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Wordiness and Redundancy (Grammer Section 8)
Wordiness and Redundancy (Grammer Section 8)
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https://blog.prepscholar.com/wordiness-and-redundancy-in-sat-writing
Explain wordiness.
Explain redundancy.
Sentence improvement questions often repeat the same phrases that signal a wordiness error.
Here are phrases that often appear on the SAT Writing section in their wordy and concise versions.
The concise options are not only shorter but also substituting the wordy options for the concise
options makes the sentence read better. Here is an example of a sentence with a wordy phrase:
Being that she was driven to succeed as a writer, Joyce studied great authors.
This is the corrected version of the same sentence:
Because she was driven to succeed as a writer, Joyce studied great authors.
Relying on your ear to determine what "sounds right" can help with wordiness questions. However,
following the rule that the shorter grammatically correct sentence is right will always enable you to
correctly answer wordiness questions.
In spite of him being the youngest one in the kindergarten class, he was the tallest.
Here is the sentence after we substitute the concise phrase:
Although he was the youngest one in the kindergarten class, he was the tallest.
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In addition to the common wordy phrases, gerunds also tend to signal wordiness errors on the SAT
Gerunds are verbs that function as nouns and end in "ing". Examples of gerunds include playing,
jumping, and singing. Keep in mind that not all "ing" words are gerunds. Participles, verbs that act as
adjectives, can end in "ing", too. Check out this example of a sentence with a participle that ends in
"ing":
Now that we know the difference between a gerund and a participle, let's see how gerunds create
wordiness errors. Take a look at this example of a wordy sentence with a gerund:
Every year, tens of thousands of students apply to the most selective colleges, with the gaining of
admission to these schools being their goal.
The gerunds in the sentence are "gaining" and "being". To fix the wordiness error, we have to make
the phrase "with the gaining of admission to these schools being their goal" more concise. Here is the
corrected version of the sentence:
Every year, tens of thousands of students apply to the most selective colleges in order to gain
admission to these schools.
There are multiple ways to correct the original sentence, but you should know that the corrected
version is a better sentence. Why? It is more concise and it is grammatically correct. That's the recipe
for a right answer in the sentence improvement subsection.
Gerunds often signal a wordiness error, but how should you fix a wordy sentence with a gerund?
Justin is a huge fan of gymnastics because of it being a sport that combines artistry, athleticism,
strength, and acrobatics.
The gerund in the sentence is "being". To fix the wordy sentence, let's replace the gerund with a
pronoun and a verb:
Justin is a huge fan of gymnastics because it is a sport that combines artistry, athleticism,
strength, and acrobatics.
The gerund "being" was replaced by the pronoun "it" and the verb "is". The corrected version should
read better to you and it is a more concise sentence.
While gerunds often signal a wordy sentence, keep in mind that gerunds should be used in certain
instances.
Gerunds can be used correctly in certain idioms, to maintain parallel structure, or to indicate a way or
method of doing something. This is an example of a sentence with a gerund being used to indicate a
method of doing something:
I got a perfect score on the SAT by following the advice in the PrepScholar article about how to
get a 2400.
The gerund is used to reveal how I got a perfect score. Let's consolidate the information about
wordiness into a strategy for correctly answering wordiness questions on the SAT.
Always choose the answer that is the most concise grammatically correct sentence. Substitute the
concise versions of wordy phrases. Replace gerunds with nouns (or pronouns) and verbs, when
possible. If you see a gerund in a sentence, make sure it is being used correctly.
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Try to employ these tips on questions that appeared on the SAT Writing section.
Explanation: Here, the phrase “of believing that the ship was unsinkable” is the reason why people
were unprepared for the sinking of the Titanic. Even if the underlined phrase sounds fine to you, we
want to see if we can make the sentence more concise without creating a grammatical error.
You should have noticed the gerund “believing”. Let’s try to replace the gerund with a noun or
pronoun + a verb. Who believed the ship was unsinkable? The people. They believed that. So,
answer choices C and D are the only ones that change the gerund to the noun + verb form.
However, in answer choice D, after “they believed”, the phrase “the unsinkable nature of the ship” is
more wordy than the phrase after “they believed” in choice C, “that the ship was unsinkable”.
Because we want the most concise grammatically correct version of the sentence, the answer is C.
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Explanation: Again, the phrase may not appear to have a grammatical error, but you should pick the
most concise grammatically correct version of the underlined phrase. You should notice the gerund
“revealing”. Can we change the gerund to the noun (or pronoun) + VERB form?
Look at the answer choices. We can. The phrase “because of supposedly revealing” can be changed
to “because it was supposed to reveal”. The pronoun “it” refers to celadon porcelain. There is no
grammatical error in choice E and that version is more concise than the original. The correct answer
is E.
Redundancy
Redundancy means using a word or phrase that repeats what is already stated or implied in the
sentence. Here is an example of a sentence with a redundancy error:
Margaret participates in an annual marathon to raise money for ulcerative colitis each year.
The word "annual" means that the marathon takes place every year. Therefore, the phrase "each
year" is redundant and unnecessary.
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Redundancy on the SAT
On SAT redundancy questions, typically a phrase is added that is unnecessary given other
words/phrases in the sentence. Take a look at this example:
Because the speaker was not using a microphone, his voice was inaudible and could not be heard.
The word "inaudible" means could not be heard. Therefore, the phrase "and could not be heard" is
unnecessary. This is the corrected version of the sentence:
Because the speaker was not using a microphone, his voice was inaudible.
Just like in our discussion of wordiness, the most concise grammatically correct sentence is the right
answer.
Here are some tips to help you correctly answer redundancy questions.
Strategy
Make sure that all underlined words and phrases are necessary for the sentence to maintain its
meaning. Check to see that underlined phrases or words don't reiterate what has already been said.
Here's some helpful information to help you solve both wordiness and redundancy questions.
If you see a commonly used wordy phrase underlined in the sentence improvement subsection,
replace the phrase with the concise version of the phrase.
Gerunds often signal a wordiness error. If a gerund is underlined, make sure that the gerund cannot
be replaced with the noun + verb formation.
If a phrase is merely providing the definition of an adjective in the sentence, then that phrase is
redundant and should be eliminated from the sentence.
#4: The Most Concise Grammatically Correct Answer Choice is the Right Answer
This is the basic rule that should guide you when answering sentence improvement questions. If a
sentence does not have an identifiable grammar error, then make sure that the sentence cannot be
written more concisely.
Apply these strategies to some realistic practice questions that I created for you.
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Additional SAT Writing Practice Questions
1. Psychologists do not agree about what is the definition of happiness and how to measure it.
2. Even though she had just recovered from a severe bout of influenza, Julie did not want to miss her
upcoming basketball game because of her being an extremely competitive athlete.
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E. in spite of her being an extremely competitive athlete.
3. John told his parents that he hit his little brother inadvertently and did not do so intentionally.
C. inadvertently.
4. Because Joel works such tremendously long hours is the reason why he is unable to see his
friends as often as he would like.
A. Because Joel works such tremendously long hours is the reason why
C. Being that Joel work such tremendously long hours is the reason why
D. Joel works such tremendously long hours because the reason why
Answers: 1. B, 2. D, 3. C, 4. B
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