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Jewish Standard, June 22, 2018, With Supplements
Jewish Standard, June 22, 2018, With Supplements
Jewish Standard, June 22, 2018, With Supplements
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JUSTICE DEPARTMENT TAKES CHABAD’S SIDE IN WOODCLIFF LAKE page 6
INHERITING HISTORY IN TEANECK page 8
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“Jurassic Park: co-starred in the first two the same name. I know
Fallen Kingdom” “Jurassic” pics, has a small that Shapiro’s mother
is the fourth but important cameo. The isn’t Jewish. Her father
sequel since “Jurassic script was co-written by probably is Jewish. As
Park,” the blockbuster COLIN TREVORROW, 41. with most newcomers,
1992 STEVEN SPIEL- Advance reviews are bio details are scanty,
BERG film that posited great for “Won’t You Be My and right now, I have no
that dinosaurs could be Neighbor?” a documentary idea how she identifies in
brought back from about the beloved chil- a religious/ethnic sense.
extinction by using their dren’s program host Fred “Hereditary’s” director
ancient DNA. The Rogers (1928-2003). Mr. and writer, ARI ASTER,
premise was interesting, Rogers’ children’s program a Brooklyn native, is
but what knocked began in Pittsburgh in 1954, known for going out on
everyone’s socks off as its star simultaneously Ted Levine Jeff Goldblum Colin Trevorrow the edge cinematically.
were the astonishing took theology classes at a His 2011 short fictional
computer generated spe- nearby Presbyterian semi- film, “The Strange Thing
cial effects — CGI — that nary. He was ordained in About the Johnsons,”
made the dinosaurs 1963. He always intended was about a model black
come alive on the to incorporate his religious family marred by one
big screen. training into his TV host- nasty secret: molesta-
Reviews for “Fallen” ing skills. tion was going on. The
are mixed at best, but In the Feb. 1, 2017, issue film got good reviews.
many are like this BBC of the “Canadian Jewish Still, Aster, about 30, had
review: “The plot might News” there is an article to respond to questions
be ludicrous and the CGI by MICHAEL TAUBE about about how a white, Jew-
below par, but the latest some of Mr. Rogers’ Jewish ish guy could write and
dinosaur blockbuster is connections. Summarized, direct such a film. He re-
good old-fashioned sum- here, are three of the big- plied that race had little
mer entertainment.” gest. Taube’s article was Alex Wolff Lindsay Mendez Justin Peck to do with the story.
As the last sequel prompted by an award
ended, the island theme (“Pursuer of Peace”) given and even spins a dreidel. listings or make a mental her daughter’s family
Mea culpa
park where the dinosaurs in 2014 by Pittsburgh Con- Had I checked
(3) HEDDA SHERPAN, the note to see it when it be- begins to unravel cryptic
lived has been destroyed gregation Rodef Shalom to further, I would
granddaughter of a Ho- gins streaming.) and increasingly terrify-
and the dinosaurs fend Mr. Rogers’ widow. have found out
locaust survivor, was one I didn’t cover the June ing secrets about their
for themselves in the (1) Rogers’ book, “The that LINDSAY MENDEZ,
of his program’s longest- 8 opening of “Heredi- ancestry. As they find
jungle. As the new film Giving Box: Create a Tradi- 35, who won the Tony for
serving staff members tary.” (My column that out more about their lin-
opens, a long-dormant tion of Giving with Your featured actress in a
— she was associate week was all about eage, they try to outrun
volcano on the island Children” (2000), was musical (“Carousel”), is
director and producer. In ROSEANNE BARR.) Well, a sinister fate that seems
comes to life, threaten- inspired by the Jewish the daughter of a Jewish
October 2016, she said: “Hereditary” got great to be inherited. ALEX
ing to make dinos extinct tradition of the tzeda- mother and a Mexican-
“I had such great respect reviews and now is turn- WOLFF, 20, plays one of
again. The effort to save kah box, which promotes American non-Jewish
for [Rogers’] wisdom and ing into the mini-block- Ellen’s sons.
them is led by charac- savings and philanthropy. father. Since the Tonys, I
his commitment to serve buster of the summer Milly Shapiro plays
ters played by Chris Pratt (2) A prominent “Happy dug out that JUSTIN
children and families in an and the season’s must- Ellen’s daughter. Shap-
and Bryce Dallas How- Chanukah” banner appears PECK, 30, who won the
authentic and meaning- see thriller/horror film. iro, 18, is making her film
ard. The supporting cast early in the 1977 prime-time choreography Tony (also
ful way — so I wanted to It’s probably still playing debut. She won a special
includes TED LEVINE, special “Christmastime with for “Carousel”), has a
do my very best.” (Open- near you. Tony in 2012 for originat-
61 (“Monk”). JEFF Mr. Rogers.” Later on, Rog- Jewish father and a
ing dates vary a great Basic plot: when El- ing the role of Matilda in
GOLDBLUM, 65, who ers talks about Chanukah non-Jewish mother.
deal. Check local theater len (Toni Collette) dies, the Broadway musical of
–N.B.
V
“We are confident that both Valley
alley Chabad in Woodcliff Lake, Chabad as well as the Justice Department
which just celebrated its 18th will conclude that the evidence supports
anniversary, has been trying non-discriminatory actions of the Bor-
to expand for years. After its ough and the Zoning Board,” the email
request for a zoning variance was voted concluded.
down in 2016, it filed suit against the Bor- For its part, however, the Justice
ough of Woodcliff Lake. The case, in federal Department has, in its filing, already
court, has been proceeding slowly. The two reached a conclusion.
sides are now in the discovery process. Its suit alleges that Woodcliff Lake has
Now, that legal battle has been joined by “prevented Valley Chabad from purchas-
a higher authority. ing alternative sites in the Borough over
Last week, the Justice Department an eight-year period, and then denied
announced that it had filed its own suit Valley Chabad’s efforts to expand on its
against the Borough of Woodcliff Lake for current site, thus imposing a substantial
illegally blocking Chabad’s plans for growth. burden on its religious exercise,” in viola-
“We allege that over an eight-year period tion of RLUIPA.
the town stopped every effort by the group The Justice Department alleges that the
to purchase an alternative worship site, and borough has been motivated by religious
then denied it permission to expand on its animus against Chabad.
property,” Attorney General Jeff Sessions “In the early 2000s, the Valley Chabad
told the Orthodox Union Advocacy Cen- community, through conversations Attorney General Jeff Sessions tells the Orthodox Union Advocacy Center’s
ter’s Annual Leadership Mission last week, between Rabbi Drizin and a Borough offi- Annual Leadership Mission that the Justice Department will sue Woodcliff
announcing the case. The case was filed cial, became aware of concerns that its pres- Lake for denying a variance to Valley Chabad.
under the 2000 Religious Land Use and ence would transform the Borough into a
Institutionalized Persons Act. town similar to Monsey, New York,” the fed- townhomes on those properties.” requested by Valley Chabad in its vari-
Mr. Sessions told the group that he was eral suit alleges. “The Borough official asked The seller then canceled the contract, ance application do not present a threat
a senator when the law was passed. “I Rabbi Drizin for a letter that would explain the borough passed an ordinance permit- to any compelling governmental interest
remember that Congress heard testimony how Valley Chabad differed from the reli- ting townhouses, and townhouses were of the Borough.
that although Jews make up two percent gious community in Monsey.” built on the properties. “The Zoning Board did not use the
of the population, they made up more that In 2013, Valley Chabad entered a con- least restrictive means of addressing its
20 percent of all reported zoning decisions. tract to buy another property. “We are purported concerns about traffic, park-
Sadly, that has not changed much. About 15 Woodcliff Lake residents and we do ing, erosion, flooding, and other sup-
percent of our open RLUIPA investigations not want the character of the town to posed impacts when it denied Valley
involve synagogues,” he said. The Justice change,” is how one council member Chabad’s variance application.
The lawsuit, like the private suit responded to news of the planned pur- “ The Zoning B oard could have
that preceded it, alleges that Woodcliff Department chase. The council voted to acquire the approved Valley Chabad’s variance appli-
Lake repeatedly interfered with Valley alleges that the property and eventually did acquire it. cation with conditions that addressed
Chabad’s efforts to expand both by sabo- For its part, the town denies this alleged the Borough’s purported concerns about
taging efforts to buy new properties and borough has series of events. traffic, parking, erosion, flooding, and
refusing to allow zoning variances to been motivated “There is no evidence to support the other supposed impacts, but did not do
expand on its present property.. claim that Borough officials did anything to so,” the federal lawsuit alleges.
Woodcliff Lake, for its part, denies that by religious interfere in the attempts by Valley Chabad The borough attorney disagreed: “The
there is any animus against Chabad. animus against to purchase other properties,” Mr. Dario, issue before us is not one of religious dis-
“The Borough of Woodcliff Lake has in the borough’s attorney, wrote. “In fact, crimination, but is strictly a matter of build-
the past and will continue to welcome peo- Chabad. the Borough has attempted to assist Valley ing size, in that Valley Chabad continues to
ple of all faiths, including Valley Chabad,” Chabad by identifying other larger plots demand the construction of a 17,000 sq.
Ronald Dario, the town’s attorney, wrote in In 2006, according to the suit, Valley that can easily accommodate their needs. foot facility with seating for 400 plus con-
an email to the Jewish Standard. Chabad had contracted to purchase a larger For reasons unknown to the Borough, Val- gregants, on a single family home plot. The
“We have in the past and will continue property in Woodcliff Lake. Then a member ley Chabad has walked away from other Borough’s Zoning Ordinance requires a
to cooperate with any investigation into of the Borough Council raised the idea of projects and failed to entertain the idea of three acre minimum for such a facility. The
the Borough’s policies and procedures. purchasing the property through eminent building on approved locations within the proposed Chabad location is for a property
We maintain that our Borough is non- domain. Valley Chabad canceled the con- Borough, which were in conformity with of less than half the required size. The fact
discriminatory and welcoming for people tract; Woodcliff Lake acquired the property. the Borough’s land use regulations.” that the zoning application required two
of all faiths. In 2011, Valley Chabad was in negotia- However, the federal law suit contends dozen variances shows how ill suited the
“Lastly, we are saddened by the response tions with the owners of three adjacent that Chabad sought the necessary zon- property is for their proposed use.”
of the Valley Chabad in their choice to take properties. After it entered a contract ing variances to expand on their present What’s the likely impact of the federal
this action against our quiet New Jersey to purchase one of them, the lawsuit property. government joining in the law suit?
town, comprised of hard-working people contends that “the Borough expressed After several hearings, and revisions to “Usually it’s an eye-opener for the munic-
of all faiths, that welcomed them into our interest in creating a zoning overlay that their plans, their request to expand was ipality,” Eric Rassbach said. Mr. Rassbach
community. We merely requested that they would include the County Road Prop- unanimously rejected by the Zoning Board. is vice president and senior counsel at the
conform to the rules and regulations as erties and permit the development of But, the lawsuit argues, “The variances SEE FEDERAL CASE PAGE 14
Grandma’s Famous
c h e r r y pi e -
-
s h n es s
F r e
ng
A
Lo
ll r
S um me
W
proud of his grandfather, and he calls the pen — and all
hat must it feel like to open a history book that it represents — “priceless.” He said he recently visited
and read about your grandfather? Or to a silversmith to have a yad inserted into the end of the
take out a book on Jewish history from the pen, which used to hold the quill. “Now I can use it to read
library and realize that it was written by Torah,” he said.
your uncle? Ms. Rous said that his grandfather’s cemetery plot is adja-
Longtime Teaneck resident Bernard Rous can tell us what cent to — possibly at the foot of — Schechter’s plot at Mount
it feels like. His grandfather, Rabbi Elias Louis Solomon, was Hebron Cemetery in Flushing, Queens. “The positioning
an early leader of the Conservative movement — he was was deliberate,” he said. “He did it out of affection.” Indeed,
ordained by Solomon Schechter at the Jewish Theological Rabbi Solomon, who remained devoted to his mentor, deliv-
Seminary in 1904 — as well as a co-founder of United Syna- ered Schechter’s eulogy when his mentor died.
gogue. His Uncle Sol, Rabbi Solomon Grayzel, headed the Rabbi Elias Solomon was born in Vilna as Eliahu Eliezer
Jewish Publication Society and was deemed an authority in ben Shlomo. He immigrated to the United States in 1888
the field of Jewish history. after sojourns in England, Cyprus, and Palestine. Before he
Mr. Rous, an accomplished Torah reader at Teaneck’s was ordained at JTS, he earned a bachelor’s degree from
Congregation Beth Sholom, said he doesn’t know if Jewish City College in New York. After ordination, he headed the
knowledge is genetic or not, “but I think if there are koha- Barnert Memorial Hebrew School in Paterson, was the
nim or levi’im or rabbis in your family tree, it will show up religious leader of Congregations Beth Mordechai in Perth
somewhere.” Amboy and Kehillath Israel in the Bronx, was
In addition to yichus, Rous has stories — and at least one associate rabbi of Kehillath Jeshurun in Man-
souvenir. He owns a filigreed silver quill pen that was pre- hattan, and finally because rabbi of Sha’arei
sented to Solomon Schechter by Dr. Yaakov Nacht on behalf Zedek on New York’s Upper West Side, where
of the Zionist Faction. Exactly what the Zionist Faction is he remained until his death. (The boundar-
remains a mystery, but ies between the newly established Conserva-
that is what was engraved tive movement and the Orthodox world were
on one side of a little knife porous then, so he was able to move between Rabbi Elias Solomon and his wife
screwed into the top of the them with ease.) Libby at their summer place in
pen, presumably to sharpen He was an early president of the United Syna- the Catskills. Inset, Bernard Rous
the quill. The other side of gogue; during his tenure the Women’s League
the quill sharpener reads and the Young People’s League were estab- “read and write a bit. It’s where I got
“‘lo b’chail, v’lo b’co’ach, lished, the United Synagogue Recorder was inspired.”
kee eem b’ruach’ — Ot zic- launched, and plans were made to build the His uncle, as it happened, “had a
aron l’ven erainu, gebor Yeshurun Synagogue in Jerusalem. He remained the organi- reputation for being irascible and short-tempered, but with
ha-ayt, chacham, v’sofer” zation’s honorary lifetime president. In addition, he served me he was the most patient person in the world. Because of
— “‘Not by might and not by as president of the JTS Alumni Association, the predecessor that, when I became bar mitzvah, it stuck with me. I learned
power but by spirit’ — A sign of the Rabbinical Assembly. how to read Torah and I still do.” Later, working with Can-
of remembrance to a son of He also held many roles on the national Jewish stage, tor Kurt Silberman at Temple Emanu-El in Englewood, he
our city, a hero of the pen, a including leadership roles with the America Pro-Falasha learned even more. His family moved to Englewood when
sage, and a writer.” Committee, the American Biblical Encyclopedia, and the he was 2, and he was raised there. His father, Arthur Rous,
“I don’t know if the Zion- Jewish Braille Society of America. was “totally secular. He rarely stepped into shul.”
ist Faction deliberately left Ms. Rous knows all this. But this also was his grandfather, But his mother, the rabbi’s daughter, was another story.
the yud off ‘b’ruchi (my the man who headed the Shabbat dinners and seders at his Dr. Grayzel, who was married to Sophie, Mr. Rous’ moth-
spirit)’ in the quote from New York home for the extended family and who — with er’s sister, also was a JTS graduate. He was born in Minsk, the
Zecharia above, but it is def- Mr. Rous’ uncles, aunts, and parents — “bought a place in youngest of 13 children. “By the time he was born, he was
initely missing,” Mr. Rous the Catskills in Tannersville, New York” (which he called already an uncle,” Mr. Rous said, adding that according to
said. “the other side of the Borscht Belt”). “Every summer, when one story, his nieces and nephew dangled their baby uncle
Mathilde Schechter pre- school was out, from June until the fall, I spent summers on their knees.
sented the pen to Elias Sol- with my grandfather and uncle.” “He was a rabbi for a short time in New Jersey,” Mr. Rous
The silver pen with omon when her husband His uncle — that’s historian Solomon Grayzel — “took a continued. “He was not a patient man and pastoral activities
a yad inserted at the died in 1915. “Mathilde shine to me, and on Shabbat afternoon, after attending shul, didn’t suit his character. He was a scholar and a historian. In
tip was presented to gave it to my grandfa- we would study and he would teach me.” They learned addition to his well-known textbook ‘A History of the Jews,’,
Solomon Schechter. ther because [Solomon Pirke Avot, and Uncle Sol also taught his young nephew to SEE HISTORY PAGE 14
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O
n the first day of the 2018
Apple Worldwide Developers
Conference in San Jose, 5,350
attendees sat down to lunch.
Exactly two of those meals were kosher
by request.
Ordering a kosher lunch wasn’t the only
way in which 18-year-old Aryeh Greenberg
of Teaneck stood out from the crowd at
WWDC, held from June 4 to 8. He also was
one of only 350 applicants to be awarded a
scholarship to the annual event. The other
5,000 tickets — which cost $1,599 apiece —
are granted by lottery.
In fact, it was the second year in a row
that Mr. Greenberg won a scholarship enti-
tling him to a free WWDC ticket, free lodg-
ing, and a free one-year Apple developer
membership.
Nobody knows exactly how many stu-
dents over 13 years old vied for the schol-
arship by submitting an original three-
minute interactive scene on Apple’s Swift
Playground (they’re judged on the basis of
technical accomplishment and creativity
of ideas) and answering written
questions. Rumor has it that the
acceptance rate is between 5 and
15 percent.
“I’ve always been a diehard
Apple fan,” Mr. Greenberg said,
perhaps stating the obvious. “Any-
one who knows a lot about Apple Aryeh Greenberg of Teaneck outside the San Jose Convention Center during
wants to go to this conference.” Apple’s Worldwide Developer’s Conference. Inset, Greenberg in a selfie with
WWDC is where Apple announces Apple chief Tim Cook.
new product releases and updates
for the coming year. Mostly, how- gratefully that Mr. Greenberg had found with ready-to-heat kosher meals; Apple
ever, the conference is a wonder- a genuine mistake in the product docu- only provided lunch.
land for Apple developers from mentation having to do with setting the The young developer, a regular
across the globe. Mr. Greenberg friction of an animated object. attendee of the teen minyan at Congre-
roomed with a 22-year-old Bra- “I love programming and creating in gation Rinat Yisrael in Teaneck, prayed
zilian participant in a dorm at general,” Mr. Greenberg said. “I have on his own each day of the conference.
San Jose State University, about a remote-control airplanes I built with Rather than a kippah, he opted to cover
15-minute walk from the San Jose my own hands. But it’s more expen- his head with an Apple hat, though offi-
Convention Center. sive to make an object. Building some- cials asked him to remove it for public-
“My favorite thing at this event thing virtual is low cost, and you don’t ity photos.
is just talking to the people there,” need a physical workshop.” The publicity truly paid off. On June 2,
he said. “The first day, they brought Earlier this year, Mr. Greenberg Apple featured apps from WWDC 2018
the scholarship winners to Apple’s was captain of the software group of scholarship winners in a special editorial
new headquarters and had an orienta- for developing apps. They may ask the the Lionotics 2 robotics team from the piece in the Today tab of the iOS 11 App
tion for us. We went into Steve Jobs The- engineer for help with a problem they’ve Yeshiva University High School for Boys Store. “I got 6,000 downloads of my app
ater for lectures and they gave us free encountered or point out a possible bug. (Marsha Stern Talmudical Academy) from that,” Mr. Greenberg reported.
AirPods, the wireless earbuds that cost He actually did both in his conversa- who made history as the first yeshiva Mr. Greenberg graduated from high
$160.” He took this opportunity to snap a tion with the engineer behind SpriteKit, high school team ever to qualify for the school on June 11. This summer, he will
selfie with Apple Chief Executive Officer a graphics rendering and animation infra- FIRST Tech Challenge East Region Super- intern as an iOS developer at EventMate,
Tim Cook. structure for animating textured images. Regional Championship. a startup in SoHo. He then will fly to
“Aside from that, the whole conference Mr. Greenberg had used SpriteKit to As a senior, he didn’t miss any school to Israel for a gap-year program at Yeshivat
is sessions and labs,” he continued. “Ses- create his scholarship entry, a short game attend the WWDC because classes already Eretz HaTzvi in Jerusalem.
sions are classes of about 1,000 people featuring an animated Apple Car with a had finished for the semester. Last year, he “My main takeaway from WWDC was a
each, where a team of engineers speaks. bobblehead Tim Cook on top, in which the not only missed classes but also some final lot of new connections,” he said. “I spoke
The coolest part of the event by far is the player uses special features of the Apple exams, with the permission of his parents to a couple of engineers about machine
labs, where you speak to Apple engineers Car to accomplish feats from climbing a and the administration. learning, something I’ll get more into in
one-on-one as long as you want.” wall (level 1) to launching the car to Pluto To get to the conference on time, Mr. the future. And I got to play SwiftShot, a
Mr. Greenberg explained that partici- using built-in rocket thrusters (level 4). Greenberg spent the Shabbat before it in very cool new augmented-reality game.
pants choose which engineers to approach The SpriteKit engineer showed Mr. San Francisco, with Rabbi Joel Landau I’m looking into making an augmented
by checking the schedule to find out who Greenberg something he had been doing and his family, and he headed to San Jose reality multiplayer game; I’m updating
made the particular software they’re using incorrectly, but also acknowledged on Saturday night. He’d come stocked up my Mac right now to start working on it.”
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JEWISH STANDARD JUNE 22, 2018 11
Local
Reading clothing
Local artists exhibit at show where modesty drapes the discussion
JOANNE PALMER
M
odesty — tzniut, to call it by
its Hebrew name — is a spiri-
tual value by which all Jews
are supposed to guide them-
selves (although it is a value that generally
the Orthodox world stresses more than lib-
eral Jews do).
Modesty — tznius, to call it by its more
down-home Yiddish name — is a practical
regulation that governs what Orthodox
women wear, and how they present them-
selves physically in the world.
The Jewish Art Salon has put together
an exhibit called “The Invisible Jew,” in
which 38 artists from around the country,
the continent, Israel, and the world exam-
ine, as the long subtitle tells us, “the lack
of representation of women in Orthodox
media, the circumstances that allowed it,
its consequences, and related issues.”
The exhibit will be in Red Bank (see box),
but two of those 38 artists, Miriam Stern and
Joel Silverstein, are from Bergen County.
“I’ve been doing work around this
issue since the early 1990s,” Ms. Stern
said. She lives in Teaneck, grew up Ortho-
dox, and dislikes labels but now belongs
to both an Orthodox and a Conservative
shul — and is married to an Orthodox
rabbi, Dr. Michael Chernick, so her cre-
dentials are unassailable. “The first show
that I had was at Yeshiva University, and
it was about wigs and covering the body “Tznius Police” by Miriam Stern
(and I give YU credit for exhibiting it).”
But Ms. Stern makes clear that her work “The name of the piece was ‘Double found photographs of some famous “I think that true modesty doesn’t
is not about passing judgment on the Exposure.’ The question was whether (and famously scantily dressed) sing- demand that you walk around hunched
way modesty is defined or enforced — or she was modest. In my opinion, she isn’t ers, actors, and other celebrities. She over, trying not to be seen,” she added.
about anything else, for that matter. “I modest in either.” Even in the side where made a piece called “Tznius Police”; in “And modesty also affects speech. Mod-
just ask questions,” she said. “I don’t ever she’s wearing a long skirt, “she still is that work, “I used a marker to mark out esty is a big thing. It’s so much more than
say that this is wrong or stupid. That is sitting there with her legs spread,” Ms. which parts of their bodies shouldn’t be the length of a skirt or a neckline. That’s
not at all the point. The point is to think Stern said. seen,” she said. just one small aspect of modesty and it
about what it means to be modest. “It’s about who you are and how you “Your attitude, the truth about who should be individually decided.
“Is it just about the length of your sleeve, present yourself,” she continued. “It you are,” is the thing that other peo- “My point is that we should not just look
or does it have other layers of meaning?” is not just how many inches below the ple can see the most clearly. There are
Ms. Sterns remembers a piece that she elbow your sleeve is. women, powerful women, whose power
did in the mid-90s. It shows Drew Barry- “A big part of that exhibit was about can come through to observers no matter
more “sitting in a very provocative way, married women covering their hair, what they wear.”
with her legs stretched out. On the other about the choice between a wig as Look, for example, at the series about
side of the painting, it showed her sitting opposed to a kerchief or a hat,” she said. Beyoncé. If you were to cut out Beyoncé”
in the same way, but with her legs covered In 2015, the artist Jim Shaw put up an — that is, cut out the figure in Ms. Stern’s
up by a long skirt. exhibition in Mass MOCA, the contem- artwork, paper doll-style — “and put
porary art museum in North Adams. “It on the modest clothes” — paper-doll
Who: The Jewish Art Salon, which had nothing to do with tzniut, or with Beyonce’s Miriam Stern-created clothing
includes artists Miriam Stern of Teaneck women, but he used crazy wigs,” Ms. — “I don’t think that she’d be in any way
and Joel Silverstein of Mahwah Stern said. “They were outrageous. I took anyone other than Beyoncé. It’s the way
What: Offers an exhibit, “The Invisible photos of the wigs, and then I revisited she’s standing, and the way she just is.
Jew” the idea of using these crazy, crazy wigs, “It’s about the superficiality of judging
Where: Detour Galley, 24 Clay St., and then I realized that I should revisit clothes,” she said.
Red Bank the part about clothing also.” “If you think that modesty is a value that
When: The exhibit runs from June The wigs’ flamboyant fabulous- should be elevated, both for Jews and for
24 to July 12; the opening reception ness inspired Ms. Stern. She looked non-Jews, it is important to think not only
is June 24 from 3 to 5 p.m. Hours are at the divide between the outrageous- about the items of clothing you are wear-
Tuesday through Saturday, 9 to 5, by ness of pop stars and the behavior ing but how you carry yourself and how
appointment. Call (732) 704-3115. expected of Orthodox women. So she you present yourself to the world. “Tamar” by Joel Silverstein
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Federal Case a long time usually doesn’t have a problem. The mosque In his remarks to the Orthodox Union, Mr. Sessions
FROM PAGE 6 that just moved in has more issues,” he said. A few years announced a new program, the Place to Worship Initia-
Becket Fund, a nonprofit organization specializing in liti- back, the Becket Fund fought for an Albanian mosque tive, which aims to raise awareness about the legal rights
gating religious liberty claims — including zoning matters. in Wayne. of religious institutions under RLUIPA.
“Sometimes you see the municipality say, ‘We were Does a court case guarantee victory? “I am hopeful that, as more people learn their rights,
wrong, we’ll stop that.’ Others view it as this grave insult “They can go either way,” Mr. Rassbach said. “It they will speak out where discrimination exists and pre-
to their dignity and really entrench themselves in their depends a lot on the facts. They tend to be very fact- vent further discrimination from happening,” Mr. Ses-
position,” he said. intensive cases. Sometimes the defendant can say, ‘We sions said.
Mr. Rassbach said RLUIPA cases “come up pretty much can’t allow this for X, Y, and Z reasons’ and they can put Mr. Rassbach said that such education “might head off
anywhere there’s a religious group that’s not as popular forth a decent reason. The local government is put to its a lot of these disputes early on.”
as other groups. The sort of church that has been there proof. It can’t just speculate.” “A lot of these localities do not realize they are bound
by this federal civil rights statute and treat religious
institutions like they do a lot of land use applicants. In a
lot of municipalities, there are some people who enjoy
the power of being able to say no to particular land use
applicants. They’re very unused to seeing this sort of
federal statute come in and say you have to treat this
as something that is specially protected as opposed to a
convenience store,” Mr. Rassbach said.
History
FROM PAGE 8
he wrote a very interesting volume called ‘The Church
and the Jews in the 13th Century.’”
The book, dealing in large part with papal pro-
nouncements that critically altered Christian-Jewish
relationships, required research in the Vatican. “He was
the first Jew allowed into the Vatican Library to study
papal bulls,” Mr. Rous said. “They were all in Latin.” His
mother, Vivian, who had gotten her master’s in Latin at
Hunter College and lived until the age of 102, was able to
help him with some of his research.
Mr. Rous said that his family’s published bios don’t
always match the stories he heard over the years. He
remembers his grandfather — he was 11 when the rabbi
died, in 1956. For example, the Virtual Jewish Library
reports that Rabbi Solomon was born in 1879, but Mr.
Rous thought it was 1878. In addition, “they say he immi-
grated to the U.S. with his family. I believe he came alone
as a young boy to meet his older brothers or uncles.” At
any rate, none of those hardcopy versions record the
more personal family stories.
For example, Mr. Rous said, “When he came on a
boat from Palestine to New York, someone gave him a
banana. He didn’t know what it was. So he ate it — with
the skin.” Another story presaged his grandfather’s
move away from Orthodoxy. “He must have known he
wasn’t going to be so Orthodox,” Mr. Rous said. “When
he arrived at Ellis Island, just coming off the boat, he cut
off his payes.” And he wasn’t old-fashioned. “He had two
daughters, my mother and my aunt. Both had college
educations.”
What else does Mr. Rous remember? He recalls that
his grandfather always said “Guten Shabbes” twice in a
row; that “Grandma Libby,” his grandfather Rabbi Elias
Solomon’s wife, was very short, warm, and jolly. Despite
her autocratic tendencies, we really loved her.”
Mr. Rous, now retired from his position as director of
publications for the Association of Computing Machin-
ery, has much to occupy him, in addition to Torah read-
ing. He and his wife, Sue Grand, maintain a large and
lovely garden. “Sue is a psychologist,” he said. “Her office
faces the garden. She said it’s part of her clients’ therapy.”
A self-taught artist, he also has a studio in his backyard
and is filling up its walls with his drawings and paintings.
Reflecting once more on his pen, Mr. Rous said it
is priceless not only because it is elegant and old, but
also because “It’s like a piece of history. It connects my
grandfather to Solomon Schechter and the Zionist Fac-
tion and the early years of the Conservative movement.
It’s an entire period of history.”
Wayne shul
adorns its
new doors
Rabbi Meeka Simerly, the leader of
SANDY ALPERN
Temple Beth Tikvah in Wayne, hangs
and blesses a new mezuzah on the
doorpost of new doors in the front of
the sanctuary.
Founding and charter members at the celebration included, from left, Irene
Reiss, Helga Bodeen, Lola and Henry Weber, Albert Nahum, and Elaine Adler.
Fred Nagler, principal and director of the Bergen County High School of Jewish
Studies, sixth from right, attends the NAACCHHS meeting.
COURTESY BCHSJS
PHOTO PROVIDED
BCHSJS principal meets peers
at conference of Jewish educators
Fred Nagler recently attended the North the discussion and made suggestions
American Association of Community
and C ongre gational Hebrew High
on how to enhance school programs.
Other sessions included “Managing Teen
NCJW Jersey Hills section
Schools conference in Louisville, Ky. The Stress,” “Preparing Students for College,” installs a slate of new officers
conference focused on understanding “Mussar for Teens,” and online courses
today’s Jewish teens. David Bryfman for Jewish teens. The Jersey Hills section of the National Council of Jewish Women installed its
of the Jewish Education Project led officers on May 24. From left, Jane Levine, Ina Pearlman Laman, Lori Daugh-
erty, Linda Schlagel, Elaine Meyer, Arlene Bernhardt, Sylvia Krauss, Vicki Mono-
loy, Helen Grabman, Susan Amsterdam, Gladys Jacobs, section president Eileen
Janowsky, Leona Sesholtz, Joan Donow, Linda Cohen, and Harriet Berger.
Brightview is bringing
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access to tri-state shopping, from left, Faiz Al-Garadi, Yakov Aronowitz, Dr. Baston, Shmaya Honickman,
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culture, entertainment, and and Reva Efroymson. Standing Alyza Lampert, Seth Spiegel, Nashi Fuchs,
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families observing Shavuot a chance to
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Rockland Community College’s com- people, including family, community
savings. On the Reservoir mencement was scheduled for Shavuot, members, college trustees, administra-
www.BrightviewLakeTappan.com they suggested to senior college officials tors, and faculty, attended the alterna-
Wishing you a sweetyou
Wishing newa sweet
year. new year. that the college hold an alternative grad-
uation ceremony to allow students and
tive ceremony on May 24 in the RCC Stu-
dent Union.
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Workshop features
tolerance curriculum
The Holocaust Museum & Center for Tolerance and Edu-
cation is offering a workshop on the Teaching Tolerance
Curriculum, a collection of K-12 literacy-based anti-bias
social-justice resources at Rockland Community College.
The resources are linked to the Common Core English
language arts and literacy standards and to the Teaching
Tolerance social justice standards. The August 21 work-
Bridget Gabbe Richard Kline Jana Robbins Jordan Sobel shop is hosted by the Holocaust Museum & Center for
Tolerance and Education and will be led by experts from
‘Clever Little Lies’ to play at Penguin Rep Teaching Tolerance.
Registration includes light breakfast and lunch. To regis-
Penguin Rep Theatre, the award-winning professional The cast, under the direction of Thomas Caruso, ter, email Abigail E. Miller at amiller@holocauststudies.org
Equity theatre under the leadership of founding artistic includes Bridget Gabbe as Jane, Richard Kline as Bill Sr.,
director Joe Brancato and executive director Andrew M. Jana Robbins as Alice, and Jordan Sobel as Billy.
Horn, presents “Clever Little Lies.” The comedy by Joe The Penguin Rep Theatre is in historic Stony Point
DiPietro, the Tony Award-winning author of “Memphis” in Rockland County. For tickets or information, go to
and “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change,” runs www.penguinrep.org or call (845) 786-2873. Community garage sale
from June 29 to July 22 in Stony Point, New York. A community garage sale will be held on two Sundays —
July 15 and August 12 — in the parking lot at the Nanuet
Hebrew Center in New City, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.
The shul is at 411 South Little Tor Road (just off exit
Jewish summer education courses scheduled 10 of the Palisades Parkway) in New City. Vendors and
others are welcome to rent a parking lot space to sell
The Jewish Federation & Foundation of Rockland County month, “Hollywood and the Evolving American Jewish their wares for $25 per day. Vendors can bring their own
offers summer Midreshet classes in the adult education Identity” with Rabbi Brian Leiken, on four Thursdays, table(s) or rent one for $5 per day. Profits by vendors are
center, 450 West Nyack Road. beginning July 5 at 11 a.m. theirs to keep, or at their option, they can donate a por-
Courses include “(Israeli) Rabbis in the News” on Thurs- For information, call (845) 362-4200, ext. 130, or go to tion of it to Nanuet Hebrew Center. For information call
day, June 28 at 11 a.m., with Sharon Halper, and next jewishrockland.org. the shul office at (845) 708-9181 or go to nanuethc.org.
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Cover Story
Lily Cohen of Englewood, right foreground, and other members of the dance company perform at the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades.
Gotta dance
Kaplen JCC’s youthful performers span all ages and styles
LOIS GOLDRICH students come from Tenafly, Closter, and have the kids understand that dance is to to baseball,” she said. “But my daughter
L
Englewood, and some take six or seven be shared.” The Israel parade is just one will be dancing.”
ily Cohen of Englewood jazz- classes a week. And if the preponderance example. JCC dancers have visited the Jew- She has been teaching dance since
danced up Fifth Avenue dur- of students are female, there are never- ish Home in Manhattan, the Actors Fund 2000, and became the JCC dance direc-
ing this year’s Celebrate Israel theless plenty of boys who dance there as Home in Englewood, and Mt. Sinai Chil- tor in 2009. Her program is special, she
parade, joining the many thou- well, many in hip-hop, and some in lyri- dren’s Hospital. said, “because the main thing is that our
sands of Israel supporters who turned out cal dance. “We talk to the kids about what we’re five teachers truly care about the health
to wish Israel a happy 70th birthday. Can 18-month-olds dance? The toddlers doing and what we can bring to an audi- and well-being of every single kid. That
“We danced all the way along the route,” do ballerina turns in their baby ballet class, ence,” she said, adding that “art is an doesn’t happen at other dance schools.”
said 11-year-old Lily, a student at Ben Porat Ms. Carolan said. “They’re just adorable. I essential part of life. It brings out the In fact, she said, the school provides a ser-
Yosef Yeshiva Day School in Paramus and love it.” Dance offerings for children a bit beauty, allowing the child to shine with vice that goes beyond dance. In between
a member of the dance company at the older “run the gamut, with classes in bal- both inner and outer beauty.” Next Janu- school, dance, and homework, “there’s
Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly. “I let, tap, jazz, lyrical, pointe, and hip-hop. ary, the company will visit Disneyworld, not always a chance for parents to jump
love Israel and I love to dance, so this was Many students do more than one kind doing jazz, hip-hop, lyrical, and contem- in” and offer the immediate help a child
two of my favorite things together.” of dancing.” porary dance. Students perform a ballet may need. That’s a gap the school can fill.
And, she added, “There was a lot Ms. Carolan’s goals for her students every year — they danced “Swan Lake” “We’re paying attention,” Ms. Carolan said.
of cheering.” extend far beyond any one performance. this year — and all 400 participate at the Tzipora Cohen, the JCC’s chief market-
“It was the first JCC group ever to dance “The most important thing is the joy of annual dance recital, held this year on ing officer and Lily’s mother, echoed that
all the way down the parade route,” said dancing — to flat out love what they do June 10. sentiment. “It’s very welcoming,” she
Allyson Carolan of Dumont, the direc- and do what they love and share it with Ms. Carolan, who holds a fine arts said. “They do a great job building the girls
tor of the JCC dance program. “It was all the community. If you can walk, you can degree in musical theater from the Hartt up. It’s got a different kind of atmosphere
14 blocks — pretty terrific. Crowds were dance. If you’re enjoying what you’re School at the University of Hartford, has — you feel they care about each individual
screaming, clapping, and cheering.” doing, we can make it work.” studied various styles of dance from the girl. Being a shomer Shabbat family, we
According to Ms. Carolan, who has Dance is a performing art as well as a time she was 2 years old, including each of know they’ll never schedule a competi-
headed the JCC’s dance program for the way of becoming involved in the wider the styles she teaches at the JCC. She spent tion on Friday or do something on Shab-
past nine years, some 425 students — rang- community, she added. “The company several years performing professionally, bat. We can participate fully.”
ing from 18 months to 16 years old — are children dance in mitzvah-based perfor- “before settling down and having babies” Lily has participated “in all different
now taking classes spanning all styles of mances all over the area. It’s really impor- (she has two boys and one girl). “My boys types of dances for competitions,” mostly
dance, from ballet to hip-hop. Most of the tant to give back to the community and did hip-hop for a while, before moving on held at dance schools, she said, and “I did
A contingent of dancers from the Kaplen JCC step up Fifth Avenue during this year’s Celebrate Israel parade.
Asylum is different than that of the Eritrean and Suda- to shut down. A
FROM PAGE 21 nese. He feels a sense of belonging in a Jewish large, relatively
neighborhood now. He accused asylum country, while he says that for them, Israel is well-maintained
seekers of “craziness,” though police statis- just a place they have been able to stay. park is across the
tics show that the local foreign-born popula- “For us, there was someone who took care street from the
tion has a below-average crime rate. of us the right way, not like them,” said Shi- bus station, where
Although foreign residents, mostly Afri- razi, 74. “They have care, but we had a home children play on
can asylum seekers, make up a majority of here. We were coming to the land of Israel a swing set and
residents of Neve Shaanan and its surround- to stay.” drug addicts lay by
ing area, they accounted for less than a third Neve Shaanan exists in the shadow of Tel the curb.
of the crime rate from 2015 to 2017. Police Aviv’s Central Bus Station, a concrete behe- The main pedes-
have also beefed up their presence there. moth that seems like it was designed by M.C. trian avenue, Neve
The station responsible for Neve Shaanan’s Escher on an off day. The neighborhood’s Shaanan Street,
area grew from eight police officers in 2010 streets are shaped in semicircles, intended is a row of stores:
to nearly 200 last year — plus 50 border to look like a menorah on the map, and com- There are Suda-
police officers. bine small storefronts with crowded, dilapi- nese and Eritrean
Shirazi, like his African neighbors, is an dated apartment buildings and some new restaurants selling
immigrant. He came from Iran with his fam- gentrified developments. staples from their
ily in 1958, when he was 14. He still longs for They are also dotted with unlicensed home countries.
his boyhood home — “You don’t forget the bars like the one next to the pizza place, Next to them are
place,” Shirazi said — but added his situation called hamaras, that police have been trying barbers, cloth- Yakoub Al-Aldoum cooks goulash in his restaurant
ing shops, phone kitchen. He opened up a fusion Sudanese-pizza place to
shops, and shoe diversify the neighborhood’s offerings.
stores. There are
also some places to send money abroad. throughout the years, a disadvantaged
Brightview. A few stores are owned by old-time population remained here,” said David
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On cover: Ben and Ava Opper at their bnei mitzvah
at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff.
PHOTO CREDIT: JOSH STRAUSS STUDIOS
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Twice as Nice
The joy doubles with twin b’nei mitzvahs
HEIDI MAE BRATT
T
wins have a unique bond. Ask any twin. Whether
they are identical, fraternal, boy-boy, girl-girl,
boy-girl, to have grown together — even before
they entered the world — creates an extraordi-
nary tie that binds. When twins arrive, it is dou-
ble duty from the get-go. It takes at least four
arms and two of everything else — from sets of diapers to
well-baby doctor visits to tuition bills. Raising twins is a
juggling act that families only doubly blessed know. From
the beginning, parents have navigated double nursery
schools, double grade schools, double after-school activi-
ties, double friends, double parties, and sometimes, even
double trouble.
When twins turn 13 (or 12 for some girls), the happy day
arrives when they approach the threshold of young Jewish
adulthood and become a bar or bat mitzvah at the same
time — the twin bnei mitzvah.
On that day, the twin siblings step into the spotlight
Following the service, the Pierces gathered their family Isaac, who loves to code and work with electronics, said
and friends at Regina’s Steakhouse & Grill in Teaneck for he so enjoyed reading from the Torah, which he described
a luncheon celebration. And instead of a stateside party, as “fun.”
the twins chose to go on a first-time family trip to Israel At Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff, May was doubly
this summer. busy, as there were two temple member families that cel-
“We are really looking forward to it,” Michelle said. ebrated their bnei mitzvahs: Ryan and Matthew Kossak
Iris said the highlight of the bnei mitzvah was having the had their bnei mitzvah on May 5, parsha Emor; and Ava
double Torah reading, which gave her and her brother a and Ben Opper celebrated their bnei mitzvah on May 19,
The Pierce family at Temple Emeth in Teaneck. From sense of individuality. parsha Bamidbar.
left, mother Michelle, sister Evelyn, father Edward, “We each had our own thing,” said Iris, who enjoys writ- Natalie and Andrew Kossak of Wyckoff, parents of frater-
bat mitzvah Iris, and bar mitzvah Isaac. ing fiction and participates in Quiz Bowl at school. “Since nal twins Ryan and Matthew, 13, who attend Eisenhower
Jewish Standard S-5
Middle School in Wyckoff, were very proud of their two When it came to the May 19th b’nei mitzvah of Ava and
sons. Their journey to the bima started a good year ago Ben Opper, mother Michele Opper said, “It was so beauti-
prior, as they began studying with the religious school ful. It was really special. We are so proud of them. They
team at the temple, which includes Torah educator Judy were so impressive and did such a great job.”
Ackerman, Cantor Ilan Mamber, and Rabbi Stephen Wylan. Michele is a psychologist with a practice in Waldwick,
“It was a lot of work, and the lessons were longer and their father, David, is the executive vice president of
because it was the two of them, but it was so nice to see CBRE, a commercial real estate firm in Manhattan. The
how well they were doing, and how they were becoming twins have a younger brother, Jake, 9. The family lives
men during this process,” said Natalie, who works as an in Ridgewood. The twins attend the Dwight-Englewood
STOLEN MOMENTS
attorney. Andrew is a writer for the NBA. School in Englewood.
Natalie described the twins as having quite different Michele said that the personality of her twins is like
personalities. That difference played into the theme of night and day. Not only are they boy and girl, but Ben is
the party, which took place later that Saturday at Space into sports and especially passionate about the Yankees,
in Englewood. The theme they chose was “Fire and Ice,” his all-time favorite team. Ava is mature and very social. The Kossak family at their son’s bnai mitzvah at
which carried through from décor to party favors to the She is outgoing and engages in social media keeping up Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff. From left, father,
food that was served. with Instagram, Snapchat, and her friends. Andrew; bar mitzvah Ryan; bar mitzvah Matt;
Ryan, said Natalie, is sweet, but more reserved (Ice) mother, Natalie.
than his more outgoing brother (Fire). And because the
boys have such different styles, and are engaged in differ- such as meal stations, music options, and gift giveaways. For
ent interests and activities — Matt is into baseball, soccer instance, there was a basketball station where guests could
and other sports; Ryan enjoys cooking, the culinary arts As I watched them on the bima, “pOPP a shot.” There were food stations featuring “whOP-
Pers.” There was the rap song with the lyric “You down with
and 3D printing — the theme was a fitting compromise.
Still, Natalie wondered how to handle different aspects
all the competition of siblings OPP,” and there were shirts that were unstOPPable.
of the party with her twin sons. For instance, what to do melted away. I just saw my When Ava and Ben entered their party, they were guided
in by the dancers atop a float with a big O.
about the traditional mother-son dance?
“How were we going to do this?” she asked. Problem
beautiful children sharing Said Ava about sharing the bnei mitzvah with her
was solved through creative choreography. Ryan got to this spiritual experience. brother: “It was great having someone to go through it
with. I think our biggest challenge was, because we are so
dance with mom first, followed by Matthew. And then the – Michele Opper
JOSH STRAUSS STUDIOS
three of them danced together. Finally, Andrew joined in different, finding the theme. In the end, I think we both
for the spirited number. were very happy.” said Ben, “I especially liked when we
“It really worked out, and it was a lot of fun,” she said. And like other twin siblings with different personalities were learning, and if one of us didn’t know something, we
Another question: The candles. They weren’t going to and interests, coming up with a theme for the party, which could ask each other and figure it out.” said Michele, “The
have 26 candles (double 13), so they settled on 18 for the took place at Preakness Hills Country Club in Wayne, was best part of the bnei mitzvah was watching Ava and Ben
candle lighting ceremony. no easy task, said Michele. do it together and manage the process. As a mother, all
“It was an amazing experience to share the bar mitz- With the help of a party planner, and a bit of creativity, the fighting and competition that goes on between siblings
vah with my brother,” Matt said. “It was very cool. We the theme they came up with played on the family name: just melted away. I just saw my beautiful children sharing
both worked very hard. If one of us messed up, the other Opper. It was most fitting as the Opper name is significant this spiritual experience.”
was very positive. We leaned on each other. I think my in their community. The Addison M. & Elizabeth Opper Helping to get them to the bima was Cantor Ilan Mamber,
brother had my back.” Said Ryan, “Sometimes it was Religious School at Temple Beth Rishon is named for Ava who had worked with both the Kossak and the Opper twins.
hard, and sometimes it was easy. We had our individ- and Ben’s great-grandparents. A veteran of Temple Beth Rishon, Cantor Mamber joined
ual roles because we split the parsha. It was good to be “It was challenging to try to find a compromise between the temple in June 1987. In his 31 years, the Israeli-born Can-
united and do things together, and it was also good to them, but we did it,” said Michele. tor Mamber said he has trained at least a dozen sets of twins,
be an individual.” “O-P-P” was used as a pun in as many places as possible, and one set of triplets.
“In general, the main thing is that I want to give the stu-
dents a very positive feeling, not only to learn the material
but to feel good about doing it.
“When it comes to students who are twins, what I do is I
try to find a balance and see how they relate to each other
for the best teaching technique. Sometimes students are
more competitive. Sometimes they work very well together.
So I think about whether it is best to teach them together or
individually,” Cantor Mamber said.
Then Cantor Mamber has to gauge their musical abilities.
“Sometime it is difficult to sing together so I may have to
change the key of the music. We practice to make sure that
their voices and tempo meshes.
“With both the Kossak and Opper twins we initially
started out together, and into the process, I saw them
individually because they were working on different
liturgical material and different prayers. It made sense
JOSH STRAUSS STUDIOS
Mitzvah money
Savvy strategies for gifts of cash
HEIDI MAE BRATT There are financial institutions in our area that offer
plenty of youth services to help invest that mitzvah
W
hether it’s a multiple of 18 for chai (life) or a sav- money.
ings bond, cash is always a welcomed gift for For instance, Greater Alliance Federal Credit Union, a Parents need to teach their
the bar or bat mitzvah.
A mother tells a story about her young son
full service financial institution for 80 years, offers youth
savings and checking accounts to help youngsters, and bar
children smart financial
who wanted to buy a toy, a toy that she said she couldn’t and bat mitzvah young men and women, start saving with habits, and the bar and bat
buy for him.
“Just go to the bank and they’ll give you money,” the boy
no fees or minimum balance requirement.
While owning a first car may be a few years away from
mitzvah is a good time
said to his mother. It was then that she realized that it was the bar or bat mitzvah, Greater Alliance Federal Credit to think about how to teach and
time to explain where money comes from. Parents need
to teach their children smart financial habits, and the bar
Union also offers a First Time Auto Buyer Program to help
young adults buy a new a car if they don’t have any credit
make savvy strategies for the
and bat mitzvah is a good time to think about how to teach established. gifts of cash.
and make savvy strategies for the gifts of cash. “It is important to get youngsters involved in money
Money experts say it’s a great time to introduce your matters because as a financial institution it’s our mission prepared to handle bigger financial decisions through dif-
child to savings vehicles that could earn interest, such to help the younger generation become better stewards of ferent stages of life.”
as savings bonds and certificates of deposit. Search for a managing their money,” said Sheryline Ingersoll, a market- In addition to offering various financial products, the
compound interest calculator online and show your child ing manager at Greater Alliance Federal Credit Union. “If credit union hosts lunch and learn opportunities at vari-
how just $1 can grow with interest over time. we can provide them with the right guidance they will be ous organizations and online webinars where anyone can
O
ur youngest son had just celebrated before your very eyes.
his bar mitzvah, and I was recover- My symptoms became acute as the weeks
ing from a case of Post-Bar Mitzvah counted down to The Big Day. The following
Stress Disorder. This is a seriously diary entries explain why:
underreported malady, yet shockingly, the Five weeks before the bar mitzvah:
government has yet to allocate a single dol- The invitations arrive, but the envelopes
lar to research. won’t seal shut. Wrestling the envelope
Post-Bar Mitzvah Stress Disorder (PBMSD) flaps down with a hot glue gun for six
usually follows a case of Pre-Bar Mitzvah hours eventually does the trick. I fail to
Stress Disorder, characterized by speed- pare down guest list. Like a powerful Hol-
dialing your caterer several times daily until lywood party hostess, I withhold a batch
you actually hear him chewing antacids of B-list invitees, pending the acceptance his speech at 90 miles an hour. Is it too accepted! Cannot decide about B-list. Send
while you speak; zipping around frantically rates of other guests. late to hire a speaking coach? to all anyway.
on errands, leaving you only enough time Four weeks and counting: Son is still Three weeks: Response cards arrive Two weeks: While meeting with caterer,
to eat large brownies in the car (perversely, growing too fast to buy the suit. He prac- each day, many including checks. Son dis- son insists on a dinner menu of corn dogs
this still causes weight gain); and bursting tices his Torah chanting each night, per- covers that happiness is a positive cash flow! and pasta. Fortunately, few 13-year-old boys
into tears with no warning because your fecting the reading. But the boy will give An alarming 90 percent of invitees have are on the South Beach Diet. Musician nags
me with repeat calls, urging me to hire his entire orchestra. most people to hear. Sometimes, nagging pays off! In his he continues his deployment into manhood, standing a little
I repeatedly refuse, reminding him this is not a presidential speech, he thanks his father for taking him to Dodger games; taller, his face and body becoming ever thinner. The next
inauguration; it’s just a bar mitzvah. me for correcting his grammar. He is in his glory, and I am in time I see his chubby cheeks, they’ll be on my grandchil-
One week and a half away: Son still practices speech mine, even if my dress is too tight. dren. I am wildly happy that he is not embarrassed to say,
faster than a major league pitch. Consider speech printouts Four days later: The party goes smoothly. Some com- “I love you, Mom.”
on each seat? puter glitches make the music intermittent, and the silences I am also nearly wildly happy that my keys finally turned
Seven days away! Musician, magician, and caterer all are hard to explain. Several people wander into the hall, fill up — in the backyard. My symptoms of Post-Bar Mitzvah
need deposits. Consider asking son for loan. plates with food, and leave. I have never seen these people Stress Disorder are dissipating at last. Mazal tov!
Six days: Should I get a new dress? I had planned to lose before in my life. The desserts are a big hit, especially the
10 pounds for the occasion, but failed to take necessary brownies. I could have told them that. Keys still MIA. Judy Gruen is a writer and editor who specializes in humor. Her
actions. Decide to wear ivory colored spring suit, which still Five days later: My son’s 15 minutes of fame are over, memoir “The Skeptic and the Rabbi: Falling in Love With Faith”
fits. The fraud detection department of my credit card com- and he is returning to life as a mere mortal. And each day, is available. Visit her at www.judygruen.com.
pany calls to warn me of an unusual amount of activity on
my account.
Five days: Must get son’s suit now. Even if he grows
another two inches this week, it will still fit. Son finds all for-
mal shirts in the store too scratchy. I snag a hand-me-down
I
but also allowed them to pursue a passion able to help you find one). Their musical
n my synagogue, each young woman works and what doesn’t in engaging kids they actually care about. Your child might inclination can help them to pick up the
and man has an opportunity to write and teens in meaningful Jewish practice. need a little help in finding a great oppor- tunes. Other students may enjoy learn-
their own prayer as part of their b’nei Here are five tips to helping you and your tunity, but they should have a strong voice ing the language, or have an easier time if
mitzvah service. Most of my friends child create a bar or bat mitzvah experi- in what project to do. they also have an English translation to tell
spoke about health and happiness, and ence filled with meaning and connection. them the meaning of each word.
their passions for soccer, drawing, or see- Practicing trope
ing their friends. After thanking God for my Find a mitzvah For many American Jewish teenagers,
family, I talked about becoming a madricha, project with passion It’s not just a
learning Hebrew is difficult enough, not to
a teaching assistant in the Hebrew school, At my synagogue, the b’nei mitzvah stu-
fashion accessory:
mention the addition of trope, the melody
and a member of the youth group board. dents sign up for a project that is organized to which the Torah is chanted. Your child’s choosing the tallit
I understand that I’m a little strange in by the adult leadership. Once a month, tutor will be the best resource for how to Finding a perfect outfit for the big day is
this sense. groups would go ice skating with Special learn and practice, but each student is important, too. It should fit right, feel com-
Usually, parents beg and nag their kids Olympics participants or read with kinder- different in their learning style and their fortable, and make your child feel confi-
to attend a Jewish learning class, not the garteners in an afterschool program. My motivation to practice. Sometimes they dent. And of course, they’ll also need a tal-
other way around — especially around the group made large batches of chicken soup will simply need a practice chart with stick- lit. For some, the prayer shawl they wear
time of bar and bat mitzvahs. As a current and decorated cards for congregants who ers (potty training de ja vu, anyone?). But is one of great sentimental and familial
freshman in college who’s done just about were experiencing joys or sorrows. It was before it becomes a point of contention, SEE TIPS PAGE 13
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Tips
FROM PAGE 10
value. If your child feels connected to an elder relative or
parent and wishes to wear the tallit that was theirs, that is
a wonderful choice.
If your child is like me, they will want something that
is new, with some hint of personality. Tallits and tzitzit
— the knotted fringes hanging from each corner — are
sold at many synagogue gift shops and Judaica bou-
tiques. Just make sure that throughout the process, you
hear your child’s voice. They may need a parent’s guid-
ance toward a pattern that will be appropriate through-
out their life (steer away from a skull and crossbones
design…), but the final decision must be theirs. Mine
was cream colored with small pink daisies on each end.
Simple with a touch of femininity, and it distinctly fits
with my personal style.
Meaningful projects
How to find one that fits
RANDI MAZZELLA lives (preparing for their bar/bat mitzvah, secular school through to the end. My younger daughter wanted to
homework, after school activities and commitments), become involved in a friend’s at home program which
P
reparing and planning for a bar or bat mitzvah is completing a mitzvah project can seem overwhelming matches volunteers with children with special needs. It
an exciting time for both the child and the whole for pre-teens and their parents. is a very rewarding volunteer opportunity, but it is also
family. Our family has gone through the pro- one that requires a time commitment beyond the bat
cess twice and is embarking on this journey for Here are six ways to make mitzvah year. I explained to my daughter that this child
the third, and last, time with my son. As a parent, it is the mitzvah project less daunting might become attached to her, and that the family would
incredible the amount of love and pride you feel watch- rely on her. It would be unfair to take on the commit-
ing your child shine at this significant milestone. Don’t think of it as a “project” ment and then stop volunteering if her life got too busy.
Along with leading a service, most temples also The idea of a mitzvah project is to be a starting point in She understood and worked with the child and his fam-
include a mitzvah project as part of this important rite a lifelong journey of tikkun olam, fixing the world. Don’t ily for two years.
of passage. My daughters had this requirement and my think of the mitzvah project as something that your child
son will also need to complete a mitzvah project. needs to “get done” or cross off the list. Instead, think of It does not have to be completed by their bar/bat
With everything else going on at this time in their the mitzvah project as the first of many ways your child mitzvah date
will continue to make the world a better place through- My older daughter’s bat mitzvah was in the fall, but we
out their life. all agreed that it was just too chaotic at that time to also
put together the charity walk. Instead, we picked a date
Pick something meaningful several months after her bat mitzvah in the late spring
Choose a project that your child is really passionate when she would have more time to devote to the proj-
The Best Selection of about. There are so many valuable ways to help the ect. She discussed the walk in her speech at the service
Talliot and world, ranging from raising money to hands-on volun- and invited everyone there to attend. Once her bat mitz-
Kippot anywhere. vah had passed, she had plenty of time and energy to
teer opportunities. Spend time discussing with your
Exquisite Styles
child the causes that he finds most meaningful. It can focus on the walk.
for Women, Men,
Bar and Bat Mitzvah
Mention this ad for Make an impact — big or small
Don’t worry about the scope of the project. Great mitz-
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Beautifully Beaded, Crystal, Don’t worry about the scope of nificant gestures of kindness.
My older daughter’s walk started out as a small idea.
Crocheted, Suede, Lace
Kippot, Tallit Clips
the project. Great mitzvah The goal was to raise money and awareness for a dis-
projects range from ease and also to remember a wonderful little girl who
had touched so many people in her short life. My daugh-
Lisa Prawer
Convenient Bergen County Location · 201-321-4995
huge undertakings to small ter never thought that this walk would wind up attract-
www.thetallislady.com · info@thetallislady.com significant gestures ing people from all over the state who had also been
impacted by this disease. We decided to make it an
of kindness. annual event, and this will be the ninth year. The money
and awareness it has raised is truly changing lives by
Cantor be something personal to them (such as volunteering funding valuable research. And it was all started by a
Barbra at an animal shelter or raising money to fight a disease 13-year-old girl.
As for my younger daughter, her one-on-one time
Lieberstein
0002441714-01.qxd 10/15/08 5:09 PM Page
that has directly impacted them or a loved one) or for
1
the community as a whole (working at a soup kitchen or spent with a child with special needs was very reward-
ing. She saw firsthand the difference she could make for
Certified Cantor with collecting clothing for a homeless shelter).
My oldest daughter decided to organize a charity walk a child and for their family by just devoting a few hours
12+ years of pulpit MAGAZINE AD
BAR & BAT MITZVAH in memory of a classmate who had passed away. Her
0002441714-01
of her time. She also found out that she really enjoyed
working with children with special needs so in high
Lessons in experience
your home friend died from complications from Spinal Muscular
school she continued to work with Friendship Circle in a
Learn to read Hebrew LIEBERSTEIN,
Atrophy (SMA), BARBRA
so we contacted an organization that
program that required less of a time commitment called
Fri, Oct 24, 2008 to her family in dealing with the dis-
had been helpful
Learn to Torah Circle. This drop-off program in Livingston allows
read Hebrew Group and1 cols,ease.
2.13Cure SMA suggested a charity walk in her friend’s
x 2.50"
memory, so that is what my daughter decided to do for teen volunteers and children with special needs to enjoy
private lessons
Process Free
her mitzvah project. a Sunday morning of baking, art, and music.
Adults in your home
Lisa Spadevecchia
My younger daughter knew she loved working with
too Parent PaperFor her mitzvah project, she chose to work
children.
Get family involved
According to Jewish law, your child is now an adult.
Cantor Barbra
Officiant at Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremonies, Carinewith The Friendship Circle (FCNJ) of Metrowest, located So let your child take the lead on the mitzvah project.
in Livingston. FCNJ has a wide variety of volunteer
201-818-4088 opportunities for teens who want to work with children
They will get the most out of it if they feel like it is truly
Baby Namings and Weddings their project. For your part, give guidance, support, and
___ ArtwithDirection
special needs.
Cell: 201-788-6653
Officiant for Baby Namings
_X__ Be
E-Proof
encouragement. Praise their efforts and let them know
e-mail: cantorbarbra@aol.com honest about your commitment how proud you are of them for helping to change the
Certified Cantor with 12+ years world, one mitzvah at a time.
www.cantorbarbra.com
of pulpit experience Don’t let your child take on a project that he cannot see
Kveller.com, the parenting website.
___ OK AS IS
___ OK W. CHANGE
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‘Blessing of Enough’
Starts with Gaining Gratitude Attitude
Slovie Jungreis-Wolff Don’t even think about inviting them!” recognize each gracious act of giving and here — the presence of parents who live
She stomped to her room and realize that every deed deserves thought- with the motto of Dayenu in their own
D
id you ever notice how so many slammed the door, leaving her father hurt ful appreciation. We don’t take anything lives. When children hear their mother or
children seem unhappy today? and perplexed. for granted. We stop and contemplate the father constantly commenting on other
No matter how much they “I try so hard,” he said to me. “What is blessing of enough. people’s homes, enviously recounting the
have, no matter how hard you try to give she thinking? Doesn’t she see how much I I received an incredibly long list that way others vacation, or having conversa-
them, they never seem content. They sweat to make a buck?” had been drawn up for this 13 year old. tions about the expensive clothing and fur-
should be the happiest kids who ever How do we combat the unhappiness? Here’s part of the list: niture that their friends seem to have, we
lived. They have traveled to islands, gone Of course there are many reasons our are implanting the ugly roots of discontent
jeeping through the deserts of Israel, children act miserably. You can say it is • We have a beautiful home. and unhappiness in our children’s hearts.
swam with dolphins, but still, there is a awful chutzpah, too much stuff, absence • We rent a lovely summerhouse in a How can we teach the blessing of
sense of discontent. of parental involvement, or deficient dis- gorgeous neighborhood. enough when our days are spent wanting
There are children who have iPhones, cipline. Others will say there is not enough • We have traveled to Israel. more and more?
iPads, American girl dolls, and basements one-on-one time, children who do not feel • We have traveled to Paris. Unfortunately, these parents spent
filled with toys. Summer brings talk of really accepted, a lack of self-esteem or • We have traveled to Italy. many hours bickering. But it is not only
sleep away camp, shopping with long lists just plain arrogance. • We have gone skiing in Utah. financially that we come up short in our
in hand or planning trips to faraway plac- We mistakenly believe that the more • We eat in delicious restaurants. minds. Somehow, in every conflict, this
es. Even with the difficult economic situa- we give, the happier they’ll be. Wrong. • We have gone to Miami every Chanu- husband and wife each felt unappreciat-
tion, the reality is that we would rather do But at the root of the misery lies a kah vacation since you were a baby. ed. Both expressed frustration that their
without ourselves than have our children basic glaring lack of gratitude. When chil- • We have celebrated your bat mitzvah spouse was not doing their share.
feel as if they are lacking. dren are not cognizant of their blessings, with an amazing party. If I am always concentrating on what
I spoke to a father recently. He said they do not begin to recognize how much • We have sent you to sleep away camp my spouse does not do instead of recog-
that each summer he rents a home for they have. They overlook the good, both since fourth grade. nizing the good that he does, I end up de-
his family in beautiful surroundings. It is the big and the small, and they grow more • We have a loving family. stroying any potential for joy that I may
a neighborhood where some people buy entitled with each day. • We have grandparents who cherish us. have. My life becomes filled with nega-
lavish homes, others rent. Even though he We mistakenly believe that the more • We have good health. tives and I grow bitter and unhappy.
has always enjoyed their summer place, we give, the happier they will be. Let us take the lesson of Dayenu to
his13-year-old daughter made it clear that Wrong. Instead, it is the more they After each line, the father wrote Day- heart. It is time for us all to contemplate
she was unhappy. appreciate, the happier they will grow. enu. And then he explained to this child the blessing of enough.
At 2 a.m. she decided to have I explained to this father that it is who had been blessed with more than she
a meltdown. time he sat down with his daughter and had ever understood (and more than most Slovie Jungreis-Wolff is a teacher, author, rela-
“I am ashamed of the house we stay in introduces her to the concept of ‘Dayenu.’ could ever imagine) that it was time to tionships, and parenting lecturer. She is daughter
every summer,” she cried. “All my friends On Passover we recount all of God’s many appreciate the blessings of that which we of the late Rebbetzen Esther Jungreis. She is also
have much better houses. Why can’t we? kindnesses. After each kindness we pause have, instead of focusing on that which the author of “Raising A Child With Soul”
If we take this same house as always I and say: “Dayenu — it would have been we think that we are missing in life. (St. Martin’s Press).
don’t want any of my friends coming over. enough for us!” We are encouraged to There is one more missing link Aish.com
Cresskill Performing Arts ern ballet summer intensive Aug. 13 to Aug. kids leap way ahead — whether they started The Therapy Gym
300 Knickerbocker Road #1100 17. Register or get more information through out far behind or are looking for enrichment. 205 W. Englewood Avenue
Cresskill, NJ 07626, 201-390-7513 the “summer” button on the home page. Mathnasium has transformed the way kids Teaneck, NJ 07666, 201-357-0417
www.cresskillperformingarts.com have leaned math for over a decade. www.thetherapygym.com
Growing Smiles Pediatric Dentistry
Cresskill Performing Arts is offering a fun- NJ Eye and Ear Pediatrics The Therapy Gym is a comprehensive pedi-
105 N. Dean Street
filled, skill-filled creative camp for young- atric facility offering physical, occupational,
Englewood, NJ 07631, 201-608-5114 71 Grand Avenue
sters. The Born to Perform Camp, June 25 to speech, aquatic, and behavioral therapy to
www.growingsmilesnj.com Englewood, NJ 07631, 201-408-4441
Aug. 24, has tracks for all ages with a maxi- ages 0-21 years old. All of the therapists at
We are a state-of-the-art pediatric dental 1016 Main Avenue, Unit 2B
mum of 12 students per age group: Preschool The Therapy Gym specialize in pediatrics and
practice. Dr. Eytan Chen, our awesome pedi- Clifton, NJ 07011, 973-546-5700
Performers Summer Camp for 3 to 5 year treat children with neurologic, chromosomal,
atric dentist, is a graduate of Harvard Dental www.njeyeandear.com
olds offers jazz and ballet, basic gymnas- and genetic disorders. Our physical therapists
tics, creative movement, and music, rhythm School. Our office is a lot of fun with iPads NJ Eye and Ear is a modern, multi-specialty specialize in global developmental delay, tor-
instruments, and art projects. Creative Chil- and magna tiles to play with. Our practice eye care provider with offices in Clifton and ticollis, hypotonia, hypertonia, balance dis-
dren Summer Camp for 6 to 8 year olds fea- serves infants through adolescents, and wel- Englewood, NJ. We strive to provide an un- orders, gait abnormalities, and orthopedic
tures jazz, ballet, tap, hip-hop, acting/theater comes children with special needs. Dr. Eytan paralleled eye care experience to each of our injuries. Our occupational therapists special-
games, improv workshop, arts & crafts, fenc- and the entire staff are warm and caring. patients. Our passionate team comprises ize in sensory integrations disorder, reflex in-
ing, silks & hammocks, gymnastics and more. Both you and your children will be happy you medical and administrative professionals who tegration, vestibular and visual motor disor-
Preteen/Teen Exploring Artists for 9 to teens came to Growing Smiles Pediatric Dentistry. seek innovative ways to ensure functional- ders, fine motor strengthening, handwriting,
offers jazz, ballet, acting/theater games, im- Parking is easy and right in front of our door. ity and efficiency com-bined with thorough and social-emotional difficulties. Our speech
provisation workshop, modern, tap, hip-hop. and compassionate care. Our organization is therapists specialize in oral motor weakness,
Mathnasium of Teaneck progressive and learning-oriented. Our phy-
silks & hammocks, lyra, gymnastics, musi- articulation and language processing delays,
cal theater, choreography, fencing, on-cam- 1374 Queen Anne Road sicians and staff are continually improving and feeding difficulties. We bill insurance di-
era technique, and designer arts and crafts. Teaneck, NJ 07666, 201-862-1600 their knowledge of the eye care field. This rectly and process all claims to insurance. We
Guest artists from NYC will offer special
www.mathnasium.com/teaneck allows us to pro vide the most advanced and also offer classes for kids that compliment
workshops. Parents can sign up for one, two Mathnasium is the area’s premier math-only cost-effective care to our patients. Dr. Steg- our therapies.
or more weeks. New this year, there is a mod- learning center. When math makes sense, man is honored to have been selected as one
of New Jersey’s top doctors of 2018.
Eye exams
for summer
camp and
back to
school
D
r. Eytan Chen, the warm and gen- there was no market to buy ko- for Dr. Chen, who remembered
tle pediatric dentist and owner sher chicken. his house was filled with Jews of
of Growing Smiles in Englewood, When the Chens wanted chick- all affiliations and nonaffiliations
has more than his Harvard credentials en for Shabbat for instance, the during the Passover seders that his
that are impressive. Dr. Chen (his name is family would go to a local farm and family hosted.
an anglicized version of the Hebrew word buy live chickens. His father, who “When you’re outside of a place
“chein” meaning grace) spent his forma- had been a rabbi before becoming like New York or New Jersey, and
tive years growing up in the country of Li- an economist, would “schecht” the you live in a place like Liberia, and
beria. chicken in their backyard. Kosher you’re a Jew, the Jews find each oth-
Now a resident of Teaneck, a com- beef was not an option. er and become one cohesive group,”
munity rich with Jewish life, Jewish ame- “My dad knew how to schecht a said Dr. Chen, who lives with his
nities, and many Jewish options, when chicken, so once a month we would wife, Rebecca, a neuropsychologist,
he and his family lived in the Liberian get chickens and he would schect Dr. Eytan Chen and his family. and daughters, Hana, 17, Maya, 14,
capital of Monrovia, their home became them in the backyard. We had a Noa, 10, and Tal, 5.
the de facto “shul” on Shabbat, as there very big backyard. It wasn’t like here in Dr. Chen, the youngest of three boys, For middle and high school, his fam-
was no synagogue. And his late father, Teaneck,” Dr. Chen said. “The chickens attended secular private school in Libe- ily decided it was best to move to the
David Chen, who brought the family to would be cleaned and kashered. He would ria, and his mother, Miriam, who is a sixth United States where Dr. Chen would have
the West African County from Israel be- do it for anyone else who brought a chick- generation Sabra, supplemented his Jew- easy access to formal, Jewish education.
cause of his work as an economist for The en to him.” ish education at home. See Dentist on page 19
S
ummertime and the living is easy, When choosing a protective factor, with an SPF of 30 or higher, looking at presses. If blisters form on the skin, leave
breezy and sunny. It is common she said, look for products that have a la- the specific sunscreen ingredients can be them intact as long as possible. If age
knowledge that excessive exposure bel UPF 30 or UPF 50. UV protection for helpful. The chemical sunscreens can be appropriate, anti-inflammatory medica-
to UV radiation from the sun can create sunglasses is not regulated, so look for irritating to some skin types. Look for tions such as ibuprofen can be used for
serious problems later, such as skin cancer. products with the most specific word- physical blockers, which are “titanium relief — consult with your child’s doc-
It is best to be vigilant when it comes to ing possible on the label, for example, dioxide” and “zinc oxide.” Both of these tor. If a burn is extensive or severe, seek
sun protection, and it’s never too early to “98 percent UVA and UVB protection,” ingredients are broad spectrum. Most medical attention as more aggressive
start good habits. or “blocks all UV radiation up to 400 products labeled as being for sensitive supportive care may be indicated. Of
According to Dr. Tamar Zapolanski, nanometers.” Vague labels such as “UV skin contain these physical blockers. course, avoiding further sun exposure
a dermatologist with the Valley Medical absorbing” should be avoided. Sunscreen Dr. Zapolanski said that sunscreen is important.”
Group in Park Ridge, the most important should be applied liberally. Sun Protec- could be used on babies 6 months and “Teaching young children about the
thing a parent can do first is avoid sun ex- tion Factor (SPF) should be at least 30, older. Prior to 6 months of age, babies importance of sun protection, and instill-
posure during the peak hours of 10 a.m. and the product should be labeled as should be kept covered and out of the sun. ing good sun protective habits when chil-
and 4 p.m. “broad spectrum.” “Beware of sitting under an umbrella dren are young results in the best chance
“Seeking shade when outdoors, wear- For swimming or sweating, use a on a sunny beach or near a pool, as UV of them maintaining these habits in-de-
ing protective clothing and using sun- product that is also labeled as “water rays can reflect from sand/water onto the pendently in the future. It is also very im-
screen correctly are the next lines of de- resistant.” Water resistant products are skin even while sitting in the shade. When portant for parents to practice what they
fense,” said Dr. Zapolanski. “Sun protective further classified as being effective for 40 using sunscreen on babies and toddlers, preach. Modeling healthy sun protective
clothing should cover as much skin as pos- minutes or 80 minutes. Sunscreen should look for products with the physical block- behaviors helps children be compliant
sible. Hats should have a wide brim, and be reapplied every two hours when ers, as they are less likely to irritate sensi- as well.”
sunglasses help protect the eyes. Some spending time outdoors, after toweling tive skin,” she said.
clothing lines and products are labeled off, after swimming/sweating, and should If a child does get sunburned it should Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our
as having a UV protection factor (UPF), be applied on cloudy days as well. be treated symptomatically with cool Children.
E
ven when they were just one Sunglasses — ones that specify pupil that was dismissed by the pe-
month old, Dr. Adria Burrows, a that they protect against UV rays, not diatrician. The parent persisted and it
pediatric ophthalmologist with the cheap flea market finds — are so turned out that the child had a malig-
NJ Eye and Ear Pediatrics, had her two protective to the eye that Dr. Burrows nant tumor.
sons wearing sunglasses as they were recommends children wear them even “The parent often knows when
lying down in their strollers when she in the winter, especially if children are something is wrong,” she said.
took them outside for a walk. outdoors during play or sports. Dr. Burrows said she is seeing more
“People would stop me and ask “The fallacy is that because it is glaucoma and ocular hypertension in
about it,” said Dr. Burrows, who winter and it is cold that sunglasses are children these days, unexplained condi-
practices in offices in Englewood not necessary,” said Dr. Burrows. “But tions that are becoming more prevalent
and Clifton. the sun is still out and there is potential in a younger population.
The baby boys may have looked damage to the eyes’ lenses and retina. She also is seeing more myopia,
pretty cool in their shades, but the “The sun is a major cause of cata- near-sightedness, likely from all the
doctor-mom said she donned them in racts and macular degeneration,” computer, tablet and cell phone use.
sunglasses to protect their eyes from she said. There is new technology for eye-
maladies such as cataracts and macular For youngsters who wear prescrip- glass lenses, BluTech lenses that help
degeneration, eye diseases associated tion eyeglasses, there is always the protect the eyes from harmful high-
with older adults, but which have their option of getting transitional lenses, energy blue light, such as harsh fluo-
roots early on. which darken with the sunlight. rescent lighting, computer screens, and
“Wearing sunglasses is very impor- In terms of eye care, Dr. Bur- personal electronics, which can be an
tant and not just on sunny days, but on rows recommends that children as option, she said.
cloudy days as well,” said Dr. Burrows, young as 4 begin annual visits to
whose sons, now 24 and 21, never leave the ophthalmologist. Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of
the house without sunglasses. “Sometimes the pediatrician can About Our Children. Dr. Adria Burrows with a patient.
Generation G
W
e had two grade but who would be the
school sons at- animals? Our younger
tending an af- son, a first grader, age
ter-school Hebrew program. 7, a fan of the New York
The aleph bet and the holi- Yankees and Star Wars,
day stories were the heart was picked for the un-
of the curriculum, but then likely role of a swan
came enrichment. along with his best
“They’re going to do friend. Their perfor-
the Wizard of Oz,” my mance was so memora-
wife announced. ble that many years later
In my mind’s eye I when my wife and I met
tried to place this story in the dance teacher at a
the Chumash. benefit for a dance com-
“In Hebrew.” pany, she asked, “How
“I wish them luck. We’ll are my swans?”
cheer from the sidelines.” Music and drama
“Not quite,” she said. “I’m in public school can
doing the costumes and the lead Jewish students to
make-up.” the unexpected, like a
“Funny, I thought I heard non-sectarian “Christ-
you say you’re doing cos- mas Carol” in which our
tumes and make-up for ‘The other son landed the
Wizard of Oz.’” part of Scrooge. Some
“Yes, and you’re going of his friends said it was
to help.” type casting.
So began our careers in Of course, the holi-
the theater. We awaited the One of the “actors” made to look the part. day t hat makes t he
casting announcement. Of greatest demands on the
course, one of the 12-year-old girls would loween costume for the Cowardly Lion. the stalwart chorus, again bolstered by skilled make-up artist and costumer is
be Dorothy, but I assumed our boys, ages The munchkins required a distinctive look our two sons. We came to appreciate Purim. One of my wife’s most successful
8 and 6, would also have key roles The that was achieved with rabbit-style ears the theatrical axiom, “There are no small ventures into make-believe was a Purim
Tin Man? Scarecrow? Cowardly Lion? Or and pointed hats. Indeed, they all weren’t parts, only small actors.” costume for our 10-year-old son. With a
perhaps the Wizard, himself? I wondered in Kansas anymore. Of course, the backstage team led by skirt, wig and high-heel wedges, he was
how they would deliver those crucial lines The trip to the Emerald City was just my wife organizing costumes and make- “Tootsie.”
in Hebrew since they had just learned the the beginning of an annual event for the up was critical to success, but not with- Purim costuming continues as a lively
alphabet. Oh well, that’s why we were pre-teen Hebrew classes. The next year out pitfalls. art through the generations. In a recent
paying tuition. it was “Fiddler on the Roof,” again in He- Joseph’s jealous brothers sell him to gathering of grandchildren and friends,
The cast assignments were posted. I brew, with my wife doing costumes and some traveling merchants, which leads Hamen in the form of a masked bandit
scanned the list and found the names of make-up, and our sons in a chorus of to a lively bit of stage business. The mer- was popular, while Esther and Vashti ap-
our boys. They weren’t lead characters, shtetl dwellers and Cossacks. The Jews chants set up a flea market with a stand peared in various incarnations. One young
but they had vital roles nevertheless. They were adorned with payot made from to sell blue jeans. The jeans were contrib- lady was a Mona Lisa look-alike. Alas,
were munchkins. crepe hair and attached with spirit gum. uted by members of the chorus, and as Mordecai was too righteous for mock
The costumer went to work. My wife They wore peaked caps. Some had wispy they buy their own pants they pull them portrayal. And my wife still delighted in
ransacked our old clothes, and called beards, but the rabbi had a luxurious one. on, but one chorus member selected the applying her skills in bringing stage char-
upon other parents to search their poten- A call went out for knee-high rain boots, wrong pair much too small. As he strug- acters to life.
tial give-away wardrobes. The result was into which the hostile Cossacks tucked gled to get the pants on, the audience
a beautiful costumed Dorothy enhanced the bottoms of their pants. bursts into laughter. It was a wonderful Ed Silberfarb was a reporter for the Bergen
with make-up from my wife’s early days The next year the young thespians sight gag that the youngster with the ill- Record in New Jersey, then the New York Herald
as a dancer. brought the bible to the stage with a fitting trousers didn’t appreciate. Tribune where he was City Hall bureau chief.
Dorothy’s three companions were a Hebrew language version of “Joseph and Hebrew School was not the only Later, he was a public information officer for the
challenge — some clown-white on his face the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat.” childhood stage. Our children’s public New York City Transit Authority and editor of
and aluminum foil for the Tin Man; rag- The lead was a demanding role, ably per- school had a lively program for music one of its employee publications.
gedy clothes for the Scarecrow; and a Hal- formed by the rabbi’s son, supported by and dance. Saint-Saens’ “Carnival of the
Shabbat Ices
and Torah The Garb family, from left, nephew
Zalman Weisman, Shneur, Mendy,
Kayla, Ziggy and Rachi.
Mark 13 Years
Heidi Mae Bratt
I
t’s Shabbat. It’s around 4ish in the afternoon. And
you happen to be near Sagamore Park on Windsor in
Teaneck. There you probably will see nearly 200 chil-
dren, parents, and friends gathered for what has become
more than just a big Shabbat get-together. It’s Perek in
the Park.
Started 13 years ago by Teaneck resident Shneur
Garb as a tribute to his firstborn son, Zalmi, who died 23
years ago at four weeks old from a RSV, a rare virus, the
gathering of babies through 12 year olds has become a
convivial “In” place for many enjoying the long Shabbat
afternoon during the summer.
“I couldn’t believe it when I recently got an email
from someone in the community making a bar mitzvah
who listed our Perek in the Park as an activity for their
guests on Shabbos,” said Mr. Garb, who owns The Garb
IT Consulting, which does, among other things, educa-
tional networks.
“That was a very big compliment,” he said.
Perhaps some may know the gathering as “Ices in
the Park” because Mr. Garb buys and brings 200 ice pop-
sicles to distribute to the children.
Starting at 5 p.m. sharp, a speaker addresses the
crowd. Speakers have included community rabbis of all
watershed
affiliations, members of the Bergen County Sheriff’s De-
partment, local doctors, and others. The only caveat for
the speaker is that their talk must be delivered in about
eight minutes.
recreation
“We start at 5 p.m. sharp and then the speaker talks
program
The Watershed Recreation Program is now open from April 1 to
November 30, 2018.
Participants can fish, walk, bird watch, hike, or simply enjoy nature.
Access to 4 reservoirs – Old Tappan, Oradell and Woodcliff Lake in
New Jersey and Lake Deforest in Rockland County, New York.
mysuezwater.com
The Macklin family, from left, Danit, Garron, Tuvya, Temima and
Amitai.
Honorable Menschen
Project of Love
Bat mitzvah seeks kidney for cousin
Heidi Mae Bratt So with a little bit of creativity as
well as some iMovie acumen, Dina, who
D
ina Lebovic has a lot of heart, attends the Rosenbaum Yeshiva of North
especially when it comes to her Jersey and who celebrated her bat mitz-
cousin, who she hopes to help vah on May 27, created the video, which
find a desperately needed kidney. was posted on a YouTube channel. The
For her bat mitzvah project, Dina, 12, clever video is clear, concise, and made
created a rap video to the tune of “Amish with love for Michelle, who lives with
Paradise” by Weird Al Yankovic, which is a her family in Hudson, Ohio, a suburb
parody of the classic 1990s rap hit “Gangs- of Cleveland.
ta’s Paradise.” At its center, the video, which For Dina, who plays the ukulele and
was filmed at school and at home, tells of loves gym, her goal is singular.
the plight of her cousin, Michelle Tarczy, a “I hope that people will watch this
41-year-old mother of two young children video and this will get a match for Mi-
who suffers from polycystic kidney disease. chelle,” Dina said.
Ms. Tarczy, who is the first cousin Said Michelle on her Facebook page:
of Dina’s mother, Chaya, had received a “The physical effects from dialysis are
transplant from her husband to head off numerous. While I am on the machine
the hereditary disease. But after a week, I get extremely dizzy, exhausted, nau-
the kidney failed, and because she had seous and brain fog. When I get home
both kidneys removed, Ms. Tarczy is left from dialysis I go straight to sleep for a
with no kidneys. She needs to have dialy- few hours. When I wake up I am still ex-
sis three times a week, said Chaya. hausted and I am not able to take care
“We wanted to bring some kind of of my young kids, my husband has to do Above, the Lebovic family at Dina’s bat mitzvah.
spirituality and meaning to Dina’s bat everything. On the days that I don’t have Right, cousin Michelle Tarczy and her family.
mitzvah,” said Chaya, who lives with her dialysis I am mainly just exhausted and
family, husband Yossie, and Dina’s sib- have brain fog. It is hard to function on a made me harder to match. My doctors
lings, Avi, 16, Esti, 14, and Tova, 5, in Fair day-to-day basis. have informed me that my best bet for a
Lawn. “There’s such an emphasis on DJs “Dialysis has also been hard on my successful transplant is a live donor.”
and giveaways, but there is so much more body, causing me to go into heart failure. There are a few requirements for
to becoming a bat mitzvah. What’s really After the heart failure diagnosis, I was interested donors. A donor has to be
important is family. Michelle is our fam- given numerous medications and have between the ages of 21 and 70; blood
ily and we want to help her so she can be now been told that my heart function type must be A+, A-, O+ or O-, and in
there for her own family.” is back to normal. Now that my heart is good general health (as determined by
Michelle has publicized her medical back to normal I was recently approved the Cleveland Clinic). If one meets all
story and her urgent need for a kidney to be eligible for a transplant. Due to my of these requirements and is willing to
on her own Facebook page, but Chaya previous transplant, I needed to receive donate, one can contact the live donor
thought that her story and a possible numerous blood transfusions. After I office at the Cleveland Clinic (216) 445-
donor could be found if it reached a wid- received the transfusions it changed the 3150 or (800) 223-2273, ext. 53150. Tell
er audience. antibodies in my blood, which has now them it is for Michelle Tarczy.
I
n our home when someone ing to make that up to you.” “I
makes a mistake — spills the thought that you were coming
juice, breaks a glass, or over- out of bed just because, but
sleeps — we often jokingly say, “It’s a you were trying to let me know
good thing we celebrate mistakes in that Sara was hurt. That was
our family...” It sounds silly but it usu- my mistake.”
ally works to break the tension of the Teaching kids to celebrate
minor (and sometimes major) oops mistakes goes a long way in
that come along with family life. promoting resilience in kids
Adults need to let children make and helping them celebrate life
mistakes and learn from them. We to its fullest.
need to watch them struggle with
and settle their own problems. We Adina Soclof is a parent educa-
also need to let them do as much as tor, professional development
they can for themselves and treat instructor, and speech pathologist
children responsibly so they can working with children in a school
function on their own. setting. She is also the founder of
It is hard to let children make parentingsimply.com.
their own mistakes. We feel, “If they
would just listen to us then they
would not have to suffer from their
mistakes.” Allowing them to do for themselves sometimes Instead of berating him for his attempt, I knew that
makes more work for us. “If I pour the juice it won’t spill.” this was the perfect opportunity to applaud his efforts in
But learning to recognize our mistakes, repair them trying to find a solution to his problem. I said, “I am glad
and grow from them is essential for kids. We want to you tried. You know it took Thomas Edison over 1,000
protect our kids, but if they aren’t allowed to make mis-
takes they can become fearful of making the smallest
attempts to make the light bulb. I’m also glad that you
used an old back pack and not your new one.”
A Reason to Smile
decisions, hesitant to solve problems and afraid to try It is so hard to keep ourselves from butting in with
new experiences. criticism and advice. But we need to hang back and think
We want to promote resilience in our children. Re- of ways to respond that promote resilience in our kids.
silient children make mistakes, get up, brush themselves We can teach children that little failures are opportunities
off and move on. for growth and that effort should be celebrated.
Here are five ways to help children celebrate mistakes:
Tell stories of failures that were
Embrace mistakes really successes
Remind kids often: “No one is perfect” and “Everyone Many successful people relate that their mistakes and
makes mistakes. It is part of how we learn.” This teaches failures were valuable lessons. Their difficult and often-
children to keep a good attitude about their errors, and times painful experiences shaped their future in powerful
they’ll be less fearful of making mistakes. ways. This is a worthy attitude to adopt. Collect stories
about failures that were the impetus for great achieve-
Remind children of what they’ve ments and share them with your clients and students.
already accomplished One teacher I know enjoys telling children the story
Children should take note of their accomplishments so of the invention of the telephone. She has her class read
TEANECK DENTIST
that can see how far they have come, without focusing on the following story:
the mistakes they may have made on the way. “When you Bell enjoyed the work of the German physicist Her-
We put the Care
were a baby, you couldn’t walk. And look at you now! You mann Von Helmholtz. In his book, written in German,
run so fast, I can hardly keep up with you.” Von Helmholtz stated that, vowel sounds could be pro- into Dental Care!
duced using electrical tuning forks and resonators. Bell Richard S. Gertler, DMD, FAGD
Encourage inventiveness could not read German very well so he thought that Von
Ari Frohlich, DMD
Last summer, my son rode his bike to his job. He com- Helmholtz had said that vowel sounds could be transmit-
Sami Solaimanzadeh, DMD
plained that his backpack kept on banging against the ted over wire. This misunderstanding changed the world.
wheel of his bike. It was driving him crazy. He took an old Alexander Graham Bell said, “It gave me confidence. If I
backpack and tried to refashion the straps so that his bag had been able to read German, I might never have begun
1008 Teaneck Road • Teaneck
wouldn’t hang down so low and reach the wheels of his my experiments in electricity.” 201.837.3000
bike. He was using scissors. It seemed to me that he was www.teaneckdentist.com
ruining this backpack but I kept my mouth shut. After a Be honest about your own mistakes Visit us on Facebook
few unsuccessful attempts, he came to the same conclu- Parents can share their mistakes with children and what
sion. “I think I made it worse.” they learned from those errors. “Yesterday we were sup- Convenient Morning, Evening & Sunday Hours
“H
ow do I get my children to traumatizing our children and they will
sleep at night? They won’t grow up emotionally stilted. And there
stay in bed!” are times where we are so tired that we
“Bedtime in my house is a nightmare! don’t have the energy to do all that needs
I dread it.” to be done. We cannot enforce anything;
“My kids are whiny and cranky in the let alone bedtime.
morning because they are not getting But kids need us to be strong, firm
enough sleep. What can I do?” and even unyielding when we set our
These are complaints that I hear limits and rules. Even though they might
often from parents. Bedtime can be fight against us they don’t want us to lose
quite challenging. the battle. Surprisingly kids feel more se-
Many times when children don’t lis- cure and are happier when their parents
ten to us it is because they are testing set limits and stick to them. This even in-
us to see if we mean what we say. And cludes going to bed on time.
many times we don’t mean what we say Here are 6 ways to get your child to
because we are so unsure about our par- bed on time. bedtime helps brain development. Kids Knowing the benefits, we can rest
enting. We feel bad or mean when we try who have consistent bedtimes scored easy that enforcing bedtime is good for
to get our kids to sleep, eat their vegeta- Know in your heart that bedtime is better on cognitive tests in reading, math kids. We will not traumatize or hurt our
bles, be polite, all the things parents are important for your kids and spatial relations. Not only that, early children in any way when we are strict
responsible for so that their children will We all know that kids who have gotten bedtimes can prevent obesity in children. about getting them the rest they need.
grow up civilized and productive mem- the sleep they need are less likely to be I also think that families that have regular We can feel confident that we truly have
bers of society. Not only that, if we make whiny and cranky. But science goes even bedtimes are calmer and happier. It is eas- our child’s welfare at heart. When our
them do the things they don’t want to do further. All the latest studies have touted ier to run a household when both adults children balk, instead of saying to our-
they might not like us or they will be un- the importance of bedtime. A regular and kids are getting the rest they need. selves, “I am being so mean to them by
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making them go to sleep when they don’t want to…” We on how to solve it: more book, or one more bathroom trip. Try to fit this all
should say: “My kids need me to get them into bed on Parent: I see that you are having trouble staying in into your bedtime routine. You can say:
time. They need me to be firm and enforce their bedtime bed. Lets put our heads together and see if we can come “Last call for the bathroom is right now!”
for their physical growth, cognitive development, their up with any solutions? “Waters are being given out now. Last call for water
sanity and mine!” When I have done this with my kids we have come next to your bed!”
up with a variety of options to help them stay in bed. You can also give them choices:
Use the voice of authority Some ideas were: “It is almost time for sleep, do you want 5 or ten
Oftentimes kids would rather be doing anything than go- kisses before I leave?”
ing to sleep. They have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Their • Nightlight “You get to choose the book, do you want one or 2
room could be dark and boring, while the rest of the house • Lamp by the bed books tonight?”
is full of light and potential for fun. This should not deter • Listening to quiet music Let them know that they can only come out if there
us; we can be firm when we are putting our kids to bed. • Books on tape is an emergency.
Kids need to know that you mean business. We want • Mommy staying for five minutes after Shema It also fair to say, “After 8 p.m., Mommy/Daddy needs
to avoid using wishy-washy language or phrases that • Coloring with Color Wonder (no mess crayons and col- to take care of other things around the house, or I need
might highlight our uncertainty: oring book) some quiet time to myself. This will help me be a better
“Can you get into bed already! Please?” mommy tomorrow.
“Stop jumping on the bed, okay?” But sometimes we just need to be firm, especially If your child tries to get you to fall into his “just one
Instead we need to be more authoritative and sure: with younger children. Parenting is hard work. You often more thing” trap don’t get pulled into an argument with
“Time for bed.” have to do things over and over again until your child him or give in to his requests. If you do, you are giving
“We have time to read one story.” understands that you mean business. him exactly what he wants, a delayed bedtime and ex-
“Cups of water are to be gotten now, not later.” That might mean that every time your child comes tra attention. It will also be harder to get back into your
“Heads on the pillow.” out of his room take him back in without fanfare, talk- bedtime routine.
“Bedtime for 5 year olds is 7:30 p.m.” ing as little as possible (or use the short phrases that we Bedtime can be a tough time for parents, knowing
Repeat as needed. outline in our use your voice of authority sections). it’s good for your kids, using the voice of authority, using
Soon your child will get the picture that you mean routine and rituals, and being firm about that one last
Put in place bedtime rituals what you say and will not be rewarded by any extra at- thing can all help to make bedtime more pleasurable.
Children thrive on routines and rituals. Have a set one for tention, negative or otherwise.
bedtime that you can enforce with your voice of authori- One last thing: Adina Soclof is a parent educator, professional development
ty. When my kids were young our routine looked like this: Children can get us with their creative last minute instructor, and speech pathologist working with children in a
Snack, brush teeth, bath, pajamas, two books, Shema requests, one more hug, one more drink of water, one school setting. She is also the founder of parentingsimply.com.
prayer and some snuggles and kisses.
Whatever you decide, try to be consistent. They will
start to move more naturally from one to the other.
You can even make a picture chart showing what
your routine is. That way when your child is not following
the routine, lets say he doesn’t want to brush his teeth,
you can just point to the picture. You can be forceful
without saying a word.
If your children are a bit older, it is helpful if you de-
velop a routine with your child’s input. Make some time
to sit with your child/ren and ask some of the follow-
ing questions.
How can we make bedtime go smoothly?
What can we do to make sure that you are in bed
on time?
How can we make bedtime better and calmer?
Gallery
J U LY
Send it to:
Calendar Editor
About Our Children
New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group
1086 Teaneck Road
Teaneck, NJ 07666 AboutOC@aol.com
or fax it to: 201-833-4959
Deadline for March issue:
This calendar is a day-by-day schedule of events. Although all information is as timely as we can make it, it’s a good idea to call to verify details before you go. published February 23, Tuesday, February 13
Friday, June 22 Ridgewood Celebrates July 4: Come for sum- Thursday, July 12 Lap Time at the Library: Story time for infants
who are not yet walking 11 a.m. Teaneck Public
mer fun and patriotic pride. Wilsey Square
Family Value Day at the Fair: Discount tickets Storytime and Craft: Children and caregivers Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
Associates, 20 Wilsey Square. Flag raising starts
are available at the State Fair Meadowlands. Gate meet in the Children’s Reading Garden, weather www.teaneck.org.
at 9 a.m. Parade begins at 10 a.m. Gates open at
admission tickets are $10 for all ages. Parking, and noise permitting for stories and a simple
Veterans Field, Ridgewood at 6 p.m.
food, game, and ride tickets cost $2. Select food craft. Ages 3K to 6 years old. 10 a.m. Teaneck Friday, July 20
and drink items are $2. Unlimited Ride Hand
Stamps will not be available. 6 p.m. to 1 a.m.
Monday, July 5 Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
www.teaneck.org.
Stuffed Toy Sleepover: Escort your favorite
Cheap, Cheap Night at the State Fair: stuffed toy to a toys only sleepover. Following a
MetLife Stadium, 1 MetLife Stadium Drive, East Toddler Time at Teaneck Library: Story time
Admission for all ages costs $5. Unlimited ride story time, the stuffed toy will sleep over and then
Rutherford. www.njfair.com. for walkers up to 2K years old. Participants can
hand stamp is available for $25 for all ages. children can pick them up the next day. Photos
attend sessions at 10 or 11 a.m. Teaneck Public
Saturday, June 23 Parking is free. 5 p.m. to midnight. MetLife
Stadium, 1 MetLife Stadium Drive, East Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
of the event. Noon. Teaneck Public Library, 840
Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
Story Time in Teaneck: Enjoy old and new favor- www.teaneck.org.
Rutherford. www.njfair.com.
ites at this family story event at 11 a.m. Teaneck Filmstrip Story Time: Classic picture books come Saturday, July 21
Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road, Teaneck. 201-
837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
Saturday, July 7 to life on the big screen. 10:30 a.m. Age 3 and Family Story Time: Family story time meets
Bagels and Biscuits: Temple Beth Tikvah invites up. No registration required. Groups welcomed. at 11 a.m. For age 4 and older. Teaneck Public
Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-
Tuesday, June 26 you and your loving furry companion to a unique
and spiritual experience Bagels and Biscuits at 10 837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
www.teaneck.org.
Libraries Rock: Musical instrument workshop Lap Time at the Library: Story time for infants
a.m. Share Bagels, coffee, biscuits and water in a
for youngsters 4 and older. Make your own musi-
bowl at our outdoor gathering for your leashed who are not yet walking 11 a.m. Teaneck Public Monday, July 23
cal instruments to rock out all summer. From Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
pet and their human. Bring a mitzvah pet food Read to a Dog: Children can read to a new canine
3 to 5 p.m. Paramus Public Library, 116 East www.teaneck.org.
or toy or accessory for a cat or dog for Project friend at the library. Appointments with the
Century Road, Paramus, 201-599-1300, www.
Rescue Foundation of the No-Kill Animal Shelter Summer Blood Drive: Young Israel will be hold- therapy dogs for 20 minutes. For grade 1 and older.
paramuslibrary.org.
of Bergen County. Temple Beth Tikvah, 950 ing its annual summer blood drive from 3 to 9 Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-
Free Kids Night at the State Fair: Gate admission Preakness Ave., Wayne. 973-595-6565, www. p.m. Sign up tinyurl.com/youngisraelblooddrive, 837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
is free for 12 and younger and a child unlimited templebethtikvahnj.org. For more information or just show up. If you have any questions, or are
hand stamp is $20 at the State Fair Meadowlands. about the shelter, email rescueme@bcrescues. looking to get involved in another way, contact Thursday, July 26
Admission for 13 and up is $11. There is a combo org or 201-945-0649. Sara Schatz at saraschatz01@gmail.com or 201- Storytime and Craft: Children and caregivers
admission/unlimited ride hand stamp ticket for 708-5249.
Family Story Time: Family story time meets meet in the Children’s Reading Garden, weather
$30. Parking is free. 5 p.m. to midnight. MetLife
at 11 a.m. For age 4 and older. Teaneck Public and noise permitting for stories and a simple
Stadium, 1 MetLife Stadium Drive, East Rutherford.
www.njfair.com.
Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171, Saturday, July 14 craft. Ages 3K to 6 years old. 10 a.m. Teaneck
www.teaneck.org. Family Story Time: Family story time meets Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
Friday, June 29 Monday, July 9
at 11 a.m. For age 4 and older. Teaneck Public
Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
www.teaneck.org.
Mother Goose Story Time: Listen to a story
Shabbat in Closter: Temple Beth El in Closter www.teaneck.org.
Read to a Dog: Children can read to a new for 2K to 3 years old. Meets at 10 a.m. Teaneck
invites the community to join a Summer Kabbalat
canine friend at the library. Appointments with Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
Shabbat Service at 6:30 p.m. All are welcome.
Temple Beth El, 221 Schraalenburgh Road, Closter.
the therapy dogs for 20 minutes. For grade 1 and Monday, July 16 www.teaneck.org.
older. Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. Read to a Dog: Children can read to a new canine Filmstrip Story Time: Classic picture books come
201-768-5112.
201-837-4171, www.teaneck.org. friend at the library. Appointments with the to life on the big screen. 10:30 a.m. Age 3 and
Sunday, July 1 Tuesday, July 10
therapy dogs for 20 minutes. For grade 1 and older.
Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-
up. No registration required. Groups welcomed.
Family Fireworks in Paramus: Come celebrate Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-
Mother Goose Story Time: Listen to a story 837-4171, www.teaneck.org. 837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
July 4 early in Paramus. The event features food,
for 2K to 3 years old. Meets at 10 a.m. Teaneck
live entertainment, and a fireworks display at dusk.
Bring a blanket or chair. Cliff Gennarelli Sports
Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171, Tuesday, July 17 Toddler Time at Teaneck Library: Story time
for walkers up to 2K years old. Participants can
www.teaneck.org. Mother Goose Story Time: Listen to a story for attend sessions at 10 or 11 a.m. Teaneck Public
Complex, Garden State Plaza Parkway, Paramus.
2K to 3 years old. Meets at 10 a.m. Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
Tuesday, July 3 Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
www.teaneck.org.
www.teaneck.org.
Fireworks at the State Fair: Celebrate Lap Time at the Library: Story time for infants
summer fun and patriotic pride with fire-
works displays that can be seen anywhere
Thursday, July 19 who are not yet walking 11 a.m. Teaneck Public
Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
on the fairgrounds for just the cost of Storytime and Craft: Children and care- www.teaneck.org.
admission; parking is $5. 2 p.m. to 1 a.m. givers meet in the Children’s Reading
MetLife Stadium, 1 MetLife Stadium Drive, Garden, weather and noise permitting Friday, July 27
East Rutherford. www.njfair.com. for stories and a simple craft. Ages 3K
Stuffed Toy Sleepover: Escort your favorite
to 6 years old. 10 a.m. Teaneck Public
stuffed toy to a toys only sleepover. Following a
Wednesday, July 4 Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
www.teaneck.org.
story time, the stuffed toy will sleep over and then
Fireworks in Jersey City: Jersey City children can pick them up the next day. Photos
Freedom & Fireworks Festival includes live Mother Goose Story Time: Listen to a of the event. Noon. Teaneck Public Library, 840
music, children’s entertainment, amuse- story for 2K to 3 years old. Meets at 10 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
ment rides, food and drink, and a fireworks a.m. Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck
display highlighting the Statue of Liberty Road. 201-837-4171, www.teaneck.org. Saturday, July 28
and Ellis Island. Noon to 10 p.m. Liberty Filmstrip Story Time: Classic picture Family Story Time: Family story time meets
State Park, Jersey City. books come to life on the big screen. at 11 a.m. For age 4 and older. Teaneck Public
Fireworks at the State Fair: Celebrate 10:30 a.m. Age 3 and up. No registration Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
summer fun and patriotic pride with required. Groups welcomed. Teaneck Public www.teaneck.org.
breathtaking fireworks displays that can Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-837-4171,
be seen anywhere on the Fairgrounds for www.teaneck.org. Monday, July 30
just the cost of admission; parking is $5. 2 Toddler Time at Teaneck Library: Story Read to a Dog: Children can read to a new canine
p.m. to 1 a.m. MetLife Stadium, 1 MetLife time for walkers up to 2K years old. friend at the library. Appointments with the
Stadium Drive, East Rutherford. www.njfair. Participants can attend sessions at 10 or 11 therapy dogs for 20 minutes. For grade 1 and older.
com. a.m. Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck Teaneck Public Library, 840 Teaneck Road. 201-
Stuffed Toy Sleepover, see July 20, July 27.
Road. 201-837-4171, www.teaneck.org. 837-4171, www.teaneck.org.
Shabbat Ices from page 11 Perek in the Park also was intended as
Simchas
until about 5:08 — just about as long as it a memorial for his late son.
takes for the kids to eat and finish their “We thought it important to have a
ices,” Mr. Garb said. living memorial to Zalmi and to keep his
On any given Shabbat there might be memory alive by sharing this with the
150 to 200 children and their families who community,” Mr. Garb said. “It is some-
come. Any other park-goers, Jewish or not, thing that other communities and shuls
are invited into the circle as well. can do as well.”
B’nei mitzvah “We really got involved in doing this It was also important for him to
Schmidt, celebrated because we want to make children happy,” demonstrate how things can just “get
LOGAN ROSNER
becoming a bat mitzvah said Mr. Garb. Perek in the Park is a Garb done” by committing to something and
Logan Rosner, daughter
of Kim and Scott Rosner on June 2 at the Glen Rock family affair, which includes his wife, just doing it.
of Allendale and sister Jewish Center. Madelyn Rachi, and his children, Kayla, 20, Mendy, “It’s ten dollars a week to buy these
of Harrison, celebrated is the granddaughter of 18, and Ziggy, 13. ices,” he said. “It’s great to be able to make
becoming a bat mitzvah Carol and Bob Berliner of
Garb had a partner in the launch, his 200 kids happy and to give them a chance
on June 16 at Temple Beth Paramus.
friend Garron Macklin, who helped initi- to hear a little Torah. This really has been
Rishon in Wyckoff.
ABIGAIL SCHWARTZ ate the Perek in the Park, an idea that not our pleasure.”
Abigail Schwartz, daugh- only makes Shabbat fun, but also sweet. For anyone wanting to start a Perek in
LINDAY SASS
ter of Randy and David Mr. Garb said that the afternoon talk, the Park, Mr. Garb is available at shneur@
Linday Sass, daughter
GABRIEL HEXTER of Erica and Bruce Sass Schwartz of Ramsey and schmooze, and snack-fest also gives peo- garbcg.com.
Gabriel Hexter, son of of Wyckoff and sister of sister of Matthew, celebrat- ple who don’t ever have an experience of
Jenifer Hexter of Oakland Garrett, celebrated becom- ed becoming a bat mitzvah Shabbat, a taste of what Shabbat can be, Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of
and David Hexter of ing a bat mitzvah on June on June 2 at Temple Beth
and a positive association with the day. About Our Children.
Garfield, and brother of 9 at Temple Beth Rishon in Rishon in Wyckoff.
Elizabeth, 17, celebrated Wyckoff.
becoming a bar mitzvah on JACOB STEIN
PARTY
May 12 at Barnert Temple Jacob Stein, son of Steven
in Franklin Lakes. Stein and Milissa Finkel
and brother of Sam Stein,
AIMEE HOFFMAN celebrated becoming a
Aimee Hoffman, daugh- bar mitzvah on June 2 at
ter of Karen and Richard Congregation Beth Sholom
Hoffman of River Vale, in Teaneck.
celebrated becoming a
bat mitzvah on June 16 at SKYE TAYLOR
Temple Beth El of Northern Skye Taylor, daughter of
Valley in Closter. Corey and Tallie Taylor
MADELYN SCHMIDT of Haworth, celebrated
Madelyn Schmidt, daugh- becoming a bat mitzvah on
ter of Mindy Schmidt June 9 at Temple Beth El of
of Paramus and Joseph Northern Valley in Closter.
facebook.com/jewishstandard
40,000 came between 2010 and 2012. fellow asylum seekers secure their rights.
Many spent their first few nights sleep- “You don’t know what’s going to happen
ing in Levinsky Park next to the bus sta- the day after right now. You have to live as
tion, then moved into small apartments you can, to be safe for the day.”
where eight or 10 people slept on mat- Last month, Michael was denied a
tresses. Because the asylum seekers have checkbook by his Israeli bank.
few rights in Israel, they are prone to African residents all said the same thing.
exploitation by landlords charging high They wake up early to go to service jobs —
rents and demanding payments in cash. in restaurant kitchens, as busboys, factory
They have also consistently faced rac- workers or street cleaners — then come
ism from locals as well as national poli- back at night, eat, have a cup of coffee or
ticians. In 2012, a mob attacked African a smoke, then go to sleep. There are a few
residents of South Tel Aviv. Miri Regev, people making noise on the street, but life in
now Israel’s culture minister, called them the neighborhood is quiet. Because the pop-
a “cancer” (she later apologized). Official ulation is largely single men, many of them
government documents refer to them as spend their evenings eating with friends in
“infiltrators.” restaurants, maybe watching a European
The neighborhood has changed drasti- soccer match, before retiring to bed.
cally with the influx of Africans, although Kids attend public school — one of the
even longtime residents can’t always few guaranteed rights that Israel affords
agree how. Ayala Sinvani complained asylum seekers — and younger children Shops like these around Neve Shaanan sell ceremonial dress for festivals such as
both that the African population was often spend their days in unlicensed weddings. Much of the clothing is white with embroideries.
made up of young rowdy men — and that day care in people’s apartments. After
too many African children are crowding dark, the playground in Levinsky Park is Muhammad, the restaurateur, said he will go to a hamara bar for some coffee and
local schools. crowded with children as their parents has a reliable crowd of 25 or 30 guys who hookah for a half-hour or so. Then to bed.
“We are not living here, we are surviv- relax on benches and picnic tables. sit at his rectangular tables each night. “I just like my work,” he said. “I come
ing,” said Teklit Michael, an Eritrean asy- On weekends, many Eritreans will go Most come in the evening, before he closes from home to my place and then go back
lum seeker who came to Israel in 2008 and to church. The churches, like many of at 9:30, and will eat his menu based on home. I have nothing else to do. I don’t
has since become an activist, serving as a the neighborhood’s establishments, are Sudanese kisra bread or asida, a doughy know anything else.”
spokesman for his community and helping often unzoned. dish served with tomato sauce. Then some JTA WIRE SERVICE
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W
thing that’s upsetting, they can play with
hen Mary McCabe explains that and it helps them be less upset,” she
America’s immigration said of the water toy. “If they can play and
courts to children who have have something they’re fiddling with, it can
been separated from their be easier to talk sometimes.”
parents, she tries to make it interactive. HIAS Pennsylvania is one of the Jewish
She draws a sketch of a courtroom and groups actively aiding families that have
asks kids to identify the figures in the room been separated at the southern U.S. border
— like the judge or the lawyers — and where under a new government policy dictating
they sit. For younger ones, ages 6 or 7, she that every illegal migrant who crosses the
brings a box of crayons and a sketchpad for United States border will be prosecuted and
doodling. Older kids sometimes play with detained. Since children cannot be pros-
a toy that drips colored oil into water. Any- ecuted with adults, they are reclassified as
201-767-0448
COURTESY OF ALMA HERNANDEZ
www.closterfursandfashions.com
JOHN MOORE/GETTY IMAGES
SUITS
P
In 2013 I interviewed Sig Sil- I know that we need immigration
ber of Paterson, who then was policies. We can’t let everyone in. But resident Trump has come under a because North Korea built its nuclear arsenal
a successful, well-rooted, and happy I also know that most, by far most, of lot of criticism for his summit with with fewer centrifuges.
patent attorney with an engineering the people who come to our southern Kim Jong-un at Singapore. Oppo- Trump, in his negotiations with Kim,
degree from MIT, a thriving family, and border are looking to escape the vio- nents of the president say that he demanded, and Kim signed, a declaration
a flourishing legal practice in Clifton. lence and fear and degrading poverty did exactly with Kim what Obama did with agreeing to the complete denuclearization of
He also was a man whose mother of their lives. They are not at all unlike Iran. He legitimized a rogue regime in order to the Korean Peninsula.
had put him, his older brother, and our ancestors; all were drawn by the get rid of their nukes. So why did Republicans I recognize that this agreement is thus far
their baby sister on the Kindertrans- vision of the Lady in the harbor, with condemn Obama and praise Trump? meaningfulness, as it has no details or timeta-
port. He never saw his mother again; her torch shining on them. They were I’m not here to get political on this issue. bles. But at the very least its focus is on North
he and his siblings battled the trauma drawn by our talk of life and hope and Ensuring rogue regimes don’t have nukes is Korea completely dismantling every vestige of
of that separation for all of their lives. prosperity and vast open spaces. Of way too important for it to be a partisan. And its nuclear program, as opposed to Iran, which
Mr. Silber’s struggles seem to have amber waves of grain. amid my praise for the president for bringing was allowed to remain nuclear.
been successful, but he was quite clear There are other questions about North Korea to the negotiating Obama lifted all the major
about the toll they took on him, about immigration, even if they pale in com- table — startling in itself — I con- sanctions against Iran and
how that separation from his mother, parison to what we’re doing with par- fess to a strong distaste for see- saved its economy from total
and the other separations over the ents and children. ing a tin-pot brutal dictator like implosion through multibillion-
course of the next decade that took We need immigrants. Kim being elevated to a place of dollar deals that were imme-
him from home to home as the needs As much as we (we not being all of global importance. diately inked in the wake of
of the people caring for him and the us, needless to say) talk about how But let’s point out some of Obama’s disastrous deal.
bureaucracies that lost and then found immigrants take Americans’ jobs, the major differences between The Trump administration
him changed him, made it harder and unemployment is low now, and the Obama’s Iran deal and Trump’s has said that even in the wake
harder for him to attach to new people. jobs immigrants take are the ones North Korea summit. of the summit in Singapore no
He stayed in Paterson long after he Americans don’t want. They’re day First, Obama negotiated with Rabbi sanctions will be lifted.
could have left, and everyone like him laborers. They’re the guys on bikes Iran even while it incessantly Shmuley Finally, and most importantly,
socioeconomically had left, he told with big bags of food, most visible threatened a targeted genocide Boteach Obama’s Iranian deal allowed for
me, because that’s where he ended up when it’s roasting hot or pouring rain of an ethnic group consisting of sunset clauses that would give
in this country, and “I wanted to put and their lucky customers don’t want six million people, in this case, the Iranians the capacity and the
down roots.” to go out, so they do. They’re the peo- the Jews of Israel. He never once warned Iran right to produce an unlimited number of nukes
He was one of the very lucky ones. ple who kill cows and then butcher that it must stop its promises to annihilate the when the deal ended in over a decade.
His sister, who had been seven months them. (Remember Aaron Rubashkin, Jews or he’d withdraw from the negotiations. Trump’s discussions with Kim involved
old when her mother had to give her the Agriprocessors owner whose That was not true of Trump and Kim. As North Korea getting rid of its nukes and
up, never flourished, and died young. sentence President Trump com- soon as Kim’s government started sounding nuclear program completely and utterly.
That’s not surprising. The kind of muted? His slaughterhouse, in Iowa belligerent and attacking Vice President Pence, Now, let’s recognize that North Korea
trauma that comes from the sepa- — not exactly right over the border — Trump canceled the summit. is a rogue regime and Kim is a tyrant. I
ration from a parent can actively employed many undocumented for- It was only when Kim stopped the belligerent hated seeing people cheer a murderer on
reroute a young person’s brain, sci- eign workers. That’s because almost talk that Trump agreed to the meeting. the streets of Singapore and Kim being
entists warn us. no Americans want to work in such The Obama administration gave the Iranians afforded all the trappings of a legitimate
I’ve often imagined what it must places — and the ones who do, the $150 billion — a large chunk in untraceable cash world leader. I hated seeing him portrayed
have felt like for parents who had to ones who want to kill, are the ones — and even admitted that some of the money — however temporarily — as an equal to the
put their children on the Kindertrans- we really have to look out for.) will probably go to terrorism. Trump didn’t leader of the free world and the earth’s fore-
port, but then I make myself stop. It’s At this point, there is neither cour- give Kim a nickel. At least not yet, and we hope most democratic republic. Having said that,
not possible to imagine that level of age nor novelty in speaking out against it will remain that way. if Trump succeeds in getting Kim to volun-
fear and pain, and if it were possible it the remarkably cruel and profoundly Obama legitimized Iran’s nuclear program tarily give up all his nukes, that will be a tre-
would be devastating. un-Jewish policy that has American and allowed for 6,000 centrifuges to continue mendous accomplishment for world peace
We are so very lucky not to have to immigrant officials taking children to spin as part of the deal. This is significant and the summit will have been a success. It
imagine that. away from their parents. But until that
But the parents who are bringing practice is ended, every single one of Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is the author of 32 books, including his new book, “Lust for Love,”
their children up to the United States’ us who has a voice must raise it. -JP co-authored with Pamela Anderson. Follow him on Twitter @RabbiShmuley.
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But there must be timetables on was tested on September 3, 1941,
these negotiations and Kim cannot when 600 Soviet prisoners of war ear High School Senior: some other institute of higher
be allowed to drag out the negotia- and 260 ill or weak prisoners at As I sat down to write learning, there will be moments
tions indefinitely. a concentration camp in Poland this article, I was just when you will wish you were back
For me, the most embarrass- known as Auschwitz were herded days away from attend- home, surrounded by your family.
ing thing about Obama’s nuclear into an experimental gas chamber. ing my first significant graduation as There will be times when you will
deal was how he had no problems The Germans filled the room with a father. be stressed out because you had a
negotiating with a regime that was crystalline hydrogen cyanide gas, True, it was an elementary school tough day, you are missing a sim-
promising weekly to destroy Israel an insecticide with the commer- graduation and not a high school cha back home, you are dealing
and kill all its citizens. Genocidal cial name Zyklon B. The test was one, but those milestone moments with unresolved issues that have
incitement is expressly prohibited “successful” and the gas chamber at any age prompt parents to think Rabbi Zvi been tucked away in the back cor-
by the 1948 U.N. Anti-Genocide was used for mass murder starting about the words of wisdom they Gluck ners of your mind for years, or
convention, to which the United in January 1942. want to offer their kids at this cru- you are trying to find your place
State is a signatory. A few weeks earlier, the Nazis cial juncture in their lives. So I come in an unfamiliar social scene and
There is good reason for this. had tested another method for to you today not wearing my Amudim hat, but as a wondering why on earth you ever thought
Genocidal rhetoric is the first step gassing prisoners at Chelmno, a dad, albeit one who knows more than most about spending a year away from home would be a
in genocidal implementation. camp 30 miles northwest of Lodz. the challenges teens face today. good idea.
World War II began on Septem- Prisoners there were forced into As you got ready to don your cap and gown At moments like that, when you are feeling
ber 1, 1939, with the German inva- vans with tubes directing the car- (or maybe just a suit and tie) you were no lost and vulnerable, escaping reality by get-
sion of Poland. Shortly afterward, bon monoxide from the exhaust doubt excitedly looking towards the opportuni- ting drunk or high might seem like an excel-
Heinrich Himmler, the head of the pipe into the area where they were ties that lie ahead. For many of you that means lent idea.
Gestapo and the SS, created spe- trapped. Three vans used to kill leaving home for the first time as you write the Or consider this scenario. You are away in
cial mobile killing units within the more than 150,000 people in less next chapter of your educational career and, school and have really clicked with your new
SS, the Einsatzgruppen, respon- than three years drove and emp- quite possibly for the first time ever, being friends. They are fun, they really get you, and
sible for liquidating all political tied the victims into mass graves. responsible for yourselves. Some of those deci- now that they are far away from their par-
enemies of the Reich. They were So, the Holocaust had begun, sions that lie ahead may be as simple as where ents’ watchful eyes, they know how to party
placed under the command of his and the extermination of the Jews to spend Shabbos or whether or not to go out like nobody’s business. While you undoubt-
deputy, Reinhardt Heydrich. On was already in full swing, when for dinner with your friends, while others may edly are mature enough to realize that they are
September 21, 1939, Heydrich sent Heydrich invited 14 high-ranking involve far more serious matters that can have clearly overindulging, you really want to fit in
a secret memo to the chiefs of the Nazi Party and government lead- devastating consequences. And with your par- and be one of the gang, and you may find your-
Einsatzgruppen. It is a remarkable ers to the SS-owned villa at Wann- ents many, many miles away, this time you will self wondering if bingeing on alcohol, smok-
document that makes clear that a see, a suburb of Berlin. It was not be the one determining what your next move ing some weed, or experimenting with pills is
conference in Berlin that day dis- referred to as the Wannsee Con- will be. really such a big deal.
cussed the solution to the Jewish ference, that is name given to it I am telling you right now, that it is. Going
question and the importance of later, and we only know of its exis- down any of those roads could potentially set
keeping the plans for implement- tence because one of the 30 copies you on an extremely dangerous path, one that
ing it secret. The memo euphe- (marked number 16 of 30) believed could have devastating consequences. Addiction
mistically refers to the “final aim” to have been distributed to the As with so many can have lifelong consequences.
of the Nazis, which he says would participants and other parties was Fatal ones, too.
take some time, and the stages found in 1947 by American war other challenges Finding yourself as you are now, on the cusp
necessary for fulfilling it in the crimes investigators in the files of in life, it helps to of adulthood, it’s time to realize that life is full
short term. the German Foreign Office. It was of unexpected surprises and not all of them
The “first prerequisite,” which at this conference that the compre- be prepared for are pleasant. There are times when the going is
Heydrich said should “be carried hensive arrangements for the final what is heading going to be way more than tough, and you just
out with all speed,” was the “con- solution of the Jewish question was don’t know how you are going to get through
centration of the Jews from the decided upon. your way, so that the day. Turning to drugs or alcohol to numb
countryside into the larger cities.” And my point? when you hit one the pain might seem like a good idea, but noth-
If an explanation for this action was Genocide does not happen all at ing could be further from the truth. Whether
needed, he wrote, they were to say once, but piecemeal. Often, it is a of those inevitable you are 18 or 81, numbing the pain doesn’t
“that Jews have most influentially case of trial and error and of the bumps in the road, solve anything. It is a temporary escape, and
participated in guerrilla attacks and governments implementing the once your poison of choice wears off, the pain
plundering actions.” Foreshadow- genocide testing public response, you know how to still is going to be there. Worse yet, you will
ing future plans, Heydrich said to probing world opinion and oppo- deal with it. have created an even larger problem for your-
create “as few concentration points sition, and actual methods of mur- self, because when future difficulties crop up,
as possible…so as to facilitate sub- der. Which is why genocides must drugs or alcohol will seem like the easy answer,
sequent measures,” and to choose be resisted just as soon as they are As with so many other challenges in life, it and before you know it, you can get caught up
locations along railroad lines. The mentioned or discussed. helps to be prepared for what is heading your in the vicious cycle of addiction, one that has
memo also uses the word “ghetto,” It was in this crucial matter that way, so that when you hit one of those inevita- taken all too many young lives in recent years.
which may be the earliest reference President Obama failed so miser- ble bumps in the road, and I promise you, you And while we are discussing sensitive sub-
to the German plan to confine Jews ably when he refused to call out will, you know how to deal with it. Whether jects, there is one more that I need to address.
to ghettos. Iran for its promises of total Jewish you are heading off to yeshiva, seminary, or SEE GRADUATES PAGE 29
Two years later, the implemen- extermination.
tation of the radical solution to And it is a lesson President
The opinions expressed in this section are those of the authors, not necessarily those of
the Jewish question to accomplish Trump must take with him should
the newspaper’s editors, publishers, or other staffers. We welcome letters to the editor.
the “final aim” began when the Kim Jong-un return to any kind of
Einsatzgruppen were assigned threats against any other nation. Send them to jstandardletters@gmail.com.
O
with North Korea, I spoke of any society that tears children
n dozens of occasions, the never to be reunited, is something that we, the evils of communism, an from the arms of parents,
Torah instructs us to dem- as Jewish people, described by our Sages as ideology responsible for the that instructs guards in these
onstrate compassion for the rachmanim bnei rachmanim, “compassion- deaths of tens of millions of detention centers not to pick
widow, the orphan, and the ate people, the children of compassionate people, at minimum, over up or hold these children to
ger, the stranger, or, as often rabbinically people,” can never accept. We, who read of the course of the last century. comfort them, let alone one,
interpreted, the convert. Moreover, the Jacob’s decades of torment when Joseph is I lamented how, in contrast such as ours, that once was
Torah, in mandating this additional level of ripped away from him, could not but recoil to the brave and courageous Rabbi Daniel proud to take in the poor
care and compassion, roots this mandate at this policy. stand that our government Fridman and huddled masses fleeing
in our historical experience as strangers in Both my wife and I had grandparents who took in its policies toward evil dictatorships all over the
the land of Egypt. Our own national story endured brutal separation from their own the Soviet Union, especially, world, has lost its way.
must, the Torah teaches us, make us more parents during the Holocaust, and our own the Jackson-Vanik amendment, the human In our polarized climate, there are those
concerned for other oppressed or vulnera- familial narrative shapes our worldview to rights of the suffering, often starving, peo- who will willfully conflate a basic sense of
ble groups, and not, as some espouse, con- this day. Two years ago, on Yom HaShoah, ple of North Korea were completely absent morality and humanity with partisanship.
cerned only with our own suffering. I heard a lecture from Frieda Laub, a child from these discussions. And yet we know better. There is noth-
As such, we must abhor the current prac- survivor of the Holocaust, who told our I might have also mentioned, in that ing partisan, or political, about decrying
tice of separating children from their parents group that when she was separated from context, the systematic practice in com- brutality.
on the southern border of the United States. her mother at the age of six, and spent the munist countries of separating children To conclude with the words of Republi-
Every administration has both the right rest of the war hiding in a pigsty, she began from their parents, of breaking down the can former First Lady Laura Bush, “I appre-
and the duty to devise an immigration pol- each day with a Yiddish prayer, “Hashem, family unit. The parent-child relationship ciate the need to enforce and protect our
icy that balances sovereignty, security, and please let me see my mother again.” is a sacred one. The undying love a parent international boundaries, but this zero-tol-
compassion, in accordance with our history It is particularly painful to me that one of feels for a child is the very basis of all other erance policy is cruel. It is immoral.
as a nation of immigrants. And yet, in this the primary architects and vocal defenders social structures, such as community, and “And it breaks my heart.”
complex equation, some practices are sim- of this so called zero-tolerance policy of sepa- nationhood.
ply beyond the pale: ripping children out rating children from parents, according to Immigration policy is complex, as stated Daniel Fridman is the rabbi of the Jewish
of the arms of their parents, in some cases, media reports, is a member of our own faith. above. A balance between competing values Center of Teaneck.
L
et me start by stating what should claim, we will process it, and I will review administration insist there is are uncomfortable with the
be obvious: Holocaust compari- the situation and make a decision. no such policy, others insist use of ‘concentration camps’
sons are lazy and more often Let’s start with the word “exaggeration.” it is a necessary policy, others to describe the horrific treat-
than not hysterical. They dimin- If a wife accuses her husband of adultery, — namely Sessions — defend it ment of undocumented immi-
ish Nazism and genocide by making them and he replies “You’re exaggerating,” I’m on biblical grounds and still grants bc it feels like an exploi-
synonyms for “very bad things.” You may pretty sure this marriage can’t be saved. others — namely, the presi- tation of their trauma from
regard the Trump administration’s zero-tol- “Exaggeration” suggests you are overdoing dent — say they hate the pol- genocide, IT’S NOT BECAUSE
erance stance at the border, and its policy it, but there’s, you know, a continuum. icy but lie about their own THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT
of separating parents and children, as inhu- It gets weirder when you finish Sessions’ ability to rescind it. Confused WHAT’S HAPPENING.”
mane and un-American. But if you think thought for him after he says “they were and indefensible policy leads Andrew Exactly.
that’s Nazism, you don’t know Nazism. keeping [people] from leaving the coun- to confused and indefensible Silow-Carroll Responsible Jewish groups
But wow, how weird was Attorney Gen- try.” As opposed to what: “We are trying thinking and rhetoric. guard against loose Holocaust
eral Jeff Sessions’ reply when Laura Ingra- to keep them out”? That’s the difference It also leads opponents to analogies not because they
ham asked him about the Nazi comparisons? between the Nuremberg Laws and our overdo it. A detention center or shelter is want to claim all the world’s suffering for
Here’s the June 18 exchange on Fox immigration policy? You can almost hear not a concentration camp, as upsetting as themselves, but because they believe dis-
News’ “The Ingraham Angle”: the thought process as, “Yes, we both had it is to see children and adults separated tinctions matter. And they fear that if you
Ingraham: This is how your opponents, problems with alien populations. But ours into facilities that include chain-link hold- can prove that something isn’t Nazism,
[Attorney] General Sessions, are dema- is ethically defensible because they aren’t ing areas. Wikipedia has even included the then hey, it might not be all bad. But as
goguing this issue. … Nazi Germany, con- our citizens.” It’s telling that it’s the first U.S. Customs and Border Protection facili- Oluo continues, “We don’t actually have to
centration camps, human rights viola- distinction he can think of. ties on a list of concentration and intern- invoke the deep trauma of Jewish people in
tions. Laura Bush has weighed in. Michelle If somebody compared something I did ment camps. But these centers are troubling order to point out that separating families is
Obama, Rosalynn Carter, you’ve got all of to the Nazis, I hope in outrage I would and cruel on their own terms. Putting them wrong and putting people in cages is wrong.
the first ladies, going back to Eleanor Roo- jump right to the heart of Nazism: “The on the same list as Auschwitz and Sachsen- It is outrageous on its own. It should be
sevelt, she’s apparently weighed in as well. Nazis’ aim was to harness all the power hausen only diverts the conversation — and enough to force us into action on its own.”
General Sessions, what’s going on here? of the state to industrial-scale murder and actually gives the purveyors and defenders So Jeff Sessions is right: “[T]his is a seri-
Sessions: Well, it’s a real exaggeration, of the destruction of an entire race. Unless of a bad policy, a la Ingraham, the opportu- ous matter. We need to think it through,
course. In Nazi Germany, they were keep- you are actually talking about genocide, nity to claim hurt and insult. be rational and thoughtful about it.” Being
ing the Jews from leaving the country. But it’s demagoguery to compare any policy Holocaust analogies also force Jews to rational is putting our immigration pol-
this is a serious matter. We need to think it with which you disagree to Nazism.” become language police over a policy icy in proper historical and political per-
through, be rational and thoughtful about I hope I wouldn’t narrowly parse what I most seem to abhor. Nearly 30 Jewish spective. And being serious is listening to
it. We want to allow asylum for people and the Nazis do and don’t have in common. groups have signed a letter asking the gov- your critics and taking responsibility for
who qualify for it, but people who want I don’t believe Sessions is soft on Nazism. ernment to suspend its family separation the actions you and your colleagues have
economic migration for their personal The problem here is defending what more policy, including representatives of all the ordered and defended.
financial benefit, and what they think is and more people on both sides of the aisle major Jewish denominations. As author
their families’ benefit, is not a basis for a insist is an indefensible policy. And it’s what Ijeoma Oluo put it so succinctly on Twit- Andrew Silow-Carroll is editor of the Jewish
claim of asylum. But they can make that happens when some members of your own ter, “Hey, if Jewish people say that they Telegraphic Agency. He lives in Teaneck.
No, Rabbi Boteach, and an education center where visitors from all over the are exercise, diet, stress and smoking. The evils of the
Trump’s not good for Jews region will come and with the use of augmented reality, latter have been well documented. But the issue of stress
In reference to Rabbi Boteach’s June 8 column, “Is be able to learn, explore, question, and discover infor- has been overlooked and poorly understood. So, Dr. A
Trump good for the Jews? It’s an easy yes” — yes, I mation about the holocaust. failed to include it in his instructions to our dear Rabbi.
believe the U.S. embassy should be in Israel’s capital, As mentioned in the article, we are not trying to build There are two kinds of stress. One is the momen-
Jerusalem. I hail Nikki Haley for her unwavering support a new museum but on the exterior part of the project, tary effect of being blindsided by something extremely
for Israel in the United Nations. But other than that, say- we will have a reading rail that when you point a smart unpleasant such as a car accident, or getting a phone
ing Trump is good for Jews is despicable. phone or tablet to specific markers, the app will bring call at 5 am in the morning that your mother’s house
Using the shortcomings of biblical characters as an you to a web page that explains that concept or histori- has a burglar alarm (that happened to me recently). The
excuse for Trump’s outright immoral behavior is ridicu- cal fact or question. We want visitors to ask questions other kind of stress is long-term and environmental. It
lous. We Jews are moral people (though there are excep- and explore the answers. We want this to be the place involves your lifestyle, your occupation, and the circum-
tions — Bernie Madoff, Trump’s mentor Roy Cohen, where schools, shuls, churches, and other groups come stances of family life.
among others). Our Torah exhorts us to be kind to oth- to learn about the Shoah and while they are here, they When, for example, you find yourself in a troubled
ers, to be honorable, and to take care of God’s creation. will be able to learn about the plight of enslaved Africans work environment, when you worry about keeping
Trump is in no way honorable or kind, nor does he across the Municipal Green and visa versa. your job, when keeping your job requires you to live
care about God’s creation, our planet, as demonstrated The other parts of the memorial will be a central sculp- with great stress, all of this can have a profound impact
by his withdrawal from Paris climate accord. He has ture which will be determined by a competition of designers on cardiac function. A significant fraction of myocardial
cheated his workers, cheated students, abused women and architects as well as a memorial wall where community infarctions (aka “heart attacks”) are triggered by stress.
and the disabled. He violates our Constitution. He lines members can memorialize the names of family members I believe that our sages recognized this reality in two
his pockets, using his office for himself and family. He who were killed in the Holocaust. To make it more region- ways. The observance of Shabbat is all about re-charging
supports bigots and despots, has fanned racism, and centric, there will be testimonials and artifacts from local our emotional batteries. We extract ourselves from ordi-
may very well have committed treason. Most recently survivors accessible in the library along with a multi-level nary life and enter a different time and space. Stress is
has shown no humanity by separating children from curriculum that we will design in cooperation with other removed, at least for a day each week.
their parents at the border. To use Congresswoman Pelo- holocaust educational organizations. The other mechanism that copes with stress is daily
si’s word, this is “barbaric.” His policies hurt the poor. Donations to help this become a reality can be made prayer. When we engage with the divine, when we daven
This list could be greatly expanded. at nnjholocaustmemorial.org. the Amidah or sing Psalms, when we pray for shalom,
As a Jew, I find it offensive to be linked to Trump! Steve Fox - co-chair we are administering an antidote to the toxins of daily
Ilana Kantey Northern New Jersey Holocaust life. Some of us are fortunate enough to do this one, two
Fort Lee Memorial & Education Center or even three times a day. Personally, I find wrapping
[understanding.jpg] myself in a tallit every morning creates a powerful feel-
Awaiting the rabbi’s next column ing of calmness and serenity.
I await, with bated breath, a column by “America’s More on healthy living For others, meditation, yoga, walking, gardening or
Rabbi” Shmuley Boteach condemning Donald Trumps’s Rabbi Engelmayer has, as usual, written an instructive just reading a good book can produce the same result.
policy of separating children from parents at the Mex- piece on how to live a good life ( “Healthy living, the Talk therapy (chatting with a friend) is another way to
ican border. Hopefully, Sheldon Adelson will give the Torah way,” June 15.) In it, he cites seven guidelines vent pressure. Dr. Z’s favorite stress reduction method
good rabbi permission to take a stand against this that his physician (Doc A, we know who you are) has is long distance running and exercise, which also
immoral practice. given him. They are all excellent and we should fol- achieves stress reduction, over and above the obvious
Gerald Fischer low them. But he has left out one more, which might physical benefits of making the human machine hum
trump all the others. like a Swiss clock.
Teaneck Holocaust memorial Full disclosure. I spent the better part of my professional So, to my dear rabbi: Don’t forget about stress. And,
will be a gateway to learning life in the healthcare industry. Along the way, I met a num- by all means, do something about it. We should all
I was pleased to see coverage of the proposed Holocaust ber of experts in cardiology. One, who shall be known as examine what produces stress in our lives – and beyond
memorial and the proposed memorial for enslaved Afri- Dr. Z, stands out. Among other things, he was the head of compensating for it (with prayer, meditation etc.), seek
cans in last week’s paper. I feel that a few things were cardiology at Yale University medical school. ways to reduce it.
not fully fleshed out. From the perspective of the Holo- Dr. Z counseled that good heart health is always about Eric Weis
caust project, we are planning for this be a memorial risk factor reduction. Among the primary risk factors Wayne, NJ
important it is to deal with unresolved issues like these of the Atlantic and our caseworkers are ready to help
Graduates now, before you choose a spouse and start a family of 24/7m in Israel at 02-374-0175, 516-636-0175 or help@
FROM PAGE 27
your own because, as with so many other situations in amudim.org.il, and in the United States at call (201) 464-
For a variety of reasons, people who were abused as life, burying serious problems is a recipe for disaster 8000 or email NorthernNJ@amudim.org.
children often are afraid to speak up while they are liv- because they only come back to haunt you somewhere Mazel tov on this wonderful accomplishment and
ing at home, and over the past few years we have seen down the road. hatzlacha raba in your upcoming studies. I can’t wait to
many young adults who go away to Israel or anywhere So as you finish up your last finals and get ready to hear great things from you in the future.
else for a year finally seeking the help they need, now close the book on high school, I ask you to take these Best Wishes,
that they are in a safe environment. If you have an inci- fatherly thoughts to heart. Zvi Gluck
dent in your past that needs to be addressed, or there is Choose wisely when it comes to making new friends.
something going on in your school or in your life right Be prepared for the fact that some days are going to be Rabbi Zvi Gluck is the director of Amudim, an
now that sets off alarm bells, seek out someone you trust hard, and have solutions prepared to deal with them. organization dedicated to helping abuse victims
and tell them that you need their help. Or you can call Listen to those voices in your head that tell you that and those suffering with addiction within the Jewish
Amudim’s Israel office, which was created to deal with indulging in certain behaviors is not a good idea. Know community, and he has been involved in crisis
exactly these situations. who the trusted adults are in your school and speak to intervention and management for the past 18 years.
Know that far from feeling embarrassment or shame them if you need someone to pick you up when you’re Amudim has established a presence in Teaneck. For more
for things that may have taken place that were beyond feeling low or have unresolved issues that you need to information go to www.amudim.org, call (201) 464-8000,
your control, dealing with them head on is an act of discuss. And if you find yourself in need of more serious or email NorthernNJ@amudim.org.
incredible bravery. I cannot emphasize enough just how help, know that Amudim is there for you on both sides
T
many have — with the traditional Hebrew
hose who first sang “Go Down prayer to light candles, and the She-
Moses” did not need reminding hecheyanu blessing, recited to celebrate
of what slavery was like in Egypt. special occasions.
Their Moses was in fact alive, This seder, however, beyond provid-
and her name was Harriet Tubman. The ing feminine and humanist prayer alter-
water they waded into was not the Red Sea, natives, would offer many blessings for
but streams and rivers that allegedly threw those that came before them — stretching
the slave owners’ dogs off their tracks. back to Africa.
African-American liberation and the “We memorialize the ending of chattel
Exodus story are uniquely connected in slavery in the way we remember our lib-
spiritual inspiration and in embodying eration from Egypt because ritual is a form
resilience, yet never before have the sto- of collective, embodied memory,” read
ries been brought together and blended black Jewish activist Koach Frazier from
like they were at the Juneteenth seder the Juneteenth haggadah, which he co-
— the first of its kind — in New York City authored. “We embody our experiences
last week. as both slaves and people on a journey
Organized by New York City’s Jews For towards liberation.”
Racial and Economic Justice ( JFREJ), the Elijah and Miriam’s cup honored ances- Attendees at the Juneteenth seder put on by JFREJ, held alongside the East
June 14 seder utilized the rituals and tra- tors in the pan-African tradition. Frazier River in New York City on June 14, 2018. RAFAEL SHIMUNOV
ditions of Passover to celebrate “June- led the kiddush over the traditional four
teenth,” the liberation of African-Ameri- cups of wine, celebrating black forebears unfolding over several hundred years. Pharaoh and carry him to Batya. Water to
can slaves announced on June 19, 1865 in that fought for freedom like Frederick Ma nishtana, the seder asked next — why swallow up Pharaoh’s pursuing armies and
Galveston, Texas. Douglas, Fannie Lou Hamer, James Bald- is tonight different from all other nights? oceans to hold the nations of kidnapped
“We came together not just as black win, Audre Lord, and Sammy Davis, Jr. “This night is different because we take Africans destroyed by the Middle passage.
Jews or Jews of color, but with the entire “Our tradition tells us: ‘B’chol dor vador time for ourselves to revel in the liberation The currents that bore Robert Smalls to
community,” said the charismatic Yehu- chayav adam lirot et atzmo k’ilu hu yatza that is our birthright,” read JFREJ orga- freedom, and the undertow that forced
dah Webster, who co-founded JFREJ’s mimitzrayim,” the haggadah continued. nizer Leo Ferguson. He directed everyone the last breath from Emmett Till.”
Jews of Color caucus and was the seder’s “In every generation, each person must to ask among themselves what “a future Weaving these traditions and stories
MC of sorts. “We know that all of our lib- see themselves as if they had come out of of joy, freedom and collective liberation together was a powerful experience for
eration is tied together.” [slavery in] Egypt.” look[s] like,” pausing for individual con- many.
templation and group discussions. “I love Passover,” said Leo Ferguson.
A haggadah unlike any other The seder plate As the seder neared its conclusion, its “It’s my favorite Jewish holiday and it feels
JFREJ’s Jews of Color caucus led approxi- The Juneteenth seder plate recreated the narrative focused squarely on modern- very meaningful. But in a funny way, this
mately 200 people — black, white, Jew- traditional Passover symbols using culi- day injustices oppressing the black com- is the Passover that I think I always wished
ish, and non-Jewish — in a seder of their nary traditions of the American South munity. Reading from the haggadah, Rabbi to have — the music that was being played,
own design. The Juneteenth haggadah and Caribbean, emphasizing red foods as Barat Ellman addressed Jewish complicity the people around me, this is what I always
provided the blessings, rituals, and imag- is customary on Juneteenth to symbolize in and benefiting from white supremacy, longed for as a young person.”
ery of Passover that all Jews are familiar “ingenuity and resilience in bondage.” calling to begin black reparations in the For those in the black Jewish commu-
with, but with the content itself radically On this unique Seder plate, the z’roa form of divestments from oppressive sys- nity, the Juneteenth seder affirmed a more
reimagined. took the form of beets, a vegetarian sub- tems like mass incarceration and the New whole identity — and the perseverance it
The East River of Manhattan served stitute for the Passover shank bone. Okra, York Police Department. has required, past and present — among
the green vegetable brought over from Victoria Davis, the sister of Delrawn overlapping and separate communities.
West Africa to the American South, served Small, who was killed by an off-duty New “This was a chance to experiment with
as the karpas, or greens. York police officer during a road rage inci- something new,” said Ferguson. “When
Black eyed peas, which represents the dent last year, spoke earlier at the seder you look at the rate of young people leav-
new year in American Southern tradition, about her family’s struggle for justice. The ing Jewish institutional life, it feels like
was beitzah, the egg. Hot red pepper — officer remains on the NYPD payroll. such an important thing to realize that
what else? — induced maror’s bitter tears if we are to have a future as a commu-
of slavery. The baked sweet potato was Uniting a community nity that is multiracial and multiethnic,
charoset for its hardiness, and there wasn’t of many histories it reflects the way that young people are
matzah but cornbread: the poor bread that Frazier, who will begin studies at Recon- growing up with different identities.”
Southern slaves were able to make. structionist Rabbinical College in the Frazier said that through shared narra-
fall, led this eclectic congregation in the tives, this Juneteenth seder could trans-
Telling stories Hebrew blessings over the (corn)bread form what these identities fundamentally
past, present and future and wine (hibiscus tea) before the break mean.
“Tonight, we will hear stories of our ances- for the meal. “Freedom and liberation is a part of my
tors’ journey to freedom, like we hear As the sun set, and with the East River story as a black person, as a Jewish person,
every Passover,” announced Frazier. breeze sweeping across the crowd, soul as a black Jewish person,” said Frazier.
The Maggid, or story-telling portion of musician Ashley Philips concluded the “When we hear those stories, we envision
the seder, was carried out in the African- seder by leading an emotional rendition what it is like to be free, what it smells like,
American tradition of oral story-telling. of “Wade in the Water.” what it feels like. It is a recreation of Pass-
Yehuda Webster speaks at the June- Accompanied by the beat of a drum, “Water to speed our escape from Mitz- over. Just like on Passover, we are doing it
teenth seder put on by JFREJ, held these ancestral stories took everyone rayim [Egypt], halt our escapes from the today so that we can live in that liberation
alongside the East River in New York from Africa to slavery and eventually cotton fields,” read this first Juneteenth — rather than living in oppression.”
City on June 14, 2018. RAFAEL SHIMUNOV liberation, an exodus story of its own haggadah. “Water to deliver Moses to TIMES OF ISRAEL
P
arashat Chukat recounts one of and Aaron’s sister, died The death of Miriam at (m/r/y/m)” — a supportive and nurturing
the most dramatic and tragic and was buried in Kadesh. Kadesh no doubt left the peo- presence. The Hebrew word merivah (m/r/
episodes in Moses’ and Aaron’s Immediately thereafter, ple with a spiritual and emo- y/v/h) also calls forth the similar m/r/y of
tenures as leaders of the nation there was no water and the tional vacuum just as the loss Miriam and ha-morim. We may deduce that
of Israel. nation quarreled with their of “Miriam’s well” led to their the contentiousness of the people at mei
When the Israelites arrive at Kadesh in leaders. A midrash notes physical thirst. This was a merivah (m/r/y/v/h), and Moses’ dramatic
the fortieth year of their journey through that (although unstated in moment in which Moses and response in which he calls them ha-morim
the wilderness, the people complain of a the text) there is a connec- Aaron had the opportunity (m/r/y/m), were related to the recent loss of
lack of water. God commands Moses and tion between these events. to supply not only water but their beloved Miriam (m/r/y/m).
Aaron to gather the nation around a rock, The rabbis infer that it was Dean Rachel an extra dose of empathy — to The thirst of the nation of Israel at Kadesh,
speak to the rock before the people and in Miriam’s merit that a Friedman share their personal grief with which immediately followed the death of
bring forth water from the rock. Moses miraculous well followed Lamdeinu, a center the people, to rally the people Miriam the prophetess, was a moment of
for adult learning
draws water from the rock but something the people throughout their in Teaneck,
in a show of caring and unity. both physical and emotional emptiness
goes awry in the execution. Perhaps it is journeys in the wilderness, Orthodox Instead, Moses and Aaron flee for the people of Israel. But it was also an
in the angry words that he utters to the providing a plentiful supply the people to the ohel moed opportunity for Israel’s leaders to sanctify
nation or perhaps it is the fact that he of water, only to disappear or tent of meeting. Further- God’s name and solidify their connection to
strikes the rock, although not explicitly when Miriam died. more, God commands Moses and Aaron to the grieving nation. Sanctifying God’s name
commanded to do so by God. Surely, the loss of the prophetess Miriam speak in unison to the rock before the peo- is often about mediating miracles, but it
Whatever the exact cause, God declares caused not only physical thirst but great ple, presumably to announce the upcoming may also be about offering words of conso-
that Moses and Aaron have failed to sanc- grief to her family and nation. Piecing miracle. Instead, Moses speaks alone to the lation. It is ironic that the word Kadesh, the
tify God’s name before the nation of Israel. together the disparate references to Mir- people before the rock and his words con- location of Israel’s thirst and complaints in
As a result, they lose their privilege to lead iam in the Torah, we conclude that Miriam vey anger and frustration. Moses declares, Parashat Chukat, contains the same Hebrew
the people into the Promised Land. The was a woman of the people — a woman “shimu-na ha-morim; ha-min ha-sela ha-zeh letters — k/d/sh — as the word kadosh which
location becomes known as mei merivah who stood for and sustained all of the peo- notzi lakhem mayim?” “Listen now, O reb- means holy or sacred. Sadly, the waters of
— or waters of contention — reflecting the ple. She is Moses’ sister who watches him els, shall we bring forth water for you from Kadesh are remembered as mei merivah or
strife of the people. from a distance at the Nile River in a bas- this rock!?!” waters of contention, rather than as waters
What was so egregious about Moses’ and ket and arranges for his adoption by the It is striking that the Hebrew word for reb- of sanctification.
Aaron’s conduct that their punishment is daughter of Pharaoh. She leads the women els used by Moses is morim spelled m/r/y/m May it be our goal as Jews and human
the denial of the culmination of their life’s in song and dance at the crossing of the — the exact spelling in Hebrew of the name beings to address moments of challenge
work? Was it the slight transgression of Red Sea, celebrating the divine miracle of Miriam (m/r/y/m) — his recently deceased with acts of caring and words of comfort.
God’s precise instructions? Or did the epi- redemption and including the women as sister whose demise introduces the story May we strive to transform waters of con-
sode demonstrate the need for a new kind partners in that redemption. It is not sur- of mei merivah. The Torah uses words with tention into waters of unity and holiness.
of leadership? prising that when Miriam is afflicted with similar sounds and letters in order to con- Shabbat shalom.
I suggest a reading of the mei meri- leprosy for her criticism of Moses’ taking a vey subtle, textual messages. When Moses
vah episode based on its literary context Cushite woman (Bemidbar 12), the people utters, “listen rebels — ha-morim (m/r/y/m),” Dean Rachel Friedman is the founder of
and language. The Torah introduces the do not continue their journey until Miriam we are reminded that Moses and the peo- Lamdeinu, a center for Torah study in
story by telling us that Miriam, Moses’ returns to the camp. ple had just suffered the loss of “Miriam Teaneck.
Kid-watching as sport
P
eople-watching please have a napkin?”
is a very enjoy- the father asked. “Can you
able pastime. please take your scream-
But the best ing child somewhere else?
kind of people-watching We are trying to set up and
is the kind when you are your adorable kid is being
observing parents and sort of a distraction. You
their children but they know, with the blood and
don’t think anyone else is screaming and all that.” No,
watching them. For sure Banji I didn’t say that, silly goose.
you have been witness to Ganchrow But why were they so sur-
a fight between a mother prised when he did run into
and her daughter in the the table?
dress department of some store. Or a Here is a piece of advice. Don’t bring a
mother running after her toddler when 3-year-old to graduation!
he is only wearing one shoe. And pos- Yes, I am judging, but I can do that if
sibly no pants. I never brought a 3-year-old to gradu-
As the observer, you get a chuckle ation. Just like I can judge moms who
out of the situation — unless it hits too
close to home. And then you might
start to cry. In any event, last week, at a
graduation, does not matter which one,
some friends and I decided to observe After an in-depth
from afar, just to see how parents really
parent when there are so many people wipe of the nose,
around that they think no one is judging one cookie is
their parenting skills.
On the tables were cups of candy, touched, then
cookies, and fruit. another, then
Let’s see what happens.
Across
1. Dipped fruit
Down
1. Admits Three little boys start sticking their another, and
6. Dealer’s bane
10. Bad dreidel spin
2. Qualifying clause
3. Bat goo
hands in the cups of candy, put some in finally, a winner
their mouths, decide, “Naa, we don’t like
14. Former town employee
15. Inflatable things
4. “The”, to Éponine
5. ___ Pesach (busy day) this,” and spit it out and put it back in the is selected! He
16. One of four notable animals in 6. Yonah and Yaakov, e.g. cup. What does the mother do? Nothing! takes a bite and
She has her back turned and is having
Parashat Shemini
17. One who might have been offended by
7. From the top
8. Make a stink? a lovely conversation with someone she … nope, let’s put
the menu of 61-Across
20. Day before
9. CBS spinoff
10. “The West Wing” actor
probably doesn’t even like. that one back.
21. Britain’s last King Henry 11. Muslim’s journey Now these little gems decide to try
22. “Fannie” follower 12. Cause of an explosion? the cookies. After an in-depth wipe of
23. He played Bean, Button, and Black 13. Like a marriage during sheva brachot the nose, one cookie is touched, then nurse in public and moms who send
25. Midwestern city where 61-Across 18. Ocasek and others another, then another, and finally, a their kids to school the minute they are
occurred 19. Skateboarding apparel brand
winner is selected! He takes a bite and … in the recovery room.
30. Autocratic Russian rule 24. Braid or plait, e.g.
32. Batteries for remotes, perhaps 26. Notable idol nope, let’s put that one back. What does So watching all these things happen
33. Pal 27. Start of many an Arab name the mother do? Nothing! Now she is talk- was very humorous to us, again, because
34. Dermatology issues 28. Rabbi Yaakov ben Asher, AKA The ___ ing to someone else who she probably these weren’t our children. When your
35. Kind of tree 29. Israel’s protection: Abbr. doesn’t like! This is a fun activity. children get older, there is a whole new
36. Make like Doc Paskowitz 31. Book end?
Oh wait, these little guys are thirsty. set of things to worry about, which have
37. Menu item at 61-Across 35. Elrond, e.g.
41. They made a 42-Down obsolete 36. Curry’s are often far out Let’s see what happens when they go nothing to do with if they touch a cookie
44. Female warrior in two “Thor” movies 38. The ones that got away to the drink table. Don’t lift that bottle and don’t take it, or eat a piece of candy
45. Carlo, of Monaco 39. Place for VIPs? of soda, it’s too heavy for you, little guy! and put it back in the cup.
49. Aloof 40. Text message, formally and briefly Nope, we are going to lift it and proceed Though I really hope my boys aren’t
50. Dells, for short 41. Be into
to pour it in the cup, on the table, and doing that anymore, but with boys, ya
51. Nor’___ 42. See 41-Across
53. What many attendees at 61-Across 43. Colorful rug then on the floor. What does the mother never know.
were doing 46. Poseidon, to the Romans do? Do I really need to tell you? And even though I really wanted to go
56. Quick card game 47. Cut in thirds Now before graduation, when the over to the mom and give her the used
57. Jean who was the abba of Dada 48. Jamaica ___ (Queens neighborhood) room was being set up and everyone candy and “nose-covered” cookies, I
58. Blackens, in a way 50. Run well, as an engine
not setting up was supposed to be at the decided to keep my mouth shut (sur-
60. Org. that will check you out after you 51. Pave the way for
check in? 52. Indian city often used in crosswords actual graduation, there was a mom, prising, right?) And let the kids enjoy
61. Historic Hebrew Union College event 54. One of a notable seven from Israel dad, and little boy running around the their newfound freedom amongst all the
that occured on July 11, 1883 55. Home of the world’s first ghetto room. The little boy was screaming, adults. Because it is best to stay a kid for
66. Equal 59. Social climber, often the parents were chasing after him, it as long as humanly possible and that is
67. Little brook 61. Medicinal amt.
was tons of fun. Well, for me anyway, the truth. And even a real judge will tell
68. 1/8 cup 62. Habayit preceder
69. Cowboys and Indians, e.g. 63. Melodramatic, in slang because it wasn’t my kid. But then the you that…
70. Hog hang out 64. Like many an action star little cutie ran right into the edge of the
71. Schrute Farms vegetable 65. ““___ pasa?”” table because the parents were just let- Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is trying to
ting him do whatever he wanted, and figure out how to pack her kids for camp
The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 39 he started screaming at the top of his when no one will give her a straight
lungs, and there was blood. “Can we answer about anything.
Ellis Island cast of actors, from left, Lesley Fera, Samantha Sloyan, Kira Sternbach, Camryn
Manheim, Barry Bostwick, Lucas Near-Verbrugghe, and Michael Nouri on stage for Pacific
Symphony’s “Ellis Island: The Dream of America” by composer Peter Boyer. JOSHUA SUDOCK
CURT SCHLEIER interpret them, and bring them to life. coming from a family of immigrants. those words coming from poor immigrant
C
Although it probably isn’t surprising “They gave me that passage and asked children in a new land.”
amryn Manheim held it together, to people familiar with Boyer’s work, if I would be comfortable reading it. I She pauses for a second before
but viewers of the latest install- the three elements of “Ellis Island” are loved it. I loved being able to tell a story continuing: “I’m getting emotional just
ment of PBS’s magnificent Great exceptionally well integrated; like a so emotional with the backdrop of a thinking about it now.”
Performances series may not. perfectly machined motor, the pieces fit symphony. Manheim’s maternal grandparents came
The latest installment of the long- together smoothly. Equally impressive “I remember, we all got together the through Ellis Island. “Their names are
running series is a presentation of are the comments of these immigrants, day of the performance and waited in the probably displayed on the wall there,” she
Peter Boyer’s “Ellis Island: The Dream essentially uneducated people, proving wings. We walked out one by one, and it said. She was born in Caldwell and raised
of America,” a multimedia Grammy- you don’t need schooling to acquire was just a tidal wave of emotions. I can’t in a very secular — as she calls it, Jew-ish —
nominated composition that is among wisdom and common sense. really explain it to you, because I never family on the West Coast.
the most popular contemporary classical None more so than Manheim’s felt anything like it before: the power of Ironically, she and her siblings (she has
pieces in the symphonic repertoire. Katherine Beychok, who came to America a sister and brother) are more observant
It’s performed by the Pacific Symphony from Russia in 1910, when she was just 10 now. All their children (including her son
of Orange County, Calif., as part of its years old. Milo, an actor) became bar mitzvah, a
American Composers Festival, and is being “Hunger was a guest in everybody’s fact she attributes to the more welcoming
broadcast by PBS now in part to celebrate house,” she told the Oral History project. synagogues that have sprung up.
June as Immigrant Heritage Month. “The majority of the people were hungry “We were able to find a community
Boyer wrote “Ellis Island” in 2002. It is all the time. The only time there was relief in keeping with our beliefs and our
a work that soars to powerful crescendos from out poverty was on the Sabbath. The connection to Judaism,” she said.
and descends to emotionally resonating men came home from whatever they were Manheim has won many awards as
muted sections. On its own, it is a uniquely doing, studying or working for a living, and an actress (both a Golden Globe and
moving experience But the music is part of they put on whatever better clothes they an Emmy) but probably she still is best
a greater whole. had and got ready for the Sabbath. They known for her role as Ellanor Frutt on
Boyer uses archival photos flashed on went to shul, to synagogue, and when they “The Practice.” Today she spends much
a screen behind the orchestra and text came home, and that was the time we had of her time giving keynote addresses at
from the Ellis Island Oral History Project a big meal.” various Jewish federation functions and
to illustrate the experiences of seven Beychok’s father came to the States first, is involved in Bet Tzedek Legal Service,
immigrants who arrived in the United and when she landed, “this man came which provides pro bono assistance to
States between 1910 and 1940. forward, and he was beautiful. I didn’t people in need.
The immigrants chosen are know he was my father. I fell in love with “I talk about philanthropy and tikkun
representative of the immigrant influx him and he with me.” olam and basically thank the federation
during the three-decade period: Italian, In a telephone interview, Manheim Camryn Manheim performs the words for its amazing service to our community,”
Irish, and Jewish. Barry Bostwick, explained: “I was just asked if I could read of Russian immigrant Katherine she said. “There are so many wonderful
Michael Nouri, Lesley Fera, Lucas Near- the script and of course reading those Beychok in Pacific Symphony’s “Ellis stories. We just laugh and cry together.”
Verbrugghe, Samantha Sloyan, Kira beautiful firsthand accounts of going Island: The Dream of America” by Great Performances “Ellis Island: The
Sternbach, and Manheim do not so much through Ellis Island filled with fear and composer Peter Boyer. Dream of America” airs on Friday, June 29
recite the words, but re-enact them, hope and optimism, all that spoke to me, JOSHUA SUDOCK at 10 p.m. on PBS.
27 Blum, who will discuss her new book, “The Lost Family,” at JFNNJ
B’nai Jacob holds
Shabbat yoga services community members.
at Hamilton House, 10:30 headquarters in Paramus, 7:30 p.m. The sisterhoods of Temple Beth It would be helpful for
a.m. 255 Brunswick St.; Sholom of Pascack Valley in Park Ridge, Temple Emanuel of the donors to sort the clothing,
building entrance on 10th
Street where free parking
Pascack Valley in Woodcliff Lake, and Women of Chai of Temple Beth Tikvah of bag it by age and gender,
is available. Rabbi Aaron Wayne co-sponsor the talk with the federation. Admission includes the book, and label it. Do not leave
Katz, (201) 435-5725 or wine, cheese, and desserts. 50 Eisenhower Drive. (201) 820-3906 or jfnnj.org. bags outside the shul.
rabbiaaron1@gmail.com. Volunteers also are
Women’s song circle in needed to help sort and
Teaneck: Join a z’mirot House in Marlboro, N.Y., Paramus/Congregation then pack the clothing
COUNTY HISTORICAL SOCIETY
song circle, for women 1:30 p.m. Free tour of Monday Beth Tikvah, 11:30 a.m. from July 1 to 11, as well
COURTESY OF THE PASSAIC
only, at the Jewish Center the Gomez Mill House Kosher lunch and music
of Teaneck, 5-6 p.m. Use follows. Refreshments. JUNE 25 by Moshe Katzburg. East as to work during the
the ramp entrance on The Gomez Foundation 304 Midland Ave. Shari shopping days, which
70 Sterling Place. Email for Mill House works to Lunch and learn: Rabbi Brodsky, (201) 837-9090, are July 4 to 10. Shoppers
WomensZmirot+owner@ preserve the 300 year- Aaron Katz leads a lunch ext. 237 or sharib@
discussion on current can choose private or
groups.io. old Gomez Mill House, jfcsnnj.org.
the oldest standing topics at Congregation small group appointment
B’nai Jacob in Jersey times. No appointment
Sunday Jewish dwelling in North
America. 11 Mill House City, noon. $10. 176 West Friday is needed on the last two
JUNE 24 Road, off Route 9W, Sophia Agranovich Side Ave. (201) 435-5725 JUNE 29 days — Monday, July 9, 6-8
Marlboro, N.Y. or Info@bnaijacobjc.org.
(845) 236-3126 or Music in Paterson: Shabbat in Paramus: p.m., and Tuesday, July
Gomez.org. Award-winning
virtuoso pianist Sophia
Wednesday The JCC of Paramus/ 10, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.
JUNE 27
Congregation Beth Suggested prices are $1
Dance music in Franklin Agranovich returns to the Tikvah hosts an open-
Lakes: Temple Emanuel Lambert Castle Concert
per item; funds are donated
house dinner for
of North Jersey shows series at Lambert Café Europa in prospective religious to Yad Leah. Leftover cloth-
Gomez Mill House a video of a recorded Castle, 5 p.m. 3 Valley Paramus: Café Europa, school families and ing will be sent to Israel
concert with popular Road. Limited seating. a social program
Music in the Hudson their children, 4 to 13 through Yad Leah. To make
Valley: Singers/ dance band music from (973) 247-0085 or sponsored by Jewish years old, 6 p.m. East
the Roaring Twenties, lambertcastle.org. Family & Children’s an appointment to shop
songwriters, Lydia Adams 304 Midland Ave.
Davis, Pat Lamanna, and 2 p.m. Refreshments Services of Northern NJ Free, but reservations or for information, email
Jim Pospisil perform and ice cream. 558 High for Holocaust survivors, required. (201) 262-7733, childrensclothingdrive@
Mountain Road. (201) with funding from the email eduDirector@
handcrafted historical
Claims Conference,
gmail.com.
ballads at the Gomez 560-0200 or www.tenjfl. jccParamus.org, or www.
Foundation for Mill org. meets at the JCC of jccparamus.org.
COURTESY JCCOTP
from the alliance with the AARP and the nie Hunsinger, before presenting the
more than 260 communities around the mayor with a certificate commemorating
country that have also joined. The town- Teaneck’s membership in the network.
ship and Age-Friendly Teaneck initia- In addition to gaining access to aging
tive have worked together on a number experts and other professional resources,
Sacha Horter and Tilda Cobham-Hervey in “The Suitor” of efforts, from pledging to make streets participating communities can share ideas
more pedestrian-friendly to disseminat- and strategies, Hunsinger said. “They can
ing a resource guide and promoting key talk about what worked and best prac-
services to older adults. tices, and also about what didn’t work.”
The mayor said that he and the rest AARP surveys show that vast percentages
Conversation with an Israeli teen of the township council are committed
to addressing challenges faced by older
of older adults would prefer to remain liv-
ing in their communities as they age.
An Israeli teen who participated in Open NJ, formerly the Bergen County YJCC. adults and would welcome any sugges- Launched in early 2016 with funding
Hearts, Open Homes two years ago, will OHOH is a program that provides respite tions on how to assist elderly residents and organizational support from the
be at Temple Beth Or in Washington and comfort to disadvantaged Israeli who don’t have families nearby or other Henry and Marilyn Taub Foundation,
Township on Tuesday, June 26, at noon. teens victimized by terror and war. They needed support. Age-Friendly Teaneck has already been
She lives near the border of Gaza and will stay with local Bergen County host fami- “As mayor, I have seen that even working in partnership with other local
talk about the current situation in Israel. lies during the summer. something like getting your snow shov- communities with similar organizations.
The program is sponsored by the For information, elanaP@JCCNNJ.org or eled becomes a big deal for older resi- To learn more about Age-Friendly
Jewish Community Center of Northern register at JCCNNJIsrael.eventbrite.com. dents,” Hameeduddin said. Like most Teaneck, visit agefriendlyteaneck.org
from.” the necessary information and services for also developing innovative approaches to
Pre-registration required at jccotp.org/ early detection and prevention.” aging issues.
meditation. According to the National Institute on Bergen County residents interested in
For more information, call Hagit Tal Aging, Alzheimer’s is currently ranked scheduling an appointment with a repre-
at (201) 408-1477 or email her at htal@ as the sixth leading cause of death in sentative from the Act Now Foundation
jccotp.org. Participating at a JCC yoga class. the United States. But recent estimates can call (201) 336.-7400.
A
chologist who is also a member tine Mental Health Network.
s its name suggests, relation- of Jewish Voice for Peace. “The It attracted about 100 people,
ships are key to members of contention isn’t with every who filled a small conference
the International Association Israeli individual but proximity room and overflowed into
of Relational Psychoanalysts to dehumanizing I think geno- the hallway.
and Psychotherapists. cidal behavior which makes it “IARPP tried to intimidate
But there is one relationship some mem- politically destructive for the us and undermine our effort,”
bers want to sever: the one between the organization” to meet there. said Christine Schmidt, an
organization and Israel. Hoffman, 75, has not visited IARPP member, psychoanalyst
At its 2018 conference, held June 14-17 Israel since he was in college in Brooklyn and an organizer of
at a Midtown Manhattan hotel, a vocal and will not attend the confer- the parallel gathering. “There
minority of the association’s 2,200 mem- ence in Tel Aviv. He would not is significant interest in talk-
bers objected to next year’s gathering be permitted in Israel, he says, ing about Palestinian human
being held in Tel Aviv, with some pledg- because of his involvement with rights among IARPP mem-
ing to boycott it. The 100 people or so JVP. Having the conference there bers, and a lot of anger about
who attended a concurrent meeting in the “normalizes Israeli business as the censorship and shutdown
same hotel titled Voices of Palestine sug- usual,” he said. that have happened” at this
gested the objections aren’t marginal. “You wouldn’t have this meet- year’s conference.
To be sure, the IARPP is a relatively ing next to a concentration camp “People I know in Palestine
small professional organization — it is in Germany,” Hoffman said. Lewis Aron, left, founding IARPP president, and Steven have had family members mur-
dwarfed by the American Psychological The topic of holding the con- Kuchuck, the current president, at the group’s 2018 con- dered and have been forced to
Association’s nearly 116,000 members, for ference in Israel has been heated ference in New York City. DEBRA NUSSBAUM COHEN stand naked in the street,” said
instance — but this marks the first time that since it was proposed over a year Elizabeth Berger, a child psy-
boycotting Israel has become an issue out- ago, according to Kuchuck, a psychothera- and has written about Israel’s founding as chiatrist on the steering committee of the
side of academic and church groups and pist and psychoanalyst in New York City. the Nakba, or “disaster,” and a “stubborn U.S.-Palestine Mental Health Network,
the corporate world, according to people “We can only have conferences in cities trauma” for Palestinians. who also organized the parallel gathering
closely observing the Boycott, Divestment, with a lot of IARPP members and active Some IARPP members are refusing to at the IARPP conference.
and Sanctions, or BDS, movement. leadership,” he said. attend next year’s conference in an unof- “These atrocities occur on a policy-based
Backed by the pro-BDS group Jewish Other conferences have taken place in ficial boycott. wide scale which is denied,” Berger, who is
Voice for Peace, objectors and two dozen Australia, Rome, and Chile. Kuchuck said Limor Kaufman, an Israeli therapist liv- Jewish and not an IARPP member, told JTA.
Palestinian mental health professionals, only Israel has been controversial. ing and practicing in New York, said that “There’s a whole world of clinicians who
plus an Israel-based group called Psycho- Lewis Aron, IARPP’s founding president she knows colleagues who say they won’t live in the Middle East and [BDS] activists
active, sent letters to IARPP’s board asking and the director of New York University’s go, though they are all engaged in “a pro- who will be deprived of participation. It is
that the conference location be changed. A postdoctoral program in psychotherapy ductive, open dialogue” about it. for this reason that the State of Israel cannot
petition made the same point. and psychoanalysis, said “there aren’t a lot “I don’t support a boycott. It alienates be a platform for scholarly debate.”
Some communications asked that the of objections to having it in the U.S. despite the very people who need support, human The idea that those who oppose having
conference be moved to Cyprus or Jor- the Trump administration’s policies.” rights workers and the people in favor of a the conference in Tel Aviv would not be
dan. Another proposal was that it be held Kuchuck said Israel’s IARPP chapter two state solution,” she said. permitted entry to Israel because of the
in Nazareth, an Arab city inside Israel until recently was the second largest out- “Most members of the Israel chapter Israeli government’s BDS blacklist is incor-
proper, or on the border between east- side the United States with 160 members. are very liberal. There is also so much rect, said one expert.
ern and western Jerusalem, so the con- Australia’s chapter now has 170 members. misinformation about the Israel-Palestin- “Everyone’s protesting that they’ll be
ference would contribute to the Palestin- The organization’s popularity in Israel is ian conflict” among those favoring boy- barred. But I’ve had conversations with
ian economy. rooted by its people’s fondness for psycho- cott, Kaufman said. “They think Israel is the ministry on this issue and it’s not mem-
The IARPP declined to change the loca- analysis and psychoanalytically oriented this humongous superpower. It’s hard to bers, it is leaders” of BDS advocacy groups
tion from Tel Aviv. therapies, said Aron, offering that it was understand Israel’s vulnerability.” who would be stopped, said Kenneth
“The Board engaged in an open and frequently said that immigrants to Israel Whether there will be a wider official Waltzer, executive director of the Aca-
deliberative process before deciding to arrived “from Europe with Marx in one boycott is not yet clear. demic Engagement Network, an organiza-
hold the conference in Israel,” Steven hand and Freud in the other.” “It will depend to a large degree on what tion of university professors that opposes
Kuchuck, IARPP’s president, wrote in a “Analysts are active in the media, and a our Palestinian colleagues ask of us,” said boycotts of Israel and advocates for aca-
recent letter to members. “If we chose our good number have columns and write for an Israeli therapist in private practice in demic freedom.
conference locations by judging the politi- the general press,” he told JTA. “Analytic Tel Aviv who describes herself as an anti- Co-chairs of the Tel Aviv conference next
cal decisions of national governments, books commonly appear in the windows occupation activist and BDS proponent. year already are starting to coordinate
we might well have a hard time finding of bookstores.” “We may attend and facilitate workshops entry permits for mental health profes-
an ideal setting that would fit everyone’s Israeli accents were heard virtually on the occupation, or only come to the sionals from the west bank and overseas
preferences and values. To allow our orga- everywhere at the Roosevelt Hotel confer- opening to relay the message from the Pal- who want to attend but might otherwise
nization to single out one country for a ence, which was titled “Hope and Dread: estinian colleagues. This is not yet known.” face difficulty, Kuchuck told JTA. There
boycott would be to practice the politics of Therapists and Patients in an Uncertain The therapist did not want to be named, will also be pre-conference opportunities
exclusion. Boycotts will not help us fulfill World.” Israeli therapists spoke on many of saying it is dangerous to identify as a BDS for participants to visit the west bank and
our central mission: promoting values that the panel discussions and frequently asked activist in Israel. checkpoints and dialogue with Palestin-
are integral to the creative development of questions as audience members. “We want to protest the normalization ians, he said.
relational psychoanalysis.” The conflict was addressed directly and of the occupation and the increasing vio- The last time an IARPP conference
Now those objecting to having a con- indirectly in a few of the sessions, includ- lence happening now,” she said, referring was held in Israel was a decade ago and
ference in Israel are accusing the rela- ing one on Sunday morning titled “Bridg- to the number of Palestinians injured and included similar activities.
tional psychology group of “silencing pro- ing a Sea of Fire.” Panelists included killed during at times violent demonstra- “People went home with a much richer
tests” and “responding like an arm of the American Jewish and Israeli psychother- tions at Gaza’s border with Israel. understanding of how complicated the sit-
Israeli government.” apists, as well as Manal abu Haq, who The Voices on Palestine meeting held at uation there is,” Kuchuck said.
Meeting in Israel is “implicit support works in eastern Jerusalem and Ramla the same time as the IARPP conference in JTA WIRE SERVICE]
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