Make requests that forge connections

This worksheet can help you with a subject that is sometimes vexing: How to make the most effective possible
requests of your work colleagues. They might be requests for information, help, delivery of assignments or
new ways of working. They also might be requests touching on more personal areas, such as respect or level
of formality. Knowing how to make an effective request—one that produces a coming together of needs—is
about much more than putting something delicately. The following steps can help you make the best requests.

Step 1: What are your feelings? Take a moment to self-connect and identify your physical feelings. These might
be pleasant or unpleasant.

Step 2: What deeper needs are triggering your current feelings? If you are having unpleasant feelings, this is
likely due to unmet needs.

Step 3: What can you request that would help you meet that need? Or, if your need is already being met, what
can you request to ensure that this continues?

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Step 4: Refine your request to ensure that it meets the following criteria:
It is based on your needs (identified in step 2) and not your feelings (identified in step 1)
It is backed by a genuine intention to connect
It is not a demand (i.e., refusal is possible)
It is clear and actionable (i.e., the requestee will understand exactly what can be done to help)

The contents of this page are the property of CrossKnowledge.

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Any reproduction or representation for non-private use is strictly forbidden. 2