1

00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,368

A gang fight.

2
00:00:12,436 --> 00:00:14,737
I just want him
to fit in.

3
00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:18,073
I'm gonna take a shower.
Do you care to join me?

4
00:00:18,141 --> 00:00:21,110
You know, honey, there's a gun
in the footlocker in the garage.

5
00:00:21,178 --> 00:00:22,878
If I ever say "no"
to that question,

6
00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:24,213
I want you to use it
on me.

7
00:00:24,281 --> 00:00:25,781
[ chuckles ]

8
00:00:25,849 --> 00:00:27,683
[ haley speaking
indistinctly ]

9
00:00:27,751 --> 00:00:28,918
[ footsteps approaching ]

10
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:29,919
Shh, shh, shh!

11
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,720
What's wrong?

12
00:00:31,788 --> 00:00:34,890
[ continues speaking
indistinctly ]

13
00:00:34,958 --> 00:00:36,959
Why aren't they trying
to hurt each other?
14
00:00:37,027 --> 00:00:39,829
I don't know,
but I'm afraid to move.

15
00:00:39,896 --> 00:00:41,997
[ laughing ]
you're really good at this.

16
00:00:42,065 --> 00:00:43,032
Thanks.

17
00:00:43,099 --> 00:00:46,001
What is happening,
claire?

18
00:00:46,069 --> 00:00:47,736
Cameron: Mmm.
Mitchell:
What do you think?

19
00:00:47,804 --> 00:00:49,405
<i>Now, that is a scone.</i>

20
00:00:49,473 --> 00:00:51,841
No butter, nonfat.

21
00:00:51,908 --> 00:00:53,108
Shut up.

22
00:00:53,176 --> 00:00:54,543
[ doorbell rings ]

23
00:00:54,611 --> 00:00:56,278
I'm gonna go check
on lily.

24
00:01:00,116 --> 00:01:01,884
Surprise!

25
00:01:01,952 --> 00:01:03,686
Mom!
[ laughs ]

26
00:01:03,753 --> 00:01:05,321
[ thud, bird squawks ]
27
00:01:05,388 --> 00:01:06,856
Gloria: What's that?

28
00:01:06,923 --> 00:01:09,959
Sounds like a bird
hit the window.

29
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,294
Oh, god,
that's a bad sign.

30
00:01:12,362 --> 00:01:14,797
Ow!
That hurt, jerk!

31
00:01:14,865 --> 00:01:17,032
Ow!
I'm gonna kill you, stupid!

32
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,634
Ow!
[ clatter ]

33
00:01:18,702 --> 00:01:20,069
Wh happened?

34
00:01:20,136 --> 00:01:21,904
Now I'm sad.
Uhh!

35
00:01:21,972 --> 00:01:22,905
Hi, honey.

36
00:01:22,973 --> 00:01:24,440
Hi.

37
00:01:24,508 --> 00:01:25,741
I-I didn't know
you were in town.

38
00:01:25,809 --> 00:01:26,942
You didn't call.

39
00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,278
Well, I couldn't wait
to see your new baby.

40
00:01:29,346 --> 00:01:30,646
Where is she?

41
00:01:30,714 --> 00:01:31,747
Cameron:
Mitchell, who was that?

42
00:01:31,815 --> 00:01:32,848
Uh, it's my mom.

43
00:01:32,916 --> 00:01:34,016
Oh, yeah, right.

44
00:01:34,084 --> 00:01:35,384
'cause the last time
she was here,

45
00:01:35,452 --> 00:01:37,353
The refrigerator magnets
rearranged themselves

46
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:38,187
Into a penta--

47
00:01:38,255 --> 00:01:40,689
Grandma!

48
00:01:40,757 --> 00:01:41,790
Hey.

49
00:01:50,934 --> 00:01:53,636
-- <font color="#ffff00">Sync by honeybunny</font> --
www.addic7ed.com

50
00:01:56,139 --> 00:01:58,340
Mom...Mom, what are you doing
to her legs?

51
00:01:58,408 --> 00:02:00,743
Tai chi.
I did it every day in sedona.

52
00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:02,478
Cameron,
you should try it.

53
00:02:02,546 --> 00:02:04,513
[ chuckles ]

54
00:02:04,581 --> 00:02:09,151
Mitchell's mother
has a problem...With me.

55
00:02:09,219 --> 00:02:10,853
Last christmas,
for example,

56
00:02:10,921 --> 00:02:13,322
She gave me
a piece of exercise equipment

57
00:02:13,390 --> 00:02:14,823
And a lettuce dryer.

58
00:02:14,891 --> 00:02:16,191
So, to recap,

59
00:02:16,259 --> 00:02:18,193
I gave her a gorgeous pair
of diamond earrings,

60
00:02:18,261 --> 00:02:21,630
And she gave me a hint.

61
00:02:21,698 --> 00:02:25,234
Dede: And living in sedona
has been transformational.

62
00:02:25,302 --> 00:02:29,238
I get up every morning, and I
go to a vortex meditation site

63
00:02:29,306 --> 00:02:32,575
And work with a shaman
to finally understand

64
00:02:32,642 --> 00:02:34,677
How to live
my spirituality.

65
00:02:34,744 --> 00:02:36,145
Yikes.

66
00:02:36,212 --> 00:02:38,681
And I've learned
that the only way

67
00:02:38,748 --> 00:02:42,551
I can move to the next level
of my awakening

68
00:02:42,619 --> 00:02:47,489
Is if we all can somehow
get past...

69
00:02:47,557 --> 00:02:48,524
The incident.

70
00:02:48,592 --> 00:02:50,259
Oh, no.

71
00:02:50,327 --> 00:02:52,227
The incident.

72
00:02:52,295 --> 00:02:54,096
Oh, boy.

73
00:02:54,164 --> 00:02:57,366
I would like to congratulate
jay and the lovely gloria.

74
00:02:57,434 --> 00:02:59,868
I'm very happy for them.

75
00:02:59,936 --> 00:03:02,471
I wanted a big, beautiful
wedding with jay

76
00:03:02,539 --> 00:03:04,406
Because my ex-husband and I
got married

77
00:03:04,474 --> 00:03:07,776
In a tiny, little office
of a judge in colombia.

78
00:03:07,844 --> 00:03:09,578
Well, my mother
wanted to go to the wedding

79
00:03:09,646 --> 00:03:11,680
To show everyone how okay
she was with all of it,

80
00:03:11,748 --> 00:03:15,250
So I convinced dad and gloria
to invite her.

81
00:03:15,318 --> 00:03:18,854
Who warned you that
that was the worst idea ever?

82
00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:19,855
Anyone?

83
00:03:19,923 --> 00:03:21,056
Anyone?

84
00:03:21,124 --> 00:03:22,658
Oh. [ chuckles ]

85
00:03:22,726 --> 00:03:24,259
Of course,
I've -- I've moved on.

86
00:03:24,327 --> 00:03:25,527
[ chuckles ]

87
00:03:25,595 --> 00:03:26,895
I was supposed to come
with a date,

88
00:03:26,963 --> 00:03:28,931
But he just hurt his back,

89
00:03:28,999 --> 00:03:33,369
Which is very ironic because
he's young and -- and healthy.

90
00:03:33,436 --> 00:03:35,738
My mom started drinking
these cocktails
91
00:03:35,805 --> 00:03:37,940
Called "horny colombians"

92
00:03:38,008 --> 00:03:40,609
With some of
gloria's uncles,

93
00:03:40,677 --> 00:03:43,812
Whom, apparently,
the drink was named after.

94
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,280
Phil: Oh, come on,
they were funny.

95
00:03:45,348 --> 00:03:46,715
[ laughter ]

96
00:03:46,783 --> 00:03:48,684
They kept
patting my butt.

97
00:03:48,752 --> 00:03:51,654
[ chuckling ]
somebody's full of herself.

98
00:03:51,721 --> 00:03:55,391
It's a -- it's a colombian
wedding tradition, they said.

99
00:03:55,458 --> 00:03:56,558
[ glass clinking ]

100
00:03:56,626 --> 00:03:59,161
I would like to make a toast.

101
00:03:59,229 --> 00:04:01,397
Yeah,
nana got totally wasted.

102
00:04:01,464 --> 00:04:03,732
Uh, it was really funny.

103
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,635
Then it was gross.
104
00:04:06,703 --> 00:04:09,838
To the bride and the groom,
my ex.

105
00:04:09,906 --> 00:04:12,474
35 years we were together,

106
00:04:12,542 --> 00:04:16,547
And he couldn't wait 10 minutes
to run off with charo.

107
00:04:16,614 --> 00:04:17,881
I'm kidding.
[ chuckles ]

108
00:04:17,949 --> 00:04:19,183
[ rim shot ]

109
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:23,053
Seriously, I knew
they were perfect for each other

110
00:04:23,121 --> 00:04:25,089
When I saw his wallet
and her boobs.

111
00:04:25,156 --> 00:04:26,857
[ laughs ]

112
00:04:26,925 --> 00:04:28,559
Take your hands off me.

113
00:04:28,626 --> 00:04:29,827
Mom.
Mom.

114
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,062
Oh, relax, mitchell.

115
00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,964
What, did you take
your claire pill?

116
00:04:34,032 --> 00:04:36,200
Okay, l-let's just --
let's get a little
fresh air, okay? Come on.

117
00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:38,502
And then it got weird.

118
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,437
[ hispanic accent ] I'm gloria.
I'm gloria. Kiss me.

119
00:04:40,505 --> 00:04:42,106
Oh, hey, kiss me.

120
00:04:42,173 --> 00:04:46,110
[ guests gasping, murmuring ]

121
00:04:46,177 --> 00:04:48,479
Nana is really strong.

122
00:04:48,546 --> 00:04:50,147
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!

123
00:04:50,215 --> 00:04:52,683
Ooh!
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!

124
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,886
During my vows
to my first husband,

125
00:04:55,954 --> 00:04:59,089
Drug dealers burst in
and assassinated the judge.

126
00:04:59,157 --> 00:05:00,290
This was way worse.

127
00:05:00,358 --> 00:05:02,059
What can I say?
I drive women crazy.

128
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,094
[ laughs ]

129
00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:06,330
It's too soon,
I guess.
130
00:05:06,398 --> 00:05:09,400
Everybody is going to be there,
mom.

131
00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:10,634
Claire:
I don't care.

132
00:05:10,702 --> 00:05:12,669
Your father and I
are not about to let you

133
00:05:12,737 --> 00:05:13,971
Drive two hours
to go to a concert

134
00:05:14,039 --> 00:05:15,973
And then spend the night
with a bunch of boys,

135
00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:18,542
Especially that 17-year-old
hormone you're dating.

136
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:19,977
It's totally supervised.

137
00:05:20,045 --> 00:05:21,311
Oh, really?
By whom?

138
00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:22,946
By spencer patine's uncle.

139
00:05:23,014 --> 00:05:24,314
Who's spencer patine?

140
00:05:24,382 --> 00:05:25,916
You know spencer --
the guy with the arm.

141
00:05:25,984 --> 00:05:28,352
Wait. What kind of arm?
What does that even mean?

142
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:29,620
His uncle
is uncle tobey.

143
00:05:29,687 --> 00:05:31,021
Oh, uncle tobey.

144
00:05:31,089 --> 00:05:32,623
I'll be sure to include that
in my amber alert.

145
00:05:32,690 --> 00:05:33,891
Oh, my god.

146
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,126
Okaycan I step in here?
I think I can help.

147
00:05:36,194 --> 00:05:37,594
Haley, what your mom
is worried about

148
00:05:37,662 --> 00:05:39,163
Is you getting
your heart broken

149
00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:41,598
When dylan goes off to college
next year.

150
00:05:41,666 --> 00:05:43,133
He's not going to college.
That's not
what I'm even think--

151
00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:44,635
<i>He's not
going to college?</i>

152
00:05:44,702 --> 00:05:46,804
He's in a band, okay?
They're going on tour.

153
00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:48,639
Oh, this just gets
better and better.

154
00:05:48,706 --> 00:05:51,175
Why are you always on me
about everything?!

155
00:05:51,242 --> 00:05:53,911
Because you need
to understand --
okay,
now, everybody, calm down.

156
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,946
Let's start
from the beginning.

157
00:05:56,014 --> 00:05:57,781
What's wrong
with spencer's arm?

158
00:05:57,849 --> 00:05:59,083
Ugh!

159
00:06:03,455 --> 00:06:04,521
Mom, I'm home!

160
00:06:04,589 --> 00:06:05,689
Gloria: Hi, baby!

161
00:06:05,757 --> 00:06:08,192
Did you have fun
at the slumber party?

162
00:06:08,259 --> 00:06:10,661
You must be exhausted.

163
00:06:10,728 --> 00:06:12,029
No,
I'm not tired at all.

164
00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:14,665
I was the first one
to fall asleep.

165
00:06:14,732 --> 00:06:16,433
What's on your face?

166
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,535
A smile from having such
a good time with my friends.

167
00:06:18,603 --> 00:06:20,471
No.
Come here.

168
00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:25,242
Look.

169
00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:26,610
Oh.

170
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,445
That's why
they were laughing.

171
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,748
I thought it was my funny take
on current events.

172
00:06:31,816 --> 00:06:33,517
Why would they do something
like that?

173
00:06:33,585 --> 00:06:34,651
Don't worry about it.

174
00:06:34,719 --> 00:06:36,553
Guys pull pranks like that
all the time.

175
00:06:36,621 --> 00:06:38,188
You just got
to prank 'em back.

176
00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:40,557
Just got to show 'em
you're willing to give
as good as you get.

177
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,528
What do you think?

178
00:06:44,596 --> 00:06:49,032
Hmm, revenge...

179
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,334
I like it.

180
00:06:51,335 --> 00:06:53,335
Well, mom, instead of scratching it
down a wall,

181
00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:56,180
Maybe we should just try
and repress it

182
00:06:56,248 --> 00:06:57,715
Like a --
like a normal family.

183
00:06:57,782 --> 00:07:00,017
I can't.
I need closure.

184
00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:03,187
I'm about to embark on
a new journey.

185
00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:05,089
I met a man.
Really?

186
00:07:05,156 --> 00:07:06,657
His name is chas,

187
00:07:06,725 --> 00:07:09,293
And he's asked me
to come live with him

188
00:07:09,361 --> 00:07:10,694
In his foreign land.

189
00:07:10,762 --> 00:07:11,862
Wow. Where?

190
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,097
Canada.

191
00:07:13,164 --> 00:07:14,632
You're moving to --
to canada?
192
00:07:14,699 --> 00:07:16,166
French canada.

193
00:07:16,234 --> 00:07:17,201
[ plates clattering ]
oh.

194
00:07:17,269 --> 00:07:19,603
Oh, that --
that's wonderful.

195
00:07:19,671 --> 00:07:21,171
<i>It is wonderful.</i>

196
00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:23,140
It just that when I think of
all the awful things

197
00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:25,776
That I said
to gloria and jay

198
00:07:25,844 --> 00:07:27,911
And you and claire,

199
00:07:27,979 --> 00:07:29,513
I feel such guilt.

200
00:07:29,581 --> 00:07:31,615
Give it time...
And see banff.

201
00:07:31,683 --> 00:07:33,250
Cam, please.

202
00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:37,921
I just can't give myself to him
sexually.

203
00:07:37,989 --> 00:07:39,857
Okay, mom.
Did not see that coming.

204
00:07:39,924 --> 00:07:41,358
Oh, don't get me wrong.
205
00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:43,494
We satisfy each other
down there.

206
00:07:43,561 --> 00:07:44,928
Oh...
Yeah, don't want to...

207
00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:47,331
That's why I need
everyone's forgiveness.

208
00:07:47,399 --> 00:07:49,633
I need your help,
mitchell.
Cameron:
Did you hear that, mitchell?

209
00:07:49,701 --> 00:07:53,704
Your mom needs your help to
make love to her new man, chas.

210
00:07:53,772 --> 00:07:55,372
That's not weird at all.

211
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,474
I -- [ chuckles ]

212
00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:59,610
I'm just not really sure what
you're asking me to do, mom.

213
00:07:59,678 --> 00:08:01,345
Well,
everyone's mad at me.

214
00:08:01,413 --> 00:08:03,013
Oh...

215
00:08:03,081 --> 00:08:05,983
Maybe you could pave the way
so that I can apologize.

216
00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:09,253
Well, um...You know,
we are actually
217
00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,622
All supposed to have
Sunday dinner tonight,

218
00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:13,324
So maybe I could go around
and ask everyone

219
00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:14,758
If it's okay
foyou to join us.

220
00:08:14,826 --> 00:08:15,859
Oh!

221
00:08:15,927 --> 00:08:17,861
I knew
I could count on you.

222
00:08:17,929 --> 00:08:19,930
Oh, my beautiful boy.

223
00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,865
I love you so much.

224
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:24,301
There's a fish in nature
that swims around

225
00:08:24,369 --> 00:08:26,370
With its babies in its mouth.

226
00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,539
That fish would look at
mitchell's relationship

227
00:08:28,606 --> 00:08:30,541
With his mother
and say, "that's messed up."

228
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,647
Hey.

229
00:08:36,715 --> 00:08:38,615
Hey.
230
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:40,951
Boy [clears throat]

231
00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:44,555
Things with your mom got pretty
intense down there, huh?

232
00:08:44,622 --> 00:08:46,890
All like
east coast/west coast.

233
00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,092
You feelin' me?

234
00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:50,260
Act like a parent,
talk like a peer.

235
00:08:50,328 --> 00:08:52,262
I call it "peerenting."

236
00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,598
I learned it from my own dad
who used to walk into my room

237
00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:56,900
And say, "what's up, sweathog?"

238
00:08:56,968 --> 00:08:57,868
[ chuckles ]

239
00:08:57,936 --> 00:08:59,670
Honey...

240
00:08:59,738 --> 00:09:01,672
I would love to let you go
to the concert.

241
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:04,208
Are you kidding me?
I think concerts are rad.

242
00:09:04,275 --> 00:09:06,777
Hello!
I was a hall-raiser.
A what?
243
00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:09,380
I followed hall & oates
around the country one summer.

244
00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:11,415
"rich girl"
just spoke to me.

245
00:09:11,483 --> 00:09:14,084
I was dating this girl.
Not -- not dating.

246
00:09:14,152 --> 00:09:16,787
I guess I was following her,
too, kind of.

247
00:09:16,855 --> 00:09:19,690
Okay, mom just doesn't trust me,
and it's not fair.

248
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:21,058
She trusts you.

249
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,093
It's just that weird stuff
happens at concerts.

250
00:09:23,161 --> 00:09:24,395
Boys get urges.

251
00:09:24,462 --> 00:09:25,496
Ew.

252
00:09:25,563 --> 00:09:27,398
Dad, is there something
you want?

253
00:09:27,465 --> 00:09:28,632
Yes, there is --

254
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,367
To connect with this girl
right here.

255
00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:31,969
Now, come on.
Pretend I'm not your dad.

256
00:09:32,036 --> 00:09:34,405
We're just a couple of friends
kickin' it in a juice bar.

257
00:09:34,472 --> 00:09:35,839
What's a juice bar?

258
00:09:35,907 --> 00:09:37,574
Okay, a malt shop,
whatever.

259
00:09:37,642 --> 00:09:39,143
Dad, I don't --
no.
Who's dad?

260
00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:40,544
Who's dad? I'm --

261
00:09:40,612 --> 00:09:42,346
I'm marcus from biology.

262
00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:43,814
Hey, haley.

263
00:09:43,882 --> 00:09:45,349
How's it going with you
and dylan?

264
00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:49,153
Has he tried anything
inappropriate with you...Girl?

265
00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:50,654
[ cellphone rings ]

266
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:51,655
Hey.

267
00:09:51,723 --> 00:09:53,190
No, nothing.

268
00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:56,960
Just talking to some dork I met
in a malt shop.

269
00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:59,062
[ doorbell rings ]

270
00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:00,731
Hey, mitchell.
What's up?

271
00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:02,699
Hey, just --
just in the hood.

272
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,368
So, do you --
do you remember

273
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:06,637
How mom gave up a career
to raise us?

274
00:10:06,704 --> 00:10:08,572
Promising career.

275
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,973
Oh, god.

276
00:10:10,041 --> 00:10:11,141
Claire?

277
00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:12,709
Mom.

278
00:10:12,777 --> 00:10:14,945
Why so long?

279
00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:16,447
Mm, I know.

280
00:10:16,514 --> 00:10:18,415
I know, it's weird when
we haven't talked for a while.

281
00:10:18,483 --> 00:10:19,817
I mean your hair.
282
00:10:19,884 --> 00:10:21,218
Mm...

283
00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:23,220
Well, if I can't tell you,
who will?

284
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:25,255
So, mom wants you to know

285
00:10:25,323 --> 00:10:28,192
That she's very sorry
about the incident

286
00:10:28,259 --> 00:10:30,928
And -- and she wants us
to forgive her.

287
00:10:30,995 --> 00:10:33,096
Oh, very nice of her
to say that through you.

288
00:10:33,164 --> 00:10:35,299
Do you see?

289
00:10:35,366 --> 00:10:37,568
The sarcasm
is so hurtful --

290
00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:39,470
Like a whip.

291
00:10:39,537 --> 00:10:42,172
Yoow how growing up, we l
have that voice inside our head

292
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,275
That tells us
we're not good enough?

293
00:10:45,343 --> 00:10:48,378
Well, mine was outside my head,
driving me to school.

294
00:10:48,446 --> 00:10:50,447
So -- so, anyway,
mom really wants

295
00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:52,483
To smooth everything over
with dad and gloria,

296
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:54,785
So I was thinking,
would it be okay

297
00:10:54,853 --> 00:10:57,421
If she maybe joined us
for dinner tonight?

298
00:10:57,489 --> 00:11:00,190
Because it may be the last time
you ever see me.

299
00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:01,925
Well...
Okay, wait.

300
00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,427
What are you
talking about?

301
00:11:03,495 --> 00:11:05,062
Well, I'm --

302
00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:09,366
I'm moving to a far
and dangerous place.

303
00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:13,103
Canada, but -- uh, she met
a man named chas. Yeah.

304
00:11:13,171 --> 00:11:14,438
He's a logger.

305
00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:17,140
Like a --
like a lumberjack?

306
00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:20,277
No, he logs blood samples
into a cholesterol study.

307
00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:23,914
Anyway, until I'm past
this whole wedding debacle,

308
00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:25,315
I can't be intimate
with him.

309
00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:26,416
Oh.

310
00:11:26,484 --> 00:11:27,918
We do things
to each other.

311
00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:29,119
We use our hands.

312
00:11:29,187 --> 00:11:30,487
Mm...
Oh, my lord.

313
00:11:30,555 --> 00:11:31,655
Haley: Hey, nana.

314
00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:33,891
Oh, my little comet.
Hey!

315
00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:36,527
Oh, look at you.
You're all grown up.

316
00:11:36,594 --> 00:11:38,295
Hmm, tell mom that.

317
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:40,430
She won't even let me go
to a concert.

318
00:11:40,498 --> 00:11:42,399
Overnight
with her boyfriend.

319
00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:45,469
[ laughs ]

320
00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:47,070
What are you laughing at?

321
00:11:47,138 --> 00:11:51,408
Oh, karma's a funny thing,
that's all.

322
00:11:51,476 --> 00:11:52,843
Remember ricky?

323
00:11:52,911 --> 00:11:53,844
Oh, god.

324
00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:55,045
Oh, who's ricky?

325
00:11:55,113 --> 00:11:56,380
No one.

326
00:11:56,447 --> 00:11:58,549
Ricky was
your mother's boyfriend,

327
00:11:58,616 --> 00:12:00,751
And he looked
like charles manson.

328
00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:04,254
And one night, she didn't come
home until 4:00 in the morning.

329
00:12:04,322 --> 00:12:05,622
4:00? Wow.

330
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,925
Wow, mom, what were you
and ricky doing?

331
00:12:07,992 --> 00:12:09,426
Nothing.

332
00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:11,628
We were doing nothing,
and he was a very sweet boy,

333
00:12:11,696 --> 00:12:14,097
Which you might have known if
you bothered to get to know him.

334
00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:15,599
Dylan's a sweet boy.

335
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,000
[ scoffs ] dylan.

336
00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:20,537
Dylan is no ricky.
Ricky -- ricky was a poet.

337
00:12:20,605 --> 00:12:23,106
Dylan writes songs --
awesome songs.

338
00:12:23,174 --> 00:12:24,541
And maybe
you would know that

339
00:12:24,609 --> 00:12:26,243
If you
"bothered to get to know him."

340
00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:27,244
Ha!

341
00:12:27,312 --> 00:12:29,246
[ laughs ]

342
00:12:29,314 --> 00:12:32,449
Okay, you know, first of all,
I am not my mother.

343
00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:36,620
I don't judge people before
I get a chance to know them.

344
00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:39,823
So you invite dylan over
to dinner tonight,

345
00:12:39,891 --> 00:12:42,926
And if he's as sweet and as kind
as you say he is,

346
00:12:42,994 --> 00:12:45,395
Then I have no problem

347
00:12:45,463 --> 00:12:48,065
Considering letting you
go to the concert

348
00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:50,734
After I do a background check
on uncle tobey.

349
00:12:50,802 --> 00:12:52,469
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, mom.

350
00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:54,371
Okay,
I'm gonna go call him.

351
00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:55,572
Okay.

352
00:12:57,075 --> 00:12:58,742
That's very revealing.

353
00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,644
That's my parenting style.

354
00:13:00,712 --> 00:13:02,212
No, I meant your blouse.

355
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:03,447
Mom.

356
00:13:03,514 --> 00:13:05,515
Claire, wait.
Come -- [ chuckles ]

357
00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:07,985
Not making this easy.

358
00:13:08,052 --> 00:13:09,820
Claire, come on.
Stop, stop, stop.

359
00:13:09,887 --> 00:13:11,888
Just let her
come to dinner,

360
00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:13,457
Apologize
to dad and gloria,

361
00:13:13,524 --> 00:13:16,193
And she and chas
can live happily ever after.

362
00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:17,761
In canada.
In canada.

363
00:13:17,829 --> 00:13:18,962
[ sighs ]

364
00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:20,697
<i>Wait, why don't you make her
fix this</i>

365
00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,733
<i>Instead of you doing it,
as usual?</i>

366
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,101
Whoa.
What's that supposed to mean?

367
00:13:24,168 --> 00:13:25,235
Oh, you know,
mom makes a mess,

368
00:13:25,303 --> 00:13:26,336
And there's mitchell
to clean it up.

369
00:13:26,404 --> 00:13:28,538
<i>Okay, that is so not true.</i>

370
00:13:28,606 --> 00:13:30,374
If -- if anything,
you're the one

371
00:13:30,441 --> 00:13:32,175
With the screwed-up relationship
with mommy --

372
00:13:32,243 --> 00:13:33,744
With -- with -- with mom.
Wow, "mommy"?

373
00:13:33,811 --> 00:13:35,212
No, I didn't say it --
damn it.

374
00:13:35,279 --> 00:13:36,346
Ooh.

375
00:13:36,414 --> 00:13:37,848
Fine.

376
00:13:37,915 --> 00:13:39,783
Fine, she can come, but she's
got to clear it with daddy.

377
00:13:39,851 --> 00:13:41,184
"Daddy"?
I did not say "daddy."

378
00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:42,635
You said "daddy."

379
00:13:45,456 --> 00:13:46,490
Hey, dad.

380
00:13:46,557 --> 00:13:48,091
Mitchell,
what are you doing here?

381
00:13:48,159 --> 00:13:49,426
Uh, I'm sorry to bother you.

382
00:13:49,494 --> 00:13:50,927
Uh, could I talk to
you and gloria for a second?

383
00:13:50,995 --> 00:13:53,263
Oh, she's out dealing
with a manny situation.

384
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,232
He set a kid's bike
on fire.

385
00:13:55,299 --> 00:13:56,733
Why?

386
00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:58,702
Oh, I might have told him
to get even with some kids,

387
00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:00,737
And he went all rambo
with it.

388
00:14:02,273 --> 00:14:03,974
Not my best parenting
moment.

389
00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:05,342
[ chuckles ]
not your worst.

390
00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:06,677
What's up?

391
00:14:06,744 --> 00:14:09,012
Uh, well, you know,
mom's in town.

392
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,380
Your mom?

393
00:14:10,448 --> 00:14:11,748
No. No, your mom.
She's back from the grave.

394
00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:13,150
Yes.
Yes, my mom,.

395
00:14:13,217 --> 00:14:14,885
My mom
would be less scary.
396
00:14:14,952 --> 00:14:17,254
Listen, she's a wreck about
what happened at the wedding,

397
00:14:17,321 --> 00:14:18,922
And she wants to come
to dinner tonight

398
00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:20,290
To apologize to everyone.

399
00:14:20,358 --> 00:14:22,359
Still her little errand boy,
I see.

400
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:24,761
No. Why does everybody
keep say-- no.

401
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:28,699
I -- I'm just trying to piece
this family back together.

402
00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:31,334
So you'll talk to gloria
about mom coming to dinner?

403
00:14:31,402 --> 00:14:33,203
Oh, gloria would never go
for that in a million years.

404
00:14:33,271 --> 00:14:34,538
She's still furious
with your mother,

405
00:14:34,605 --> 00:14:36,640
Which is why
I'm not talking to you.

406
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:37,841
<i>What did I do?</i>

407
00:14:37,909 --> 00:14:39,576
This conversation
never took place.
408
00:14:39,644 --> 00:14:41,078
Well, that's not very nice.
I drove all the way here.

409
00:14:41,145 --> 00:14:42,245
No, you didn't.
You were never here.

410
00:14:42,313 --> 00:14:43,780
In fact,
you never even called.

411
00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:45,582
I would have called,
but I thought it would be better

412
00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:47,217
To talk about th--
what -- what's happening here?

413
00:14:47,285 --> 00:14:49,486
Listen...

414
00:14:49,554 --> 00:14:52,122
I would love to get
this thing behind us,

415
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:54,124
But gloria
would never forgive me

416
00:14:54,192 --> 00:14:55,659
If I pulled a fast one
on her.

417
00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:58,528
<i>That's why you're going to pull
a fast one on her,</i>

418
00:14:58,596 --> 00:15:00,797
And I'm not going to like it
one bit.

419
00:15:00,865 --> 00:15:01,998
Okay, that's just great.

420
00:15:02,066 --> 00:15:03,433
No, that's great.
So it's all up to me.

421
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,102
I can't hear you
because you're back home

422
00:15:05,169 --> 00:15:06,436
And I'm taking a nap.

423
00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:08,638
[ sighs ]

424
00:15:08,706 --> 00:15:10,574
[ doorbell rings ]

425
00:15:12,744 --> 00:15:14,778
D-money. There he is.
Hey.

426
00:15:14,846 --> 00:15:15,979
Come on in.

427
00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:17,280
Hi.
Hey, how you doing?

428
00:15:17,348 --> 00:15:18,315
Good.

429
00:15:18,382 --> 00:15:19,583
Um...

430
00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:21,752
Uh, hey, everybody,
this is dylan.

431
00:15:21,819 --> 00:15:22,853
Hey.

432
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,988
Hey.
Hi.

433
00:15:25,056 --> 00:15:28,058
He has
a very gentle soul.

434
00:15:28,126 --> 00:15:30,026
You got that from "hey"?

435
00:15:30,094 --> 00:15:32,262
So, dylan,
I see you brought the ax.

436
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:34,097
Yeah, yeah,
I just came from practice.

437
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:36,133
Sweet.
Miss those days.

438
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,501
Oh, you were in a band?

439
00:15:37,568 --> 00:15:39,136
Could have been,
but in high school,

440
00:15:39,203 --> 00:15:40,737
I was really
all about my magic, so...

441
00:15:40,805 --> 00:15:42,172
Oh, my god.

442
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,673
[ doorbell rings ]

443
00:15:43,741 --> 00:15:45,208
Oh, that's gonna be
dad and gloria.

444
00:15:45,276 --> 00:15:48,712
Oh, mitchell,
I know it's silly, but...

445
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:50,113
I'm a little nervous.

446
00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:52,616
Oh, no. That's not silly.
You should be.

447
00:15:52,683 --> 00:15:53,617
[ door opens ]

448
00:15:53,684 --> 00:15:54,785
Hey.

449
00:15:54,852 --> 00:15:56,086
How are you?

450
00:15:56,154 --> 00:15:57,888
Manny.
Phil.

451
00:15:57,955 --> 00:15:59,456
Nice mustache.
Thank you.

452
00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:01,558
Don't make fun.
He may burn your house down.

453
00:16:04,595 --> 00:16:05,695
Oh, boy.

454
00:16:05,763 --> 00:16:06,663
Dede.

455
00:16:06,731 --> 00:16:08,598
Hi, jay. Gloria.

456
00:16:08,666 --> 00:16:10,400
What is she doing here?

457
00:16:10,468 --> 00:16:12,669
What does she mean,
"what is she doing here?"

458
00:16:12,737 --> 00:16:14,805
Mitchell told you
I'd be here.
Lies!

459
00:16:14,872 --> 00:16:16,940
I couldn't tell her
because she wouldn't come.

460
00:16:17,008 --> 00:16:19,876
Gloria, my mom wants
to apologize for everything.

461
00:16:19,944 --> 00:16:21,711
So you just spring it
on gloria like this?

462
00:16:21,779 --> 00:16:23,446
Mitchell, what the hell
is wrong with you?

463
00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:24,581
I don't want
her apologies.

464
00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:26,349
And who could blame you,
honey?

465
00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:28,218
Which is why this is
a terrible idea by you!

466
00:16:28,286 --> 00:16:30,353
Jay, manny, let's go.

467
00:16:30,421 --> 00:16:32,589
Oh, wait, wait, gloria.

468
00:16:32,657 --> 00:16:35,258
I d--
I just want to tell you

469
00:16:35,326 --> 00:16:37,727
How sorry I am
for ruining your wedding.

470
00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:41,731
I was struggling
with being alone.

471
00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:44,768
Meanwhile, jay moves on
so easily.

472
00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:46,770
And -- and not with
just anyone --

473
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:50,407
With a...

474
00:16:50,474 --> 00:16:53,577
Young and smart
and beautiful woman.

475
00:16:53,644 --> 00:16:55,946
I don't expect
to forgive me.

476
00:16:56,013 --> 00:16:57,480
If I were you,

477
00:16:57,548 --> 00:17:00,317
I'd want to punch me
right in the mouth.

478
00:17:07,758 --> 00:17:10,427
I think we've had
enough revenge

479
00:17:10,494 --> 00:17:12,295
In this family
for one day.

480
00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:14,598
Oh, okay. Y-y-you see?

481
00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:16,499
Yeah, we're all gonna
move past this.

482
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,902
And because of me, who --
who's not a mama's boy,

483
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:22,138
But is a caring person with
wisdom and emotional insight,
484
00:17:22,206 --> 00:17:23,673
So make a note, bitches.

485
00:17:23,741 --> 00:17:25,375
That's not a good color
on you.

486
00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:27,410
[ sighs ]
I forgive you.

487
00:17:29,447 --> 00:17:32,215
Oh. Wow.

488
00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:34,517
I am not prepared
for this.

489
00:17:34,585 --> 00:17:37,053
I just -- I wa--

490
00:17:37,121 --> 00:17:39,089
I want
to rip your head off!

491
00:17:39,156 --> 00:17:42,158
[ indistinct shouting ]

492
00:17:42,226 --> 00:17:45,095
You ruined my wedding!

493
00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:46,763
I got gloria!

494
00:17:46,831 --> 00:17:48,298
I got gloria!

495
00:17:48,366 --> 00:17:52,102
[ indistinct shouting
continues ]

496
00:17:52,169 --> 00:17:53,470
I got gloria.

497
00:17:53,537 --> 00:17:55,705
Stand up like a big girl.
Come on.

498
00:17:55,773 --> 00:17:57,007
Jay: All right, all right,
all right.

499
00:17:57,074 --> 00:17:59,409
Stop it, stop it, stop it,
the two of you!

500
00:17:59,477 --> 00:18:01,444
I am so sorry
about this.

501
00:18:01,512 --> 00:18:02,812
No, it's cool.
It's cool.

502
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,114
This is ridiculous.

503
00:18:04,181 --> 00:18:07,617
Gloria didn't steal me, dede,
and you know it.

504
00:18:07,685 --> 00:18:09,819
We grew apart for years.

505
00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:11,821
And you left to find yourself,
remember?

506
00:18:11,889 --> 00:18:14,190
I thought
I could handle this.

507
00:18:14,258 --> 00:18:15,659
I'm so sorry.

508
00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:16,927
You don't say "sorry"
anymore!

509
00:18:16,994 --> 00:18:18,628
That word means nothing
in your mouth!

510
00:18:18,696 --> 00:18:21,364
I got gloria.

511
00:18:21,432 --> 00:18:23,033
I don't know
what just happened.

512
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,467
Dylan: I do.

513
00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:30,006
I mean,
it seems pretty simple to me.

514
00:18:30,074 --> 00:18:32,943
You're reaching out, trying
to hold on to something awesome.

515
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:35,111
Um, maybe --
maybe you shouldn't --

516
00:18:35,179 --> 00:18:37,247
Look, look, look,
I'm noused to this,

517
00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:39,349
The whole big-family thing.

518
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:42,218
In my house, we don't even talk
to each other.

519
00:18:42,286 --> 00:18:43,887
You know, it's funny.

520
00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:46,823
The first time I saw haley,
I knew I liked her.

521
00:18:46,891 --> 00:18:48,692
I mean, she's beautiful
and everything,

522
00:18:48,759 --> 00:18:50,327
But it's --
it's not just that.

523
00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:54,097
It's that she's got
this killer confidence --

524
00:18:54,165 --> 00:18:56,299
You know,
the kind of confidence

525
00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:58,868
That you get
from having a family like this,

526
00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:04,274
That's passionate
and accepting of hot foreigners

527
00:19:04,342 --> 00:19:08,378
And gay dudes
and nutty people --

528
00:19:08,446 --> 00:19:14,017
You know, a family
that actually loves each other.

529
00:19:14,085 --> 00:19:16,086
I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,

530
00:19:16,153 --> 00:19:19,022
But maybe we should let her
go with him.

531
00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:21,925
He's perfect.

532
00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:26,396
Everybody, haley says
that dylan is a musician,

533
00:19:26,464 --> 00:19:29,232
And he writes
some great songs.

534
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:30,700
Play something, bro.

535
00:19:30,701 --> 00:19:33,203
Well, I guess so,
if you want me to.

536
00:19:33,270 --> 00:19:35,205
We could all use a nice tune
right now.

537
00:19:35,272 --> 00:19:38,675
This is actually a song
I wrote for haley.

538
00:19:38,743 --> 00:19:40,543
It's called
"in the moonlight."

539
00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:41,544
Lovely title, dylan.

540
00:19:41,612 --> 00:19:42,746
Thanks.

541
00:19:44,949 --> 00:19:50,186
* the stars are falling
from the sky *

542
00:19:50,254 --> 00:19:55,025
* and you're the reason why *

543
00:19:57,928 --> 00:20:01,297
* the moon is shining
on your face *

544
00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:08,605
* 'cause it finally feels
it's found its place *

545
00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:13,276
* 'cause, baby, baby,
I just want to do you *

546
00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:14,644
* do you *
547
00:20:14,712 --> 00:20:16,780
* do you want to do me *

548
00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:17,881
* do me *

549
00:20:17,948 --> 00:20:19,649
* underneath the moonlight *

550
00:20:19,717 --> 00:20:21,317
* the moonlight? *

551
00:20:21,385 --> 00:20:25,221
* baby, baby,
maybe I will steal you *

552
00:20:25,289 --> 00:20:26,790
* steal you *

553
00:20:26,857 --> 00:20:28,658
* just so I can feel you *

554
00:20:28,726 --> 00:20:29,926
* feel you *

555
00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:31,561
* maybe that would heal you *

556
00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:35,065
* heal you on the inside *

557
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,967
<i>She's so not going.</i>

558
00:20:38,035 --> 00:20:40,570
Not a chance in hell.

559
00:20:45,442 --> 00:20:49,112
* the moon is shining
* they doon your face *nd *

560
00:20:49,179 --> 00:20:52,815
* and it finally feels it's *

561
00:20:52,883 --> 00:20:56,019
* found its place 'cause *

562
00:20:56,086 --> 00:21:00,290
* baby, baby,
I just want to do you *

563
00:21:00,357 --> 00:21:01,357
* do you *

564
00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:03,259
* baby, you can do me *

565
00:21:03,327 --> 00:21:04,494
* do me *

566
00:21:04,561 --> 00:21:06,429
* man, I will do you *

567
00:21:06,497 --> 00:21:07,697
* do you *

568
00:21:07,765 --> 00:21:09,565
* maybe it would heal you *

569
00:21:09,633 --> 00:21:10,667
* heal you *

570
00:21:10,734 --> 00:21:12,935
Both:
* from the inside *

571
00:21:13,003 --> 00:21:14,170
* from the inside *

572
00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:15,805
* from the inside *

573
00:21:15,873 --> 00:21:16,973
* from the inside *

574
00:21:16,974 --> 00:21:18,974
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

575
00:21:19,109 --> 00:21:21,110
Never good at harmonizing.
* side * that was good.

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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