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Perla Soto

Professor Holly Batty

English 102

24 September 2018

Conquering my demons: Happy Place vs. Sea of Tears

Is there a perfect place that we can turn to when negative thoughts lurk around? There are

moments in our lives where we find ourselves consumed by questionable thoughts. Those

thoughts could be positive or negative. The positive thoughts make us smile and the not so

positive ones put our minds in dark places. Some people turn to sports, others turn to religion,

and many turn to music. The song I have chosen to analyze is “Ode to Sleep” by Twenty One

Pilots which is supposedly about a battle between light and darkness. It’s a song that has dark

verses and synth instrumentation that goes back and forth. Both the lyrics and instrumentals are

representations between the happy places and the depressing stages of the artist’s life (Tyler

Joseph). The singer tries to tell us that his mind has wandered into dark territory. In this journey

there are constant troubles with begging to someone/something that may or may not be there. I

believe that he is in a fight between himself and a higher being because he speaks of voices he

must tune out and the one he calls out to gives no answers. Tyler begins the song by sharing his

current place and where his mental and emotional state is headed.

The first verse of the song puts us on a voyage that is emerged in a sea of emotions. It

commences with a slightly high-pitched synth that is gradually building up; providing us with

tension and suspense. The synth is layered with a wobble bass, some high-hat cymbals, and

piano keys which as a whole add to the eerie anticipation. Thirty-eight seconds into the intro we

are greeted by Tyler’s rapping. The initial lyrics we are presented with, “I wake up fine and
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dandy, / but then by the time I find it handy to rip my heart apart / and start planning my crash

landing ” (1-2) show us that Tyler starts his day feeling optimistic. However, his heart suddenly

feels conflicted and the positivity is gone. He is at a high point where everything seems fine then

suddenly something within him changes and it all crashes down. In this stage he finds himself

pleading to someone. There is a question, perhaps to the Almighty, about whether a depressed

life is a free life. Accompanied with the negative thoughts is also guilt because he is doubtful in

receiving any answers. One way of controlling or suppressing the many thoughts clouding his

mind is by writing it all out as he says, “some see a pen, I see a harpoon” (12).

We have slowly sailed to the pre-chorus part of this emotional ocean. The pre-chorus and

the chorus are the upbeat parts of the song that include a joyful-like tempo and singing. In

addition, the relaxed tone of his voice and the tempo in this part of the song are the polar

opposite of the first verse. Also, this is a good representation of how the overall song replicates

light and darkness. Here we are shown the starting point of the depressing moments. At night is

when Tyler’s most dark thoughts come to play. Those thoughts keep him awake. He claims to

hear voices yelling at him; yelling things like “you are gone.” Those voices he hears could be his

inner self telling him that he is not himself or he could be reaching a state of depression where he

has completely lost all motivation in his life. During the mornings, he is positive that he is able to

keep the negative thoughts away. Even with the loss of inspiration he tries to push past all of the

thoughts and feelings by finding a place of warmth and comfort. For instance, when he says,

“I’ll set my soul on fire”(13) maybe he is trying to feel something more than just an empty void.

While being stuck in depression people tend to lose enticement for all things in their lives

and somehow they act as if everything is fine. To the world they are perceived as smiling, joyful

beings and appear to have it all together. As we come to the second verse of the song we once
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again are enlightened with the dark tone of the synth, bass, and drums. In this chunk of the song

Tyler is back to rapping. The fast rapping makes it feel as if he is desperately trying to get

something off his chest. The second verse uses imagery to convey several scenarios. For

example, the first lines Tyler sings, “On the eve of the day that’s forgotten and fake”(1). I feel

that here he could be talking about the sadness happening so often that it’s normal for him so he

forgets what it’s like to not feel this way. Another example of imagery is displayed through the

use of trees, clouds, and masks which is when he sings, “As the trees, they await, and the clouds

anticipate / The start of the day when we put on our face / A mask that portrays that we don’t

need grace”(15-16). Furthermore, the trees and clouds could mean the people in his life who are

not aware of his sincere condition. Tyler puts on a mask and hides himself from the people

around him and claims that every single thing is “dandy”.

As we arrive at the last few lines of the second verse Tyler is once more pleading to

someone that will hear him. I take it that he is now in an place of wanting to be liberated from his

melancholic state. Throughout the song we see the changes Tyler undergoes between being

happy and being sad. As a result, he is asking to be forgiven for whatever it is he has done to

deserve this imprisonment of never ending sadness. Also, to me it seems that he is singing about

talking to a higher being because he doesn’t directly say who he’s referring to. What drives me to

that idea is his use of “forgiveness” and when he states, “I’m afraid to tell you who I adore /

Won’t tell you who I’m singing towards / Metaphorically, I am a whore, / and that’s denial

number four” (20-21). I suppose that he does not directly say who this being is because he wants

to keep their, perhaps, intimate connection away from the rest of the world. Lastly, when he calls

himself a whore, I think that ties in with the feeling of guilt. He feels guilty seeing as he is

calling out to someone and when he receives a response he keeps it to himself. If you slightly
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look at the situation from a religious point of view one could say that he is making music for the

money rather than to glorify the Almighty; this could be another contributing factor to the

depression.

At last, we are able to reach ashore after a long crusade of attempting to decipher lyrics in

a sea of tears. When listened to for the first time this song just sounds weird and cheerful.

However, when listening to it a second time, a third time, and a fourth time that point of view

changes; especially when the lyrics are taken into consideration. The sadness felt by the artist is

represented through fast rapping, dark tones and synths while his content moments are

showcased with less tense vocals that are backed by an upbeat tempo. The genuity of dark

feelings is concealed by metaphoric lyrics and rhythm changes. Altogether, this song does a fine

job at expressing what it is like to be depressed, what it is like to feel alright, and what it is like

to appear to be fine. While on this journey we learned that the artist has indeed endured a decent

amount of depression and his way of dealing with it was by speaking with a higher being. No

one should have to assume that their true feelings have to be stowed away and never heard. We

all go through unpleasant moments in life so why not be there for one another?

Work Cited

Twenty One Pilots. “Ode To Sleep.” Vessel, Fueled By Ramen, 2012. Spotify,

https://open.spotify.com/album/2r2r78NE05YjyHyVbVgqFn.
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Appendix A

1 I wake up fine and dandy,

2 But then by the time I find it handy
To rip my heart apart and start planning my crash landing
3 Like an old man's hair receding
4 I'm pleading, "Please, oh please!" on my knees repeatedly asking
Why it's got to be like this, Is this living free?
5 I don't wanna be the one
Be the one who has the sun's blood on my hands, I'll tell the moon
6 Take this weapon, forged in darkness
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Some see a pen, I see a harpoon

[Pre-Chorus]
7 I'll stay awake cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight
8 Why am I not scared in the morning?
I don't hear those voices calling
9 I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out
10 I swear I heard demons yelling
Those crazy words they were spelling
11 They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone
[Chorus]
12 But I tell 'em, why won't you let me go
Do I threaten all your plans? I'm insignificant
13 Please tell 'em, you have no plans for me
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?
I'll tell 'em
[Verse 2]
14 On the eve of a day that's forgotten and fake
15 As the trees, they await, and clouds anticipate
16 The start of a day when we put on our face
A mask that portrays that we don't need grace
17 On the eve of a day that is bigger than us
But we open our eyes, cause we're told that we must
18 And the trees wave their arms and the clouds try to plead
Desperately yelling, "There's something we need!"
19 I'm not free, I asked forgiveness three times
Same amount that I denied, I three-time MVP'd this crime
20 I'm afraid to tell you who I adore
Won't tell you who I'm singing towards
21 Metaphorically, I'm a whore, and that's denial number four
[Pre-Chorus]
22 I'll stay awake cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight
23 Why am I not scared in the morning?
I don't hear those voices calling
24 I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out
25 I swear I heard demons yelling
Those crazy words they were spelling
26 They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone
[Chorus]
27 But I tell 'em, why won't you let me go
Do I threaten all your plans? I'm insignificant
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28 Please tell 'em, you have no plans for me

I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?
[Outro]
29 I'll tell 'em, you have no plans for me, I will set my soul on fire
What have I become? I'll tell 'em, I'll tell 'em, I'll tell 'em
I'll tell 'em, please tell 'em, you have no plans for me
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become? I'm sorry