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Enhanced Erpat Manual PDF
Enhanced Erpat Manual PDF
MANUAL
Message …………………………………………….i
Foreword …………………………………………...iii
Introduction
Chapter 1 : An Overview of ERPAT ………………....
Chapter 2 : The Field Office Technical Staff ……….
Chapter 3 : The LGU Implementers ………………...
Chapter 4 : The Father Leaders ……………………..
Chapter 5 : Conducting the ERPAT Modules ………
Module I: Understanding Myself` as a Person …….
Module II: Accepting Your Role as a Father ……….
Module III: Becoming Your Wife’s Bestfriend ……..
Module IV: Fathers as Child Caregivers …………….
Module V: Promoting Family Spirituality ………….
Module VI: Fathers as Advocate in the Promotion
of Peace in the Family ...………………..
Module VII: Fathers as Advocate in Promoting a
Drug-Free Home ………………………..
Module VIII: Fathers as Advocate in the Prevention
of HIV-AIDS …………………………...
Module IX: Fathers as Advocate in Promoting
Positive Discipline……………………..
Appendices .................................................................
References .................................................................
Message
Likewise, the ERPAT Manual was enhanced to clarify the roles and
responsibilities of technical staff in the field offices, local government unit (LGU)
implementers and father leaders in the optimism that this will be effectively
implemented at the local level. Further, the inclusion of positive discipline as
additional module is another valuable input in the enhanced manual to encourage
parents to practice non-violent ways of disciplining children.
To this end, I would like to extend the Department’s warm appreciation for the
continued efforts of the LGU implementers and their local counterparts who
continue to be committed to the pursuit of building quality family lives through the
implementation of the ERPAT Manual in their respective localities. Their sharing of
experiences in the implementation of the previous manual has contributed in the
enhancement and development of this new one.
I would also like to acknowledge our technical staff for sharing their expertise for
the completion of this manual - your passion and hope of having more effective
and responsible fathers will no doubt, contribute to building stable and nurturing
Filipino families.
FOREWORD
While this may hold true to some, this does not mean that all fathers are
incapable of showing their love, concern and affection for their children.
Fathers can and do actively share parenting responsibility with their
spouses through different ways – by playing with their children, listening
to their problems, helping them with their assignments and the like –
proving that they are capable of providing more than just financial support
to their families. It is then highly encouraged that the childrearing skills of
both parents should complement and be at par with each other to ensure
their children’s optimal growth and development.
Thank you!
Whoever you may be, we’re very sure that your interest to use
this manual is enough reason to thank you for answering the call to reach
out to fathers who, in their otherwise quiet and passive stance in the
family, have long been wanting to be actively involved in their family’s
everyday lives more than ‘just providing’.
About ERPAT (The Manual)
This manual aims to help the reader / user to initiate and sustain
ERPAT at all levels. Specifically, this manual aims to provide you:
Using this manual should be easy for you. All it takes is for you to:
At this point we’re very sure that you’re about to begin your
journey. So again welcome to exciting world of fathering, and we hope
that you enjoy using this manual.
Chapter One: An Overview of ERPAT
1995
1999
2008
2009
The Social Technology Bureau conducted a quick survey to
assess the ERPAT experience; yielding the following findings:
Simply put, a father’s role transcends from a mere “provider”, to one who
shares parenting that includes providing care, attention and affection to
each member of his family. ERPAT focuses on how this person carries
himself as a father performing multiple roles as his child’s teacher and
caregiver, his wife’s husband and a friend to everyone in his household.
Now let’s take a look at the Legal Bases with which ERPAT is
founded. You might need to get a copy of these documents and review
them yourself.
International Instrument
National Laws
6. Family Courts Act of 1997- The State shall protect the rights and
promote the welfare of children in keeping with the mandate of the
Constitution and the precepts of the United Nations Convention
on the rights of the Child. The State shall provide a system of
adjudication for youthful offenders which take into account their
peculiar circumstances.
Things you need to know about ERPAT:
What is ERPAT?
General:
Specific:
1. Generally fathers
2. Biological Fathers (including but not limited to)
Solo father
Returning migrant/OFWs
Released prisoners
Persons with disabilities
3. Adoptive Father
4. Newly wed husbands
5. Organized father groups i.e., faith based organizations
6. Surrogate Fathers (including but not limited to)
Foster father
Guardian
Caregiver
ERPATS VISION:
ERPAT MISSION:
ERPAT was introduced by the DSWD through its Field Offices. The Field
Office technical staff performs a number of tasks that will ensure ERPAT’s
success. As in many other national programmes, projects, services, or
activities, the FO generally:
Let us now take a closer look at the things the FO staff must do:
1.1 The over-all situation of families, you may acquire these from the
local planning offices;
1.2 The magnitude of / incidences of domestic violence in the
community, you may acquire these from the local social welfare
and development office and the local police entity;
1.3 The magnitude of / incidence of other macro issues, i.e., drug use
and abuse, HIV and AIDS, teenage pregnancy. ECCD – PES
attendance by fathers, etc.
TIPS:
engage academe and / or local research institutes
utilize area based research from and by local NGOs
mobilize partner POs
2. Develop or craft simple communication materials which you will use to
present the data that you have gathered per province or per
city/municipality; among these materials include:
TIPS:
Keep your presentations accurate, brief and concise
Always support your data with statistics that are easily
understood
Peaceful community
Gained respect from the community
11. Generate periodic (quarterly) reports for the DSWD central office.
TIPS:
Organize ahead of time
Ensure that all logistics (financial, human, material resources)
you need are available
Here are some more ideas for the Field Office Technical Staff:
8. Involve the NGOs – they may have other resources which you
can use for ERPAT;
9. Keep disciplined schedules – do remember that LGUs have
other activities aside from ERPAT, keeping a disciplined schedule
for activities like training, meetings, monitoring visits as agreed
will make it easier for them.
10. Always bear in mind you and your partners’ definitive roles
and functions but be flexible as well:
ERPAT has four (4) main groups of stakeholders, namely the ERPAT
father volunteers/leaders; the local government units; NGOs, civic and
private groups; and the DSWD Central Office together with the DSWD
Field Offices. Each group has specific functions, thus;
C. Other Stakeholders
(NGOs/Church/Academe/Civic Groups/Associations)
1. Acts as resource person;
2. Provides referral services;
3. Provides fund augmentation and access to resources;
4. Conducts trainings on ERPAT session and skills enhancement
activities;
5. Assists MSWDO/CSWDO in identification/recruitment of ERPAT
participants;
6. Participates in service review and enrichment/development.
Here’s a checklist that you and the core group can use as task
guide:
Organize and invite your pool of speakers from the trained father
leaders with the MSWDO or LGU worker
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
F. Conduct the ERPAT Sessions
At this stage, you and the other father-trainers can devise your
own teaching methodologies and materials. However do maintain
the core messages for each of the session. The modules and
session guides are found in Chapter Five.
When the members and officers finalize the VMG, the plan of
action of the association may be finalized and specific committees
can be organized to handle activities or projects. Each committee
may set their own activities to accomplish their tasks.
Other activities that can help you sustain the organization are
activities that respond to the needs and problems of each
member, individual or in groups. These include but not limited to
the (1) regular home visits, (2) provision of livelihood projects; (3)
conduct of cultural and sports activities; and (4) provision of
awards and other forms of recognition/incentives to the efforts of
father leaders and volunteers.
Chapter Four:
THE FATHER LEADERS
(Initiating, Managing and Sustaining ERPAT)
You must have noticed by now that ERPAT places the highest
premium on the father-volunteers and leaders as they play key roles in
the community. More than anything else, they serve as role models to
their families and communities. They also serve as facilitators in
promoting the rearing and caring roles of fathers in the family. Of course,
all of ERPAT’s service components prepare these father-volunteers to
focus on these roles.
1. Knowledge:
- Know basic methods of organizing
- Know the contents of the ERPAT project
- Has good knowledge on leadership and volunteerism
- Has basic knowledge on Peer Counseling
2. Attitudes/Values:
- Sensitivity to familial roles, responsibilities, needs and
social realities among fathers.
- Recognizes strengths and improve weaknesses
3. Skills:
- Effective communication
- Facilitating groups and using facilitating methods
- Active listening and relationship-building
- Energizing/inspiring/motivating
- Basic skills in counseling
- Skills in organizing
- Skills in establishing rapport
As ERPAT leaders and volunteers, fathers during the preliminary, proper
and post implementation phases perform multiple roles. Each of these
roles requires a particular set of competency and entails corresponding
responsibilities. This chapter spells out all these roles and provides you
descriptive parameters.
A. Preliminary Phase
Father-volunteer as Coordinator
Coordinates with M/CSWDO in the conduct of community-based
sessions.
Assists in the conduct of identifying fathers as participants
Arranges for a venue and use of equipment
Prepares learning materials
Provides resource persons, if necessary
Acts as guides during the learning experiences of fathers
Father-volunteer as Organizer
Coordinates and links with M/CSWDO, Barangay leaders/officials and
ensure active participation of fathers in the community;
Organizes core group of fathers as initial volunteers
Identifies and mobilizes resources
B. Implementation Phase
C. Post-Implementation
Father-volunteer as Monitor/Evaluator
Father-volunteer as Coordinator
Father-volunteer as Advocate
For beginning facilitators or trainers, you may follow each activity plan.
While these sessions and / or activity plans have been tested, you are
free to make the necessary changes as you see fit or be creative while
conducting your training.
1. Title – gives you a clue on what the module or session is all about
2. Intro spiel – this is a short spiel written in italics just like this one, which
you can use / say to introduce the session to your participants.
3. Estimated Time – tells you how long a particular session lasts. The
whole ERPAT training if you count the number of hours, roughly takes
around twenty-seven (27) hours. However, field experiences tell us
that the length of session varies based on the trainees
“realities”. Given this, it is really up to you to manage training time
efficiently as you plan the day or weeks it would take you and your
trainees to complete the modules.
4. Objectives – indicates the behavioral objective(s) that your trainees
should be able to demonstrate or do in the course of session;
5. Materials – you can find these contained in boxes in every session. It is
a list of things you need in your activities. There are also notes
written in bold letters instructing you to either photocopy or copy as
teaching and learning aids.
6. Methodology – tells you about the teaching-learning method espoused
in the activities.
7. Key Learning Points – even before you conduct the session, DO read
these carefully and thoroughly, because these are the learning
foundations of the activities. As such they serve either as your guide
or even as your main inputs that raise activities into learning
experiences.
8. Activity / Activities – provide(s) step-by-step instructions on how to run
the learning activity
9. Processing – provides instructions (most often in the form of guide
questions or actions) that you can ask or do to engage your
participants to deepen their learning experiences.
10. Application – allow the participants to relate the topics and learning
to their daily activities
Objectives:
The participants shall be able to:
1. Analyze current situations of Filipino
fathers.
2. Review current beliefs, practices and
concepts about fathering.
3. Discuss gender issues prevailing and affecting members of the
family.
Materials:
Metacards, Pen markers, Masking tape,
Transparency picture of a Father and a Mother
Your Key Learning Points
There are basic attributes between a man and a woman. There are also
prevailing expectations as to how men and women should think and
behave. These expectations form the gender roles.
Sex refers to biologically determined differences between men and
women.
Gender roles are the set of social norms that dictate what is socially
defined as appropriate female and male behavior.
Gender roles are learned behaviors in a given society/community or
other social group that condition which activities, tasks and
responsibilities are perceived as male and female.
Gender roles are affected by age, class, race, ethnicity, religion or other
ideologies, geographical, economic and political environment
Men and women differ from each other physically, emotionally and
socially. Physical differences are referred to as “Sex” while social
differences are referred to as “Gender”
Gender likewise are the values and norms that support and perpetrate
the belief in men’s dominant status and natural aggressiveness and in
women’s subordinate status and role in the family and in the society as
a whole.
Fathers are perceived as symbols of strength and power in the family.
Fathers are the family’s main source of authority. The breadwinner, the
decision-maker and the foundation of the family. They are the
disciplinarians and the ones who commit more forms of abuse as
inherent to their characteristics as they exercise their power and
authority over their family members.
Mothers meanwhile are perceived more as weak but loving persons.
They are more emotional and do support the decisions of the father as
the head of the family. Their roles are confined in the household
responsibilities including rearing and caring for children and other family
members. Because of their inherent characteristics, they are more
prone to be abused in the family including the very young children.
To create a wholesome and positive family life, the parents, the father
and the mother have collaborative roles to perform. In performing
responsibilities at home or in the family, one should assess one’s
capacities and abilities rather than on one’s biological characteristics to
achieve a shared familial roles and responsibilities, shared decision-
making and a shared vision and hope for the family.
Activity:
Alternative Activity:
FATHER MOTHER
Male Female
Strong Weak
Big body Loving
Handsome Beautiful
Mason Laundrywoman
Carpenter Manicurist
Authoritative Beautician
Domineering Sexy
Muscles Long hair
Hard Clear skin
Vices Vices
Head of the family Ilaw ng Tahanan
Processing:
Application:
FAMILY
F – is for my father and M is for my mother I love you. (2x)
I love you in the morning and in the afternoon
I love you in the evening, underneath the moon … Oh!
F is for my Father and M is for my mother
Family……
MODULE I
UNDERSTANDING MYSELF AS A PERSON
SESSION 1:
Understanding Myself
Objectives:
At the end of the session, participants shall be able Materials:
to:
Old
1. Attain awareness and discover oneself as a
newspapers/
person
colorful
2. Find meaning of one’s existence in relation to
magazines,
his environment
paste,
newsprint,
Methodology:
scissors
Collage-making
Alternative
Individual Reflection
Materials:
Lecture-Discussion
Clay
Processing:
1. After each group had reported, process the whole activity by first
summarizing their outputs.
2. Highlight significant points that they raised and connect them to
your learning points.
3. Synthesize all inputs and stress the value of openness to life
experiences, importance of reflections for growth and directions,
and appreciation of oneself and other persons.
Applications:
Play the song “Sino Ako” and let the participants reflect on the meaning of
the Song.
1. While playing the song, help the participants reflect by leading them
to a closing prayer.
SINO AKO
Hiram sa Diyos and aking Buhay
Ikaw at ako’y tanging Handog lamang
Di ko ninais na ako’y isilang
Ngunit salamat dahil may buhay
Processing:
1. Relate the importance of knowing one’s self as a requirement in
improving and building one’s self-esteem as a prerequisite to
effective fathering/parenting.
2. Elicit learning from the activity and provide inputs based on your key
learning points.
Application:
1. Give each trainee two sheets of paper
2. Ask the trainees to draw a heart and write all their positive traits and
pin this on their chest to be shown to other participants.
3. On the other sheet of paper, ask the trainees to write all their
negative traits and collect these negative traits and burn to
symbolize its insignificance (please do ensure safety) while the
group forms a circle singing the song, “A Time to Change” or any
song related to it.
MODULE II
ACCEPTING YOUR ROLE AS A FATHER
SESSION 1:
Importance of a Father Image
Objectives:
Methodology:
Brainstorming
Buzz Session/Group Discussion
Lecture
A. Definition of Fatherhood
Fatherhood means becoming an active partner in performing a major
educational role in child growth and development. It means getting to
know them and sharing who you are as a person. It means spending time
and making the most of the time you spend with them. It means taking an
active interest and involvement in all the aspects of your child’s growth –
social, emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual and language
development.
B. Importance of Father Image in the Child
Activity:
1. Ask the participants to group themselves into 6 or 8 and
brainstorm on the following:
a. What does it mean to be a father?
b. How important is my being a father to my child?
c. What are the hindrances that keep me away and unable
to relate with my child?
2. Hand out metacards, marking pens and masking tape where they
can write their responses.
3. To deepen the sharing of participants, ask them to relax and sit
comfortably.
4. Ask them to meditate on the present relationship with their family
guided by the following statements:
1
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm
7. Allow an open forum to clarify and deepen the discussion and
help participants internalize the topic.
Processing:
1. Allow sufficient time for exchange of ideas and feelings during the
plenary session.
2. Accommodate clarification and sharing of experiences in the
plenary to deepen the discussion.
3. Be sure though that the focus of discussion will be on the
importance of being a father to their children.
4. Using your key learning points, stress that there is no recipe and
there is no one right way to be a father. What is important is to
work out what is going to work for you. How do you work it out will
depend on the following:
a. What do you expect to do as a father?
b. What does your wife expect from you as a father to your
children?
c. The way you and your partner balance work and family
responsibilities.
d. The good things that you want to pass on from what your own
father did.
e. Quality time spent with your children.
f. The things that you see other fathers do.
g. What your children’s wants and needs are.
Application:
1. Ask the participant to individually work on the question: What shall I
do to fulfill my role as a father to my children and as a husband to my
wife?
2. In a circle, each trainee take turns in sharing their individual answers
to the group
3. End the activity with a prayer for fathers.
SESSION 2:
Development of Paternal Identity
Objective:
The participants shall be able to acquire knowledge and express
understanding of the process of developing paternal identity.
Methodology:
Materials:
Group Sharing Acetate, Cartolina,
Lecture/Discussion Pen Markers
Acetate Pens
Key Learning Points:
Fatherhood is a lifelong process.
While either parent can do parenting, children still have different
experiences with their fathers from that of their mothers.
The kind of experience that children have with their fathers will greatly
depend on the kind of relationship that they have with one another.
This emotional attachment is established as the father becomes
involved during the exploration and integration stage of the
children throughout their development cycle.
Stages in the development of attachment involves attachment which
starts as early as during pregnancy and when the father becomes
emotionally engrossed with his new born baby.
Psychological – emotional bonding is deepened with the child’s
growth and development.
Fatherhood means spending more of his free time with the child.
There is a shift of values and priorities. Fathers now stay more at
home and spend time alone with the child to meet the demands of
childcare instead of staying outside with friends. He shares his
strengths and vulnerabilities as well as his hopes and aspirations to
his children.
Fathers also need to ensure that they still have a space, peace and
quiet hour for himself to nurture his own sense of individuality.
At 3-4 years old, the child starts to look for masculine identity
At the age of five the child begins to segregate father and mother by sex
As the child becomes older (middle childhood years), he is focused at following
rules rather than strengthen his relationship
At adolescent, he is more at game of power, strengths and achievements. He
tends to repress his wishes to be held and to be taken cared of and cuddled, but
there are still inner longings/desires to have his father around ready to support and
provide care and nurturance.
If the male child is hardly able to receive warmth and soft nurturance from his own
father the child develops a sense of loss that extends into adulthood.
So that when he reaches his adult stage, the male child tries to resolve guilt,
shame and anger in silence and unable to perform his role as a husband or a
father
Activity:
1. In a plenary ask the participants to describe their relationship with
their own fathers.
3. Form the participants into triads and ask them to discuss their
individual experiences focusing on the kind of relationship they
had with their own fathers and how this relationship developed.
Use the following guide questions:
Application:
SESSION 3:
Knowing and Understanding Your Role as a Father.
Hence, fathers need to learn new skills and knowledge, perhaps a revived
attitude in relating and responding to their paternal tasks and
responsibilities.
Estimate Time: 45 minutes
Materials:
Objective:
Participants shall be able to identify specific Prepared
responsibilities of fathers. question, 1
cartolina or
Methodology: acetate, copy
Individual Reflection of PD 603
Group Sharing
Lecture-Discussion
Liabilities of Parents
Conceal or abandon the child with intent to make such child lose
his/her civil status.
Sell or abandon the child to another person for valuable
consideration.
Neglect the child by not giving him/her the education which the
family’s situation in life and financial conditions permit.
Fail or refuse to enroll the child as required by Article 72 of PD 603.
Cause, abet, permit the truancy of the child from the school where
he/she is enrolled.
Improperly exploit the child by using him/her for purposes of begging
and other acts which are inimical to his/her interest and welfare.
Inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon the child which causes or
encourages the child to lead an immoral or dissolute life.
Permit the child to possess or carry deadly weapons.
Penalty: 2 months to 6 months for light offense
Activity:
1. Present the written questionnaire on the board and ask each
participant to respond to the questions using the metacards:
a. What are the roles of my father? How did he perform his
role as a father?
b. What are the tasks and responsibilities corresponding to
these roles?
c. How does he relate with his family?
d. What are the problems I encountered with my father in
terms of his role performance?
2. After each participant has individually responded to the questions.
Group them into six to eight members and ask them to share their
responses with the group.
Processing:
1. Ask each participant to report on their discussions using their
metacards as visual aids.
2. Linking these answers using your key learning points.
Application:
1. Ask the participants to identify their roles, which they think
strengthen in their family and write these down on a sheet of
paper.
2. Each sheet of paper shall be entitled “My roles as a father that I
need to Strengthen”
MODULE III
BECOMING YOUR WIFE’S BESTFRIEND
SESSION 1:
Difference Between Sex and Gender
Objectives:
At the end of the session, the participants should be able to:
Note to Facilitator:
Discussion on Islamic perspective may be included depending on the
background of the participants
Activity:
Word Association Exercise
1. Tell the participants that they have 20 minutes to do this exercise.
2. Divide the participants equally into two groups. Assign the word
“female” to the first group and the word “male” to the second
group.
3. Instruct the two groups to form a line and face the board (or
newsprint) that is divided into two columns, one for “female” and
the other column for “male.”
4. Tell the participants to write on the board (or newsprint) what is
being asked pertaining to the word assigned to them. The first
participant on the line writes one idea and he needs to pass on
the chalk or marker to the participant next to him until everybody
on their line has written their answer based on what is being
asked. They should do this as quickly as possible.
5. Ask the following:
a. First round – Things that are being used by a male or a
female
b. Second round – Places where a female or a male goes to
c. Third round – Food that a female or a male eats
d. Fourth round – Activities that a female or a male can do
e. Fifth round – Body parts of a female or a male
Processing:
1. Ask the participants the following questions:
a. Affective Level
While you are answering the questions/instruction given
by the facilitator, what was your reaction?
b. Cognitive Level
Are the ideas you have written on the board (newsprint) for
female only? For male only? Or can be for both?
The facilitator will do this as he/she examines every word
written on the board (newsprint) and make notes on what
are for female, for male, and for both.
Application:
SESSION 2:
Understanding the Difference between Men and Women
Methodology:
Buzz Group Discussion
Modified Role-Play
Lecture-Discussion
Key Learning Points:
Sense of Self
Man’s sense of self is defined though his ability to achieve results.
To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume he doesn’t know what
to do or that he can’t do it on his own. Generally speaking, when a
woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to “help” a man, she has no
idea of how critical and unloving she may sound to him.
A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the
quality of her relationships. A woman being able to share all her
feelings to her husband will be contented and satisfied. But a man
thinking of helping interrupts this stress releasing activity of a woman
by offering immediate solution to her problem.
John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,
points out the following2:
2. Ways of Motivating
Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed and
women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
Therefore not to be needed is a slow death for men.
2
http://passthrough.fw-
notify.net/download/452465/http://www.cleargoalscoaching.com/wp-
content/uploads/2011/06/Men-are-from-Mars-and-Women-Venue-1.pdf
A man’s deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is
incompetent. Therefore it is difficult for a man to listen to a woman
when she is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a
failure.
Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.
5. Mood of Women
A woman’s self-esteem rises and falls like a wave. When she hits
bottom, it is a time for emotional housecleaning.
In relationships, men pull back and then get closer, while women
rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others.
Even when a man is succeeding in supporting a woman, she may
become even more upset. The negative feelings of women should
not be suppressed otherwise the positive feelings become
suppressed as well.
Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right
to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding.
Therefore by supporting her need to be heard, she could support
his need to be free.
6. Emotional Needs
Fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able fully to
receive and appreciate the other kinds of love.
A woman needs care and a man needs trust.
She needs understanding and he needs appreciation.
She needs devotion and he needs admiration.
She needs validation and he needs approval.
She needs reassurance and he needs encouragement.
Activity:
1. Group the participants into two groups separating the men from
the women. (If all participants are males, ask one group to answer
the women’s point of view).
2. Each group to work on the following questions:
a. What do you like most about wife?
b. What do you dislike most about wife?
3. Ask the group to assign a reporter and a leader. The reporter
writes all responses of the participants on Manila paper while the
leader facilitates the group discussion and sharing.
4. Each group presents their discussion outputs in the plenary.
Processing:
1. While a group reports in the plenary, take note of the important
issues they raise.
2. Allow sufficient time for clarifications and sharing to deepen the
discussion.
3. Elicit the learning and insights from the participants.
4. Using your Key Learning Points, lead the participants’ insights
into understanding the difference between a man and a woman in
relation with one another.
Application:
1. Ask the participants to identify one personality attribute of their
wives that they like most and one attribute or characteristic that
they hate most.
2. In the attribute that they hate most, ask them what they can do so
that it will not irritate them anymore.
3. Ask the participants to write them on metacards and post them on
the board for everybody to see and learn from.
4. End the session with the following statement:
Objective:
The participants shall be able to discuss the
different factors that affect their marital Materials:
relationship.
Manila paper
Methodology: Pens
Brainstorming/Sharing Pencils
Role Playing Mirror
Lecture Discussion
Alternative Methodology – Film Showing
Activity:
Processing:
1. Ask the participants to report their group output in the plenary.
2. Encourage open discussion and clarification, as this will deepen
the discussion on the topic.
3. Provide highlights of the two group outputs and compare each
other’s responses.
4. Elicit learning from the participants and use your key learning
points.
Application:
1. Let the participants sit in a circle.
2. Provide participants with two pieces of paper and ask them to
answer the following questions:
a. What is the best thing that I like in me?
b. What is the best thing that I like in the person to my left?
c. What is the best thing that I like in the person to my right?
3. Once done, pass around a mirror and each one takes turn to talk
to ones’ self while looking at the mirror (for the first question); and
look directly to the person to one’s right and left for the second
and third questions.
4. Elicit their feelings and insights by asking the participants the
following questions:
a. What did you feel in the exercise?
b. What did you feel when you say directly to yourself the
attributes that you like best in yourself?
c. What did you feel when you received positive remarks
from those beside you?
d. What did you learn and discover in the exercise?
5. Synthesize the insights of participants and elicit other ways that
they think would improve husband’s relationship with their wife.
Ways to Improve Husband-Wife Relationship
(Photocopy and distribute as hands-out)
Activity:
1. Post the picture (anatomy) of the man and a woman on the board
and ask the participants to label their parts to have a clear picture
of the anatomy of a man and a woman.
2. Divide the participants into five to six members per group and ask
them to discuss the sexual characteristics of a man and a woman.
3. Ask them to make two columns in the newsprint provided to them
and label the first column, MAN and second column WOMAN.
4. Ask them to highlight the differences between men and women in
the attitudes and practice of sex.
5. Ask them to share their outputs in the plenary.
Processing:
1. Process the activity by adding more to their output focusing on areas
that have not been discussed based on the matrix below:
MAN WOMAN
Easily aroused (smell, sight, Longer time to get sexually
imagination, not necessarily by aroused more by direct
direct stimulation), reaches stimulation of erotic parts. Longer
sexual satisfaction in a shorter for her to reach sexual peak and
time, his feelings settle down in for her feelings to subdue.
much shorter time.3
Easier for man to deal with Repeated sexual frustration is
sexual frustrations, it is more difficult for a woman.
localized and can easily be
forgotten.
Sexual desire reaches its peak Average women does not achieve
in late teens to late twenties sexual peak till she is in her 30’s
then, it goes downhill and and retains this ability into her
slightly go up to mid-40’s and 60’s.
50’s. Sex and love can exist
independently of the other. Use Looks and expects more beyond
of sex as means of satisfying a just the sexual relationship alone.
great physical hunger-a Think of sex more in terms of
physical need that can exist love, care and security and not
even without love. just a means to physical
satisfaction.
2. Synthesize the above and connect them to your key learning points.
Activity:
1. Ask the participants to maintain the groupings that they have
formed and ask them to discuss the stages of the sexual act and
the practice of healthy and safe habits in sex. Guide them with the
following questions:
a. How to initiate and improve communication in sexual
relationship
b. What are the stages of the sexual act?
c. What should a couple do or observe to achieve a
mutually satisfying relationship?
2. Ask the participants to write their responses on the newsprint for
presentation in the plenary.
3
http://www.hidingthetruth.com/articles/do-women-really-hit-their-sexual-prime-
in-their-30s.html
Processing:
1. Synthesize responses of participants by focusing first on the first
questions and then to the second question.
2. Highlight commonalities and differences of their responses and
provide or link them to your last key learning point.
3. Stress that knowing the above stages, it is important to know what
one’s partner wants to do or how would you want him/her to
behave so that one may achieve a mutually satisfactory sexual
relationship.
Application:
1. Ask the participants to pause for a moment and define the areas
each one needs to work on to enhance one’s sexual life.
2. Then ask them to identify appropriate ways to strengthen their
marital sex life.
3. Allow time for buzz session and end the session with a prayer.
STAGES OF THE SEX ACT
(Copy on Acetate or big Brown Paper)
4
http://www.trans4mind.com/relationships/page11.html
Break the Ice
Talk with your partner about why it's hard to talk about sex.
Share earlier experiences with talking about sex.
Begin by discussing less threatening topics such as birth control,
sex education, etc.
Gradually move toward discussing more personal feelings and
concerns.
Read and discuss material if it seems easier than spontaneously
talking about personal matters.
Share your sexual histories including such areas as sex
education, first experience with sexuality, etc.
Take responsibility for your own pleasure. Realize that people are
not mind readers and genuinely communicate your needs and
desires.
Make requests specific. This will increase the chance that your
wishes will be understood and granted.
Use "I" language. Although it is sometimes difficult to personalize
requests, it is often the best means of getting a positive response.
Delivering Criticism
2. Both partners must be certain that they are not infected with
any sexually transmitted disease. The marital act deserves
respect and concern over the welfare of the partner. This concern
tests the dignity of the relationship.
SESSION 5:
Responsible Parenthood through Planned Family Size
Objectives: Materials:
The participants shall be able to: Old
1. Discuss the meaning of responsible Newspapers\and
parenthood. magazines
2. Discuss the major philosophy and Cartolina
concepts related to responsible
parenthood.
3. Articulate the motivating and hindering factors in practicing
responsible parenthood.
Methodology:
Collage-making
Small group discussion
Plenary presentation
Activity:
1. Divide the group into sub-groups
2. Ask them to brainstorm on the group’s definition of
RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD and interpret this definition
through a collage/picture cut outs or drawing.
3. Ask them to list down motivating forces in practicing Responsible
Parenthood.
4. Ask them to list down resistance forces in practicing Responsible
Parenthood.
5. Ask each group to present their output in the plenary.
Processing:
1. Process the activity by asking them the following questions:
a. What are the values behind Responsible Parenthood?
b. How can fathers appreciate the value of Responsible
Parenthood?
c. How can fathers be motivated to practice Responsible
Parenthood?
2. Use your key learning points to discuss the topic further then
present the following:
b. Outside Forces
Motivator’s commitment
NGO/GO support
Community support
Family support
Socio-economic forces/realities conducive to
Responsible Parenthood.
Child Spacing – allows sufficient time between the birth of the last child
and the new child so that the mother may rest and regain her health
before the subsequent pregnancy.
It is good for the parent who will still be able to enjoy each other’s
companionship without too many small children incessantly
demanding their attention.
It gives the mother the opportunity to attend to her needs and
provide for her own development.
It is best for the baby who will get the care necessary in the first
few years of his life without a younger sibling competing with
him/her for the limited, effort and resources of his parents.
MODULE IV
FATHERS AS CHILD CAREGIVER
SESISON 1:
Understanding the Developmental Stages of Children
Objective:
The participants shall be able to discuss and understand the stages of
psychosocial development of children.
Methodology:
Workshop
Lecture-Discussion
Audio-visual presentation
0-2 (Infancy) - The child has needs for food, love, rest, recreation,
security and stimulation. If these needs are met, they develop trust in
others, feel valued and have sense that life is good-HOPE.
3-6 (Play Age) - Child discovers that he can “do things”, climbs, draws,
puzzles together, goes to school, develops friendships. Make things
through crafts. The child develops initiative and a sense of belief in
himself that he can create and be successful – SENSE OF PURPOSE.
19-40 (Young Adult) - Adult discovers his life becomes better when he
can share and love; chooses partner and has children – LOVE.
0-2 (Infancy) - Child does not get needs met. Feels hungry, cold and
abandoned – MISTRUST.
2-3 (Early Childhood) - Child is punished for wetting, soling his pants,
child is yelled at or abused for not behaving – SHAME AND DOUBT.
3-6 (Play Age) - Child is rarely praised; only putdown remarks and/or
punished or ignored/abused. Normal curiosity is discouraged and
mistakes are punished – GUILT.
65-death (Mature Age) Knows he did not get what he want out of life – is
depressed, sad and sometimes very ill and in DESPAIR.
Activity:
4. Ask them to draw a ladder on a big brown paper with each step of the
ladder assigned to the following/corresponding age levels.
0-2 years old (Infancy)
2-3 years old (Early Childhood)
3-6 years old (Play Age)
6-12 years old (School Age)
12-19 (years old (Adolescence)
6. Ask the participants to write their answers on the ladder they drew.
2. Take note of the highlights of their report and write them on the board
to emphasize important ideas and details in the topic.
Application:
SESSION 2:
Responding to the Growth and Development Needs of Children and
Adolescents
5
http://education.stateuniversity.com/pages/1826/Child-Development-Stages-
Growth.html
Today, psychologists have come to agree that fathers play a unique and
crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development. Many experts
now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their
babies as mothers. As their children grow, fathers take on added roles of
guiding their children's intellectual and social development. Even when a
father is 'just playing' with his children, he is nurturing their development. 7
Methodology:
Workshop, Role Playing
Lecture-discussion
6
http://expertscolumn.com/content/different-stages-human-development
7
http://www.civitas.org.uk/hwu/fathers.php
Paternal Response to 2-3 years old children
Provide sympathy and listen well to your wife to release her stress
and exasperation in caring for your 2-3 year old child
Be flexible with rules and limits until he/she is emotionally mature
Encourage child to express feeling and help set reasonable limits
Use feedback techniques to set limits and ease stress
Start to toilet rain your child
Provide stimulating activities for language development
Enjoy the fun and love offered by the child – this strengthens the bond
between you.
8
http://thomaslcummins.tripod.com/id132.html
Your daughter needs time with you so she can learn to relate with you
and with other males.
This is the time to establish a positive relationship.
Train the child to have a regular time and place to study.
Don’t show any jealousy formed with any close relationship he/she
has.
Learn that unpleasant habits are part of middle childhood and will be
outgrown with paternal understanding and discipline.
Lecturing/scolding in front of other people embarrasses them and
leads them to feel inadequate and resentful.
Learn to praise your child; it’s the greatest reward or reinforcement.
Get into the habit of on the lookout for behavior you can praise.
Be a model. Your values and attitudes are absorbed strongly in this
period and passed on to your child.
Understand that your child needs a peer group. A peer group provides
a place free of adult influence. It helps your child exercise his
acquired socialization skills.
Prepare a place for peer group and teach him/her to handle teasing
and insults.
Activity:
1. Organize three main groups of six to eight members each (when
possible, do consider fathers with children directly related the age
group assigned to them i.e. Early Childhood (0-6 years old); Middle
Childhood (6-10 years old) and Adolescence (11-18 years old).
2. Ask the participants to select a group leader and a reporter.
3. Ask each group to discuss using the following questions:
a. What are the needs of children corresponding to the age
level assigned to your group? (Use previous group output
for reference)
b. What behavioral characteristics do you observe?
c. Did you respond to the above behavioral characteristics?
If yes, how?
d. What stimulating activities or support activities have you
given to your child to help him/her cope with his
developmental challenges?
4. Once done, ask the group to role-play the behavioral characteristics
they observed in their own children at the particular age group
assigned to them as well as the stimulating activities that they do to
support their children’s growth and development.
5. Ask the group to present in a plenary.
Note to Facilitator:
The facilitator may include session/tips on paternal response in handling
children with disabilities
Processing:
1. Ask the following questions:
a. Were the actions and responses of fathers conducive to the
growth and development of their children?
b. What are the negative
reactions or responses we
give to our children that THE SCULPTOR
hinder their process of By: Author, Unknown
development?
c. What are the problems you I took a piece of plastic clay
encounter in responding to And idly fashioned it, one day
the developmental stages of And as my fingers pressed it still
your children? It moved and yielded to my will
d. How do you overcome
them? I came again when days were passed
e. What do you do to help your That bit of clay was hard at last
child develop fully? The form I gave I still it bore
And I could change that form no more
2. Provide the handouts and
engage the trainees into further Then I took a piece of living clay
discussion. And gently formed it day by day
And molded with my power and art
Application: A young child’s soft and yielding heart
1. Stress that the fathers are key
players in providing care, I came again when years were gone
guidance, and direction during It was a man I looked upon
the psychosocial development He still that early impress bore
of their children. And I could change it no more.
2. End the session with the poem at the inset.
SESSION 3:
Raising Children in Gender Sensitive Ways
Objective:
The Participants shall be able to discuss how Filipino parents raise their
children in ways that socialize them into their gender
identities and roles. Materials:
Manila paper
Transparencies
Methodology: Pen markers
Brainstorming Masking tape
Group Sharing
Lecture/Discussion
Activity:
1. Make two main groups and ask them to respond and share their
different views on the following:
a. If you were going to have your first baby, what would you prefer, a
male or a female baby?
b. What are the roles you expect from your son? From your
daughter?
c. How do you raise your son? How do you raise your daughter?
d. Do you care more on your son? Or do you care more for your
daughter?
2. Ask the participants to write their responses on the newsprint.
3. Ask each group to report their output in the plenary.
4. Allow reactions and comments from other participants as each group
reports in the plenary.
Processing:
1. Engage the participants into discussion by asking the following
questions:
How and why did you come up with such child preference in your
family?
How are these roles manifested in the way you raised your child?
Why do you think we adhere to these differences in the roles we
give to our sons and daughters?
2. Direct the discussion using your Key Learning Points and allow time
for more questions and clarifications.
Application:
1. Ask the participants to answer this question individually (ask them to
write their answers)” “How would I raise my son so that he can
become nurturing father in his own children someday?”
2. Ask the participants to write their answers on metacards and to attach
them on their chest.
3. Ask the participants to move around to share it with other participants.
4. End the session with a song or a prayer.
SESSION 4:
Responding to Child’s Rights and Responsibilities
This session will discuss the rights of the child. Fathers should be aware
and should recognize that there are basic rights of the child, which are
written under the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Objectives: Materials:
The participants shall be able to: Illustration of child at the Centre
1. Explain the rights of the child. of Society (Child Friendly
2. Discuss the four broad areas Movement)
covered by the Convention on the Poster of the Convention on the
Rights of the Child. Rights of the child
3. List the responsibilities of Fathers Flipchart containing words of
and adults towards children. “Sampung Mga Karapatan”
Manila paper
Methodology: Masking tape
Brainstorming, group discussion, Pentel pens
matching game Cards marked “A”, “B” and “C”
Activity:
Processing:
1. Form three groups and ask the following questions for the group to
answer:
“What do you think are the top two rights not met by most children in
your community?” Which rights do you as a father supports the
most?”
2. Allow time for the groups to discuss and write their answers on Manila
paper.
3. Post the answers and ask a representative from each group to explain
the outputs.
4. Allow more time for insights and other learning.
Application:
5. End the session by showing the flipchart of “Mga Karapatan Ko” to the
tune of “Sampung Mga Daliri.”
THE SONG
Mga karapatan ko
Apat ang saklaw nyan
Mabuhay ng matiwasay
Umunlad ng mahusay
Proteksyon sa panganib
Isali’t pakinggan
Karapatan, ipaglaban
Ng mga magulang
MODULE V
PROMOTING FAMILY SPIRITUALITY
SESSION 1:
Fathers as Spiritual Leaders
Try to look back at your past and look at your present situation. Do you
think you can be proud of yourself for the rest of your life? Do you have
that inner confidence, inner love, peace
and trust emanating from your enduring
faith in God? What have you done to
yourself as spiritual being in the context
of your role as a father? And just what
do you think does it take for you to be
kind of father we need to be in order to
provide the most wholesome and
spiritually rich home in which your
children’s souls might be unfolded.
Family Spirituality
It is the synergistic by product of all the interpersonal dynamics between
parent and child, child and siblings and spouse and spouse. This can be
characterized by a strong bond among family members-healthy
relationships with love, support, guidance and a sense of shared identity.
It generates and energizes spiritual power making us become more
trusting and hopeful to pursue things despite occurrence of obstacles.
Activity:
1. Ask participants to individually reflect guided by the following
questions (facilitator may play a soft music):
a. Am I the spiritual leader of my family?
b. How do I manifest spiritual leadership in my family?
c. What spiritual activities do we do in our own family that
helps promote trust and unity in our relationship?
d. What are the hindrances in fulfilling our spiritual
activities?
e. What actions to we take to address these hindrances?
2. Provide them with paper and pens to write their reflections.
3. After the participants complete the individual work, make three
main groups and ask them to share their responses with one
another.
4. Ask each group to assign a reporter to write highlights and a
leader to facilitate the group sharing.
5. Each group to take turns in presenting a summary of their
reflections.
Processing:
1. Take note of all key messages in the output of the participants
and write them on the board.
2. Allow sharing of experiences, ideas and hopes to deepen the
discussion on this topic.
3. Discuss further using your key learning points.
Application:
1. Provide art materials (crayons and big brown paper) and ask the
groups to draw murals of how fathers can play their roles as
family spiritual leaders.
2. Post murals around the room like a gallery.
3. Allow time and encourage each one to view the three murals.
SESSION 2:
Raising Your Children to be of High Spiritual Values
Objective:
The participants shall be able to identify ways to
help children grow with high spiritual values. Materials:
Flipchart paper
Methodology: Pens
Workshop/Discussion Markers
Role Playing handouts
Activity:
1. Make five main groups.
2. Ask them to work on the following questions:
a. What are the best ways to teach and raise my children
spiritual values?
b. How can fathers teach their children to become more
responsible?
3. Allow time for the group to answer and present their outputs using
role play.
Processing:
1. Ask participants how they feel and what they think about the
presentations.
2. Discuss further using your key learning points.
Application:
1. Direct the participants to the empty flip chart paper and ask them
to list down as many activities to undertake to promote family
spirituality.
2. Ask them to individually choose which among the lists are doable
daily, weekly or in special periods.
3. Give out paper and pens for them to make their planned spiritual
activity schedules.
MODULE VI
FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN THE PROMOTION OF PEACE IN THE
FAMILY
SESSION 1:
Understanding Family Violence
Objective:
The participants shall be able to discuss how
violence evolves in the family and how this affects Materials:
the members. Cartolina or metacards
Pen markers
Methodology: Manila paper
Brainstorming Old Magazines and
Short Lecture Newspapers
Discussion Scissors
Paste
Key Learning Points:
Family violence is a serious social problem that affects not only the
family but the community as well. It often remains a hidden problem in
the family, which has long lasting effects on the victims particularly on
their personality. Victims of family violence are usually the children,
women and older people.
Activity:
Processing:
1. Based on the responses of the participants, ask them to
categorize the different types of abuses they find in their home
and in their community. Elicit responses on the following
questions:
a. Who do you think are the perpetrators of violence in the
family?
b. Why do you think these forms of abuses are occurring in
your community?
c. What effect do you think will it have on your children?
2. Write all the responses on the board and write key messages on
family violence, using your Key Learning Points.
Application:
1. Group the participants into 2 or 3 groups and ask them to identify
ways to prevent family violence at home.
2. Ask the groups to present their outputs in creative media
presentation i.e. song, dance, pantomime and poem.
SESSION 2:
Preventing Violence in the Home
Objectives: Materials:
The participants shall be able to: Reflective instrumental
1. Discuss the importance of the need to music on tape
prevent violence in the home.
2. Discuss anger management as a way to Tape recorder
prevent violence in the family.
Methodology:
Individual exercise
Lecture
Discussion
However, when someone is angry at you or at the situation, you may also
do the following:
Listen carefully and don’t interrupt. Always let the angry person vents
his/her anger and frustration.
Focus your full attention on the person. Always establish eye contact.
Don’t divide your attention by trying to do something else.
Control your emotions by remaining calm and avoiding the temptation
to engage in an argument.
Apologize if necessary if it is your fault. Do not try to defend yourself
rather let the other person see your affirmation and recognition of your
fault.
Solve the problem immediately if necessary. Your wife and children
will appreciate you so much and regard you positively.
Activity:
1. Divide the participants into two groups.
2. Ask one group to work on defining the different steps in managing
one’s own anger and the other group on identifying activities in
coping with other people’s anger.
3. Remind the groups that each participant will write as many
answers on the board.
4. Acknowledge the group who yields the most responses.
Processing:
1. Process the activity by checking the responses and allow time for
confirmation or validation
2. Elicit insights and learning whether they can prevent or minimize
any form of abuse or violence if they manage and control their
anger using the following questions:
a. Will you really be able to control occurrence of abuse in
the family if you control or manage your anger?
b. What are the other ways to handle your anger inside the
home?
3. Synthesize the session using your key learning points.
Application:
1. Play the instrumental music and ask the participants to listen.
2. Ask each to recall the past conflict he had with his wife or his
children and identify positive ways to respond to anger.
3. Encourage them to share reflections with any participant one feels
comfortable with
SESSION 3:
The Father’s Role in Preventing Family Violence in the Community
Objective:
The participants shall be able to develop interest
and take an active role in the prevention of family Materials:
violence in the community. Cartolina or acetate
visual aid
Methodology:
Workshop Handouts
Lecture – discussion Child’s Rights
Alternate methodology: Creative Media/Radio Poster
drama
Processing:
1. Synthesize and acknowledge responses of fathers, which you
wrote on metacards.
2. Focus on detailing out specific activities that fathers can do into
two categories – family and community – in preventing children
from becoming victims of abuse.
3. Present and discuss your key learning points.
Application:
1. Divide the participants into three main groups and ask them to
read the poster of Child’s Rights.
2. Ask the three groups to work on the theme: “Fathers as advocate
on the Rights of the Children”.
3. Ask them to create either a role-play presentation or a song
(“palit-awit”) by asking them to identify a very familiar song and
change its lyrics to infuse their theme.
4. Ask each group to present their creative outputs.
MODULE VII
FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN PROMOTING A DRUG-FREE HOME
SESSION 1:
Understanding Substance Abuse
Methodology
Brainstorming
Collage Making
Drug/Substance Addiction
Means that the person’s whole life is devoted to buying and taking drugs
and it usually applies to those who are regular, heavy users of drugs such
as heroin or cocaine and other substance such as cigarettes and alcohol.
Drug/Substance Tolerance
As people take more of a drug and other forms of substance the body can
adapt to tolerate increased amounts. This means larger doses or amount
are needed to get an effect. This can happen with many different drugs
and other forms of substance.
Dependency
Withdrawal Symptoms
Caffeine – Commonly found in soft drinks, coffee and tea. Mild stimulation
and if for the most part harmless to people, except for its addicting nature.
It causes:
Insomnia
Restlessness
Anxiety
Increase in heart rate
Possible irregularities in the heart
Heavy coffee drinkers are more prone to develop coronary heart
disease.
Nicotine – Tobacco and cigarettes are the most common forms of taking
nicotine. It causes:
High risks to the lungs, heart, blood and nervous system that can
cause respiratory failure, general paralysis, lung cancer, chronic
bronchitis, emphysema and cardiovascular disease.
Passive smoking can be harmful to children.
Pregnant women who smoke may harm the fetus.
ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES CREATING PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE
Cocaine – White crystalline powder derived from coca plant is the most
potent natural stimulant. It causes:
Risk of death in the form of heart attack or stroke from excessive
use.
Seizure.
Cerebral hemorrhage.
Alcohol – Among the many forms are: Beers made from grain through
brewing and fermentation contains 3-8% alcohol, and up to 21% when
fortified by adding alcohol; Distilled beverages such as whisky, gin and
vodka contain 40-50% alcohol. Drinkers become physically addicted and
develop tolerance quickly.
Impaired judgment
Slurred speech
Loss of motor skills
Difficulty in controlling emotions
Digestive-system disorders such as cancer of the mouth, throat
and esophagus, gastritis, ulcers, cirrhosis of the liver, and
inflammation of the pancreas.
Disorders of the nervous system such as neuritis, lapse of
memory (blackout), hallucinations and extreme tremors.
Pregnant women who drink heavily may give birth to infants with
face and body abnormalities.
Barbiturates, Quaaludes (Hallucinogens) – Hallucinogenic drugs act on
the central nervous system by distorting auditor, tactile and visual
perceptions of reality. Users have the ability to “hear sights” and “see
sounds”. Users….
Develop tolerance
“Coming Down” is of negative and depressive nature of “bad trip”
that may manifest itself in the form of suicidal tendencies.
The Person
If you drink when you feel miserable, you will often feel worse; if you are
anxious or depressed before taking LSD, you are more likely to have a
bad experience. Also the following factors may affect the experience.
Physical Health Problems. Drug use could be more dangerous for
those with heart, blood pressure, epilepsy, diabetes, and asthma or
liver problems.
Weight. Drugs act differently depending how heavy you are: the
effects may be more in a lighter person. People who have eating
disorders like anorexia or bulimia may also find drug use makes it
even worse.
Not Being Used to Drugs. Somebody new to drug use may be
anxious, unsure of what to do or expect and be more likely to get into
problems or have a nasty experience.
Sex. Drug use may be different for males and females because of the
different physical make up and the different way people view male
and female drug use. It is often seen as OK for men to do certain
things or behave in certain ways but not for women.
The Family
Drug user can have a residual effect on the lives of the family. Dependent
drug users will lie and steal even from his/her own family gradually
depleting the family’s financial and emotional resources.
In some cases, parents are part of the problem. Due to poverty they allow
their children to deal drugs.
The Environment
Where people use it can be risky. Some take drugs in dodgy places like
canal banks, near railways lines and in other similar areas. Accidents are
much more likely in these places especially if people are out of their
heads. Also, if anything goes wrong, it is less likely that help will be at
hand or an ambulance could easily be called.
Another problem has been the use of ecstasy in clubs where people
dance for hours in very crowded and hot situation. This has led to people
overheating and some have died of dehydration and heat exhaustion.
What people are doing while they are on drugs can be risky. Driving a car
or operating machinery whilst on drugs for example, can greatly increase
the chances of serious accidents. Penalties for driving under the
influence of drugs resulting in an accident can be severe. Having sex
while on drugs can make remembering safer sex – like using condoms –
much more difficult.
Activity
1. Divide the participants into 3 main groups with 5-8 members per
group.
2. Provide them with the necessary materials for the workshop.
3. Ask each group to brainstorm on the current situation of
drugs/substance abuse problems in their respective areas.
4. Ask them to look for a picture of drugs/substance abuse that are
commonly used in their communities in old newspapers and
magazines and make visual images of collages.
5. Ask each group to appoint a leader to facilitate.
6. Guide the discussion with the following questions:
What is drug/substance abuse/misuse? What are the commonly
abused/misused drugs/substances in your community? What are the
consequences of drug/substance abuse in the person using it and to
his/her family?
Processing:
Application:
1. Ask three of five volunteer participants to talk about their own
experiences as teenage boys and how they were able to manage
or avoid using drugs and substances.
2. Then ask for short “father-dialogues” or what fathers can tell their
teenagers to teach them how to avoid drugs and substances.
SESSION 2:
Drug/Substance Abuse in the Home
How can you tell when your child may be on drugs or needs help?
1. Contact all the parents of your child’s friend whether your child is
a known user or not.
2. Tell them what you are leaning new fact about drug and alcohol
use and would like to share your information with them.
3. Find out if there is a problem and its extent.
4. Tell them that drug usage affects non-users as well as users in
negative ways and emphasize that together you can all learn.
5. Get the parents together and commit yourselves to a mutual
learning process.
6. Make clear that accusations, hostility and using scapegoats are
not what you are after.
7. Then dig out and pool all the information you can get if drug and
alcohol use has begun among local children.
8. Air suspicions, rumors, gossip and guesses as well as known
facts. It is crucial that all parents learn on what is going on and
that they do not bury their heads in the sand; that they do not
back off when painful information begins to surface.
9. Find out who is involved as users, suppliers and be ready to
confront all of them with their parents. Do this in a helpful and not
in an accusing manner.
10. In your parent’s group, work out a common code of basic
behavioral rules – on drugs and drinking, dating, curfews,
chaperoning, etc. then present a unified parental front, a
communal set of standards.
11. Twenty or thirty parents working together can establish a more
controllable community for their kids, regardless of what happens
to the rest of the “wicked world”. Be willing to back up each other
when kids try to test you, to divide and conquer, to claim that “so
and so gets to do such and such”.
12. Keep your parent communication networks going so that you
keep up with changing situations and changing problems. It’s
important and even reassuring to your kids to know that you and
their friends’ parents know what is going on out in that difficult real
world that kids must contend with.
13. Work hard at developing fun, meaningful and constructive
alternatives to drug and alcohol use. Utilize the resources of other
parents and of churches but make sure that these organizations
also know what is going on. Kids can get just as stoned at church
camps and in football dressing rooms as they do in sneaky hide
outs, if the adult in charge is naïve and uninformed.
14. Remember that drug using and drug dealing can be fun,
adventurous, exciting games for kids. Very few will meet a “dirty
old pusher” in the initial stages. They will get their drugs from
friends, from older brothers and sisters, from cool and friendly and
flattering older teenagers. That first share of joint will be a
generous and fun experience for many youngsters. So be ready
to counter that with more interesting, healthier, more lawful and
more stimulating entertainment with service to others.
15. Recognize that it will not be all sweetness and light. Kids who
belong to a drug-using peer group will fight to maintain that
secure circle of friends. They can be sullen, defiant, deceptive
and downright dislikeable. A parent has to hang in there, to act
out of pure faith, for a long enough time to make his child
recognize his seriousness. This may take few months or a few
years. You may need professional help. But you owe it to your
child. The alternatives are too hazardous. A child’s drug usage
can tear a family apart, but a parental and familial struggle to
regain a drug-free child can be strengthened and reunify a family.
Activity:
1. Provide the participants with a sample of a completed Genogram
(see attached sample) on the Board and give them a blank sheet
of bond paper.
2. Provide them with the mechanics on how to do a Genogram and
ask them to do the same guided by the following questions:
a) What role(s) did each family member assume in your family
(e.g. family hero, scapegoat, peacemaker, rescuer, parental
child, etc)? At present, what role (s) do you tend to play in
the family or family like relationships?
b) How did each member of your family express affection?
At present time, how do you tend to express affection?
c) How did family members seek help and support in your
family? From whom? Today, when you need help and
support, how do you seek it? From whom?
d) How does your family cope with problem and stress?
Who does the problem solving and decision-making in the
family?
e) How did each member of your family express anger? How
were other feelings expressed? Sadness? Fear? Joy? At this
in your life, how do you express each of these feelings?
f) What are (at least 5) the most important positive or
negative experiences/characteristics you and your family
members possess? How do these affect you today?
Which, if any, of these might you now wish to unlearn?
What new learning might you put in their place?
g) How are your childhood and family experiences likely to
affect your performance as a father now in promoting
drug-free home?
3. When the participants completed their Genograms. Ask them to
find a partner whom they are comfortable with and share what
they wrote. Ask them to share based on the Genogram guide
question. Allow 20-30 minutes for sharing.
Processing:
1. Gather the participants into new group and process the whole
activity by asking them the following questions:
a. What did your learn/discover from your sharing?
b. What are the weak and positive characteristics of your
family?
c. Is there a pattern of substance/drug abuse manifested in
your family of origin?
d. What are the different substances/drugs abusively used?
e. How were they managed and controlled?
2. Write down key messages on the board and begin integrating
these using your Key Learning Points.
3. Give the hand outs and discuss.
Application:
1. Divide the participants into four (4) groups and ask them to
prepare a slogan or a poem on how father can establish a drug
free home.
2. Ask them to present their group output in the plenary.
3. End the session by the following statement.
Drug dependents are never cured. They are recovered. The best
that fathers can do is to prevent it by establishing open and trusting
relationship with their children. Do not lecture, moralize, scold or
argue but be around to help, to give love and understanding to enable
them to cope and overcome substance abuse. Be an empathetic
listener! However, do not tolerate nor condone their addiction.
FAMILY GENOGRAM
FAMILY GENOGRAM
MODULE VIII
FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN THE PREVENTION OF HIV-AIDS
SESSION 1:
Understanding HIV/AIDS
Objectives: Materials:
The participants shall be able to: Metacards (3” x 10” colored
1. Discuss what HIV-AIDS is; and Cartolina
2. Discuss the HIV-AIDS situations Marking pens
in the Philippines Masking tapes
RA 8504
Methodology: HIV-AIDS Philippines
Message Relay statistics (acquire from your
Group Workshop local health department)
Lecture
Discussion
Activity:
1. Form two equal groups asking the members of the group hold
hands, and sit side-by-side in a semi-circle.
2. Sit in the middle of the two groups holding hands with the persons
to your left and right, and tell them that you will play the “silent
relay” game.
3. Tell them that you are the “message sender” and you will send
silent number messages by pressing/squeezing the hands of the
person nearest you.
4. These two people to your left and right counts the number of
squeezes/presses they feel and then pass on the silent number
message to the next person until it reaches the last person.
5. The last person calls out or announces the number of
presses/squeezes he gets. The group who gets the exact number
of squeezes /presses wins a score.
6. Allow five to seven rounds
7. Talk about the game and lead the group to appreciating the
importance of acquiring correct information.
8. Stress that if information passed is incorrect, can affect those who
receive it.
9. Relate this with their roles as community leaders and volunteers
as information givers to families in their own communities.
10. Zero-in to the issues of HIV-AIDS, particularly unknown facts and
misconceptions (i.e. mode of transmission, cure, etc.)
Processing:
1. Ask what your trainees know about HIV-AIDS, mode of
transmission, and how it can be prevented.
2. Use your key learning points and allow more time for discussion.
3. When necessary, ask the help of your local expert to be around to
answer other medical questions.
Application:
1. Ask some of the fathers to share stories about ways to maintain a
faithful relationship.
2. Distribute paper and pens and ask them to write their wives love
letters of faithfulness.
3. Call on some volunteers to read their love letter to their wives.
SESSION 2:
Safe Sex and Other Safety Measures
Objectives:
The participants shall be able to:
1. Discuss ways to practice safe sex;
and
Materials:
2. Discuss ways to safeguard oneself from
Metacards
acquiring HIV-AIDS.
Pentel Pen
Masking Tape
Methodology:
Handouts and
Brainstorming
brochures
Group Discussion
Plenary Presentation
Know and practice the ABC of safer sex and AIDS prevention:
1. Talk about it
2. Use only latex (rubber) condoms.
3. Condoms should be stored properly.
4. Do not use a condom if its package has been broken.
5. Put on the condom as soon as the penis is erect.
6. Pinch the end of the condom to squeeze air out of the reservoir
(or nipple).
7. If the penis is uncircumcised, pull back the foreskin before rolling
the condom over it.
8. Condoms that have been used for anal sex should not be used for
vaginal or oral sex.
9. After intercourse, the rim of the condom (at the base of the penis)
should be held against the man as he withdraws.
10. After removing the condom, tie a knot in the open end to confine
the semen.
11. Immediately after intercourse, both partners should wash off any
semen or vaginal secretion with soap and water.
There are many things that society can do to help prevent the spread of
HIV. But to be able to do this, there must be an openness to discuss the
many issues surrounding HIV, especially sexuality. This does not just
mean frank discussions about sex but must also extend to issues such as
gender equality. As long as women are denied a voice in sexual matters,
they will remain placed in high-risk situations.
Activity:
1. Divide participants into four groups with seven to eight members
and ask them to brainstorm on how safe sex can be achieved and
what are the other safety measures that fathers can do to prevent
HIV/AIDS transmission and infection.
2. Give them 20 minutes and ask them to present their output in the
plenary.
Processing:
1. Process the activity by asking the participants the following
questions:
a. Will HIV-AIDS be prevented in our country?
b. How can fathers and the families themselves prevent
HIV-AIDS?
2. Give the handouts/brochures away and begin discussion using
your key learning points.
Application:
1. Ask the participants to remain in their groupings and provide them
with ½ Cartolina or manila paper ask them to write a poem, a
slogan or a palit-awit that will have a message on the importance
of safer sex in preventing HIV-AIDS and what it means to secure
a safe and health family against HIV-AIDS.
2. Ask them to present their outputs in the plenary.
MODULE IX
FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN PROMOTING POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Well at this juncture, you may need to create formal “ERPAT graduation
or completion ceremony.
You can:
But before you do all these, below we include a short session, which
family members of your father-trainees can also participate in.
ERPAT
ASSOCIATION
OFFICERS
President
Vice President
Secretary
Treasurer
Auditor
Public Relations Officer
Peace Courting Officer
APPENDIX B
Noted by:
Identifying Data
Name: ______________________________________
Status:
Age: _________ Sex: ________ (__) Married
Date of Birth: __________ (__) Separated
Place of Birth: ________________________ (__) Widower
Occupation: __________________________ (__) Guardian
Religion: ____________________________ (__) Solo Parent
Home Address: _______________________________________
Telephone Number: ____________________
Family Composition
Name Sex Relationship Age
Educational Attainment:
Elementary: _____________________________
High School: _____________________________
Vocational: ______________________________
College: ________________________________
Others: _________________________________
Special Abilities:
Skills/Talent: ________________________________________
Hobbies: ___________________________________________
Other skills: _________________________________________
Community Involvement
School: _________________________________________
Civic: ___________________________________________
Community: ______________________________________
Workplace: _______________________________________
Others: __________________________________________
Seminars /Training Attended:
Title: _______________________________________________
Date: _______________________________________________
Organizers: __________________________________________
Title: _______________________________________________
Date: _______________________________________________
Organizers: __________________________________________
Signature: _________________________________
APPENDIX D
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________
6. WORKER’S APPLICATIONS
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
___________________________________
_______________________
Worker/Volunteer’s Signature
APPENDIX E
ISSUES/CONCERNS/RECOMMENDATIONS
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________
Noted by:
________________________________
APPEDNIX F
OATH OF COMMITMENT
So help me GOD.
Signed on_______________________________________200__ at
(Day and Month)
___________________________________________________________
________________________
__________________________ _______________________
__________________________ _______________________
__________________________ _______________________
__________________________ _______________________
__________________________ _______________________
APPENDIX G
Family Planning
Does not mean stopping to have children
It means having children only when couple wants them and when they
can best take care of them.
It means not leaving conception to chance.
It is to reason for couple to choose for themselves the number of
children they want and time of birth they wish.
It is a resource because it will enable them to provide only for children
who it can afford to support.
It help in furthering national development in increasing the share of
each Filipino in the fruits of economic progress and in meeting the
goal and social challenge of the high rate of population growth.
To Mothers:
Enables the mother to regain her health after delivery. It takes 2 to 3
years to fully recover her health after childbirth.
Prevents young mothers (below 18 years old) and old mothers (over
35 years old) from getting pregnant because it is dangerous for them
to bear children at their age.
- Teenage mothers have the high tendency for anemia, toxemia
and prolonged labor.
- Old mothers are more likely to suffer hemorrhage because of
uterine rapture and weakness of uterine muscles. Also they have
high tendency to develop hypertension.
To Fathers:
Provide fathers who are suffering from chronic illnesses such as
tuberculosis, diabetes, heart disease, anemia, etc. enough time for
treatment and recovery.
Lightens his burden and responsibility in supporting his family since
he will be providing only for the children he can afford to support.
Enables him to give his children a good home, good education and a
better future.
Gives him time for his own personal advancement.
Enables him to have time and opportunity to enrich and strengthen his
relationship with his wife and with his children
Gives him feeling of fulfillment and pride in his family for having a wife
who can attend to their children and home chores and develop herself
as a woman/wife.
Provide fathers with extra resources and enough time to actively
participate in the community programs/projects.
Frees a jobless father from worry of having additional child to support.
3. Permanent Method
a. Bilateral Tubal Ligation (Female Sterilization)
Description:
b. Vasectomy (Male Sterilization)
Description: Small incision is made in both sides of the scrotum
to expose the vas deference, which is then cut, clipped; requires
local anesthesia. There are health facilities/centers offering
family planning services.
APPENDIX H
Most people whose blood streams have recently been infected by HIV,
look and feel perfectly healthy. After a few years, however, many of the
infected will develop a condition in which appear intermittent or persistent
symptoms of fever, fatigue, weakness, diarrhea, and malaise, loss of
weight and generalized swelling of lymph nodes in the neck, armpits or
groin. Other symptoms may also include patches in the mouth and
tongue, sores in the genital areas, buttocks, or mouth, athlete’s foot, etc.
This condition may persist for an extended period of time and it may even
disappear, but frequently precedes the more serious syndrome of AIDS.
However, once the infection occurs, the human body may take from six
weeks to a year or more to produce the antibodies that can be detected
through tests. For this reason, a negative test should not provide a
definite sense of security to a person that has been exposed to the HIV
infection.
The most common tests used in the Philippines are the ELISA test
(Enzyme-Linked ImmunoSorbent Assay) and the P.A. (Particle
Agglutination) after two positive screening tests, a confirmatory test
(Western Blot or Immunofluorescence test) is administered to validate the
screening test results.
HIV only infects human beings, and destroys the body’s defense that
fights other diseases. HIV multiplies inside the body and attacks the
defenses of the infected person. Sometimes HIV is called the AIDS virus,
because being infected with HIV can lead to AIDS. But having HIV
infection is not the same as having AIDS. The virus can lie inactive in the
human body as long as 10 years without causing any symptoms. Initially a
person infected with HIV does not have the actual disease (AIDS) and
he/she may look and feel healthy. However, she/her carries the HIV for
the rest of her/his life and can spread the HIV to others.
Definitely: A few days to a few weeks after becoming infected with HIV,
some (not all) people will develop symptoms like those of flu or
mononucleosis; fatigue, headaches, fever, sore throat, lymphadenopathy
(enlarged lymph nodes) and sweating. These acute illness episodes last
for one to three weeks. Most people will not be able to relate illness to HIV
infection.
The reason HIV is so deadly is that it attacks the body’s immune system.
As the body’s immune system slows down because of HIV, many different
illnesses can occur with different signs and symptoms. Middle HIV-related
illnesses have symptoms such as enlarge lymph nodes, unexplained
weight loss, persistent night sweats. Note that these symptoms are very
general and could come with many other illnesses not related to HIV.
Eventually, life-threatening opportunistic infections and cancers set in and
the person dies within one to three years.
1. Rise of opportunistic infections and cancers found in AIDS
1.1. Cancers
HIV directly affects the brain and causes HIV dementia with disturbances
of brain functions including memory, orientation, comprehension, learning
capacity, language and judgment. HIV dementia is usually found in the
more advanced stages of AIDS.
1.3. Tuberculosis
Tuberculosis in patients with HIV can be pulmonary (in the lungs) but a
large percentage also has extra pulmonary disease, involving the bone
marrow, the liver and the lymph nodes. About half of HIV patients with
advanced tuberculosis will also develop disseminated Mycobacterium
avium intracellulare (MAI) infection.
Much of the literature about HIV talks about “body fluids” as the medium
through which the virus is passed. This tends to be misleading. HIV does
thrive in many types of body fluids but for an infection to occur there must
be: a) sufficient amount of the virus transmitted; and b) a way for the virus
to enter in the bloodstream. These two conditions must be met for an
infection to take place. To understand how this works, let us look at two
case examples.
One is saliva, around which there are many myths (e.g. kissing transmits
HIV). The reason saliva is not a way for transmitting HIV is that there are
much too low concentrations of the virus in this fluid. Even in patients with
periodontal (gum) diseases, infected cells have rarely been found. This is
probably because saliva itself has anti-viral properties.
The types of body fluids through which HIV is most likely to be transmitted
are:
Since HIV is found mainly in blood, semen, cervical and vaginal mucus,
and breast milk, we can see why the virus is more likely to be transmitted
through:
a. Sexual Intercourse:
By having unprotected sexual intercourse with a person who has the virus
would be the main route of transmitting infected semen and cervical or
vaginal secretion. This accounts for approximately 80% of the worldwide
transmission.
b. Blood Transfusions:
e. Organ Donation:
Since donated organs contain large amounts of blood, the chances of HIV
infection are high if a person receives an organ from an infected donor.
f. Accidental Exposure in Hospitals and Clinics:
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimated that at least one in ten
sexually active people is infected with STD annually. Young people of
both sexes are particularly vulnerable to STD. Young peoples ages 15 to
24 have the highest rate of new HIV infection in most countries.
It is very important that people know how to prevent STDs, recognize its
symptoms and have access to sympathetic and effective treatment.
The term “sexually transmitted disease” (STD) is used for all infections
that are transmitted mainly though sexual contact, during unprotected
vaginal or anal intercourse. Some are also transmitted from mother to
child before or during birth and through unsafe blood donations.
Syphilis – Bacterial infection that can cause genital or anal ulcers. The
bacteria can be spread from a pregnant woman to the fetus, as well as
through sexual contact. If left untreated of some years, syphilis can lead
to nerve damage and death. It can be cured with antibiotics.
Symptoms include pain in the lower abdomen and back, fever and
vomiting. If PID is not treated, more sever symptoms, such as bleeding
between periods and unusually painful periods, may develop and may
eventually lead to infertility.
Treatment with acyclovir can make the ulcers heal faster. Rest, sleep and
a good diet make them less likely to come back.
Warts are very common and are very easily passed during sexual activity.
They are “burnt off” using special chemical compounds. Other methods
such as freezing or laser treatment can also be used.
Most women have thrust at some time in their life. It is common in babies
and in adults who are tired and stressed, diabetic, taking antibiotics or
have a damaged immune system because of HIV infection. It causes
itching or pain.
Some women do not notice any symptoms. Men can be infected without
any symptoms.
Written by: Fr. Ruben M. Tanseco, S.J., Center for Family Ministries
(CEFAM), Ateneo De Manila University
What is Empathy?
“Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.” (S. Covey)
To experience reality from the other’s world and perspective is easier said
and done, particularly when I am feeling angry, or hurt, or emotionally
upset. Before I can experience empathy, I need to become aware of my
love for the one I am trying to listen to (my wife, son or daughter). And
then I need to be aware of God’s presence within me, and in the person of
the other, as we have learned in our session on “Maka-Diyos”.
And it is the same love and God’s loving presence within me that will
motivate me to share myself with empathy.
EMPATHETIC SHARING
Here, you own your feelings, reporting them directly but in a non-
judgmental way, in an empathic way.
Describe how the situation is affecting you. (E.g. “Every time this
happens, my feelings of affection suffer, and seem to grow cold.”)
A. Demo-Session
(The facilitator will now demonstrate how empathetic listening and
empathetic sharing are done by taking the role of a father, and asking a
volunteer from the group to take the role of a son. In front of the whole
group, the two will now role-play a typical conflict situation between father
and son. A 20-minute session would be sufficient.
An open forum will then follow, where questions and clarifications can be
entertained.)
This will end with processing in the total group for the learning of the
participants).
A. Residential Centers
Department of Health-
Bicutan Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Camp Bagong Diwa, Bicutan, Taguig City
Contact Person: Dr. Marvin V. Diokno
Director II
Tel No: (02) 379-5553
(02) 379-5551
Capacity: 500 (Male and Female)
REGION III
REGION IV-A
Department of Health-
Tagaytay City Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Ipil St., Kaybagal South, Tagaytay City
Contact Person: Dr. Carmelita B. Belgica
Chief
Tel No: (046) 483-1334
Capacity: 120 (Male)
Department of Health-
Camarines Sur Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Pamukid, San Fernando, Camarines Sur
Contact Person: Dr. Ma. Lourdes Anson
Officer In-Charge
Tel No: (054) 478-4769
Capacity: 50 (Male and Female)
Department of Health-
Malinao Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Brgy. Comun, Malinao, Albay
Contact Person: Dr. Ma. Teresa C. Iñigo
Officer In-Charge
Tel No: (052) 830-5390
Fax No: (052) 483-0840
Capacity: 60 (Male)
REGION VI
REGION VIII
Department of Health-
Dulag, Leyte Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Brgy. Highway, Dulag Leyte
Contact Person: Dr. Teresita M. Cajano
Facility Head
Tel No: (053) 322-2200
Capacity: 30 (Male)
REGION X
REGION XI
REGION - CARAGA
REGION XI
Gray, John. Men are from Mars, Women ad from Venus, 1992