Y Por Ellas

An immigrant from El Salvador

Or Woman with a dream
A pregnant sixteen year old
Or a Woman with a child
A depressed teen
Or Woman who needed to let others in

She was my grandmother

Who grew stronger covering every shift ending at the crack of dawn
She was my mother
Who had to raise a baby boy, alone
She was my older sister
Who was always in a state of despondency

She grew up in a poor country and left everything she knew behind to help heal the lacerations of
“love” on her mother left by a drunken father
She grew up in the projects, with a mother preoccupied with working too many jobs, she was
surrounded by the only family she would ever know. Desolation
She grew up always feeling alone and knew not to cry or speak of the pain she felt inside.

One day she would have a home of her own

One day she would get married to the love of her life
One day she would travel the world with all expenses paid

Instead it was rent

Instead it was resentment
Instead it was student loan debt

The long shifts were not enough

Dreams decay just as memories fade and physical forms stay behind in a grave
Love ran out
Unloved, alone, and afraid once again what a terrible place
School was just too much
The pain grew to hate

They fight hard

They are ashamed, disappointed
I Am Proud
These are the women in my life the generations past, present, and future filled with dreams, they
have been so close to making a reality but they relinquished their ambitions feeling time was not
enough. Each one afraid of the disease they cannot remember, the emotional scars left by the
men who deserted them, and the parents they are determined never to become.

I used to be afraid of having a similar fate it seemed to be a reality that none of us would escape
but I learned that our families are not prophets for the future but lessons.

As I grew older I became overwhelmed with pride for the women in my life so headstrong and
always ready to fight
They were never afraid of life just the heartache of prosperity

Pero la fuerza que han tenido es una tan bonita

(But the strength they have had is so beautiful)
Me hace pensar en la belleza que es nuestra vida y en todo que se puede lograr
(It makes me think about the beauty in our lives and all that can be accomplished)
Me hizo apreciar mi cultura algo que cuando estaba pequeña no entendía, que en otras casas no
era lo mismo, que no todos hablamos español y no todos comemos pupusas y frijoles negros,
nunca pensé que éramos tan diferentes y ahora con mis ojos abiertos entiendo que la vida no es
vida sin la gente, con su individualidad todos bailando, comiendo, y llorando a la misma vez por
esas culturas
(It made me appreciate my culture something that when I was little I didn't know in other houses
it wasn't the same, not everyone spoke spanish, not everyone ate pupusas and black beans, I
never knew we were so different and now with my eyes wide open I understand that life is not
life without people,their individuality everyone dancing, eating, crying at the same time because
of those cultures)

And in society today we see the strength of women just like mine
It has been a hard battle for that sun kissed caramelo mujer (caramel woman)
It has been a rough life for that sweet chocolate woman

Y por ellas yo conozco la importancia del amor por uno mismo y la dignidad.
(And because of them I know the importance of self love and dignity.)