wounded person. She wanted to
make mends with him not because Sister Jasmine told her to do so but
because she thought it’s the best thing to do. An apology won’t be bad; she
kept on telling herself as she stepped on the stairs.
She knocked twice already but nobody’s responding, so she
pierced herself into the room to check on him. However, what she saw
surprised her. He wasn’t there! The room was empty. She dropped the tray
and made a loud clanging sound that interrupted the nuns’ dinner. It was a
mess—the apple rolled and the soup spilled on the wooden floor and stained
the cotton doormat.
She could feel her blood rushing into her tiny nerves, her heart in
chaos and her ivory cheeks turning pink because of an unexplainable flare
of hotness on them.
Where is he? She rolled her eyes to each corners of the room, but
he wasn’t really there. Various thoughts came running her mind.
What if he ran away because of what I said? What if he seriously
took everything?
She was really afraid.
He doesn’t remember anything. What if he gets lost? What if…
Her head’s filled with ‘what-ifs’ and yet she just couldn’t move her
legs.
What shall I do? He’s still weak. He has broken bones, how will he
walk and move?
“Leanne?” Sister Jasmine called breathlessly and the other nuns
were also there.
She looked at them worriedly.

146
“Where is he?” asked Sister Charis as she saw the empty room.
“I don’t know,” Leanne replied anxiously.
The nuns at the back were starting to consider theories when Sister
Jasmine spoke, “Let’s divide ourselves and search for him.”
She divided the nuns into three groups. The first group would be
looking around the western part of the entire convent, the other one on the
east. The third group will be looking outside the gates.
They searched everywhere inside but he was nowhere to be found.
All their hopes now lay on Sister Linda’s group. Leanne came with them.
She just couldn’t sleep tonight knowing that somebody was in jeopardy
because of washed memories, frail body, the dangers of the streets during
nights and her hurtful words.
Thirty minutes had passed and still they had not found the guy.
Leanne was getting worried all the more as time was getting later.
“We’ll find him, Leanne,” Sister Linda encouraged.
“I’m really sorry, Sisters, for putting you into this situation,” she
apologized. “It’s really my fault. I shouldn’t have quarreled with him.”
“Hush, Leanne, we don’t know the real story,” Sister Mariette said.
“It’s getting late and we have to be early tomorrow,” said one of
the nuns.
Sister Linda reacted, “We just couldn’t leave the guy, Sisters.”
“No, you go ahead, Sister Linda,” Leanne told them, “I’m not
going back till I find him.”
The nuns gaped at each other looking worried for her.
“But the night is dangerous for a girl like you.”
“And besides, we can continue our search tomorrow.”
“He’s fine now. I’m sure he can take care of himself.”
Suddenly, a tear of hopelessness dropped from her eyes and Sister
Linda discerned it, “What is that for, Leanne.”

147
“I’m so scared, Sister,” she responded. “I don’t know what to do. If
anything happens to him, I can’t forgive myself. I’ll die carrying on the
burden of guilt, Sister Linda.”
“Please refrain from being so dramatic,” one of the nuns
commented.
“But I have to get rid of this guilt,” Leanne conveyed with her eyes
sparkling with tears. “I have to find him and bring him back to the convent
safely. That way, I can even with him.”
“I have an idea!” exclaimed Sister Linda. “Why won’t the others
who are now tired return to the convent and inform Mother Superior about
our search? And the few who wants to stay can continue finding him.”
The nuns agreed. Four of them decided to leave and return home
while three decided to stay. Sister Linda would be at Chang Nam, Sister
Eloisa would be at the university belt areas, and Leanne said she’ll go for
the noisy streets of the city.
She’d been meandering around. Her legs were getting numb and
her misery’s getting worse, however that perfectly conceited man was out
of sight. She looked hoping to find a guy about a foot taller than her, whose
hair was a little long that dropped at his face and concealed his unromantic
but exasperatingly beautiful eyes and who had difficulty in walking. She
asked anyone she encountered but nobody among them knew and seen this
guy.
There is a strange feeling in her stomach. She’s not hungry but she
thought she wanted to throw up. Her skin was icy cold but she felt hot
inside like scorching fire. Her eyes were dropping but the tears hindered
them. The cold was penetrating now into her bones and her brain felt like it
was filled with naught but the cold air.
Where are you?

148
Her eyes were extremely disturbed that they almost wanted to
release all the tears in them. She was running now glimpsing to every
possible direction.
Please… let me find you…
The thought that the young guy was dead went through her
mentality, which made her more tremble and uneasy.
You can’t be dead, can you?
Her lips were as red as roses now but her face were as pale as the
radish. Because of too much trouble in her mind she forgot to put on her
winter coat. She passed the casino bars, the old traditional Chinese
restaurants, book shops, and so much more stores but she was still a failure.
There’s no hope, she thought. I’m tired. I wanna go home. Maybe
they’re right, I’ll just have to find him tomorrow.
In despair, she strolled back to the convent. From afar the lights
inside smoldered like home. Yet she couldn’t unleash the frustration
brought about by her search and the peculiar thing she was feeling in her
body.
When she entered the lobby, she saw Sister Linda’s vexed look on
her face. When she saw her, a chunk of hope was drawn into it.
“Good Lord, you’re here!” she held Leanne’s freezing hands.
“You’re so cold, Leanne.”
Leanne just nodded then sighed.
“He’s back!” rang into her ears.
He’s back? What do you mean he’s back? She looked fiercely
straight into Sister Linda’s eyes.
“When we were waiting for you, we just saw him entered the door
and went to the stairs. We hadn’t asked him where he was because we were
so worried about you. Do you want some soup?”
“No,” she plainly answered and she went straight to his room.

149
Sister Jasmine and two other nuns were there. The young man was
sitting on his bed and the spilled food on the floor was now cleaned.
“Leanne?” Sister Jasmine wheezed frantically as she saw the
young lady fuming with anger.
Then, they all just heard a loud slapping sound of colliding skin.
They were astoundingly terrified to see Leanne’s almost perfect hand pass
the guy’s beautiful face—red and shocked.
The guy felt the painful slap but what surprised him was to see the
girl crying and her eyes enraging—and he didn’t like it.
“Is that how a nun should be?” he asked giving off a scoffing
expression. He was apparently appalled and surprised.
“I’m not yet a nun!” fired back Leanne courageously.
The nuns dropped their jaws.
“Oh! That’s why you’re pretending to be good?!”
“I’m not pretending!”
Please…, the sisters were telling themselves.
“Well, I’m sorry but you don’t pass to become a nun.”
“Then who are you to tell me that?”
“Me? Why don’t you ask yourself? Didn’t you just say… I’m the
most perfectly conceited man?”
“That is fact anyway!”
“Oh, really? You don’t even know me!” his voice was cold but
calm, and Leanne’s was panicky.
“Why? Do you even know yourself?” she burst.
She saw his face still. His eyes directed to hers—they’re hateful.
How come such beautiful eyes are owned by a monster? No, he’s worse
than a monster!
“I don’t like you,” he pronounced every words with loathe.

150
It rang in hers. She wasn’t crying anymore. Her tears were gone.
Why would I cry for this man? What he said didn’t surprise her. His eyes
were smoldering. I don’t like the way he looks at me. His stare seemed to
eat her whole.
“I don’t like you either,” she replied firmly.
“Miss Chae!” Sister Jasmine was furious. “I think we have enough
tonight, don’t you think?”
She looked at him for the last time, then faced Sister Jasmine
apologetically. She didn’t say a word but her face was as pale as the snow.
She left the room looking unregretful.
Sister Jasmine faced the irritated guy and she told him, “I didn’t
like the way you treat Leanne, Mister. Girls are not supposed to be treated
that way, in case you don’t know.”
The guy just ignored what she said.
“Sister! Sister Jasmine!!” a very perturbed looking Sister Charis
came running, panting. “Leanne! She fainted!!”
It was like a bomb that exploded in the minds of the nuns. They
ran leaving behind the unmoved guy, who was now at the windowsill.
What the hell I care about that girl, he probably was thinking.

Sister Marilyn replaced Leanne for today. She’s in her room,


burning with fever. Philip wanted to see her but Sister Marilyn said that she
needed full rest.
“Is she really okay?” inquired Philip.
“She will be,” assured Sister Charis.
“Will she be fine before Christmas?”
“Yes, she will, Philip,”
It was five days before Christmas and the convent looked so happy
with mistletoes and red ribbons around. The nuns together with the kids

151
joined forces in festooning the Christmas tree. They asked Mr. Sang to cut
for them the large pine tree at the backyard, and now they’re having it
designed with silver bells and golden stars. The large Christmas tree was
put at the right side of the little church’s altar, and it had little lights on it,
which made the entire tree flicker like the ones at the city.
“Too bad Noona wouldn’t be joining us today,” Philip commented
as he placed a little ribbon on the branch.
“Yeah,” said Sister Jacquelyn.
“Sister, is it true that Noona got sick because of the new guy?” he
sounded vengeful.
Sister Jacquelyn, loquacious as she was, looked at her sides to
check if any Sisters were hearing them. Then she drew herself near the little
boy and whispered, “Yes!”
Philip’s eyes expanded with curiosity.
She told him the whole story and added, “And when she came
back, she was so pale and cold, but still she managed to quarrel with him.
But, you know what, that guy is really conceited. He even told Leanne he
dislike her. See how unmanly he is!”
“That is awful!”
“Oh, I thought he’s gentle and friendly. He looks really handsome
and good but I guess I’m wrong—I mean all of us,” she almost panted. “But
looks can be deceiving though.”
“So you think he’s attractive?”
Sister Jacquelyn wasn’t in her mind. She was daydreaming again.
She didn’t know that she was already cutting the ribbons into pieces.
She breathed, “Oh, yes! Definitely, yes! Look at how he stands! I
mean, he’s breathtaking! And his eyes, they are so mesmerizing and
beautiful!”
“But you’re a nun, Sister Jacquelyn!”

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“Oh, I don’t care! Won’t it be nice if our love story would be as
tragic as Romeo and Juliet’s? Or it can be more tragic!”
“Sister Jacquelyn, I think your frustration is leading to an
unreasonable fantasizing!” stated an old and relaxed voice, which seemed to
be not Philip’s. Sister Jacquelyn looked at her side and saw Sister Jasmine
smiling at her.
“Sister!?!?!!!” she dropped the scissors and looked so red—redder
than ribbons on the tree. Philip was smirking at the old nun’s side. Oh, I
hate that boy!
“Can you tell me again how you like to have a tragic love story?”
requested Sister Jasmine.
“Sister…” her voice was panicky. “Please forget about it…
Please?”
Sister Jasmine smiled, “Very well, please be more careful next
time.” And she left for the gifts.
She frowned at Philip and followed Sister Jasmine’s trails.

Two days had passed, and Leanne was back to teaching. She’s well
now. It was just fever and headache and she forgot to eat dinner—it wasn’t
acute anyway.
Meanwhile, the ‘conceited’ guy was a whole lot stronger now. His
bones were fine. His face was almost clear from bruises, and Sister
Jacquelyn found him more attractive than before. Nonetheless, he hadn’t yet
retained his memories. Sister Jasmine thought of something that would
hasten the young man’s development to wellness.
He sat at her office with his usual cold and fearsome air on his
gorgeous and breathtaking face—as what Sister Jacquelyn and the other
nuns described him.
“Andrew,” called Sister Jasmine.

153
Andrew?
“Andrew?” he muttered bitterly but inquiringly.
“Don’t you like your name?”
My name?
She grinned, “Well, I thought you need a name since you’ll be
staying with us until your memories come back.”
“I don’t want to use other people’s name!” he sullenly said.
“That,” Sister Jasmine stressed ‘that’, “could be your name!”
He was wordless.
She continued with an unparalleled smile on her wrinkled face,
“How do you like it?”
“Where did you get that trash?”
“Trash?” she sounded a bit surprised. “Andrew isn’t a trash. I
heard it once a television drama.”
And do you think I look one of those characters?
“I don’t think that’s my name” he flatly stated.
“Well, can you suggest?”
He didn’t answer. Obviously, Sister Jasmine is more rational than
him.
He uttered at once, “I can’t stay here anymore.”
“But you promised!” exclaimed the nun.
Yesterday, he went to deal with Sister Jasmine about his so-called
freedom. He told her he’s leaving. But, fortunately for Sister Jasmine’s part,
he lost.
“I’m taking it back,”
“Now, now, you can’t do that!” she smirked challengingly. “A
promise is a promise.”
Evidently, he found the old nun very bright and wise.

154
“What do you want from me?” he asked, wondering why Sister
Jasmine summoned him.
She gave him a smile and gently told him, “Andrew, do you want
to work?”
Work?
“Well, I was thinking that maybe stretching some muscles would
be best for your health, and the convent is in serious need of a carpenter.”
“Carpenter?” he sounded sickened. “I don’t think I was a
carpenter!”
“Well, I didn’t say you were a carpenter… What I said was—do
you want to be a carpenter?”
“No!” Andrew, he, immediately answered.
“But why?”
“I don’t think I had any experience of that,” he was still as cold as
an ice.
“And how come you think you had no experience of that?”
“I think I was somebody else.”
Sister Jasmine moved her ears near the explaining lad, “You do?
Like what?”
“I…don’t know,” he answered.
“So, would a carpenter be all right?”
“No!”
However, Sister Jasmine didn’t look disappointed.

After their talk, Andrew, the ‘conceited guy’, strolled through the
corridors when he heard a beautiful melody from one of the rooms. He
followed the melodic music, which for him was like a breeze of spring air.

155
He reached the room, and through the glass on the door, he saw
little kids napping on their arm chairs. Still the music was soothing—and it
sounded familiar.
The sound…
And on the other corner, he saw a girl playing the instrument that
produced the wonderful and charming music.
She’s…
Suddenly, a hurtful flash of image pierced into his mind. It was so
painful-hot. The image—it looked like a woman playing with that
instrument.
He looked at the girl in the room again, yet however he tried to
remember the image that had just flashed, it wouldn’t happen.
“Oppa?” a little girl moved his sleeve. “What are you doing here?”
He moved his head sideway, embarrassingly, and left.
But the little girl followed him.
“Oppa!”
He turned to face her with his stiff air; nonetheless, the girl did not
bother his fearsome expression.
“Do you want to go in the class with me?” she offered gaily.
“No!”
“Then, what are you doing outside the room?”
“Nothing—”
And he left.

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Chapter 14

Today was 23rd of December—only two days more before


Christmas and the end of the literacy-outreach program of St. Therese
Convent. But something happened that changed the Leanne’s Christmas and
destroyed Sister Jacquelyn’s.
It happened last night. Sister Jacquelyn was outside Andrew’s
room when Leanne found her. The nun looked so troubled and sleepless.
“What’s the matter, Sister Jacquelyn?” she asked.
“Leanne, I know this is outrageous but it’s really different.”

157
“What is it?” she tried to calm her voice so that the ‘conceited guy’
inside wouldn’t hear them. She thought that she still couldn’t face him, after
the ‘war’.
“Yes, I am a nun, and I am forbidden to fall in love…” she
whispered.
Leanne thought she knew what Sister Jacquelyn’s dilemma was.
“And I know this is wrong, but just this once…” she huffed for air.
“After tonight, I’ll never see that despicable human ever! I promise.”
“I see your point, Sister, but what do you want to do?”
“I want him to know what I feel—”
Leanne was bewildered. You can’t do that! What if he falls for you
and the convent learns about this secret love? It would be a disgrace!
“That’s impossible, Sister!” she said.
“I know… I know… I know… but just this once… After you do it,
we’ll run as fast as we can!”
“But…hey!” she cut when she realized what the nun had just said.
“What do you mean ‘after you do it’?”
“Well, wouldn’t it be safer if you do it than me?”
She stuttered, “No! I can’t talk to that guy!”
“Please… Just give him this letter, and we run! That’s it! Simple!”
“I’m sorry but I’m not doing it, Sister Jacquelyn.”
“Please… Do it for me…” she sounded like she wanted to cry.
“My love for him is so undying, but my love for God is more undying,
Leanne…You know what I mean?”
“I think so… But still I won’t do it!”
“For our friendship’s sake?” her voice was pleading.
She truthfully gaped at her and said, “I would love to do it for you,
but not with him.”

158
“Now I’ll die without telling my true love about my feelings. Can
you think of stories more tragic than mine?” Is she really desperate?
“Okay, Sister Jacquelyn…” she finally agreed.
“Really?” her face brightened up.
She nodded. What else can I do?
She took the letter from Sister Jacquelyn’s hand, inhaled some air
for confidence and courage, and knocked.
I don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s wrong at the first place.
Yet, there was no answer.
“Are you sure he’s inside?” Leanne asked.
She nodded and replied, “I saw him entered.”
Could he possibly run away again through the window? So what?
I’m not looking for that self-important guy again!
“Let’s just sneak in!” Sister Jacquelyn suggested.
“What?”
She smiled.
“What about slip your letter through the door?”
“No!” she responded immediately. “He has to know who Sister
Jacquelyn is. What if he mistakes others as me? That would be the worst
part of my tragic love story!”
Will you please stop saying that thing?
“But we can’t sneak in!”
“Why not?”
“It’s bad!”
“Nobody will know.”
“What if he’s asleep?” actually, Leanne’s finding a way to get rid
of it. How I wish someone would see us! Somebody, stop us! “It’s rude to
wake him up.”
“It’s fine. He won’t get mad,” she sounded so certain.

159
How can she be so sure?
She held the door knob and slowly turned it. Its opening made a
creaking sound. Have your fingers crossed, please!
“He’s not here,” Leanne conveyed to the displeased nun. The room
was empty but the windows were neither opened. “Can we leave now?”
“Sister Jacquelyn?” she followed the nun’s stare and was terribly
frozen upon seeing the conceited guy went out of his bath room, lusciously
wet. He had his polo-shirt—a little wet—unbuttoned almost revealing his
enticing chest. His damped hair covering his handsome eyes but still didn’t
steal his manly gorgeousness. He wore a pair of blue-faded jeans, which the
old the Mr. Sang let him borrow.
However, Andrew did not look like he was surprised to see girls in
his room. But he wondered about their intentions.
“What can I do for you?” he asked haughtily, throwing away his
wet towel to the chair beside the fireplace.
Leanne looked at him like she wasn’t affected at all. Doesn’t he
feel cold? It was snowing outside yet he’s wearing thin clothes.
Sister Jacquelyn closed her eyes and hid behind Leanne. On the
other hand Leanne could hear her murmur, “Stay away temptation…” all
over again.
She gulped for air and stared at the young man’s wondering eyes,
steering clear of what Sister Jacquelyn said about temptation. However she
found it funny. How come a ‘nun’ is attracted to someone who’s not even
handsome?
“It’s not what you think,” she frostily defended.
“Why? Should there be?” He was just about to continue
unbuttoning the rest of the buttons when Sister Jacquelyn screamed.

160
“I’m…sorry…” she was so afraid. Her hands were on her eyes.
While Leanne was pretending she didn’t see anything. Andrew was not
startled but he thought he knew why she screamed, thus he buttoned them.
“Can’t you just leave?” he asked annoyingly.
She immediately handed over the letter. Andrew took it from her
tight grasp.
“What’s this?”
“A letter,” she wasn’t looking at him.
“I know it’s a letter, but what is this for?” he curiously opened.
But before he could read it, Sister Jacquelyn was pushing her while
saying, “Get it back.” What is with you?
“Wait!” Leanne called.
Andrew waited.
She panted, “Can I have it back?” Oh! I look so stupid!
“What?”
“I forgot—it’s not for you…”
Andrew irritatingly grinned, “Are you kidding me?”
She felt her heart beat on the rush again. Oh, no! Sister Jacquelyn,
help me out here!
“Yes!” After this, remind me to thank her! “I mean no! I’m not
kidding you but it’s exactly not yours!”
But he didn’t believe her. He opened it and read at once.
Oh, good Lord! Please burn that paper…
Sister Jacquelyn was trembling now.
Then, Leanne just saw him smile. It’s the first time she saw him
smile, and it felt different. The smile was different. She waggled her head to
retain her sanity.
“What’s this all about?” he grinned teasingly.

161
Sister Jacquelyn was murmuring behind him, “Please, don’t tell me
it’s mine!”
What to do you want me to do? She’s panicking now. Is he
thinking that it’s from me?
Where’s the running-thingy now?
“I told you it’s not for you!” she tried to avoid his stare.
“I don’t understand you…” his voice was beautifully cold and his
smile was charming—she realized. No it’s not! She’s trying to battle with
the eerie feeling. “You said you don’t like me…”
I don’t like you!
Sister Jacquelyn kept on pushing her back.
She felt her cheeks blazing with fire. She’s totally embarrassed
now. She didn’t know what to say.
I can’t just say it’s mine and it’s the truth! But he’s thinking
wrong!
All of a sudden, the nuns arrived. Sister Jasmine appeared
frantically vexed.
“What was that noise?” she interrogated, scrutinizing the three of
them
They remembered Sister Jacquelyn’s scream.
“Whose scream was that?” continued Sister Jasmine. She sounded
angry. “What was happening here?”
And she saw the letter Andrew was holding.
“May I see it?” she requested.
Andrew looked at Leanne, who now looked so worried for Sister
Jacquelyn and his misconception.
He said, “It’s mine.”
“I know, but I have to see it. May I?” Sister Jasmine didn’t sound
like this before.

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He looked at Leanne again. She was pleading him.
“It’s…”
“Andrew, I believe you’re hiding something from me,” Sister
Jasmine cut. “May I have it?” Her voice was firm but calm.
Unable to escape the nun’s investigation, he surrendered the letter.
He didn’t anymore look at Leanne.
Sister Jasmine opened it and read briskly. Sister Jacquelyn was
holding Leanne’s hand trembling.
“You two!” she called. “Come and see me tomorrow at my office
and don’t do any unnecessary things for the rest of the night.” And she went
to the door and bade, “Good night!”
The other nuns followed her, and again the room was just for the
three of them.
“I’m sorry, Leanne…” Sister Jacquelyn apologized.
“We can’t do anything about it now, Sister Jacquelyn,” she replied
to her. “It already happened. Come on!” And she looked at Andrew before
they left. She thought his stare at her meant for an apology but she told
herself, No, it can’t be!

The two of them were seeing Mother Superior today. The heater
was amazingly great. It was snowing hard outside it almost covered half the
length of the mailbox.
“Can you explain this to me?” she tossed the letter to her table.
Sister Jasmine was standing behind her table and was gawking outside.
Sister Jacquelyn looked at Leanne and spoke, “It’s my letter, Sister
Jasmine.”
“Do you know what that mean?” she asked.
“Yes,” answered Sister Jacquelyn.
“Good! How about you Leanne? Do you wish to say something?”

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“Sister…” she gasped for air. “Please don’t punish Sister
Jacquelyn.”
The old nun with her stern face now appeared so scary though
there was a bit warmth in the way she spoke.
“She was my responsibility. I knew it’s wrong, but I didn’t stop
her. I’m accountable for it, Sister,” she explained.
She continued, “And as a real friend, I failed to become one.”
“So what do you want to happen?”
The two girls looked at each other.
“Please don’t send me to a far away place. I promise I’ll stay away
from that guy,” Sister Jacquelyn pleaded.
“And Sister and I would be very cautious of our actions starting
now,” Leanne added.
“And no more fighting with Andrew, I suppose?” she glared
inquisitively at the beautiful Leanne.
There was silence.

The two girls were outside in their thickest jackets and coats. They
had shovels with them. Sister Jasmine forgave them but in one condition—
they were to substitute Mr. Sang until they learned their lesson.
Honestly, how long would that be? How would they know they’ve
learned their lesson?
“I can’t believe I’m doing this!” Sister Jacquelyn complained as
she jabbed her shovel on the big block of snow. Sister Jacquelyn was
wearing the usual long black robe of hers underneath her warm jacket.
While Leanne wore her thick sweater underneath her woolen jacket paired
with blue jeans. She had to wear jeans now because of this heavy task but
since Sister Jacquelyn was already a nun, she had to bear with her robe.
“This is better than sending you to the south!” Leanne teased.

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“Well, yeah!” she laughed. “Thank you, Leanne.”
“No problem!”
“Leanne, about Andrew…”
What about him?
“I think I should get over him.”
“That is what you should do!”
“No, that is not what I meant,” she confessed. “I realized that I
don’t really love him.”
Leanne smiled, “Sister, what you felt was just mere admiration.
It’s because it’s the first time the convent had a guy. Well, Andrew’s here…
because he’s not well. But he will leave as soon as he remembers.”
She beamed, “But you know what, the feeling of having a crush is
extra-ordinary. Have you tried it?”
Leanne’s face turned pink, “Of course, I did—in high school.”
“That was long time ago. Any recent crushes?”
“I guess I have—” her face turned pink.
“Really?”
“But I’m not yet sure.”
“Liar!” she threw a ball of snow towards Leanne.
“That’s unfair!” and she also threw a snowball to Sister Jacquelyn.
They spent a minute throwing balls to each other when Leanne said to stop.
“We’ll catch cold,” she laughed.
“Tonight, we’ll be having our farewell for the kids, and we’ll be
celebrating Christmas,” today is December 24. Sister Jacquelyn continued,
“I’m giving Andrew something.”
I thought…
“It doesn’t mean anything. I just want to thank him for being part
of my life.”

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“Are you sure you really want to forget him? Sounds like no—”
Leanne told her.
“Actually, there is something I had observed last night though I
still need you to verify it,” she sounded blue. “And I’m thinking of my
original punishment. I realized it is the best thing to do to forget my
obsession about Andrew.”
She persisted, “If I leave, probably it wouldn’t be hard for you.”
What?
She smiled, “I think you like him.”
What?! Leanne’s eyes widened. No!!
“No, Sister Jacquelyn,” she countered. “I don’t like him! What
made you think about that?”
“That was just an assumption, Leanne,” said she smiling. “But I’m
pretty sure he likes you!”
What?
“Did you notice the way he stared at you last night?”
Leanne didn’t speak. She remembered his smile—very unusual yet
beautiful.
Sister Jacquelyn set aside her shovel, drew herself near Leanne,
held her hands, and conveyed, “It was very obvious… and it was the first
time he smiled.”
“It’s because of your letter, Sister, not me,” she’s proving her she’s
wrong.
“It’s because he thought it’s your letter,” her voice was sad and it
was clear that she’s fighting sadness. “He thought you were the one who
wrote it.”
I don’t believe you! There it goes again; the strange feeling deep
inside her bothered and troubled her. But it’s worse now.

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“He’s looking at you now,” she said calmly with her eyes directed
at Leanne’s troubled ones. “He’s looking through his window, Leanne…
No, don’t move. Pretend like you don’t know.”
What are you talking about? You’re scaring me!
“He really does like you…”
“How did you know he’s looking at me and not at you?”
“Because I saw him thrice now.”
Thrice? Was he looking at us all the time?
She persisted, “He didn’t know I noticed him.” There was a sign of
laughter mixed on it.
“Leanne, pretend like you don’t know he’s looking. He might
suspect us.”
“I don’t know what to do, Sister Jacquelyn. You’re stressing me.”
Sister Jacquelyn chortled, “Come on, let’s continue this tomorrow
before you melt. Don’t look! Stay natural!”
And they left.

The kids were eating hotdog. It’s fifteen minutes before midnight
—Christmas. They were all wearing party hats, even the nuns except
Andrew. He just sat at the corner near the shelf of books. The lobby was big
enough to hold ten kids, fourteen nuns, one lady and one guy. They had
strawberry pan cakes, hot dogs, home made glazed ham, spicy spaghetti,
cheese and French bread, buttered chicken, ancient aromatic cognac for the
older nuns, orange juice, pat bing soo and candies.
Philip wasn’t there because he’s having Christmas with his
Grandfather.
It was fun. The nuns had a little bit of cognac. Of course, they
offered Andrew a glass but he refused. He had no idea why he was there.
He just watched the kids gaily filling their stomachs and of course, he didn’t

167
understand why he couldn’t take his eyes off Leanne. As a matter of fact, he
was hating himself for it.
The little girl he encountered the other time approached him with a
bright smile on her face. She gave him a tiny piece of candy wrapped in
pink and red. Unbelievably, he doubted himself because he accepted it
without hesitation.
It was time for the presents. The rule was they must give their gifts
to the least person they like and make a promise that they would become
friends forever—but this was only feasible for the kids. Then, they
exchanged gifts happily.
Sister Charis went to him and told him something that made his
mind be confused all the more.
Sister Charis said, “Andrew, can you do us a favor?”
He looked at her with curiosity.
“Can you carry Leanne to her room? She’s drunk,” she sounded
unbelieving.
Drunk? His eyes widened with disbelief.
Unconsciously, he walked towards the opposite corner where
Leanne was helplessly laying her head on the table.
“What happened?” he thought he sounded concerned though he
didn’t know why he was so.
Sister Linda explained, “She might have mistaken the cognac for
water. Will you please carry her? You’re the only man in this room.”
Unhesitatingly, he clutched Leanne’s body into his arms and
brought her to her room.
He carefully laid her on her bed. Her room was as big as his but the
only difference was his was a cradle of sadness and ambiguity. She had a
little lamp on her side table and a shelf on the wall opposite to the window.

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Sister Linda followed them. She brought along her a basin of warm water to
wash the young lady.
“Leanne likes warm water during winter. This will help her,” she
said. “It’s nice of you to carry her here. Is she heavy?”
“No.”
“Oh!” she smiled. “She doesn’t like being carried. There was a
time when she fell at the stairs and broke her leg. Mr. Sang offered his
hand, but she refused. Well, lucky you she’s drunk. She didn’t hit you with
her hand.”
“She hit me once,” he remembered that night.
“Oh yeah, I forgot.”
Andrew sat at the chair while she pampered the damp towel to her
forehead when she remembered, “Oh, no! I left the water boiling.”
“I’ll stay with her,” he said.
“Okay…But I’ll be back,” and she deserted the room.
Andrew continued chafing the towel on her white forehead. He
removed the hair that covered her beautiful face. Then, down to her face
and neck, he gently wiped them with care like she was something
breakable.
He didn’t understand what he was feeling. It was so odd—so
strange—so different—so new. He thought how beautiful she was. She just
looked innocent when she’s asleep. He couldn’t even believe that the
beholder of such beautiful face was a fearsome tiger deep within her. He
remembered the time when she bravely slapped his face. He thought it was
a funny experience. He was being rude. He shouldn’t have quarreled with
her. It was his fault, but she was too judgmental then. Am I really
conceited?
Being with her—alone—now—was an experience he never
thought would happen. I never thought I could get this close to her. His

169
fingers touched her face—gently—slowly. His fingertips felt the strange
sensation of electricity which he thought was something stirring and
unusual.
He stayed there to look for her and waited for Sister Linda to come
back. It wasn’t boring, he thought. Leanne sleeping was a funny scene to
watch.

Finally, Sister Linda came. She thanked him and told him that he
could go now.
Andrew went off to his room—smiling. Furthermore, the feeling
was strange yet heartening. I don’t know, but I like it.

The next day, Leanne woke up feeling heavy. It seemed like her
world was spinning upside down. She felt her head; it was dreadful.
Knock.
Sister Linda greeted, “Merry Christmas!”
“Sister, what happened? I don’t remember I slept here?” she said.
She answered her bringing down the tray of food, “Andrew carried
you here.”
“Andrew?!” Leanne almost leaped from her bed when her head
ached. Carried me here?
“Now, don’t be too agitated.” She continued, “The cognac’s after
effects are not to be neglected. Come on; help yourself with some bread and
cheese. These were the food left last night.”
“Cognac?”
“You got drunk, Leanne. You had mistaken the wine for water.”
“I did?” she sounded appalled.
Sister Linda nodded.
“And Andrew carried me here?” asked Leanne word by word.

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“Yes! He wasn’t that selfish as what you think.”
“What did he say?” Oh, that was shameful. She wanted to bury her
searing red face with her hands or dump it on the snow.
“Nothing.”
Nothing?
“He just carried you immediately. He was really nice. And don’
forget—get yourself ready after breakfast.”
“Why?”
“You’ll be replacing Sister Jacquelyn from now on.”
Huh?
“She left early this morning. Well, it was her choice.”
Leanne felt bad for her. She had to leave because of her
uncontrollable likings towards a guy which was objectionable to the image
of nuns.
“You’ll be having her place in the market. Also, the kids had left.”
What time is it? She looked at her alarm clock. 9:30.
“When did they leave?” she’s starting to miss the naughty and fun
kids.
“About an hour ago,” promptly retorted Sister Linda.
She absconded after watching Leanne ate her breakfast.

171
Chapter 15

Now, Leanne had to take care of the candy shop at the market. The
nuns had few businesses for monetary funds.

172
And the cold was soon disappearing. The ice began melting,
revealing a new breath of life.
The trees produced fresh leaves that shone with dew drops every
morning. The fiery flare of the sun cheerfully glimmered on the crowns of
houses. Flowers, pink, white, blue and lavender, were as sweet as ever.
Spring.
Breathtaking.
Weeks quickly went by.
After that night she got drunk, she had never seen Andrew in the
convent and she never attempted to find him. Though, she heard great deals
about him from the mouths of the nuns. Yet, she not at all wanted to see
him because of the embarrassment brought about by cognac to her, and
what’s worse was that she was a bad dreamer.
She heard he accepted the job as carpenter and that he was a good
help to the old Mr. Sang.
Perhaps she had been too busy that she never noticed him around.
Actually, she had all her days in the market and nights at the convent.
After Christmas break, Leanne would go back to the Pre-school
and resume the classes. She would also be returning to Celina. She hadn’t
seen her mother for quite a time; neither did she hear news about Celina and
Arthur. They didn’t like Leanne calling them on the phone. As what Celina
commented about it: it’s too dramatic and emotional!
After a great day at the market, Leanne walked home to the
convent early. Sister Eva was replacing her for the rest of the afternoon.
As she arrived at the gates of the convent, she saw Andrew helping
Mr. Sang construct a new locker for Mother Superior’s office. It was the
first time after that dreadful Christmas night she had seen him. He looked
better now. He had his hair trimmed though it was still a bit long, but not as
long as what it used to be the first time she saw him. His new haircut

173
showed a great deal of his handsome and innocent face. He’s smiling now
—the smiles, of course, were priceless. He wore this white cotton long
sleeve-shirt that almost fit into his skin, exposing a great deal of his upper
body. He looked good with it, she must admit.
Out of the blue, their eyes met. It took seconds before she realized
that he’s looking at her, and his stare was seriously smoldering and firm yet
innocent and gentle. The way he looked at her vexed her so much, like she
wanted to run and hide and never see him again ever in her entire life.
Nevertheless, she seemed to like it—the feeling—irresistible, strange, and
strongly unexplainable.
As soon as she grasped his stare, she right away removed hers and
pretended like she hadn’t seen him. She walked her way straight to the
doors of the convent.
She went to her room and closed her door. She breathed hard. Her
heart’s movement was unusual. Its rhythmic coordination was getting
abnormal, she thought. Am I dying?
And she just found herself producing tears, though she had no idea
why. She wiped them away and took her bag from the closet. All her
clothes were now organized in it. She made it last night. Today was her last
day in the convent as regular inhabitant. Her schedule would be adjusted
again to the standard one given that Christmas was over.
She bade farewell to the nuns and quickly left. She virtually knew
why she was hastening to leave. She did not want to see Andrew—that’s it!

Home.
Celina and Arthur.
She entered their house.

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What happened? The place was in chaotic arrangement. The sofa
was turned upside down. The window glasses and the frames were broken.
The walls were vandalized. Everything was in mess.
Mama?
She hurried to her mother’s room and there she found Celina,
helpless, sullied and tremendously sorrowful. Her room was a lot messier
than the other rooms of the house. Celina did look different today—very
different from the elegant socialite she once was. She wore her make-up
unevenly and her hair was untied and unkempt. She looked pitiful.
She ran to her rescue.
“Mama?” she whispered into her ears as she helped her sit
properly. “What happened?”
But she wasn’t answering.
“Where’s Arthur?” her voice was shaking. She didn’t know why
but she’s getting scared.
“Did those gangsters do this to you?” she was referring to big men
last time. “Was it all about money this time?”
Yet, Celina wasn’t speaking.
“Mama!” she’s panicking now. “What really happened? Why don’t
you answer me?”
“Andrew…”
Andrew?
“What about him, Mama?” she helped her stand up.
“Andrew… he’s missing.”
“Mama, that happened long time ago. I thought you have forgotten
about him now,” Leanne tried not to deem about Celina being insane.
“Andrew… he’s missing…” Celina looked as if she lost her sanity.
“Mama, tell me what really happened. Did those guys hurt you?”
she was certain that those men were the criminals.

175
“Yes…Yes… that man… that man,” her voice was tremulous.
“He… he wanted to kill him.”
Kill Andrew? But he’s gone, Mama…
Leanne, for her, that moment was very painful. She couldn’t stand
to see Celina suffering. We have to leave… some place those men wouldn’t
be able to find us…
She looked for her mother’s things and gathered them in Celina’s
bag. They’re leaving. She must find a place which those gangsters would
less suspect.
“Have you seen my Andrew?” she asked Leanne in a funny way,
like she’s totally insane. “I had. He’s a grown-up now—very handsome like
his father…”
Mama? She sympathized her. Her tears were feeling itchy in her
eyes now like they wanna fall down.
“But… but don’t that man about Andrew. He’ll get him from
me…”
“Mama, come on! I know a place for us…” she said as she carried
her mother’s arm on her shoulder.

Leanne brought her mother to the convent. She asked Sister


Jasmine about it and told her about her mother’s problem. The nun didn’t
hesitate to say ‘yes’ even though Leanne said that it’ll only span till she
saved enough money and bring Celina back to the province.
Celina was now in her daughter’s room while Leanne was in the
kitchen making her food.
“Does she really think Andrew is still alive?” asked the curious
Sister Charis as she diced the potatoes for porridge.
Leanne nodded at her. For a while she paused and thought.
“What are you thinking?”

176
“About… how He could be so unfair to me…”
Sister Charis hopped off her chair and moved near Leanne, “Please
dear, don’t say that. You know he’ll give you answers.” And she wiped
away Leanne’s tears.
She nodded again like she knew she was wrong.
“I’m going now, Sister Charis,” she said as she carried a tray of
mushroom soup and bread.
“Okay, dear.”

When she went back to her room, she was horrified to see Celina
not there. She dropped the tray when Sister Marilyn came, “Leanne, your
mother, she’s downstairs.”
And they both went down. They reached the garden where the rest
of the nuns were busily making baskets.
Mama?
“She’s calling everyone Andrew, Leanne.” Sister Marilyn said.
Celina turned now to Sister Linda, “You’re Andrew, aren’t you?”
She replied, trying not to sound harsh, “No, ma’am.” Then she
turned to Sister Eva, “Andrew is a very handsome man, don’t you know?”
“Mama, come on… Let’s go, mama.”
Celina halted when he saw a handsome young man going out from
the storage room.
“Andrew… Andrew…” she skidded towards the man. Leanne was
appalled. Not him…
“Andrew? Andrew?” she’s touching Andrew’s face while the
young man was definitely frozen.
“Why don’t you speak, Andrew?”
Andrew looked surprised yet was still calm.

177
Leanne ran to her, “Mama, he’s not Andrew.” And she looked to
Andrew with a sorry expression, “Well, he’s Andrew.” Then she gaped
back to Celina who looked like a meek lamb, listening to her, “But not the
Andrew you know.”
“No, he’s Andrew… He looks exactly like Andrew.”
“Mama, no! Andrew’s gone.”
“You’re Andrew, aren’t you?”
Andrew looked at Leanne with his striking eyes and said, “I’m not
Andrew.”
“No!! You are Andrew!”
“Mama…”
The nuns went to help Leanne calm her down. They forced her to
Leanne’s room.
“Eat this, Mama,” she handed her bread. There were only the two
of them there. But Celina was quiet. She looked depressed.
“Mama?”
“Can you…” Celina rolled her eyes to Leanne. “…help me find
Andrew?”
Mama… he’s gone. What is happening to you?
Ironically, she answered, “Okay, Mama. But you have to eat this
first.”
“Really?” a delightful Celina cried out.
She nodded.
Celina started filling and warming her stomach with the soup.
She’s bubbly know, and Leanne thought that her mother was quite a
different person.
“Did you know that Andrew has a brother?”
“Sister, Mama.”
“Weren’t the two the same?”

178
“No, Mama. Brother is for boy and sister is for girl,” she explained
as she put the soup on her mother’s mouth.
“Oh! I forgot his name.”
“It’s Leanne, Mama.”
“Leanne?” she looked startled. “Who is that?”
She patiently and sadly answered, “It’s me, Mama…”
“You? Who are you?”
“I’m your daughter, Mama…” she’s crying now.
“Daughter? Oh, I remember you!”
There was glee, however, in Leanne’s eyes.
“But…but…” all of a sudden, her voice turned gloomy. “You
know that man! You know him…”
I know who?
“He took away Andrew…”
“Mama…” and she tightly embraced Celina—so tight but
carefully. She pitied her so much and she didn’t know what to do her.
When Celina was calmed and asleep, she went out of her room and
there outside, on her door, she cried her heart out.

Leanne went to Pre-school that afternoon. Sister Linda said she’d


take care of her mother.
Though it was hard for her to smile to her students, she had to. She
played their favorite song in the piano. She called it the ‘Spring Moon’. It
was also new to her not to see Quintin. The class was really silent when
they knew their friend had left, however Leanne told them it was also for
Quintin’s good.
Today, she would be teaching them her newest composition. She
made it during the nights before spring. It had still no title. Maybe she could
ask her students to name it for her.

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It was a lively song—cheery like the sun—clear like the blue
firmament—soft like cotton clouds—fragrant as the soaked wooden rocking
chair.
The kids loved it. They really do.
It felt uneasy working in the Pre-school now because Andrew was
there. He’s helping in the construction of another classroom.
The nuns were resting at the receiving room, watching TV. It had
been a long day for them. They had the baskets sold all in the morning and
the rugs this afternoon.
Sister Charis talked first, “Aye! That Robert Lee is sure really rich.
Everyone’s after him.”
All their eyes were focused on the little box on the table.
“Billionaire Robert Lee’s assassin is suspected to be his 21-year
old son, Jayden Lee, heir to the multi-billion firm.”
“His son? His son tried to kill him?” the nuns were totally taken
aback.
“FBI announced that they found Mr. Lee’s ID at the basement of
Les Faire Hotel along with the newest high technology laser rifle.”
“Does it mean he’s also Quintin’s Dad’s murderer?” Sister Linda
looked at Leanne
“But Mr. Lee, the son, claimed that it wasn’t his ID. He currently
works as the Executive Junior Vice-President of JYL Corporation, and he
said there’s no way he’ll kill his father.”
“Poor man…”
“Can’t they give us a picture of that Jayden Lee?”
“Right now, Mr. Lee is under custody at their home in Geum Dong
Gun Village at upper-hill Seoul. Even Mr. Robert Lee does not believe that
his son is the mind beyond all those assassination schemes.”

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“It’s in the papers today!” said Sister Eva as she tossed Daily Sun
and Good Morning Korea at the center table.
They scanned the newspapers and they found no pictures of Jayden
Lee.
“Why does he have no pictures?”
“Here! Read it!”
“KNOWING THE ASSASSIN: JAYDEN LEE, Mr. Jayden Lee is a
21 year-old bachelor with assets costing not less than $100 billion. He is
JYL’s President’s only son, therefore, entitled him as the richest heir in the
entire world. He earned his Bachelor’s Degree at a famous university in
Canada in such early age. He’s currently enrolled at an exclusive school
for Masters Program in Business Administration Major in Finance and
Management in the country.
He is not only known as an intelligent man of the business world
but media’s greatest foe for he hates attention from the public eye. He
always avoids contacts with the press and turns down interviews.
World-renowned American Korean based lawyer Atty. Johnny
Hoover asked media not to release pictures and videos of his client until the
verdict is announced.
“But his innocence isn’t proven yet.”
“We’ll just have to pray for them,” said Sister Linda.

One day at school, Philip came rushing to her. He was telling her
about something very difficult to grasp.
“I know him, Noona… I know him…”
“What are you talking about, Philip?” as she was trying to change
the lilies with sun flowers.
“That guy… the… the carpenter…” he panted. “I know him!”

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Her eyes widened, froze, then she turned to face him, “You know
Andrew?”
He nodded without hesitation, “He was that person I was telling
you. He was the one who gave me all those clothes.”
Leanne was stunned.
“I am certain, Noona. I’m not dreaming!”
Philip know this person…
“Do you know his name?” she leveled with him as she kneeled
down with her legs.
“No, he didn’t tell me his name,” Philip was breathing hard like he
couldn’t believe what he discovered. “But he really was that person. He
looks exactly like him.”
“Did he say anything about himself?”
Philip looked terrified. He was searching his mind for answers.
“Uhm…” he stuttered.
Leanne stared at him intently, “No… he was the one asking
questions…” he answered when,
“Leanne?” It was Mr. Sang and he brought with him Andrew.
She hurriedly stood up when she caught a glimpse of Andrew
staring at her, perhaps wondering why she’s kneeling.
“We’ll be fixing the ceiling,” informed Mr. Sang.
She nodded. Philip was at her back—hiding—shy.
What Philip told her about Andrew struck her. Would it help her
find out who he really was, she thought. She apprehended that she was
actually staring at him when the guy removed his stare from hers. Was I
staring at him? And why did he look like he was mad at me again?
“Andrew, hand me over the hammer, please,” and Andrew did.
Philip was peeping. She didn’t understand. Why does he have to
hide?

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She whispered to Philip, “He doesn’t remember you.”
Philip was shocked.
“Can the two of you leave?” Mr. Sang asked. “It’ll be very
dangerous if you stay.”
Before they went out, Philip tried to examine if the guy pounding
the nail into the flat wood was really the man he knew.
“Philip, come on!” Leanne called him.
Leanne told him how Andrew got into the convent. They stayed at
the playground. The kids had gone home.
“I like to help him, Noona,” his eyes were so passionate. “He
helped me so much. Now, it’s my turn to bring back the favor.”
Honestly, it’s not possible, Philip. You don’t know anything about
his past. You don’t even know his name.
“I’ll make him remember!”

Chapter 16

Seven o’clock. Leanne was still at the Pre-school. She’s finishing


her composition for the Spring Ballet Performance of her students.
It had to be jolly but meaningful. But she couldn’t concentrate. Her
mind was filled with thoughts about Andrew. She pretty couldn’t

183
understand herself. Why do I have to bother myself with things about that
guy? All he brings is confusion
It’s late. She had to go back to the convent because Celina was
waiting for her. She closed the windows and turned off the lights. She had
the key safely put inside her pocket.
She closed the door and locked the gates.
She trailed the streets of Geu Sam. Still her mind was bothered.
Please leave my mind!
But he’s so hard to neglect… I don’t know why…
Walking empty-mindedly, she crossed the street. Then, she heard a
skidding sound of tires—fast and non-halting. She turned to the direction of
the striking sound—there were bright flashes of light that stunned her.
It’s skidding fast towards her. She couldn’t believe it. It was
moving so fast, that it did petrify her. All she got to do was to stare at the
flashes and froze like ice.
It was getting near. She couldn’t move her legs till she thought of
one thing: If I die today… She closed her eyes, Will this really be the end?
Then, she felt air—unusual. Why air? I am like floating and
what’s this… what’s this fragrant smell? Am I in heaven? But why is it still
dark? Does heaven smell good? The scent is enticing—and it’s warm, like I
am wrapped by a blanket—protecting me. It was an uncanny feeling
though. All of a sudden, my back hurts like my bones were broken, like I hit
a wall or some solid fence. Why does heaven feel like hurting me? Then,
there’s warmth near my face—soft. Weird but I could hear someone
gasping and some thing beating near my chest. What is this? It’s warm. Am
I really dead? Looks like not.
“Leanne?”
Someone’s calling my name…
“Leanne, are you okay?” the voice was tender yet familiar.

184
I’m not dead.
She slowly opened her eyes and was entirely amazed to see a pair
of beautiful and alluring eyes staring at her with concern. The handsome
face was so familiar and he’s over her body.
“Leanne, are you okay?” he asked again but gentler.
Andrew?!!?!
After realizing it was Andrew, she gasped, “Am I dead?”
“No,” he replied. “You’re not dead.”
She could feel his breath. That was the warm thing…
He stood up and helped her.
There was discomfiture for seconds.
He saved my life…
He was walking beside her and neither the two realize it.
She tried to gather all the words of gratitude in her mouth but they
wouldn’t just come out. There’s no way I’ll thank him, id is telling her.
“Do you want to die early?” he sounded cold again—angry.
Hey, why are you angry at me?
“That car almost killed you!”
Who told you to save me?
Paradoxically, she couldn’t say those words.
“Thank you,” she said looking at her steps.
“That’s nothing,” his voice was still and cold.
There was an awkward moment of silence.
“Hey, how did you know I’m here?” she thought that topic would
ease the silence.
“Providence, I suppose,” he replied without eye contact.
“Honestly, I don’t think you’ll survive without encountering bad luck.”
What?

185
Good thing there wasn’t too much light in that avenue because if it
had, probably she’d just stare at his good-looking face all the while—and
that would be embarrassing.
“Will you please be serious?” she told him.
“I am serious.”
She glowered.
“Hey,” he called.
She opened her ears.
“How did you find me?”
Leanne was surprised of his question. Does he really want to
know? Well, perhaps it can help him remember.
“I saw you outside my house, specifically at the trash bins… I
hesitated at first but you were moaning. I thought of bringing you to the
hospital but you were saying like you don’t want there… And I didn’t know
what to do… I couldn’t just bring you in my house because Mama would be
furious… And the convent is the only place…” she thought for awhile, “…
I know you’ll be safe.”
“May I know why you saved my life knowing that I’m a stranger?”
That is a hard question, she thought.
“Well, I also don’t know,” she tried to laugh but he wasn’t
laughing. Oops! She continued, “Perhaps, I pitied you.”
“What have you thought of me the first time you saw me?”
His questions were never ending.
“Were you scared?”
“Yes,” Honestly, I was. “I thought you were a bad guy.”
“And now?”
“What do you mean?” she tried to depict the strange sadness on his
eyes.
“Nothing—just forget that question.”

186
He continued, “Who’s Andrew?”
“Which Andrew?” You or the other one?
“The one your mother was saying.”
His voice was dark—searching.
“He’s my older brother,” she replied without any expectation of
interruption. “I was six when I knew about him.”
“What happened to him?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I never met him.”
“Do you want to see him?”
There was a sudden gush of pain she felt inside. “That’s
impossible. I don’t think he’s alive.”
“Why?”
“Because if he is, I should have found him,” she just saw herself
producing unnecessary tears. She continued as she forced herself to give a
smile, “I tried to look for him… There was even a time when I thought I
found him—actually until now I have my hopes up… But then, that hope
slowly… vanished.”
He was glaring at her and that stare bothered her, “Why are you
staring at me?”
He continued walking, “Nothing—.”
He’s so strange. She paced up with him.
“Is it… possible… for people to share… the same… fate?” he was
looking ahead of him.
She didn’t understand him. Is he like this—a deep person?
“Maybe,” she replied uncertainly. Truthfully, she didn’t know
what to answer him.
“Were you sorry you met me?” he threw her another question.

187
She was stunned. She looked up to him but he wasn’t looking at
her. Does she have to answer that? I don’t know…
“Never mind.”
Is he serious?
He was walking too fast and it was not easy to pace up with him.

The nuns weren’t lying. He isn’t really conceited, I guess… But


she didn’t find him this morning at breakfast and she didn’t ask any of the
nuns about his whereabouts. She went to school after helping with the
baskets. They didn’t take much of her time; furthermore, she loved doing it.
When she arrived there—though strange and improper—she was
looking for him. When she met Mr. Sang, Andrew’s name was the first
word that went out from her mouth. However she tried to get rid of it,
Andrew wouldn’t just leave her mind.
The whole morning, she tried to fill herself with kid stuffs like
playing balls, reading stories, and singing songs, but the more she
suppressed herself the more she remembered him.
This is so weird… Why am I always thinking of him? Am I
suffering to a particular eerie illness?
The feeling was bothering. Every time she heard knocks on the
door, she hoped it was him; she hoped that it was him who would enter; she
hoped that he would come and fix the ceiling. She wanted to see him!
Thoughts of him just hunt her like he’s some fierce predator.
She had lunch with Philip.
“Noona, I had a talk with… Andrew,” he had some difficulty
pronouncing his name. “I told him about the thing I knew.”
What?
“I wonder, Noona, but he wasn’t surprised.”
“Maybe… he still can’t remember you.”

188
He shrugged his shoulders.
After her class in the afternoon, she looked for him outside.
Perhaps he and Mr. Sang are still working the table. Unable to contain the
pressure somewhere deep within her, she finally asked Mr. Sang about him.
But his answer disappointed her, “He said he’ll go ahead.”
“Thank you, Mr. Sang…”
And she thought she’d just stay in the classroom and finish her
composition. As she was walking towards the corridors, she heard notes of
the piano jamming the surrounding. It sounded like an eight-year old child
was pressing the keys.
Philip?
She hurried to the room.
And through the little glass window at the door, she was shocked
to see that it wasn’t any child playing the piano.
He was squashing the keys and yet there was still melody—
innocent melody.
It was a different sight, she thought. It’s a different person… He
was so tame… He was like a child.
She stayed there, at the door. She didn’t want to interfere his
moment.
And what surprised her was when he started to play real music.
That… that music is… How did he know about that?
He was playing it right—no mistakes—flawless. Strange… How
come he plays it so well? There it goes again—the weird feeling. It was
chaotic like various things were mixing in her mind and that she didn’t
know what to do. The strange and familiar music was alluring her. She held
the door knob, turned it and opened the door. She walked towards him,
aghast by his uncanny familiarity with the song.
“Andrew?” she spoke.

189
The music stopped.
“How did you know about that?”
There was silence.
“Only… I… knew that song…” she was petrified, her voice was
shaking but strong.
He was quiet.
“Answer me, Andrew,” she heightened her voice in case he
couldn’t hear her. “How did you know about… that song?”
But he wasn’t reacting at all. He sat still on the chair and his back
facing the shocked Leanne.
“Andrew, why can’t you answer me?!” she raised voice. “Could
you be…”
“Could you be…” she was crying and she had no idea where those
tears came from.
“I’m not him!” he stood and his voice was loud and cold. “You
told me yourself, Andrew’s dead!”
“And how about you knowing that song?” she looked at him
seriously.
“I do not know! How… am I supposed to know if I don’t even
remember a thing about my past?!” his eyes were in fury.
“And why can’t you just explain it to me?” she was trembling.
“Why is it so hard for you to understand?”
“Why can’t you just accept…”
“That I am your lost brother?” there was a half-smile on his face—
an offended smile.
Tears just gracefully descended at her face. It was painful.
“You know what, Leanne, you have no idea how I battle with
myself! It’s not an easy thing to do,” his voice was somewhat calm now. He
saw how she’s hurt and he’s sorry for that. “I am not him…”

190
“How can you be so sure? … You don’t even know yourself…”
“Don’t you see it? That’s my problem!” he cried, “I don’t know
myself… I don’t know if I’m your brother. And you know what’s worse?”
He gasped, “I think I’m falling in love with you!!”
What? It was like she was hit by a falling star. It was appalling—
no, more than appalling. She dropped her jaw. She was bewildered.
Describe all kinds of shock—that was what she felt.
“Do you get it now?” he was crying it too. “I tried to stay away
from you… I tried to fight with it… I even tried to hate you… I cursed that
day you got drunk; because that was the time I realized that I really do love
you!” He was breathing hard, both of them. “I have that thought since that
day your mother called me his son. What if I’m really his son? What if I’m
really your brother? But then, I… I was slowly falling for you!! Do you
know how that felt? It was difficult, Leanne… I suffered every night…. I
tried to forget you! Because I knew I can never have you!!”
Stop this please… … Will somebody stop this? Her legs were
trembling.
“That’s why I can’t be your brother!” he said. He continued,
“Because I want to love you…”
No…This is horrendous… How can he love me? How can he love
someone like me, weak and coward?
Unable to endure the mixture of strong emotions, she ran away
from him. I don’t care about his feelings! Who does he think he is? Why
does he love to hurt me?!
She wanted to run away as far as her legs could go. If she could
only find a cliff in the city, she’d jump off it. The darkness of the streets
didn’t scare her. Being loved by Andrew was the only thing that scared her
that time—and that she didn’t know why.
His words kept on echoing in her mind and they bothered her a lot.

191
I don’t believe him! I know he’s Andrew!
Then, she saw herself standing in front of the gates of the park.
Why am I here? It’s still useless. He won’t go anyway… And… if
ever I see him tonight, there will be no sense of speaking to him… Because
the only reason why I go here because I thought he is him…
She didn’t understand herself. There’s no way I’ll be going to that
tunnel again… I found Andrew now and he can never be him… She was
walking towards the tunnel now, helpless and sad.
That strange guy, who built trust within me, who built my
confidence, who made me feel important, can never be my brother. Because
the man I’ve been looking for years is in the convent—that conceited guy—
Andrew. And that strange soft-spoken guy who considered the tunnel as his
refuge can never be my brother.
Yes…There was a time I thought of him as my brother… hoping
that he indeed is Andrew.
Then, she leaned her head against the brick wall of the tunnel. It
was dark as usual. She gaped at the other edge of the tunnel. It was very
dark, no light could penetrate into it, and not even the strange guy’s
silhouette could be seen.
I wish he was my brother. I like him more than Andrew. Because
Andrew doesn’t accept me as his sister and that ‘love confession-thingy’
was not… was not proper… It’s clear already… He knows the music only I
and Mama knew. He really is Andrew!
She was there for hours and all she did was cry. He’s not coming…
It’s different now. She didn’t cry for her mother anymore but for
one man that made her so stupid.
It was getting light but the moon was brightly shinning outside.
She was feeling hopeless. I was right beforehand. He really is a bad guy!

192
All of a sudden, she heard foot steps. She widened her eyes to the
other edge. Her heart was thudding fast. She felt an unexplainable
excitement. Could that be him? Could that be that strange guy?
Slowly, the light revealed the beholder of the soft foot steps. But
she was greatly disappointed to see who it was.
Andrew? You again? For all people why you?
He sat across her. He gaped at her with his good-looking face
seeming sorry about the incident.
“What are you doing here?” she questioned firmly, sounding mad.
“Returning you home,” he straightly answered.
“I can go home by myself.”
“I know,” retorted he. “But the nuns were getting anxious. It’s
midnight, Leanne, and they were so worried why you haven’t returned.”
His voice was as usual cold but beautiful.
“You shouldn’t have bothered,” she said.
“I don’t think I can do that,” he lifted his face and slowly closed
his eyes, “Leanne, I’m sorry.”
She was stunned.
“I’m sorry for shocking you, but I just want you to know that I did
everything… I swear, I did…”
He continued, with his head raised and leaned against the wall, “I
have thought about this, and I think it’s the best for us. Even though I don’t
know who I am… even though I’m a stranger to you…”
His voice lowered, “I suppose I’d like to be Andrew—for real—
forever…” There was his smile again.
What?
“I guess it won’t hurt if I learn to.” his smile faded.
“I’m not forcing you to remember…”

193
“I know,” he said. “But what if you’re right—that I’m really him?
Even I wonder why I knew that song. Perhaps… perhaps, I am him.”
“What about…”
“My feelings for you?” there was this smile again, which she
thought was his best asset, “I can handle them. Don’t worry—I won’t die
because of unrequited love.” He laughed.
“Unrequited?”
“Kidding,” he said coldly. How could he joke without uttering it
the funny way?
She cut his joke, “What if… you’re not Andrew? What if this is all
a big mistake? What if you suddenly remember everything?” She paused,
“Will you regret that you became my brother?”
“I don’t know… Let’s see if that’ll happen,” he sounded haughty.
She nodded, and then gulped a big amount of air. She continued,
“You promised to be Andrew, right? Even if you remember, will you keep
that promise?”
“Whatever makes you happy,” he opened his eyes and gawked at
her keenly.
She was quite satisfied, she must admit. But this isn’t right.
“Hey,” he called her attention. “Will you do me a favor?”
All of a sudden she felt a gush of fear striking her veins. What
does this mean?
She gazed at him inquisitively.
“Will you promise me not to fall in love with me?” his stare was
adorably alluring.
What?
Something seemed to be revolting inside.
She was stunned. She stuttered, “Of course… without a doubt!” I
have never been this scared before…

194
He lifted his face again and closed his eyes, “Good… Cause when
you confess to me that you love me, I’ll not hesitate to take you away.”
He’s serious. He wasn’t joking. He didn’t sound funny.
“Are you kidding me?” she asked with a conspicuous blend of fear
in her voice.
“No, I’m not.”
“You can’t do that.”
There it went again; his haughty expression was bothering her. He
looked at her with smiling and speaking eyes, “You think that’s possible?”
“No—I won’t fall in love with you,” she directly, without
interference and delay, answered.
He was quiet. Did he hear me?

Chapter 17

After that night, every thing went smooth. The nuns knew about
Andrew, and they accepted him. He still could not remember any thing, but
he was doing fine. Celina was so glad about the guy. She was really sure
Andrew’s Andrew.
But to Leanne, after that night, the events were rocky and tough.
She thought it was a good idea, however, she was wrong.

195
Andrew was perfectly nice to her—like a real brother would do to
his younger sister. He’s a wonderful brother, she thought.
He learned to cook for her. He would help her with the baskets. He
fixed her room. He constructed a new study table for her. He was jolly. The
old moody and cold Andrew was definitely gone. He was like an entirely
new person—reborn. And the nuns thought he’s better this way. Of course
they had no clue about the deal between Andrew and Leanne. They would
be terrified if they learned it.
However, she found it hard to act normal especially when she’s
alone with him. She wouldn’t know what he’s thinking. He’s hard to
predict. She’d always thought it’d be fine. But she had no idea if his strange
feelings for her were still there—and that made her ill at ease.
That was Saturday afternoon; both Leanne and Andrew were
helping Sister Charis and Sister Eva with the quail eggs. Their packing them
because Sister Linda would be going to the city in the north and sell them to
the fishermen.
“Andrew, you look better these past few days,” commented the
funny endomorphic Sister Charis.
Andrew shyly smiled.
“And his smiles would surely turn down girls, as what Sister
Jacquelyn said,” teased Sister Eva.
“Honestly, he’s different now than what he used to be, right
Leanne?” inquired the nosy Sister Charis.
She nodded as an answer.
“Andrew, what will you do when Leanne becomes a nun? I mean,
you can’t stay in the convent forever.”
All of a sudden, Leanne’s face turned blue but Andrew replied
with glee, “I think I’ll enter priesthood.”
What?

196
“Not a bad idea!” exclaimed Sister Eva.
“What about Mama? No one will look for her,” she sounded
defensive.
Sister Charis right away gave a solution, “That’s not a problem!
Celina can stay. She’s a woman.”
“But, Andrew,” she interfered. “I thought you want to have a big
happy family?”
“Everybody can change their minds, Leanne,” he answered, getting
suspicious.
She added, “But won’t it be great if Mama stays with you? You
can build her a new house—you’re skilled!”
“Just let him do what he wants, younger sister,” Sister Charis
taunted. She thought Leanne was just concerned for her older brother’s life.
Leanne was wordless and she thought she saw him smirked.
“Andrew, what are the kinds of girls you like?” asked Sister
Charis.
Sister Charis? Leanne was surprised.
The jolly nun persisted, “Perhaps I could introduce you to my
niece.”
“Fixed marriage? That’s hideous!” she cried out.
“We’re not yet talking about marriage, Leanne,” Sister Eva
informed her. “Didn’t you just say you wanted Andrew to get married?”
Then, Andrew snootily beamed. Oh, I hate the way he smiles!
“No! It’s not what you think,” she clearly said.
“Will you enlighten us, baby sister?” he stressed the last two
words.
“I’m not your baby sister, Andrew!” she burst.
“Sorry…” immediately she found her composure.
“Don’t be too hot, Leanne,” Andrew said. “Relax.”

197
He’s teasing me!
“So, Andrew, what are your types of girls?” persisted Sister
Charis.
He thought for seconds. There was silence, and Leanne thought she
didn’t want to listen.
Andrew redirected his smoldering and attracting gaze to the
snobbish Leanne in front of him. She purposely turned her back to him, and
she very well knew that he was looking at her.
He said coldly yet soothing and lenient to her ears, “First
impressions for me do lasts. When the first moment I saw her I called her a
tiger, I’d still prefer for that tiger no matter how injured and weak she has
become, because I know deep inside her is an angel who will do anything to
protect the people she loves.”
His words entered her ears like soft wind. And it was very strange
that she felt that uncanny and vexing sensation again.
“Sounds like a reasonable ideal!” Sister Eva stated. Sister Charis
agreed. Meanwhile Leanne felt electricity travel through her spine.
“Well, seems like I’ll take half of my life finding your perfect
match,” Sister Charis snickered.
“Sisters,” Andrew cut the laughter moment. He continued, “Why
don’t you ask Leanne about his ideal guy?”
Leanne was stunned. He’s still looking at me, I’m sure! Why does
he have to do this?
“Oh, well, all of us have ideals! How about you, Leanne?”
“I am going to be a nun!”
Andrew smirked.
“Yes, we don’t doubt that, dear,” explained Sister Eva. “But I’m
sure you have ideals. Even I do have preferential.”
Fine! I’m avenging!

198
She turned to face them, smiling.
“Well,” she gaped at Andrew, who was sort of giving her
challenging expressions. “I like guys…who have charismatic eyes that
could melt every girl’s heart… I like guys… whose smile could stop a
storm…” She emphasized every word.
“Interesting…” Andrew remarked rationally.
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome!” his voice was deep and cold.
He’s annoying me—really!
She continued, “I like guys… who could build a castle for me.”
“He must be a good carpenter…”
“I don’t think so… He must be rich!”
“Oh!”
“Can I proceed?” she asked courteously.
“Sure—” Leanne thought she’s winning. He looked pissed off.
Sister Charis said, “You sure have a long list, dear.” Sister Eva
chortled.
“Yes, I do, Sister,” she answered her politely. She continued, “I
think I also want guys who are responsible and hardworking.”
“I think I know someone who qualifies to your standards,”
countered Andrew. The nuns were enjoying the battle, he thought.
“Well, you better introduce him to me,” she smirked.
“I thought you’re becoming a nun?” he fought back and he smiled.
“Well, you just said everybody changes their minds!”
Andrew halted. He went on, giving her one of his delicately
gorgeous smile, “Any addition?”
“Loosen up, dear brother,” she smiled too. “We have plenty of
time, don’t we?”
“Go on!” he tossed his hands graciously.

199
“I think… I’ll fall in love to guys… who can keep promises. Don’t
you think guys like those are more attractive, Sister Charis?” that was her
last weapon.
“Oh, certainly, dear!”
She turned to face Andrew, “What do you think, Andrew?”
Andrew didn’t seem like he was affected or what. He plainly
smirked another enticing smile and replied, “Well, I wish you all the best! I
think Prince Charming won’t be easy to find.”
Aaarrgghh! Why does he have to smile that way!?
“Excuse me, ladies,” he placed the last box of quail eggs on the
table. “I think I’ll have these boxes ready for Sister Linda.” And he left
carrying two heavy boxes with his arms.
That was actually unexpected! How ever it felt good to know he’s
annoyed!
“Leanne?!”
Did somebody call my name?
“Leanne, isn’t that Vanessa?” conveyed Sister Eva as she pointed
out to the gate.
Leanne turned to see the happy-looking girl at the gateway. She
was wearing a soft orange and yellow dress and a hat with tropical-living
flowers designed on it.
Vanessa?
The young lady ran to her and embraced her tightly.
“Vanessa, your back?” she was too excited that she almost
mispronounced the words.
“Yes, I am!” she hugged her once more. “Hello, Sisters!”
“They must know you’re here!” cheered Sister Charis as she ran
towards the convent’s door.

200
“Oh, no! Your room was used as temporary meditation room,”
Sister Eva said. “I must have it cleaned!” And she ran towards the door too.
When the two nuns were out of sight, Vanessa spoke, “I’m glad
I’m back!”
“You don’t know how I missed every thing about you!” said
Leanne. “And you won’t believe the changes that happened to me!”
“Well, make sure they’re exciting!”
They laughed. The two of them had been open to each others. They
knew each others’ secrets and dreams.
They sat at the long wooden chesterfield at the garden, and Leanne
began her story about her mother’s psychological sickness. Vanessa said
she was sorry for Celina; however, deep inside her she called it karma.
Leanne also told her about the wounded man who lost his memory.
Leanne saw a shocked expression on her friend’s face. Then she told her
about how that injured man, by chance, turned out to be her missing
brother, Andrew. She was all the more amazed.
When Leanne was about to tell her about Andrew’s confession and
their covenant with each other, Sister Eva came.
Sister Eva said, “Vanessa, Mother Superior wants to see you.”
So, the two went inside. Leanne waited for her at the receiving
room.
Then, her waiting ended.
“Hey, you haven’t told me the other side of the coin,” she said.
“How did you convince your Dad?”
“Well, he doesn’t really like it, Leanne.”
“You ran away again?”
“No,” she answered. “As a matter of fact, I’m not here for good.”
What?
“I’m saying goodbye, Leanne,” her voice was sad.

201
“Vanessa, what…are …you saying?”
No! What about our promise to each other?
“Dad—,” Vanessa paused. She continued, “
“Leanne, Mama’s wearing your skirt,” he said as he entered the
room without looking to the girls but to the toolbox on the table. He neither
noticed the girl beside Leanne.
“Leanne, who is he?” Vanessa curiously questioned. Her voice was
in a shocked tone. She tried to get a clear glimpse of the guy’s face. “Is he
that guy… you were telling me?”
Leanne nodded, wondering about Vanessa’s reaction over Andrew.
She thought she had to introduce her to him. So, she called, “Hey,
Andrew!”
Andrew faced her inquisitively; his face looking so curiously
innocent.
“You?!” Vanessa gasped as she looked straight to the handsome
young man whose white shirt was sullied with dirt for he was helping Mr.
Sang push the cart at the backyard just a while ago.
Leanne was surprised to her friend’s unexpected reaction.
Why did she react that way? Leanne scrutinized Vanessa’s
reaction.
Then, slowly, Vanessa drew herself near the surprised Andrew.
Who is she, he might be thinking,
What is she doing? Why is she moving towards him?
Her heart was thudding in suspense. What is this all about? Her
eyes widened as she saw a matchless coy smile on Vanessa’s lips.
Vanessa reached Andrew, who was staring at her like she was
some stranger.

202
Then, she embraced him tightly. She could hear the young man’s
heart—pounding one by one. Andrew, appalled by her embrace, got no idea
why she did it. He froze like he should upon seeing a monster.
Meanwhile, Leanne dropped her jaw. She was wordless. From
some time, she felt her legs and fingers numb and cold. There was a hasty
thud of heart beat she felt, unusual and scarier. She couldn’t move.
“Vanessa?” she stammered. She didn’t understand. Why do I want
to cry? What is this I’m feeling—like I want to get rid of the scene?
Then, she thought she heard Andrew spoke, “Who is she,
Leanne?” He was getting curious and ignorant to his situation. He removed
himself from the girl’s embrace.
With her eyes shimmering with tears and her look amazed by the
young man’s peculiar avoidance from her, Vanessa asked, trembling,
“Don’t you remember me?”
Andrew didn’t answer. He turned his shocked stare to Leanne.
“Vanessa,” Leanne interfered. “He is my brother.” I think.
“Brother?” questioned Vanessa. Then, she right away remembered
about the man Leanne had told him—the one who couldn’t remember
anything about his past.
“His name is Andrew,” well, it’s the best thing to do, she thought.
“I know this guy, Leanne,” she told her eagerly.
Andrew didn’t understand a thing. Vanessa continued, “He… He
was the guy I was telling you… He was the one who helped me get over
Marco…”
What? She felt her eyes itchy and her breathing getting harder.
“You know me?” asked Andrew.
“Yes,” Vanessa nodded. “You liked me, I saw it on your face,” she
added. “You even asked my name!”
“Are you sure it’s Andrew, Vanessa?” the words came like magic.

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“Yes, Leanne,” answered she. “And starting that night, I’d only
want nothing but you…” her eyes were speaking. She looked straight into
the guy’s eye. She persisted, “I knew since the moment I met you that you
are indeed the man of my dreams. Didn’t you feel it?”
Andrew wasn’t bothered by what Vanessa’s was saying. He’s more
worried about Leanne. She looked extremely surprised.
“Oh, Leanne, thank God he’s your brother!” she joyfully
exclaimed. “Because if we end up together, you and me could become
sisters-in-law!”
Leanne forced a smile. I don’t get it. Why does it feel like I’m
lying to myself?
Out of the blue, Andrew spoke, “If you know me, then you know
my name.”
“You haven’t told me your name, Andrew. You only asked mine. I
was too overwhelmed that moment, I forgot to ask yours,” she was smiling.
“Well, I think there’s a reason for celebration!” Leanne conveyed
trying to sound gleeful. “First is for Vanessa’s return.” Then, she gazed at
Andrew gladly, “And second… for Andrew will soon… remember…
everything…” She just realized how her voice sank at the later part.
“I know! I’ll help you cook today, Leanne!” Vanessa beamed.
And the two went to the kitchen. Andrew stayed at the receiving
room, sat at the chair near the window, and held his head like there’s
thunder striking every nerve inside. He was looking for a certain piece of
puzzle chip. He must completely build them soon.

Dinner was fun, Andrew thought. Everyone looked happy—even


Leanne. She was gaily talking with Vanessa, and the nuns were obviously
happy about her friend’s return. Vanessa, on the other hand, was making
efforts to his attention. Of course, he did what gentlemen must do.

204
However, he was still bothered by what she had revealed. He couldn’t
understand why he was doubting. But there’s one thing he was sure—he
couldn’t trust Vanessa.
That night, he went outside. Originally, he wanted to talk with
Leanne, but he thought it would be useless. He couldn’t understand but he
wanted to make sure she’s fine.
The sky was starless. Perhaps, it will rain tomorrow. The air was
cool. He comfortably sat at the wooden swing he made. Actually, he made
it for Leanne before he found out the brother-thingy. It was supposed to be
for reconciliation.
He swung back and forth, letting his hair sway with the cool breeze
that touched his face. It’s his way of relaxation.
It was quiet and the lights inside the old stoned convent were warm
and inviting.
Unexpectedly, he felt someone stop the swing. He looked at his
side and was astonished to see Leanne sitting beside him.
There was silence, but it wasn’t awkward now. The swing swayed
slowly.
Leanne broke the silence, “How does it feel you’re slowly
knowing who you are?”
“I don’t think… you’re right…” he coldly answered—cold as the
air.
Warm silence.
“Andrew,” she broke. “Do you think… you were that guy she’s
telling us?”
“I don’t know…”
“But what if she’s right?”

205
“Then, I should thank her for it… What do you think should I do?”
he gawked at her. She was lifting her face and her eyes were closed, feeling
the pleasant sensation of the sway.
“Vanessa… is really… a nice girl,” she said with a deep breath.
She continued, “She really likes you—no, it’s more than that, I think…
She’s so happy she met you.”
“How about you, are you happy?”
His question astounded her. Their eyes met.
“Yes!” she smiled. “Should there be a reason not to?”
“None.”
A little awkward silence built up.
“Leanne,” it was his time to break the stillness. “Do you want
me…”
“Yes,” she interrupted. “It’s the right thing to do.”
He nodded his head.
He continued, “But what if she’s wrong?”
“Can’t I answer that?” her voice was so low that Andrew drew
himself nearer.
“You have to,” his face was slowly reaching hers—she felt it.
“I have a choice, haven’t I? … Then I choose not to, Andrew,” she
answered, avoiding his stare.
She continued, “I really want Vanessa to be my sister. She’ll make
a good wife, and she can take care of Mama.”
She shivered. Out of the blue, the coldness vanished and she felt
warmth on her shoulders and arms. Andrew slowly placed his blue jacket
around her. She felt the familiar abrupt electricity on her spine again.
He whispered delicately, “Why is it so difficult to be your
brother?” He sounded like he was throwing a joke, but Leanne didn’t find a
reason to smile.

206
Why… are you… doing this? She looked at him inquisitively.
Another silence filled the moment.
He coughed, then spoke, “Can we not talk about her?”
She didn’t respond.
“Are you serious about being a nun?” his eyes were never taken
away from her. His voice was wavering because of cold. His thin white shirt
couldn’t protect him with warmth.
She nodded.
“Will you tell me why?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t trust you.”
“Oh!” he dropped his stare.
“Good night!” she slowly moved out of the swing.
Dark. Shadow. Pain. A flash of light bewildered his mind. That
voice… A vague image of something glinted right before his eyes. It was
moving away from him… It was familiar.
“Andrew” Leanne spoke as she saw the guy rubbed and oddly
tilted his head. “Are you okay?”
When he heard her voice, the flashes and the pain were gone.
He nodded and answered, “Yes, I’m okay… You go inside now.”
“Are you sure?”
He nodded.
“Okay…” And she gave back his jacket, “Don’t catch cold…”
Their hands touched and their gaze met. It was an uncomfortable
moment.
Leanne didn’t any more say a word. She left right away after
taking her hand out of the contact.

207
Chapter 18

Vanessa stayed. She went with Leanne at Pre-school. She even


bonded with Andrew most of the time. They cleaned the library together.
They baked bread together. They help Mr. Sang together. They watered the
plants together. Vanessa felt that she’s someone important to Andrew.
While Leanne was making her spring composition, Vanessa sat
with her.
Leanne hit the low notes first.

208
“Are you not done with that?” she asked.
“Almost,” Leanne replied.
“Andrew told me how you found out that he’s your brother,”
“He did?”
Vanessa nodded.
“I saw him play the piano yesterday. He was good,” there was no
pause. Leanne wondered why she sounded gloomy.
“Our ancestors must have been great pianists,” she kidded.
“Leanne,” Vanessa interrupted. She stared at Leanne like she’s
some enemy or what. “What if Andrew falls in love with you?”
Her pencil’s lead broke. Her eyes widened. She paused from
writing. Does she know about…
She immediately retorted, “He’s my brother, Vanessa.”
“That’s exactly my point, Leanne.” Her furious stare scared her.
“That not possible,” she tried to laugh.
“But you still don’t believe he’s your brother,” it was not a
question.
What’s with her?
“What are you trying to tell me?” she asked trying not to sound
panicky.
“What about you, will you fall for him?”
“Vanessa, what made you say that?”
“I’m just curious… I really like him, Leanne… No, I think I love
him now,” she coldly stated.
“I know,” answered Leanne almost a whisper.
“And I will do every thing just to have him,” it sounded like a
threat but not to Leanne’s ears.
She was scary, Vanessa.

209
“I’ll go now. He’s waiting for me. Good luck for your spring
musical,” and she left.
What’s happening with her? She was totally different.
How ever, she didn’t mind Vanessa’s bizarre action. She continued
her work, when she heard the door opened.
It was Andrew.
“Can I have the piano this time?” he asked with his handsome
smile on his face. He walked towards her.
She was startled by his presence. She stammered, “What are you
doing here?”
“I should ask you that question,” he grinned, and he sat beside her.
He slowly and gracefully touched the keys. A# echoed through the corners.
“Music class is over,” he added.
“Hey, I have to finish my composition,” she complained.
“It’s my turn. Leanne,” his voice was soothing cold. He didn’t
sound angry. His gaze was directed to the black and white keys.
Leanne stepped to her feet and was just about to stand when
Andrew held her hands and stopped her. He said without looking at her,
“But I don’t mind if you stay…” C and F# reverberated.
His grip was tight. She was stunned. She slowly lowered down and
sat beside him.
He seriously played the piano, while Leanne couldn’t concentrate
with hers.
Wait! What is he doing here? Wasn’t he supposed to be waiting for
Vanessa?
“Where’s Vanessa?”
“I don’t know.” The melody he created was perfectly amazing. He
really played well. He’s better than me, she thought. She wondered where
he learned his skills.

210
All of a sudden, the melody became familiar. I think I know that
one… Sunflower… sunlight… air… clouds… green… orange… yellow…
spring…
“Hey, that’s my music!” she bellowed.
Andrew gaped at her and haughtily smiled.
“Are you stealing it from me?”
He didn’t answer but his smile didn’t waver.
Then, the melody sounded different. It’s different… It’s new… It’s
not part of my composition… but it’s lovely…
“Hey, you added…”
“Ssshhh…” he interfered. It was like he didn’t want her to stop
him.
And he ended it gracefully. It was a wonderful finish. She was
totally flabbergasted.
“That was… lovely…” she muttered not giving any eye contact.
“Did you like it?” he asked.
She shyly nodded.
“I finished it for you,” said he.
“Thank you… but how did you know about the notes? I’m sure
you weren’t peeking at my scores, were you?” she glared at him.
“I wasn’t peeking … but I was listening,” he retorted.
What?
“I listened to you everyday… from out there,” he pointed out the
window. He continued, “… and my mind did the rest.”
Wow! How did you do that?
“And last night, I made the scores for you,” he said while handing
over the scores.
Leanne received them hesitatingly.

211
“Are you sure you weren’t a pianist in the past?” she sounded
amazed. Andrew smiled.
Suddenly, fear and doubt broke into her mind, “Andrew, don’t get
too close with me.”
Andrew sulked.
“Because you’re making things complicated.”
“How do I make things complicated? To whom?” he asked.
She didn’t reply.
“To Vanessa? Or to you?” he sounded mischievous.
“To… everyone…” she answered. “Thanks for this. I appreciate
it,” and she left.
They’re almost done with the prayer. Everyone was there. Sister
Marilyn led the prayer. Sister Jasmine was there and so with Andrew. He
attended every prayer now.
But tonight, they must condense the prayer time because the
ceiling wasn’t okay. It looked like it would fall apart any time. Andrew and
Mr. Sang would have it fixed by tomorrow. Sister Eva was so afraid that
she forgot that they were praying.
At last, the prayer ended—Sister Eva could freely breathe.
“Everyone, leave the room now,” Sister Jasmine ordered.
Leanne helped Celina transfer to her wheel chair. Sister Linda
offered a hand in strolling it.
She looked around to see where she placed her Bible when she
heard a bashing sound over her.
With just a blink of her eye, the ceiling crushed.
Everyone inside were outlandishly bowled over.
Andrew was on top of Leanne’s body. His back badly covered with
fragments of wood—large and heavy.

212
She didn’t see how it happened. All she remembered was she had
fallen over and the destructive sound of the fragment hitting Andrew’s
back.
She could hear his whispery grunts. He must have been badly hurt.
As she opened her eyes, she saw how hurt he was—his face spoke it.
But why would he do it? He could have killed himself.
His grasps of air were getting slower and impossible. She could
almost feel the warmth of his breathe. He was suffering, yet he wasn’t
leaving his position.
“Andrew…” she whispered, unbelieving of the incident. Their
faces were like inches away.
“Are… you… okay?” How can he think of other people over his
own life?
She nodded.
“Good…” his breathe was so warm and deep.
He tried to get up, forcing himself.
Don’t do this…
She heard the nuns, “Go and help them,”
“Stay there!”
“Don’t move!”
But Andrew was hard-headed. He moved his back, still covering
Leanne as the fragments fell apart. He was making sure he could still
protect her. He held out his hand to her. She hesitated to receive it. He’s too
weak to pull me.
“Leanne… come on…”
She mechanically accepted his hand. He’s still strong.
They had stood up. Her body was closed to his; his arms
completely around hers. His cheek was detached to his chest that she could
hear his heartbeat, but he wasn’t moving now.

213
“Andrew?” her voice was trembling.
“Leanne, are you okay?”
“Sister Charis… Andrew… he’s not moving,” she panted.
Andrew’s immobile body was hanging at her.
“What?!!” The nuns panicked. They called for Mr. Sang to carry
the young lad to the cab. He must be brought to the hospital.
Leanne couldn’t say a word. She was like traumatized or
something like that.
Andrew was brought to the hospital now. Mr. Sang and Sister
Charis were his company.
Leanne didn’t go. She was too bothered and confused with both
emotions and indescribable feelings. It’s full of complex things. She didn’t
know if she was worrying for him. She wanted to pretend not, but then she
had to call herself a liar.
She knew—the feelings were strong. She helplessly sat on her
floor, dumped her face on the bed and buried it with her hands, and
attempted to cease breathing. She was crying, and she didn’t know why.
He shouldn’t have done it! It’s that how he finds death?
She couldn’t understand him. He’s unpredictable.
Sister Jasmine went to check for her in her room.
“How are you doing?”
She was too depressed to answer. I don’t know. I think something
is in pain…
“Will you come with me tomorrow? I will visit Andrew.” Sister
Jasmine sat on her bed. Yet, she didn’t receive any response from the girl.
She slowly lifted the lonesome lady’s and gently said, “Would you
like to hear the continuation of my story?”
Her eyes were filled with sparkling liquid.

214
“Where was I? Oh, I remember now…” she said. “I was engaged
to this handsome and good man. He’s also rich. He was a friend of mine in
high school.” She continued, “He was a young businessman and was a great
pianist… My father settled for our marriage. Everything was done—the
proposal and the engagement. But he wasn’t my first love—and I never
loved him actually. He was in love with me. He said he’ll do everything to
make me happy. But his love couldn’t replace the man I truly love.”
Leanne had her ears intently open.
“The day before our marriage, I told him I can’t marry him, and it
broke his heart. I was lucky he was an understanding man… So the
wedding was called off, and I decided to enter the convent…. Of course, my
father was furious, but he couldn’t do anything but agree… And so, I’m
here.”
“What happened to the man?”
“Well, he is rich as ever. The last thing I heard about him was that
he was married to his childhood sweetheart… I was truly happy when I
learned it.”
Leanne asked, “Sister, about your true love, what happened to
him? Why didn’t you end up together?”
“He died after high school… He had some heart problems since he
was young… Honestly, Andrew reminds me of him… The first time I met
Andrew was like the first time I met Chris,” there was a beautiful smile in
her lips.
“Chris?”
“Yes, that is his name… They were alike—almost—only that
Andrew is more expressive…” she chuckled. “They were friends, best of
friends, Chris and my fiancé. James had been so open about his feelings
towards me, but it was Chris who won my heart… Our first meeting was

215
hilarious. I didn’t like him and he didn’t like me too,” she gave an
inquisitive and teasing gape to Leanne.
She persisted, “Chris and I were two opposite people, but fate was
a good writer. I knew I loved him since the beginning, but I was too stupid
not to realize it earlier; because if I did, then probably I could have spent
my best times with him…” Her voice was now rough.
“Of course, in every love story there are twists and turns, but I’d
prefer to keep it within myself…” She continued, “We only spend one night
together before he died. What’s worse was that we hadn’t really talked that
much. I was so overwhelmed upon knowing that he was seriously ill. I
couldn’t believe he’d be leaving me… I didn’t know how to respond to his
words. I was so hurt to see him dying… He… only played his violin for
me… that night…He was violinist like me, but he was better…”
Tears were obviously marking her cheeks. “And the next day, he
was gone…” her voice was so sad that it almost mix with the rain outside
the window.
Leanne couldn’t believe that such heartbreaking love story still
existed in these times.
“I totally regretted my decision… I should have stayed with him,
but that was another chapter of my story,” she gave a smile.
“And that is how my tragic love story ended.”
“Do you still think of him, well I mean, Chris?”
“Yes, he was never erased in my mind”
Leanne understood her.
“But, Chris is dead now. He can never be God’s perfect rival…
But, someone out there may just take you away from Him,” she warned.
Leanne gripped Sister Jasmine’s hands and gently answered, “I
know what you mean, Sister. But I think I love God more than anything and
anybody else in this world…”

216
“Leanne, God wants you to be happy. He loves you so much
because you are His princess,” Sister said. “He doesn’t want to see you hurt.
Your hurt is also his hurt… So, if you really do love Him, don’t hurt
yourself—that’s the best thing you can do for Him. Make yourself happy
and you make Him happy.”
“But… I am happy… …”
She bent, touched the young lady’s hand and reached for her chest,
“Why won’t you ask her?”
And she left.
Leanne was dumbfounded. She didn’t know how to react or what
to do next. Sister Jasmine made the situation more complex.
I don’t think I love him. I mean—there’s no way I’d love that
person… He is conceited and selfish... He’s insensitive… He breaks
promises... He thinks he’s the most handsome man in the entire world… He
thinks that his smile is what every girl wanted... He thinks he’s great…He
makes me uneasy… He troubles me all the time… He doesn’t leave my
mind… He makes me cry… He makes me go crazy… He pains my heart…
His eyes are just… handsome… His voice is just cold like… wind that
whispers delicate words into my vulnerable ears… His breathe his warm…
and tempting… His touch… keeps on taunting me… His strong grip seems
to protect me… He… saved my life…… He is my brother.
At the hospital, Andrew was eating his lunch. Vanessa was there a
moment ago to look for him but she went out together with Sister Eva.
The doctor said he only needed rest. The shock the accident caused
him appalled his consciousness. He must also learn to relax his muscles and
refrain from strenuous works.
Leanne arrived. She brought bread and apples for him. Her
presence was his strength, he thought. But of course, Leanne felt

217
awkwardness that moment, especially every time she remembered how he
saved her.
“So, how are you feeling?” she asked coyly.
“I’m fine,” he answered as coldly as before. He doesn’t look he’s
hurt.
“You?” he stared at her avidly.
“I’m not… hurt,” she gasped at the later part. “Thank you…”
He nodded.
“Andrew, I didn’t like what you did…” she said.
He didn’t answer.
She continued, “You can’t hurt yourself… to protect others.”
He countered, “I wasn’t protecting others; I was protecting you.”
She was wordless.
“I am… your brother, right?”
She forced a smile. Yeah, you’re right… I think.
“Leanne Chae…” his voice was so blue. “Will you hate me if I
break one promise?”
Her heart wanted to cry. What is he thinking? What promise?
She tried to control herself. She pretended to be strong. “It…
depends…”
“What do you mean?”
“It depends to the promise you’ll break.”
He nodded, then, “Thank you for telling me…” He took away his
stare and turned it outside the window.
It was sunny and the leaves glimmered together with sun. Its green
color reflected to his window. It looked amazing.
There was silence. This time, it was the most awkward silence that
parted them. Not because there was no eye contact but because both of them
were feeling strange yet similar emotions—confused and muddled.

218
“Can I ask you one more question? I promise, it’ll be the last,” he
muttered still his eyes outside.
“Sure.”
“Why do you always go to that tunnel in the park? Please be
honest.”
She wondered, “How did you know about that?”
He paused.
“Andrew, how did you know I go there every night?”
He finally replied, “Somebody told me.”
“Who?”
“It’s not important.”
“But…”
“Just answer me, Leanne!”
Why are you like this?
She breathed in, and then she answered, “Because the tunnel is the
only place I know that can hide my tears… It… It serves as my… refuge…”
“That’s all?”
“And… and because I am waiting for somebody to come…”
“Who is he?”
“You don’t have to know.”
“I have to know; I am your brother.”
There was silence.
She cut, “It’s a strange guy… You don’t know him; I don’t know
him… I just feel comfortable being with him. He doesn’t mind talking to
someone like me… though I’ve met him only once…”
“How does he look?”
“I don’t know—I haven’t seen his face. The tunnel was dark. I
only hear his voice…”
“Oh! Do you like him?”

219
“I can’t answer you.”
“Why not?”
“People change, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“I told you—I will not answer you!”
He didn’t counter.
“Now, it’s my turn to ask,” Leanne told him.
He stared back to her.
She gathered all her courage and spoke, stammering, “If I fall in
love with you, will you still take me away?”
He dropped his jaw. His eyes widened with bewilderment. He
couldn’t believe she said that.
Leanne looked at him resiliently, “About the deal, I think… I think
I can no longer conform with it…”
What am I saying?
“I… I…”
“Leanne?”
It was Vanessa. She was at the door.
“Andrew is resting. Don’t interrupt him,” she sounded cross.
Vanessa went near Andrew’s bed. She took Leanne’s apples and threw
them at the trash bin.
Andrew was appalled, and so with Leanne.
“Apples are bad for him,” she sternly told Leanne. She turned to
Andrew and said, “Are you tired? Did Leanne exhaust you?”
Andrew didn’t answer.
Leanne could not believe the circumstance. What is happening to
Vanessa?
“Leanne, I think Andrew doesn’t want to see you…”

220
Huh? Andrew wasn’t objecting. He wasn’t even looking at her.
Her heart seemed crumpled. It was like thorns were starting to grow.
She forced to smile but her eyes were crying, “I’m going…”
“Oh, Leanne! I have to show you something!” Vanessa bended her
head, reached for Andrew’s face and kissed him to the lips.
OUCH!! That was unexpected. She was petrified. Her legs were
terribly frozen. Her heart seemed to stop breathing too. She felt her world
was getting smaller. The sight was so painful. Her heart was crying.
And Vanessa slowly removed her lips from his. Leanne saw
Andrew’s face. He wasn’t surprised at all.
Vanessa smiled wickedly to Leanne and said, “It’s official!”
Without her knowledge, her lips smiled in contrast to her deranged
feelings. She responded, “I’m happy for you.” And she left.
That was… That was…
She was running at the corridors of the hospital, trying to find the
exit of the maze. She was crying. It was the most painful thing that
happened to her—more painful than being beaten by Celina. She wanted to
hate Vanessa, but she couldn’t. How will I hate her if Andrew really loves
her? Perhaps that is what he meant—about the promise, which he’ll be
breaking. He won’t be protecting me because he already has Vanessa. Why
am I so stupid to believe him? I shouldn’t have trusted him! I shouldn’t
have let myself fall for him! He’s tearing my heart into pieces!

221
Chapter 19

The next day, the beautiful, elegant but snooty woman, Madame
Sophia visited Leanne at the convent to inform her about their agreement.
She brought along with her three young women who would, according to
her, help Leanne become the lady she wanted her to be.

222
“If I go with you, what’ll happen to Mama?” she asked.
“I’ll take care of her. You don’t have to worry about Celina; she’ll
be very well compensated,” informed the woman fabulously.
“I’m sorry, Madame, but I can’t live my mother. She’s ill.”
“Yeah, I know,” she looked at Celina who’s now counting Popsicle
sticks with her hands on the other side of the sofa. “I can see it… That’s
why I have come up with an idea… You go with me, and Celina goes to the
asylum.”
Asylum?
“No! You can’t just leave her there! I’m not doing it!”
“You don’t have a choice, Miss Chae,” she said pompously. She
handed out a modestly paper to Leanne and said, “Your mother had already
signed the contract. And if you turn down the agreement, Celina will be
sued to the court, and probably end up to jail.”
Leanne read the contract. It’s true! Mama signed it. But how could
she do this without my consent?
“Well, Miss Chae, it won’t be a hard job for you. You would even
thank me I hired you,” she smirked. Then she pointed out to the three ladies
behind her.
“I don’t need your money, Madame,” she firmly and plainly fired
back.
“I don’t think so! Celina sold you to me because she needed
money!”
Leanne was wordless.
“You just have to pretend—that’s all! That won’t be hard, will it?
“You can’t control me, Madame! I’ll pay you the money that
contract is worth of.”
“Even you work till you aged, you can’t pay me, young lady.”

223
Leanne tried to get away from the pact. She thought of reasons to
throw.
Sophia continued, “Think of Celina, dear child. Do you want to see
your mother suffering in jail?”
“No,” she retorted.
“Good,” she exclaimed. “Go pack your things; we’re leaving!”
“Now?” she was stunned.
“Any problem?”
“None…”
“I’ll be waiting for you in the car,” she told her and she left.
The three ladies helped Leanne pack. The nuns were there too, but
they didn’t understand why she had to leave. She told them that she had to
work in a far place as an excuse.
Sister Charis asked solemnly, “But wouldn’t it be hard for you to
leave your mother here?”
“I’ll be taking Mama with me, Sister Charis,” she answered.
“Oh…”
“Will you be back in time for your elevation as novice?” asked
Sister Linda.
Leanne paused. She thought for a while when Sister Jasmine came,
and spoke for her, “Leanne… chose not to become a nun anymore.”
The nuns were appalled. Meanwhile, Leanne knew how hard it was
for the Sisters to accept. Yesterday, before she went to the hospital, she
already asked Sister Jasmine’s consent and blessing upon her withdrawal
for the novice level. Though she didn’t really tell her her reason, Sister
Jasmine trusted her.
“But why, Leanne?” asked the nuns.

224
She looked at them, gave one beautiful smile, and answered,
“Because that is what my heart wants.” She gawked at Sister Jasmine. The
nun have her a contented and pleased smile as a reply.
“How about your brother?” asked Sister Mariette.
“Andrew will be discharged today. Will he come with you?”
questioned Sister Charis.
She replied without doubting, “No, he won’t go with us…” She
sounded firm though there were traces of sadness and hopelessness.
The nuns starred at each other with confusion.
“He… can take care of himself now…” And he has Vanessa with
him.
“But won’t you tell him where you’re going?”
“He’s your brother after all…”
She smiled, “Can you do it for me? Tell him… Tell him it might
take years before we see each other again…”
“Years?”
She nodded.
Sister Jasmine embraced her and whispered into her ears,
“Sometimes… it is good to listen to the cry of the heart… Believe me; I’ve
been to that.”
She gaped at the gentle face of the old nun.
Sister Jasmine continued, “No one is stopping you, dear…Try to
let go from your own grasps, and taste the sweetness of freedom…”
She felt hurt surged down to her feelings. She was trying to block
her tears from falling down, but she was too weak to do it.
All of a sudden, a gush of strength reigned over her. She saw
herself running away from the nuns, down the stairs and out of the convent.
Madame Sophia’s car was there, but it didn’t hinder her from following the
beat of her heart.

225
Andrew… Andrew… His name echoed in her mind. Why am I so
stupid not to realize it?
He must know… before it’s too late… I don’t care if he rejects me
or tell me I’m a liar… It’s his fault, anyway. Why did he let me fall in love
with him, at the first place? It’s his fault why I’m running… It’s his fault
why I’m crying… … I’ll just have to tell him how I feel, and it’s up to him to
decide… So what if he’s my brother? I mean… I love him not in a brotherly
way… I love him like a woman loves a man… Do I sound funny? Perhaps,
people in love sound this way... And that melody… perhaps not only I and
Mama knew it… He must have known it in school…or in church… I don’t
care who he is… I don’t care if he’s only a carpenter or a poor salesman…
I don’t care if he lives in a small house… I don’t care if he breaks
promises…I knew that I love him…
Yesterday, before she went to visit Andrew in the hospital, she had
a talk with Sister Jasmine. She was certain. She knew she’s right, and she
had decided.
She asked the nun’s consent about her leaving the convent. She
wanted to withdraw from the vocation. She couldn’t lie to herself any more.
The more she tried to deny her feelings towards Andrew, the more they got
stronger—and it just hurt her seeing Andrew with someone else.
Nonetheless, Sister Jasmine understood her situation. She was glad
she realized that the convent wasn’t for her—that there was life outside the
‘creepy place’.
That was why she had the courage to tell Andrew yesterday about
breaking his condition. She was waiting for him to initiatively grasp what
she meant without revealing too much, because she wasn’t used to saying
her feelings to the opposite sex. It was the first time she fell in love… and
honestly, she found it troublesome.

226
But Andrew was too numb not to realize why she was there, and
Vanessa came unexpectedly… However, it was Leanne who was surprised
by the two—and that was painful. Why does first love hurt so much?

Then, she found herself in Andrew’s room at the hospital. But it


was empty. The bed was properly made. The curtains were taken to the
laundry. And Andrew wasn’t there.
He’s gone… Vanessa’s with him… He didn’t wait for me…
Sadly, she went out of the room. She trailed the corridor of the
hospital, crying.
Sister Jasmine is right… I should have realized it earlier… I
should have told him I love him… I should have listened to my heart…
Now, he’s gone… Now, he’s with someone else…Even though
sometimes he’s hard to understand… he’s still there for me… Even though I
refused… and hurt him… he still cared for me… But now, maybe he
realized I’m not worthy for him… maybe he got tired… maybe he realized
he really doesn’t love me…
It was so hard for her. Didn’t he say he’ll never leave her? Didn’t
he say he’ll be with her forever? Didn’t he say he’ll love her no matter
what?
“Leanne?”
She heard a familiar voice from behind. She turned to the source
and was entirely surprised when she saw Vanessa alone.
Vanessa went to her and slowly embraced her best friend. Is she
crying?
Vanessa was crying indeed. Leanne was perplexed. Did something
happen between him and Andrew?
Vanessa reached for her friend’s hand, sincerely looked straight
into her eyes, and conveyed, “I’m sorry for what I did…”

227
Huh?
She continued, “I’m sorry I lied to you…”
What are you talking about? Leanne couldn’t understand the sad-
looking Vanessa.
“Yesterday—what you saw was a lie… That kiss didn’t mean
anything…” she truthfully said.
What?
“Andrew told me everything…” Vanessa was blue. She sounded
sad and hurt. “He told me he wanted to protect you… He told me he’ll do
everything to keep you safe… He wanted you to be happy… And whatever
makes you happy makes him happy too…”
Did he really say that? She felt more tears falling down her
cheeks.
“Leanne, did you know he prays every night that you would forget
he is your brother?”
What?
“He doesn’t want to be your brother… because he loves you… He
told me those things yesterday—after you left…” She continued, “And he
was so hurt when he saw you cry… He said your tears yesterday weren’t
the same when you were in the tunnel…”
Finally, she found words to express herself, “What do you mean,
Vanessa?”
“We made it up for you… That was a lie…He knew you wanted to
be a nun… and he thought that he is a big pain for you… So, in order to
lessen your burden, he said he’ll just go…”
Vanessa tightly clutched the trembling hands of Leanne. She
persisted, “He loves you so much, Leanne… He left because he wants you
to be happy… He doesn’t want you to suffer… Did you know that he
remembers now?”

228
“What?” she was totally shocked.
“The ceiling made him remember,” there was a bit laughter in her
voice.
He remembers now? Yesterday, he knew who he was… But why
didn’t he tell me?
“And one reason why he wants to protect you—why he left—is
that he doesn’t want you to know who he was,” Vanessa said. “He said
you’ll hate him when you knew… He would understand if you’d hate him
because he left you, but if you’d hate him and the reason was for who he
was, he’ll die, Leanne—he told me that… He wouldn’t forgive himself.”
He remembers? Why is he like this? He always makes me cry…
Doesn’t he trust me? I’ll understand him… I’ll love him no matter who he
is…
“I’m sorry I lied to you… I’m sorry I made you cry, but I wanted
to help Andrew… and I love you… You’re my best friend… And if
Andrew thinks it’s the best thing to do, I’ll do it!” she continued.
“Where is he now?” her voice was wavering. It felt unusual. Why
did he leave me? She still couldn’t believe Andrew would do such thing.
“He didn’t tell me where he’s going.”
“What else did he tell you?” Leanne was so desperate.
“Leanne, relax,” Vanessa said. “That was all he told me… I’m
sorry…” She hugged the crying Leanne.

Sitting at the red velvet couch of the huge mansion, the young man
buried his face with his hands. He looked so tired and weary.
“Did you miss me?” an evil voice woke his senses.
The young man tried to control his anger but it was too strong that
it overpowered him. He ran to the brawny middle-aged man and hit him as
hard as he could. There was a loud sound which ricocheted at the high walls

229
of the room. The man was furious but he didn’t avenge himself. He just
gave his usual wicked grin and spoke, “That was really hard!”
“Why didn’t you tell me about my mother?!” Jayden enraged.
“Who? Celina?” he sounded mockingly.
“Why did you keep her away from me? Why didn’t you tell me I
have a sister?”
“Do you think I’m the right person to tell you that?”
There was silence. Jayden looked awfully angry. He looked like he
wanted to murder Liam.
Liam cut, “How’s the life with the nuns? Did you learn to pray?”
He was seriously making fun out of him.
“How did you know about the convent?” he questioned darkly.
“You still don’t believe in me, do you?”
Liam persisted, “Do they know you are a murderer?”
“I’m not a murderer!”
“You just killed Morgan!”
Morgan? He suddenly remembered the accident. I killed Morgan?
No! It can’t be! He’s a strong man… He couldn’t die … I didn’t mean to
shoot him… It should be the other man… but he blocked the shot…
Liam saw anxiety and confusion on Jayden’s face.
“That was the biggest shock in my entire life! Poor dimwitted
Morgan! He died in the hands of his trusted man!”
“I didn’t want to kill him!”
“But you did!”
“It was an accident!”
“Tell that to his family!”
Lily? Quintin?
“What did you do to them?”

230
“None! They still believe Morgan is innocent… I came to his
funeral, and I was so shocked that they have no idea about his job… Good
thing, I still had the good side of me and did not reveal Morgan’s evilness.”
“Morgan is different from you!”
“Yeah, I know! That’s why he died early!” he laughed.
“I want to kill you…” Jayden’s voice was so dark and cold…
“Then, do it now…” Liam countered confidently.
“You should be the one dead—not Morgan!”
“You should have shot me!”
“I’m not afraid to kill you!” He raised his gun, which he had been
hiding beneath his shirt.
Liam starred at him notwithstanding. He looked unmoved. He
wasn’t scared even though the gun could any time hit him.
He crookedly smiled and exclaimed, “Kill me Jayden! Kill me!”
“Yes… I’m gonna kill you!” his hands were trembling. His voice
was faltering. He’s sweating really hard. Jayden knew he was scared this
thing would happen. He knew he couldn’t shoot Liam, but he was blinded
by anger… All he knew this time was that he wanted to see that man dead!
“Kill me, Jayden, and let’s see what’ll happen to your family!!” he
cackled.
He froze.
Family? He suddenly thought of Leanne and Celina.
Liam turned on the television. There was an image of the convent.
The nuns were outside. Television reporters were feasting. There’s some
sort of commotion that distracted the sanctity of the place.
A bomb was found at the backyard of St. Therese Convent early
this afternoon. Mr. Sang, the convent’s plumber, was the one who
discovered it. Luckily, the explosive device had no timer. The nuns,
meanwhile, have no idea why such joke was played on them. This is ….

231
“You kill me, Jayden, and all the people you love will be placed to
your shoes!”
“Don’t touch them!”
“You know how I work, Jayden Lee… I love to involve people!”
he smiled wickedly.
The gun was still directed to Liam.
“This is between us!”
Liam just laughed.
Why can’t I kill him?
“Please…” he couldn’t believe he’s saying it. “Please… don’t
touch them…”
He chortled, “Are you actually begging me, young man?”
He dropped his gun and said, “Yes… please, stay away from
them.”
“I can’t hear you—”
He kneeled down, bowed his head, and spoke, “Please… leave
them alone…”
Liam found the scene so funny. He laughed, “I can’t believe you’re
doing this! A man with so much pride bowed to me?! What a disgrace!”
Jayden kept quiet.
He moved towards Jayden, “How can you think of others? Have
you forgotten—your mother left you?!”
Jayden kept his head down.
“She doesn’t love you! She loves your sister more than you!”
What?
“She sold you to me because she needed money for your sister’s
operation…”
What?! He raised his head and gaped at Liam’s hunting face.
“That’s not true! I don’t have a sister…” he tried to deny.

232
“I know you know it already… You said it a while ago… Leanne
Chae is your sister, Jayden!”
“No! I’m not Andrew!”
“Of course you’re not Andrew! Andrew is a lie! Celina made up
that character for Leanne to believe her!”
“What? I don’t understand…” he gasped.
“Leanne only heard of you on the phone… I don’t know why
Celina changed your name—why she used Andrew. She could have used
Jayden…” he said teasingly.
It’s getting complex…
“Are you wondering why you didn’t know you have a sister? …
It’s because Leanne was with me till she’s six… When Celina wanted to get
her, she got sick… Because she’s poor, she borrowed money in place of
you.”
“How were you involved here? How did Leanne get into your
hands?” Jayden sounded furiously sounded gray.
“Celina sold her to me! The only difference of your life stories is
that Celina paid for her to get her back… while in your case, she didn’t
bother to spend a cent to have you back… Did you ask her why?”
“You’re lying,” he’s panting. This is not true…
“Fine… It will not be my loss…”
“Leanne… believed you are her father?”
“Yeah—she called me Papa…” there was a sound of regret in his
voice. “I hope Celina didn’t destroy my name in front of her…”
No! Leanne can’t be my sister… I thought she’s only adopted…
after Mama sold me…
After he remembered, he thought Celina adopted a child to
accompany her. He thought Leanne was not his mother’s daughter, because
as far as he knew he didn’t remember having a sister.

233
So, Leanne is really my sister. That explains everything! The
melody—it proves our familial relatedness. Mama taught it to me before he
sold me to Liam, and she had Leanne. She taught her the piano and now I
learned that the girl I love is indeed my sister!
Thinking this hurt him.
Leanne was right at the beginning! I should have stopped myself
from falling in love with her…
“You should be hating everyone—especially your mother and
Leanne!”
“I can’t do that…”
“Why not? Leanne was the reason why your life is like this; why
you have become a murderer; why you are so angry now! She put you here,
Jayden!”
He stood up.
“Where are you going?” asked Liam.
“Any where…” he answered.
“You can’t leave the house!”
“Why not?”
“Because the police is hunting you!”
“What?”
“Because you were too stupid to give your ID to Thomas…”
“Thomas?”
“He took your ID, right? He was a hired man of Robert Lee… but I
had him disposed,” answered Liam as he sat at the couch.
Jayden decided to stay. His anger rose all the more. He’s mad at
everybody… to Celina and even to Leanne.
Liam is right! I shouldn’t be loving someone who destroyed my
life…

234
Chapter 20

235
A month had passed and Leanne was staying at Madame Sophia’s
mansion. Celina, as promised, was taken cared of by a private asylum in the
south. Leanne was very happy of her mother’s development. She’s getting
better every day.
Leanne heard of the bomb scare at the convent, and she had their
safety prayed every night. Mr. Henry Heo was coming today. They had
Leanne prepared. She was taught to speak three languages in one month.
She was taught proper etiquette. She was taught how to dress as a lady. Of
course, she’s doing this until the contract expires.
Madame Sophia, if you got to know her more, was a kind person.
She looked strict but actually she’s not. She’s friendly if you’re also
friendly. The golden rule was her guiding principle.
She told Leanne how they lost the real Arabella.
After a month the little princess was born, her mother died because
of complications. Mr. Heo, her Daddy, went abroad to focus on the
international market. He said he’d go for healing reasons too. Little
Arabella was entrusted to her aunt. But an incident happened that changed
the entire course of their lives. The baby was kidnapped after strange men
ambushed the car that drove Sophia and the baby from a special gathering.
The baby’s kidnapping was never released for the people’s gorging ears.
And also, Henry was ignorant of her child’s whereabouts. Sophia kept it for
years because she feared her brother’s wrath. She couldn’t afford to break
his heart the second time. However, for fourteen years, she never lost hope
to finding Arabella.
Even the maids and workers of the mansion got no idea of
Arabella’s absence. They knew that the princess was studying in France and
would only come back whenever she wanted.
“Just relax, dear. My brother won’t notice it,” she told Leanne.

236
Leanne wore a deep pink cocktail dress that revealed her beautiful
shoulders and her back’s soft-ivory color. Sophia chose a pair of silver
stilettos that were embroidered with pink diamonds shaped into ribbons.
Her hair was curled into big beautiful locks, and she wore light make-up
that enhanced her face’s beauty.
She took a deep breath and replied, “Aunty,”—that’s part of the
job, “what if he won’t believe me?”
“You’ll be fine, dear…”
“Madame,” a maid came. She wore a cute uniform with puffed
sleeves. She continued, “Sir Henry has arrived.”
“Thank you, Martha,” she said. Sophia felt how cold Leanne’s
hands.
“Arabella,” she enunciated the name, “Let’s meet your father.” She
smiled.
And they went outside to meet the rich Henry Heo.
A tall man with a good built went out of a silver 2009 Jaguar XF.
He wore glasses but looked handsome.
“Hello, Henry!” greeted Sophia.
Leanne thought her body was petrified. She forced her lips to
smile, but her heart was just so nervous she couldn’t paint her feelings.
Henry turned her way. He examined the young lady, then smiled,
“You’re more beautiful than what I’ve expected!”
He embraced the young lady.
“She looks like Marissa!” exclaimed the over-joyed Henry.
“No, she looks more like me!” Sophia countered.
Isn’t she nervous?, Leanne wondered. Sophia was confidently
smiling while she was freezing because of edginess.
“You look quite different in the pictures,” he marveled.
Oh, no!

237
“But I like you more in person!”
Whew!
“Arabella?” Sophia signaled.
Oh!
“Hi, Dad!” she said. She pressed her lips and smiled. She
continued, “How’s Germany?”
“Great! What about you, how’s Paris?”
“Marvelously splendid!” she found that Henry wasn’t too boring to
talk with. This man has a sense of humor, she thought.
“I see you’ve enjoyed,” they talked while entering the mansion.
Sophia saw how they got along with each other.
“Yeah! Paris,” she looked at Sophia, then spoke, “is stunning and
romantic!”
“Romantic?” Henry sounded snoopy. “Can you spell it out for
me?”
Well, she remembered the only man she loved. After that day, she
never heard of him. She tried to find him but Sophia said he’ll just be a
sweet distraction to her job. And besides, how ever she looked for him, she
knew he wouldn’t let her find him.
“Well, I had—once. But…”
“But?”
“He left me,” she ended.
“Oh,” Henry’s face turned sour. “Who’s that good-for-nothing
man? How dare he hurt my princess?”
Sophia cut and spoke for her, “Some rich businessman’s son!”
“Do I know him?”
“I don’t think so!” Sophia continued.
They had lunch together.
“Arabella, will you come with me tomorrow?”

238
Leanne wasn’t used to be called Arabella, thus, she had not replied.
Also, the memories of Andrew filled her mind. They’re troubling her again.
“Arabella, Henry’s calling you,” Sophia cautiously said.
Oh!
“Is there something wrong with the food?” asked Henry.
She moved her head sideways.
“What’s the matter, dear?” questioned the concerned Sophia as she
saw different Leanne was this time.
“I… just remembered something…” she answered.
“May I know what was that?” inquired the nosy ‘Daddy’.
“Just… insignificant thing,” she induced a smile.
“Okay…” Henry uttered.
“Henry, when will you introduce Arabella to the public?” asked
Sophia.
Introduce? To the public? Her ears rang.
“I’ll have you find a date, Sophie… any time this month,” spoke
Henry as he helped himself with a glass of Old English wine.
What are they talking about?
“That’ll be exciting!” cried Sophia.
“Aunty, what do you mean by introducing me to the public?” she
questioned.
Sophia answered, “It’s like your 18th birthday, but without 18
roses.”
“And besides, I have to announce my retirement,” said Henry.
“Retirement?!” she was flabbergasted. What retirement?
“You’ll soon be managing the company, and the investors must
meet the future President,” Henry continued. He added, “I like how this was
brewed! Where did you buy this, Sophie?” He was referring to the wine.
“Arabella chose that bottle for you!”

239
“Oh, my daughter sure has great taste!”
“Dad,” This feels awkward! “You can’t retire! You’re too young
for retirement.”
“I won’t be retiring right after your presentation, honey. I’ll have
you trained first. And when you’re ready, you can have the business.”
She looked perturbed. She gazed at Sophia, who was enjoying the
vanilla ice cream on her salver. I thought I’ll just be pretending? How does
managing the company suddenly get involved?
“Oh, about your 18th birthday, you haven’t sent me pictures,
Arabella,” said Henry.
Pictures? I hadn’t even celebrated my debut!
“Arabella, didn’t have one…” Finally, Sophia was worried by the
situation.
Henry’s eyes looked surprise, “Why?”
Leanne’s mouth wouldn’t open. One mistake and I’m dead! Sophia
stuttered, “Because she was in Paris, Henry…”
“I see—maybe we can have her 18th birthday celebrated during the
presentation,” Henry suggested with delight.
“That’s a good idea!” Sophia yelled. She persisted, “Isn’t it, dear?”
This sounds trouble…
“Don’ you like the idea, Arabella?” inquired Henry.
“Err—of course, I do, Dad…” but her voice did not sound thrilled.

That night, after visiting Celina at the asylum, Leanne went to Geu
Sam. She still didn’t understand why she loved going there. Actually, she
thought that there’s no point of going to that place anymore, since she knew
that Andrew was her brother, and not the strange guy.
She went to the tunnel and sat at her usual place. She waited for
the park to close, so that she could have it all by herself.

240
She stared at the side opposite her—that was the place where
Andrew sat and made his promise.
She remembered, “Will you promise me not to fall in love with
me?” his eyes were adorably warm.
“Cause when you confess to me that you love me, I’ll not hesitate
to take you away…”
Andrew, why do you hide yourself from me? If it’s impossible for
us, then I’m settled with only seeing you—even for a couple of minutes—
I’m fine with it! I just want to see your handsome eyes… your unparalleled
smile… I want to hear your cold but melancholic voice pass into my ears…
I want to feel the warmth of your touch… even for just a while…
Out of the blue, she heard a voice—a familiar voice of an old
woman, “What are you doing there, young lady?”
She moved up and greeted the woman.
“Weren’t you that lady who asked me to give a letter?”
She suddenly remembered the woman. Yes, you were that woman!
“Good evening, Grandma…” she respectfully bowed her head
again.
“So, did you meet with him?” she asked as she led her out the
tunnel.
Him? Oh, the strange guy?
“No, he didn’t come…” she found her voice sounding sad—and
she wondered why the tone was blue.
“Really? He did not? But I am sure I had handed it to him.”
“Perhaps… he had some things done…”
“But I’m sure you had talked… There was a time when I saw both
of you going out of the gate…” she said directly.
“That wasn’t him, Grandma,” she smiled. “That was Andrew…”
“Andrew? Isn’t he the guy you are always waiting for?”

241
“No, Grandma…” she was getting confused. Andrew couldn’t be
that strange kind guy… “They are different persons…”
“No… I’m sure he was that man! He was that very man who
received your letter…”
“Grandma, Andrew can’t be him…” her voice was obviously
changing.
“He was really that man, young lady—I swear!” the woman’s eyes
were sincere. She continued, “They look exactly the same—a pair of
handsome raven-black eyes, a little lengthy hair, that sometimes would
cover his eyes, and a nose that is so perfectly shaped…”
Andrew… She felt her heart thudding the way it thudded before.
The unusual feeling was there again. That is so impossible to happen! She
tried not to believe the woman, but her descriptions were right—perfect!
Her pair of eyes was almost like a fountain of sad water wherein a little kick
of sad news would make it squirt.
She battled with what she believed and what she knew was
possibly right.
“I won’t lie to you, young lady,” added the woman. Then she
noticed her silent tears, “Are you crying?”
“Why am I always late, Grandma?” she cried.
“Huh?” the woman marveled.
First, I didn’t realize that Andrew could possibly be my brother,
which I hope is wrong. Second, I only realized that I love him when he
thought that my chosen vocation was what I wanted. Third, I only knew that
he had already remembered his past when he left me… And now, I am so
stupid not to know that it was him all along… I was after all talking to the
man I love… I was after all talking and quarreling with the man that
inspired me… I was after all living with him… He was just a room away
from me… Why am I so stupid not to recognize his voice?

242
“Young lady?”
She cried and cried and cried. Andrew… …
“He was here last night, you know…” she added.
Her eyes widened. The news wiped her tears.
“I even thought you met,” said Grandma.
Met? I haven’t seen him for like a hundred years!
“You looked like you quarreled…”
What?
“I saw you enter the tunnel, and he went up the bridge—only that
he left earlier than you, that’s why I thought you fought.”
Oh, no! Fate was playing with them.

What she discovered hunted her the whole night. She could not
sleep. She cried at one corner of Arabella’s room and she held at her hands
the watch the strange guy, Andrew, left.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m going to find you… I
promise…

The next day, Leanne was surprised when Henry asked her to dress
up. He said he’ll be taking her to the company to start her first few lessons.
Of course, Sophia went with them—she insisted.
While walking down the hallways of Henry’s company, which was
called HWB Corporation, Sophia whispered to her as she explained the
things Henry told Leanne in the car about her lessons, “You don’t have to
worry—you’re a bright girl. You just have to deal with graphs and tables.”
She obviously didn’t have any experience in the business, Leanne observed.
“But you have to be careful with Mr. Lee.”
“Mr. Lee? Who is he?” she asked while pacing behind Henry.
“He will be one of your teachers—Marketing and Finance.”

243
Marketing and Finance? What is that?
“He’ll be teaching you how to sell products and how to budget,”
continued Sophia softly. She was crossing her fingers for Henry not hear
them.
“I think I’ll do good with that!” she told Sophia. Talking about my
marketing life in the convent—I sold baskets, candies and eggs. And talking
about my financial life, I could say I am a bad budget machine.
“That’ll be easy for you!” she smiled.
“That Mr. Lee—why do I have to be cautious when I’m with
him?”
“Because he’s very observant, he doesn’t like mistakes and he asks
a lot of questions—and he’s very controversial!” the last sounded odd.
He must be very old… He must have a very sad life…
“Arabella?” Henry called. She continued, “Mr. Lee would be
spending his morning with you.”
“Will Aunty Sophie be with me?”
“No, dear… I’ll be shopping you clothes… and I’ll be planning for
your coming presentation,” she cheerfully answered.
She felt a sudden gush of independence.
“Here’s the function room. He’s inside by now,” Henry said. And
she kissed her goodbye. Sophia went with him too.

244
Chapter 21

Leanne entered. There was a very long table that was shaped into
oval. The lights were very bright but the brightest was the biggest which
was at the center of the ceiling. There were computers and telephones at
each desk. And at the middle of the wall just behind the President’s chair
was the big logo of the company—and there sat the famed Mr. Lee. But he

245
wasn’t looking at her. His seat was turned back. She could only see his long
arm and his right hand playing with his pen.
She took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and spoke, “Mr. Lee?”
The chair turned to her, and she was appalled with what she saw.
Mr. Lee wasn’t the old man she was expecting, and what struck her more
was that he looked exactly like… Andrew!
“Andrew?” she murmured as she scrutinized the handsome face of
the strange man in front of her. Her eyes widened. She couldn’t believe
Andrew was there.
“Good morning, Miss Arabella Heo,” coldly greeted the man as he
offered a hand shake. He sounds like him too… She couldn’t take her eyes
off him.
She slowly received his hand but her gaze was at him.
“Nice meeting you,” his voice was monotonous. “Please have a
seat…” She walked to the chair beside him like a robot. She was terribly
shocked. Is he Andrew?
The man was scanning some papers while Leanne continuously
stared at him like there’s no tomorrow. He spoke, unaware of Leanne’s
serious gaze, “My name is Jayden Lee…”
Jayden Lee? So, he’s not Andrew? … But why do they look the
same? They look like… twins…
He continued, still not minding her stare, “—probably you have
heard of me on televisions and newspapers… I am working for my Dad’s
company, Executive Junior VP… I’m 21 and I’m undergoing Masters
Program in Finance and Management.”
“Mr. Heo asked me to do this as a favor—and I couldn’t refuse,”
he added.

246
“So, you’ll be seeing me almost… everyday. Morning, 9 to 12. Do
you have any background about Marketing and Finance?” he asked as he
turned his gape to the allayed and astonished Leanne.
“Are you listening, Ms. Heo?” he made sure.
She nodded her head.
“So, do you know anything about Marketing and Finance?”
Why does he look exactly like Andrew? His eyes, nose and lips…
and even the way he speaks… his voice was also the same with him… Could
this guy be Andrew, and that he’s pretending he doesn’t know me?
“Miss Heo?”
She murmured again softly, “Andrew?”
“Excuse me?”
“What is happening…. to you… Andrew? Why are you doing this
to me?” she forestalled the tears in her eyes.
He’s Andrew! This man is Andrew! This is the real Andrew… I
can’t be wrong…
The young man was shocked. He said, “What are you talking
about?” He saw how sad her eyes were.
“Andrew…” she was really crying now.
“Andrew?” he gasped. “I’m not… Andrew…”
“Please… stop doing this…” she said.
“I’m sorry… but I think you’re mistaken, Miss…”
No! Stop lying to me… I know it’s you, Andrew…
“I don’t know what’s happening, but I can assure you I’m not
Andrew,” he stated. Seeing the lady in tears disturbed him a lot.
He continued, “Now, will you stop cracking this joke to me? It’s
not funny…”
Joke? …

247
“Just tell me if you’re ready. Here’s my calling card,” he threw a
thin golden card on Leanne’s desk. “I can’t teach you if you’re like this…
Call me if every thing’s fine…” And he stood up and went out of the room.
Leanne was left really confused. She strongly believed that Jayden
Lee was Andrew.
She thought, why did it look so easy for him to see me? Was he
expecting me? Why did he deny the truth? I know he remembered me…
She took the card and stare at it. She read the name plated on it on
her mind, Jayden Lee.

Her driver chauffeured her to the asylum. She was not planning to
visit Celina this early but since her class was deferred, she thought seeing
her mother was not a bad substitute. Moreover, she wanted ears to listen to
her, and she knew Celina could do it. After several treatments, the doctor
said that Celina was a perfect example of a recovering patient. Not so
sooner, she’d be recuperating her sanity. And Leanne perceived her
mother’s changes, in terms of her attitude towards her. She’s nice to her
now. She even doubted Celina’s improvement because of the sudden
kindness. Now, she worried to her like she was her daughter—unlike
before. However, she found it good.
Inside the car, Leanne was still troubled by the meeting just a
while ago. She was looking for reasons that pushed Andrew to overlook
her. She tried to connect the puzzles. She didn’t understand why Andrew
had to hide his real identity. It’s not bad to be an Executive Junior VP of a
large company… she reasoned out.
And they arrived. The asylum was a four-storey spherical building.
It really looked like a ball or a globe.

248
She straightly went to her mother’s room. Celina was there busily
filling a coloring book with purple crayon. Celina hardly noticed people
coming. She’d only know you’re there if you make sounds.
Leanne sat at the other chair, glared at her mother’s drawing and
said, “Mama, I’m here…”
Celina, for a while looked at her, smiled, and then got back with
coloring.
She carried on, “Mama, I saw Andrew today…” Her voice was
soft.
Celina gaped at her like she understood her.
“But I don’t think he wanted to see me,” conveyed Leanne.
“Andrew?” Celina asked.
She nodded.
“Andrew’s gone…” she sadly said.
“No, Mama, I found him…”
“Andrew’s dead… He died a long time ago…”
“Mama, he’s alive…”
Leanne thought Celina wasn’t well enough.
“No, he died when he was ten…”
“Andrew was gone when he was seven, Mama—you told me,” she
countered.
“No,” Celina sounded she was certain of what she was talking. She
continued, “Andrew died because of leukemia…”
Andrew? Leukemia?
Leanne was getting confused again. Andrew is Jayden Lee! He’s
alive—I saw him!
“My poor little brother…”
Brother?
“He died because I was so far away from him…”

249
“Mama, what are you talking about?”
Celina threw the purple color to the window, and picked another
color. On her paper, she drew four stick people.
What is she doing? Leanne gaped at the drawing curiously.

“What is that, Mama?”


Celina pointed at the taller drawing.
“Is that you, Mama?”
Celina nodded.
“Then, who’s this one?” Leanne pointed out the second drawing.
“Andrew!”
“And who are these two?” she pointed out the other two.
Celina was silent. She added altered the drawing.

Leanne wondered what it meant.

250
Celina pointed at the second drawing, and said, “Andrew…
dead…” Then she pointed at the drawing with glasses, “And Yoon took the
boy…”
“Who’s the boy, Mama?” her voice was shaky.
Celina didn’t reply, but she pointed again the man with glasses and
said, “Leanne’s daddy…” She smiled.
“Daddy?”
She nodded, and added, “Bad! Bad daddy!”
“Mama, how did Daddy get involved here? …”
Celina looked at Leanne, touched her face and said, “Mama’s
sorry… Mama’s sorry…” The young lady was so surprised to see Celina
crying. She embraced the poor Celina.
After getting Celina into sleep, Leanne went back to Henry’s
mansion. She was thinking she had to find answers for the questions that
crammed her mind.
For days, Leanne sought help from an investigator. She had to find
Arthur. He could be the key for answers. Arthur’s whereabouts were
nondescript after those strange men robbed into their house, and threatened
Celina to madness.
Leanne knew Arthur could help because he had known Celina
since they were young.
Finally, Leanne located Arthur, her mother’s live-in partner. They
were never married because Celina didn’t want to.
The man was now working as a construction worker, and Leanne
went to see her.
“Tell me everything you knew about Mama,” she asked.
Arthur evilly grinned, and said, “Look at you now—you look rich!
I shouldn’t have left Celina…”

251
“You left Mama… Did you know how scared she was?” she
sounded mad.
He answered, “Of course! I saw everything! I saw how they hurt
her.”
“And you… you just left her…”
“Well, I got scared too! I didn’t want to die! It was your mother’s
fault!” He continued, “I told her to leave the house, but she insisted of
staying. She said she can’t leave you… She’s really unpredictable!”
Mama? Leanne felt moved. Mama after all loves me…
“So, what’s that you want to ask?” he suddenly seemed interested.
“Tell me about Andrew! Mama said he’s my brother, but now
she’s saying he’s her brother,” she sounded baffled.
“Good thing I’ve known Celina my entire life!” he started.
“Andrew is not your brother, Leanne. He is Celina’s… He died when he
was around ten…”
“Because of leukemia?” she found words to describe her
uneasiness.
“Yes, because of leukemia… She was so heartbroken. She blamed
herself for Andrew’s death… The boy was at Incheon, while she was here,
working as a maid. Her salary wasn’t enough for Andrew’s medication, so
she thought of borrowing money from a loan shark—big time. Now, she
had Andrew brought to good hospitals. She borrowed money until her debt
grew larger and larger. Then, she realized that she could no longer pay him
back. Thus, that rich loan shark gave her a condition. He would forget about
her debt if she would work for him, and still she could get money for
Andrew’s continuous medication. Celina did not hesitate. She followed
whatever that man told her, just to save her little brother from death…”
He continued, “Celina didn’t marry after Andrew’s death… That’s
why I stayed with her… I love her…” He seemed sad.

252
“Mama didn’t marry?” she shockingly questioned.
He nodded, “You are not her daughter… She never had one… and
that boy who she cared for wasn’t hers either…”
All of a sudden, she remembered the drawing. There were two
other persons there. Could I be one between the two?
“I don’t understand,” she gasped.
“The man was threatening Celina to do something for him. He
knew that she works as a maid for a rich businessman, who happened to be
his enemy, I suppose—that was what Celina told me… And he told her to
kidnap her Master’s son and keep him until he grows… Celina did it—no
one knew it was her who took the baby. After a month, Andrew died… She
was so depressed… She blamed herself for not being with him even for his
last minutes… So, Celina displaced her frustration to the boy. She
considered him her own… That boy was a loving one… He knew that
Celina was her mother. For years, they lived like normal people… But one
day, that evil man just appeared to see Celina. The boy was at school that
time; he was seven, I think. He told Celina to give him the boy. Celina
refused, but he threatened her. He said he’d kill the boy if she rebuffed
him… Celina, stupid as she was, gave the boy. She loved him so much like
her own… That day, she went home with you…you were six that time…
And she was bringing with her bags of money… I was surprised of her
sudden wealth—really.”
Leanne gasped with disbelief.
Arthur spotted shock on the girl’s face, “I was surprised to see you,
Leanne. I wondered where she got you… And what shocked me the most
was when you started calling her ‘Mama’”
That loan shark… that evil man… is my father?
“I asked her what happened… I asked her how she got you… But
she wouldn’t tell me… The only thing she told me was that to keep it a

253
secret… But now, since you asked, I think you have the right to know the
truth…”
“Are you not lying to me?” she still couldn’t trust Arthur.
“Of course! What would I get if I lie to you?”
“But why did Mama tell me that I have a brother?”
“I told you she was frustrated by her brother’s death! She told you
that the boy’s name is Andrew because she still hadn’t forgotten about
him…”
Leanne thanked Arthur, then she left without doubt. Now she knew
that Celina wasn’t really her mother, and that Andrew isn’t really her
brother. But there’s something that troubled her mind.
Andrew is not my brother… She felt a sudden feeling of subtlety.
But, she cut her easiness, who was that boy who Mama cared for before
me? He’s with an evil man… He’s with my father… And why did he give me
to other people? What’s his reason?

The following week, Sophia had been so busy with Arabella’s


party that she did not notice Leanne’s out-of-mindedness.
Leanne, on the other hand, hadn’t called Jayden Lee yet. She didn’t
know how to explain her odd behavior last time. She was also bothered by
his real identity—if he’s really Andrew or not—how on earth did two
different people share the same face—and why did he deny that he wasn’t
Andrew that in fact he looks like Andrew.
One time, she received a call from Jayden Lee.
“Why did you call?” she asked coyly. I can’t face him… I don’t
know why I feel so ashamed of what I did—though I know I am right…
“I want to make up with you,” he really sounded like Andrew.
“What?”
“I know it was rude for me to treat you that way,”

254
She was speechless.
“I was worried because you haven’t called me. I thought you hated
me for what I did,” said he.
“Don’t worry; I don’t hate you,” she responded.
“What about dinner? Will you be free tonight?” he asked. He
seemed hopeful, Leanne thought.
She was surprised. She dropped her jaw.
“It’s okay if you refu…”
Leanne cut, “No—I’ll see you.” There’s something I want to know.
“Okay. Seven o’clock at…”
“At Geu Sam Park… I’ll see you at the bridge,” then she dropped
her phone.
She told herself, I want to know if you’re Andrew or not…

Chapter 22

255
Leanne arrived at Geu Sam five minutes late. She did it purposely.
When she reached the bridge, she saw a tall figure of a man. He wasn’t
wearing formal business attire but casual clothes, specifically black jeans
and a pallid white shirt underneath his jacket.
She thought it was Andrew, but the man called her ‘Arabella’.
“Why are we here, Arabella?” Jayden Lee asked.
“There’s something I want to ask you…”
“What?”
She took in air, and spoke, “Who are you, Jayden Lee?”
Jayden was surprised, astoundingly surprised, “What’s happening,
Arabella?”
“Do you have a brother?”
“Arabella?”
“Answer me, Jayden!”
“Yes, I had…”
“What’s his name?”
“Johann…” he sounded annoyed.
Johann?
“Where is he now?”
“Why are you asking this?”
“Just answer me…”
“We don’t know… He’s dead maybe…”
“He’s not dead… He’s alive…”
“What? What are you talking about? How did you know these
things?” Jayden was obviously puzzled.
Leanne immediately asked, “What made you think he’s dead?”

256
“He was kidnapped. We lost him when he was a baby,” answered
Jayden. “And we never heard of him until then.”
“Who kidnapped him?” her questions were never ending.
“We don’t know… some maid maybe or…”
“Maid?” her voice faltered. “Celina did it—no one knew it was her
who took the baby,” she remembered what Arthur told her. Mama?
Then she realized Andrew was that boy! Andrew is with my Dad!
He was the boy Mama kidnapped! She couldn’t control the tears. She felt
her tears falling down her cheeks.
She felt sympathy for him. It’s my dad who destroyed his life! For
all people, why Andrew—why Johann? She sympathize his fate.
“Are you crying, Arabella?”
“I’m sorry,” she was about to wipe her tears but Jayden had
already placed his fingers below her eyes. She felt a sense of uneasiness.
“Sorry,” Jayden took off his fingers.
Leanne nodded, then she looked straight into his eyes and
answered, “I thought you were him.”
“That… Andrew? Is he… my brother?”
She nodded.
He countered, “I don’t understand… He’s dead… We tried
everything to find him… but…”
“I tried to do that too,” she told him.
“Can you please explain to me everything?”
Then, she told him how she found Andrew outside the convent—
about his amnesia—about how she thought he was her brother.
There was sadness in the handsome face of Jayden Lee.
“So, that’s why you brought me here—to know if I’m not lying to
you? To make sure I’m not Johann?”
“Yes,” she replied.

257
“You love him?”
She nodded.
“Don’t worry, I’ll find him… I’ll tell Dad about this,” he said.
“Jayden,” she cut. “About your father, did he look for Andrew, I
mean Johann?”
“Of course, he did! He did everything he could…”
“Does your father have any rivals at business?” she remembered
Arthur saying that the reason Liam kidnapped the baby was rivalry.
“Everyone has, Arabella, even your Dad,” what he meant was
Henry.
“Any specific names?”
“I don’t know… But there is someone who is really trying to
destroy our family,” his voice became dark.
“Who?” Leanne was getting scared.
“We’re not yet sure who he is. He is framing me. He’s using my
name!” he was furious.
He used your name? Leanne remembered the news on TV about a
son trying to assassinate his father. What’s that name again?
“You were that son?” she was perplexed.
He nodded.
“But you didn’t do it, did you?”
“That’s nonsense!”
Then, she tried to bring all the puzzles in. The night I saw
Andrew… that was also the night the assassination was plotted. I saw him
heavily wounded, and he was wearing a life vest underneath his shirt. The
ID card that was left at the basement has Jayden’s name and picture
pasted… Since they’re twins, they look the same… So, if Jayden wasn’t the
one who plotted the murder, then, it could be Andrew… Their twins! You
would mistake them as one person…

258
Could Andrew be the assassin? Her chest was pounding
thunderously. There’s only one person who wanted to kill Robert Lee—and
it’s my Dad! Daddy has Andrew! He could have asked him to kill Robert
Lee, his own father! But of course, Andrew has no idea he’ll be killing his
father!
That time, she wanted to cry—really cry—release all the despair
and frustration. She couldn’t believe Andrew is a murderer. That’s why he
left! He doesn’t want me to know he’s a… he’s a… killer… She felt her
body heavy; her mind mixing, her sight blurring, her breathe falling.
And she fainted.

Leanne had been asleep for 24 hours. Sophia was always there to
look for her, and sometimes Henry—he couldn’t leave work. Jayden also
went to visit.
It was a sunny day when Leanne opened her eyes. It was Andrew’s
face that welcomed her heavy eyes.
“Andrew?” she saw Andrew’s gorgeous face smiling at her.
“Arabella?” he also sounded Andrew.
“Arabella, it’s Jayden…” It was Jayden!
He helped her sit at her bed.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“No; where am I?” she inquired as she surveyed the whole room.
“You’re in the hospital. You fainted last night, so I brought you
here,” Jayden drew a chair near her and sat.
“Where are they?” she was referring to Henry and Sophia.
“Henry is meeting the Brazilian investors, while Sophia is doing
the last preparation for tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? What’s happening tomorrow?”
“Your party,” he answered.

259
“Party?” Oh, that one! “Oh! Okay, I remember now…” She
watched Jayden play with an apple.
Should I tell him that my Dad’s behind for all of these?
“Jayden, my dad…”
“What about Henry?”
“No—not Henry…”
“What do you mean ‘not Henry’?”
Should I tell him that my real Dad is the one causing all these
trouble?
“Nothing…”
All of a sudden, Sophia arrived. She brought with her boxes of
dresses. Leanne found it a waste of money, but she was paid to wear them,
thus, she had no choice.

HWB Corporation had a 100-storey building consuming a 15-


hectare land. The function hall, which was triple the size of the Kodak
theatre was filled with guests: important people around the world, stock
holders, investors, senators and congressmen, foreign Prime Ministers, and
selected press people.
At Arabella’s room, Leanne had the chance to talk with Sophia.
“Aunty, I don’t think I can do this…”
“Of course you can,” she encouraged Leanne as she fixed the gems
on the young lady’s gown. Leanne was wearing a dark pink designer’s
gown embroidered with expensive real diamonds and ruby. It revealed her
beautifully shaped shoulders and flawless back. Her hair was neatly and
simply curled into fine and elegant locks that were festooned with tiny
shimmering things. Leanne looked so beautiful that she almost fit to be
called a ‘real princess’.

260
“But I’m not Arabella… The real Arabella deserves this,” she said
as she gaped at herself at the mirror. She thought she looked different.
“Let’s talk about that thing after tonight,” Sophia responded.
And she was accompanied by Jayden to the hall. The room was
definitely large. Leanne was awed by its sophistication. The people looked
perfectly stylish, beautiful and rich! I’m the only poor here, she thought.
As she went down the outsized green marble staircase enveloped
with exceptional scarlet runner, Jayden was tightly holding her soft ivory
hand. She felt a little queerness. Jayden moved her lips to her ears, which
struck her and created noise among the people, and whispered, “You look
beautiful.” It sounded Andrew. How she hoped it was Andrew who
delicately whispered into her ears and said those magical words, but it was
Jayden. Though a little disappointed, she thanked him.
Then she just heard, “Ladies and Gentlemen, HWB Corporation is
proud to present the empire’s only princess, Miss Arabella Heo!” She heard
all the applause of the people.
Those claps… aren’t for me… Deep inside her, she was bleeding;
she couldn’t help but cry. She was not used to deceiving people. Yet, she
couldn’t understand why she was smiling in spite the guilt.
The party was great. Leanne, Arabella rather got to meet all the
important people of the company. Gentlemen danced with her but it was
Henry who luckily got the last one.
Everyone seemed to be enjoying but Leanne. She was thinking of
Andrew and the life he had been having for fourteen years. She blamed
herself for destroying his life. Her father was the ultimate reason.
The party was not ending yet but Leanne went out of the hall. She
told Sophia and Henry that she’s tired as an excuse.

261
A young man was feverishly and wrathfully striding the long
corridors of a large house. He entered a room and furiously yelled at the
man sitting at a high chair.
“What do you think you’re doing?!”
The man sitting at the high chair gave an evil innocent face.
“You want me to kill…”
He cut, “Arabella Heo?”
Jayden fell into wordlessness. He was there, at the party. He was
supposed to shoot Arabella when he realized it was Leanne. Thus, the
Assassination of the Princess was cancelled. Now he had his fury directed
to Liam again.
Liam grinned, “Don’t tell me you fail again?”
“I’m not your toy!”
“Toy? You agreed with me! How come you call yourself a toy?!”
He gasped, his cold voice breaking, “Arabella Heo is Leanne!!”
“So, what?”
“You wanted me to kill Leanne!” he’s angry. Any time now, his
fist would land into Liam’s face.
“I don’t care if Leanne’s dead! And why should you care too? I
thought you hate her now?” Liam was wickedly teasing him. “She stole
your future! She stole your mother!”
“I love her!!” his black-raven eyes were scorching.
Liam just laughed, “You? Love her?”
He adjoined, “What a pathetic little story!”
“I might hate her but I can’t kill her!” he stated.
“She’s your sister, Jayden! You can never have her!” shouted
Liam.
Jayden didn’t reply. He found no words to fire.

262
Liam persisted with a laugh, “Come on, young man! What’s the
point of sparing that girl’s life? She’s the reason why you’re here! Look at
her now! She’s enjoying someone else’s life—and you, you’re suffering!”
“I warned you not to involve them!”
“That wasn’t part of the agreement,” he stated. He continued, “Let
me remind you—you kill Arabella and you take your freedom!”
“That was before! That was before when I didn’t knew she’s
Leanne!”
“That’s the same, Jayden! They’re the same person!”
“I won’t kill her!!”
Liam laughed.
“Tell me, why do you want her killed?”
“Because I pity you…” Liam sounded remorseful. “Jayden, I’m
the only person who cares for you… I want her out of the way. So, I’ll do
everything to get rid of her.”
“That’s nonsense!”
“Call that whatever you want…” he took away his glimpse from
the enraged young man. He continued, “Do you want to come with me? I
have some surprise for you!”
“No!” And Jayden went out of the room, bearing pain in his heart.
I was there… I could have killed her…

263
Chapter 23

“Andrew, where are you?” Leanne called. She was in a dark large
empty warehouse. She was still wearing her gown which its gems were the
only ones that gave light to the place.
Before the party started, someone called her to go to this place.
The man’s voice was friendly but it didn’t sound Andrew. He said he’d be
bringing Andrew with him, and Leanne believed him. That was why, even
the party hadn’t ended yet, she went right away.
“Andrew?” her voice was so thin. There were lights—only the
high windows were bringing dull brightness inside as they reflected the
moon’s shine.
There were large wooden boxes around, piled up into fives and
sixes. It was a scary place but Leanne didn’t feel any fear.
“Andrew?” her voice was gentle as it echoed to the walls of the
warehouse.
All of a sudden, everything went dark. Leanne didn’t know how it
happened but perhaps the windows were blocked with solid sheets that
would prevent the entrance of moonlight.
It was really dark. She couldn’t see anything, not even her jewels.
Her voice was suddenly sounding frightened, “Andrew… where
are you?”

264
Then, a strong light shocked her eyes. It was coming from a car
behind her. She wondered how the car got in, where in fact it wasn’t there a
while ago.
“Welcome, Leanne!” greeted the evil voice in a friendly manner.
She hastily turned her gaze to the platform. Somebody’s standing
there. She looked around. Strange men were surrounding her and they all
looked strong and fearsome, however their brawny picture didn’t scare the
young lady.
“Leanne… Leanne… Leanne…” the voice uttered in a nursery
rhyme way.
“Who are you?” she bravely asked. She couldn’t see the man’s
face because the lights weren’t enough.
“Look how you’ve grown!” stated the voice. “The last time I saw
you, you were just a little dainty girl.”
“Daddy?” she said almost in a whisper.
Slowly, a familiar image of Liam evolved from darkness. His face
hadn’t changed at all. Liam laughed, “You haven’t forgotten me! Oh, how
touching!”
“Daddy?” tears began to visibly fill her eyes.
“Did you miss Daddy?” He’s so purely evil. Liam persisted as he
drew himself near the appalled girl, “Daddy missed you…” His sounded
creepy.
“Stop doing this, Dad…”
“What? Daddy’s doing nothing!”
“I know everything…” she said. “Everything… what you did to
Mama and to Andrew… and to me…”
He laughed, “Do you want me to break down the facts?”
What?
“Celina… Did you know that she wasn’t your mother?”

265
“Yes, I already know.”
“Amazing! How about Andrew? Did you know that he wasn’t
really your brother?”
“Yes.”
“Interesting! How about—you? Did you know that you weren’t my
daughter?”
She dropped her jaw. She felt her joints and knees frozen.
“I suppose not!” he grinned.
“What are you talking about?” her voice was so low.
“I’m not your father! So stop calling me Daddy!” he yelled. “It’s
irritating me!”
“I don’t understand!”
“Henry! Henry Heo is your father, Arabella!” he enunciated every
word.
What? Leanne fell down to her knees. She felt her body
weakening.
“Yes! You are Arabella Heo—no mistake!”
She tried to open her mouth.
“I was the one behind it! I planned the ambush! I took you away
from your aunt!” He was laughing really hard.
“Everything was planned, and everything just ended up according
to plan! Does it sound a happy ending?”
He continued, “Poor little thing…” He saw how helpless Leanne
was. She was in disbelief. “I wish you brought Henry… He should see your
face!”
He leveled down and harshly raised Leanne’s face, “Oh, she’s
gonna cry now!” The other men giggled.
“So sad, Jayden isn’t here! I’m sure he’s going to enjoy this!”
Jayden?

266
“Oh! I forgot! Should I call him Andrew?”
Andrew? Jayden?
“I think I’m going to have a private tutorial today…” he kidded.
How did Andrew become Jayden?
“Okay, let’s start… Once upon a time, there was a king who had
two sons. One of the son, whose name was Johann, was kidnapped. The
kidnapper was a maid named Celina. But the maid was a dimwitted stupid
woman; she mistook the boy as Jayden, which was the other prince’s name.
Since the boy knew he was Jayden, Celina didn’t do anything to change his
name… And that is how the story began… Do you want me to tell you the
ending?” He smirked.
Leanne was wordless. She could only hear her cry.
Liam continued, “And the ending would be… you dead!!” He
shouted the last part.
Leanne closed her eyes as she heard a loud blast of an exploding
gun. She smelled fresh blood and she felt an electrifying pain on her
shoulder. Liam shot her.
She started to be frightened. Her flawless white shoulder was
tainted with her own blood. The fresh wound was so deep she could see the
bullet in it. It was so painful she thought she’s going to die. She couldn’t
breathe properly. It was like air was vanishing in her lungs.
Her sight was getting vague. She turned to see Liam, and was
shocked to see him down to. He had a wound at his arm. His men were
helping. He was crying out loud—shouting with rage.
Out of the blue, she heard a familiar voice, which her ears were
longing for like forever.
“I told you not to touch her!!!”
A tall man was standing right behind Liam. But she couldn’t
clearly see his face. Her sight was getting bad.

267
She could only hear gasps from the rest of the men. They were
mentioning a name that sounded like, “Jayden?”
Jayden… Jayden…
Before she totally lost her consciousness, though she couldn’t see
anything, she heard hard hits and punches thrown to a suffering man.

Lonely. A man was sitting on the dusty ground of the prison cell.
He looked terribly worn out. He had bandages around his body. His eyes
were covered by his long black hair.
Two years had passed since he first entered jail. He was a good-
looking man before, but because solitude, anger and vengeance were his
company for the past long years, he aged so fast.
“This is what you deserve,” said a man with glasses. He was
standing outside the cell. He looked rich and elegant with his gray suit
matching the silver ring on his finger.
The worn-out man replied with angst, “You keep on telling me
that.”
“You caused us so much trouble. We won’t forgive you even you
die in front of us!” firmly stated another man. He wore black corporate
attire. He was as good-looking as the man before, and he too was wearing
the same ring with the man on his finger.
“You’re more a monster than me!” he yelled. He seemed
devastated but furious. “You were the reason why I did those things to
you!”
Robert Lee, the man in black suit, “How could you involve my
son? He’s not part of our past!!”
“Neither Arabella deserved to be treated this way! You should be
the one suffering—not her!” Henry madly stated to Liam’s face.

268
Liam laughed as evil as before, “You destroyed my life! I destroy
your lives too!”
“That was an old story, Liam. Why don’t you just forget it?”
“Forget it? How could I forget it if the two of you get to enjoy your
lives while I suffer?” his eyes were jammed with tears. “You stole from me
my future!”
“We were sorry that time. We’d already ask you that!”
He grinned, “So, if I ask sorry today, will you forgive me?”
Robert and Henry were speechless.
“Never mind! I know you’ve never been my friends!” he bitterly
told them as he buried his face with his hands.
Henry and Robert looked at each other remorsefully, and they left
him.
When Liam saw the place empty, he gaped at his finger. There was
a silver ring too. It was the same with two.

White. Light. Cold. Someone’s blowing gently to her ears. And as


she opened her eyes she saw herself lying at a soft green pasture. The sky
above was so blue and the firmaments were scattered like clustered cottons.
Dandelions were swinging to the sound of the silent wind, which was
blowing her hair.
She looked around to see where the soft blow came from, yet she
could not see anything but the lively and naïve spirit of spring. She could
also hear the flow of river—tender and soothing like the singing fishes and
corals. Then, something strange distracted her—strange yet familiar. She
thought she knew what it was. The melody sounded sad but romantic,
adoring and significant. She followed the sound. She trekked another
meadow—this time smaller. It was swathed with yellow, orange and lilac

269
tiny flowers. She tried not to step on the flowers and destroy the
magnificence and magic the meadow was bringing into her awed eyes.
Finally, she reached a hill. There was a large tree that shadowed a
velvety black thing. There was someone sitting beside it. She moved near to
catch a clearer view.
A man was playing the piano… And the melody was familiar…
It was Andrew.
His handsome face was smiling as he gracefully swayed his head
to the music.
It was the melody we both know…
She walked towards him—light-hearted and glad.
Finally, I’ve seen him.
His beautiful smile was as usual enticing and enigmatic, and the
way he graciously played the piano made him look more fascinating.
She was just two meters away from him when all of a sudden he
vanished like magic.
She was perturbed. She looked around. Her heart was thumping
tempestuously. She could feel her fingers getting numb and her breathing
slowly falling.
Andrew? Andrew? She heard herself sound terrified and anxious.
Andrew’s left me again… Her tears were like rain drops that fell from a
broken-hearted heaven.
Then, before she thought she’d fall down, a mellifluous kiss
touched her cheeks. She turned to see who it was, and it was Andrew. He
was standing beside her. How did he get here?
He appeared like the way he disappeared.
He was staring at her like he hadn’t seen her for years. His smile
was so handsome and his eyes were speaking.
She heard his cold but soothing voice spoke, “You miss me?”

270
She whispered without taking away her gaze from him, “Yeah…”
And he lowered his face and his soft lips touched hers. It was
warm and subtle that she had her eyes closed. It was her first kiss.
Andrew quietly took away his lips and touched with his hands
Leanne’s face as he said, “I’m sorry I’m a bad guy…”
“No, Andrew… You’re not a bad guy,” she found herself seeking
for his kiss.
Then, for a moment, she hadn’t heard anything from Andrew. She
opened her eyes, and she saw how his eyes were fixed at hers.
She asked, “What’s the matter?”
“I want to look at you forever… I want to know the shape of your
face… so that the next time I forget my past, only you would retain in my
mind and heart.”
She smiled. She held his hands. This is the happiest moment of her
life.
She spoke, “Andrew, about Liam and your family…”
“Ssshhh…” his fingers touched her lips, and he said lowly, “Don’t
worry about that… I know what happened…”
“Really?”
And he kissed her again—gentler and more ardently.
As she was kissing him back, she asked, “I’m sorry I broke my
promise…”
“Which one?”
“I fell in love with you…” she whispered as she felt his lips touch
her nose.
“Do you want to run with me?”
“Yes,” she faintly responded.
“I will not leave you, Leanne… I promise…” he kissed her
forehead.

271
“I know… You had enough of breaking promises,” she felt the
warmth and tenderness of his kiss.
“But, I can’t take you now,” his voice sounded a little sad.
“Why?” she opened her eyes because of surprise.
“Because they’re waiting for you… They won’t let go off you
easily, will they?”
“But, will you wait for me?”
“Yes, I will wait for you… I promise…” and he kissed her again.
She gasped, “I love you, Andrew…”
“And I love you forever, Leanne… …”

She opened her eyes. Sophia’s delighted and warm eyes welcomed
her.
“Arabella, you’re awake!! Oh, thank you, Lord!” she sounded so
happy.
Henry came dashing to see her. He hugged her so tightly that
Leanne felt their longing for her was for decades.
Do they know that I’m the real Arabella?
“Dad… Aunty…” she spoke, “Arabella...”
“We know it, honey… We know it…” Henry hugged her again.
“Don’t trouble yourself with it now… Okay?”
“Okay,” she smiled.
She saw Aunt Sophia went out crying.
“Aunty, where are you going?”
“Out…side…” she broke the words.
“Why? I want you to stay here…” she said weakly.
Sophia cried more.
“What happened to me? I don’t remember anything after I was
shot…”

272
Henry answered, “The police came and rescued you.”
Oh!
“Dad, my back is aching. It’s like I was asleep for years…”
Henry smiled as he tapped her forehead.
Then, she saw at the table beside her bed a familiar notebook, “My
diary, how did it get here?” She reached for it.
Sophia and Henry looked at each other.
“Weren’t you… I thought it was you,” Henry baffled as he gaped
at his sister.
“I thought it’s you!” Sophia fired back.
Never mind… It’s good to have it back.
“Andrew? Where is he?”
Sophia gulped, then replied, “Andrew… He went to some place…”
“Yeah… that was what he told me… Was he here?”
Sophia replied, “Yes, he was here.”
“I thought I saw him in my dream…Did he tell you when he’s
coming back?”
“That… we do not know,” answered Sophia as she wiped her nose
with her handkerchief.
“Dad, Aunty… I want you to call me Leanne… I’m not used to
hearing Arabella—if it’s okay?”
Henry immediately responded, “It’s okay, honey. From now on,
we’ll you call you Leanne.”

That night, Jayden Lee went to visit her.


“Thank you for saving my life, Jayden,” she said.
“It wasn’t me, Leanne… It was Johann, I mean Andrew,” his
voiced seemed cheerless.

273
“Oh…” there was a faint smile on her lips. “I thought it was you. I
heard your name…” Andrew was also called Jayden. Doesn’t he get
confused now by having too much names?
Jayden nodded.
“Have you met him?” Leanne asked.
“Yes, I had,” Jayden plainly answered.
“How was he like?”
Jayden joked, “He looks like me.”
Leanne smiled.
“No, honestly, Andrew… is a good man… He’s a very good
man… He saved you, right?”
I’d always known that!
She’s already missing him.
“Did you know where went?”
Jayden thought, but answered right after, “He said it’s a wonderful
place… and he can’t wait to bring you there.”
From Jayden, she learned that Liam Yoon was sentenced to whole-
life imprisonment. She also discovered that her Mama, Celina, was brought
to America by Henry to for advance medications.
Jayden was also looking for Philip and his grandfather. Leanne
wondered why, but she didn’t ask him anymore. Perhaps he’s as helpful as
Andrew.

274
Chapter 24

The next morning, Sister Jasmine visited her. She brought with her
a basket of fruits. The sun was brightly shimmering outside the hospital
window. Spring smelled freshly uncovered by the receding wintriness.
Sister Jasmine smiled at her and asked, “How are you feeling,
dear?”
“I feel great, Sister…” she smiled.
“I want to show you something,” Sister Jasmine told her.
“Actually, it was Andrew’s idea. And before he left, he told me to show it
to you after you wake up.”
“He had a surprise for me?” she felt excitement rushed into her
bones.
“Yeah—it’s a surprise…”

Sister Jasmine was strolling Leanne on a wheelchair. Leanne was


enjoying the sight. The place was awesome. The bright sun was touching
her pale skin which was obviously not touched by anything from the outside
for like years. There were so many trees, thin and huge, which their
branches served as a canopy for people trailing.
Out there, was a green pasture. It looked familiar, Leanne thought.
She deemed she had seen it some time before.

275
There were dandelions that sway gracefully with the breeze, and
sound of the flowing river was like music in her ears.
Then, they trekked another meadow. This is strange… I think I
have been in this place before. The green meadow was swathed with
yellow, orange and lilac tiny flowers. There were also very little white
blossoms that bloomed together with the others.
And they reached a hill. On it was a large tree—very large.
She asked the nun, “Where are we, Sister?”
But Sister Jasmine was not responding, instead she kept on
strolling Leanne, until they arrived at the area under the tree.
“Where are we, Sister?” her voice sounded alarmed as she saw
something strange on the ground.
“Andrew had this place for you, Leanne,” she responded.
“What is happening here, Sister?”
“When he was still in the convent, he told me how an ordinary and
uninteresting girl changed a lost man. He said that meeting you was his
greatest joy.”
“I don’t understand… Why are you saying this to me?”
“Andrew told me he’d be building a house here, and he wanted
you to be with him,” she said. Then, she smiled, “He told me about your
deal; about the condition if you fall in love with him… Actually, this was
the place he wanted to hide you—he said he’d take you away from the
convent with hesitation.”
Leanne was wordless. So, he after all, was not kidding…
“Leanne, he wanted to see you…”
Leanne looked at the solid marble sheet dig in the ground. She
stared at it with bewilderment and disbelief. Her eyes, she felt, would cry.
“What is that, Sister?” she was trying to deny idea on her mind.
No, it can’t be…

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“That is Andrew’s tomb,” the nun directly replied.
“Tomb?” she felt something was blocking air in her throat.
“Andrew’s gone now, Leanne…”
No, he can’t die… He promised me he’ll stay—that he won’t leave
me…
“He’s been dead for two years already,” continued Sister Jasmine.
Two years!? … Two years!? …She’s baffled. She didn’t
understand anything. Why didn’t I know it? Why didn’t you tell me?
“You were comatose for that long, Leanne…”
What?!?! Comatose?
She tried to find words but sadness and disbelief just over-
whelmed her so much.
Tears were tempestuously running down her face. She didn’t want
to believe, but seeing Andrew’s name (Johann Lee) was so painful.
He’s not dead… He can’t die… He can’t leave me…
“He had a letter for you before he made that decision,” Sister
Jasmine said as she handed out a piece of paper.
She opened it and saw marks of tears almost blurring the writings.
Her hands trembled as she read it.

Leanne,

How’d you like the place? I really found time to plant


those flowers on the meadow’s pathway. I wanted you to be
the happiest bride when you marry… I’m so sorry if I had
planned it ahead of time, but I want to see you marrying
here, Leanne—though some man will be waiting for you
down the aisle.

277
I have a confession, Leanne. I have your diary. But I
didn’t open it, I promise. You dropped it when you bumped
me at school.
I also want to say sorry when I didn’t meet you that
night at the tunnel. Remember the letter you gave me? I
received it but I had some thing done. You know what, after
that night, my life changed—from Jayden to Andrew. Not
meeting you was a blessing in disguise. Because if I came to
see you, I wouldn’t have the chance to know you more. I
think getting beaten by those drunkards was God’s way to
know you—even if my memories were at stake.
Leanne, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was. I feared you
would hate me. I was a murderer, Leanne, and I didn’t want
you to know that. I didn’t want you to get scared of me. I
hope you would forgive me.
Maybe, while I’m writing this, you are still asleep. I’ve
decided, Leanne. I’m doing this because I love you. You’re
the best thing that happened to me…
I can’t live my life without you, Leanne. If I live without
you—I can’t call it life anymore. You are the reason I’m
breathing. You taught the bad guy to love… You are my
angel. You taught me how to lose my selfish pride. You
taught me not to give up. You taught me to trust. You taught
me that I’m not the center of the world, that there are
people who share the same fate, that I’m not alone in hate
and in love, and that I have you.
I don’t want you to blame yourself. It was my decision. I
promised to protect you—and I’m not hesitating to do it,
Leanne.
Promise me, you’ll live your life like I am with you. Don’t
think that I’m gone, cause I’m not.
I’m not breaking any promise. I will still be there for you.
I will not be leaving you, Leanne—only that I’m in some

278
place, but I’ll be watching you. No distance and time could
destroy my love for you.
I will forever protect you, Leanne.
I love you so much.

Andrew
She saw her tears blotting Andrew’s handwriting. What did he
mean about ‘this decision’? I still don’t understand. He died for me?
“You had a weak heart, Leanne, that’s why you easily fainted…
After he saved you, you needed to undergo a heart transplant. Andrew did
not hesitate to give his. We tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen to us,”
Sister Jasmine said.
It was painful. It was like she was crushed into pieces. I haven’t
even seen him… It was only in a dream that he spoke to me… but after that
Christmas in the convent, after he saved me, I haven’t got the chance to see
him again… And now he’s… he’s gone…
She forced herself to stand up. She strengthened her weak legs and
walked towards his tomb. She couldn’t understand the pain. Something was
telling her not to cry but despair and shock was too powerful to stop tears.
She held in her hands his letter. She whispered while touching the
engraved letters of Andrew’s name, “You’ll always be with me, Andrew…
You’ll always have a special part in me… You never broke a promise…
You’re also my angel, Andrew. You brought hope in my life. You saved me
from wrong decisions by teaching me how to love… You were the greatest
thing that happened to me… “
She continued with her voice quavering and her tears rushing
down, “Thank you for letting me feel what love is… Thank you for loving
me… Andrew, you were never alone… You have me… And I am never
alone, because I have you…”
But he’s gone.

279
She touched her chest, closed her eyes, and said, “You’ll always be
here… and I’ll be waiting for you…”

The End

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