Parents Matter, Don’t They?

Parents Matter, Don’t They?

Andrew Arvidson

General Psychology 100

Colleen Bartels

May 12, 2010

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Parents Matter, Don’t They?

One of the most controversial topics within the world of psychology is that of nature vs.
nurture. It is debated intensely because while some feel that people are the way they are because
of the way they were raised, others feel as though it is due solely to their genetic makeup.
Despite the fact that many now accept that it is both nature and nurture that influence the
characteristics a person has, the influence that parents have on the way their children develop is
indisputable. The role parents play in the lives of their children is a crucial component to their
development.

The terms nature and nurture have become catchall phrases for the terms used to explore
how children develop. Nature refers to the genetic predispositions, or “animal instincts”, that
scientists believe govern the way that people behave (Powell, 2009). This term encompasses
personality traits, behavioral traits, and every other aspect of how people act. Someone who
subscribes to the idea that nature is the only governing aspect of a person’s development would
believe that no amount of involvement from a parent would have any impact at all on that child’s
growth and development. Alternatively, the phrase nurture refers to the belief that people think
and behave in certain ways because they are taught to do so (Powell, 2009). People who feel that
nurture plays a strong role in the development of a child would disregard the genetic
predispositions and instead place emphasis on the environment. The environment would include
interactions with both peers and parents, placing a greater emphasis on the role parents’ play.
The theory behind nature and nurture are in stark contrast to each other.

A review of studies has determined that heredity counts for less than 50% of variability in
the behavior of children, and while it is a key factor in fundamental aspects of personality and
behavior, it does not have a stronger influence than the choices we make (Collins, Maccoby,
Steinberg, Hetherington, Bornstein, 2000). Further, these choices often impact aspects of a
child’s development that we may not be able to visibly see. Childcare can impact the way that a
child develops not only behaviorally and personality wise, but also on the nervous system of a
child. Some of these early experience determine how the nervous system will be used – for
example, hearing, vision and others sense. Research has shown that these same experiences can
influence a child’s emotional flexibility. If parents are able to pinpoint the types of experiences
that they may require, then they are capable of developing into pleasant, flexible individuals. By
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the same token, failure to nurture a child’s needs may result in an unpleasant, difficult individual
(Greenspan, 1995).

There are specific instances in a child’s development that are influenced entirely by their
environment, and have little relation to the genetic makeup of a child. One of these is the
nutrition of a child. In a study where one group of children were given vitamin and mineral
supplements and another group was not, there were significant differences in test scores between
the two groups (Bee, 2000). For young children, it is the parents that would administer the
vitamins, and therefore it is the parents that have the potential to make a positive impact on the
development in their children. An additional example of environmental factors that influence the
development of children would be learned fears. An eleven month old infant was subject to
terrible noises whenever he attempted to pet a rat. Years later, he demonstrated fear whenever he
came into contact with anything that was white or furry (Bee, 2000). While parents cannot under
any circumstances protect their children from everything that can elicit a negative reaction, they
can provide them better experiences than a child who is left without a support system. Further,
even taking out parental involvement in this specific situation, it does reinforce the idea that the
environment plays a definitive role in the lives of children.

There is no question that different infants display different characteristics, and that these
characteristics are clear from the moment they are born. Some parents claim that their children
came out “kicking and screaming” while others claim that their children were angels to begin
with. This is indisputably a characteristic of the nature school of thought. These traits of
behavior and personality that these infants are displaying so soon after their birth are clearly
genetic. The argument that nurture can influence the further development of these children
comes into play when examining the parental response to the behaviors, especially the behaviors
of difficult children. For example, if irritable, difficult children evoke negative responses from
the parents such as hostility, criticism and coercive discipline, then this can bleed into parents’
interaction with their children. A parent’s reluctance to engage in playful behavior with their
infants can have long lasting consequences. Often, it may lead to insecurity and ambivalence in
the future, as they are uncertain about the amount of love they receive, and can negatively
influence their temperament in dealing with others (Cale, 2008).
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These findings extend beyond in the infant years. Parents who had impulsive and
overactive children elicited often developed harsher parenting styles during their toddler years.
This harsher parenting in these younger years translated to adolescents that acted out more than
their peers. In these situations, studies confirmed that it was the parenting style as opposed to the
genetic makeup of the child that played a role in this acting out behavior (Cale, 2008). There is
no question that children with difficult temperaments can evoke frustration in their parents. The
variable in these situations is the quality of parenting that emerges in response. Parents who
develop a style that is more moderate than harsh tend to have children with fewer problems later
in life. In turn, parents who respond to difficult children with harsh behavior can trigger mental
health problems. There is no question that the style of parenting has long term consequences on
the behavior of children (Cale, 2008).

It is not uncommon for parents to complain that their children fall into one of five
categories: oversensitive, self-absorbed, defiant, inattentive and aggressive (Greenspan, 1995).
For many years the blame for the actions of these children was placed on the shoulders of the
parents; somehow, their parenting style had somehow failed the needs of their children. Later
years would find parents believing that their children were the way they were due to biological
reasons, and there was nothing that the parents could do. In its wake, this theory left parents who
were frustrated at their lack of ability to do anything to reach their children. Recent years have
seen a development that is based on both of the theories: children may display certain behaviors
due to their biological make up, but parents can develop their own nurturing behaviors to meet
the needs of these children (Greenspan, 1995).

A case study was done on a child named Jessica. As a baby she was highly sensitive to
touch, sound and smell and as such, reacted negatively even when her own mother touched her.
Her discomfort extended to having her hair brushed, diaper changed, wearing anything other
than worn in cotton clothing, and even the deep sound of her father’s voice. This discomfort
with the world around her extended into each stage of development that she experienced. As a
young child she cried constantly as if though telling the world to leave her alone, and when she
went to school she frequently responded to the presence of her peers with screams and tantrums.
While clearly this speaks to the nature of this child, the parents’ positive response to Jessica can
provide a nurturing environment. They were able to determine that she responded best to a firm
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pressure and learned how to hold her exactly right to provide comfort. As she got older they
worked with her to learn to verbalize her feelings, and develop a reliance on rhythmic, soothing
games. Ultimately, they nurtured her to be able to come to terms with her environment.
Through their efforts at nurturing, and not accepting that her behavior was lost to nature, she
turned into a confident and outgoing young person (Greenspan, 1995).

It has been argued that the development of children is hinged on the unique and
continuous interplay between nature and nurture, and that this interplay occurs in the relationship
with your child. It is true that this interplay is hinged on both nature and nurture; however,
without the nurturing aspect that a parent provides a child will ultimately not be able to succeed
(Greenspan, 1995). The ideas behind the best ways to rear a child have gone through lots of
changes over the years. The most recent styles that have entered into mainstream thinking
follow the idea that parenting should encompass more nurturing and caring. Four basic styles of
how children and parents interact have been identified. Authoritarian parenting, where parents
are restrictive and punitive and offer little verbal exchange, often produces children that are
anxious about social comparison, lack initiative, and have poor communication skills.
Neglectful parenting refers to when parents are completely uninvolved in their children’s lives.
Not surprisingly, children reared with neglectful parents are not socially competent, unable to
handle independence, and show poor self control. On the other side of the spectrum is indulgent
parenting, or the parenting style where parents are involved but place few limits, believing that
warm involvement and few restrictions will lead to creative and competent children. In truth
these children frequently develop without learning respect for others, always expecting to get
what they want, and have difficulty controlling their behavior (King, 2008).

In contrast to the undesirable traits that the three former styles of parenting produce is
authoritative parenting. This style of parenting encourages children to be independent while still
placing restrictions on their behavior. Parents over a great deal of verbal communication, and
are receptive to give and take discussions, and offer their children warmth and a nurturing
environment. These children tend to be competent, self reliant and socially responsible (King,
2008). While these are summary overviews of the different types of parenting, and leaves many
specifics unanswered, it is clear that the parents do matter in regards to how children develop. If
a parent is uninvolved or too harsh in their style, the children will develop with a litany of
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insecurities and poor social skills. If a parent is warm and nurturing, there is a better chance that
the children will be responsible young adults. Whatever the outcome, it is clear that parents have
a direct impact on their development.

Not all schools of thought believe that a nurturing parent can have a strong influence on
the way that children develop. Judith Harris argues in The Nurture Assumption that a child’s
genetic makeup and their interaction with their peers plays the most important role in their
development, and that parents have little to no influence (King, 2008). Specifically, she declares
that while a child might imitate the behavior of the parents at home, it is their peers that they will
imitate in order to learn how to interact in society. Her argument is backed up by others,
specifically Sandra Scarr. Scarr suggests that “super parenting” is not necessary, and agrees that
the genotype of the child is so strong it will override environmental experiences. The only
exception to this is in a situation where there is bad parenting that leaves lasting emotional and/or
physical scars (King, 2008).

Presented with the documentation that parenting plays a role in the development of
children, it is ludicrous to suggest that parents do not matter in the overall development of
children. Even Sandra Scarr’s suggestion that above average, mediocre and even less than
exemplary parental behavior plays no role while extremely negative parental involvement –
specifically abuse – does is inherently contradictory. Pursuant to this argument it is in fact
completely logical to say that parents do matter. Parental involvement, even if it is argued as
being just extremely negative involvement, is still influential.

Over the course of many years, the theories as to what defines a good parent has
changed. Parents have been told at one time that their children should be seen and not heard, and
then later were told that their children should be spared the rod and spoiled. The debate as
whether nature, the genetic makeup of a child, or nurture, the factors in the environment
surrounding a child, plays a larger role in the overall development of a child has been wrought
with polarizing arguments. Some argue that it is solely the genetic makeup of a person that
determines all personality and other traits, and are vehement in their belief that absolutely no
outside factors play a role in development. On the other side of the discussion, some argue that
not only are environmental factors crucial in the overall growth of a child but that the role that
parents play has the largest influence of all.
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There is no question that parents are important in the lives of their children. Even the
argument that genetics play the predominant role in the development of children is flawed, as it
allows for the admission that terrible parenting has a negative impact on children. Given this
conclusion, it is a logical conclusion then that good parenting can also have an impact on
children. Parents provide the love, warmth and nurturing environment that lead to socially
competent, self reliant and socially responsible children or the type of environment that translates
into children that are anxious about social comparison, have a lack of initiative, and poor
communication skills. Ultimately, it is the choice of parents as to which style of parenting they
wish to use with their children, and who they want their children to become.
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References

Bee, Helen. (2000). Child and adolescent development. Boston: Pearson Custom Printing

Cale, Randy L. (2008). Nature vs. nurture: Does your parenting really make a difference?
Terrific Parenting. Retrieved from http://www.terrificparenting.com/parenting-
problems/parent-nature-vs-nurture.htm

Collins, Andrew W., Maccoby, Eleanor E., Steinberg, Laurence, Hetherington, Mavis E.,
Bornstein, Marc H. (2000). Contemporary research on parenting. The case for nature and
nurture. American Psychologist.

Greenspan, Stanley I. (1995). Challenging child: How to understand, raise and enjoy your
“difficult child”. Tennessee: Perseus Books Group, Inc.

King, Laura A. (2008). The science of psychology: An appreciative view. New York: McGraw
Hill.

Powell, Kimberly. (2009). Nature vs. nurture: Are we really born that way? About.com
Reference Guide. Retrieved from
http://genealogy.about.com/cs/geneticgenealogy/a/nature_nurture.htm