Rules and Belonging

Fourth of July and Christmas and Easter and Memorial Day and Thanksgiving -
fireworks and gifts and painted eggs and barbecues and turkey. All of these events differ but
remain the same in one aspect - they all create a group setting, and obviously, a halloween
costume isn’t appropriate at an Easter celebration, so what would happen if a clown costume was
worn? Funny looks, mocking, and hushed whispers. It’s strange, but where is that specified? It’s
not; it’s an unspoken rule. Those who ridiculously believe that these unspoken rules and fitting in
are mutually exclusive are delusional, as in reality, group identity is shaped by rules that have no
need to take form as sound because part of being in a group is knowing what to do, and more
importantly, what ​not ​to do.
A universal standard that should be picked up on is the ability to conform to others,
something that strengthens group identity. But some disagree, presenting Lord of the Flies as
their case. They prosecute that these children do not conform to the life they have known, as they
turn savage, but still form a group identity. They say that these unspoken rules such as
conformity have no influence on strengthening bonds. However, they fail to realize that their
conformity is to their own society, the one they created from nothing, and they did this. The
children conformed to the savage natures the others showed, and ​because ​of their conformity, a
group emerged. They left the society of Britain, and instead strengthened bonds through the
unspoken need for conformity. This same conformity emerged peaceably in the society of “Our
Town.” In this simple town, everyone knew everyone. People lived their lives with everyone,
and when a life ended, everyone mourned. This society was as intimate as it gets, but why? What
could this be attributed to? Everyone had one factor in common - they were exactly like
everyone else. The husband went to work, the wife cooked at home, and the children went to
school, and everything was ​normal​. However, like Simone Stinson, a drunkard, when this
normalcy was broken, their place in the community corroded. The silent requirement of being
like everyone else was the base of this community.
But conformity is only one pillar of the unspoken rules that uphold a strong community.
The other is the avoidance of challenging authority. In Wicked, the musical, Elphaba does just
this. She attacks a corrupt authority figure to bring change, and while her motive was pure, this is
not how society saw her. She challenged the head of this society, and in response, she isolated
herself. In failing to live peaceably under the current authority figure, she weakened her
connection to the group until she finally broke off from it. The unspoken rule of not challenging
leadership created this community strength, and when Elphaba broke this rule, she broke her
connection along with it. The main character in “Brave New World” followed in these footsteps.
In the hopes of true equality, the elders of this society forbade long term relationships to avoid
favoritism that disrupts the dystopian need for ​total ​equality. The main character breaks this law,
and this break does not end well for her. By shattering the rules so carefully put in place by the
authority, she challenges it, and she breaks the hushed expectation of going against any
authority. By doing so, she quickly corrodes her place in this society because these unspoken
rules are what tightens a community in the first place.
But what if this was not true? What if communities abided by no rules and there were no
societal expectations? Anarchy. Communities would morph into radical extremists. However,
this is not the case. Groups are able to ​stand ​together because of the silent rules that ​hold them
together.