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Literature Review Data Protocol Feedback
Literature Review Data Protocol Feedback
GRADEMARK REPORT
Instructor
26
T he literature review hints at some interesting new
models f or using digital technology within the
classroom. T he challenge that was evident in your
literature review is that the topic is very broad. What
your literature review would have benef ited f rom is a
narrowing down to a specif ic area of digital
technology and perhaps the testing of the CSCL
PAGE 1
Strikethrough.
QM Rephrase idea
Focus on the language in this sentence. Reread this section, and then state your ideas in a
clear way so that they make sense to your readers.
QM Rephrase idea
Focus on the language in this sentence. Reread this section, and then state your ideas in a
clear way so that they make sense to your readers.
QM Spelling
You need to run a spell-check on your work and check the spelling of your ref erences caref ully.
You will also need to manually proof -read your work AFT ER you run a spell-check because
sometimes words are auto-corrected incorrectly. Visit the ‘Finishing and submitting’ section of
the Study Smart website
(http://westernsydney.edu.au/studysmart/home/assignment_help/writing) and download the
resources on Editing
(http://westernsydney.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf _f ile/0005/1082480/Editing.pdf ) and
Proof reading
(http://westernsydney.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf _f ile/0010/1082683/Proof reading.pdf ).
QM Incomplete sentence
T his is not a complete sentence as it has no main verb. Visit the ‘Writing’ section of the Study
Smart website (http://westernsydney.edu.au/studysmart/home/assignment_help/writing) and
download the resource on sentence structure
(http://westernsydney.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf _f ile/0004/1082794/Sentence_Structure.pdf ) to
improve your skills in this area.
QM S/V Agreement
Subject-verb agreement:
Subjects and verbs should match in number and person. Singular subjects require singular
verbs; plural subjects require plural verbs.
QM Sp.
Spelling error
QM Prep.
Incorrect preposition:
Some words must be used together with certain prepositions in order to create the meaning you
intend. For example, to yell "to" someone is dif f erent f rom yelling "at" someone. Some
conf usion results f rom words such as "compare," which usually takes the preposition "to" when
it ref ers to describing the resemblances between things that are not similar, and takes the
preposition "with" when it describes the resemblances between things that are similar.
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Comment 2
which are? Please give some more concrete examples to clarif y the "af f ordances" of computer
technology.
Comment 3
good but relate this to your research question and show why this point is relevant.
QM Sp
spelling error
PAGE 4
Comment 4
how is the CMS related to student learning and participation. What are some of the challenges
f or students who do not have access to high levels of technology impact on your
thesis/research proposal.
Comment 5
some good points raised but these need to be developed to give a clear reason why f urther
research needs to be undertaken. In other words what is the problem with the way ICT is
currently being used.
PAGE 5
QM Develop paraphrasing
Paraphrasing means writing about another author’s ideas in your own words, and also providing
the ref erencing details of where those ideas come f rom. T his is important to avoid copying
(plagiarism) but also because your reader is interested in your understanding of what the
author is saying. So it is not enough to change a f ew words around; it is about writing what
YOU think the meaning of the original text is and how it f its into your own ideas and writing. You
can f ind good resources on ref erencing, paraphrasing, and other ways of using sources on the
Study Smart website
(http://www.westernsydney.edu.au/studysmart/home/assignment_help/writing) and vUWS site.
Download the resources on Ref erencing and citation, Quoting, Summarising and Paraphrasing
f rom 'Using sources'.
Comment 6
good but you to unpack what this model is and does and what it's relevance is to your main
point. Your main point is not entirely clear. It would have been better to f ocus on what the sub
tasks are and how these help students to "learn what they want to know"
QM Example Needed
Example needed. For an argument to be convincing you need to provide relevant examples that
illustrate your main point and expand on your claims
PAGE 6
Comment 7
T his sentence is very important and needed to be located in your f irst or second paragraph to
contextualise your thesis and make clear the research problem that you are going to
investigate.
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Comment 8
good
Comment 9
this part is very unclear
Comment 10
what behaviours will you deem as being engaged or more engaged
PAGE 12
Comment 11
by who, how?
Comment 12
more on this aspect as I can see this helping you to collect your data
Comment 13
are students observing and commenting on each others use of technology? T his section needs
f urther clarity
PAGE 13
RUBRIC: RTL2 ASSIGNMENT 2 2H20 16
REVIEW Pass
FAIL • Review is not complete or f ails to demonstrate accurate knowledge • Review does
not provide a clear synthesis of the appropriate literature f or the topic
HIGH DISTINCTION • Review provides complete, explicit, well-substantiated, claims, and demonstrates
sophisticated knowledge • Review provides a sophisticated synthesis of the
appropriate literature f or the topic (representing a wide range of reading or analysing
seminal articles)
HIGH DISTINCTION • Protocol demonstrates sophisticated knowledge of data collection procedures and
connects to the topic • Explanation is complete and justif ies the design,
demonstrating sophisticated thinking • Protocol is original or modif ied f rom original
source
WRIT ING Pass
FAIL • Work lacks structure; little evidence paper has been edited; terminology
inappropriate; f requent spelling/ typographic errors. • Poor paraphrasing; over
reliance on quotes; no or inaccurate ref erence list and poor in-text ref erencing; not
submitted to T urnitin or high level of matches.
PASS • Generally clear structure; paper/presentation has introduction, body and conclusion;
developed with student’s voice; sentences coherent and grammatically correct; within
word/time length; some typographic and /or spelling errors. • Generally accurate APA
ref erencing; submitted to T urnitin; originality report detects some insignif icant
matches. Some analysis and voice present but needs improvement.
DISTINCTION • Clear and concise structure; strengthened by relevant research; grammar and syntax
well-used; cohesive text within word/time length; discriminating use of appropriate
vocabulary; f ew typographic or spelling errors. • Consistently accurate APA
ref erencing; competent integration of evidence, low percentage f or T urnitin; original
work with insignif icant matches. Ef f ective use of voice and analysis.
HIGH DISTINCTION • Extremely well structured paper or innovative presentation; explicitly identif ies the
key issues; cohesive, grammatically correct structure with impeccable precision; very
f ew typographic or spelling errors. • Consistently accurate APA ref erencing;
competent integration of evidence with highly ef f ective use of voice and analysis,
submitted to T urnitin; original work.