The Sage of Nevada

Critical Edition

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 Preface

Many of my fellow companions (ra) have

taken up the task of compiling accounts of the
many sayings and events that happened in our
time when we had contact to Doug, the Sage
of Nevada (p). And so I have decided to take
up the task too, in order to give my account of
what I have heard from the Sage (p) and what
others have heard from the Sage (p). Each
saying will include the names of those who
originally heard and reported it.

- Haqman

Reliable Narrators

• Bansk´a
• Haqman
• Alien
• Legiter
• Uere
• Wageslave

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 Sayings

[1.0 The Truth] Doug (p) said, “Whoever finds the

meaning of these sayings will not taste death”
[reported by Bansk´a]

[1.1 Christ is the Father] Doug (p) said, “Is Christ

not the Father? Are we one in Christ in essence and
not person?” [r. Bansk´a]

[1.2 The Weak Foundation] Doug (p) said, “Why do

you say to me, ‘teacher, teacher’ and do not do what I
tell you? You are like a fool who builds his house on
sand.” [r. Bansk´a]

[1.3 Far From Jesus] Doug (p) said, “Are you so far
from Jesus that you do not see the miracles taking
place every day? Are you so far from the Holy Spirit
that you do not see that he has gifts for you?” [r.
Bansk´a]

[1.4 You Were Not Aware] One came to him and

asked him if Christ is God. Doug (p) sent him away
and did not answer him. Later he said to him, “I did
not answer you before because you were not aware. If
you were aware of the Gnostic scriptures, you would
not have needed to ask.” [r. Bansk´a]
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[1.5 Faith and Reason] He said, “A man reasoned
himself out of faith. No man can reason himself into
faith. He that has ears to hear, let him hear.”
[r. Bansk´a]

[b] It came to pass that in the days of the Sage’s

(p) ministry, a man from the New World
approached in order to seek help after trying to
apply reason to faith. The Sage (p) said to the
man, “You reasoned yourself out of faith; there’s
no way of reasoning yourself into faith” and “the
foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of
men, and God has chosen the foolish things to
confound the wise” and the man fell onto his
knees and praised God for the wisdom that had
fell upon his ears. [r. Haqman]

[1.6a The Roots of Islam] Doug (p) said to his

disciples, “Do you see those Arabs? They are not from
Arabia, but from Rome.” [r. Bansk´a]

[b] I heard the Sage of Nevada (p) say, “It

(Islam) was a false religion created to
exterminate Christianity that wouldn’t bow to
the Roman Papacy of the face of the earth” and

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 that “Muslims are [ordered] to protect Roman
Catholics and kill Christians and Jews”
[r. Haqman]

[c] It has been reported from many of the

disciples that the Sage (p) had given them an
image (concerning the catholic church’s
involvement in the advent of Islam). [r. Haqman]

[d] I asked the Sage (p) “Do you know who

poisoned the former Jesuit?” to which he (p) said
to me “I don’t think that information is ever going
to be available on the internet”, “would it be in the
Vatican library” to which he (p) said to me “Still
probably not, maybe Heaven’s library”
[r. Haqman]

[1.7 All Sins are Covered] Doug (p) said, “My

Father and your Father, my God and your God, covers
all the sins of man. [r. Bansk´a]

[1.8a The Church Fathers] Doug (p) said, “Woe to

you, Catholics and Orthodox, hypocrites! The church
fathers will not lead you into all truth.”
[r. Bansk´a]

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 [b] I heard the Sage (p) say: “What you really
ought to do is take the interpretation of the Holy
Spirit. The Church Fathers aren’t going to lead
you into all truth; It’s the Holy Spirit which does
that” [r. Haqman]

[1.9 Parable of the Crabs] Doug (p) said, “Two

crabs were walking. One said to the other, ‘You walk
ungracefully; walk straight.’ He said, ‘First do this
yourself, and I will follow.”’[r. Bansk´a]

[1.10a The Earth ] Some Catholics came to him,

saying the earth is round. He said, “You are wrong,
because you know neither the scriptures nor the power
of God. O you who lie about the shape of the earth,
and blaspheme the work of God!” He turned to his
disciples and said, “Watch. Be wise as serpents and
innocent as doves.” [r. Bansk´a]

[b] I heard the Sage (p) say to someone that, “the

earth is not a ball, its a disc” and that “the earth
can't be a ball if its established on pillars”
[r. Haqman]

[1.11 The Serpent] Doug (p) said, “The serpent

revealed the true nature of the material world.”
[r. Bansk´a]

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[1.12 Christ is Distinct] And he said, “Jesus is lesser
than the Father. They are two Gods, not one God.”
[r. Bansk´a]

[1.13 The Flesh] Doug (p) said, “The flesh does not
cease trying to destroy the soul.” [r. Bansk´a]

[1.14 Yaldabaoth] He said, “Woe to the Catholics and

Orthodox, because they say the Lord is the demiurge.
The Lord is not Yaldabaoth.” [r. Bansk´a]

[1.15 Conception of the World] Doug (p) said, “The

heavens and the earth were conceived in sexual
immorality, and that in itself is the root of all sin and
iniquity.” [r. Bansk´a]

[1.16a The Nicene Creed] One came to Doug (p) and

said, “The Catholics and Orthodox say they received
the Nicene Creed from the Apostles.” He said to him,
“They lie. They did not receive it from the Apostles
but from Eusebius.” [r. Bansk´a]

(however, other reports read slightly different):

[b] The Sage (p) told me “I think it’s pretty

safe to say the Nicene Creed was not an

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 interpretation given to us by the Holy Spirit,
but rather a fleshy disfiguring of Eusebius’
original creed” [r. Alien]

[1.17 Did Not Come to Judge] Doug (p) said, “I do

not judge anyone who hears my words and does not
keep them, because I did not come to judge the world,
but to save it.” [r. Bansk´a]

[1.18 Mosquitoes] Doug (p) said, “When a mosquito

is driven away from a fox, seven other mosquitoes
come and bleed it to death. The last state of the fox is
worse than the first.” [r. Bansk´a]

[1.19 Other gods] I heard the Sage (p) say that “the
Egyptian gods are real; How can God judge that
which doesn’t exist?” [r. Haqman]

----

[2.0 Humility] I once heard the Sage (p) say, “I’m but
a man on the internet, struggling with my own sins, I
couldn’t even begin to advise you on what kind of
things you should be doing but what I can tell you is
that you need to act on the word of God, not just know
about it” [r. Haqman]

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[2.1 Examples] Later that day (in 2.1), the Sage (p)
and his discples were walking when they came across
a man from the land of reason. The man was
preaching that God can be explained through
examples, similar to the ones we tell to children.
God’s Sage (p) was angered and lifted up his (p) voice
and said “You cannot compare God to something that
is imaginary”
[r. Haqman]

[2.2 Lies from Catholics] One day, a Catholic man

came unto the Sage (p), claiming that lies were being
spread about Jesuits and so they blamed him. The
Sage (p) replied “I have not spread any lies about the
Jesuits. They are in fact lying themselves about the
shape of the earth – spreading the heliocentric
blasphemy, and hiding the truth of the geocentric
model. That’s a matter of history”. The Catholic man,
in a fit of rage and anger, left to never be seen again.
[r. Legiter]

[2.3 Boogers]1 There was a debate in the marketplace

between two doctors who argued whether or not
boogers had any health benefits. God’s Sage (p) heard
them and said, “There are [many/several] health

1 Many of the companions agreed that this saying was an isolated case and not meant to be taken as a general medical
opinion

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benefits to eating boogers” and the two doctors
conceded to the Sage (p). [r. Haqman]

[2.4 Body of Christ] I heard Doug (p) say, “A schism

and reformation in a Church is different than being in
a different sect.” and “We’re all parts in the body of
Christ” [r. Alien]

[2.5 The Companions] I was unsure on my status of

being a companion and so asked Bansk´a, “Who do
we consider a companion of the Sage (p)?” to which
he told me “Anyone who knew the Sage (p) while he
sojourned among us” and I became assured.
[r. Haqman]

[2.6 The Gnostic Scriptures] I heard Doug (p) say,

“What people say about the Bible and the Gnostic
scriptures is wrong. The Bible and the Gnostic
scriptures are in full agreement” [r. Bansk´a]

[2.7a Gospel of Mary] I heard the Sage (p) say, “The

Gospel of Mary Magdalen is legitimate” [r. Haqman]

[b] The Sage (p) went through each verse from the
Gospel of Mary Magdalen to demonstrate that it
never contradicted with the Bible [r. Uere]

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[2.9 God’s race] I asked Doug (p), “What race is
God?” and he said “Not black”. So, I asked, “How can
one know that God isn’t black?” to which he said
“Because God said, I am what I am, and not, I is what
I is” [r. Bansk´a] & [r. Haqman]
[2.10 On Wisdom] I heard the Sage (p) say “Wisdom
is a woman” [r. Haqman]

[2.11 Spirit of Suicide] I heard Doug (p) say, “It was

the Gospel of Thomas that healed me from the Spirit
of Suicide” [r. Alien]

[2.12 You are what you eat]2 Once I saw a group of

papists (Catholics) praying and reciting the Our Father
prayer (give us this day, our daily bread) and they
prayed facing the sun. Then the Sage (p) asked them
“Do you eat to live or live to eat? Why do you pray
for carnal things which cannot save you?” One of
them said “The Lord Jesus told us to pray in this
manner in order to be different from the hypocrites”.
The Sage (p) replied “O ye Papists are the real
hypocrites, had you truly known Jesus, you know that
you should not ask for bread but for the Word ‘Give
us this day our daily Word’ meaning the Scripture.
That is what you must eat, for, you are what you eat.”
The Papist was dumbfounded by the Sage’s (p)
2 For myself. I am unsure as to whether or not this report is legitimate as the narrator did not provide any authentic
sayings.

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answer and then asked “Are you suggesting that the
food for which we pray for and eat must be the very
copies of the Scriptures?” to which the Sage (p) said
“Indeed” [r. Wageslave]

[2.13 Difference] I heard the Sage (p) say “There is a

difference between teaching and preaching”
[r. Haqman]

[2.14 Constantine] I saw the Sage (p) say “Did you

know, that the people under Constantine banned house
Churches?”
[r. Haqman]

[2.15 Monks] I heard the Sage (p) say “I don’t know

what a monk is” [r. Haqman]

[2.16 Routines] I heard the Sage (p) say “Read

Matthew chapter 5 each day” [r. Haqman]

[2.17 Authority] I heard the Sage (p) say that “The

Church doesn’t have authority to add or Change the
law Christ gave” [r. Haqman]

[2.18 Denominations] I asked the Sage (p) “What

denomination are you?” to which he said to me “I am
actually a demiurge gnostic” and so it was then that all

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of the companions promptly followed his example and
become demiurge gnostics too. [r. Haqman]

[2.19 On Shirk] I heard Alien say, “Surely,

worshipping Doug (p) is shirk!” to which I said, “We
do not worship the Sage of Nevada (p). We merely
venerate him, it is purely out of respect”. [r. Haqman]

----

[3.0 On NASA] I was told by Ending that Doug (p)

said, "One of the founding members of NASA was a
student of Aleister Crowley and NASA is essentially
one of crowleys bastard children, just like scientology
and disney animation." [r. Alien]

[3.1 Angels] I heard the Sage (p) tell a man, “angels

turn into reptilian, draconian type humanoids, some
literal dragons when they choose to fall by drinking
human blood” [r. Haqman]

[3.2 On Icons] I observed the Sage (p) in a

conversation with a Catholic who tried to defend the
practice of idolatry. The Sage (p) remarked
sarcastically that, “this was pretty woke”.
[r. Haqman]

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[3.4 The Pyramids] I heard the Sage (p) say, “demons
didn't have anything to do with the creation of the
pyramids” and “aliens didn't make the pyramids”
[r. Haqman]

[3.5 World War Two] I heard the Sage (p) say, “I

grew up thinking america was the good guy and
germany was the bad guy in WW2, to thinking
germany was the good guy and everyone else was the
bad guy in ww2 into realizing there was good or bad
guy in ww2, that everyone was tricked by satan into
killing eacnother” [r. Haqman]

[3.6 The Sprits] I remember the Sage (p) was having

an argument with Gudru about signs and how they can
attract or repel evil spirits. After getting angry at the
Gudru’s imcompitence, the Sage (p) said, “You really
don’t have a clue how the metaphysics of the spiritual
world of wickedness works, do you?”
[r. Haqman]

[3.7 The Birth of Jesus] I heard the Sage (p) say,

“Jesus was born on Christmas” [r. Haqman]

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[3.8 On the Apostles] I heard the Sage (p) say, “Paul
rebukes Peter over false doctrine” and “James judges
Peter because James is his superior” [r. Haqman]

[3.9 On the Nazis] I heard the Sage (p) say, “The nazi
hierarchy was infested with jesuits” [r. Haqman]

[3.10 Son of God] I heard the Sage (p) teach, “By

receiving Christ you receive the power to be a son of
God” [r. Haqman]

[3.11 Babylon] I heard the Sage (p) rebuke Gudru for

thinking Babylon was in America by saying, “what if
the whore of babylon was really just Babylon, Iraq?”
[r. Haqman]

[3.12 Martin Luther] The Sage (p) said, “Martin

Luther went from throwing out the Eucharist because
it was a Catholic tradition to stating its importance
and scriptural integrity later in his life in the book
table talk he had the same attitude for the book of
Revelation until he started studying Daniel”
[r. Haqman]

[3.13 Healing and Demons] I heard the Sage (p) say,

“faith healing is real” and “every believing christian

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has the power and authority to drive out demons in his
name” [r. Haqman]

[3.14 On Fathers] I heard the Sage (p) say, “men

have teenagers that are rebelilous and sadly whore
themselves because the dads let them have pop music”
[r. Haqman]

[3.15 Spanking] The Sage (p) taught that, “God

spanks you with a rod of correction” [r. Haqman]

[3.16 Honesty] I heard the Sage (p) say, “I often

admit that I'm wrong and have faults” [r. Haqman]

[3.17 Repentance] The Sage entered a town that was

previously unknown to him, the first words he uttered
were, “turn away from wicked ways” and that “you
shouldn't swear” [r. Haqman]

[3.18 Swearing] The Sage (p) once taught us of a

story concerning someone at his Church, “There's a
man at my church, very dedicated man of God, he
talks about when he hears swear words, even out of
context, that its like a spear is stabbing into his spirit”
[r. Haqman]

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[3.19a Last teaching] When the Sage of Nevada (p)
was about to depart from us and enter unto real life, he
gave one last teaching and said to us, “I leave you two
things, and if you follow them you shall not stray
from the path of the righteous, these two things are the
Nag Hamadi, and my earliest followers”[r. Haqman]

[b] I heard Doug (p) say, “these two things are the
Nag Hamadi, and my son” [r. Bansk’a]

[c]3 I heard Doug (p) say, “I leave you one person,

Alien, whom you must follow to the uttermost.”
[r. Alien]

----

[4.0 Organised religion] I once observed a

conversation between Kaedin and the Sage (p).
Kaedin said, “Large organized religion is just a way to
control people and get them to pay you”, and the Sage
(p) said, “I agree” [r. Haqman]

[4.1 Killer Popes] The Sage (p) said, “Pope Innocent

III killed more christians, in one day, than every
Roman Emporer put together” [r. Haqman]

3 It is reported from Banska that "Alien is the one who betrayed Doug (p). Do not trust word he speaks. He
will be called the lowest in the world hereafter."

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[4.2 Divinity of Christ] The Sage (p) once said in his
classroom, “Christ isn’t God, he is the Son of God”
[r. Haqman]

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