Untitled

By
Madman Matt
I woke up with a headache. As per the daily routine I checked what the time was and checked for
any late night messages. And like every other day it was seven and there were no messages not even
stupid forward I’d bother going through. “Seven?” I rubbed my face and went back to bed. I tried
different ways to go back to sleep- my body just wouldn’t budge. “God...”

I gave up. I sat on my bed, said my morning prayer and got myself ready for the day. The dining hall
was unusually crowded for eight o’clock. I somehow managed to get a plate and a cup of coffee. I sat
on a table near the window and looked at the menu. I read it out loud “Bread. Butter. Jam. Pancakes.
They should seriously consider updating this atleast once every semester... idiots”

I was pissed off at everything- the bread and whatever else was on the plate all tasted bad and stale.
The coffee tasted like boiled water. I rubbed my eyes again and took a deep breath. There was a
streak of golden sunlight upon me. I guess that woke me up properly or it could have been what I
thought.

The night was amongst the best nights I had had that semester. She called me. We spoke for hours
together. It was normal in the beginning but in the end I felt different I felt that the semester was
going to be interesting after all.

I went back to my room and tried to recollect the conversation. She called me at around 12 in the
night. I was about to sleep but she said she had something important to tell me. I agreed to listen to
her and then she started, “Matt, there is this guy whom I ... you know ... whom I kind of like”

I was shocked at that moment but was laughing from within. I enjoyed juicy news like these and I
loved to listen to them. Every story was different in one way or the other. I liked to add as much as
mystery as was possible to the stories so I replied “Don’t tell me the name. Let’s just call him Mr. A”

“That would be perfect” she giggled a bit.

“Okay... go on”

“Well I really like him although he can be a bit of an ass at times. He is so caring and I kind of feel
safe and protected when I am around him”

“’Safe and protected’? Check”

“I don’t know what to do. I mean he does like someone. Atleast I think he likes someone else. It’s
confusing...”

I knew she was saying this for two reasons- the first being that she wanted to let this feeling out
somehow and second being she wanted help. Just speaking to someone solves half of the problems
one face. I wasn’t good at giving advices or anything but I loved to speak and to listen.

“Um... Okay first of all I don’t know anything about this guy but if you truly like him you will have to
tell him somehow. Without asking, how will you ever know? From the way you are speaking I would
say that you really like this guy. Do you know anything about this apparent girlfriend of his?”

I had to kick the unknown girl out of the picture if I wanted any progress in this ‘case’.
“Well she is from New York, his hometown. But as far as I know she is now in India studying
architecture in one of those fancy colleges. What was their name? Some IIT or something”

“Which institution she studies is more or less unimportant. The important thing is she is half way
around the world. Statistically long distance relations never work out. So, no worries.”

“I don’t trust statistics”

“Neither do I. Angel, let’s analyze the situation. This Mr.A like this girl, who is now in India, whom he
rarely sees? From which angle do you think that will ever work out?”

“...hm... There is one more thing about her that I think might be important. He, as far as I know,
hasn’t said anything to her.”

“Whoa! Hold on. Which means the girl doesn’t know?”

“No”

“Well that just reassures you that nothing will happen”

“I feel awkward. I mean I have feelings for a guy who likes someone else. It just doesn’t seem right. I
feel like I am doing something wrong...”

“Wrong?” I was confused. I thought girls knew how big a sacrifice and risk it was to love.

The conversation had gone on for two to three hours and as I remembered every bit of it I had a
smile developing on my face. It was a first for me – no girl had ever talked to me about their love life.

I kept on thinking about the previous day’s conversation- looking for any clues that could point me
to Mr.A. I went through a list of mutual friends. I had filtered out three from a list of thirty or so. It
was pretty easy to do so for I knew she was closer to some five or so amongst the thirty mutual
friends and only three had fit in properly.

“’Mr.A’. I am pretty sure she giggled when I said ‘A’” I thought.

So this guy’s name had to start with A? Well why not? There was only Andrew amongst the three
finalists. “Andrew?” I thought. I started to analyze the past events that had happened over the
semester “Andrew? I mean I know they are pretty close. Andrew? Andrew! Oh my god! How could I
have missed Andrew? Of course! It just had to be Andrew.” My conclusion was based on the past
few month’s experience I had hanging out with both Angel and Andrew. They had this great
chemistry when they worked together on projects etc. You could say that both of them were made
for each other. She did tell me that they used to speak for long hours before hand etc. Well Andrew
fit into the equation perfectly.

Now the smile vanished and was replaced by a broader one. I was so happy. I didn’t know why.
Maybe it was because I had figured out who it was or maybe it could have been that I was so happy
that Angel’s love couldn’t be anyone better. She had hit the bull’s eye. Maybe I was just happy for
her.

***
The day went on like any other Sunday- I had spent most of my time in my room shooting down
aliens, sipping cola and listening to hard rock. I never had such a bad hangover and my methods to
get rid of them were not the generally recommended. Trust me hard rock and hangovers don’t mix
well. I had finally managed to sleep after tiring myself from all the Halo I played.

When I woke up, I looked upto the ceiling- the fan was still spinning at a slow speed. It was sunny
outside. So I thought of taking a walk outside. I jogged out of my room and onto the beautiful world
outside. The fountain, amidst the green lush and the scantily spread trees, was spouting out water
with all its majesty. It was pretty soothing. The campus had park benches under almost all the
canopies and they were cleverly positioned so that you could rest and enjoy the aesthetics at the
same time. I sat on the bench staring at the lush greenery and enjoying the filtered sun. When one
or two minutes passed, a fragrance caught my attention.

I turned back and saw a lean, yet not size zero, girl with golden open hair. She was wearing a yellow
top that extended till her knees and a pair of white pants. “Hi Angie”

“Hey Matt. Whatchyu doin’?” she asked in a very girly way.

“Nothing. Just staring into oblivion and enjoying the silence”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“More than one can explain. So about last night...”I started .She blushed a bit. This was important to
note. I knew then that even she wanted to speak about it.

“I still don’t know what to do”

“Mr.A is Andrew, right?”

She looked at me with awe. ‘Jackpot!’I thought. Then she blushed a bit and couldn’t wipe off the
awe from her face.

“Ok...” She tried to hide the smile. “Yes it is Andrew.”

“Wow! I mean seriously ‘wow’. Nice choice. He’s perfect for you. I mean I have seen you together
and there was this... this” I began to wave my hands around “... this spark between you two”

She blushed and tried to say something. Then she looked at me. It was not one of those soul stirring
stares but more like one of those puppy dog eyes’ look. I smiled and looked away at the lush green
carpet in front of us. Then I continued “You told me that the whole thing felt wrong. Why?”

“Well the guy does like someone else. It just doesn’t feel right loving him...”

“What the hell...?”

“I mean it’s a bit complicated. I feel like I am doing something wrong ...”

“Wrong? Oh my god! There is nothing wrong in loving a person who might love someone else.
Besides you have a better shot at him than her”

“... but still...”

“Well then again it’s your choice. You can let go off him. Just try... this is something I am sure that
you’ll fail at. You like... no... You love him. It’s an emotion you’ll never be able to get rid of.”

“...hmm...” she looked a little confused.

“So what are you going to do about the whole situation?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you are going to tell him right?”

“Well...”

“He has to know how you are feeling. If you keep it within you... well you’ll just explode with that
emotion. It’s always better to let out the truth.”

“I can’t take a solid decision”

“I’ll review your position. You like this guy, Andrew. But he doesn’t know about it. Well things will
definitely go nowhere if you don’t tell him. I mean he can’t read your mind... I have never been in a
relation but I can assure you one thing- when you tell him you like him he’ll be confused and would
either reject you or would ask you to give him some time.”

“You mean I’ll be rejected?”

“Yes”

“Won’t that be...”

“I am saying it’s just a possibility. But in most of the cases this is how it proceeds. Once the rejection
happens he’ll revert back in given time. It could take days, weeks or even months. But he will revert.
That’s when he’ll come with the right answer. Then again there is a possibility of...”

She kept her finger on my lips and said “Let’s be a little optimistic.” Then she smiled.

I smiled and then continued “All this is possible if and only if you tell him how you feel”

“When?”

“Why do you ask me? This is something you have to do on your own. All I can do is support and give
advices which I don’t expect you to take. When, where etc. Is of your choice”

“What if I do it tomorrow?”

“Do it next week. Valentine’s Day is approaching and I want to know what he’ll do for his apparent
girlfriend”

“Do you think it’s a good idea?”

“I know it’s a good idea”

I could see her morale increasing a bit and it felt as if she was glowing.
 ***

A week had gone by at a snail’s pace. Quite a lot of things had happened but nothing was more
interesting to me than the talk Andrew had with me.

It was after Valentine’s. He came to my room, looked at me and said “I spoke with Helen”

“Oh... come on in” he entered and sat on a chair amidst the laundry that was spread out in my room.
He looked at me again. I poured some soda in a glass and offered it. He seemed pissed at the world.
“What happened?”

“Well I talked to Helen like always. But something seemed off this time. When she spoke to me this
time I felt like she was just a friend. That has never happened to me. All our conversations have been
special so far. I have always felt that she was special. You know... something like more than a
friend...”

“...um... There. There?”

He gave me a stare. Apparently the Big Bang Theory formula for comforting didn’t work out. I wasn’t
taking the whole situation seriously and I knew exactly why. I continued “You mean you feel like you
are losing her or something?”

“Well she didn’t say much but from what she had said it was a bit obvious that she has fallen in love
with someone there”

“Oh... um... you are still friends and all right?”

“Yes we are. But that’s not the thing. See it’s not the fact that I won’t get her as a girlfriend that
worries me. It’s the fact that I don’t care about getting her as a girlfriend anymore is what worries
me”

“You lost me”

“See when you lose someone special... you feel like killing yourself no?”

“Well, to some extent, yes”

“I didn’t feel like that”

“Oh... I get it. It’s like you have moved on without yourself knowing it?”

“Kind of”

“Okay that’s pretty complicated”

“Dude I don’t know why it’s like this”

“What if you have found someone else?”

Suddenly his cell phone rang. He picked it up and went to the door. He talked something. I was not
in a mood to eavesdrop because I was for some reason jubilant inside. He waved goodbye and left.
I looked at the students who were walking past grand old oak tree which stood majestically in the
heart of the campus. I felt like they were wandering aimlessly. I kept on thinking about the class I
had attended over the past few days. There was nothing interesting. Life lacked a lot of meaning.
Just then Angel came, sat beside me, buried her face in her hands and started to cry.

I was emotionally blanked. I didn’t know what to do. I could have said ‘There. There’ again but I
knew this time it wouldn’t be funny. It’s so awkward for a guy to talk to a girl sitting beside him
weeping. I took a deep breath, prayed within and asked “What happened?”

“...<sob>... He rejected me”

I was a little lost. “Who?”

“Andrew... He rejected me. How could he have rejected me? I mean we were so close. Is it me? Am I
that bad....?”

“Okay... what exactly did he say?”

“He said that he didn’t know what to do and then he gave me a look and said not now”

“’Not now’ eh? Good”

She looked at me. She didn’t see any ‘good’ in all this. “Good?”

“Well yeah. I mean phase 1 is complete. He didn’t say ‘no’. He said ‘not now’. There’s a difference
and it’s only natural that you should cry at this point”

“Matt... <sob> ...you are an ass”

“I am sorry. See everything’s going to be just fine. Trust me”

“... the pain just won’t go away...”

“When did you tell him?”

“5 minutes ago...”

“Okay give him half an hour he’ll call...”

“How can you be so sure....?”

“Time does stuff that one would call miracles”

She was getting more and more pissed at me but at the same time she was getting more relieved. I
could easily conclude that because her eyes weren’t watery anymore and this was not a very fragile
situation. I had already warned her of this and it seemed as if she was prepared.

I continued facing her now. “Look at me”

She hesitated but gave into the request.

“First of all there is nothing wrong with you. You are not different from any other girl in the
university. You are as smart and as beautiful as any of them. Maybe a little better than many of
them. There is nothing wrong with you. He said ‘not now’ because he needs time to think about the
whole situation. Give him time to digest the full thing and things will turn out to be great”

She stopped weeping. I asked her to smile. She smiled that smile which you give when you are hurt
inside but don’t want others to know. “Good now let’s go to the coffee shop”

She didn’t say anything and followed me. We sat in the shop sipping hot chocolate in the middle of
the day. I didn’t know what to tell her to make her feel better but I could tell that she liked my
company. Suddenly her cell phone rang. She kept the cup down, picked up the cell phone and stared
at it. I knew it was Andrew.

“Pick it up. It’s judgement time”

She gave me a ‘what-the-hell’ stare and picked up the phone and in a broken voice said “Hello”

She walked away from me to the shop’s entrance. Suddenly she came back. She seemed happy “He
asked me to go to the Ice-cream parlour”

“Good for you”

I watched her leave. Something in my heart said he had said ‘Yes’ in the best way possible. I was
happy. It was awkward for I didn’t do anything but merely listened and hoped for it to happen. I
guess Mr. Murphy was right “If it’s meant to happen, it will happen”.

I went out of the coffee shop and saw Andrew and Angel walk by me with a softie in their hand and
innocently laughing. I looked at the shining sun, took a deep breath, smiled and thought “All’s well
that ends well”