Beyond the Pines

Matthew B. Morrell
Episode 01 - "Whirled Away"

Based on "Gravity Falls" By Alex Hirsh

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Morrell.10907@gmail.com
EXT. TRILLION PINES YOUTH CAMP - FIELD - TWILIGHT
Surrounding a wide open soccer field covered in patches of
mist, tall pine trees rustle and shift ominously in the
wind. Suddenly a BLACK SWIRLING MASS darts across the field
and into the woods. A GHOST WHITE GIRL (Nora N. Woods, 14)
in violet pajamas runs after the mass.
NORA
Come back! Come back with my little
sister!

The BLACK MASS and Nora disappear into the fog.

INT. TRILLION PINES YOUTH CAMP - HITCHCOCK DORMS - SAME
On the bottom bunk closest to the window, a YOUNG MAN (Mason
’Dipper’ Pines, 22) sleeps with a Blue Bruin’s Cap covering
his face.
A frantic KNOCKING on the window causes him to spring awake
and fall out of bed.

MABEL
(Mock whisper)
Dipper! Are you awake?!
Sliding open the window with one hand, Dipper’s head slowly
rises to meet his SISTER (Mabel Pines, 22).

MASON
No, Mabel, I am not awake.
MABEL
’Kay, great. So the Tiny Cousins
are missing because ghosts. Kind of
an emergency. Could ya help a
sister out? PLEASE?
Dipper digests the information, then adjusts his cap.

MASON
Tiny Cousins missing. Ghosts. Fine.
Now I’m awake.
Dipper leaps through the window and the Mystery Twins take
off running toward the dark, haunted field.
- ROLL OPENING CREDITS -
FADE IN:
 2.

EXT. IRVINE HIGH SCHOOL - EARLY MORNING

Early morning sun breaks over the mountains as a half dozen
cars riddle the nearly empty parking lot.
A CAMP COUNCILOR (Major Darren Graham, 34) stands beside the
open door frame of a yellow school bus and cups his hand to
his mouth.
MAJOR
Kiss your parents goodbye folks,
for the next seven days, I am your
daddy. Everyone on the bus. Double
time! Move it, move it, move it!
From the crowd milling about by the loading zone, a half
dozen HIGH/MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS file onto the bus. Each
student gives The Major a salute or high five except for
Nora. The last GIRL (Katrina Woods, 13) looks like she
should be in elementary school. She greets Darren with an
odd smile.
MAJOR
It’s an hour and a half ride up the
mountain, you remember to use the
little girl’s room, Kat?
KAT
Yup. The pale lady in the mirror
told me when I’m going to die.
MAJOR
Great. Get on the bus.

KAT
’Kay.
MABEL (O.S.)
Look at ’em all; so tiny, so
precious...

Leaning against a war-torn red truck is a cheery brunette

YOUNG WOMAN (Mabel Pines 22) wearing a pink USC swoop-neck
shirt, purple skirt, and black Capri pants. She taps the
voice recorder in her right hand against her left palm.

MABEL
...So much teen angst ready to be
analyzed and studied. This was a
great post-grad idea, Bro-Bro Cop!
 3.

Tossing luggage into the rear of the truck, a YOUNG MAN

(Mason ’Dipper’ Pines, 22) wears grey cargo pants, a red
t-shirt, and a BLUE UCLA BRUINS HAT. He wipes his forehead
revealing a birthmark of the big dipper.
MASON
(Panting)
Yeah. You’re welcome. Bags heavy.
Please help.

Mabel is already in the truck and starts the engine. She

leans out the window.
MABEL
I’ll keep the truck nice an’ cool
for ya. Don’t work too hard!
Pressing her hands up against the window in the shape of a
heart, Mabel rolls up the window with her elbow. Dipper
shakes his head, grins, and keeps loading.

EXT./INT. 91 FREEWAY - MABEL’S TRUCK - MORNING/LATER

A multitude of traffic encases the red truck and bus.
Dipper has his feet up on the dash as he cleans out his
camera, Mabel rocks out to an Eighties jam on the radio.

MASON
Hey, Mabel?
MABEL
Yeah, Dip?

MASON
You feel bad about making our
cousins take the bus?

MABEL
The Teeny-Tiny Cousins are fine,
Dipper. The bus ride up to camp is
all part of the grand experience.
EXT./INT. 91 FREEWAY - BUS - SAME

The sheer volume of noise in the bus is maddening. Sitting

with her body in the fetal position pressed against the
window, Nora’s slight goth frame trembles as she turns the
volume up on her Walkman: her face shows the headphones
aren’t helping.

Beside Nora, a pair of feet wearing mismatched unicorn socks

jumps up and down on the seat.
 4.

KAT
Nora, look, it’s like a bouncy
castle, ON WHEELS!
Nora’s eye twitches.

EXT. MOUNTAIN SIDE FREEWAY - LATER

The Bus and Red Truck snake their way up through the
gorgeous and treacherous mountain side highway. They pass a
sign held in a wooden bear statue’s jaws--

--"Welcome to Trillion Pines Youth Camp!"

EXT. TRILLION PINES YOUTH CAMP - PARKING LOT - NOON
Mable’s Truck and the bus pull into the parking lot among
dozens of other buses and a sea of TEEN STUDENTS.
As the bus parks and the door flies open, a window towards
the back opens up and Nora slips out.
Landing awkwardly on the pavement, Nora takes in her
surroundings with disdain--
-Giant soccer field-
-Three massive, wood cabin style dorm buildings-

-Olympic sized pool next to a basketball gym-

and a quaint Snack Shack.
Kat pops up behind Nora and exclaims--

KAT
It’s perfect!
NORA
It’s prison.

KAT
Prisons don’t have all these trees,
or lack of bars, No-Fun-Nora.
Nora growls, but Kat sprints away.

KAT
Detective Mason!
Mason catches Kat as she launches herself towards him.
 5.

MASON
Whoa, easy there Kit-Kat. How was
the ride up?
NORA
AMAZING! We sang songs SO loud!
Mabel extends the black/duct-tape duffel bag out to Nora and
reads the expression on the younger teen’s face.
MABEL
I’m afraid to ask.
NORA
(Dry as toast)
They sang songs SO loud.

Mason puts a reassuring hand on Nora’s shoulder.

NORA
And a baby bird hit the window.
KAT
We should have a bird funeral to
celebrate our first day of camp!
Looking down at Nora, Mason gives a weak smile.
MASON
Trust me, it’ll feel good to unplug
from everything for a few days. It
won’t be all noise and-
EXT. AMPHITHEATER - LATER

CAMP DIRECTOR TAG, 26 and A-Type Jock/Councilor, sounds an

airhorn through a megaphone and whoops wildly.
TAG
Are you campers ready to bring ALL
the noise?!
Assembled and crammed into stone benches under canvas sails
sit HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS who all SCREAM. Sitting in the back
row next to an enthusiastic Mable and Kat, Nora glares at
Mason.

Tag motions for silence. The crowd obeys.

TAG
Now for my favorite part of the
camp... THE RULES!
 6.

The crowd CHEERS. Mason and Nora roll their eyes; Dipper
slightly more bemused than annoyed. Kat, now sitting on
Mabel’s shoulders, cheers wildly.
TAG
Here to help us with the rules, the
camp mascot, Trillion Ton Bear!
Out from the wings of the stage, a guy in a FAT BEAR SUIT
lumbers on stage to APPLAUSE and CHEERS.

TRILLION
Listen up ya rascals; shut yer
mouths an’ open yer ear holes.
As Trillion explains the rules, a slide show plays beside
him of a camper breaking the rules, followed by that camper
getting mauled by Trillion.
TRILLION (V.O.)
Rule One, respect all camp leaders,
staff, and fellow campers. Two,
stay within the camp boundaries.
Three, no going out after curfew
bell. Four, no swimming after dark.
Five, guys stay out of the girl
cabins and vice-versa. Six, no
rough housing... except for in the
Rough House. Finally, rule seven,
same as the first, obey camp staff
at all times.
NORA
They had to put that in twice?

Mason gives Nora a nod.

MASON
No, but enough campers didn’t think
obedience and respect were similar
enough, so they had to clarify.
NORA
You a lawyer or a detective?
MASON
I’m your friendly camp volunteer
until I start work next week.
TAG
Alright, you freaks of the forest,
get your gear stowed in your
cabins; free play until dinner!
 7.

EXT. BUNKHOUSE TRAIL - LATER

Mason, Mabel, Kat, and Nora all march through the herd of
CAMPERS heading to the bunk houses.
CAMPER #1
I heard the cabins are all haunted.
CAMPER #2
Nah, just the Kubrick Cabin.
CAMPER #3
Legend says Maggie Sewer will knit
your nose and mouth shut while you
sleep.

Kat gives Mabel a worried look.

MABEL
Trust me, if there are any ghosts
here, they are more afraid of me
and Dipper than you are of them.
Mason shrugs and smiles.
MASON
We survived four years of this
place in high school; no ghosts.
CAMPER #3
Dudes, look, it’s those two from
the Wall of Fame!

CAMPER #2
Whoa, I heard she beat up a unicorn
with her bare fists.
CAMPER #1
They say that guy actually murdered
a ghost.
Nora raises a skeptical eyebrow toward Mason.
MASON
I might have helped a ghost die?
KAT
But you said--
MABEL
That was a whole other place, a
long time ago. Don’t worry your
scruffy little head about it. Race
you for the best bunk!
 8.

Mabel and Kat run off towards the Hitchcock Dormitory. Mason
looks to Nora.
MASON
What ya got there?

Before Nora crinkles up the paper into a ball, we see that

it reads-- "Rules to Break" as the header.
NORA
Just a to-do list.

EXT. HITCHCOCK DORM - SAME

Kat is slightly ahead of Mabel as they reach the dorm, but
before she tags the door--

A crow falls dead at Kat’s feet.

MABEL
Awww, poor baby bird.
KAT
Yay, now we can have an open casket
for the bird funeral!
Mabel gives Kat a goofy grin before her attention is
diverted to the intercom mounted on the dorm wall.

TAG (V.O.)
Attention, Attention; all camp
councilors, staff meeting in five
minutes. Mandatory, mandatory
meeting, WOO! Be there! I am so
CAFFEINATED right now! WOO!

Mabel looks down to Kat.

MABEL
You gonna get your stuff crammed
into your bunk, kiddo?

Kat has a miniature trowel and the crow nestled inside a

shoebox crafted into a tiny coffin. As she runs off towards
the woods, Kat calls back...

KAT
Bags can wait, bird funeral first.
 9.

EXT./INT. STAFF LODGE - AFTERNOON

The staff lodge, a two-story wooden chapel no bigger than a
racket ball court with a bell tower sits in the dead center
of camp.
INSIDE - Mabel opens the door. She’s the last to arrive and
it’s standing room only. Tag is in the center of the room
lecturing.

TAG
--which is my favorite program here
at camp; Fun and Order.
Mabel spies Dipper across the room and squeezes her way
through the crowd. Having reached Mason, Mabel whispers-
MABEL
I thought we were gonna ditch and
go swim?

Mason shrugs and leans back against the wall with Mabel.
INT. HITCHCOCK DORM - SAME
Inside the rustic dorms, large bunk beds fill the room with
space to spare; four rows of two bunk columns. Nora lies
face up on the furthest bunk from the door.
She’s reading her list.
NORA
Seven rules to break. Seven days of
camp. I like those odds.
A commotion out the window catches Nora’s eye. She GROANS
and frowns at the sight.

EXT. SOCCER FIELD - SAME

At the head of the field, Kat stands before a family of
squirrels, a baby dear, and a rabbit as she gives her eulogy
for the crow.

KAT
Some knew him as Reynard the Raven,
but there are those birds of the
mountain who called him, ’friend.’
LANA (O.S.)
What are you doing Fresh-meat?
The woodland creatures scatter as Kat confronts THREE
OBVIOUS BULLIES (LANA 16, SHIRLEY 17, and MONA 15).
 10.

KAT
Did you gals come to pay your
respects?
SHIRLY
Respects?
MONA
It’s just a stupid bird.
Kat covers the ears of the dead crow and gasps.

KAT
He wasn’t stupid. They were just
really clean windows, it could have
happened to any bird.

LANA
Oh, well, if you’re trying to have
a bird funeral, you’re doing it all
wrong.
Mona and Shirley give Lana a confused look. She winks.

LANA
It’s against camp rules to bury
birds out in the open. You have to
flush them.

Kat cocks her head to the side and raises an eyebrow.

KAT
That’s not very dignified.

LANA
Yeah, well it’s the rules. Come on
ladies, let’s show her the right
place to dispose of the remains...
sorry, the departed.

KAT
Oh, thanks!
Kat trails after Lana, while the other two girls snicker
following close behind.

Watching from the rear window of the Hitchcock dorm, Nora

rolls her eyes and sighs. Suddenly, another two birds SLAM
into the window startling Nora.
 11.

INT. STAFF LODGE - SAME

Mabel sits on Dipper’s shoulders with both resting up
against the cabin wall. They look bored to death.
Tag explains his powerpoint slide.

TAG
It’s a circle of trust AND
discipline. Remember to always
circle back to discipline.

Mabel taps Dipper on the forehead, points to the open window

on the second floor, then reaches into her pocket to subtly
withdraw her grappling hook.
Dipper considers, then waves her off.

MASON
You think the girls are okay?
MABEL
They’re definitely having more fun
than we are right now.
EXT. THE HAUNTED BATHROOM - LATER
Kat stands in front of a dilapidated bathroom in the middle
of the woods. The Three Bullies stand close behind her.

LANA
Well, go on in.
KAT
In there?

Ominous forest noises and a rustling of leaves in the wind

make the decrepit bathroom all the more unsettling.
MONA
That’s where we all the dead
animals at camp are buried.
SHIRLY
Some say, at night, those animals
buried here come back to collect
the bones of any animals that are
buried anywhere else.
LANA
Yeah, then they come for the bones
of the little girls who buried them
the wrong way.
 12.

Kat gulps and looks back at the girls, then timidly walks
into the bathroom. As she disappears into the loathsome
lavatory, the Bullies burst into laughter.
INSIDE - Kat cautiously steps over puddles, splintered wood,
and what are most definitely animal carcasses.
KAT
Someone definitely forgot to give a
courtesy flush. You poor deer.

Kat looks to her right find a surprisingly clean PINK

BANDANA hung up on a towel rack. She uses it to cover her
nose and mouth from the stench.
Looking down into the over flowing toilet, then to the bird
in her hands.
KAT
Well, it’s like the olde saying, a
bird in the bowl is worth two in
the bush. Goodbye, friend.

Gently placing the bird in the bowl, Kat flushes. To her

shock, the toilet works, but a DEEP GROWL and soon a
mournful WAILING come up from the pipes. It grows and grows
as Kat hurridly backs up to the door.

The bathroom door suddenly slams shut. Kat desperately

pounds on the rusted metal.
KAT
Girls! Someone? Anyone? HELP!

INT. STAFF LODGE - SAME

Tag is still rambling on. Mabel is asleep still sitting on
Dipper’s shoulders. She almost falls off when Mason catches
her. The commotion disrupts Tag.

TAG
EXCUSE ME! Did you have something
to add, Mister...?
MASON
Pines. Mason Pines.
A MURMUR spreads around the shack among the other STAFF.
MASON
Yeah, last time I was here, kids
could roam freely in the woods.
What’s with all the extra rules?
 13.

TAG
Well, Mason, we in the modern age
actually care about our campers
safety first. That okay with you?
MABEL
No! It’s actually SUPER boring.
(Beat)
So, when’s dinner?

EXT./INT. HAUNTED BATHROOM - SAME

Mona has her full weight on the door. The other two hold
back a laughing fit.

NORA (O.S.)
Hey!
Standing behind the bullies, Nora is wrapping up her
knuckles with duct tape. She uses her teeth to cut the
excess tape off and spits it out on the ground.

NORA
Rule six: only fighting at camp
happens in the Rough House.
LANA
Who are you?
NORA
Someone who’s way too impatient to
take Y’all to the Rough House, so I
figure we’ll all throw down right
here. Or, you let my little sister
out of that dank bathroom.
Lana yawns and motions for the tall and lanky Shirly to take
care of Nora.

Stalking up to her opponent, Shirly is almost immediately

caught by her curly hair and Judo-Tosses aside like a
telephone pole by the scrappy Nora.
Panting, Nora looks up to Lana.

NORA
Who’s next; Prada or panda bear?
LANA
Bored now. Come ladies.

Lana leads the girls away. Nora walks over to the bathroom
and opens the door to a sobbing Kat.
 14.

NORA
Come on, up ya go.
KAT
Nora? It’s like a really angry Pet
Cemetary in there.

NORA
Whatever, let’s get you back to
camp.

Kat climbs on Nora’s back and the two hike up the trail.
From back in the campground, the dinner bell RINGS.
INT. DINNING HALL - NIGHT
CAMPERS file through the buffet line. At the end of the
line, past a few round wooden tables, sits Mabel, Dipper,
Nora, and Kat.
MABEL
So, how was free play?

NORA
Sucked.
KAT
Sucked.

MASON
Sucked.
MABEL
Yeah. Same. It’s like the new
staffers are vampires of fun, they
sucked it all right out of our
camp.
MASON
Things change, Mabel.

A TRIO of RANDOM CAMPERS passes by the PINES’ and WOODS’.

CAMPER #3
Dude, it’s the guy who wrestled a
bear.

CAMPER #2
I heard it was like six bears.
CAMPER #1
No, stupid, it was one bear with
six heads.
 15.

The Random Trio passes, and Nora glares accusingly at Dipper

and Mabel.
NORA
Okay, what is it with you two?

MASON
We used to go on adventures an’
stuff. Same as everyone.
MABEL
Um, we did kinda save the universe
though. So there’s that.
MASON
We helped a small town in Oregon.
But you know, everyone’s gotta grow
up eventually.
KAT
Is that why you became a forensic
detective instead of a ghost
hunter?

NORA
Ghost hunter?
DIPPER
Turns out, a lot more people get
hurt by real people than anything
supernatural. Seemed like a better
fit.
Mabel frowns and slouches in her chair.

KAT
But what if ghosts come after us at
camp? Specifically, dead woodland
creatures whose souls are eternally
trapped in a nasty bathroom?

Nora cracks her knuckles.

NORA
Ain’t nothing here but bullies and
bullies aren’t a problem I can’t
solve... with my fists.
Councilor Tag wanders by the table and notices Kat’s dirty
face and Pink Bandana and Nora’s wrapped knuckles.
 16.

TAG
You better be keeping an eye on
your students, Mason, or I’ll send
you packing. Clear?

MASON
(Snorts)
Crystal.
EXT./INT. HITCHCOCK DORM - SAME

CAMPERS file up the wooden ramp to the dorm’s main entrance

past Major Graham who holds the door open.
MAJOR
Remember rule five Y’all; guys are
blue, girls are pink, so no making
purple or we send you home.
Nora and Kat file upstairs with the girls. Mabel sticks
behind with Dipper in the foyer.
MABEL
Mason?
MASON
Yeah, Starlight?
The two walk towards the corner of the foyer.

MABEL
Everything okay upstairs in the big
brain of yours?

MASON
Just thought maybe going back to
our roots would bring back...
something? Something good.
MABEL
Like what?
MASON
I dunno. I kinda miss it,
sometimes, ya know? The weirdness?

Mabel nods, sighs.

MABEL
You said it first; things change.
But, you’ll always have the
weirdness in here.
 17.

Mabel points to Dipper’s heart. He looks down and Mabel

drags her finger up and flicks her brother’s nose.
MABEL
WHOMP. Night, Dip.

Tipping his Bruins Cap.

MASON
To a peaceful week.

OUTSIDE - Three crows crash into the side of the dorm. Then
Two. Then Five: One. Two. Three. Four. Five more crows, one
by one.
INT. HITCHCOCK DORM - LATER

Across from Mabel, Kat is on the bottom bunk under Nora. Her
eyes are wide open. She hears the THUMP, THUMP, THUMP on the
cabin wall outside.
Slowly, Kat swivels out of bed and tiptoes to the window.

Cupping her hands over the glass to see, Kat’s eyes grow
wide in horror. There’s an ever-growing sound of CAWING
outside.
She backs up from the window only to have it burst inward; a
great black swirling mass surrounds her. Other GIRLS in the
cabin scream in terror.
By the time Nora turns on the lights, Kat is gone.
Without hesitation, Nora runs towards the window, grabs
Mabel’s grappling hook from under the bunk, and rappels out
the window.
MABEL
Nora! Kat!
(Panicked)
DIPPER!
EXT. SOCCER FIELD - LATER
Nora runs after the black mass. Dipper, wearing his
signature blue vest, and Mabel follow close behind.
 18.

EXT. THE HAUNTED BATHROOM TRAIL - SAME

Nora pushes her way past a low branch and stops dead in her
tracks at the edge of the clearing. Her jaw hits the floor.
Swirling around the dank bathroom is a multitude of woodland
spirits; deer ghosts, undead squirrels, and one giant
phantom rabbit starring up at the moon.

Before Nora can scream a pair of hands pull her back behind
the brush. The hands belong to Dipper and Mabel who calm a
freaked out Nora.
NORA
What even is that, that--

MABEL
Whatdya got, Dip?
Out from his vest, Dipper pulls out HIS JOURNAL with a
golden pine tree emblem on the cover. He thumbs through
carefully tabbed pages and stops on--
"--Spirits, Ghosts, and the Undead."
MASON
Angry horde, tied to a specific
place; standard poltergeist.
NORA
Standard?!

KAT (O.S.)
HELP! I don’t wanna get flushed!
MABEL
It’s got Kat. What’s the plan?

Dipper scans the area like Sherlock Holmes; he spies a

splintered support pillar propping up a side wall, a cinder
block, and a leaking pipe.
MASON
I need you to go in and grab Kat
from the entity. Once she’s clear,
Nora and I will take care of the
poltergeist?
NORA
Take care of it?! I can’t punch
that!
Nora motions to the grotesque ghost deer frolicking.
 19.

MASON
No, but you can punch that wood
beam real hard, right?
Panicked, Nora looks to Mabel.

MABEL
I get it, this is SUPER intense.
But, this used to be like a normal
Monday for us and we turned out
just fine. You can do this.

Mabel takes her grappling gun from Nora gives a finger gun
and wink, and charges toward the bathroom.
MASON
On three... two...

Mason runs forward and grabs the cinder block. Nora watches
from the brush petrified.
INSIDE - Mabel kicks in the rusted door off it’s hinges. She
gulps as a murder of crows swirls about and suspends Kat in
mid-air above the toilet.
KAT
Mabel! I’m sorry. I don’t wanna die
by swirly.

MABEL
Hand over my Tiny Cousin, ya dank
bathroom ghouls!
From the multitude of undead birds, a terrifying legion of
voices cry out-
BATHROOM GHOUL
You, mortals, have flushed our
remains down this filthy abyss for
the last time.

KAT
But the girls said I had to flush
the bird; it was the rules.
BATHROOM GHOUL
THEY LIED! Tonight, foul, smelly
vengeance shall be ours!
OUTSIDE - Mason runs with the cinderblock toward the pipe,
but stops as the seven foot tall floating rabbit lands with
a thump in front of him. It laughs a demented, taunting
laugh.
 20.

From his vest, Mason removes his fold-out Polaroid Camera

and aims it at the Rabbit.
MASON
Say cheese... or carrots? Say
carrots, Harvey!

Before the rabbit bites Dipper’s head off, the flash goes
off stunning the spirit beast.
As the photo develops out from the camera, the massive
rabbit disappears before Dipper.
INSIDE - Kat screams as she’s lowered toward the toilet.
Mabel withdraws her grappling hook, aims, then quickly
readjust and fires!

The hook bounces off the wall, behind a pipe, ricochets

behind Kat and off the opposite stall. Grabbing the hook
end, Mabel pulls the slack end of the rope, and Kat out from
the swirling mass of birds.

BATHROOM GHOUL
NO! The mortal girl must be
sacrificed.
MABEL
I am way too grossed out to deliver
a suitable pun.
With a final yank, Mabel pulls the pipe apart which sprays
water over the poltergeist.
OUTSIDE - Mason is hammering away at the pipe. He looks over
to the support beam, then to Nora still standing in the
woods.
MASON
Nora!

Nora is frozen in fear as undead squirrels scamper through

her legs and toward the bathroom.
MASON
Nora, your sister needs you!

Bursting out from the door, Mabel carries Kat in a fireman

lift.
MABEL
All clear!
 21.

MASON
Nora, NOW!
Screaming, Nora runs towards the bathroom, toward the
support pillar.

Mason times his final strike just right and--

Nora winds up and punches the pillar clean in half.
Dipper, Nora, Kat and Mabel back up and watch as a geyser of
gross septic water erupts from the ceiling. Quickly, the
Haunted Bathroom collapses, folding in on itself. The ghosts
remain.
MASON
Kat, hurry, you need to give a
eulogy for your bird.
MABEL
Crow.
KAT
Raven.
NORA
Weird stuff is still happening!
The ghosts circle around the youths and young adults.

MASON
Come on Kit-Kat; we’re gathered
here tonight to...
KAT
...dearly departed forest critters,
we’re here to honor Renard the
Raven. And with a final farewell,
wish him an endless sky to soar far
from this nasty bathroom. Amen.

The Bathroom Ghouls stop, SNIFF, and in a puff of smoke all

the ghosts evaporate up into the night sky.
BATHROOM GHOUL (O.S.)
That was beautiful. Thank you,
Katrina Woods.
 22.

EXT. HITCHCOCK DORM - SAME

All the lights in the bunk are still on as the Pines and
Woods siblings limp up to the dorm.
NORA
I will never sleep, ever again.
Kat wipes her filthy face off with her PINK BANDANA.
MABEL
Don’t you worry Nora, counseling a
town full of traumatized Oregonians
practically paid my tuition. If I
can help them from going coo-coo
bananas, I’ll put your head back on
straight too: pro bono. Cousin
discount.
Dipper rustles Kat’s hair. She yawns.
MASON
You did great tonight, kiddo.
(To Nora)
I’m proud of you too. You really
came through back there.
Nora considers, tries to play it cool.

NORA
Yeah. I guess. Whatever.
TAG (O.S.)
Well if it ain’t Mason Clever-
nickname-for-troublemaker Pines!

Tag stomps up to the Foursome.

TAG
What did I tell you about keeping
an eye on your students?
Mason slaps the Polaroid picture against Tag’s chest and
keeps walking to the dorms with the others.
MASON
Here, keep an eye on this picture
that will haunt you forever.
Tag looks at the picture. His face turns pale white. Over
his shoulder, we see a half-disintegrated giant rabbit
staring back with red eyes and open shark-toothed-maw.
 23.

MASON
Good luck never sleeping again. Say
goodnight to Tag, girls.
NORA, KAT, MABEL
G’Night, Tag.
The Four enter the Hitchcock dorm. The door swings shut
behind them.
CUT TO BLACK:

THE END