Ramsey 1

David Ramsey

Malcolm Campbell

English 1104-004

April 4, 2018

Two of a Kind, I Think Not: Why Are Siblings Similar or Not?

The Olympic Movement was sparked by Pierre de Coubertin, in Paris, on a winter’s

evening in 1892 when he proclaimed the re-establishment of the Olympic Games

(“PyeongChang 2018”). Since then, there have been twenty-eight Summer Olympic Games in

twenty-three cities and twenty-three Winter Olympic Games in twenty cities with the movement

continuing still today (“List of Olympic Games host cities”; “PyeongChang 2018”). According

to the Olympic Organization from their website article “Pyeongchang,” the International

Olympic Committee came into existence on June 23, 1894. The first Olympics took place in

Athens, Greece on April 26, 1896. In 1924 in Chamonix, France, the first winter Olympic sport

began: ice hockey. Overtime, more than fifty-nine events have been added (Cooney; “The

Olympic Games”).

Recently, the 2018 Winter Games in Pyeongchang County, South Korea regarding ice

hockey, birth witness to two sisters playing ice hockey while representing two different countries

(Dana, CBS News). This wonderful story is just one of the many stories that developed at the

2018 Winter Games, but this was the story in which captured my attention the greatest. Hannah,

for Team USA, and older sister, Marissa, for the unified Korean team, are the daughters of an

American couple, Greg and Robin Brandt (Jacobson). Marissa from South Korea was adopted by

the Brandt family when she was just four months old. She has always played the sport of ice

hockey and so has her sister. However, Marissa did wear a jersey that has her Korean name,
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Yoonjung, and hopes that it will trigger her birth mother to come forward. When asked what she

would say to her birth mother, she expressed that she would just want to thank her for putting her

up for adoption. In addition, she is thankful for the parents she does have. What intrigued me the

most about this compelling story was the fact that Hannah made the comment that her and her

sister have been playing on the same team pretty much every year growing up together as well as

Marissa’s comments on what she would want to say to her birth mother touched me deeply

(Jacobson). This heartwarming story obviously began to make me reflect on my own sibling

bonds that I have with my two sisters, Suzanna and Samantha. With the aid of this story and my

own reflections, the simple question of why siblings are similar or not was conceived. But more

importantly to me was, why are my sisters and me alike in some areas and completely different

in others? For example, I love mixed martial arts, but my sister does not.

Oh Suzanna!

On July 6, 1984 I was introduced not only to my mother and father but to the world, it’s a

boy! Conveniently, I was the first addition, that was until September 15, 1985 when I was

introduced to my baby sister, Suzanna. Growing up in the Ramsey household was short lived to

say the least. My loving parents sadly divorced when I was four and my sister was three so most

of my memories that I have from my younger years are of having parents living in two different

homes. However, my mother remarried a couple of years later to my stepfather who has to this

day, been a father to my sister and I. Unfortunately for my father, it would be awhile before he

tied the knot again which did not occur until I was twenty-one. The marriage would unite my

sister and I, who were much older, with a step brother and step sister as well as a half-sister

named Samantha. The marriage did not last though, so I will only be evaluating the sibling bond

that exists between Samantha, Suzanna, and myself. Given the ages of myself and Suzanna, we
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did not live in a family setting with our step brother and step sister, thus I would have not

established a quantified experience level with them to develop a true sibling bond to evaluate.

From the up and down, good and egregious, calm and tumultuous, roller-coaster ride we call

sibling bonds, I know and still know, that my sisters, just as I will, will always have each other’s

back. Throughout this exploratory essay, I will utilize the knowledge that I learned to examine

my own sibling bonds to determine why siblings are similar or not.

The Landscape

Unfortunately, sibling bonds have not adequately been researched due to the wide

accepted point of view from early scientists that siblings are fungible meaning a genetic

commodity (“Science Looks At The Sibling Effect”). In simpler words, everyone has one mother

and one father but can have more than one sibling suggesting that the parent to child bond is

more important to the development of a child than the applicability of their sibling bond

(Kluger). Because of the neglected area of sibling bonds, it was not taken serious by scientists

until approximately fifteen years ago (“The sibling bond”). Naturally, psychologists,

sociologists, anthropologists, biologists, and even zoologists began to study the dynamic bond

between siblings from a genetic, sociological, and psychological point of views (Kluger). For

example, after a sand tiger shark mates, a mother shark will release the fertilized eggs into her

womb where they will hatch. Once the babies have teeth, the strongest baby will feed on the

others until there is only one baby remaining in the womb which the mother will continue to

release eggs to feed that one baby until the baby is born. According to Jeffrey Kluger, there are a

myriad of environmental factors that complicate researching the dynamic sibling bonds such as

age differences, geography, culture, birth order, education and a plethora of more (Kluger). To

efficiently evaluate my own sibling bonds, I will be utilizing only four environmental factors
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which are age difference, gender difference, income, and birth order. These four environmental

factors I have chosen represents the greatest differences in how my sisters and I were raised. In

addition, I will be utilizing four theoretical psychologically oriented perspectives as lenses in

which to view the environmental factors that impact my sibling bonds which are psychoanalytic-

evolutionary, social psychological, social learning, and family-ecological systems.

Environmental Factors

To begin my tedious, yet exciting journey, I first had to establish exactly what the sibling

bond is, which turns out is a sibling dyad constellation (Whiteman et al.). A dyad simply defines

a relationship between two people such as a brother and sister. To get an idea of just how many

dyads can exist within a family, let’s look at the famous Kennedy family who had nine children

which resulted in fifty-five different dyads (“The sibling bond”).

Since I understood what my sibling bond could be defined as, I started investigating

environmental factors which are those factors from your surroundings such as a sibling or where

you live that effects an individual in any way (Whiteman et al.). Given the complexity and the

almost unsurmountable number of factors that contribute to a child as they navigate through this

world, it is understandable that I chose only four. Most of these environmental factors are self-

explanatory, such as age and gender difference, however, I will define birth order which means

the order in which you were born in relation to your siblings. Birth order is so profound that

twenty-one of the first twenty-three astronauts were either firstborns or only children (“Science

Looks At The Sibling Effect”). Typically, firstborns display the characteristic traits of being

reliable, conscientious, structured, cautious, controlling, and achievers (Jocelyn, Parents

Magazine). A middle child is prone to have the characteristic traits of being people-pleasers,

somewhat rebellious, thrives on friendships, has a large social circle, and peacemaker. The last
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born will usually exhibit the characteristics of being fun-loving, uncomplicated, manipulative,

outgoing, attention-seeker, and self-centered. Finally, an only child will encompass the

characteristic traits of being mature for their age, perfectionists, conscientious, diligent, and

leaders. There is an exception to these rules which is in the case of twins due to them operating

as a family within a family and are often perceived as a single unit (Voo). After reviewing these

characteristics, I can see that I, as being the firstborn, do posses a lot of those firstborn traits as

well as my sisters displaying the characteristic traits for their perspective birth order. For me, my

baby sister, Samantha, fits almost perfectly with the last-born characteristics, however, Suzanna

does not fit into the mold of the middle child but acts more like a firstborn.

That curiosity as to why Suzanna did not lead me to my next environmental factor which

is gender differences. Gender difference plays an important role to sibling bonds as well and

breaks into mixed gender dyads and same gender dyads (Whiteman et al.). I share a mixed dyad

with my sisters which explains why Suzanna did not have all those characteristic traits from the

middle or last born because she is the first girl born in our family. For example, if my sister

would have been another boy than that potential infinitesimal difference would have changed

how we interacted because she would have exhibited the characteristic traits of the middle born

or last born. In general boys tend to be more pugilistic than girls (“Science Looks At The Sibling

Effect”).

Next, I wanted to know how the age difference affected my sibling bonds due to Suzanna

and I only being a little over a year a part and Samantha and I having a more significant age

difference of twenty-one years. Age difference dictates that the less amount of a gap results in

more of a rivalry between siblings and if there is a large amount of a gap the older sibling will

take on the role of an aunt or uncle (Voo; Kluger). According to Kluger, studies have found that
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over ninety percent of small children fight over somebody touching, playing with, and looking at

the other person’s stuff (“The sibling bond”). In my case, that explains why growing up with

Suzanna, we always fought over who was the best at whatever the task was and why I act more

like an uncle to Samantha.

The next environmental factor that I will discuss is income, more importantly, the income

of a two-parent family and a single parent home and the effects it has on the children. According

to Gordon Berlin, about a third of all children born in the United States each year are born out of

wedlock and about half of all first marriages end in divorce. Those staggering numbers leave a

multitude of children living in a single-parent household which tends to be poor. Not to say that a

child will necessarily be better off living in a two-parent household but on average they will be

better on a wide range of social indicators. The reason I chose income as an environmental factor

is due to my parents divorcing when my sister and I were very young. On a couple of occasions,

I chose to live with my father and from those experiences I can truly say I understand the

struggle of a single-parent. Additionally, low-income families such as a single-parent family has

less resources to deal with life’s challenges (Berlin). I saw the difference in how I lived versus

how my sister lived. Suzanna did not have to worry about clothing, food, and responsibilities as

much as I did. For example, I made sure I was up in the morning to catch the bus as well as make

myself some food when I got home but I would not change anything about the way I grew up.

Those circumstances created the man that I see reflecting in the mirror back at me.

Before moving onto the four theoretical psychologically oriented perspectives that I will

be utilizing to solve the rest of the mystery that is my sibling bonds, I want to address why the

deidentification process and favoritism was not mentioned. The deidentification process is the

process in which siblings develop different qualities and select different niches as a way of
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maximizing resources from parents thus, reducing the level of competition (McHale et al.).

Favoritism needs not to be defined, we all know it well. However, Kluger cites a study that found

seventy percent of fathers and sixty-five percent of mothers exhibit a preference for at least one

child (“The sibling bond”). The reason for their exclusion was due to the overlapping area

between a sibling dyad constellation and the dyadic relationship with a parent. Additionally, it

will insure that my message is received as to what my purpose was which is to find the answer to

why siblings are similar or not.

Theoretical Perspectives

Upon learning the wide array of environmental factors, my question became how these

factors operate, coexist, and how may I implement the concepts into my world. The four

theoretical psychologically oriented perspectives that I will be utilizing are psychoanalytic-

evolutionary, social psychological, social learning, and family-ecological systems. I will utilize

the theoretical perspectives as a lens to examine the environmental factors discussed earlier.

Psychoanalytic-evolutionary perspective focuses on species-typical patterns of behavior due to

attachment and the survival function of social behavior (Whiteman et al.). Under this perspective

there will be two theories that I will discuss which are the attachment theory and Adler’s theory.

Attachment theory which is rooted in the writings of John Bowlby attempts to explain

developmental changes, mainly individual differences, in social relationships. Over the period of

an infants first year, an attachment relationship forms with a caregiver. Then in the second year

uses that caregiver and other members such as a sibling, as a secure base to return to in their time

of need. Due to the fragile condition a dyad is, children’s relationships good or egregious with

the caregiver sets the stage for the qualities of their sibling relationships. Adler’s theory focuses

on the important role of external social influences on personality development. One of the key
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concepts in Adler’s theory was the inferiority complex which put social comparisons and power

dynamics in families at the central of defining one’s self. Social psychological perspective looks

at how others influence one another and their motives. Of special interest in this perspective, is

the social comparison theory which was proposed by Leon Festinger in the 1950s. The social

comparison theory states that individuals are motivated to evaluate themselves based on how

they measure up against others, especially with those that are viewed as like themselves. Social

learning theories suggest a gained behavior through observing others. The principles of

observational learning propose that family members are important models for social learning if

they are warm and nurturing. Through the act of observing the interactional styles of other family

members a child learns social concepts. Finally, family-ecological systems view families as

independent elements that are always in flux with each other, extended families, and their

surroundings. The principles of family system theory hold that families must be studied as

complete systems. Within this theory, families are separated into a hierarchy, then separated into

different dyads, and then viewed as interdependent, reciprocating influential subsystems.

Bringing It All Together

After gathering the information about the theoretical perspectives, a vivid picture began

to materialize and with that picture came a level of understanding. The environmental factors are

heavily embedded into the theoretical perspectives as much as the theoretical perspectives give

almost a value to the environmental factors. The two elements dancing in a circle in constant

motion as they overlap and flux upon each other. By utilizing the environmental factors and

theoretical perspectives that I have discussed, it becomes clear why the two-aforementioned

sisters that played ice hockey in the 2018 Winter Olympics have the sibling dyad constellation

that they do as well as my own. However, I would like to add some points of my own to the
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conversation such as there should be greater attention and research dedicated towards the sibling

dyad constellation. In addition, that research should represent a greater representation of ethnic

groups in their studies. According to McHale et al., much less is known about the ways siblings

contribute to each other in a positive development in ethnic minority families. Moreover, there

needs to be a logical and ethical approach to get solid data on the full spectrum of sibling bonds.

Reflection

Reflecting upon the ponderous quantity of information that I was able to find on the

sibling dyad constellation I can efficiently answer the question why my sisters and I have the

bond that we have. For example, due to the small age difference between Suzanna and myself,

lead to a sibling rivalry which displays the key concept of the Adler’s theory which is inferiority

complex. Another example, is one that involves the overlapping areas of two environmental

factors which are gender difference and birth order regarding myself and Suzanna. Birth order

would suggest that I have certain characteristic traits as the firstborn, but she has some of those

same traits, but gender difference explains why we share some of those same traits. If the gender

of my sister was different than my childhood would have been extremely different. Who would

have thought that something so small as gender would have had a ripple effect that would have

not only changed our lives but also changed the countless lives that make up our world. For

example, our younger sister, mother, father, stepfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, and the people of

the world that we have directly or indirectly met. From this research I have gained a much deeper

understanding and a greater appreciation for the siblings that I have. In addition, through this

analyzing process I will be able to repair any bumps that may arise in the future and in the

further future, my own children. To conclude in the words of Jeffrey Kluger, “There may be no

relationship that effects us more profoundly, that’s closer, finer, harder, sweeter, happier, sadder,
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more filled with joy or fraught with woe than the relationship we have with our brothers and

sisters” (“The sibling bond”).

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