Eldon’s Guide to

Dungeon Survival

-By Eldon Tosscoble

1 -Trust a flumph.
2 - Before you drink
from a fountain or
pool, toss a copper
coin into it. It’s a
small price to pay for
your life.
3 - Sometimes a
chest is just a chest,
but don’t bet on it.
4 - No one carves
statues of frightened
warriors. If you see
one, keep your eyes
closed and your ears
open.
5 – Don’t poke
skeletons.
Bludgeoning works
best.
6 – Keep a few gems
in your pocket. A
hungry Xorn is a
helpful Xorn.
7 - Before opening a
sarcophagus, light a
torch.
8 - Traps mean
someone wanted to
keep you out. If a
trap still works, that
means there’s still
plunder on the other
side.
9 - Some wards
don’t follow their
object. Don’t open
interesting plunder
until at least 100
feet away from
ornate pedestals.
10 – Do not trust
attractive men and
women in dungeons.
11 - Glowing things
that don’t do
anything when poked
with a pole, still
might when poked by
a finger.
12 – Always wear
gloves when handling
strange objects.
13 - Consider all
objects removed
from dungeons
strange until
proven otherwise
(thoroughly).
14 - Always ask
permission to walk
past a statue. It
never hurts to be
polite and it may
save your life.
 15 – Do not kill a
Lich. They just come
back angrier.
16 - You’d be surprised
at how much in a
dungeon is actually
edible. That doesn’t
make it a good idea to
put anything in your
mouth besides what
you brought in with
you.
17 - Never interrupt
anything willing to
tell you a story.
18 - Runic circles
can be very good,
very bad or very
boring.
Unfortunately it
usually takes an
intelligent being to
determine this. Try
to make sure your
friend goes first.
19 - Make offerings
at any dais or altar
you find and
cannot identify.
Unless you’re a
paladin and your
God is watching.
20 - Always check
behind tapestries
and drapes.
Similarly, always
check beneath rugs.
Do this with a 10-
foot pole, in case
you actually find
something.
21 - A spear or
quarterstaff is not a
proper substitute
for a 10-foot pole.
22 - Don’t mess
with fungus. Yes,
some can be eaten
and most is
harmless. Others
eject spores that kill
you in less than a
day.
23 – Every
adventurer should
have a large towel.
24 - If you find
something powerful
intentionally
imprisoned in a
dungeon, there’s
probably something
worse that put it
there. If that thing
isn’t gone, you
should be.