‫ﺳﺎﻋﺖ ﺍﺳﺘﺮﺍﺣﺖ‬

‫ﻟﻨﮕﺴﺘﻮﻥ ﻫﻴﻮﺯ _ ﻋﻠﻲﺍﺻﻐﺮ ﺭﺍﺷﺪﺍﻥ‬

‫ﺑﺮﮔﺮﻓﺘﻪ ﺍﺯ ﻣﺠﻤﻮﻋﻪ ﺩﺍﺳﺘﺎﻥﻫﺎﻱ ﺳﺎﺩﻩﻟﻮﺡ‬

‫ﮔﻔﺖ‪:‬‬
‫–ﺭﻳﻴﺲ ﻣﻦ ﺳﻔﻴﺪ ﭘﻮﺳﺘﻪ‪.‬‬
‫ﮔﻔﺘﻢ‪:‬‬
‫–ﺑﻴﺸﺘﺮ ﺭﻳﻴﺴﺎ ﺳﻔﻴﺪ ﭘﻮﺳﺘﻦ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺳﻔﻴﺪ ﭘﻮﺳﺖ ﻭ ﭘﺮﭼﻮﻧﻪ‪ .‬ﻳﻪ ﺭﻳﺰﻡ ﻣﻲﭘﺮﺳﻪ ﻛﻪ ﺳﻴﺎ ﺩﻳﮕﻪ ﭼﻲ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﺩ‪ .‬ﺩﻳﺮﻭﺯ ﺑﺎﺯ ﺗﻮ ﺳﺎﻋﺖ‬
‫ﺍﺳﺘﺮﺍﺣﺖ ﻛﺎﻓﻪ‪ ،‬ﺑﺎ ﺣﺮﻑ ﻫﺎﻱ ﺻﺪﺗﺎ ﻳﻪ ﻏﺎﺯﺵ ﺩﺭﺑﺎﺭﻩ ﺳﻴﺎ ﭘﻮﺳﺘﺎ‪ ،‬ﺍﻟﻨﮕﺎﺗﻢ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺑﻮﺩ‪ .‬ﺍﻭﻥ‬
‫ﻫﻤﻴﺸﻪ ﻣﻲﮔﻪ ﺳﻴﺎ‪ .‬ﺍﻧﮕﺎﺭ ‪ ۱۱۵۰‬ﻧﻮﻉ ﺟﻮﺭ ﻭﺍﺟﻮﺭ ﺳﻴﺎﭘﻮﺳﺖ ﺗﻮ ﺁﻣﺮﻳﻜﺎ ﻭﺟﻮﺩ ﻧﺪﺍﺭﻩ‪ .‬ﺭﻳﻴﺴﻢ‬
‫ﻣﻲﮔﻪ‪ :‬ﺣﺎﻻ ﻛﻪ ﻫﻤﺘﻮﻥ ﺣﻖ ﺷﻬﺮﻭﻧﺪﻱ ﻭ ﺩﻳﻮﺍﻥ ﻋﺎﻟﻲ ﺭﻭ ﺑﻪ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺁﻭﺭﺩﻳﻦ‪ ،‬ﺁﺩﺍﻡ ﭘﺎﻭﻝ ﺗﻮ‬
‫ﻛﻨﮕﺮﻩ ﺳﺖ‪ ،‬ﺭﺍﻟﻒ ﺑﻮﻧﭻ ﺗﻮ ﻣﺠﻠﺴﻪ‪ ،‬ﻟﺌﻮﻧﺘﺎﻳﻦ ﭘﺮﺍﻳﺲ ﺗﻮ ﺍﭘﺮﺍﻱ ﻣﺘﺮﻭﭘﻮﻟﻴﺘﻦ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﻧﻪ‪ ،‬ﺑﺎﻻﺗﺮ ﺍﺯ‬
‫ﻫﻤﻪ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻛﻪ ﺩﻛﺘﺮ ﻣﺎﺭﺗﻴﻦ ﻟﻮﺗﺮﻛﻴﻨﮓ ﺟﺎﻳﺰﻩ ﻧﻮﺑﻞ ﺭﻭ ﻣﻲﮔﻴﺮﻩ‪ ،‬ﺩﻳﮕﻪ ﺑﻴﺶﺗﺮ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻳﻦ ﭼﻲ‬
‫ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﻳﻦ ﺷﻤﺎ؟ ﺍﺯ ﻫﻤﻴﻦ ﺗﻮ ﻣﻲﭘﺮﺳﻢ‪ ،‬ﺳﻴﺎ ﺩﻳﮕﻪ ﭼﻲ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﺩ؟‬
‫–ﻣﻦ ﺳﻴﺎ ﻧﻴﺴﺘﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺧﻮﺩﻣﻢ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺧﺐ‪ ،‬ﺗﻮ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﻨﺪﻩﻱ ﺳﻴﺎ ﻛﻪ ﻫﺴﺘﻲ!‬
‫–ﻧﻪ‪ ،‬ﻣﻦ ﻧﻴﺴﺘﻢ‪ .‬ﻣﻦ ﻓﻘﻂ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﻨﺪﻩﻱ ﺷﺨﺺ ﺧﻮﺩﻣﻢ‪.‬‬
‫–ﭘﺲ ﺭﺍﻟﻒ ﺑﻮﻧﭻ ﻭ ﺗﻮﺭﮔﻮﺩ ﻣﺎﺭﺷﺎﻝ ﻭ ﻣﺎﺭﺗﻴﻦ ﻟﻮﺗﺮﻛﻴﻨﮓ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﻨﺪﻩﻱ ﺗﻮ ﻫﺴﺘﻦ‪ ،‬ﻧﻴﺴﺘﻦ؟‬
‫–ﺍﮔﻪ ﺗﻮ ﻣﻲﮔﻲ ﺍﻭﻧﺎ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﻨﺪﻩﻱ ﻣﻨﻦ‪ ،‬ﻣﻦ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻛﻪ ﺍﻭﻥ ﺟﻮﺭ ﺁﺩﻣﺎ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﻨﺪﻩﻱ ﻣﻨﻦ‪ ،‬ﺧﻴﻠﻲ ﺑﻪ‬
‫ﺧﻮﺩﻡ ﻣﻲﺑﺎﻟﻢ‪ .‬ﻭﻟﻲ ﺗﻤﻮﻡ ﺍﻭﻧﺎﻳﻲ ﺭﻭ ﻛﻪ ﺍﺳﻢ ﻣﻲﺑﺮﻱ‪ ،‬ﺩﻧﺒﺎﻝ ﻛﺎﺭﻭ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﺧﻮﺩﺷﻮﻧﻦ ﻭ ﺗﻮ ﺑﺎﺭ‬
‫ﻣﻦ ﺁﺑﺠﻮ ﻧﻤﻲﺧﻮﺭﺩﻥ‪ .‬ﻣﻦ ﻫﻴﭽﻮﻗﺖ ﻳﻜﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻭﻧﺎ ﺭﻭ ﺗﻮ ﺧﻴﺎﺑﻮﻥ ﻟﻨﻮﻛﺲ ﻧﺪﻳﺪﻡ‪ .‬ﺗﺎ ﺍﻭﻥ ﺟﺎﻛﻪ‬
‫ﺑﻪ ﻳﺎﺩ ﺩﺍﺭﻡ‪ ،‬ﺍﻭﻧﺎ ﺣﺘﻲ ﺗﻮ ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻧﻤﻲﻛﻨﻦ‪ .‬ﻣﻦ ﺣﺘﻲ ﻧﻤﻲﺗﻮﻧﻢ ﺍﺳﻢ ﺷﻮﻧﻮ ﺗﻮ ﺩﻓﺘﺮ ﺗﻠﻔﻦ‬
‫ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﻛﻨﻢ‪ .‬ﻫﻤﻪﺷﻮﻥ ﺷﻤﺎﺭﻩﻱ ﺍﺧﺘﺼﺎﺻﻲ ﺩﺍﺭﻥ‪ .‬ﺍﮔﻪ ﺗﻮ ﻣﻲﮔﻲ ﺍﻭﻧﺎ ﻧﻤﺎﻳﻨﺪﻩﻱ ﺳﻴﺎ ﻫﺴﺘﻦ‪ ،‬ﻭﺍﺳﻪ‬
‫ﭼﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺧﻮﺩﺷﻮﻥ ﻧﻤﻲﭘﺮﺳﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺳﻴﺎ ﺩﻳﮕﻪ ﭼﻲ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﺩ؟‬
‫–ﻣﻦ ﻧﻤﻲﺗﻮﻧﻢ ﺑﻪ ﺍﻭﻧﺎ ﺩﺳﺖ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﻛﻨﻢ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺧﺐ‪ ،‬ﻣﻨﻢ ﻧﻤﻲﺗﻮﻧﻢ‪ .‬ﭘﺲ ﻫﺮﺩﻭﻣﻮﻥ ﻣﺜﻪ ﻫﻤﻴﻢ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺧﻴﻠﻪ ﺧﺐ‪ ،‬ﻗﻀﻴﻪ ﺭﻭ ﺍﺯ ﻧﺰﺩﻳﻚﺗﺮ ﻧﻴﮕﺎ ﻛﻨﻴﻢ‪ .‬ﺭﻭﻱ ﻭﻳﻠﻜﻴﺘﺮ ﺗﻮ ﺟﺒﻬﻪﻱ ﺷﻤﺎ ﻣﻲﺟﻨﮕﻪ‪،‬‬
‫ﺟﻴﻤﺰ ﻓﺎﺭﻣﺮﻡ ﻫﻤﻴﻦ ﻃﻮﺭ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺍﻭﻧﺎ ﺗﻮ ﺑﺎﺭ ﻣﻦ ﭼﻴﺰ ﻧﻤﻲﺧﻮﺭﻥ‪.‬‬
‫–ﻭﻳﻠﻜﻴﺘﺮ ﻭ ﻓﺎﺭﻣﺮ ﺗﻮ ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻧﻤﻲﻛﻨﻦ؟‬
‫–ﺗﺎ ﺍﻭﻥ ﺟﺎ ﻛﻪ ﻣﻦ ﻣﻲﺩﻭﻧﻢ‪ ،‬ﺍﻳﻦ ﺩﻭﺭﻭ ﻭﺭﺍ ﭘﻴﺪﺍ ﺷﻮﻥ ﻧﺸﺪﻩ‪ .‬ﻓﻜﺮ ﻣﻲﻛﻨﻢ ﺍﺯ ﻭﻗﺘﻲ ﺟﻜﻲ‬
‫ﻣﺎﺑﻠﻲ ﺍﻭﻟﻴﻦ ﺟﻮﻙ ﺷﻮ ﮔﻔﺖ‪ ،‬ﺍﻭﻧﺎ ﭘﺎ ﺗﻮ ﺑﺎﺭ ﺁﭘﻮﻟﻮﻥ ﻧﺬﺍﺷﺘﻦ‪.‬‬
‫–ﻣﻦ ﺍﻭﻧﻮ ﻧﻤﻲﺷﻨﺎﺳﻢ‪ ،‬ﻭﻟﻲ ﻧﻴﭙﺴﻲ ﺭﺍﺳﻞ ﻭ ﺑﻴﻞ ﻛﺎﺳﺒﻲ ﺭﻭ ﺗﻮ ﺗﻠﻮﻳﺰﻳﻮﻥ ﻣﻲﺑﻴﻨﻢ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺟﻚ ﻣﺎﺑﻠﻲ ﺍﻭﻥ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ‪ .‬ﺍﻭﻥ ﻳﻪ ﺯﻧﻪ ﻛﻪ ﺑﻪ ﺍﺳﻢ ﻣﺎﻣﺰ ﻣﻌﺮﻭﻓﻪ‪.‬‬
‫–ﻋﺠﺐ!‬
‫–ﻣﺎﻣﺰ ﻣﺎﺑﻠﻲ ﺗﻮ ﻳﻜﻲ ﺍﺯ ﺻﻔﺤﻪﻫﺎﺵ ﻳﻪ ﺩﺍﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﺩﺭﺑﺎﺭﻩﻱ ﺳﻨﺪﻱ ﺍﻻ ﻭ ﺩﻣﭙﺎﻳﻲ ﻫﺎﻱ‬
‫ﺟﺎﺩﻭﻳﻲﺵ ﻛﻪ ﺗﻮ ﻣﺠﻠﺲ ﺟﻮﻭﻧﺎ ﻣﻲ ﺭﻗﺼﻪ ﻭ ﺍﺗﻔﺎﻗﻲ ﻛﻪ ﻭﺍﺳﻪ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﻡ ﻛﻮﭼﻮﻟﻮ ﻣﻲﺍﻓﺘﻪ‪ ،‬ﺩﺍﺭﻩ‪.‬‬
‫ﺗﻤﻮﻡ ﺩﺍﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﺩﺭﺑﺎﺭﻩﻱ ﺍﻭﻥ ﭼﻴﺰﻳﻪ ﻛﻪ ﺳﻴﺎ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﺩ‪.‬‬
‫–ﭘﺎﻳﺎﻥ ﺩﺍﺳﺘﺎﻥ ﭼﻪ ﺟﻮﺭﻳﻪ؟‬
‫– ﺳﻨﺪﻱ ﺍﻻﻱ ﻛﻮﭼﻮﻟﻮ ﺗﺎ ﻧﺼﻒ ﺷﺐ ﺑﺎ ﺭﻳﻴﺲ ﻛﻮﻛﻼﻛﺲ ﻛﻼﻥ ﻣﻲﺭﻗﺼﻪ‪ .‬ﺳﺎﻋﺖ ﺯﻧﮓ‬
‫ﺩﻭﺍﺯﺩﻩ ﺭﻭ ﻛﻪ ﻣﻲﺯﻧﻪ ﺳﻨﺪﻱ ﺍﻻ–ﻱ ﻛﻮﭼﻮﻟﻮ ﺑﻪ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻣﻌﻤﻮﻟﻲ ﺳﻴﺎ ﭘﻮﺳﺘﻲ ﺧﻮﺩﺵ‬
‫ﺑﺮﻣﻲﮔﺮﺩﻩ‪ .‬ﻛﻼﻩ ﮔﻴﺲ ﺑﻠﻮﻧﺪﺵ ﺑﻪ ﻳﻪ ﻛﻼﻩ ﺑﺎﻓﺘﻨﻲ ﺳﻴﺎ ﺗﻐﻴﻴﺮ ﺷﻜﻞ ﻣﻲﺩﻩ ﻭ ﻫﻔﺘﻪﻱ ﺑﻌﺪﺵ ﺑﻪ‬
‫ﻣﺤﺎﻛﻤﻪ ﻛﺸﻮﻧﺪﻩ ﻣﻲﺷﻪ‪.‬‬
‫–ﻳﻪ ﺍﻓﺴﺎﻧﻪﻱ ﻧﻤﺎﺩﻳﻦ‪ .‬ﺑﻪ ﻧﻈﺮ ﻣﻦ‪ ،‬ﻳﻌﻨﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺳﻴﺎ ﺗﻮ ﺯﻧﺪﻭﻧﻪ‪ .‬ﻭﻟﻲ ﺗﻮ ﻛﻪ ﺯﻧﺪﻭﻧﻲ ﻧﻴﺴﺘﻲ!‬
‫–ﺍﻳﻦ ﺑﺮﺩﺍﺷﺖ ﺗﻮﺋﻪ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺵ‬
‫–ﺧﺐ‪ ،‬ﺗﻮ ﭼﻲ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﻱ؟‬
‫–ﻛﻪ ﺍﺯ ﺯﻧﺪﻭﻥ ﺑﻴﺎﻡ ﺑﻴﺮﻭﻥ‪.‬‬
 ‫–ﻛﺪﻭﻡ ﺯﻧﺪﻭﻥ؟‬
‫–ﻫﻤﻴﻦ ﺯﻧﺪﻭﻧﻲ ﻛﻪ ﺗﻮ ﻣﻨﻮ ﺗﻮﺵ ﺍﻧﺪﺍﺧﺘﻲ!‬
‫ﺭﻳﻴﺴﻢ ﻓﺮﻳﺎﺩ ﻣﻲﺯﻧﻪ ﻛﻪ‪:‬‬
‫–ﻣﻦ! ﻣﻦ ﻛﻪ ﺗﻮ ﺭﻭ ﺗﻮ ﺯﻧﺪﻭﻥ ﻧﻨﺪﺍﺧﺘﻢ‪ .‬ﺗﻮ ﭼﻲ ﻣﻲﮔﻲ ﭘﺴﺮ! ﻣﻦ ﺗﻮ ﺭﻭ ﺩﻭﺳﺘﺖ ﺩﺍﺭﻡ‪ .‬ﻣﻦ ﻳﻪ‬
‫ﻟﻴﺒﺮﺍﻟﻢ‪ .‬ﻭﺍﺳﻪ ﻛﻨﺪﻱ ﺭﺃﻱ ﺟﻤﻊ ﻛﺮﺩﻡ ﻭ ﺣﺎﻻﻡ ﻭﺍﺳﻪ ﺟﺎﻧﺴﻮﻥ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻛﺎﺭ ﺭﻭ ﻣﻲﻛﻨﻢ‪ .‬ﻣﻦ‬
‫ﻃﺮﻓﺪﺍﺭ ﺑﺮﺍﺑﺮﻱﺍﻡ‪ .‬ﺣﺎﻻ ﻛﻪ ﺗﻮ ﺍﻭﻧﻮ ﺑﻪﺩﺳﺖ ﺁﻭﺭﺩﻱ ‪،‬ﺩﻳﮕﻪ ﺑﻴﺶﺗﺮ ﺍﺯ ﺍﻳﻦ ﭼﻲ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﻱ؟‬
‫–ﺑﺮﺍﺑﺮﻱ ﺩﻭﺑﺎﺭﻩ‪.‬‬
‫–ﻣﻨﻈﻮﺭﺕ ﺍﺯ ﺑﺮﺍﺑﺮﻱ ﺩﻭﺑﺎﺭﻩ ﭼﻴﻪ؟‬
‫–ﻛﻪ ﺗﻮ ﺑﺎ ﻣﻦ ﻗﺎﻃﻲ ﺑﺸﻲ‪ ،‬ﻧﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺑﺎ ﺗﻮ‪.‬‬
‫–ﻣﻨﻈﻮﺭﺕ ﺍﻳﻨﻪ ﻛﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺑﻴﺎﻡ ﺗﻮ ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻛﻨﻢ؟ ﺍﺻﻼ ﻭ ﺍﺑﺪﺍ!‬
‫–ﻣﻦ ﺗﻮ ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﺯﻧﺪﮔﻲ ﻣﻲﻛﻨﻢ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺗﻮ ﺑﺎ ﺍﻭﻥ ﺟﺎ ﺍﺧﺖ ﺷﺪﻱ ﻭ ﻛﻨﺎﺭ ﺍﻭﻣﺪﻱ‪ .‬ﺗﻮ ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﺟﻨﺎﻳﺖ ﺧﻴﻠﻲ ﺯﻳﺎﺩﻩ‪.‬‬
‫– ﺗﻮ ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﺑﺎﻧﻚ ﺯﻧﻲ ﺩﻭﻳﺴﺖ ﻫﺰﺍﺭ ﺩﻻﺭﻱ ﻧﻴﺴﺖ‪ ،‬ﻛﻪ ﻫﻤﻴﻦ ﭼﻨﺪ ﻭﻗﺖ ﭘﻴﺶ ﺳﻪ ﻓﻘﺮﻩﺵ‬
‫ﺗﻮ ﺟﺎﻫﺎﻱ ﺩﻳﮕﻪ ﺍﺗﻔﺎﻕ ﺍﻓﺘﺎﺩ ﻭ ﻫﻤﻪﺷﻢ ﺳﻔﻴﺪ ﭘﻮﺳﺘﺎ ﺗﻮ ﺍﻭﻥ ﻛﺎﺭﺍ ﺩﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺷﺘﻦ ﻭ ﻳﻜﻲﺷﻢ ﺗﻮ‬
‫ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﻧﺒﻮﺩ‪ .‬ﮔﻨﺪﻩﺗﺮﻳﻦ ﻭ ﺧﻮﺷﮕﻞﺗﺮﻳﻦ ﺟﻨﺎﻳﺘﺎ ﺗﻮ ﺑﻴﺮﻭﻥ ﺍﺯ ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﺍﺗﻔﺎﻕ ﻣﻲﺍﻓﺘﻪ‪ .‬ﻣﺎ ﻫﻴﭻ ﻭﻗﺖ‬
‫ﻧﻪ ﺩﺯﺩﻱ ﻧﻴﻢ ﻣﻴﻠﻴﻮﻥ ﺩﻻﺭﻱ ﺟﻮﺍﻫﺮﺍﺕ ﺩﺍﺭﻳﻢ ﻭ ﻧﻪ ﮔﻢ ﺷﺪﻥ ﻳﺎﻗﻮﺕ ﻛﺒﻮﺩ‪ .‬ﺑﻬﺘﺮﻩ ﺑﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺑﻴﺎﻱ‬
‫ﺗﻮ ﻫﺎﺭﻟﻢ ﻭ ﺑﺎ ﻣﺎ ﻗﺎﻃﻲ ﺷﻲ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺍﻳﻦ ﺳﻴﺎ ﭘﻮﺳﺘﺎ ﻫﺴﺘﻦ ﻛﻪ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﻥ ﺑﺮﺍﺑﺮﺷﻦ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺍﻳﻦ ﺳﻔﻴﺪ ﭘﻮﺳﺘﺎ ﻫﺴﺘﻦ ﻛﻪ ﺍﻳﻦ ﺭﻭ ﻧﻤﻲﺧﻮﺍﻥ‪.‬‬
‫–ﻣﺎﻡ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﻳﻢ‪ ،‬ﻣﻨﺘﻬﺎ ﺗﺎ ﻳﻪ ﻧﻘﻄﻪﺍﻱ‪.‬‬
‫–ﺍﻳﻦ ﻫﻤﻮﻥ ﭼﻴﺰﻳﻪ ﻛﻪ ﺳﻴﺎ ﭘﻮﺳﺘﺎ ﻣﻲﺧﻮﺍﻥ‪ ،‬ﺟﺎﺑﻪ ﺟﺎ ﻛﺮﺩﻥ ﺍﻳﻦ ﻧﻘﻄﻪ‪.‬‬
‫ﺭﻳﻴﺴﻢ ﺍﺧﻢ ﻛﺮﺩ ﻭ ﮔﻔﺖ‪:‬‬
‫–ﺳﺎﻋﺖ ﺍﺳﺘﺮﺍﺣﺖ ﺗﻤﻮﻣﻪ‪.‬‬