Honestly? Here's what I think ÒloveÓ is.

You know how when you get drunk you get nicer?
Like I'll get drunk and decide some annoying girl is my new best friend.
I'll smoke a hundred cigarettes with her and bond like we're at camp and then
... when I sober up,
she just seems annoying again and I'm stuck having brunch with her.
You know?

CATHERINE I do.

AVERY Drunk is your body under the influence of alcohol and "loveÓ is your body under the
influence of hormones.
Booze, sex hormones... they do the same thing which is dupe you into thinking average people
are great.

CATHERINE What a grim philosophy.

AVERY I'm a Bio major. Evolutionarily? It makes total sense.

The love drunk lasts about six months. Just enough time to get knocked up and trapped.

I just don't understand, tell me, is this normal? Is this healthy?

Because they, they…love their lives.
They are smiling, laughing, happy people.
Those faces, those photos are on the cover of my Teenage Spiritual Guide from Youth Group.
Those faces…not this face.
Look at this face. Why isn’t it on your book?
(​Beat)​ I’m sorry but this feeling of being saved…this knowing that at least I will be saved…it’s making
me sick.
If this is what You went through, I understand suffering. But why torture me?
Because they tortured You? T
hen take me now. Take me right now. It seems death on a cross, a few hours of suffocation is nothing next
to four years of looks, and smirks, and “fuck off’s"
I don’t know, Lord. You tell me.
Maybe that’s why Your teenage years are such a mystery. You didn’t want anyone to know.

(​Beat.)​ Will You respond? I already know the answer to that, but I wonder…will I ever see Your face?
What will it feel like looking in Your eyes…or any man’s eyes? The reassurance of “It’s all right” from a
voice you can actually hear. Nothing imagined or blindly trusted. His kiss…what would he taste like…?

Fuck!​ It’s just as hard to talk to you now that you can’t talk back. I can’t ever say the right thing to
you. ​You’re just so . . . not there, aren’t you.​ You always ignore me. I know even if you can hear me
right now, you’re not paying attention. You never . . . Why don’t I matter to you? What do you want
from me?!! Maybe you just want to be left alone.
Well, that’s what I’ll do then. I’m sorry I disturbed your death bed you​ ​selfish fucking bastard! You
self-centered egotistical, pompous fucking bastard! I don’t care what you want! I hope you die! I
hope you fucking die real soon! ​You can fucking rot and be eaten by worms! I hope fucking worms eat
you! Worms with big fucking teeth! And rats and flies and vultures! ​I hope vultures dig you up and take
you out of the casket and fly away with you! You fuck!

(Pause)

I miss you.

I’ve always missed you. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to die. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Oh, Christ, I’m so
sorry. Please don’t die.​ You’re so small. ​Please, ​Daddy.