Name: Rachel Zhang Grade: 8.5/10 – Great job!!!

Criteria
Opening: the paper is introduced appropriately for the assignment so that the reader is clear about the
writer’s intention.

Appropriate context is provided.

The writer has encouraged a reader’s interest.

The thesis is clear and appropriate for the assignment.

Readability—organization, clarity, cohesion, and flow: the ideas are organized and structured in a
manner appropriate for the assignment

The student shows skill and knowledge of transitions and bridge building to help the reader follow
the flow of ideas.

Paragraphs are unified around one idea and one point.

Sentences are constructed and arranged effectively to show variety, clarity, and concision.

Word choice is precise, clear, effective, appropriate, and interesting.

Development: the ideas and points are clearly and appropriately developed with sufficient details
so as to show depth of thought and ability to link generalizations and main points with specific
support.

Development goes beyond restating others’ words and work and includes the writer’s own analysis
and explanation/reasoning.

Outside sources are accurately and honestly introduced, quoted, paraphrased, summarized,
integrated, and documented. (Overall, you did a good job. There are some minor mistakes in the
paper)

Closing: the piece of writing is concluded in a way that is appropriate for the purpose and audience
(closing statement)

The conclusion provides coherence with the intention noted in the introduction and the support
provided in the development of the piece of writing.

Writing conventions—compassion and consideration for the reader: shows care in revising,
editing, and proofreading so as to eliminate most problems with standard English usage, syntax,
punctuation, spelling, and grammar. Although the reader might encounter an occasional error, there
should be no pattern of errors; shows precise and consistent adherence to documentation conventions
when outside sources are used.

WP2 Final Draft

Rachel Zhang
WRT 9:00-10:50
Literacy Practices in Academic Community: ASAM 1
 Are you still facing the dilemma of choosing courses during three pass times? ASAM 1 is
an excellent curriculum for universities students. It is worth taking this general education course
since UCSB undergraduates can both fulfill the education requirement: American History and
institutions, Ethnicity, and Area D, and learn more about the history of Asian American. Deleted: acquire
According to professor Lisa Sun-Hee Park, “To do this, strong critical analytical skills are
required”(ASAM 1 Syllabus). The primary audience of this course at UCSB must be college
students who acquire a high level of education. To reach the goal of getting students to get Deleted: us
familiar with Asian American History and to acknowledge the diversity of different ethnic
groups in this academic community, professor assigns reading assignments of three required
texts and checks students’ capability of understanding the materials through three exams.
The course title of ASAM 1, which called “Introduction to Asian American History,
1850-present”, has already contributed a brief description of the subject covered. According to Commented [MOU1]: What do you mean? Can you
rephrase this part of the sentence?
the syllabus, the professor would like to show various experiences of some Asian populations in
America, to let students know more about their stories, how they survive in the war, and what
influence that those wars have brought to them, rather than going over some events in Asian
American History quickly and requiring us to remember the events years, as we were in the high
school. Further, it has limited the time into 1850 to present so that some of us may be familiar Commented [MOU2]: This sentence is a bit too long.
Can you break it up into two or even three shorter
with some stories, for instance, the Vietnam War, and would love to dig deeper into those events. sentences?
The professor adopted several literacy practices to reach her goal for the course. Reading
assignments have been presented in the course outline of the syllabus as students check their
assignments every week to keep up with the ideas that will appear in lectures and other
assignments. Since we have one summary assignment every week and three exams which each
takes place in every three weeks, it is crucial to go over reading materials for the exam
preparation”. These required texts serve as a bridge between students and the teaching goal of the Commented [MOU3]: Where is the beginning of this
quote?
curriculum by not only helping students to improve their grades but also by allowing them to
understand the content of the books and backgrounds of those historical events. Deleted: Why would the first book be a narrative?
The course requires audiences to read three books during the quarter. The first source Deleted: S
from the discipline is a narrative called “Contagious Divides: Epidemics and Race in San Deleted: and other audience may have
Francisco’s Chinatown by Nayan Shah”(Shah, Nayan. Contagious Divides). While some Deleted: wondered
students may wonder why the first assignment is a narrative, it is clear that this narrative may Deleted: . The truth is
help to generate students’ interests in controversial issues of race, immigration, and sex. Two Deleted: R
class classifications—cabin passengers(Whites) and steerage(Asians) passengers—were treated Deleted: I
differently by medical staff. Chinese were identified as a filthy and unscrupulous race with Deleted: S
unhygienic habits due to the narrow living arrangements of Chinese immigrants and other events Deleted: S

during the nineteenth century. Chinese women were seen as prostitutes as they were regarded as Deleted: s

a threat to both social order and public health. Though the summary of these information sounds Deleted: vivid
like the contents that may frustrate you, the author tends to reach a wider audience. By inserting Deleted: towards people as

pictures of Chinese Immigrants and maps of San Francisco Chinese Colony, Shah makes the Deleted: And

book more engaging for students. With regard to the professor’s goal, by assigning this book, she Deleted: the purpose of the professor

hopes that her students will the historical facts through stories and that they will be able to Deleted: is to ask her students to get to know all these
Deleted: . She hopes students
discuss the history of Asian Americans and see the gradual change of Chinese communities in
America.
The second reading is called “Body Counts: The Vietnam War and Militarized
Refuge(es) by Yen Le Espiritu”(Espiritu, Yen Le. Body Counts). The audience for this book
includes not only students but also scholars as it is a piece of academic writing. In contrast to the Deleted: n
previous book “Contagious Divides,” the author of Body Counts has a more formal tone to make Deleted: mparing
her arguments. Besides, she mentioned in the introduction that she has conducted several pieces Commented [MOU4]: Is it a book? If it’s a book, the title
should be italicized. If it’s an article, it should be in
of research, and uses abundant evidence to support her arguments within the book. Knowing it as quotation marks.
academic writing, professor Park assigns Body Counts to balance the narratives. Also, she Deleted: ,
connects Espiritu’s book with a film she played recording Vietnamese American who were
assimilated under American culture, went back home and realized how their ancestors suffered
from great loss. By allowing students to see how distinct scholarly writing, narratives, and films
approach authors’ ideas related to Asian American History, Professor Park effectively helps
students to generate different perspectives on the Vietnam War.
The third book also belongs to the genre of academic writing and it is called Impossible Deleted: is also an
Subjects: Illegal Aliens and the Making of Modern America (Ngai, Mae M. Impossible Subjects). Deleted: “
Impossible Subjects uses the histories of Mexican, Japanese, Chinese, and Filipino people as Forma&ed: Font: Italic
examples to tell readers about the origins of the term “Illegal Aliens” and how illegal Deleted: ”
immigration originated?. It is a wonderful resource for both college students and scholars. Like Deleted: “
other scholarly works, this book has an introduction that not only provides audiences with a Forma&ed: Font: Italic
background of the term “illegal aliens,” but also summarizes Ngai’s main argument. It Deleted: s
effectively avoids readers to be distracted from descriptions of different events. To prove its Forma&ed: Font: Italic
arguments, the book provides some line plots to show both the immigrant's population that were Deleted: ”
voluntarily left America and were expelled from the United States. Further, it has section Deleted: takes
headings in each chapter. Readers like students can grasp writers’ thoughts from that little title Deleted: generates
and understand the main ideas of the book easily. This book also has its main argument that the Deleted: high-educated
term “illegal aliens” exists for reasons. Though Ngai’s book does not have an independent Deleted: As the same as other scholarly sources
session called the "main idea”, we can still grasp her ideas behind those stories and facts, since it Deleted: s
is strongly related to the idea of the course. One of the classmates states that “In this book, Ngai Deleted: . The introduction
provides some very detailed historical contents related to three different groups of immigrants. I Deleted: idea of the books
never read most of those stories until taking this class.” Ngai has made clear and highly specific Commented [MOU5]: I’m not sure what you mean by
this. Can you rephrase this part?
introductions for students to interpret those events.
Commented [MOU6]: citation
Both the instructor and the author of Body Counts use a very specific vocabulary during
Forma&ed: Font: Italic
lecture and in books. Instead of literal meanings that strictly follow the exact words, these lexica
Deleted: discusses plenty of lexicon
have much deeper contexts that help to clarify the terms. For instance, “Good Refugee”(Espiritu,
Deleted: in the
Yen Le. Body Counts) is an important term in chapter 4 of Body Counts: The Vietnam War and
Commented [MOU7]: Do you mean that they use words
Miliratarized Refuge(es) by Espiritu, Yen Le. The term was formed during the Vietnam War and that have
referred to Vietnamese American who were assimilated by American’s culture and who believed
their dream could come true in the United States. They believed they were better off to the
United States compared with their lives in Vietnam. And their thoughts were captured by the U.S
government and helped to depict a great image of the United States. Therefore, they were called
“good refugee.” Such lexis may only be understood by scholars who already knew the
background of the events or high-educated students who have read Espiritu’s book. Commented [MOU8]: Good!
To make sure that students grasped the concepts from three required reading assignments,
students are asked to take Three exams which comprise heavy percentage of overall grades.
Unlike some exams from other courses, our professor hates to offer 30-40 multiple-choice
questions. Instead, Each of the exams consists of identification and short answer questions. For
instance, professor Park has asked a question related to Espiritu’s book. According to question 8
in exam 3, “Espiritu argues that we have ‘memory practices’ that retell the story of the past.
Provide an example of such a practice and how it works”. ()To answer this question, students Commented [MOU9]: Citation?
have to get familiar with the Vietnam War, and examples mentioned, for example, the history of
the name of city Saigon in Espiritu’s book. It is difficult for students to remember the
background of key facts, provide many details, and express their thoughts if they have not
listened to lectures or read the books. People who fail the first exam may be encouraged to focus
more on the course materials, on the one hand. On the other hand, those who get good grades
will build more confidence in learning the course and may generate deeper thoughts of the
history of Asian American. One of the classmates that I interviewed, James, believes that and
states, “The most impressive part is my first exam. I score a 90 percent on my first exam, and I
think it’s well deserved since I study a lot for it. I learned a lot from this course”(James).
Therefore, the exams arrangement may be perfect for students since it allows students to give
feedbacks of what they reviewed on the exams and develop their interests in Asian American
studies.
In conclusion, the literacy practices designed for this class are completely vital to
students who take ASAM 1. Instead of one, professor Park assigns different types of literacy
practices as readings to encourage students to gain new insights into events within those books.
She also helps students to combine those ideas by incorporating questions from reading
assignments into exams. Through the process, the professor can successfully reach her teaching
goals of making students get familiar with Asian American History, and may strongly help to
develop racial justice at UCSB.
 Work Cited

ASAM1 Syllabus.pdf - University of California Santa Barbara AS AM 1 Introduction to Asian

American History 1850 Present Winter 2018 TTh 12:30 pm,
www.coursehero.com/file/28336484/ASAM1-W18-Syllabuspdf/.

Espiritu, Yen Le. Body Counts: the Vietnam War and Militarized Refuge(Es). University of
California Press, 2014.

Ngai, Mae M. Impossible Subjects: Illegal Aliens and the Making of Modern America. Princeton
University Press, 2014.

Shah, Nayan. Contagious Divides Epidemics and Race in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Univ. of
California Press, 2011.