uffy, the world’s most

investigation involving home

invasions, where the suspect is
popular vampire slayer 20 years
breaking into homes and consuming
ago, woke up from her coma this all of the homeowner’s food. It also
morning to find Rick Grimes, the
destroyer of zombies, standing in
her room. Quick conversation
was had about the worlds
situation today and Buffy offered
her skills as assistance right away.
A confused Rick looked at her and
asked, “Didn’t you hear what I
said? No
one cares
about
vampires appears that Arnold has now teamed
anymore, up with 19-year-old, Brick Heck! The
we’re two have been spotted invading
fighting homes together. Heck has been seen
zombies on camera footage, whispering to
lady! I’m himself. Everyone should be on the
only in lookout for this team of home
your room to gather supplies.” invaders. They do not appear to be
dangerous, but they are hungry!
___Reported by Savannah Kennedy
___Reported by Allison Warrick

evin Arnold, one of TV’s

ne bright sunny California day,

most well-known teenagers from Dwayne Johnson was taking a casual

the past, has recently become one walk on Hollywood Blvd, he was
of the main suspects in a new swarmed by some of his fans and some
paparazzi, while signing some

autographs and posing for pic with
fans, he all of a sudden started feeling
weird. Mr. Johnson then disappeared.
Everyone was confused where he
went. One of his fans looked down
and Mr. Johnson turned into a rock!!!!
___Reported by Dana Pfannkuchen
etty White has come out from
the “closet”. Betty White was born
during 1922 a time where liking the
opposite gender was considered
inappropriate. Betty White is
considered America’s sweetheart so
coming out
would have
been a major
tragedy for
many
Americans,
but recently
Betty has
gotten tired of
hiding herself
for Americans. “I lived my life hiding
and I pretended to be someone I was
not, I am now going to live my life as I
wish with my girlfriend, Veronica.”
Betty has lived her life living up to
America’s standards so at the age of
96, Betty has the right to live as she
pleases and with whoever she wants.
___Reported by Betsy Reyna
veryone remembers the overly
amazing Disney group THE CHEETAH
GIRLS! It was a very sad time for all of
us Cheetah Girls fans when we were
told our favorite girl group were
splitting up. Some of us had no hope
they would make their way back to
each other, but THE TIME HAS
FINALLY COME. Our favorite 4 girl
group are returning to us with an epic
tour. It is said the 4 cheetahlicious girl
will be starting off their reunion tour
with the only and only Beyoncé. This
tour is set be scheduled for the
upcoming year with many different
special guests. It is also said the girl
group will be coming out with a new
album to debut before their tour
begins, while hitting up with some
classics! Tickets are going up for
presale by the end of this summer, so
everyone grab their cards and get
ready for the most epic concert of
2019!
___Reported by Adamarys Hernandez
teve Urkel, the eccentric nerdy
teenager from Family Matters, finally
decided to pack his bags and move
away. He decided to rent an the Star! We have found both sea
apartment in the big city in hopes of creatures alive and well living in an
achieving his scientific goals. Upon oversized aquarium owned by Scooby
entering his new home, he was Doo himself. Last week both Mr.
delighted to find out that the Square Pants and Mr. Star were
neighbors are the physics geniuses reported missing and presumed dead
Leonard and Sheldon from the “Big after they had been swept away by a
Bang Theory”. Steve was happy to hurricane. It now appears to be a hoax
finally be intended to regain popularity for the
with people long-forgotten cartoon Scooby Doo
almost as and Friends.
awkward as
___Reported by Dennis Young
him, and as
smart as
him. The
connection
between the
trio was atdog has been found! Catdog
immediate
and resulted has been missing for the last thirteen
in a years after their last episode
combined 7 shooting in 2005. Catdog was
Nobel prizes, discovered in this week’s episode of
many discoveries that are bound to Naked & Afraid. This episode’s duo,
change the world for better, and Fat Albert and Scarlett Johansson, are
countless romantic failures. set on an
Sometimes neighbors can be a island
nightmare, but in Urkel’s case, they way out
were a dream come true. in the
___Reported by Ashley Abada Atlantic
Ocean
and as
like
every
episode
his are
completely nude. Everyone thought
week SMG this episode would be popular because
news has of the gorgeous Fat Albert, but HEY
uncovered HEY HEY, they found Catdog! Scarlett
shocking found the beloved strange half cat and
details about half dog creature stuck in a giant
what really Black Widow’s web while she was
happened to scavenging for food in the forest.
Sponge Bob Scarlett knew she had to avenge them.
Square Pants During the time, Fat Albert was
and Patrick laying in their camp dreaming of his
friends back in Philadelphia after he
was knocked out cold by a coconut.
Find out why Catdog was on this
.T. was found at Area 51! Our
island in next week’s newspaper!
___Reported by Andrew Minear
beloved alien from the 80's is REAL.
We all believed that the last time we'd
say goodbye to E.T. was 36 years ago.
He was being held captive right under
our noses. Unfortunately, my source
esterday has asked to remain anonymous just
for the sake of his life. What my
evening two of
cartoon most
notorious cartoon

characters got into a huge blowout. source revealed to me was that he

Dexter from Dexter’s laboratory and came across this facility in Area 51
Buttercup from the Power Puff Girls and he heard a familiar voice, he
got into a pretty big situation. Bubbles couldn't believe his ears. From what
was walking down the street and he described to me, E.T. was being
bumped into a girl named Dee Dee. questioned and terrorized by these
When they saw each other, they men. Stay tuned for more on this
started giggling about their blonde developing story....
pigtails. Then buttercup came flying ___ Reported by Daniela Herrera
down and started roasting them on
how dumb they sound. Not to long
after bubbles started crying and Dee
Dee lasered buttercup right in the eye.
Dexter was speed walking down the
street with a very annoyed look on his
face. “DEE DEE DID YOU STEAL MY
LASER!!!” Dexter screamed as he
quickly walked towards her. Dee Dee
took off and has been missing for 2
days.
___Reported by Acacia Magee