Child Bullying

Child bullying has existed in neighborhoods and schools for centuries. This article contains
statistics on child bullying, signs your child may be being bullied, signs your child may be a
bully, and tips on how to combat and prevent child bullying.

One of the unfortunate experiences that marks many childhoods is bullying. According to the
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, close to half of all children will
experience school bullying at some point while they are at primary or secondary school. At least
10 percent of children are bullied regularly. Child bullying is a serious problem in schools
around the country, and it can be very harmful, long term, to children. Child bullying teaches
them to take a certain view of what is normal in relationships with other people, and it can also
damage their own self-image in ways that can affect them for life. Children who are bullied can
be stunted emotionally and socially, as well as see their schoolwork suffer. In some cases,
serious depression and attempted suicide can result from childhood bulliing.

What is child bullying?

Bullying is basically a form of intimidation or domination toward someone who is perceived as

being weaker. It is a way of getting what one wants through some sort of coercion or force. It is
also a way for someone to establish some sort of perceived superiority over another person.
There are different types of bullying. While some may think that bullying mainly consists only of
physical domination, the fact of the matter is that there are verbal and emotional forms of
bullying as well. And, with the rise of the Internet, there are now instances of children being
bullied online through email, chatrooms and on Facebook. It is even possible to be bullied
through text messaging on a cell phone. Chid bullying can happen in any of these forms.

For the most part, boys prefer to use physical intimidation tactics in their bullying. They will use
physical aggression to force others to do what they want, or to feel in charge of a situation. Girls,
on the other hand, are more likely to use the subtle methods of child bullying like verbal abuse.
Girls are also more likely to be adept at emotional bullying by ostracizing their victims or finding
some other way to make harass or belittle others.

Signs of child bullying

Many parents are concerned that their child might be a victim of a child bullying. Some of the
signs that a child is being bullied include:

 Becoming withdrawn
 Showing fear when it is time to go to school
 Increasing signs of depression
 Decline in school performance
 Speaking of another child with fear
 Noticeable decline in how the child sees him or herself
 Signs of physical altercations, such as bruises, scrapes and other marks
It may be more difficult to spot signs of verbal or emotional bullying, but you should be on the
lookout for indications that your child’s self esteem and self image are faltering, as well as a
reluctance to go to school.

You should also be on the alert for signs that your child is a bully. Child bullying behavior can
be a precursor to problems later in life, especially criminal activity. It can also affect future
professional and personal relationships. It is important that children learn to express themselves
in socially acceptable ways, and bullying is not something that most in society tolerate. Here are
some signs that your child might be a bully:

 Views violence positively as the solution to most problems

 Shows aggression toward adults as well as other children
 Need to dominate others and control situations
 Easily frustrated
 Shows little sympathy to others who are being bullied, or who are having problems
 Won't help stop bullying

Parents and other adults can play an important roll in the reduction of child bullying. It is
important to notice what is going on with your children, and watch for signs that he or she is
being bullied, or that he or she is a bully. In both cases, it can be a good idea to talk to your
child’s school authorities, as well as a child counselor or pediatrician to figure out a plan.
Bullies need to learn why they behave the way they do, and what they can change so that they
are showing more acceptable behaviors.

You can also help your bullied child feel safer and develop a plan to help avoid child bullies.
First of all, it is a good idea to listen, and be accepting. Let your child know that you are on his
or her side, and that the bullying isn’t their fault. Here are some things you can suggest to
your child:

1. That you go, together, to school authorities to see what can be done in terms of
mediation, and in terms of increased attention paid on the school grounds.
2. Encourage the child to avoid the child bully, and seek help from a teacher or trusted adult
when necessary.
3. Practice being assertive and asking the bully to leave the child alone.
4. Encourage your child to be with true friends - bullies are less likely to pick on children
who are in a group.

In the end, it is important to help combat child bullying and make schools safe places to learn.

Bullying: It's Not OK

Bullying is when one child picks on another child again and again. Usually children who are
being bullied are either weaker or smaller, are shy, and generally feel helpless.
Facts About Bullying

 Both girls and boys can be bullies.

 Bullies target children who cry, get mad, or easily give in to them.
 There are 3 types of bullying.
o Physical—hitting, kicking, pushing, choking, punching
o Verbal—threatening, taunting, teasing, hate speech
o Social—excluding victims from activities or starting rumors about them

Bullying Happens:
 At school—in the halls, at lunch, or in the bathroom, when teachers are not there to see
what is going on.
 When adults are not watching—going to and from school, on the playground, or in the
neighborhood.
 Through e-mail or instant messaging—rumors are spread or nasty notes are sent.

Bullying is Different from Fighting or Teasing:

 A bully has power over another child.

 Bullies try to control other children by scaring them.
 Being picked on over and over can make your child a victim.
 Bullying usually happens when other children are watching.

Talk With Your Child About Bullying

Even if you don’t think your child is bullied, a bully, or a bystander, you will be helping to
protect your child just by asking these questions:

 “How are things going at school?”

 “What do you think of the other kids in your class?”
 “Does anyone get picked on or bullied?”

When your child is bullied, talk with your child about how to stay safe. Bullies always pick on
smaller or weaker children. If there is a fight, and the bully “wins,” this will only make matters
worse for your child.

Help your child learn how to respond

Let’s talk about what you can do and say if this happens again.

Teach your child how to:

 Look the bully in the eye.

 Stand tall and stay calm in a difficult situation.
  Walk away.

Teach your child how to say in a firm voice:

 “I don’t like what you are doing.”

 “Please do NOT talk to me like that.”
 “Why would you say that?”

Just telling your child to do and say these things is not enough. For many children, these skills do
not come naturally. It is like learning a new language—lots of practice is needed. Practice so
that, in the heat of the moment, these skills will come to your child naturally.

Teach your child when and how to ask for help. Your child should not be afraid to ask an
adult for help when bullying happens. Since some children are embarrassed about being bullied,
parents need to let their children know that being bullied is not their fault.

Encourage your child to make friends with other children. There are many adult-supervised
groups, in and out of school, that your child can join. Invite your child’s friends over to your
home. Children who are loners are more likely to get picked on.

Support activities that interest your child. By participating in activities such as team sports,
music groups, or social clubs, your child will develop new abilities and social skills. When
children feel good about how they relate to others, they are less likely to be picked on.

Alert school officials to the problems and work with them on solutions.

 Since bullying often occurs outside the classroom, talk with the principal, guidance
counselor, or playground monitors, as well as your child’s teachers. When school
officials know about bullying, they can help stop it.
 Write down and report all bullying to your child’s school. By knowing when and where
the bullying occurs, you and your child can better plan what to do if it happens again.
 Some children who are bullied will fear going to school, have difficulty paying attention
at school, or develop symptoms like headaches or stomach pains.

When Your Child is the Bully

If you know that your child is bullying others, take it very seriously. Now is the time when you
can change your child’s behavior.

In the long run, bullies continue to have problems. These problems often get worse. If the
bullying behavior is allowed to continue, then when these children become adults, they are much
less successful in their work and family lives and may even get in trouble with the law.

Set firm and consistent limits on your child’s aggressive behavior. Be sure your child knows
that bullying is never OK.
Be a positive role model. Children need to develop new and constructive strategies for getting
what they want.

Show children that they can get what they want without teasing, threatening, or hurting
someone. All children can learn to treat others with respect.

Use effective, nonphysical discipline, such as loss of privileges. When your child needs
discipline, explain why the behavior was wrong and how your child can change it.

Help your child understand how bullying hurts other children. Give real examples of the
good and bad results of your child’s actions.

Develop practical solutions with others. Together with the school principal, teachers,
counselors, and parents of the children your child has bullied, find positive ways to stop the
bullying.

Bullying and Suicide

There is a strong link between bullying and suicide, as suggested by recent bullying-related suicides in
the US and other countries. Parents, teachers, and students learn the dangers of bullying and help
students who may be at risk of committing suicide.

In recent years, a series of bullying-related suicides in the US and across the globe have drawn
attention to the connection between bullying and suicide. Though too many adults still see
bullying as "just part of being a kid," it is a serious problem that leads to many negative effects
for victims, including suicide. Many people may not realize that there is also a link between
being a bully and committing suicide.

The statistics on bullying and suicide are alarming:

 Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths
per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100
suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7
percent have attempted it.
 Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims,
according to studies by Yale University
 A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
 10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above
 According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or
victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of
bullying
 Bully-related suicide can be connected to any type of bullying, including physical bullying,
emotional bullying, cyberbullying, and sexting, or circulating suggestive or nude photos or
messages about a person.
Some schools or regions have more serious problems with bullying and suicide related to
bullying. This may be due to an excessive problem with bullying at the school. It could also be
related to the tendency of students who are exposed to suicide to consider suicide themselves.