Yaqub 1

Emaan Yaqub

Mrs. Stein

English

21 December 2017

Don’t ever hesitate to ask people if they need help

Nina lives by the words of “If they needs help, I will go help” She will no matter a

person’s history, background, ethnicity, race, religion, creed always be willing to help

anyone in need and not to judge them based on their parents actions. She has learned

this charitable attitude from her mother who held the same beliefs. That is if someone

commits a great crime against you, that you should eventually forgive, but never forget.

That education should be foremost for a child. She works hard to achieve her goals and

believes in a strong and tightly knit family unit with traditional values. Being true to

yourself and respecting others, even if they don’t necessarily agree with your point of

view. In short; Compassion.

Nina was born on January 30, 1936 in Lewiston Maine. She was raised entirely by

her mother, as her father had left a when she was two. Although she does not remember

much about her father she does know that he had Indian blood in him, that is why she

says, that many of her sibling had jet black hair and high cheekbones, indicative of their

Native background. She did not know her grandparents as they had passed away before

she was born. Nina’s mother did recall their goodness, and their willingness to always
 Yaqub 1

help. It is most like true that were as kind and generous as Nina’s mother says, if it ran

in their blood.

As for her parents, she only really ever knew her mother. There were sixteen

children in her family, and there were eight still left to raise when her father left. She

recalls her mother being kind, that anyone could come into her family, that her “family

was like the United Nations” But in her family got along better and had a deeper respect

for each other than the real United Nations. The U.N. has a thing or two to learn from

her family.

Her mother had eleven girls and five boys, including her. They were all different

and unique. She was closest to her sister Helen who would have been a hundred now.

When Helen fell ill, Nina would leave Gorham or Portland to take care of her. And she

did that for three years. Some of her fondest memories would be of spending Sundays

with her family and going to the beach. “It is not like today” she remarks, “Where people

watch TV”. She also admits that the older siblings may have heard arguments between

their parents, but she never did. As a child she would play hopscotch and read for fun.

She figured that if she was good in school then she could grow up to be somebody and

have her own house one day.

In her family, Nina always knew that despite a stretched financial situation, she

would always eat well and that her mother would always be there to take care of the

family. She was so good, she was like a father and mother all in one. And her number

one priority was always her family and beliefs first, Nina never saw her mother going out

with men. As she was either working or raising eight kids all by herself, with no

government assistance or help from her husband.

 Yaqub 1

Nina says that she inherited a willingness to never be afraid to help anybody from

her mother. Once, her mother gone over to help someone across the street when a

neighbor tried to stop her. The neighbor said, “Don’t go help her, she’s a prostitute” to

which her mother responded that “what she gets for money does not belong to me, so if

she needs help, I will go help.” Her neighbor made the mistake of thinking the lowliest

in society don’t need help, when in reality they deserve it more than anyone else. One

can witness a theme of always willing to help out despite who or what someone was or

believed in. Nina always says, “I do not care what religion people are, I never ask that.

You got to respect everybody's religion the same they respect yours.” Think of how much

conflict in this world would be avoided if more people adopted this simple yet true

philosophy.

Her neighborhood in Lewiston was destitute, but filled with hard workers. In

general, she was a happy child (thanks to her mother), but there were two incidents in

which she was unhappy. The first was when she was taken to a Christmas party by a

judge. But, what she did not know was that it was a party for underprivileged. Her

embarrassment culminated in her being put on a literal stage as an example of the poor.

And she said, “I’m not underprivileged, I’m happy, I’m not starving.” Do this day, her

husband questions her as to how she did not know she was in such a situation. She

replies that she was a happy child, The surroundings may have been poor, but she did

not know any better since all she knew were her surroundings. The second was when

she would go to the Catholic School. Everybody went there. She was hurt however, when

she would never be invited to the girls birthday parties. This was because her father did

not live at home. In those days that was something seriously wrong. To this day, if her
 Yaqub 1

children or grandchildren ever have a birthday party, they must invite all the girls of

their class, or else there is simply no party. She does not like to keep kids out.

She did remember her teacher from that school as well. They all had French

names. She had one teacher who would always say to her, “you’re doing good work, but

your sister was better than you.” Nina jokingly remarked that she used to get mad. She

tried to take something from all her teachers. Nina firmly believes that everybody has a

good side. She once had a neighbor, and noticed one day in which beds and hospital

supplies being delivered. She asked her if she needed help, and who was sick. And the

neighbor said, “I took in my grandmother ninety years old, and I took in my

grandfather, ninety-three.”(on top of three young kids) Nina said that she needed help,

but the neighbor declined. Two days later the neighbor called back asking for help.

Sometimes people may not look like they need help, but it is always worthwhile to ask

than to not ask.

Nina went to Lewiston High School. She remembers her two favorite teachers

Lamontagne and Walsch. Out of the two Walsch was her most favorite. She was a hard

but fair teacher, and they would talk to each other all the time. In one story, she was late

with her work and asked if she pass in her work tomorow. Walsch refused and said, “No,

but you can pass it in at the end of the day. And Nina did stay late to finish her work.

Walsh also influenced Nina by telling her that her future was in teaching. And today,

Nina knows she was right. Tough but fair, is how Nina remembers her favorite teachers,

and that is how she taught her children as well.

Despite not legally being an adult, she she became an adult when got her first

job. When Nina turned thirteen, she became a waitress. She was friends with the owners

daughter, so no matter how many mistakes she made, he was alright with it. The best
 Yaqub 1

part for Nina was that at the end of her shift she would be able to order a big meal, she

recalls that she ate real good that summer. And when her mother was finished working

at the mill, she would come and see her daughter at the restaurant. Nina calls to mind

just how proud her mother looked when she waited on her and her friends. And when

summer passed she applied to a department store. And despite being fourteen she told

them she was sixteen and got the job. She was an avid worker. They told her to come

only on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays, despite that she showed up everyday and

did such a good job she was never told to go home. She continued doing such a good job

they gave her own counter, and after that they tried to also give her her own office. But

after spending four years there, she wanted to try and experience new opportunities. In

her attitude to work, one can see her diligent attitude to work. She went above and

beyond what most people would think of doing today in their careers.

Nina also had many good memories from high school. She was in many clubs and

activities, including the writing club and the newspaper club. Of course, she had to do

these clubs during school as she had to work after school. She remember the business

course with particular fondness. There was one time she wanted something, and told her

mom she was going to drop school. Her mother told her she would be working full time

if she did. This reflects the industrious attitude and the importance for school her

mother had. For instance in the third grade she struggled with math class. Her mother

despite being poor sent her to summer school to take lessons. Her mother always put

family and her family’s education first. After all the best way to break a chain of poverty

is knowledge and education.

She enjoyed her time as a teenager and does not recall any bad experiences. She

was good in school. In her free time she would go to as many games as she could, and
 Yaqub 1

write to Ray in the service. Sometime she would walk with three or four of her friends to

the movies on saturday nights, and then go to a restaurant or an ice-cream parlor. But,

she held on to her conservative values as a teenager. For example, at graduation, she

and two other girls were the only ones to wear long sleeves. No matter what event or

celebration it was, Nina always stuck true to her tradition and ideals. Even if it went

against the grain and was not popular. Is that not true conviction? What point are ideals

and beliefs if one abandons them as soon as it becomes difficult to hold those ideals and

beliefs.

Entering her adult years she married her now husband Ray, at eighteen. She

knew she wanted a family, and she knew she wanted Ray to be apart of it. She had met

him in her neighborhood. They would go to the park, play ball, and swing. Ray was her

first one, and she did not want someone who went out all the time. Ray felt the same.

They got married in church, but, she did not wear a white dress, as mother would have

felt obligated to give a big wedding. After coming back from the service, Ray found a job

within a week or two, and Nina’s mother never payed for anything after that. She would

finally have a chance to relax. Despite being married, she stayed with her mother. After

all, her mother never left her, so why would she leave her mother. And she also used this

time to take her mother to restaurant, and anything she never had a chance to do before

as Nina wanted to thank her for being such a good mother.

Nina also went into business. She was promoted to manager of an Electrolux,

after the previous manager was transferred. She enjoyed the job and the security of it.

Sh rose quickly through the ranks. She always tried to maintain both a career and the

tough job of raising children. She was more blessed than her mother in this regard, be
 Yaqub 1

she had a supportive and capable husband who was supporting her all throughout her

life.

Unfortunately, her adulthood also began with tragedy. Her mother would always

take care of Nina’s daughter. Infact, Nina for the first six months of being a mother

never actually woke up due her daughter was crying. Nina’s mother would always be

there to take care of the baby, dress her up and then bring her to Nina. The baby would

not even have a chance to cry. One morning Nina woke up to the sound of her daughter

crying. She was surprised, as her mother would have usually been on top of that. After

getting the baby, she went to check up on her mother. She had found her mother had

passed away. Nina was twenty one. But her mother’s memory lives on. Nina has

emulated her mother’s actions and beliefs, her compassion and understanding to the

best of her ability. Over and over in Nina’s biography, one can read actions and relate to

her mother and the values and traditions imparted to Nina from her mother. Perhaps,

more so than most people. After all, she was like a father and a mother, she had to be, to

raise sixteen children.

To Nina a sense of community is very important. She believes that its is very hard

for a people to come together if their values are different. One example she had of

changing values was when her daughter went to go ahead and buy some boots. She came

back with two hundred and fifty dollar boots. Some kids now a days she remarks, “Are

wearing outfits that cost over a hundred dollars, there is no need for that” Pointless and

frivolous materialism won’t make anyone feel better, not in the long run at least. Now

that she has her own kids, Nina says her daughter understands now.

One turning point was when Ray was introduced to Nina’s whole family. Ray’s

family is all French and Catholic. He was surprised when in Nina’s family there were
 Yaqub 1

Protestants, non-believers, Jews, and Greeks. To Nina’s mother, anybody was welcome.

It really was like the United Nations.

Nina has two kids. She had a very difficult time getting her second one. They were

ten years apart. If she hadn’t had that child, she says she would have convinced Ray to

adopt. She was very strict with her children when she was raising them. She would

always try impart her traditional values on her children. Once, her eldest daughter had

to stay after school. She came to pick up her daughter, and found her talking to the

football players on the football field. She put an end to that. She tried to impart several

values to her daughter. Being yourself, and a good person were foremost. And not

looking for money when getting married. One of her daughters married a chiropractor.

The other married a locksmith. And both, she say are doing amazingly great, as they

looked for character.

To Nina, the most important celebration is Christmas. She enjoys the whole

family coming together and the cooking. And as a religious and devout Christian, she

appreciate the aspect of it being Jesus Christ’s birthday. She especially enjoys the

grandkids coming together. Although she has noticed that her grandkids have some

different values. One of her grandkids for example, brought his girlfriend to their

Christmas party. Something Nina or Ray would never have done at his age. She really

appreciates the Christmas trees themselves. She says it is because they had the worst

tree back when she was a child. She said, “If there was an award for the worst tree in

town, we would have won it” In fact, when she got married, one of the things she wanted

was a Christmas Tree that would touch the ceiling. She has also noticed how some of her

grandkids don’t even like the Christmas tree. They say it is too much fussing. But, she is

all too aware how they don’t mind the fussing over cooking.
 Yaqub 1

Nina says that as you get older, material things don’t matter much to you

anymore. Friends, family and relationships are what matter at the end of the day.

She does not like to dwell over material things. But, if she does want something and can

afford it, she will get it. But, she does not do it to one up and impress other people.

There are some people that go out and buy something after seeing it and become

jealous, for the sole purpose of on upping their neighbor. Fashions come and go, in less

than ten years something popular today will look ridiculous. And this is of course, very

true. One just has to look at the fashion sense of the nineties to see that. Or, just wait a

decade and look back on today.

She always believes in telling the truth and not exaggerating. And that just

because you do not have something now, does not mean you can’t have it later. She

believes one should not have a boyfriend or girlfriend until they are married, essentially,

waiting until marriage. A big one would be respecting others. Nina says, “My mother

never asked, who’s your father? Who’s your mother? It doesn’t matter. Her father could

be a murderer and it does not matter. The child is always innocent. Don’t judge a child

by bad parents”. Over and over again one can see the affect of her father leaving their

family had on Nina. She as a child was left out from gatherings for a fact that she could

not control, that she had no power or choice over. As an adult and as a parent, she

makes sure that her children will never make a mistake like those children made ever

again.

Nina has also known many special people over life. Her sister especially, she

would always pay for Nina to visit her in the summer in New York. She also says she has

had very good bosses over the years. She has noticed that if you do good, then if

somebody wants you to do bad, they will not invite you. She hopes she never forgets her
 Yaqub 1

mother or Ray, and how good he was to her. A lot of times, Nina says she would not have

been invited to parties, because people would know that she would not drink do things

like that. She would not have been able to imagine her mother's reaction to her coming

home drunk.

Nina has had many struggles over the years. One of the toughest moments in her

life was when Ray got pancreatic cancer, but fortunately, he beat it. Another was when

her mother fell ill. She never did miss her father however. She didn’t know him, how

could she? When he fell sick she didn’t not go visit him since he was a stranger. She

would not go to a stranger’s funeral, so why his? After many years, she went to visit his

grave at the cemetery. But, she could not find his grave not matter how long she looked.

She said, “God, you don’t want me to see him He doesn’t deserve a visit from me, I don’t

know him. But I forgive him” It took her a very long time to say that she forgives him.

But, Nina says that she never forgets someone if they hurt her like that. She despised

him for the longest time. When she was younger, she wanted her father to die so that her

mother could at least collect the social security money, and least he could help their

family in some way. But, he outlived her for a long time and reached over a hundred.

Nina jokes that it “must be the Indian in him”. Forgive, but do not forget, do not go

back. And this is a good policy as one can feel good about forgiving someone and not

stewing over a grudge in their heart, but it prevents them from being taken advantage of

again. But she has finally come to peace with her father.

Religion plays a very large role in Nina’s life. She is a Catholic Christian. But, just

because she is a Catholic does not mean she will not go to a church of a different

denomination. Nina says that if she is traveling and there is only one church available,

and it is of a different denomination, she will still go to it. They are all houses dedicated
 Yaqub 1

to worshiping God, so why should it matter which one she does it in.She believes in faith

and she believes in God. And that in the long run she says it is the same God that people

worship. She believes one needs faith, if not, life is meaningless without it. But, she also

says that if we were born without being told what our religion was, and we studied the

world’s religions, then who know what we would have chosen. She believes in being

religious, but not to the point of Fanaticism, or as she says “preaching in the middle of

the street” One has to respect others faiths. Because of this she does not judge others

because of their faith. Just like how her mother would not judge if her children married

others outside the Catholic faith. She gets an inner strength from her faith.

Nina also has advice for younger generations. She says kids should stop asking

for things and go do something. She wants workers. The kids of today go to college for

four years, rack up ludicrous debt and then come out not know what they want to do.

“Go to a trade school” she says, “ Not everybody has to go to college” The kids rely too

much on others. And that they should stop the smoking, drinking and drugs. Nina

believes that those are disgraceful and disgusting behaviors. One does not need a

traditional outlook on life to see the detrimental effects using those substances can and

will have on a person. And she defines success as hard work. As long as you know what

you want to be, and you work towards that goal with hard work you will achieve success.

(Lastname)

One can see her approach to life represented by how her neighbors view her. She

was always willing to help. Even in my very own family, when my mother had to go to

work, Nina would watch over me while we waited for the bus, and always make

chocolate milkshakes. (Yaqub) She was is prying like some are, and will come over to
 Yaqub 1

talk about how things are going. She is much more outgoing than other neighbors and is

as always offering help. (Bibi) What else did you expect?

 Yaqub 1

Works Cited

Bibi, Sadia. Personal interview. 7 December 2017.

Lastname, Loraine. Personal interview. 27 November 2017.

Yaqub, Mohammad. Personal interview. 7 December 2017.

Biography Questions
 Yaqub 1

Loraine

Neighbor

11/27/17

Infancy:

Where were you born? When?

Nina: In Lewiston Maine, January 30th 1936

Do you have any stories about you as a baby?

Nina: Well, my parents told me where my father was born. He was born in Maine. But his

mother was a pure Indian. Native American Indian. But I never took advantage of it, we could

have payed for my kids to go to college for nothing. My mother didn’t believe in that.

What are your first memories?

Nina: I have a lot of good memories. I had a good family and family gatherings. One Christmas

my mother told me she would leave and come back. Not to give me or my sister a hard time,

she would leave and come right back home from work. She had left to get me that doll.

Childhood:

What characteristics do you remember most about your grandparents?

Nina: I didn’t know them because they died before I was born. My mother talked about how

good they were, how they helped. While she was bringing up her family. I was the youngest so,

by the time I was born my grandparents had died. Good memories as they talked about them,

as I didn’t know them.

How would you describe your parents?

Nina: Well, I can’t describe my father I didn’t know him, he left when I was two. My mother, we

had sixteen kids in the family. And my mother had eight left when my father left. My mother was

a kind - anybody could come to my house- my family was like the united nations. It's true.
 Yaqub 1

What do you think you inherited from them?

Nina: Not to be scared to help someone. My mother went to help someone across the street

once, and a neighbor said, “Don’t go help her she is a prostitute.” And my mother said, “What

she gets for money does not belong to me, so if she needs help I’ll go help.”

Who are your brothers and sisters, when were they born?

Nina: Oh my God, we have eleven girls and five boys, I’m included with the girls. The most

important one, Helen, she would be one hundred now, she is the most important to me. And

when she was sick, I’d leave Gorham, I’d leave Portland and I would take for of her, And I did

that for three years. They were all important, they were all different. I had a few that had the

high cheek bone like the Indians and with black hair.

Describe each of your siblings. What are your most vivid memories of them when you were

young?

Nina: They'd pick us up, bring us to the beach, we’d go to the beach, with my mother, sister. We

were close, every Sunday it would be family, it’s not like today where people watch TV.

What was it like to grow up in your house?

Nina: I know that I would eat well, that I had a good mother, that I never missed my father.

Because, my mother was so good, she was my father and mother. I never saw her going out

with men. She took care of the family, she was a good person.

Your neighborhood?

Nina: All poor. But all good people, hard workers. In Lewiston.

How would you describe yourself as a child?

Nina: A happy child. I was very unhappy one day, I was picked up by a judge to bring my to a

christmas party, not knowing I was going to a party for underprivileged kids. And I was so

embarrassed when I found out he was on the Stage saying that we were all underprivileged

children, and I said, “I’m not underprivileged, I’m happy, I’m not starving.” My husband keeps
 Yaqub 1

saying to me, “you didn’t know you were poor?” “No, I was a happy child, the surrounding were

poor but, I didn’t know- the surrounding were all the same so I never questioned it.

What did you like doing as a child?

Nina: We played hopscotch, I read, was good in school. I figured if I’m good in school, then I

can be somebody. I didn’t want to live where we were, I wanted a house, but, you know, each

day was a- good- I was happy! A child does not know they are poor, If people are good, and

they eat well, and we always had good food on the table.

Do you think you had a happy childhood?

Nina: I did, the older ones probably heard arguments with the parents, but I never did.

What were your early school years like?

Nina: Nina: I started school at five years old. I went to the Catholic School, everybody went

there. If somebody in the class had a birthday party, they didn’t invite me, because my father

didn’t live at home. That was bad in those days. My mother took the place of my father, and she

was better than some women who had their husbands. That hurt. And to this day, if ever I have,

my kids were in schools and they had a birthday party, and they would come home with a few

friends, -no- she had to invite all the girls in the class, if she didn’t invite all the girls, I wasn’t

gonna have the party. I don’t like to keep kids out, I like to help people. Those kids are innocent.

I mean, what happens in their household has nothing to do with the child, you know?

What teachers do you remember and why?

Nina: Nina: Superior, it’s all French names. A lot of my teachers, yeah. And I had one teacher,

every time she looked at me, she said, “you’re doing good work, but your sister was better than

you”. I used to get mad. (Jokingly) I remember my teachers, I tried to take something from all of

them. Everybody's’ got a good side. We had a neighbor, we saw beds being delivered, and

hospital supplies. I knocked on her door, and asked her if she needed help and who was sick?

And she said, “I took in my grandmother ninety years old, and I took in my grandfather, ninety-

three. I says, “you need help” this is a young person with three kids. And she says, “no, I’ll be
 Yaqub 1

fine”. Two days later she called me, “I need help”. And I went and - you know - talked to them

and prepared lunch and read. I don’t care what religion people are, I never ask that. You got to

respect everybody's religion the same they respect yours.

What were your dreams and ambitions as a child?

Nina: Nina: Oh yes, first I was gonna be a hairdresser in high school. But, one of the teachers

told me I should be a teacher, cause I love kids, she said “you are very very good and I think

you’re going the wrong direction” and she was right. Because I also taught in Pre-K. And I

volunteered in the first, grade. And if I hugged one, I hugged them all.

The Adolescent Years:

Did you have a favorite teacher?

Nina: Yes, I was in Lewiston High School. Lamontagne and Walsch. I loved her, she was fair.

When I worked, she would come and talk, and I understood everything, and you know, she was

a good teacher. She was fair. A couple of times I was late and I said, “Can I pass my work in

tomorrow?” and she said, “No, but you can pass it in at the end of the day. And after school I

stayed there and did my work. They were good teachers.

How did he/she influence you?

Nina: She wanted me to go to being a teacher, and today I know she was right. I never thought

of teaching until I was older.

What was your first job?

Nina: My first job, you won’t believe, I was a waitress. I was thirteen years old. I was the worst

waitress you could ever have. And before leaving, I could eat. So I would order a real good

meal. The owner of the place, his daughter, I was her girlfriend. My mother worked at the mill,

and she would come, and I would wait on them. Oh, she was so proud. Worst Waitress you
 Yaqub 1

could ever have. I worked there the whole summer. I worked at a department store. I got the job

when I was fourteen and told them I was sixteen. And he said, come only on Mondays,

Thursdays and Saturdays. I went in everyday and he never told me to go home. I was doing

good. You name it, I did it. After awhile I had my own counter and they wanted me to stay after

in the office. I said no, I had been there four years. Now, I need to go in business. Oh, and I got

married after high school, at eighteen. And I married Ray. We were buddies. We were friends.

He lived close to me. His family had only four kids, so I thought he was rich.(Laughter) And

everybody said we would never ever make it together. And in December nineteen. We’re gonna

celebrate our sixty-fourth anniversary.

What what would you pick out as the most significant event of your life from age six to sixteen?

Nina: I would have to say, the most significant event- was our mother stayed with us for a short

while, and then she died. And I stayed with her, when he was in the service. And I went out with

her, I brought her to restaurants, anything she never did, I did it. Because, I wanted her to have

a good life, at least until the end. She payed nothing, she took care of my daughter, and we took

care of her all week and gave her what we had. What we could afford. I never used to hear my

daughter cry. She woke up early, took care of her, and brought her to me all dressed up. And

that morning the baby cried. She was six months, And I said, “God, wheres my mother?” She

didn’t have a chance to cry, because she was always there. And if I did try to stop her, she

would have said she’s not needed and gone to work. Then I went to pick up my baby, then I

went to say hi to Maymay, and she was dead. And I found her. And so, you know, that’s life, I

was twenty one.

What are your best memories of school?

Nina: They were all good memories. Funny, serious,. I liked the business course. I tried to get

into all clubs, the writing club, the newspaper. I was into all activities. As much as I could, but it

had to be during school, because I had work after school. I did good in school. One day I told
 Yaqub 1

my mother. I wanted something, And I was going to quit school. She asked me where my job

was? You quit school you go to work, otherwise you go back to school.

Your worst?

Nina: No, no bad memories.

What was it like to be a teenager?

Nina: I enjoyed it, went to all the games, as much as I could. Used to write to you (Ray) until he

came back from the service. But Highschool I liked.

What were some of the biggest difficulties?

Nina: Nope.

What were some of the biggest joys?

Nina: We’d go to the movies on saturday night, just be us three or four girls. Stop at the

restaurant and have an ice cream sundaes. No cars so we would walk. And then we would go

home. I was not a girl to go out, but those were my friends from grammar school.

How would you describe yourself as a teenager?

Nina: If all the teenagers of today were like me, and you and Ray the parents would not have

problems. Like the nun’s said. At graduation we wore long sleeves. I think only three or two girls

wore long sleeves. They all had shortsleeves. I had long sleeves.

Who helped you develop an understanding of yourself?

Nina: Oh, I knew who I was. When you live where we lived, how we lived. You had problems in

school. You had problems in schools, ninety percent of the time you could not hire a tutor. In the

third grade, I had math problems. And my mother sent me to summer camp to take lessons. As

poor as we were, she went me to take lessons, that was her responsibility. And she did it. My

husband could not understand. I think what I went through many people went through. I can

understand if a person needs help. I’ll help, I’ll knock on any door, As long as I know they need

help.
 Yaqub 1

The Adult Years:

What were your dreams and hopes entering adulthood?

Nina: To have a family. I knew Ray was gonna be my husband, He was my first one and I didn’t

go out. In those days, you didn’t go out with a man who went out all the time and he felt the

same way. I don’t know, maybe you’d call that old fashioned. We saw a lot around us, people

drinking, the fathers, not the wives, the wives were home. But, what it is to have a father I don’t

know. I wanted a happy household with my husband. If not I would have gone to New York to

be with my sister. But not before staying with my mother. She didn’t leave us, so I wouldn’t

leave her. We stayed together.

What led you to choose the type of work you did?

Nina: Number one, I went into business because there were people asking for help. I managed

a electrolux, vacuum cleaners. I worked in the office. And then the manger was transferred and

they made me manager. I liked that. I think it was security.

When did you first realise that you had become an adult?

Nina: I knew that in the 8th grade. When you’re looking for a job before entering high school,

you know you are an adult. I had to say I was sixteen to get hired. When I did turn 16, my

manager asked me, “Are you 16 now?” and I said yes. I worked everyday after school.

How did you meet your husband?

Nina: We were in the same neighborhood. We used to go to the park, swing, play ball.

How did you two get married?

Nina: He asked my mother, we got married in church, but I didn’t wear a white dress, because I

knew my mother would have felt obligated to give a big wedding. So I had a suit. So we got

married, he finished his service, and came home. And the day he came home, I gave him a

week or two. He found a job, and my mother no longer paid anything in the house. Cause I felt,

now that he’s home, he can take over and she can relax. And that’s what she did.
 Yaqub 1

How did you use your leisure time?

Nina: I didn’t have free time, I worked, I go to school, after school I’d go eat, a hotdog, a 99 cent

hotdog. Remember, we made 50 cents an hour. Then I’d go to work, by the time I left, it would

be 6 or 7 when I got home. I’d get up at 5 in the morning to review my stuff. It would be the

same thing every day.

Is a sense of community important to you? Why?

Nina: Yes, I think if you are surrounded with people, it can be very difficult if you don’t have the

same values. I might be wrong saying this. One year, my daughter wants boots, she was in

junior high. She came back with 250 dollar boots. And he (Ray) says, “Return those” You will

see some kids, who have outfits that cost over 100 dollars, there is no need for that. But, now

she has her own, so she understands. We don’t give gifts to anybody that’s not a kid. There’s

only so much money we have, so we play a game, Yankee Swap. Food and togetherness goes

before the gifts.

What transitions or turning points did you experience during adulthood?

Nina: His (Ray) family, there was only French and Catholic. And he’s coming to my house and

there’s Protestants, there’s non-believers maybe, there’s Jewish people, there’s Greeks, we had

them all. And that was surprising to him. My mother, anybody was welcome. I had broken my

tooth, she went to the dentist and he charged her 50 dollars, that’s not a lot today but then it

was.

How many Children do you have?

Nina: Two. I lost 5. I’ve had 5 miscarriages, we wouldn’t have had 7 kids. We wanted another

one. And if we didn’t have the second one, I think I would have convinced my husband to adopt.

I didn’t want just one child. Ten years apart.

What role do they play in your life?

 Yaqub 1

Nina: We keep together, but I feel they’ve had a good childhood, we were strict with them.

Once, the oldest one had to stay after school, I went and she was on the football field talking to

the football players, didn’t last long.

What values or lessons did you try to impart to them?

Nina: Just to be yourself, be a good person, don’t look for money, when you get married, look

for character. And, one’s married to a chiropractor, and one’s married to a locksmith. And he

had nothing, and they are doing good.

Life as a Whole?

What family or social celebrations, traditions or rituals are important in your life?

Nina: Christmas, and you know, the older you get. I enjoy Christmas. It reminds you the whole

family gets together. I like cooking, and all of this. We have the grandkids, and one has a

girlfriend. But, I am not breaking the tradition, he could have another next year, she will be in the

yankee swap. I love Christmas. Maybe it’s because we had the worse trees. If there was a prize

in that town for the worst Christmas tree we would have won it. And I said when I get married, I

am going to have a Christmas tree that touches the ceiling. I like Christmas. And my grandkids,

two of them, they don’t like Christmas Trees, too much fussing. but they don’t think we over fuss

with the food though. (Laughter)

What gifts (tangible or intangible) are still important to you?

Nina: Those things don’t matter much when you get older, friends, family and relationships

matter. Don’t dwell on material things. Don’t get me wrong if we want it and can afford it we will

get it.

But, that isn’t true happiness. What is in style today is gone in maybe ten years.

What beliefs or ideals do you think your parents tried to teach you?

Nina: Tell the truth, don’t exaggerate. We have what we can now, but that doesn’t mean you

can’t have more later. You do not have an affair with a boy until you’re married. There were
 Yaqub 1

people they would come and go and there were always with guys. But my mother was a good

person. Respect others. My mother never asked, Who’s your father, who’s your mother, it

doesn’t matter. Your father could be a murderer. It wasn’t that little girl. Don’t judge a child by

bad parents.

What special people have you known in your life?

Nina: One of my sisters was always good to me, came from New York. Every Summer she

payed for me to visit. All my bosses were good. Really. You know, if you do good, if somebody

wants to do bad, they won’t come and get you. A lot of times I wasn’t invited cause’ they knew I

wouldn’t drink. If I came home drunk, oh my mother.

What were the crucial decisions in your life?

Nina: Getting married, had to make sure you were ready. Sometime young people think they

know it all and they don’t. Maybe, buying our first car. Payed two-fifty.

How have you overcome or learned from your difficulties?

Nina: The only way you can learn. Don’t try to be the other person. Don’t become jealous of

someone else. And don’t be upset someone is rich, if they worked for it, it is good for them. I

never tried to be somebody I wasn’t

What do you think has been the happiest and most productive time of your life?

Nina: I think, when we started, we lived in a house. We sold that and built our home. It was a

bigger and nicer house.

What was the least enjoyable time?

Nina: When Ray was sick, he had pancreatic cancer, but he beat it! And when my mother was

sick. I never missed my father. I didn’t know him. I never went to him when he was sick. He was

a stranger. I wouldn’t go to a stranger’s funeral. However, after many years, I went to the

cemetery to visit him, but, I couldn’t find him. I looked up to heaven and said, “God, you don’t

want me to see him” He doesn’t deserve a visit from me, I don’t know him. But I forgive him, it
 Yaqub 1

took me a long time to say I forgive. But, if somebody hurts you don’t ever forget. Don’t ever go

back. I despised him, I wanted him dead so we could have social security. But, I forgive.

What role does religion or spirituality play in your life?

Nina: A big role. If there would be only one church if I was traveling, it would not matter what

denomination it is, I would go in to say a prayer. I believe in faith. I believe in God, I believe it’s

the same god, in the long run. I believe faith is the best part of life. You need faith. Somebody

made this world, it wasn’t me. (laughter) Religion is a big thing. If you would not been told what

religion you were, and you were sent to study religion. Which religion you would choose, I don’t

know. I respect faith. I’m a Catholic. I read Billy Graham. All he says go to your place of worship,

so long as you have something.

Would you call yourself religious?

Nina: Yes, oh yes.

Do you feel you have an inner strength? Where does that come from?

Nina: Yes. From my faith. The way we were brought up. Not everyone of my brothers and

sisters married a Catholic. So long as they believed in God, my mother was fine with them.

Do you feel you are in control of your life?

Nina: Yes.

What are some of things you hope never forget?

Nina: My mother. My husband and how good he was. I’m 82 and we still talk about our parents.

Do you have any advice for younger generations? (for others?)

Nina: Stop asking for things, and try to do something, go to work, part-time. You don’t see kids

bagging. I want workers. Kids, don’t pay for their cars. And they go to college, they come out,

and they don’t know what to do. Go to a trade school. Not everybody is meant to go to college.

The kids rely too much on others. Stop the drinking, cigarettes and the drugs.

How would you define success?

 Yaqub 1

Nina: Hard work. Hard work brings you success. Know what you want to be. Whatever leads

you, develop thats side of you.

What is there in your experiences that give your life unity, meaning, or purpose?

Nina: My family. It would have to be family. Be yourself, and respect others.

At this point in your life how do you feel about yourself?

Nina: I feel good, I hope I live till I’m hundred and five.

What have I neglected to ask you that you would like to include in your life story?

Nina: You have asked me about everything.

What would be a good title for you life story?

Nina: Don’t ever hesitate to ask people if they need help.

Sadia

Mom

12/7/17

Mom Questions

When did you meet Nina for the first time?

Mom: You were one years old when she came to this neighborhood, around seventeen years

old.

2. What did you think when she first came?

 Yaqub 1

Mom: She was a good and nice lady, she would babysit you and give you chocolate

milkshakes. She was a very good neighbor.

3. How long have you been friends with each other?

Mom: Since we first met. She’d come to my house, I’d go to her house. She is my best friend in

the neighborhood.

4. How was she as a neighbor?

Mom: She is my favorite neighbor, we would always talk to each other when we see each other.

Mohammad

Yaqub

12/7/17

Dad Questions

When did you meet Nina for the first time?

Dad: A few months after we moved in, she bought the house next to ours.

2. What did you think when she first came?

Dad: I didn’t really think anything, as I had not met her yet.

3. How long have you been friends with each other?

Dad: Well she has always been a friend of our family.

4. How was she as a neighbor?

Dad: She was a a good neighbor who wasn’t nosy and let other neighbors do what they wanted

to do.