i am in ISKCON for past 10 years. my marriage was arranged 1.5 years back.

due to various reasons

there were few conflict between me and my wife. Now my wife and her family is demanding
divorce and they are very urgent. They have sent us legal notice regarding this. I am not interested
in taking divorce as I never thought of it.
I am unable to focus on spiritual part. I am much more devastated by this. kindly guide me.
if i does not want to take any divorce then how can i do this (even legally)
ys
Sachin

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Permalink Reply by Sudipta Roy on January 17, 2013 at 7:14pm

VOLUNTEER

Hare Krishna Sachin Prabhu. Dandavat Pranam. All glories to Srila Prabhupada
It is better to take advise of very senior mature devotee in person, rather than taking
opinion online. You can ask any senior devotee of the temple where you are connected to.
This kind of case need mature and confidential treatment. I saw in your profile that you
are from Pune, so you can talk with HG RadhesHyam Prabhu and other very senior
devotees.
your aspiring servant
hari Bol

Permalink Reply by Mohini Madhavi on January 18, 2013 at 10:23am

VOLUNTEER

Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila
Prabhupada!
Yes, it will be very nice if You come close to Devotees and associate with them and they
will tell what kind of problem is there with You and with Your wife.
Since You did not mention any problems we do not know how serious might be the
problems between You and Your wife.
If she and her parents want it then it might too big very big problem from Your side, or i
do not know, better not to guess.
Things like beating, not following the rules and regulations, not being responsible etc.
If there are no such like big reasons then please somehow can You request Your wife also
to talk with senior Devotees no matter online or alive!
please believe association will help You Sachin Prabhu, please find senior and serious
Devotees and be with them for some time.
we are hoping to hear from You soon!
Your servant,


Permalink Reply by nilesh4peace on January 20, 2013 at 5:52pm

hb;pamho,
sorry in advance for writting truth(this time it is bitter) below
you have two options, actually no options as they have taken legal action.... i am guessing
all internal discussions are over now you can allow counsellor to settle (court will also
provide you counsellor, appoint lady lawyer).
1) give her divorce as she wants* asap as she & her family have taken legal action also you
won't be responsible as she has taken initiative in the eyes of krishna. (It may look freaky
but it is good stance.)
this is as per scriptures***** don't get attached to wife (this is core thought) see atleast
you are her well wisher and she is insisting give her what she wants (something like love in
separation, just to convince your mind) .
2) oppose her simply keep taking next dates use nice lawyer, but this will make her (she
may not but bcoz of family pressure) family angry and they'll put more cases on you and
you FAMILY****** such as dowree, harassement, threatning etc (also she will take huge
amount of money that to monthly** because she will not use her brain but she will do as
her LAWYER's says*******) and your life will be helish....
- Now you have already spent 1.5 years with her, better give her what she wants in future
she may come back if destined.. (attachement will always be there in truth paper can't
make you separate)
- With divorce physically you may be drift away but always have that little respect for
each other and if you oppose both will lose remaining** respect for eachother.
- don't get in to court else kaliyuga nicely supports women whether right or wrong.
- golden stratergy : first come out of legal things and keep you and your family safe else
once she takes angry stance even you want to come out of it she will not let you out of
mess.
Adv:
- once this happens u can focus on K.C. rather than married life.
- Cut the knot dear Sachin atleast legaly now. in true love we give what beloved wants so
do it as she wants it take this as purification.
- you can try another marriage (it may take some time ) after this.
i hv observed such circumstances in my family very closely thats why ...
take care,
aspiring to serve,

Permalink Reply by Mohini Madhavi on January 22, 2013 at 11:36am

VOLUNTEER

to get divorced and think of another marriage???? What a "nice" (the word nice within
brackets meaning the worst) idea is this?!
Let's imagine, would Srila Prabhupada also say like this?
...how in painful condition we are!
-----------
Marriage karma is the most difficult karma in one's life. Difficult means many difficulties
and sufferings mixed with joys will come and because of that it washes away also our
karma if we live properly. But if we just try to escape the problem then this karma won't
be washed away. It will remain as it is.
And as a result even if one gets married second time same problem will come up. It is for
sure.
Karma never leaves its owner.
Escaping is not a solution.
THE ONLY PROBLEM IS WE LOST OUR RESPECT TO EACH OTHER AS TO A DEVOTEE FIRST,
AND AS TO A HUMAN SECOND.
Solution is one should become humble than a grass, tolerant than a tree, always respect
others and not to wait for respect to ourselves. If we follow these 4 rules we will become
dear not only to our partner but to everyone in whole world.
It is for sure. So at least one side should control himself or herself and apply that verse
into life.
Your servant,