Amanda Voll

English 388V
How to write a good first paragraph

Objective: SWBAT
● Write a good first paragraph -- this includes good organization, a good hook, and a solid
thesis statement that ties it together
● Apply this knowledge to their inquiry and position papers later in the semester (and
hopefully take this skill with them throughout their college classes)

Outline of Lesson: I will start off by pulling up a horrible first paragraph and ask the students to
read it. I’ll then ask them what they think of it and where the author may have gone wrong. I can
ask them to make a guess about the quality of the rest of her essay, which will hopefully result in
a negative assumption. Once we discuss where they went wrong, I will give an example of an
outstanding introduction paragraph ( pulled from Interpolations). We can then discuss why this
paragraph is good, and what assumptions they make about that essay. I’ll have them discuss this
amongst themselves in small groups.

Closure: From there, I’ll teach them good ways to structure an intro paragraph and create an
interesting hook. I want the students to start brainstorming their own hook ideas for their paper,
and then peer share to get feedback on them. I’ll stress the importance of a good first paragraph
by reminding them of the assumptions they made on the papers based on the introduction.

Time Estimate: Approx 50 minutes

● 0- 10 - reading and discussing the bad paragraph, i.e. why it’s bad, what do you assume,
etc
○ Emphasize the weaknesses in sentence structure and organization. When you
write your own, choose a very boring (or no) introduction. Students should be
able to tear this paragraph apart.
○ Emphasize what was included (the common mistakes students make) so that the
class gets an idea of what not to do
○ This can be done as either small groups or the class in a big circle, depends on the
students
● 10-20 - reading and discussing the good paragraph, i.e. why it works, what they did well
○ Make sure to emphasize the structure of the paragraph, and how it draws you in.
The good introduction should make you want to read more of the essay!
○ This can be done as either small groups or the class in a big circle, depends on the
students
● 20-30 - teach what it means to write a good introduction, including what are good hooks
and what are not, and how to organize an introduction
 ○ Examples of good hooks include: anecdote, literary quotes, pose a question, set a
scene, interesting statistic or fact
○ Organization is up to the teacher, make sure to cater it to the essay the students
are writing. Personally, I teach a good hook into your thesis statement and main
points.
● 30-50 completing their own hook and organizational structure, peer review of them, and
walk around and give feedback
○ Put them in small groups for this, consider even assigning partners if the class
seems quiet and uninterested

Group Feedback: The students can give each other feedback on their hooks and I can walk
around and talk with them about their ideas. While doing this, I’ll talk with them about whether
or not the lesson was helpful in coming up with a good paragraph.

Resources/Readings shaped lesson: The talk given by Grant Wiggins helped me come up with
this lesson. I’m giving the students practice by allowing them to see the difference between a
good and a bad intro, but I’m also having them apply this knowledge to their own papers in class.
By doing this, they get more of a ‘game’ like approach. They get to apply their knowledge to
their paper in class, not just ‘practice’ using it.

Materials: A bad intro paragraph, A good intro paragraph

● Good introduction, from American Security:Triumphs and Downfalls of the Patriot Act
○ How is it that American citizens have supported, and even allowed the passing of,
legislature that ignores the fourth amendment to the U.S. Constitution? The
Patriot Act, originally passed in October 2001, is one of the most controversial
topics regarding American citizens’ privacy and security. The Patriot Act has
elevated the investigatory power of our nation’s government to a record high.
While this legislation directly contradicts the fourth amendment, it has saved
many lives. The far-reaching powers of the Patriot Act have actually allowed our
country to apprehend many criminals who otherwise would likely have gotten
away with their crimes. The issue at hand is how much of our personal privacy are
we, as American citizens, willing to leverage in return for security, as well as a
much greater question: how much personal freedom is actually worth leveraging
for security? In the words of Benjamin Franklin, one of the founding fathers of
our nation, "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little
temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety" (Moncur). While the Patriot
Act has helped prevent disastrous events in our nation, it is far too invasive and
should be revised to maintain privacy and freedom
● Bad introduction, To be decided
○ Cater your bad introduction to the common mistakes you see in student writing.
For example, if you see many students end with a weak thesis statement then
make that the focus of your awful introduction. If students are writing bad
introductions then choose a particularly boring or unrelated intro.