Backstory

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\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
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\rin0 \itap0 \fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Proper Treatment}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha
\aspnum \adjustright \lin0 \rin0 \itap0 \fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Screenwriting Column 37}
\af0 \loch \f0 by Terry Rossio}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 ----------}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
\af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha \aspnum
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 NOTES:}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha \aspnum \adjustright \lin0 \rin0 \itap0 \fs21
\af0 \loch \f0 - Source: WORDPLAYER <http://www.wordplayer.com>; Section: COLUMNS}
\af0 \loch \f0 E-mail: <webmaster@wordplayer.com>}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha
\af0 \loch \f0 - See also these HTML-format files linked from the original column:}
\af0 \loch \f0 GODZILLA (sample story outline); SINBAD (sample treatment); and}
\af0 \loch \f0 THE MASK OF ZORRO (sample story outline)}{\fs21 \kerning2
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar
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\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 - Document History: 08-98 (orig); 09-98 (rev)}
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 - Copyright 1998 by Terry Rossio.
Info excerpted from the site...}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 If you want to publish bigger-than-one-paragraph
chunks in books,}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha \aspnum \adjustright \lin0 \rin0
\itap0 \fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 magazines, on the Web, on CD-ROMs, etc., for non-commercial
and/or}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 commercial use... please provide details [via the site or e-mail]}
\af0 \loch \f0 about your intended purpose(s). Thank you!}{\fs21 \kerning2
<------------------------- COLUMN STARTS HERE -------------------------->}{\fs21
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha \aspnum \adjustright
\lin0 \rin0 \itap0 \fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 PROPER TREATMENT}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Some
things just make no sense. This is especially true if you work}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 in
Hollywood. No other business provides so many opportunities for the}{\fs21
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
double-take, the jaw-drop, the stunned-into-silence look of disbelief.}{\fs21
As your resolute reporter, it's often my task to provide descriptions of}{\fs21
utterly senseless behavior.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 It's
tricky. Because to describe, one must first understand. Yet it}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 is the
nature of the senseless that no understanding can be reached, no}{\fs21
clarity achieved. Still, I continue on, churning out words, trudging}{\fs21
through the nonsense...}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 And so
we come to the subject of treatments.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha \aspnum
\af0 \loch \f0 Writing treatments in Hollywood.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\af0 \loch \f0 And already, we're lost.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\af0 \loch \f0 I would like to tell you that up is down, right is wrong, good
is}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 bad, long is short -- but I
can't, because that stuff makes sense.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\af0 \loch \f0 I'm tempted to say, 'Writing treatments is like designing a
film by}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 hiring six million monkeys to tear out pages of an encyclopedia,
then you}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 put the pages through a paper-shredder, randomly grab whatever
intact}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 lines are left, sing them in Italian to a Spanish deaf-mute, and
then}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 make story decisions with the guy via conference call.' But no...}
\af0 \loch \f0 compared to writing treatments, that makes sense, too.}{\fs21
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 There is no understanding. Only
truth. And here's the big one:}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 You
will write reams of treatments in your stay in Hollywood. And}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 not a single
word of any of them will be of any value to anyone. And}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 still, you'll have to do them
anyway.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 I know that doesn't make
sense. It never will. As I said, these}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 days, short of understanding, we just go
for truth.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
\qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha \aspnum \adjustright \lin0 \rin0 \itap0 \fs21
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 So here's another:}{\fs21
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 There is no way to write an
effective treatment... yet there are}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 effective techniques that should
be used to write them.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Nonsense, again, I know.
But I suppose we ought to take a stab at}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 this one. Why can't an effective
treatment be written? Six reasons}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 spring to mind:}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 \loch \f0 1. Your treatment won't get read.}{\fs21 \kerning2
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Bad enough that an executive will take a
meeting having not read}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 the script, or having only skimmed the coverage.
You would think that a}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 seven-page treatment wouldn't be too much of a time
imposition. But it}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 will happen... as you endure a meeting where basic story
points are not}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 generally known, it suddenly hits you -- they didn't read what
you sent}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 them. Insult to injury: this does not mean that the very same
executive}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
\af0 \loch \f0 who didn't read the first treatment will be at all shy about asking
you}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 to
write another.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 2. Your treatment will
be misinterpreted.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Often the biggest
problem with a script is simply that it is not}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 yet a movie. The screenplay is
hard enough -- after all, you're expected}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 to convey an experience that will
eventually be created by hundreds of}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 technicians, with spectacular
effects, using trained actors and}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 musicians, with the advantage of exciting
locations and the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 professionalism that comes with tens of millions of dollars
spent -- all}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
\af0 \loch \f0 with just a few black squiggles on white paper. It takes an
imaginative,}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
\af0 \loch \f0 thoughtful reader to visualize a finished film from a screenplay --}
\af0 \loch \f0 that's a rare ability right there. To go one step removed again and
try}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 to get the same effect from a treatment -- oh, brother. That opens
up}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 even more room for misinterpretation -- and where there's room for}
\af0 \loch \f0 misinterpretation, a vacuum will rush in (or something like that).}
be considered incomplete.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 This
one comes with a money-back guarantee. The main notes you'll}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 receive on your treatment
will reflect concern over the elements that}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 aren't there.}{\fs21 \kerning2
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 If you focused on character, the plot will be
deemed 'unclear.' If}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 you focused on plot, the characterizations will be
considered 'thin.' If}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 you managed to get both character and story in
there, there will be}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 complaints about tone, or a lack of clear theme.
(Remember, you've only}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 got about seven pages.) If you try to include every little
detail,}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 you'll end up writing a twenty-page treatment that will be
considered}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
\af0 \loch \f0 'dense,' 'in need of simplification' and 'lacking in clever dialog,}
\af0 \loch \f0 acting and cinematography.'}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
\af0 \loch \f0 4. Your treatment will be taken literally.}{\fs21
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 So they get the treatment, and panic
sets in. This is the movie}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 that they're going to make and release? Oh, no! You
can talk
to them all}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
\af0 \loch \f0 you like about 'filling out the story' in the writing and 'finding
better}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 solutions' as you move ahead and that much of it is 'placeholder in}
\af0 \loch \f0 nature.' But when an exec sees something written down, they react
like}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 it's carved in stone. (Until it comes times to give their notes, of}
\af0 \loch \f0 course.)}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Often
the treatment becomes a way to present your best ideas in the}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 poorest
possible forum. You give away all your reveals, your best plot}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 turns, all
of your surprises. It's a chance for them to say 'no' to}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 solutions not because they're
bad, but because they're not fully}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 developed. To write a treatment is often an
exercise in outlining the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 stuff that won't ever be in the movie. Do enough
treatments, and there}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 will be nothing left for you to write, because
everything you like, all}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 your first instincts, will be put off-limits.}
become a political weapon,}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 and the writing process will be
delayed.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Of course, all this wrangling
over the story takes time. They will}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 insist to you that they need the
treatment because of imminent deadlines}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 and terrible time constraints --
"Just let us see where you're headed."}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 They'll always promise to not respond,
but that promise goes out the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par
}\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha \aspnum \adjustright \lin0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 window the minute they read it and all of a sudden
"have some concerns."}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 So you find yourself attending more meetings over
what the next treatment}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 will be. Which, of course, will delay the writing,
delay the movie, and}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 make it all the more imperative that the next
treatment be done as}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 quickly as possible, and the cycle begins anew.}
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 (As an aside, this is exactly
similar to a writer turning in}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 'pages.' Producers always say, "When can we see
pages?" But if you give}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 them the first part of the script, guess what,
you'll be having a}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 meeting to 'fix' that stuff before the rest of it is ever
done.)}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 The worst version of the
treatment delay effect comes when there}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 are a number of producers and development
execs involved, and they can't}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 agree on the story amongst themselves. The
treatment gives them a nearly}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 irresistible opportunity to meddle -- and to jockey
for position. The}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 treatment -- along with the writer -- becomes a ping-pong
ball, bouncing}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 around until all the most plausible story solutions have
rendered}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 politically unacceptable by some camp. Meanwhile, the writer's}
\af0 \loch \f0 enthusiasm is drained.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\af0 \loch \f0 It does happen. Working on the animated feature ANTZ,}{\fs21
co-screenwriter Todd Alcott executed and submitted 28 different}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 treatments
for the studio over a period of months. They would have kept}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 asking for more, until the
executive, Nina Jacobson, put a stop to it,}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 and simply demanded that the
writer be allowed to write.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 6.
Your treatment will be understood, and approved.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\af0 \loch \f0 So how is this a problem? It's not, really -- until you turn in
the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 screenplay, and they react with total shock to what you've done with
\af0 \loch \f0 story. Oh, it happens to follow the treatment exactly, of course,
but}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 you're not allowed to point that out to them. And that's the moment
when}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 you realize all the treatment writing was a real waste of time.}
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 By the way, did we mention
that you don't get paid for treatments?}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 There are a few deals that pay a
step upon turning in a treatment, but}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 those are rare in the feature
world.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Gee, I guess you can tell we
don't like writing treatments. So why}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 write them?}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 \loch \f0 Because they ask.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\af0 \loch \f0 And while the treatments themselves might not have much value,}
\af0 \loch \f0 there is value in the act of writing them. It's all about
reassurance.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
\af0 \loch \f0 And building a relationship with the executive. They're in a tough
place}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 -- having to gamble on a writer, and waiting months to see if the
gamble}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha
\aspnum \adjustright \lin0 \rin0 \itap0 \fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 pays off. A treatment
gives them some bit of hope, a scrap of paper to}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 put into their file,
something tangible to hold onto.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
And I suppose treatments do offer some small insurance, to all}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 involved --
if the writer is way, way off, it's probably better to know}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 that sooner
than later. In theory, the best case scenario, a treatment}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 can allow
you to 'skip a draft' and fix story problems without having to}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 execute them
in detailed screenplay form.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 So
let's pretend you're going to write a treatment, and pretend it}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 will have
some usefulness. And heck, no matter what, it's still a piece}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 of writing
with your name on it, so you're gonna want to do it as best}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 as you can.}
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 We'll start with definitions.
(Keep in mind television has its own}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 standards -- we're just talking
film here.) These are my definitions,}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 completely arbitrary, of course,
but of course absolutely correct:}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
A "premise" is an idea for a story; the set-up or situation, with}{\fs21
little or no story implied. Rarely written down to be presented.}{\fs21
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 A "log-line" is a bit more full.
Written in one or two lines, you}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 get the central situation, almost always
a main character, a sense of}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 tone, and an idea of where the story leads.
Example:}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 "A studio reader pulls a
flawless spec script from the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 slushpile -- submitted by Shakespeare.
She communicates}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 with the idealistic Bard by e-mail as the script is}
\af0 \loch \f0 shredded by the Hollywood studio system, and falls in}
\af0 \loch \f0 love along the way."}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
\af0 \loch \f0 The log-line is the sort of thing you'd put in a query letter;}
\af0 \loch \f0 enough to intrigue, with the promise of more, and a sense of}
\af0 \loch \f0 completeness. (Beware; a premise passed off as a log line is really
just}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 a bad log line.)}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\af0 \loch \f0 A "beat outline" is a sparsely-written list of scenes or
events.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 Useful for production draft work, it's a quick way to visualize
chunks}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 of story, follow story logic, make changes, etc.}{\fs21 \kerning2
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 A "synopsis" can be one long paragraph, or
several paragraphs;}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 probably no more than a page-and-a-half in length; usually
less, usually}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 focused on plot. It's often a concise distillation of a story
that exists}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 in longer form, such as the synopsis of a script found in a
coverage.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 An "outline" or "story
outline" is sometimes used interchangeably}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 with synopsis -- but in fact
they're almost always a bit longer, with}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 more detail, more emphasis on
character, tone, and theme, and not solely}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 plot-driven.}{\fs21 \kerning2
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 And finally, a "treatment" is a full
exploration of a story. Covers}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 character, plot, setting, theme; clarifies the
intent of the writer. Can}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 contain character descriptions, a synopsis, or
statements on theme and}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 tone. Attempts to convey the filmgoing experience
through to the story's}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 end; may use bits of key dialog. Usually more than three
pages; average}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 is seven to twelve. My personal feeling is that when a
treatment goes}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 past 30 pages (and some can be 80 or more, and include
sections of}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 screenplay) a writer might just as well show the finished script.
By}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 design, I think, a treatment should be less detailed to read and
write}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 than the script, or what's the point? (This is a presentation note
only}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 -- I think it's a fine technique as a writer to simply let the
treatment}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain
\af0 \loch \f0 keep building until suddenly you have a script on your hands.)}
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Now, rather than make a list
of margin sizes, font types, and}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 layout designs, we're going to show by
example. What we've done is}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 cracked open the trunk, rummaged a bit, pulled out
and dusted off three}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 treatments from our past. These are, for the most
part, early stabs at}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0 \ri0 \widctlpar \aspalpha \aspnum
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 trying to lock down a story
assignment. Each was written to a slightly}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 different purpose, so each has a
different layout, style, tone, etc. And}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 we'll try to throw in a few tips
along the way.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\af0 \loch \f0 TIP #1: USE HEADINGS}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 PROJECT: GODZILLA [see orig. column for
link]}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Here's a trick: when you
write out your story, use headings, like}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 the chapter headings in a novel.
This lets the executives skim -- they}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 can read the story just by reading
the headings, and skip the details:}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 GODZILLA ON THE MOVE and GODZILLA
CAPTURED are hard to misinterpret.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 This
particular 'treatment' is more of an outline, by design. It's}{\fs21 \kerning2
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 a 'leave
behind' document, the kind of thing you'd give the executive}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 after a pitch. The headings
correspond somewhat to the card headings on}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 the pitch board. And it's written
in shorthand form -- enough to be}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 clear, to jog the memory, clear enough to
claim the ideas you've}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 presented in the pitch, but not so complete that you feel you
have the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 full story by reading it alone. (For that, you have to invite the
wr}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 iters back. Hee, hee.)}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\af0 \loch \f0 TIP #2: DIVIDE IT UP}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 PROJECT: SINBAD [see column for link]}
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 This is perhaps our most
common format. We divide up the treatment}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 into sections -- concept,
characterization, theme, tone, and story. This}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 lets you put a spin on the story
-- basically, talk intent, talk about}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 what's cool about your approach.
And it lets you fill up the treatment}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 with stuff that executives can
confidently not read.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 As far
as we know, this SINBAD project has never proceeded past the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 screenplay stage. Reportedly
it's still in development at Disney.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\af0 \loch \f0 TIP #3: USE PROSE STYLE}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 PROJECT: THE MASK OF ZORRO [see
orig. column for link]}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 We used
to think studios wanted to see the behind-the-scenes, the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 story infrastructure, the
secrets to the screenwriting trade. They}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 don't. They want to be
entertained, and they expect the treatment to do}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 it.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch
\af0 \loch \f0 One way to pull this off is to write in a prose style, try to
offer}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 a reading experience that tracks the emotions and feelings of the}
\af0 \loch \f0 film-going experience. That's what we tried to do here -- just write
\af0 \loch \f0 story, no interrruptions, no spin, no embellishments. Keep the
length}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 down and the pace up by using a sort of shorthand prose style.}
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 For the record, "Palatino" is
our favorite 'treatment' font -- it's}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 somewhat formal, but still
friendly (it also may be a Mac-only font).}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Here we tried to make the writing
seem more 'workmanlike' and submitted}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 the treatment in "Courier" (but we
did go wild with the little}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 section-division "Zapf Dingbats" Xs; we were trying
to look old}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 fashioned and flamboyant).}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
\af0 \loch \f0 Interesting story note -- this incarnation of the ZORRO story
has}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 the 'Diego betrayal' solution. The problem that Diego has in the
film is}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 for Elena to learn the truth of her parentage. This version has a
duena}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 who knows the truth as well as Montero. Diego takes advantage of
\af0 \loch \f0 romance between Alejandro and Elena, and gets Alejandro to claim to
be}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 Diego's son. This would make Alejandro and Elena brother and sister
--}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 which motivates Elena's duena to tell her the truth, that Diego is
her}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj \li0
\af0 \loch \f0 father, in an attempt to end the romance... which is exactly what
Diego}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 planned. This was dubbed by Spielberg to be a 'Rube Goldbergian
plot}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
\af0 \loch \f0 device' and was subsequently scrapped. What should have gone in its}
\af0 \loch \f0 place was Diego taking the map and blackmailing Montero to tell the}
\af0 \loch \f0 truth, though that never quite made it into the movie.}{\fs21
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 We'll end with one final
tip: if it's at all possible, try to}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 proceed to the screenplay without
writing a treatment at all.}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\hich \af0 \loch \af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Ted
came up with how to do it. When they ask you to write a}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2
\af0 {\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 treatment, what you say is,
"Sure, but... we're not quite certain of the}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 format, exactly what you want to
see... could you send us an example of a}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 treatment you liked?"}{\fs21
\kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 This is a beautiful thing, because
either they'll have to admit}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 they've never seen a treatment they liked -- in
which case, why should}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard
\hich \af0 \loch \f0 we be writing one? -- or they'll answer, "We'll check our
files."}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 \par }\pard \plain \qj
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Forced, then, to confront
their own nonsense, they'll never get back}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 to you on it, and pretty soon
you're commenced, and on your way doing}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 what you should do, which is
writing your screenplay. (Hee hee -- picture}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 Bugs Bunny, crunching into a
carrot, looking into the camera -- "I'm}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0
{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 suuuch a stinker!")}{\fs21
<-------------------------- COLUMN STOPS HERE -------------------------->}{\fs21
Copyright 1998 Terry Rossio}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 <http://www.wordplayer.com>}{\fs21 \kerning2
\dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch \f0 ###}{\fs21 \kerning2 \dbch \af2 \hich \af0 \loch
\f0 \par }}

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