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Crystal Hernandez

Professor Batty

English 101

10 May 2018

Accepting A Beacon of Hope

In the novel ​Still Water Saints ​by Alex Espinoza we meet a myriad of characters whose

stories are interconnected due to the main character Perla. She runs the Botanica Oshun which

she inherited from Dario and greatly impacts the lives of those who come into her store for help.

Perla is a ​curandera​, a healer. The people of the town trust her actions and believed that she

could uncross hexes and spells, raise the dead and even stop time (Espinoza 3). Although some

may argue that Perla is a strong confident woman, I believe she teaches us , by the end of the

book, that you need to believe in yourself to power through negative feelings.

Negative feelings can be anything from simply doubting yourself. An extreme form of

this is imposter syndrome. In the article ​Overcoming Imposter Syndrome ​Gill Corkindale defines

Imposter syndrome as “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persists despite evident

success”. People with this syndrome suffer from chronic self-doubt, feeling like they are frauds,

and often believe their victories are luck or coincidence. Typical imposter syndrome symptoms

include but are not limited to thoughts like “I’m a fake and I’m going to be found out” ,“If I can

do it anyone can”, “I had a lot of help”, “failure is not an option” and “I made it up as I went

along”. These symptoms come from Melody Wilding’s article ​9 Telltale Signs You Have

Imposter Syndrome.
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Throughout the book there are many instances where Perla exhibits classic imposter

syndrome thoughts. Notably, at the beginning of the book when the narrator is introducing her

“Perla could not do what they said or believed, could not speak with spirits of the dead. She

never could, and she knew she never would. But Dario had said she had el don, the gift… and

there were times she had even believed him”(Espinoza 11). Although Dario (the curandero who

‘trained’ her and left her the Botanica Oshun) has praised her and acknowledged that she has

these ‘powers’ she is still second guessing herself. The quote also states that there were times

that she had believed him, so at one point she had felt as if she had powers and what Dario had

said was right but in that moment in time she felt like a fraud.

Further into the book, Perla is answering a question in one of her patrons book. The

question reads “Who are you, exactly?”, she responds with “That’s a good question…I’m no one

important. Just some vieja who lives alone in a house my husband and I bought … I am someone

who is always trying to figure out who she is. When I was younger, I was a daughter. A best

friend. A wife. An apprentice. Now I’m just Perla who runs the botanica”(Espinoza 66). Perla is

clearly struggling with her identity. She knows who she was before : a daughter, a best friend, a

wife; but without that now she just feels like an old lady who is running the ‘magick’ store.

Perla is trying to find herself because she feels that she doesn’t truly have any powers and that

she has just been lying to all her patrons and all the people who visit the store. If we pay close

attention to the quote we realize that she uses the qualifier “just”. She says “I’m just Perla who

runs the botanica” she doesn’t see herself as the witch that everyone else does. She sees herself

as a plain store owner which greatly discredits all the people that she had helped over the years.
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Although Perla deals with this issue throughout the whole book she starts to resolve it

toward the conclusion. There are many things people with imposter syndrome can do to start the

process to overcoming those thoughts and feelings. In an article Kirsten Weir wrote for the

American Psychological Association she states a few possibilities for overcoming these feelings

including talking to mentors, recognizing your expertise, remembering what you do well,

realizing no one is perfect, changing your way of thinking and talking to someone who can help.

Throughout the book Perla helps a boy named Rodrigo who is dealing with sexual assault and

lives in constant fear of being deported. Towards the end of the book Rodrigo disappears and is

possibly dead. Another young boy, Joey also dies when he is struck by a car near Perla’s

Botanica. I believe Perla’s breakthrough came when she sees people from the neighborhood

gather around the memorial candles they put near where Joey had died. She sees all the people in

town that she had helped and been a part of their lives. Ultimately, she sees Joey’s mom, Angela,

leans in and says “Do you know who I am? … I can walk on water. The dead… spirits and

saints. They talk to me. I just have to listen”(Espinoza 239). Here Perla realizes what she is good

at. She is good at giving people hope in times of crisis and panic. It is in this moment that she

finally accepts herself for who everyone else sees her as. Despite the fact that at the beginning of

the novel she didn’t believe in herself at all, she grew and finally realized that even if she didn’t

feel a certain way people saw her as a healer, as if she had powers. People accepted it because

they had faith in her, and ultimately their faith is what got her to take a step in the right direction

and to own up to who she truly was: a beacon of hope. Even for a mother who just lost a child.

On a greater scale, I am positive there are many people struggling greatly with imposter

syndrome. It is a huge issue that can become more complicated and hinder a person’s life
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substantially. If a person feels like a fraud and they can’t see a way out it could trigger them to

become depressed and possibly even suicidal. These feelings could easily cause a lack of

productivity at work due to feeling like they don’t belong and if they stop being productive at

work it could even potentially cause economic decline. Therefore I believe Perla give us strength

to face our issues and to power through the dark times of self doubt and negativity.
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Sources

Corkindale, Gill. “Overcoming Imposter Syndrome.” ​Harvard Business Review​, 7 May 2008,
hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-imposter-syndrome.

Weir, Kirsten. “Feel like a Fraud?” ​American Psychological Association​, American

Psychological Association, Nov. 2013, ​www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/fraud.aspx​.

Wilding, Melody. “9 Telltale Signs You Have Impostor Syndrome.” ​Inc.com​, Inc., 8 Feb. 2017,
www.inc.com/melody-wilding/9-telltale-signs-you-have-impostor-syndrome.html​.