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    Dog Sees God Script

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    Dog Sees God Script

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    Mack Finklea
    3K views22 pages
    dog sees god script

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    dog sees god script

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    dog sees god script

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF or read online from Scribd
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    Download as pdf
    3K views22 pages

    Dog Sees God Script

    Uploaded by

    Mack Finklea
    dog sees god script

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
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    a ee DOG SEES GOD: Mare CONFESSIONS OF A BEETHOVEN TEENAGE BLOCKHEAD “DEAR PEN PAL” VAN'S SISTER Lights up om a handiome, sever carey lle, tea: Flr name i CB. what I want. (Beat) My dg die. I donc know ‘remember, but I had a beagle. He was 3 good dog. My bese dim as fr back a I could remember, but one diy Spoieeigneienn® chien dees e ipdeioelcceareaaar sce eee ne poe ann renee some #8 ¥e a ee iH i r ; ce 7 son etrprenaennneneteene: amen meme temenmlre tt sons ences could bie me My ater that day, they pu im co ‘cardboard box. When my dog ring what co only be deeribed a a bl "CB bins ening woaden coon a mound of isin flim Se phn) “CANIS EXEQUIAE” are sain bide cach oer and saving eh ng ane, he ae of ine ie thaed like eof) and fir one tobi. toy cing so melodramatic, Chale. Noon’ simple prayer Ak the Earth ro wach Haat isthe gaddes of death, She also a goddess 8 up with you! FIND. AN. IDENTITY. GBS SISTER. Youre one to allt CBS SISTER. You invited our fiends? GB. A ow CBS SISTER. You are wo embarraig CB, Youte drs lie the bide of Franken ad I GBSEISTER. shuc wp abou my dest CB. (St sc tel) This othe way be wouldve wanted bis SISTER. He wat a DOG, Charles. ‘They shi on the ground probably no key ere. He was hy We, he was MY faking dog So, GBSSISTER He was my fucking dopa So, fuck you! ex batly tolerate you CB, (Explading) JUST SAY YOUR FUCKING PRAYER! pense) GBS SISTER. He wo you king og Yo king i ssorms off) “NLRVANA? he sad remnant of brik wall Van is happens when we dit AN. Do you mesn ik, do I believe in heaven? CB. Yeah. . a Buadahis. of al sulfleing and a liberation ina, dhe Bukit way go. ig 1 be nuchingnsss. Because even bc hand to CB) What a1 VAN. One would sy dat, yes. Buin cha nothingness thou Sand thingy sight? Parties and atoms and tens of thousands of w er ee eas Ree ala eee are one aight (CB leghs,) Why this incest in he afer you dog? nuk Br that ie — ie does goon. Even wih thac we thnk define ws, dont mean shi in the grand scheme of things Us defines us Noe chings or other people or pees. Lik, me Wwithour my blankee — igs sal me. I miss my fuckin’ Blanes, ‘hough. That was adc ching ‘ll did (CB. Thice words for you, bro (Ome finger) Pu (CB. Hey, welt you kep the ashes, VAN. T smoked em. (CB. Thats seriously discurbed, daw. VAN. Weall handle ref in diferene ways Showed you evo! Tei co mess with my shit. HA! 3. is your sister doing? god, The doctors ay thar shes gesting eter. (Be) sonthing happy. fide slowly out.) “WHERE SWINE LIVE" Welcome ty Thunday ng libuctpak at ter iis esol act ond jt smo. iga! What UR, dawg? (Chey pusch exc others fie) MATT: ining yy) Well, chk when we die wee goa’ back in (Thinking about his) Bxcepe this te, isnot our mom. 2 MATT, CB, is ic olay if your sister sucks my dick? '§ SISTER. (To CB) Tear belive you le im clk co pete MATE Adc lentil i ed Hes ays ang te HB aa ne, te har (79 Soe B “THE PIANIST AND THE PLATYPUS Beethoven wals aco the age. before carrying his bok CCB sier ra on fer him. B'S SISTER. ‘Whee ae you going? BEETHOVEN. Ie linc perio. CW'S SISTER, CBS SISTER. Are you going o Marcy’ pry on Satara? BEETHOVEN. Ti ater graw off ay Kft. (e ears. She cal ut fer him) CBS'SISTER. Maybe we could ge together this wkend. could do your ot cards or maybe we could go toa poeuy wading something (Ne rape) Bye (Ligh out) “ “SPORK" Cafria, anche. To gin, Tia and May ete wis their anc tat and cake set ran empty a MARCY. Da you cally think Ms : TTRICIA. Wel, if he were ssight, shen obviously I wouldae be tha Gad is punishing me or end, MARCY. You dpe with Cag ‘TRICIA. Blew him. You knew tha ‘rion cle thom and shake vivo, in won. Switching gear) 5 MARCY, She told me the other day she was on diet and I was thking, like: What? You ca eat anything lager dhan your hesd? Suney MARCY. Somebody needs o explain “camel coc" to he. TRICIA. 'm no jus che iy Taxy Commitee; 'm also a cent” erty and the purse of happiness”? el you this. But sometimes you are Tess dangerous ced into the public school, Eat relly all spork i, sa plane descendant ofthe ran ible spon. (Tricia shocked) id you know tha 2 Sich a gat invention. 1 fed chat was going o be CI tle al laf ome ofilence nich of ther drink. Tiaras her ove. a Sell ib owt of and GB, Wha de you mean by “a beter place? "TRICIA. I dont know. Like doggy heaven or something? (Mary and Trcia c But dogs? dat thinks. Food! (Squealing at the jin.) Tove ‘TRICIA, (Plinatoudy) So, Max, are you coming co Marcy’ party? (Qa tbe en ee fend sti a pce a eit) MATE I dunes Goon deck ny elena cs with you 0 if you give him head and lec hen cums 1 Sl Appt tae Be SE teat tate pat ra erent Sic, ea rh sabe seg Thy om and drunkenly lind atop the af ‘heir spore igh inthe ir Ven 19 ‘VAN. Whacare you two doi [MARCY and TRICIA. Were sad once again srt Laughing. Tight ous) “A SEGUE I SUPPOSE” ib op Bw adres te ni oti is “THE VIPER’S NEST" Lights up on Beedoven playing Chops "Prelude #4 in E ‘Minos Op. 2314 onthe piano, Hea a bck ee. CB ents » place and th fing co eaplde ad ie makes you thin th "Tac maybe youre dead, to. (Becthoven slams you havent spoken to min ‘Ft dislocate my shoulder and lac spring you vied my am Behind my back and cold mm tae ‘you woulda lego unc std chat —~and I quote — "Tike get a NNow I remember, Through my seaming efnitly recall hearing laughter. nyway t ofthe group... 05 my bbc in a bathroom on expus since the ime my ino the wall I believe you were there OVEN. And how docs one act gay? (Sins) By playing 2 Ob, ic must be all hose dimes I ogle che focal ream. 3 you ean apo ‘gy forthe ive minutes chat you've stolen fom my CB. Se, this is why you dont have any fends, BEETHOVEN. I'think we boch know why T dont hive any te fk up about my dog, okay? Beahoor ge up 2 in bi fice) EEEHOVEN, Oc wha ail hem? Go sa tow how cope rhea dont una coy aig fuking baby (Bebo eB. Hedi CB fhe bck Bene hr sina eck Cin een a (Cg gh nd egh rs es Bao a ng Bg CCB. No one knew wha to say co you ater your did got are, Te war awhward. CB. Do you remember how my dog used to how whenever you played the pian? : BEETHOVEN. Yeah {always found ie precy ineuking. CCB. He was singing along, Whar do you chink happens ro pute when they die? 3 $c. (CB bi ira ng mame, ten fe sands up sand poe 3 “braMa? Ligh op oC te She pe the nd. Ta big db ie Ba, - ‘merge. No. Not 2 buted. For butefes area dime a dosen ‘Destined to fc about fora day or so, then drop dead. Or have ‘wings tipped off by a demented child. Or have its body pinned foma ap ave 1 wl wi fo become a platypus | wil be an extraordinary cease (The igh fade ar he pal ie cf om br phe and begins to wrap it around herself) i pean “YOU'RE INVITED!" Ligh wp on Marcy A sibrae tune plae under the fll ing indicating a parti about ta bappen. As Mary delivers ‘heflowin, teas (ith the exception of Beeeve) enters «and postions themes around the age As they gett their mark they stand ike sara, setered around the pace MARCY. “oe cody invite wo the pay ofthe ya. My fl went wo Bal andl mys hee. So hac beer way ogee ny vege, ‘Than dhrwing shindig cae would make them both cing? rome kegs, 9 chip in some ca, ist bring fom your hac somone wl big Un ehrowing pay youl never ogee. (A range maedy pla ovr te bea, prompting th gag 9 bein shang bizare lar they did when they tre younger Te ong ands d they The lunch nt trot area ave rinding atin eachother. at ie rndng hind iia ‘indie bend Mary) a My God. Did you se Frid? Naturally inayat ec (hy gual eae he dt , (Tey qual ogi and rnd harder} MATT. Dude! Val should make ou For CB here, Hey oly go a eck to lv Lethe gy die witha had-on (Bey eee shee ving do. ‘TCHR Mac oui adi MARCY, 1° wana bad-on, Tn sue Tanck cae of hat, sol (Mat od (Charing of age) You ca de a Ot that That dings: eho is dancing ekishty by ber je: ht (Bate ind a penn Wha ak CB) What the fuck are YOU doing walls oer 1 Betboven and get up in buddy, bur you're going co have vo cura ound and fll di breadcrumbs back co that lide house of yours. (CB pul Mat aus ‘bythe arm) CB.” Mae, dude, chil Theres nothing wrong with him being here. Were having 2 good time MATT. We WERE unl he walked i, upsuits on Eesay fucking in tuhe is BEYOND tube wall, ‘ver 0 Beethoven and a agans bm.) ‘TRICIA. Did you hear there’ « homoscxal in the house? (She fal down, ‘and begins ing her ber all oner Beethoven. Marcy rt overt ning her fed ou) MATT. Set Lookt Now that he's here, people are sarting to dc BEETHOVEN. Tm leaving. Pick. Bechouen thor bis eup down sand Mase lange at hi. CB abl im and bp int sy) “Mate Mae, calm down, de Fggoe has waliod BEETHOVEN. (dng) CB, shu up, Ti evng CB. Nol MATT. Ye iit your ded wating for you (CB grabs Mat ar suits it bend i backs Mat ream in pain. The gang gps) ‘Wha he Buck ar you ding, mas? CCB. Apologia him. Righ now MATT. Fuck ol (CB nuts is arm fre: Anthea) MARCY. Let him go, CB! YAN. Duden Bim ose. He your end Ene ees cpa ar nd. The al ran ove fom ei pase ut Tico Mat) EGA: (28 C0) gonna Kl you, (CB rnd be Berthno.? (CB. You guys make me sick. (1 Belo) Are you cay? BEETHOVEN, (yok) Ya (CB. Good, (He rb him and kiss him AGAIN in fon of one. Thy al gp REALLY lad this Esertbing ll CB ted hearin) CRSSISTER (Mertfied) Ob my God n VAN. (Laughing) Ob. MARCY. (Digused MATL, (la total sock.) Oh ry God. (Dic comes andy) “TRICIA. Oh my God, Yall think Tm gonna puke Me oo. BuETHOVE What did you just do? CB. [think we need to get out of ese now. (They run fag. Lighs out) “NOCTURNE” Lights upon Bethoven and CB. al hac wae ju tying o prov a pois ‘poi would dat bet (CB_L can fix things fara going co do? CB, You coud kiss me. (Without ming heat) BEETHOVEN. Otay (Beethoven throw himself onte CB and they ise Light out) “THE HANGOVER” Paty eee eee snd Ma gn te ed Me th ay sola mal pall oy encod Mary lag dant ah Seng Belo Polley mao ar i afm MATE Did cha ely happen lastnight or did I dream ict MARCY. No, We dfiiely had a chccsome. Wal, out prety erly on. MATT. No, Pmeanc the pare aboue CB kising that. thing is sigh MARCY. Thac happened too, TTRICIA. Do you guys have vo sream? Shit Tala anormal vl MATT. Thats Fucked up. We shower rage iPhe rapes me of something? MARCY. Thats fucked up, but I had realy g though. MATT. I mean, CB! Come on! Who knew? MARCY. Mace, have you thought about who you eking cosh prom? MATT. Do you chink they have sex and shit? 2» How is everybody?! ade you so ~ early intereing a th handel thas are ean er has) (CBs besa Wow Thanks Pl wear een Dah han cal sem sie unnecosay? YAN'S SISTER. Ave you kidding? [ove chem! Theyre kinky and CB, Vey nay. VANSSISTER Iehougheyou mightlite ic How hve ou ba! | | | | | | Wyo. (Mast rans ofage and voi. Many rand downs it) VANS SISTER, Thos pe nein hee (She nko i) yu should burn somthing fe would have 30 much fun! ‘m in abo shock was doing wae wrong, [em ‘hing. Good gre Ietaker me an hou to gex dressed evry morn ing F'n always ehinking about what people ate going ro s1y or Ree hes “ really sory He: Cb, Yah, Thanks e ‘CB Seriously ‘VAN'S SISTER, Nah, » ‘oud forgo all about that) "Really? You wedi no ee chan Hive minus go action and random acc of violence ste of ting 0 und) Tm yonna yo now STER. Waid Dost I was pregnanc. 4 shame Im locked up in here. We could've ‘er wimpresed) Soy. Bad joke. (A faking with you. Is the lichium “CB, Noe Faking wih me gun? (She mil Sh uses buon her risa and he ef fa off Sh they bode aie ‘ree gu Vistog tine ores, . VANS SISTER. Before you go — I guess don have ro ak how ceeryone raced. k my sister mouthed“! hope you die" a me ‘across the bealdas cable this morning. But che clock i icing and votes tomerrow ar sual 35 just maybe sick a book of end frees. (CB pnp and You already are. (Ligh out. 1 davkwess —) ER. Hey. Blockhead! You forgot your sar (Be toundoft el der cng) “OUR SISTER OF MERCY” Lights up om CBE ser whi eying. Van walkin and er ‘er Heit doin bride ber go ro Amsterdam. I wanna goto Amsterdam, Not because I'm 2 hhomo, You can smoke everywhere in Amsterdam. 1 defintely wanna go to Amsterdam. Tdi ed be ea pes oe Hand stow (CD'S SISTER. 1 gues. ve weve donc it before. How do Ido fe VAN. Here. Tl each you (Ligh out) “SALISBURY STEAK” Ligh up on Marcy Tica, Von and Mar cain lunch in the ‘alert Theyar eating in snc (MAKGY, 1 hae Salbary sak (N0 espns.) Hey, dont you guys bite the obligatory seae in ten movies where someone describes sg ate ha? Agen no eon.) STRICIA Tink ets all dodging a ceria copc hee. Oe that rid an option, And he a New ae) Oh es TRICIA, Guod, This it good. IU go na. I'm A-OK wich being, iy Bue with cha ead, [eink is ely gras o sce ono guys kiss Gro hold bands. (By confsion) Deg queens fighten me. (She ping back) Would anyonc else like to shace? (lene) Any ch hing as Mexican pizza TRICIA. (Condacdings) Sweet, | hin hes talking about CB. ‘VAN. Oh, MARCY, Wa de ie sp — MARCY.” He sems realy pissed. Do you thnk one of us should pater hin’ TRICIA. Nab. I find ies best noe co incre with uding ove. VAN. Ave Beethoven and CB feuding? ‘TRICIA. I meane Mate and CB, ding dong. MARCY. Wie What WARE id eh ke hy pound TRIGA Shar, Nl dot ou “WARSAW WAR SONG” Ligh wp 04 CB, who adres teeudince comin ‘isle hear ras of Revlon inde ar heard read that Chopin was on his way co of his cy, Warsaw. vo the Russians. Win ‘cur spotted we wold Shnagh high nchalhovng eyene Row be tenses sn no one wot have toapoli (he ie Boe) 4 “MAL DI LUNA* Ligh sp on Beethoven at the piano. He i: playing ‘Revolasonary Boule” by Chapin, CB approach with + brow paper sack. He srs unpacking lanch on the piano, CB. 1 ough ou unk cen mops, He ites Cs ak of despair and frasoton) Hey, we made ie halfway through the day and Tony go called «queer duce dine. BEETHOVEN. Thats because people are sed youl beat chem op. CB. Dorit wor ve already started spreading he word tha if they mes with ay boyfriend, Fl be kicking somes. (He hse the (0p ofBecboves ead) BEETHOVEN. Your boyiend? CCB. Wal I choughe che other night sor of sald the dl. BEETHOVEN, Slow down, CB. CB. Why? BEETHOVEN, Because I dont wane boyfiend. CB. Nonsense! BEETHOVEN. We shared a moment CB, (Laughing) We shared roe than chat BEETHOVEN. This cant happen CB. What can? We cnt jase start a eltionship. mei, youve CB. (Wi go rin) Tn fling i ove wih you. (eon

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