Coaching and the Will

CONNECTING WITH WILL THROUGH COACHING

What makes coaching work?

Just a couple of days ago post a coaching session, my client commented on the
session saying that it seemed like nothing much really happened during the session,
but deep within he was convinced of and totally excited about taking the next step in
his career growth – an important purpose in his life presently. This was his agenda
for the coaching sessions. He seemed amazed at the simplicity and power of
coaching and spent some time in silence trying to figure out the “mystery” behind its
success. He said he knew all along what he wanted and had been trying hard to
achieve his goal but progress was slow and energy consuming. And then suddenly
just a couple of session with a coach and he was experiencing progress in leaps and
bounds, raving to get to the next level in his professional career and filled with the
certainty of it happening in the near future.

So what makes coaching work? As my client commented, ‘there doesn’t seem to be

any rocket science in the process of coaching” yet one is able to achieve what one
commits to oneself in a specific period of time. And what more, one enjoys going
about the ‘task’.

Getting In Our Own Way

A common topic of conversation I hear around New Year’s time is about making
resolutions. I wonder how many of us are really able to keep our resolutions and
achieve our goals. For those of us who do, we are often all too familiar with the
human experience of attaining our goal with great effort and unimaginative self-
discipline. Often people wonder what makes it hard for them to begin or complete
activities and tasks. I believe there are many factors which may play a role or serve
to explain these difficulties. At any moment we may find ourselves going along with
outside pressure: social constraint, propaganda, and so on or we may fall into the
groove of habit and act on automatic pilot. More rarely we may even function purely
according to instinctive mechanisms. Whether it is unconscious or conscious forces
within oneself, or the external forces without, they somehow come in one’s way of
achieving what one truly wishes. It seems we have a knack of coming in our own
way! In this paper, I’d like to examine the role coaching plays in helping people get
out of their own way.

What is it in coaching that creates the desire and inspiration, in a coaching client to
go for ones goal? I believe it is the process of connecting the client with his or her
own will. However let us understand what we mean by ‘will’ before going further.

Will-Power

One way of getting out of one’s own way and going for one’s goals is through will-
power and self-discipline. In the not so long past this way was given great
importance and will-power and self-discipline seemed to be telling most people
what to do. However in the last decade with the deepening of psychological
awareness, there has been a change of attitude towards the will. With the ‘discovery’
of the mechanism of repression, people realized the immense power of these inner
forces they had been naively trying to dominate, while they themselves were
actually being dominated by them. Since then prevailing thought took down the
‘will’ from its throne and it was given its rightful place.

However not to discount the power of the will, we must remember that in its true
essence the will can explain a host of human attainments, while its absence can
account for much dysfunctional behaviour. This is one perspective and should not
be neglected otherwise we would be throwing out the baby with the bath water. So
what other perspective to the will is there in addition to this one?

The Will
In this paper the experience of the will here is not to be confused with “will power”.
The real function of the will here is to direct and not to impose. If understood in its
proper perspective, the will is, more than any other factor, the key to human freedom and
personal power. Another expression for the will given by psychologist Andras Angyal
is ‘autonomy’ which can be defined as, the capacity of an organism to function freely
according to its own intrinsic nature rather than under the compulsion of external
forces. It is this aspect of the will that is in focus during the coaching process.

Coaching and the Will

In the coaching process a coach facilitates connection of a client to his/her will. It is

the awakening of this will that creates the inspiration or the ability and desire to
reach goals and succeed. Then one is fuelled by one’s own hopes or dreams, rather
than somebody else’s. Some may also refer to this as self-motivation. According to
the ICF definition, Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and
creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. It is
in the creation of inspiration within the client that I would attribute to the will.
Hence we can say that the role of the coach besides others is to help the client to
connect with one’s will to be inspired to reach one’s goals.

The use of the term coach was used in relation to sports long before the spread of the
term ‘life coaching’ or ‘executive coaching’. In 1970’s Tim Gallwey captain of the
Harvard tennis team, discovered that his coachees enjoyed greater success when
taught how to learn, that when given techniques for hitting balls over the net. He
realized that the most important challenging opponent is the one inside the player,
rather than the adversary on the opposite side of the net. These principles he put to
paper in his book ‘The Inner Game of Tennis’ in 1974 and later focussed on applying
them to life and work.

How does this happen in the coaching process?

The role of a coach is mainly to create a safe and sacred space and focus on what the
client wishes to accomplish or create most in one’s life for reaching their goal. With
the use of appropriate coaching techniques and skills the coach is able to facilitate
the inspiration and self motivation in the client. The ICF has developed a list of
eleven "Coaching Core Competencies" to support greater understanding about the
skills and approaches used in today’s coaching profession. All of these play a role in
supporting the client to connect with their will particularly the skills of “asking
powerful questions” and “creating awareness” which I shall not discuss in this
paper. Through these skills the coach is able to help the client offset the danger of
‘trying too hard’ and remind them that they can truly will only from the centre of
their being, their core. And when it springs from the centre the will can express itself
in many different ways. It can be “regarded as a constellation of inner events rather
than a single, clear-cut psychological manifestation. At times we realize the will in
an instantaneous event, as in the case of a courageous act or a sudden decision from
which we cannot draw back. At other times, we may experience the will as a steady
flow of strength, as when we concentrate our attention on some subject
independently of outer distractions, or whenever apply ourselves steadfastly to
some project which we want to carry out regardless of the difficulties involved.”
(What We May Be by Piero Ferrucci). This is acting from clarity of one’s true self
rather than desire, impulses or drive and is about transformation at a deep level.

Fulfilment Coaching Model ™

The Fulfilment Coaching Model employs a wonderful technique for facilitating

connection with will in a client or as I like to refer to as connecting with the ‘inner-
compass’. This is referred to as the ‘self-discovery’ processes in which the coach
facilitates the process of the client accessing and understanding their own values, life
purpose and natural talents through a series of facilitated exercises. This typically
happens in the very first session of the coaching cycle known as the foundation
session. Once the client discovers their values, life purpose and unique gifts this
becomes foundation for all further work. Following this the coach supports the
client’s in their awareness of how and when their beliefs, actions and commitments
are in alignment to their values, life purpose and natural gifts. This is a most
affirming and fulfilling experience for the client. Furthermore the coach
acknowledges and celebrates the client when their beliefs, commitments and actions
have aligned with their values, life purpose and natural talents.

Through the Fulfilment Model of Coaching all action plans and goals are set by the
client and are in alignment with what is most important or what they really wants.
And in the coaching sessions, all agreed upon commitments are made in total
freedom by the client. The client truly experiences the power to choose and every
time the client achieves this alignment, the coach acknowledges and celebrates the
client’s expanding sense of fulfilment and self-empowerment.

In my experience of being coached and coaching others I have always been amazed
at how simple and yet so powerful coaching can be. In this paper I have attributed
this power to process of facilitating connection of the client with their will by the
coach. I have personally and professionally gained immensely from this process and
feel fulfilled as I facilitate the same process for others.