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Embracing+Possibility Compressed
Embracing+Possibility Compressed
POSSIBILITY
A PRACTICAL GUIDE
TO BRIDGING THE GAP
BETWEEN WHO YOU
ARE AND WHO YOU
WANT TO BE
By Chandler Stevens
Here we are.
I’m here to help you make a shift in your life over the course of these
few pages. No small task.
But I’m up for the challenge if you are. My coaching clients have
shown me time and time again that a small shift in perspective can
change everything.
Bringing awareness to the edges of the box we’ve built for ourselves
lets us draw new boundaries and live more of the life we want.
The journey to becoming the you that you want to be can be daunting.
There are seemingly infinite ways to make progress, and what tends
to happen when faced with infinity is that we simply freeze. We
become paralyzed by information, and we spin our wheels.
In this guide I’ll walk you through a series of exercises that will help
you redefine the boundaries you live by. We’ll create a new map to
help you get to where you want to be.
First, figure out where you are now. Then determine where you want
to go. After that, identify how you can begin to close the gap. Let's
dive in.
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WHERE YOU
ARE NOW
Here’s a question to get the wheels turning…
How do we perceive what’s real? What are the boundaries we live by,
and what compels us to follow them?
Very often I find that when someone develops more options for better
movement, they unlock more options for better living. When physical
limitations are addressed, people have an expanded sense of
themselves and of the life they live.
Why is that?
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"WE ACT IN
ACCORDANCE
WITH OUR SELF-
IMAGE."
-Moshe Feldenkrais
And it couldn't be more true. Our perception of the world and our
perception of ourselves direct the actions that we take each and every
day. Lucky for us: perceptions are flexible. They can change at any
time. It just takes a little bit of awareness.
You’ve likely seen several of these over the course of your life. Once
you see one option you can’t “un-see” it. But until it’s brought to your
awareness it might be difficult to perceive.
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Sensation + Perception
There’s a key distinction between sensation and perception. We often
conflate the two, and it becomes really apparent when we explore it
on a physical level. Think of sensation as what we notice:
• This is uncomfortable
• I can never relax
• Somebody should shut that window
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This is the primary value of awareness practices.
Physical Awareness
The first is a body scan. You’ll find a follow-along audio file with this
guide that will talk you through the process.
I find the most effective place to start is with our weight sense. Where
do you feel weight underneath you? Where do you make contact with
the ground? Are you evenly balanced from one side to the other?
Are there parts of your body that feel uncomfortable? Or any areas
where you notice you are holding in tension?
Please note: there is nothing you are “supposed to” sense or feel. What
you notice, you notice. What you don’t, you don’t.
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After you’ve spent a few moments focusing on body awareness, let
your focus expand out to your surroundings.
What do you hear? How many different sounds can you pick up on?
Our brains literally use this sensory information to make sense of the
world around us. Tuning in with awareness helps bring us closer to
what’s really going on.
Contextual Awareness
Are the things you say you value reflected in the way you live your
life?
Zoom out and take stock of what is obviously going on around you.
The obvious often flies under the level of our conscious processing,
and we take it for granted.
You might also ask a friend or partner what's obvious about you. We
learn so much about ourselves through relation, and an outside set of
eyes can shed light on new ways to perceive the territory.
After you’ve brought awareness to where you are now, it’s time to
shift focus to where you want to be...
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WHERE YOU
WANT TO BE
Side Note: Permission For Possibility
Movement researcher Jozef Frucek of Fighting Monkey RootlessRoot
said something that has been ringing through my whole being ever
since I first heard it:
The rules we live by and the boundaries we accept are often artifacts
of older contexts:
At any point we have the option to cast those limits aside or improvise
within them. Any constraint is an invitation to creative action if you
choose to see it that way.
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"ALLOW
YOURSELF TO
THINK THAT YOU
CAN RECREATE
WHATEVER IS
GIVEN."
-Jozef Frucek
Start With An End In Mind
Notice I say "an," not "the."
Put some thought into it, but please don't overthink it.
For the following exercises it'll be helpful to grab a sheet of paper and
something to write with (or print this out and scribble on it).
1) Why are you reading this right now? What change are you hoping to
make in your life?
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2) And why is that so important to you?
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HOW TO BRIDGE
THE GAP
You can choose to grow into that best version of yourself. You can
take the steps to feel like you’re living up to your potential.
Each of us knows there are things we could be doing to close the gap
between where we are and where we want to be. And there are things
we could stop doing that hinder our progress.
The basic fact is that the "I that I am" and the "I that I am becoming"
simply can't coexist.
But this is the element of growth and change that gets swept under
the rug. It's the part we don't like to talk about.
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Ego Death
The thing we rarely acknowledge on the path to growth and personal
development is the very real phenomenon of ego death.
When you burst through a plateau in life, the "you as you know it"
ceases to exist.
What's left?
You're going to kill yourself if you don't let yourself grow. It'll slowly
gnaw at you, making you question your day-to-day habits and
routines. You'll stay up at night wondering how things could be. When
will you get out of your own way?
For the caveman it's safe in the light of the fire. Venturing beyond it's
glow puts you at risk. But we achieve nothing without risk. While we
crave safety and security, that alone isn't enough...
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You likely feel that yourself.
And if we’re being really honest: you know what you need to do to get
there. And you know what you need to stop doing.
If you do a bit more of the former and a bit less of the latter, you
transform your life. A couple of exercises can guide the way.
But before you go into those exercises there's something else you
need to understand.
The words you choose have a massive influence on the life you live.
You don’t have to act on any of them, but the truth is there’s far more
possible in your life than you realize.
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"THE LIMITS OF
MY LANGUAGE
MEAN THE
LIMITS OF MY
WORLD."
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
Take The Brakes Off
Let's start by taking the brakes off. We'll bring awareness to the things
you’re doing that are holding you back, keeping you spinning your
wheels. Awareness gives you the opportunity to change, but without it
you're stuck.
Ask yourself this: How do I keep myself from getting what I want?
Spend 5-10 minutes writing out any and everything that comes to
mind here.
Staying in a dead end job. Picking your nails. Not sticking to your
movement practice. Keeping your knowledge bottled up. Not sharing
your gift with the world. Staying quiet. Not making your bed. Leaving
the dishes sitting out. Not charging what you’re worth.
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Build Momentum
Here's the thing. You know what it takes. You have gut inklings of the
things you need to be doing. It's those lingering thoughts that creep in
day after day. It's those visions that keep you up at night.
It’s pure magic for embracing more possibility and more agency in life.
When you think through responses to “How might…,” you’ll find a slew
of options for new actions you might take.
So the next step is to think back to that vision you have of:
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Because you’ll inevitably look at some of the ideas you come up with
and say “I can’t do that.”
It’s interesting to highlight those things we say we can’t do. Often they
reveal untapped opportunities.
Look back over that list and come up with a list of things that seem
impossible, unrealistic, or just not feasible.
I Can’t...
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This brings us to our next reframe. Saying “I can’t…” pretty much
ends the conversation, right? It puts us into the binary space of
can/can’t. Possible/impossible.
It puts our challenge in a timescale. It brings that obstacle into the
realm of possibility.
Rewrite a few of those thoughts from above within this new frame.
I Can’t Yet...
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For most people that makes the seemingly impossible at least a bit
less daunting. It’s a step in the right direction, but it still doesn’t give
us much we can actually do, does it?.
Pick 3 of those “I can’t yet” ideas you’d like to explore and reframe
them as “I could if” here.
Get creative here, and try not to censor yourself for silly, impractical,
or difficult choices.
I could________________________________________
if____________________________________________
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I could________________________________________
if____________________________________________
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I could________________________________________
if____________________________________________
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WHERE TO GO
FROM HERE
In theory you now have a framework for how you might proceed
toward becoming the person you want to be.
1) Stop doing one of the things that you do to hold yourself back.
2) Start doing one of the things that moves you closer to your goal.
3) Rinse, and repeat.
In fact it's better to start small. Look around and ask: what can I do
right now to make things a tiny bit better?
With awareness and intention you can carve out a new life and a new
way of being.
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"PEOPLE DO NOT
DECIDE THEIR
FUTURES. THEY
DECIDE THEIR
HABITS, AND
THEIR HABITS
DECIDE THEIR
FUTURES."
-F. M. Alexander
About The Author
Chandler Stevens is a somatic coach,
creative facilitator, and movement
specialist.
www.ChandlerStevens.com
www.Facebook.com/CoachChandlerStevens
IG: @chandlerthemover
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