So GCA , BGC it’s been a long road huh :D almost 2 years god damn.

Who
knew, from me and Ri, in a shady room , doing our gabgbang, hunting hoes,
livin the live, naive, hungry. To this now, if someone told me we would come
this far, i wouldn’t belive, but yet, we always did dream a bigger dream right
after we have been successful with the previous, there has been suffering
down the road, fighting betwin us, betwin Recas stubbornness, betwin RIs
presistan thinking on wierd stuff , betwin my impulsive episodes where i went
on rants about not that important stuff, we all made mistakes , hurt people,
but never seem to pay enough for it, either because we were in denial, had too
much pride, or we just were ignorant and ignored it. There has been wars,
betwin the clubs , the newly found auction alliance , the rise of new wave
clubs, the fall of old ones, beaten the ods, beated 5 against one, made them
join later, shown the ppl who took us as bad, racist, hateful, that they are
wrong, that they were wrong, and some of them even grew to love it here. But
aside all the bad shit, wich is normal because we became a community there
are the good things, the firends, the relationships, the endless conversations
that kepts us awake time and time again, oversleeping for schools, jobs,
thinking just about a new day to come back again and see those fucker, maybe
because we wanted to run away from the real life wich was, bad, tense, boring
and found a nice shelter in the club, or the people in it were just so amazing
that you couldn’t move away from them. Abusive masters, the unloyal hoes,
the mistresses, the sissies, the futas, the gays....Hell we had everyone, and did
good by any of them. We teached people how to rp, how to respect, picked up
the confidance levels of peoples. And god damn, even for a tiny little period of
time we had, happyines in this club, any of us. No matter how bad it got IRL,
we log on, in the, game, on kik or discord, and those people right there made
us fuckin smile when we felt like crying. And fuck it, even if you wanted to cry,
there, you could, nobady judged you for anything. And for that, and for all the
good and bad things, we loved this place.
But, when i started, i wanted to make a story, a story wich i’ll be a part of it, a
story that i’ll shape and see the beginning, the development of the story and a
beautiful conclusion, that will last for a long time, but i made a mistake in
thinking like this, because this story, became big, this book, hardened its cover,
made sure it’s gonna be kept writing, and i made a mistake thinking it was
about me, when in fact, it was about all of us, bigger of each of us yet we are
what makes it.
So for something to be bigger then an individual, it means that the story will
continue even if he is gone, made a pause, or just took a vacation from it. The
story got it’s own life, writes itself and can go on long time after that individual
is gone. So, GCA is my story guys, and i am the individual. And there comes a
time, that, when the character is a long time in the story, either the story hurts
the character, or character affects the whole story in the wrong way. Either it’s
because the story goes in a way that is different from him, or he made
mistakes that led his role to the end. So, even if i would like to think it was me
who made mistakes, at the end of the day, the number one thing that gave me
confidance and in what i belived whole of my life is, do the right thing even if it
hurts the most, even if it means sacrificing every single thing that u hold dear,
because there is something called the greater good, there is something that is
called happiness of other people, as an empathic person, i like to provide it, to
the worthy, even at the expence of myself, damn, for a guy that was so dom,
sound a lot sub. But i think it’s not tho, i think loving the club is not sub,
showing love is not sub, it takes god damn huge balls to admit and express
that, to open urself knowing u can be hurt, or u can be betrayed, but if you
belive in yourself enough it should not affect you, but for that , you have to
love yourself more then someone or something else, and unfortunately that is
not a case with me, i am the one who trusts, who gives chances, and who loves
the club very much, not matter how many times someone betrays ur trust, no
matter how many times he does the same thing, i belive in people and
changing them, sometimes it works , and sometimes does not. There is a story
from and anime, wich ya’ll probably know, a man speaking with his inner
demon, and he tells him, humans always treat me the same, they wanna cage
me, use my power, and keep me where i am, and the boy answers, i don’t care
what they did to you, they are not me, and i am coming for all that hate inside
you, we will bare it together, and we will die together... So to repeat, i am not
regretting trusting people when they fail me, because it’s not me that they fail,
it’s them, and realisation of ur own mistake is much more painful then getting
defeated, because u have no one to blame but yourself. And i have no regrets.
But as that boy as i like to think of myself, in difference of him, i got scars,
deep, wide, fragile scars, dragging them either from real life, or from the club
and there is only so much a human can take, when someone digs the kife in
the same spot again and again, no matter how fast you heal, you are going to
bleed out...So i gues, those scars had been stabbed enough times...So, i will be
leaving. Because, wounds awake frustration when they are reopened, and
frustration affects thinking, and thinking wrongly in my position, affects the
club, and i wouldn’t want anything bad for the club. Now, i was thinking of
leaving before, when i had problems, when i couln’t take the wrong thinking
and the wrong ways we or someone else was doing, but is toped it because i
was afraid the club will go in wrong hands, but now, this staff, this line up,
makes me think, that the club will be just fine, and it will, because as i said, it’s
bigger then all of us, it breathes, it has it’s own life. And it’s own ideology. So
with all of you, at the top of it, it will survive for a long, long time. And even
now, i am not excluding a possibility of coming back, i don’t wanna set the
word in stone, because i would be lying maybe, but i’ll just have to see what
hurts me more, being in the club or being out of it. It is fine either way, since
pain is a good shaping tool, it inspires wonderfull things. Now i would like to
point out that in my 2 years here, i was lying to you all only once, and i’d like to
keep that secret with me forever, so it again does not affect the club.
Everything else i’ve said trough the years, no matter how trivial, was true. I did
put a lot of myself , real self in the club , and maybe it was a bad idea. Tho, i
did always looks at BM as a slightly better version of Stephan. But hey, look,
even the almightly BM is not that mighty, no one is, so i gues time will tell. So
without further adue, and to not bullshit bout this a lot more, don’t try to ask
why, because i will not tell you, it’s going to make it only worse, don’t try to
bring me back, because it will pushe me further away. I am always there if you
need advices, or anything else just won’t be in the club. So ya’ll can still reach
the sensei. Anyways, i apologise for making some of you think this gonna be a
book, needed your attention so you can read it, and i apologise for making you
sad, i know it’s selfish of me, but u know my style, when i am going out i like it
with fireworks!! So guys, enjoy, fuck around, fuck eachother, make eachother
happy, that was my ultimate goal by making this, and i am going for the exact
same goal, to make some of you happy. And don’t worry, i can take it. I can
take so much more and still stand. And one more thing, what made me leave it
didn’t happen recently, shit has been pieling up. So thins ninja leaves it to the
next Hokage bitches, time for new generations!!! BM OUT!!