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How I Met Your Mother S05E04 The Sexless Innkeeper (1080p x265 Joy)
How I Met Your Mother S05E04 The Sexless Innkeeper (1080p x265 Joy)
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{\pos(192,220)}<i>So I decided to change
my look a little bit.</i>
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{\pos(192,220)}<i>And people were noticing.</i>
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{\pos(192,220)}Tweed.
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Textile of the eunuch.
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I've always wondered why those
tweed jackets have elbow patches.
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Because the people who wear them
are constantly going,
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"Geez. Why can I get laid?"
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You are wrong.
The ladies dig the professor look.
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There is something to that.
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I remember thinking my tenth grade
math teacher was very sexy.
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I wonder if Harold's still in jail.
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What?
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Tax evasion.
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Among other things.
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So guys, Marshall and I wanted
to invite you to our place
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for a little couples' night.
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Sure. Why not?
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<i>For years, Marshall and Lily
had been the only married couple</i>
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<i>in a group full of single people.</i>
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<i>It got lonely.</i>
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<i>So they were always searching
for another couple to double-date.</i>
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<i>There was only one problem.</i>
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- Welcome.
- Gouda?
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<i>They sucked at it.</i>
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This is great. We're having fun.
You're having fun, right?
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So, should we just go ahead
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and lock the four of us in
for new year's?
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It's april.
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Right. Sorry.
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We're getting ahead of ourselves.
Let's talk Thanksgiving.
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Our parents really want to meet you!
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Well, we should probably be going.
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Wait. But, wait, if you leave now,
Colonel Mustard just gets away with it.
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It's getting pretty late.
We're going to go.
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There's still pie.
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Tonight was fantastic.
We should do it again.
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I'm sorry, Marshall
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but Falguni and I
are just not that into you.
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And you.
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<i>But just when Lily and Marshall
were about to give up,</i>
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{\pos(192,220)}<i>two of their best friends
in the world got together.</i>
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<i>And hope returned to their hearts.</i>
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<i>So when Lily said...</i>
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Marshall and I wanted to invite you to
our place for a little couples' night.
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Sure, why not?
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<i>Barney and Robin had no idea
what they were about to walk into.</i>
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Okay. Game time.
Let's review the flow of the room.
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Barney and Robin enter here,
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stop here for margaritas.
That's a great conversation starter.
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We can tell them about
our trip to Cabo.
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Great, cause I got that story
about Sammy Hagar
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and the Belgian waffle
locked and loaded.
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Then we'll move on to the
hot apps station. And,
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depending on how things are going,
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some lively pre-dinner charades.
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Right, but...
we'll play that one by...
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Sounds like?
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Okay, you can be Robin's partner.
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Baby, we can do this.
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- Welcome.
- Gouda?
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<i>Meanwhile, my half-baked theory
that ladies dig the professor look</i>
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<i>was actually proving to be true.</i>
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So is it hard to grade papers?
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You've just got to make it fun.
For example...
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every time I spot a grammatical error,
I do a shot.
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I'm trashed right now
and I blame our public school system.
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<i>Sometimes things just seem
to magically fall into place.</i>
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So, you said
you live right upstairs?
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<i>Whether it's in the dating world...</i>
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Take care.
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<i>... or the double-dating world.</i>
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- Nailed it!
- Best night ever!
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Worst night ever.
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{\1c&H7f1ae7&}Synchro: Mickeyte{\c}
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{\1c&H18dfff&}Traduction: Dark_Chii,
Eomyn, Lit�o, Lino72 & MiniBen314{\c}
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{\1c&H0000ff&}Relecture: MiniBen314{\c}
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<i>{\1c&H00ff00&}How I Met Your Mother
5x04 - The Sexless Innkeeper{\c}</i>
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<i>{\1c&H87692e&}par la "Have You Met Team"
pour www.forom.com{\c}</i>
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How was the big couples'
night with Marshall and Lily?
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- Brutal.
- Really? How?
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{\pos(192,220)}It was like we were
on a date with a sad,
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{\pos(192,220)}chubby girl our mom made us call.
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{\pos(192,220)}And they were so nervous,
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{\pos(192,220)}that they weren't even
making sense half of the time.
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{\pos(192,220)}Come on in.
Would you like a margarita?
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In Cabo, I saw Sammy Hagar
eating a Belgian waffle!
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{\pos(192,210)}And they kept shoving platters
of food in our faces.
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00:04:07,332 --> 00:04:10,457
{\pos(192,230)}Let me guess, did Marshall get, like,
super intense about the cheese?
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{\pos(192,230)}- Yeah, how'd you know?
- Poor Marshall.
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{\pos(192,230)}Lily's this gourmet cook,
and all she lets Marshall do is
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{\pos(192,210)}pick out one sad block of cheese.
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That's prosciutto-wrapped melon.
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You guys are going to want
to get in on this gouda.
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{\pos(192,210)}That's seared scallops
with a mango chutney.
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Seriously, don't sleep on the gouda.
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And that's lobster ravioli
in a black truffle oil.
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{\pos(192,190)}Tick-tock goes the gouda clock.
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{\pos(192,210)}We didn't realize
there was gonna be dinner.
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{\pos(192,210)}We sucked down
a couple tacos outside the subway.
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{\pos(192,210)}PS, not sitting great.
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{\pos(192,210)}And if anything didn't go according
to plan, they would freak out.
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{\pos(192,210)}What do you mean,
the egg timer is broken?
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What are we going to use
for charades, sweetie?
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{\pos(192,210)}I'm working on it, darling.
Okay? Just stall them.
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Now, Robin...
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{\pos(192,210)}You work in television.
We're experiencing some
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{\pos(192,210)}technical difficulties.
You get that?
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00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:07,382
{\pos(192,210)}We're still laughing.
Right? Laugh, Marshall.
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Come on, they just got excited.
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{\pos(192,210)}They've been looking for couple
best friends forever.
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{\pos(192,210)}Plus, I'm sure
they weren't that bad.
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Show him.
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{\pos(192,210)}This is a web site Marshall
already made about last night.
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{\pos(192,210)}It's called:
itwasthebestnightever.com.
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<i>It was the best night ever</i>
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<i>Laughter raining down
like April showers</i>
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<i>We talked for hours...</i>
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- <i>Best night ever</i>
- That's not good.
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<i>Then we played charades</i>
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<i>Lily made some creme brulee...</i>
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<i>And now that we're
best couple friends</i>
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<i>There's only one thing</i>
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<i>Left to say...</i>
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<i>Are you free?...</i>
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<i>Are you free next Saturday?</i>
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- That's the 17th.
- <i>Are you free?</i>
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Friday or Sunday would also work.
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Or basically any other day.
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Needless to say, we've both
changed our e-mail addresses.
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I don't understand.
If last night went so horribly,
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why do Lily and Marshall
think it was such a hit?
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We knew we were gonna have fun tonight
but we had no idea how much.
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Tough luck, every Saturday night
I've ever had,
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cause this one just
blew you out of the water.
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- Let's do it again, soon.
- Yeah, we'll call you.
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They're your friends! Why would you
just blatantly lie to them like that?
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That's what you say
at the end of a crappy date.
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Great time last night.
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Let's do it again, soon.
I'll call you.
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Right?
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- Who was that?
- I don't want to brag, but
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it seems chicks are really digging
the whole professor thing.
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Last night,
she picked me up at the bar.
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And then...
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She actually wound up falling asleep
on the couch. But, hey,
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that happens.
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- No, it doesn't.
- Sure, it does.
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You know, she was just exhausted
from being turned on.
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But you heard her.
She wants to do it again, soon.
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Ted, let me ask you a question.
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Where does this girl live, exactly?
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Westchester. Why?
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- You're the Sexless Innkeeper.
- Oh, my God! You're right!
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He's totally the Sexless Innkeeper!
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What the hell is
"the Sexless Innkeeper"?
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Many a man...
nay, many a soul...
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has their own tale of
the Sexless Innkeeper.
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Why, I had run-in
with one just last year.
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I even composed a poem about it.
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- Would you care to hear it?
- Not really.
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"It was the night before new year's
and the weather grew mean.
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It was 3:00 in the morning
and I was stranded in queens."
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<i>"The tavern grew empty,</i>
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<i>the gas lights grew dim."</i>
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<i>"The horse-drawn carriages
were all but snowed in..."</i>
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Wait. If this was last year,
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why are you acting like
it was Oliver Twist?
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It's a poem.
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<i>"Last call was approaching</i>
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<i>and my fortunes looked bleak."</i>
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<i>"Then I turned to my left</i>
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<i>and stifled a shriek."</i>
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<i>"She had a peach fuzz beard</i>
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<i>and weighed 16 stone."</i>
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<i>"She gobbled up hot wings</i>
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<i>and swallowed the bones."</i>
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00:08:31,657 --> 00:08:33,117
<i>"I muffled a scream</i>
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00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,051
<i>and threw up in my mouth."</i>
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00:08:35,478 --> 00:08:37,746
<i>I asked,</i> "Where do you live?"
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<i>And she said,</i> "One block south."
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<i>"I swallowed my pride</i>
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00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,013
<i>and six shots of whiskey."</i>
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<i>"And prayed to the gods</i>
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00:08:51,092 --> 00:08:52,992
<i>that she wasn't too frisky."</i>
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{\pos(192,210)}<i>"Back in her cave,
she prepared us a snack."</i>
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<i>"Neath her mighty hooves,
the floorboards did crack."</i>
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00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:04,990
<i>"But when she returned,</i>
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00:09:05,309 --> 00:09:07,212
<i>she found a sound sleeper."</i>
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00:09:08,174 --> 00:09:09,798
<i>"And thus she became</i>
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00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:12,345
<i>the Sexless Innkeeper."</i>
192
00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:14,636
And so are you
193
00:09:15,182 --> 00:09:18,097
Wait, you're saying that girl
just used me for a place to crash?
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00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,764
Ted, you mentioned that
you live right upstairs.
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00:09:20,889 --> 00:09:23,597
She saw the tweed jacket
which basically says
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00:09:23,722 --> 00:09:27,557
you're not interested in, nor probably
even capable of, having sex.
197
00:09:27,682 --> 00:09:30,082
And she thought,
"Hey, free lodging."
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00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,450
No way.
199
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,696
I'm not the Sexless Innkeeper.
200
00:09:34,703 --> 00:09:37,579
That girl had no intention
of ever hooking up with you.
201
00:09:37,704 --> 00:09:39,800
Which is funny, because usually
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00:09:39,925 --> 00:09:42,622
it's the Innkeeper
who offers turndown service.
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00:09:45,123 --> 00:09:47,003
Hey, guys. Good news.
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00:09:47,172 --> 00:09:50,171
First of all, you can ignore all the
e-mails and texts we've sent you.
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We have. Go on.
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Because we went ahead and booked
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00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:56,095
that couples weekend
for all of us in Vermont!
208
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,517
Wait, you guys were
serious about that?
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00:09:58,642 --> 00:10:02,392
We never joke about B&B's, especially
at the height of syrup season.
210
00:10:02,711 --> 00:10:05,803
Saturday we've got apple-picking,
antiquing, then
211
00:10:05,928 --> 00:10:07,543
a hanted hay ride.
212
00:10:07,668 --> 00:10:11,483
And then on Sunday, we're up
at 6:00 a.m. for the fall foliage hike.
213
00:10:11,608 --> 00:10:14,690
Now, you better pack your long Johns,
cause it is cold up there.
214
00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:19,023
I'm sorry that we have been
dodging your calls
215
00:10:19,148 --> 00:10:21,322
but we respect you guys
too much as friends
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00:10:21,447 --> 00:10:24,318
to give you some song and dance.
You deserve the truth.
217
00:10:29,024 --> 00:10:32,054
The US Navy has found
intelligent alien life
218
00:10:32,179 --> 00:10:34,029
at the bottom of the ocean.
219
00:10:34,413 --> 00:10:36,108
For reasons I can't explain,
220
00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:39,095
Robin and I have been tapped
to lead the expedition.
221
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:43,212
That kind of sounds like
the stuff you say to girls
222
00:10:43,337 --> 00:10:45,601
when you're too much
of a coward to dump them.
223
00:10:45,772 --> 00:10:48,100
You know, that's exactly
what it sounds like.
224
00:10:48,410 --> 00:10:50,314
But if that's true, that's awesome.
225
00:10:51,807 --> 00:10:53,107
What's going on?
226
00:10:53,642 --> 00:10:56,572
Look, all the couple-y stuff,
it's just not us.
227
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:59,824
Barney and I are barely equipped
to date each other, let alone you guys.
228
00:11:00,302 --> 00:11:02,744
Plus, the alien thing.
229
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,971
- Come on, Marshall. Let's go.
- Let's go.
230
00:11:06,096 --> 00:11:08,246
- No... Lily...
- You know what?
231
00:11:08,486 --> 00:11:11,436
I hope those underwater aliens
are cold-blooded.
232
00:11:12,664 --> 00:11:15,089
Cause then you guys will
get along just fine.
233
00:11:20,669 --> 00:11:22,388
I think they bought it.
234
00:11:24,748 --> 00:11:26,567
I can't believe they
broke up with us.
235
00:11:26,692 --> 00:11:28,042
We're so lovable.
236
00:11:29,102 --> 00:11:31,452
No, we're not.
We're ugly and gross.
237
00:11:32,579 --> 00:11:35,401
- I thought we did everything right.
- I know!
238
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,192
I know. We had the gouda.
239
00:11:37,317 --> 00:11:40,698
We had my waffle story. I even sent
them a awesome photo montage.
240
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:43,470
Nothing.
241
00:11:44,481 --> 00:11:45,631
Oh, dear God.
242
00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:49,270
Marshall, we've been
over and over this.
243
00:11:49,395 --> 00:11:51,995
You have to stop
sending those to people.
244
00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:53,520
<i>It was true.</i>
245
00:11:53,645 --> 00:11:55,820
<i>Marshall had become addicted
to creating songs</i>
246
00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:58,717
<i>and photo montage is documenting
various mundane events.</i>
247
00:11:59,189 --> 00:12:01,142
<i>So for months,
all of Marshall's friends and</i>
248
00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:03,679
<i>professional colleagues
were getting e-mails like this...</i>
249
00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:06,535
<i>Ordered Chinese food today</i>
250
00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:10,123
<i>Some moo shu pork sauce got away</i>
251
00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:12,896
<i>Flipped the cushion</i>
252
00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:15,667
<i>Now everything's okay.</i>
253
00:12:19,355 --> 00:12:22,089
<i>Cat-sitting for Lily's mom</i>
254
00:12:22,728 --> 00:12:25,398
<i>Cat-sitting for Lily's mom</i>
255
00:12:26,014 --> 00:12:27,602
<i>It's gonna be fun</i>
256
00:12:27,727 --> 00:12:30,817
<i>It's gonna bring us all
closer together.</i>
257
00:12:33,881 --> 00:12:35,767
<i>Cat funeral...</i>
258
00:12:37,302 --> 00:12:39,188
<i>Cat funeral...</i>
259
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,735
<i>It was an accident</i>
260
00:12:43,838 --> 00:12:47,120
<i>And not entirely my fault</i>
261
00:12:47,719 --> 00:12:49,961
<i>Cat funeral...</i>
262
00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:57,224
<i>We'll miss you, Whiskers.</i>
263
00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:05,366
I can't believe you sent them
one of those.
264
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:07,409
They think we're insane now.
265
00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:11,205
If I recall, they didn't dump us until
you brought up that Vermont trip.
266
00:13:11,565 --> 00:13:14,435
It was way too early.
First, a boat ride around the city,
267
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,837
then a trip to Vermont. It's a rookie
mistake, and you're better than that.
268
00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:21,549
What about you forgetting to check
the egg timer for charades?
269
00:13:21,972 --> 00:13:24,922
I gave you one thing to do,
Marshall. One thing.
270
00:13:25,664 --> 00:13:26,664
One thing?
271
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,274
One thing?
272
00:13:30,654 --> 00:13:31,504
Really?
273
00:13:32,752 --> 00:13:34,152
I guess that gouda
274
00:13:34,922 --> 00:13:37,022
just walked itself
right through the door...
275
00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:39,976
sliced itself up,
276
00:13:40,656 --> 00:13:43,951
and arranged itself
in a perfect semi-circle
277
00:13:44,279 --> 00:13:45,659
around not three,
278
00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:47,825
not four...
279
00:13:48,788 --> 00:13:49,685
but five
280
00:13:49,993 --> 00:13:53,415
different kinds of sturdy,
cheese-bearing crackers?
281
00:13:55,239 --> 00:13:57,626
You're a sturdy,
cheese-bearing cracker!
282
00:13:59,878 --> 00:14:02,353
Lily and Marshall haven't been
to the bar all week.
283
00:14:02,478 --> 00:14:04,072
They're taking this really hard.
284
00:14:04,197 --> 00:14:06,292
I could listen to this
guilt trip all day,
285
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:08,470
but don't you have to
get back up to the inn?
286
00:14:08,595 --> 00:14:10,393
Who's working the front desk?
287
00:14:10,518 --> 00:14:13,642
Seriously, they're your friends.
You got to go apologize.
288
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:15,640
To your point, Ted,
289
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,772
as an innkeeper,
do you do that cheapy thing
290
00:14:18,943 --> 00:14:21,790
where you only change
the linens upon request?
291
00:14:22,957 --> 00:14:25,320
How much water
is that actually saving?
292
00:14:25,491 --> 00:14:28,579
Robin, you know I'm right. Ignoring
a problem doesn't make it go away.
293
00:14:28,704 --> 00:14:30,371
Usually, it just makes it bigger.
294
00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:31,966
- You're right.
- Thank you.
295
00:14:32,091 --> 00:14:34,329
All that sexlessness
has made you wise.
296
00:14:34,729 --> 00:14:35,979
For God's sake!
297
00:14:36,202 --> 00:14:37,458
Mint on the pillow!
298
00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:39,710
And don't charge for wi-fi.
It seems greedy!
299
00:14:43,504 --> 00:14:45,803
<i>But eventually,
even Barney and Robin had to admit</i>
300
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,051
<i>they owed Lily and Marshall
an apology.</i>
301
00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:51,513
We wanted to say we're sorry.
302
00:14:52,495 --> 00:14:53,849
I wish you had called.
303
00:14:54,414 --> 00:14:57,686
I swear, he was right there
just eating a Belgian waffle!
304
00:14:59,606 --> 00:15:03,066
He can't have enjoyed it as much
as I'm enjoying this gouda!
305
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,071
Listen...
Now's not a good time.
306
00:15:07,351 --> 00:15:08,614
We'll call you.
307
00:15:08,935 --> 00:15:10,365
Wait, we just want...
308
00:15:18,303 --> 00:15:20,544
- Long time no see.
- Have a seat.
309
00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:23,796
{\pos(192,210)}We can't.
We're here with Py and Shea.
310
00:15:24,609 --> 00:15:27,161
{\pos(192,210)}It's just... we haven't seen
you guys all week.
311
00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:29,586
{\pos(192,210)}Maybe all six of us could hang out.
312
00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:32,650
It might be weird.
We're kind of on a double date.
313
00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:35,934
Wouldn't want you to feel
like a fifth and sixth wheel.
314
00:15:36,627 --> 00:15:38,187
Who the hell are these people?
315
00:15:38,883 --> 00:15:40,655
They just moved here from Hawaii.
316
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:43,230
Py is a total foodie
and Shea, well...
317
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:44,973
She's...
318
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,262
Shea... Shea is just...
319
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,938
Anyhoo, we can't stay long.
We're just gonna grab a quick beer
320
00:15:55,063 --> 00:15:58,373
and then take these kooks
for a boat ride around the city.
321
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,667
It sounds like this is
getting pretty serious.
322
00:16:01,053 --> 00:16:03,153
we don't want to jinx it, but...
323
00:16:03,416 --> 00:16:05,214
We kind of think
they might be the two.
324
00:16:11,819 --> 00:16:14,053
- Who needs 'em?
- Not us.
325
00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:24,628
<i>Livin alone</i>
326
00:16:26,465 --> 00:16:29,628
<i>We think of all the friends
we've known</i>
327
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:35,426
<i>But when we dial the telephone</i>
328
00:16:38,158 --> 00:16:39,785
<i>Nobody's home</i>
329
00:16:43,426 --> 00:16:44,689
Two for dinner.
330
00:16:44,814 --> 00:16:46,046
Just the two of you?
331
00:16:48,881 --> 00:16:52,581
<i>All by ourselves</i>
332
00:16:54,858 --> 00:16:56,399
<i>Don't want to be</i>
333
00:16:57,176 --> 00:17:00,700
<i>All by ourselves</i>
334
00:17:01,815 --> 00:17:03,563
<i>Anymore</i>
335
00:17:04,853 --> 00:17:07,924
<i>All by ourselves...</i>
336
00:17:09,186 --> 00:17:10,462
Why don't we call that
337
00:17:10,587 --> 00:17:13,209
weird couple down the hall
from you? You know, with the ferrets?
338
00:17:13,334 --> 00:17:15,604
Maybe they want to come over
and play taboo.
339
00:17:15,729 --> 00:17:17,132
After midnight? No way.
340
00:17:17,257 --> 00:17:19,580
We can't Tabooty-call them,
it's pathetic.
341
00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:26,357
Are you wearing sweat pants?
342
00:17:26,482 --> 00:17:28,708
Maybe. But they're Armani.
343
00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:32,946
Okay, guys, I've got
some bad news for you.
344
00:17:33,071 --> 00:17:35,056
So I'm just going
to come out and say it.
345
00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:36,481
You're a couple.
346
00:17:36,865 --> 00:17:40,333
And no matter how hard you try to
fight it, couples need other couples.
347
00:17:40,458 --> 00:17:42,571
That's why you miss
Marshall and Lily.
348
00:17:42,696 --> 00:17:44,696
And can't you just admit that?
349
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,945
- That was amazing, Lily!
- I know!
350
00:17:52,243 --> 00:17:55,198
When I got that left-hand-yellow,
I was like, "What?!"
351
00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:58,937
- You guys are the best.
- Right back at you!
352
00:18:46,839 --> 00:18:47,876
For charades.
353
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,590
How do we know you two
won't hurt us again?
354
00:18:54,281 --> 00:18:55,342
You don't.
355
00:18:56,405 --> 00:18:58,460
You know what? We have two...
356
00:18:58,991 --> 00:19:01,506
very nice people
up in that apartment
357
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,892
who are perfect for us.
358
00:19:04,235 --> 00:19:05,935
Then what are you doing,
359
00:19:06,356 --> 00:19:08,521
standing out in the rain with us?
360
00:19:09,636 --> 00:19:10,536
Damn it.
361
00:19:10,788 --> 00:19:14,088
Why is there something
so attractive about a bad boy...
362
00:19:14,213 --> 00:19:15,153
and girl?
363
00:19:16,813 --> 00:19:18,663
I think we can change them.
364
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,609
Come here, you two.
365
00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:28,374
We'll never sleep
on the gouda again.
366
00:19:30,154 --> 00:19:33,734
<i>All by ourselves...</i>
367
00:19:36,201 --> 00:19:38,378
I got a little poem for you.
You want to hear it?
368
00:19:38,614 --> 00:19:41,054
- Not really.
- "It was the night before this one,
369
00:19:41,696 --> 00:19:43,383
I had hours to kill.
370
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:47,078
<i>I sat in the tavern,
grading parchments with quill."</i>
371
00:19:47,203 --> 00:19:48,311
With quill?
372
00:19:48,566 --> 00:19:50,480
Barney. It's a poem.
373
00:19:51,948 --> 00:19:54,526
<i>"A busty, young lassie
flashed me a grin.</i>
374
00:19:54,877 --> 00:19:58,490
<i>Her garb said "classy",
but her eyes whispered "sin".</i>
375
00:19:59,704 --> 00:20:01,616
<i>She said, "You're a teacher?"</i>
376
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,243
<i>I said, "Yes, indeed".</i>
377
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:07,119
<i>"I must have you", she moaned.
"I'm turned on by tweed".</i>
378
00:20:08,734 --> 00:20:11,877
<i>With haste we did scamper
to my chamber anon.</i>
379
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,828
<i>We fell to the couch,
and, bro, it was on.</i>
380
00:20:17,224 --> 00:20:20,287
<i>I unlaced her bodice.
Our passions grew deeper.</i>
381
00:20:20,704 --> 00:20:22,463
<i>And thus ends the tale</i>
382
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:25,692
<i>of the Sexless Innkeeper."</i>
383
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:28,862
No way.
384
00:20:29,170 --> 00:20:30,562
You made that up.
385
00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:34,441
Are you coming back to bed,
professor?
386
00:20:39,148 --> 00:20:40,898
God, I love being single.
387
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,159
You ready for brunch
with Lily and Marshall?
388
00:20:46,596 --> 00:20:47,946
What have I done?
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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