Manuram K R

ENG444: Crafting Short Fiction

9th April 2018

Mikey’s Pub Marathon

The streets of Bristol hasn’t awaken yet. But you can definitely know what happens here every
night. Huddles of scraps here and there. Beer bottles rolling up and down on the roads and
pavements in the morning breeze; aluminum foils which still have stains and leftovers of last
night’s Jason Donervan kebabs and post-club drunkard munchies. The corners and edges of the
pavement are filled with puke and vomit. Yea, Bristol definitely ain’t waking up from its long
and lively nights. Mornings are for hangovers and contemplation here, and regrets of course.
Lots of regrets. But fuck it! Come the night, forgetfulness comes home to the Brizzles, starti’n
over and takin’em to these same streets for a crazy night then giving away the stage to the
mornings of forthcoming hangovers, contemplation and regrets.

Mike’s walking fast like he doesn’t have a single second to lose in his life. With each step, he
steps up his pace, walking to Sid’s home which is a couple of blocks away from the nearby
corner. He usually doesn’t wake up this early. Mornings are for work out to him. He is not your
typical Brizzle, mind. He isn’t your typical 17 year old chap either. He takes pride in it and no
one can complain about him takin pride in it. Got a well fit girlfriend; an eye for unmitigated
nerve for action guided by shrewd insightful thoughts. That’s a dangerous combination in this
side of the world and the neighborhood know it and dig it. He reaches Sid’s home and climbs
the step. He knocks the door but the door slowly opens with a slight creek noise.

“Don’t the Lonerhams ever lock their door”, he thought to himself, “they are fuckin daft to the
core but I reckon they have the marbles to at least lock their fuckin doors eh! This is the south
of Bristol we’re talkin about. The Fuzz would think at least twice to come here even if they get a
tip saying that fuckin Bin Laden was spotted with a suicide vest running around the Bemmie
streets.”

Mikey enters the Lonerhams and looks around to see if anyone’s awake. There’s not much
difference between the outside and inside of the house. It’s filled with rubbish and what not.
But Mikey knows Lonerham’s house more than they themselves. He’s disgusted, but it’s not the
first time. Sid’s room is in the first floor. Mikey climbs the stairs and enters Sid’s room. He finds
Sid visibly awake and doing something, something underneath his sheets. Sid hasn’t noticed
Mikey entering his room though.

“You wanking?” a visibly disgusted Mikey asks Sid.

Sid jumps up from his bed the moment he heard Mikey’s voice; his face reddened and his eyes
wide as a deer’s in front of a headlight. He pulls the blanket together to himself and stares at
Mike.

“Uh..uh…wh..what?”

“I asked are you wanking, Sid…?” Sid’s still staring at him evidently being not released from the
shock. “…jerking off, rubbing out, beating the kids, stroking your dick; you ever heard of it Sid?”
Mikey is definitely having fun from Sid’s embarrassment.

“I wasn’t jerking off mind eh”, Sid really doesn’t know how to lie, “I was scratching my balls.”

“Yeah Sid, caught you bang to the rights but you are definitely telling the truth innit?” This is
not the first time Mikey has seen Sid wanking out. He taught him how to jerk off. Back in
seventh grade, Sid couldn’t resist the newly appointed biology teacher Mrs. Hannah and
decided to rub one off but had no idea how to. Mikey had to teach him how to do it during the
class break in the boy’s room. But Sid was so clueless as he always is that Mikey literally had to
jerk off in front of him just to show him. Sid got traumatized by the very sight but Mikey still
gets few laughs from it. Mikey really doesn’t care about personal boundaries much. Especially
with Sid, but he did it always with love for Sid, at least in his mind. He always considered Sid as
his best friend.
“C’mon get up, let’s go to Shirley’s. Everyone’s coming there. But first we have to pick up Effy”

“Mikey its 8 in the morning”

“It’s never too early for a couple pints Sid”

“But what about your…… uh... Dad?”

“Exactly Sid. Exactly why we’re going to Shirley’s and then to The Nobody and then to Carrots
and then to Poosie Nansie’s and so on. C’mon Sid, we don’t have time to waste.”

Sid is being drawn to Mikey’s enthusiasm that he has already gotten off the bed and wore a tee
without realizing so. That’s the way Sid has always been. He’s so clueless of himself that he will
do anything what others say without an ounce of self-awareness. But he’s aware enough to
regret it later.

“I got psychoanalysis today, I have a test” Sid says while tying his shoe lace.

“Sid, mate, as my friend I have to let you know that psychoanalysis is a gert tosh mind. Bunch of
cunts trying to condition you with the holy family; completely oedipal. Freud is a hack who read
some Nietzsche but is too much of an idiot to build upon it so like every men of cuckoldry
nature, he simply resorted to a quasi-Judeo-Christian slave morality of the docile. You should
have taken the class on German expressionism instead, with me”

Sid didn’t understand a single word of what Mikey was saying. He neither knows nor studied
anything for the psychoanalysis test for today. He wasn’t even sure whether he should go to the
test or not. Now that he has heard what Mikey was saying, whom he respected a lot, he has
become more paranoid about the test. He has now completely decided to not go for the test.

While Sid is changing his clothes Mikey finds a photograph of his girlfriend Effy on Sid’s table.
Even though he knows it’s no big deal to find a photograph of Effy in Sid’s room as the three of
them have been friends from the day they can remember, he finds the presence of the
photograph a bit confusing considering what he just witnessed a while ago. He asks Sid why his
best friend has a photograph of his girlfriend and as usual Sid couldn’t give a convincing reply
without stuttering and stumbling on his words. Mikey knows Sid too long to be mad at him and
could only feel sorry for his friend’s pathetic helplessness. He knows Sid has a crush on Effy for
too long and even though Mikey and Effy have been in a relationship for over four years; Sid
has repressed his feelings for Effy and has always been a loyal friend to them. He respected Sid
for that even though he couldn’t really understand how someone could stay friends after being
disregarded in such a way. But he has always been happy that Sid remained friends with him.
And so Mikey really didn’t feel mad at him.

“Well this is fuckin mint eh? Eff’s gonna do one’s nut over this. So try to be a bit delicate about
this mate. Also lock your damn door you absolute cock up”

“Shut the fuck up Mikey like you know what the fuck I’m going through. Just don’t tell this to
Effy alright. I’m fuckin miserable already. Don’t want her to think I’m a creep as well”

“Alright Sid”, Mikey says while kneading Sid’s hair fondly, “you want a better one?” pointing to
the photograph, “I have lots of them. Some of them are pretty nice. Eh?”

“Bugger off”. Both Sid and Mikey laughs together. Sid has never been more comfortable with
anyone other than Mikey. He knew what to say when he was with Mikey. But he couldn’t
express himself with anyone else. Mike has always understood him. But Sid couldn’t
understand him always. Except the fact that he always loved and adored his dad. He realized
without any doubt that Mikey intend to honor his dad by going through a pub marathon in
Bristol’s famous breweries. His dad was a neighborhood legend; walking down the aisle with his
gangs. But Sid remembered him always as a loutish man.

Sid and Mikey are on the way to Effy’s place. They took Sid’s dad’s car which was yellow 1975
Mini Cooper. Sid’s dad was has been sleeping so much these days that sometimes he wouldn’t
even realize that his car has been taken by someone. In fact Mr. Lonerham hasn’t left his home
in three days as he still hasn’t recovered from the divorce with Sid’s mom, mostly due to
miscommunication which it seems to be running high in the Lonerhams’ blood. Sid has been
using the car in the past few days without his father’s knowledge, he considers himself justified
since his father has never asked anything about him stealing the car. Sid also had to steal
money from his dad’s wallet to fill gas in the car. Sid hasn’t felt any remorse yet as he blames
his dad for losing mom. He sees himself a lot in his dad, a miserable fuck up.
By the time they reached Effy’s place, she was already waiting for them on the pavement. Sid
specifically notices that Effy has been wearing a black skirt which he hasn’t seen before. She
looks beautiful as ever, he thought. Effy hugs Mikey, she is visibly sad but is also eager to
comfort Mikey. She asks him whether he did sleep well or eat well and how sorry she is for
Mikey’s loss. She even bothers to ask about Mikey’s step-mom and step-sister Debbie because
she was truly sympathetic to their loss and presses Mikey to tell her about how they are coping
with the news even if she knows that Mikey doesn’t like talking about his step-mom and step-
sister.

“Fucked if I know alright Ef. I don’t really care how they are doing. They made life hell for my
dad. Every day with the shouting and crying. A bit much innit. That bitch can run-off with her
retarded kid”

“Mikey!” Effy scolds him but she couldn’t cover up the sweetness in her scold. Effy can’t be mad
at Mikey today; she knows how much Mikey adored his dad. But she never understood why
Mikey hates his step-mom and step-sister. Debbie is a sweet kid, Effy remembers, a quite shy
and withdrawn kid but sweet nonetheless. She could never imagine someone detesting an
innocent kid like her. But today she tries to understand Mikey.

“Now you don’t have to be bothered by them anymore luv. Just be happy for you dad alright.
For me luv. But are you sure you wanna do this?” Effy is of course referring to the marathon
here which she found a bit odd to do especially during the funeral day. She had this back
thought in her head that it is all a cover by Mikey to cope up with his loss and so decided to
support and encourage him. But she still asked Mikey as she really doesn’t like the idea of
getting sloshed when his dad’s funeral is some couple of hours away. She reminds him of how
going to the funeral drunk is a bad idea. She wanted to say his dad wouldn’t have approved of it
but knowing his dad; whom she always thought as a goon; knew it wouldn’t work either way.
But Mikey is convinced that he will never step foot on the funeral without finishing what he
considers as his dad’s greatest achievement. He has heard the story a lot of times from his dad
and his friends. Ever since he was a kid, the story has managed to inspire him even though for
the rest of his friends except Anwar, it’s just an overblown story of a Brizzle. Anwar was too
excited when heard about the marathon that he has started preparing himself both mentally
and physically. He woke up today very early and did his morning prayers, asking Allah strength
to withstand the finest breweries of Bristol. He made sure to eat only fruits in the morning and
specifically asked his mom to make him some hot water along with the fruits right before he
went outside to exercise a little bit. His mom pleased by her son’s apparent health
consciousness vain fully hoped that Anwar is changing for good. Anwar on the other hand, after
having breakfast lies to his mom that he’s going out for a run and will come back in few hours.

Sid is driving the car so amidst all of this Effy didn’t notice him for a long time but when they
finally met eye contact she smiled with a genuine excitement as she is really happy and relieved
that Sid has been with Mikey all this time. They reaches Shirley’s but couldn’t find Anwar in
there, who they thought would have already reached considering Anwar’s excitement for the
marathon. They are waiting for Anwar to come so they can start their grand pub marathon.

“Dad started his marathon from this same one. I reckon if we stay in each pub for an hour or
two, we can easily go past eight of them lot, eh?”

“You dad went to only seven, Mikey”

“Yea, but I gotta do it proper, I have to build upon his achievements. He would have wanted me
to do that.”

Effy strokes Mikey’s hair with care, she puts a kiss on his cheek. Both they and Sid are waiting in
their car for Anwar to arrive so they can begin their grand pub marathon.