20th of March

Today is the first day of spring, when both sides are equal; day and night have the same length
and a cosmic symmetry occurs. Today is marked in the calendar as 20th March, the day that I
finally began writing again. I don’t know if this will be ever published, but I need to get my
gears going, so from now on I will write every day for an undetermined amount of days, months,
years or eternities.

For the past month I have been stoned out of my mind with great amounts of Cannabis sativa or
how common folk call it, “marijuana”. I like getting stoned on weed but it’s true when they say
it’s a motivation killer.

I smoked my last remaining joint in the morning, I think at about 10 AM. Actually I smoked only
half of it. Afterwards I ate some pastry, an apple strudel. I noticed that weed kicks off better
when I am in Lent. I am keeping the Easter Lent, but not for religious purposes. I like to keep my
body clean. I actually don’t eat meat, nor do I get drunk or drink any commercial alcoholic
beverages. They’re all shit. Good liquor is made with passion, something that you will not likely
see in industrial machine agitators. I only drink homemade wine, without sulfites and other
poisons. As for meat, I actually only eat fish meat, and only if it’s fished. I don’t eat fish that’s
raised in an environment that’s other than its own. You can taste the confusion the fish left over
in its meat. It gives a sour taste off.

I have to start abstaining from using that goddamn social network. It perplexes me when I notice
myself that the first thing I do when I start my browser is entering this blue hell of a page, with
all kinds of shit people say scattered all over the place. Double click browser. Push F. Select
Facebook.com. Push Enter. Welcome to the realm of no privacy, the new reality, the new
Universe, the new God. I think my generation was the last one that still relished privacy, more or
less. Nowadays almost everyone tells everyone on their social pages what sloppy dinner they
have in front of them, how frustrated they are about their dog not learning to sit, how happy they
show off to be but aren’t. I see hypocritical love stories from whores that get their cunts wet from
the smallest hint of interest a stranger offers them, the kind of fellow that fits their bill with a
burned out 20 years BMW and cheap cans of energy drink thrown on the back seat.

Yes, these are the times of derision, mockery. Everyone pretends to be perfect. The illusion
bought their souls. I read an article a while back. It said that if the average Facebook user cut off
the time spent on the social platform, he would buy the time needed to read 200 books in a year.
If you read you start knowing things and who wants to know things? The average human in a
civilized modern society wants shit shoved up his throat. He willingly wants that man, I know it
and you know it. Give them bread and circus time, as Juvenal said two thousand years ago.
Today, at least in the country and society I am living, the fools have football and watered down
beer, but this is a matter I won’t rant upon yet. There is still time left for us to talk.
I ate, smoked the other half of the joint and played some strategy game from Blizzard called
Heroes of the Storm. I also need to lay off this small distraction. To be honest, I am a little proud
of myself that I learned to play it with its different characters but that’s just my Ego talking.
Something I have still not learned to silence out completely but partially. I think.

I took a shower and dressed. I had to have a record signed and stamped from my former
employer, from the time I worked as a journalist. Tomorrow I need to get my employment file to
the Unemployment Office in order to get my benefits. Also, I had to get to my masters class at
four o’clock. I left my house, closed the porch door, crossed the street and proceeded to
hitchhike.

After five minutes, a car stopped, a rusty Fiat. He asked me where I was going; I told him to
Craiova. I hoped in, said hello and immediately wanted to read from my kindle e-book. The guy
asked me if I was a monk after seeing my almost a year old beard. I replied no, but that I
appreciated the monastic lifestyle. The poor dude was unlettered but I never judged people by the
way they talked. As long as they are nice people I never judge. Even if they aren’t, I still don’t
judge.

He engaged me in a stereotypical conversation I often found myself in as a passenger most times

I hitchhike, about “how nothing is ever right in the world and that money are hard to come by”.
That small talk, which is meant to let the time slide more quickly. He couldn’t stop complaining.
I told him that he should look at the sky when he was having bad times or feeling ill. I pointed to
the blue sky patched with vaporous clouds, most of them white, a few gray stray ones on the
horizon but with no possible threat of rain. I told him to be happy when he looks at this jewel,
many have lost the opportunity. For the time being, that is.

He asked what my background was; I told him I have a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and that
now I’m on my last year of a Master’s degree in Contemporary Philosophy. The guy was
impressed. He couldn’t really define what “contemporary” and “philosophy” meant but the “big”
words stroke a sentiment of awe and intense intelligence coming from my behalf; Hilarious.

This man was heading actually farther than my destination; he was going to the next town after
my stop. The town is named Filiasi. He told me that he needed some papers for the new car he
brought, a Ford Transit van, and that he was tired for all the things he needed to get it licensed
with plates. Not to say that he also confessed that he shouldn’t have bought the car, it being a rip-
off, and that this wasn’t the first time he had made financial mistakes by being on the spur of the
moment. Some people never learn I guess.

He then mentioned drugs. I like talking on the topic of drugs, because I have done and am still
doing drugs, even if I don’t apply this term myself on the substances I ingest or smoke. He said
that if he knew I had drugs on me at that time he would stop the car and throw me out. I asked
him what he knew about drugs. He stuttered a bit and then I asked him what his thoughts on
weed were; I asked him what he knows about it. “Well, it creates hallucinations, it drives you
mad and you go rabid”. You know the same old answers you would get from an everyday
brainwashed-by-society Joe. I told him that in the USA alone tobacco kills 480 000 people and
alcohol a number of 88 000. I then proceeded to ask him how many deaths he thinks weed has
taken. He shrugged and I told him that the number was 0. Not for this year, not for last year, but
for the whole history of Cannabis usage which spans over several millennia. I also told him that
Psilocybin mushrooms make you smarter if you know how to use them but then he smiled with a
blank stare that gave away the feeling that this guy’s brain couldn’t handle the new info that I
tried to feed him. His brain is too calcified to store anything new, like most people’s brains are. It
is set only on the basic: wife, kids, lose your health and wellbeing for money, imagine that you
are happy and die; social engineering at its best. The guys did a marvelous job on him.

He dropped me off near the University. I gave him the money for the ride and wished him a nice
day and success on getting those license plates. I entered the building. My former employer was
a teacher of mine with whom I’ve worked in the past; as a journalist for his paper I also got
editing jobs for some books. I learned the tricks of the trade, not being interested in any
pecuniary offerings most of the time. 67 years old, green eyed with an aquiline nose. I never
trusted aquiline noses; avaricious fellows.

He signed my record and started to ask me how I was doing nowadays. “Pretty fine”, I replied.
“Mihai, I am not really a sane person” he told me. “Who of us is ever sane?” I said. He opened
the drawer by his side and showed two monographs. “These are the last two I wrote for the
University and now I am working on another two. One is for the city and the other is a revised
one for our prized institution”. He thought he was talking big, but all this was a bunch of
nonsense, petty scribbles for the locals, citations and statements. Statistics that were made from
field research, probably altered like most of the things you can find in this country.

I asked him if he ever wrote about poverty. He nodded. I then asked him if he ever slept on the
streets, just to know how it would be like, how to live in complete poverty. What do you think he
answered? Of course he didn’t sleep a day of his life in the slums. I told him about my
experience in Rome where I slept only a mere seven days on the streets, playing guitar with a
friend on the Roman alleys, having the instrument stolen in our sleep and afterwards begging for
the ticket money to get back home. He was surprised, curious and asked me if I am willing to
give an interview where I can tell the whole experience. I told him I’ll think about it.

I left for my class hours two levels above. I started reading Henry Miller’s “Tropic of Cancer” as
I waited for the teacher; cunts, booze, Parisian oddities. A quarter after four some other professor
of mine entered the classroom and advised me that his colleague “can’t attend the class and I
should go home”. I was the only one out of my class that attended. I told him that now I would
be coming more often because I was unemployed and hence I had more time. “I am sorry you
lost your job” he said. I said “I’m not”.
I left the University at about four thirty and decided to go by foot to the other part of town where
I would hitchhike again for home. The weather was really nice today, a nice 66 degrees warm
air. The sun was shining and the sky was painted with surreal clouds. I have brown tinted lenses
that react only to sunlight. Indoors the lens is clear and outside and in the sun they go brown,
depending on the time of day. Thus, I see the colors in another way most of the time.

I saw many students, freshman going back to their housings, youth bathing in the sun. Not a care
in the world for the moment. Raw, blood pumping through their bodies giving all of them a
wicked smile that even Apollo despises on this nice Monday. But this is just for a moment.

When I was halfway where I was going I heard a douche shout “Look at the bitch” from a
running red Volkswagen. Why should one do that? Why should you insult a woman on this fine
day; why should anyone insult someone on the street on such a sunny day? I agree that this is
common but really, would you like to be insulted in a public space while basking in the sun?
Would they like to get a beating in a public space?

I got to the hitchhiking spot. This is also a bus station and a dozen of people were waiting for the
bus. I am one of the lucky types when it comes to travelling by this means. I think a couple of
minutes passed and a lady stopped. I got into the car, I tried making conversation. I think she was
one of those paranoid broads that think I am interested in her and that I want to hit on her. Worst
case scenario would be rape, but I’m not into that. I continued reading Henry Millers novel.

We arrived in my hometown but I did not have a smaller bill to give her so I asked if she could
change. She didn’t have either so I stopped at a shop, bought a bottle of still water and gave the
lady her ride money.

I decided that it would be a shame if I would go home at this hour and decided I should go and
read a bit in the park. An odd guy walks around the park every day. It seems like he is inspecting
it. I know of him that he used to work as a security guard for a bank here in town, though he is
the type that should break into pieces if you slapped him even once. Maybe that’s why he’s not
working there anymore. I finished my water and started heading home.

I arrived back home, ate and gave a haircut to my father. I promised him the other day I would
do it. After this I listened to some John Frusciante and began writing.

My thoughts are going wild in my head now. I feel really good laying my thoughts on paper.
Well, virtual paper. That’s enough for now.
21st of March

I tried getting up at the alarm sound at 07:00 AM. I panicked when I woke up; the sound of the
alarm is a strident and unpleasant one. Obviously, I stalled it one hour, then another and I finally
managed to wake up at 10. I dreamt that some people I know were giving me some money, a 50
lei banknote. I think we were in Craiova. Just now I was looking on the internet what this means,
when you dream that someone gives you some money. I learned that this implies, by some
psychologists, a reorientation on the path of attaining success and that I will strive to fulfill my
dreams. This makes me laugh, of course. Who knows what kind of demented side of my
personality this symbolizes and, generally, shrinks are wrong most of the time, mainly because
you end up finding the bad ones. As for the good ones I don’t know, you tell me ‘bout them.

I got up, did my morning toilet and got dressed. I went to the Unemployment Office but my
neighbor, the clerk, wasn’t there. Her name is Tania and I was in high school with her kid, Justin.
She left to another nearby city with business related to work as I understood. She told me on the
phone that she would be back at around 11:30 AM. I decided not to go back home and went to
the park for a read.

As opposed to yesterday, the sky was clear. Not a cloud in sight. This was the same for all of the
day today. It kind of saddened me, I like the sky to be animated, not blank blue and sterile.

At 11:20 I decided to head back to the Office. She called to tell me that she was going to be
another hour late, so I headed home to eat lunch. Today I ate a zucchini soup followed by some
cabbage and soy meat. I saw some mashed potatoes but I phoned mother to ask her if she put any
milk in it. Unfortunately she did, but this was cooked for my brother and his wife and kid.

I drank half a glass of red wine and spoke with my father outside a bit until he left with my
mother to the bank. Whilst I was basking in the sun on the porch my cat wanted desperately to
play with me. It reminded me of one of Montaigne’s essays, where he was asking himself “am I
playing with the cat or is the cat playing with me?” That is a good question but I will likely not
find the answer anytime soon. He didn’t either, if I recall this was his last essay written.

I think the cat is in gestation. Nature, in its wholeness, seems to be imbued with a raw sexual
energy every spring and I can see it, smell it, and feel it everywhere around me. I finished my
wine and headed back to the Office to get my unemployment benefits in order.

Today was even hotter than yesterday. When I first left home, at 10:20 AM, I was wearing a t-
shirt, topped with a parka and a jacket. This was too much for this weather. Outside were 69
degrees. I put my parka in my backpack when I went for a read in the park. After I arrived home
to eat lunch, I dressed in a white and brown plaid shirt. I kept my pants I initially dressed in, a
pair of simple dark red worn trousers.
I arrived at the Office. A lady was waiting for the clerk to get back at her counter. “She’s nearby,
her glasses kind of broke” she told me. “She’ll be back in no time”. And in a couple of minutes
she was. While I sat down on the bench near the counter and began to read while she dealt with
the lady in front of her, another one came in the office. She, unlike the first one that was in front
of me, was gaudy and not too bright. She did notice me but didn’t care and when the clerk
finished dealing with the red haired lady she didn’t feel like respecting the line. I ignored her and
let her file her papers before me. I take pride in respecting the words of the great Marcus
Aurelius: “The only thing that isn’t worthless: to live this life out truthfully and rightly. And be
patient with those who don’t”.

My turn came, the impatient lady left. I found out the sum of money that I was going to receive
every month for the next six months. The mailman would hand it over to me on a fixed day every
month. During our small talk, another colleague of the clerk sat next to her. I overheard them say
that on Saturday the temperature will be a blazing 77 degrees for this time of the year. I liked the
forecast they had heard and told them I was attending a grill on that day, a birthday party of a
friends’, although I don’t eat meat. They were shocked when they learned this aspect about me.
“You don’t eat meat?!” I explained to them that I only eat fish meat. “Are you ill? Are you of
another religion?” her colleague asked. The last question amused me because I had told them, a
few moments earlier that I am in the Lent period and this naturally implies that I am a Christian.
Not everyone can pay attention. I’ll blame it on the shock.

They were trying to find an equation, an answer to this dilemma. My neighbor, the clerk was still
spilling questions: Why don’t I eat meat? How can I abstain from such small pleasures? She
started a small speech on the fact that life is short and that if I were her son she would beat me up
for this nonsense. Things your everyday household gossiping wife would tell you. I wished them
a nice day and left for the park to continue reading. When I arrived downtown I met a friend of
mine who is an unpublished poet. I like some of his poetry he posts on Facebook. It’s modern.
He asked me if I was still working at that hauler company. I explained to him that I don’t work
there anymore because there were too many working hours and when I got back home I just
wanted to sleep. Not to read, not to write, not to watch cartoons. Just to go to sleep, which is nice
sometimes, but you have to make ends meet in between sleeping and waking up. I parted ways
with him and headed to the park.

I really like Millers novel. I think tomorrow I’ll finish it. I read for one hour, got home, tried to
read some more there and ended up eventually back in the park and read for another two hours.
When I arrived the second time, a gang of gypsy, illiterate kids were ranting on stupid things. A
couple of girls were on a bench near them and left, disgusted by their behavior. I actually heard
them passing a comment on me and asking “who the bearded guy was?” I took a small glance on
them and eventually ignored them. Like animals, like with my cat who desperately wanted to
play with her, if you ignore them they will leave because nothing will happen and when nothing
happens nothing is interesting.
While I was in the park I reminded myself that I was still a student and, with the new
government and all, a law was passed recently that allowed students to travel free of charge by
train with the Romanian Railroads company all over the country. There’s a train that goes to
Wien, I’m curious if I can also ride that one for free. The only thing I am missing is my
university ID card. I need to get to the school offices tomorrow and get my ID. I want to see the
Happy Cemetery at Sapanta. I can read and write on my dissertation in the train while in the
same time I can travel and see the country. There are so many places I haven’t seen. Brasov,
Sibiu, Cluj-Napoca, Oradea, Iasi. I can now see all these cities free of charge. I have the time
now.

I got back home, ate and listened to some music. My mother knocked on my door and came in
with my four year old niece. She wanted to ask me something, if I would give her the guitar my
elderly neighbors gave to me, the ones from whom I buy the organic wine. I told her that I would
give her the guitar and then I glanced at my mother and told her that this was funny and it’s a
shame for the instrument if it isn’t played. I recommended her to talk with my sister-in-law and
take the kinder to some guitar lessons. I doubt she will ever learn the instrument.

When I was a kid my father had the chance of bringing in the house an upright piano but
abandoned the idea because he thought “I wouldn’t like to play music”. Sadly for him, I did like
to play music, but the arts weren’t so revered in my family.

I had an earworm stuck in my head. The song was David Bowies’ “Let’s Dance”. I remembered
again I’m now unemployed and I have the world at my feet. I just want to see the world. Better
start with the country I am living in. Tomorrow I need to get up earlier. I have to get my ID card
from school.
22nd of March

To my astonishment I managed to open my eyes before the alarm rang. When I looked at the
clock it showed 08:12 AM. I had put the alarm to ring at 08:30. In any case, I still didn’t get up
at that fix hour. When I finally managed to get out of bed the time was 09:00. I got up from bed,
put my clothes on and went outside in my father’s workshop. I asked for some money for the
road. He told me to stay put for a while, went into the house and brought back a 50 lei bill. I
went to change it in order to have smaller bills for the road. I gave him 10 lei back because I
noticed he didn’t have any money in his wallet. He told me to keep the rest.

I found a car and I went to the University to get my ID. I read all the way, like I do most of the
time. The driver left me in the first bus station. It was a perfect timing because I had seen the bus
a couple of stations back when we passed it.

I bought a ticket from the bus driver and sat down. I got my Kindle out of my backpack and
started reading again. When I was close to the University station, I put it back in my backpack
and got up to leave the seat open for another passenger. In front of me, earlier, a pretty blond girl
sat down. She had nice white skin and gorgeous emerald eyes. I’m a sucker for green eyes. She
was sad judging by the look on her face or maybe sleepy. I don’t know.

I got off and went into the building. To get to the students’ secretariat office you have to climb
the stairs two levels. The janitor was mopping the stairs and I felt sorry for leaving my footprints
all over the place.

I got there and was told to wait for a couple of minutes until the lady in charge was back at her
place. When she arrived I told her that I wanted to pick up my ID. She told me that I needed a
photo, a snap of my mug. I left and went to a photo shop in the historical town center which was
in front of the University. I got for photos and rushed back to the secretariat. The lady received
my photo and told me I should come back tomorrow to pick up the ID. When I left for the
staircase I remembered that I also need a student grades book. I went back, gave her another
photo and proceeded to get back home.

Before walking back to the hitchhiking spot to get a ride back home I bought some pastry. I also
bought a honey-walnut bagel but I couldn’t finish it. I felt bad to throw the left-over bagel in the
garbage can. I always feel bad for throwing food. I thought that I should keep it and maybe I’ll
stumble into a beggar or some sorts and give the poor fellow something to eat.

And when I was halfway there I did spot a poor kid with ragged clothes and worn shoes. I should
have kept the bagel. Never throw food no matter what! NEVER!

I phoned my former employer asking for the phone number of a railroad worker that was a
common friend. I wanted to know if I could travel free of charge by train to Wien or Budapest. I
phoned him and he told me he’d look into it, phone some colleagues from the marketing
department.

Before I got to my spot I saw a friend of my father’s. The guy was the former administrator of
the towns’ hospital and the father of a former school colleague, a girl by the name of Diana who
was now doing some vet med school or something like that.

I waved to him and he recognized me. He opened the car door from inside; I got in and
immediately started chatting with him for half of the time we spent on the road back home. He
told me that he wasn’t the hospitals’ administrator anymore and only handled supply deliveries.
He asked me if I was coming back from school and I told him this and that.

He worried me a little bit about my travelling plans when he told me he had heard that students
were only able to travel between their hometowns and the schools they were attending. Then I
remembered that a couple of weeks ago Lisa came from Bucharest to Bals and she was studying
in the capital and also living there. So there wasn’t much worry.

12:00. I got home ate some French fries and a salad. I drank my daily half glass of wine on the
house steps. Again, my cat wants to play with me. She only wants food, I’m certain of that. Cats
are so much like people. When they want something they act all cute and fuzzy and the moment
you give what they want they leave and don’t give a fuck about you anymore than the moment
before they realized they had something to gain from you. The wind was slightly blowing, it
gave the air a Mediterranean vibe.

I went to the park to read again. I feel so connected with Henry Miller, with his writing style and
with his lifestyle, to be honest. I want also to be free. I also think of myself as not being human,
but inhuman. Like him and a few select few we can see the perfection this world has to offer
even in a pile of shit. Even in a pile of diseased ridden condoms, syringes and feces. All life
comes from death and the stars are merciless.

While I was reading I saw a young mother with her son. I think she was about 30 years old and
the kid 2 years old. He couldn’t stay still (duh! he’s a child). His mother had been begging him
for a couple of minutes to turn to her, stay still and smile. Dumb bitch, kids always smile, it’s in
their nature. More than that, you’re his damn mother and can’t seem to grasp this notion. Yeah,
snap a picture, post on Facebook. Show off what you did in this life. From your young tight cunt
a human being emerged and now you want to show the whole fucking world what you made and
how proud you are. The little guy didn’t even learn to speak and you are uploading him on social
media. Don’t get me wrong, I know it is a natural feeling to adore your children but don’t
overdue it. I remember that when I was in the photo shop to get my mug shot for my ID card I
read a Latin proverb on a small tin present token. I read like this: “There is only one beautiful
child in the world but each mother has it”. The only thing that you can overdue in a child’s life is
their education. That’s the only thing that’s worth overdoing.
Anyway, I felt like smoking a cigarette and went to the store to buy one. I came back to the same
bench and sparked the fag. This left me a little bit dizzy for a couple of minutes with a bitter taste
of ash in my mouth. I’m a casual smoker for some time now but I can feel it didn’t have a really
nice effect on me. I went home.

When I got home I showered and afterwards spent some time on the internet. I called Vany to
find out at what hour they have band practice. He told that at half past seven they’’ be there. I
called Piscot after for two things. The first if he’ll go to work tomorrow. He said yes, so at half
past eight tomorrow I’ll get a ride from him to Craiova. The second to ask him if he’ll come with
me to the band practice. He said no. We need to talk with their guitarist because he owns the
studio they practice and for some time we were fantasizing, Saturday after Saturday, how would
it be like to form a band. He chickened out so it was up to me to talk with the guy.

I want to change my notebook. I have almost never used it because it is a hybrid. It is a tablet
that can detach from the keyboard. It’s and Asus Transformer book. I don’t know why I bought
the damn thing anyway. Actually I know why, I bought it to write. But it is too fragile and the
battery won’t last enough. I need a laptop, a solid one. So, I say that the guy who sold me the
Asus has some small notebooks on sale, close to the price I spent. So tomorrow I will go and pay
him a visit and maybe strike a bargain with him. I cleared my account info from it and now it is
clean, almost brand new.

I went to the guys’ band practice. I spoke with the guy, Marius is his name. They have a gig
tomorrow. They are the opening act. I told him that we’ll bring our instruments, obviously, and
that we only needed some speakers and a mixer. He said that’s no problem but that we need to
talk about the time we would practice. Even if we have his bass player, Vani, he has to be there
because it’s his stuff and the guy I think is a bit paranoid. Nonetheless, this is good news and the
skeptic Piscot will be happy when he’ll hear it tomorrow morning.

I sat to listen to a couple of songs of theirs and left. Before I entered the back door of my house I
gazed for some minutes at the stars. They were shining bright, wild like the sparkles the sun
leaves on the river stream, immaculate, innocent. No stain of misery would touch them, no
corrupted thought; no savior could ever redeem them for they are eternal as the canvas they lay
on and he is not. They made me smile. Someday I will join them.

Tomorrow I’ll get up earlier.

23rd of March

I did get up earlier. I woke up at about half past seven and got out of bed at ten minutes to eight.
I called Piscot to see how he was doing and to remind him to pick me up when he leaves for
work. He was still in bed and struggling to get up.

I washed and tried working on an article. I need to change the last part, it’s ambiguous and I still
can’t find a clear answer for it. At 08:40 Piscot called me to say that he left his house and that I
should wait for him in front of mine.

Before I crossed the street my father asked me if I can get some lenses for him from a shop in
Craiova. Piscot arrived and I got in the car.

I told him the good news that Marius would let us play in his studio although he wasn’t all that
pleased with the news. I think he was still sleepy; and hung-over. He told me last evening he
drank a liter of red wine.

He dropped me off at the side of the University in Craiova which was in his way to work. I went
to the secretariat but the deans weren’t in office yet so I had to wait. I went outside and started
reading some Seneca on a bench. It was sunny. My father phoned me and told I can get the
lenses at after ten o’clock. I told him that I had to wait for my ID and that there was no problem
at all. At 10:20 I went upstairs again to check if my ID was signed and stamped. It was and I left
for my father’s lenses.

I picked them up and left to see if I can strike a deal with the guy that sold me my Transformer
book. I walked some 20 minutes and got to his workshop which is placed in a commercial space
of some sorts with all kind of merchants around his small store. He told me he can’t swap or
barter because he already had a same model like mine on hand and it wouldn’t be profitable for
him. Oh well, I have to write on my existing tool. And I thought about it that it isn’t so bad.

I ate some veggie noodles at a small joint in the mall. The lady over the counter recommended
me the veggie rolls as well but I told her these weren’t allowed in lent. “Why? We have them as
a Lent product.” I told her that the rolls were made with egg whites and she said she’ll look into
it further and had no idea of this aspect.

I left for home and luck struck me again. A friend with a pick-up truck stopped and gave me the
ride home. He told he was a little sick from yesterday, some sort of virus had got a hold on him
and his eyes were bloodshot all the day yesterday. I recommended him garlic, onion and honey
as the best remedies for taking down a cold.

When I arrived home I found my father eating. I left the lenses on the old table in the hallway.
I left to read in the parl. Before I sat down on a bench I bought a cigarette. I arrived and chilled
for a couple of minutes contemplating the crystal clear sky in front of me and watching and
listening to the crows how they gather branches to build their nests, listening to the hungry bees
that have awoken out of their winter slumber to feed on the blossoming oak and poplar trees that
populate the park.

I felt in the mood of starting a new novel. I browsed my Kindle to see what I had uploaded over
time and found Jack Kerouacs’ The Dharma Bums. I liked the title and I started reading. Really
nice book, really nice written. I see myself reflected, my lifestyle or at least my current lifestyle
in the novels I have recently read.

I read a couple of chapters and craved for a sesame bar. I went to the store and after I climbed on
the stadium to eat and look at the hills in front of me. The sun was shining bright. I actually have
a red nose and forehead; an early tan. My white skin is promiscuous with the rays of the sun.

An old friend called who is now living in Bucharest. Nick is his name. He called to check on me,
to see how I was doing. He felt like going for a trip this weekend in the surrounding places
around Bucharest. When I always meet with him we get high. When I was still drinking we
would get both drunk and high and do dumb shit. I remember that one night when we went for a
binge we had some weed and MDMA on us; only a stick of weed but half a gram of Molly. The
police stopped us for a routine check. We were just outside of a techno rave party. I don’t know
how he pulled the stunt but he managed to pull out the stunt but the hid in due time the bag of
Molly in his wallet. The stick of weed was well hidden in the cigarette pack. The cop let us go. It
was real funny because I could see the disappointment on his face. He saw our wasted faces and
I think he thought to himself “The fuckers munched on everything they had before getting in”.

I told him that maybe I’ll come on Saturday in Bucharest and we’ll see what we’ll do. I read a
little bit more and then headed back home.

At home I cut my hair to skin level, like I always did for the past couple of years. I showered and
when I came back in the room I had received a phone call from Denis. Denis is an officer
responsible for Communications in the army. He works in Bucharest and was home these past
couple of days to repair his car, change the tiers etc. He told he was in Craiova at the concert
venue with Vany, Marius the whole band. He tried calling me to pick me up but I wouldn’t
answer. I told him I was showering.

And so I got dressed and left for Craiova. A geezer stopped and picked me up. He was about 60
years old, something like that, judging by the hair and skin. He was listening to some shit fiddler
music singing about how hard it is to get money and crap like that. He had greedy eyes. Anyway,
he left at the first bus station and I decided to walk downtown.

I got at the venue and the guys were setting the stage. The main act was called Rezident Ex. Cool
musicians but not my style. The drummer was an absolute animal man. I think his name was
Mark Cross. I was pleased to find out that he was a Tama endorser. And the guitarist was sick
too. He kind of looked like James Hetfield from Metallica. I think his name was Mattias and he
was from Hamburg, Germany, the city of hookers and other cultural delights.

When they were all set up I left with Denis to grab something to eat. I did not know he ate
chicken meat again. He had been eating only fish for seven years and he was joking about eating
at KFC. I didn’t really believe him but then I saw he was serious and so we decided to eat there. I
wanted some French fries anyway, wasn’t really that hungry. We talked on the way to the diner
about meat and stuff. He was oddly lying to himself that chicken is identical with perch meat. No
Denis, it isn’t. I felt like he was somewhat testing me to see if I’m weak and if I’ll give in easily
and eat meat. I told him that I hadn’t the slightest idea of returning to meat for the moment.
Maybe in future if I feel like it. For the moment I feel really fine with my diet.

We arrived at the joint and I ordered some fries. He recommended a veggie salad. I wasn’t really
in the mood for it but I accepted. Those vegetables were like paper man. I could literally feel the
crisp artificialness in them. Anyhow, he ate some nuggets and ordered another two takeaway
minuscule sandwiches. He ate one on the road and was displeased by it. “Man, this was the first
time in ten years I ate at KFC. Fucking horrible, I’ll never eat at this shit joint again”. I felt
amuse. “That’s why they recommend Coca-Cola on their menus. It grinds this horrible food
down.” He added “When I ate one time a fillet-o-fish at McDonalds I drank water. I felt sick all
the way home. When I drank a couple of mouthfuls of cola the sickness was gone”.

We went back to the venue. The opening act, our friends were playing. It was fucking tragic
man, and by this I don’t mean their playing. I think seven people attended the concert. Seven
people! It really sucks being a musician, laying your art down when there’s no one there to see it.

We listened to the concert and then left for home. I felt too tired to write. These pages were
written on the 24th in the morning.
24th of March

I woke up and wrote what I did on the 23rd. I ate a bit. My mom cooked some fish although I can
only eat tomorrow according to tradition. Lent is pretty well structured in terms of diet
segmentation. I ate some cornmeal with fried cabbage and drank my daily glass of wine outside
basking in the sun. I got a tan on my forehead and nose already.

Shortly after, I went to buy a train ticket for Monday. I’ll be heading to Sibiu. Today was even
warmer that the other days. I bagged a red shirt in my backpack before leaving home, just in case
I’ll be staying in the shade while I do my afternoon read. I was dressed in green pants and a
black t-shirt.

I walked 30 minutes until I arrived at the train station. Before I got there, when I had to make a
right, I met a couple of friends having coffee on the terrace of a local bar. I greeted them, told
them what I was about to do and told them I’ll come back after I’m finished for a quick chat.

At the train station I got the ticket for free with my student ID card. The train leaves on Monday
morning at 08:42 AM and arrives at 12:34 PM.

When I got back to the bar only George and a guy who was a bartender in a downtown bar whom
I forgot his name were still sitting at the table. I was in the mood to smoke so I asked for a
cigarette. The former bartender passed me a pack of blue Dunhills and left almost immediately
after to chat with some people at another nearby table. I chatted with George meanwhile, small
talk mostly, how he was doing nowadays.

“I’m poor as fuck man. I need to get out of this town, my father’s broke. Look at me man I get
thinner and thinner because I don’t eat as I used to.”

I asked him if he was still with that girl, Denisa.

“Nah man, we broke up.”

“I’m sorry to hear that” I told him.

“It’s OK. She was an odd chick. I know she went through some shit but don’t get all superior
with the others around you. I dunno, I’ve been through some shit myself and at the moment still
am but you don’t see me bragging about how I managed my fucked up life and how people
should bow to me for the hard times I’ve been through. I wanna get out of this town, I wanna go
to Cluj. I love that city, it’s beautiful!”

“Why don’t you go then? Follow your dreams dude!”

“It’s hard as fuck. I don’t have a college degree, I don’t have any money. I can’t even get there
because I broke and can’t travel. Where will I live, what would I eat? And let’s say that I get a
job, in the month until I get to payday what will I do?”

My philosophy of life is that if there is a will there is a way. And so I started laying down the
possibilities for Adrian, how could he make it despite of all the vicissitudes he had spoken of
earlier.

“Okay, let’s make a plan. Let’s say you get a job interview scheduled. You can get there
hitchhiking. Although you don’t have any money for the road some car will initially sop and take
you. There still are kind people in this world, yes, even in this damned country. After you arrive
in Cluj you can go the job interview. There’s a community called Couchsurfing where strangers
receive guests in their houses and offer them their couch, hence the name. You can survive with
a little food, some bread, and an apple.”

“I hope I won’t get one of my kidneys removed.”

“Nah dude, don’t be silly. They’re some nice people there and it’s verified so you don’t have to
worry about shit like that. You could strike a bargain with them to live for a month, tell the host
what’s wrong and maybe they’ll let you stay for some time. You just have to do the dishes for
them, clean the house, and maybe cook a little. You’ll be a sort of a maid but you won’t have
time to complain because you’d be a bum maid.”

He was smiling but with a skeptical look. People don’t really want to do what they have in plan
to do. They get scared. If you have a dream, don’t waste your time by just thinking about it and
imagining it. Bring it to life, mold it, sculpt it, be a Rodin or a Brancusi. Everything is possible;
we live in the world of infinite possibilities. If you can think it you can do it.

“Yeah, it’s hard man. I need to see what I need to do. I told you I broke up with my girlfriend out
of a meaningless shit. But I feel better. I want to be alone a while. It’s odd because I’m a guy that
wasn’t alone most of the time. I had women man; lots of beautiful women. Even if I had one for
a day I still had her and that was all that mattered at the time. I dunno people are weird. You
don’t see the messed up shit we stir between each others, us human beings, in the animal
kingdom.”

“George, look what a beautiful day it is. Just look at the sky. It’s been crystal clear for the past
couple of days. Just can glance into its infinity and you’ll understand yourself. You can’t love if
you do not know what hate means. You cannot see the beauty of a rose, smell it’s sweet flavor if
you haven’t smelled the shit, the piles of excrements that spill from an urban sewer.”

He smiled when I told him the last part and felt he was a little bit happier with himself. I always
liked to cheer up people. Practice kindness, it’s the only way to survive in this fucked up world.

“I’m going to read in the park downtown George; I hope I’ll see you soon!”
“I hope so too! See ya!”

And like this I left the terrace also with a smile on my face looking up at the azure sky. I also
was broke. I had not even a coin in my pockets. But I was happy. I cheered a fellow up and that
was all that I needed.

I arrived in the park and read for a couple of hours. The Dharma Bums is a really good read.
Good job Jack! I left home, showered and listened to music for the remaining hours of the early
evening. At around eight I got a call from Vany. I asked if he can loan me some money to pay
another small debt. “That’ll be no problem Preto! I’m now leaving my apartment. I’ll go to the
ATM until you arrive to cash out some dough and we’ll meet downtown.” We were supposed to
meet up after with Piscot. After all, it was his birthday. I was already dressed; just got my jacket
on and put my feet in my sneakers and went downtown to meet up with him.

When we met we went to a nearby store to buy some cigarettes. After I went in the bar to meet
with the guy I was in debt and to pay it off. We then went to a car repair shop. That’s where
Piscot was. The owner was a friend of ours and the guys had rounded up some beers.

We talked about cars, music and all sorts of whacky things. I think we stayed there for a good
couple of others. Some were working on an old Volkswagen Golf II but in good condition. They
were changing its original motor with an Audi A3 1800 cm3. The guy who owned the car,
Florica, was a racer and an avid car enthusiast. The guys drank their beers, we smoked some
cigarettes and I drove back downtown in Piscots car.

We arrived in the bar and stayed there for a good couple of hours. When we first arrived I
bumped into an acquaintance that was supplying me with weed at one time in the past. We went
outside for a chat over a cigarette.

“How’re you doing bro? I actually wanted to get a hold on you. I found some good shit in
Slatina. It’s about 0.8 for weight but I swear it’s all jell-o with THC. For the price it’s 80. The
guy only sells to three guys and I know him from a friend of mine that is now living in Spain.”

“Let me talk with the guys. I actually wanted something for this weekend but in Craiova the
price is way upp. 100 man. Fuck that!”

“Let me know if you want. If you decide you do give me money for it this evening and tomorrow
when I come back from work at seven I’ll bring some.”

“OK dude, will do that. I’ll ring you up if something’s up.”

I went back in and started chatting with the fellows. Half of the evening we talked about pussy.
One of us, Cosmin, was bragging about the fucked up women he fucked. Oddities and
commodities sometimes I guess. He offered me to send a CV to his sister at HP if I wanted a job
in Bucharest but I said I wasn’t quite feeling willing to get another job in the country until I
finish my masters degree because I wanted to leave in the fall for another country. We left one
by one. First Vany, drunk and sleepy, then Piscot – the same, and last me and Cosmin
somewhere close to 02:00 AM.

I got home at the same hour as yesterday evening. Again. I need to stop smoking tobacco, even
on occasions. I know that I’m just babbling and the following day I’ll smoke a couple of them
but don’t judge me. I, like all humans, like lying to myself from time to time just to get the edge.
I’ll master this sometime, I’m sure of it.

But, for the moment, I THINK I’m on the right path. Eh, who knows? The thing is I don’t feel
too well afterwards. My body knows it’s toxic. It’s more sensible now with the Lent and
gastronomical abstinence. They make me tired; clogs my blood vessels. Stay faithful to weed
man, only weed.
25th of March

I’m stoned, but I’ll get into that later. I woke up first at 08:30 AM. I was planning to go early to
the dentists’ office to get my cavity fixed. I can’t go on a trip risking a sore tooth. Nope.

I stalled the alarm. I got home late and had some trouble falling asleep. A nap wasn’t gonna’ do
it. I woke again at 09:32 and again at 10:30. At the last sound of the alarm I got on my feet. I did
my morning mantra. I dressed and went to see the dentist at 11:00. The doctor is a neighbor. She
lives on a street in the back of my house. I think she is 40 or something like that, is blond and has
pretty bright blue eyes. She has two kids, a daughter and a boy. Well acquainted with my sister
in law.

I got there and had to wait a quarter of an hour. I sat down and read awhile; another patient, an
old man arrived and also took a sit beside me. On the dentist’ seat was a woman. Meanwhile,
when the good doctor came out, I learned she had cut her finger with one of those diamond mills.
Quite painful, as you would imagine.

When she was walking a patient out, she started chatting with me a bit. “Do you still want to go
in the U.S.A.?”

“Nah, too much slavery there. I wanna go the Netherlands or Denmark.”

“I heard Denmark is really cool. I also would wanna to go there. I heard something about some
Armenian funding with your studies. What’s that all about?”

I wanted to go and earn a PhD. at the University of California Los Angeles or UCLA. There
were some scholarships handed down for Armenian descendents that wanted to enroll in doing a
thesis. My great-great-grandfather was an Armenian priest who came in the Southern Part of
Romania, the region of Oltenia. They settled here and here I am a couple of generations later.

“And do you fit in? In what field do you want to go in”

“Yep, I fit. My name is Armenian. It has the suffix –ian. Pretorian, Tankian, Setrakian etc. I
wanted to go into Philosophy.”

“You’re reading. What are you reading?”

“A novel.”

She took a quick glimpse at my Kindle while I leaned my head down and started to read again.
While the lady was on her way out the old man took the seat next. He was done quickly with him
and then came my turn. I got my jacket and cap off and sat down on the long seat. She
refurbished the place. It was now violet, previous yellow. Pretty faithful woman, but I doubt she
fully understand the meaning. She had on a counter all sorts of icons with the Virgin Mary, Jesus
and other saints.
“You have nice glasses. Did your daddy made them for you?”

“Yup. I like that they’re that 1900’s style.” I said and afterwards opening my oral cavity for
inspection.

Her nurse also replied. She too is a neighbor of mine. She has two beautiful twin daughters. I
think they’re in the 6th grade or something like that. She is divorced and her ex-husband is in
England.

“They suit you well with the beard and all.”

“They’re gold plated”

“Really? How much does a frame like that cost?”

“I dunno’. Maybe 100 euros, something like that.”

My spectacles have some details goldplated. It’s an oval German Menia frame with some nice
golden indents. The lenses turn a nice dark brown tint while exposed to sunlight.

“So, what are you up to?

“I want to travel this coming week in the country. Now that students can ride the train for free
anytime they want I wanna see some places. I’ll start my trip on Monday and I’ll land in Sibiu
first. I wanna see the world.”

“You’d need some money to do that.”

These two are part of the vast majority of money shackled mindsets. I wonder if the world would
be a little bit better if they would imagine what they would do if they were ever stone cold broke.
Or to live at least for a couple of days like a homeless man, see the world from below, from the
pit. Humility is a virtue, a friend, an eternal companion. The Universe is humble in its infinity.

We stopped talking and I opened my mouth. The doctor started grinding away the rotten parts of
my diseased tooth. It’ an upper right premolar which I was dealing with for quite a while.

“Do you remember if we ever removed the nerve from this one?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Maybe or you don’t know?”

She told she would put an antibacterial paste and will cover it up with dental cement.

“When are you coming back from your trip?”

“I think on Sunday next week.”

“Come back on Tuesday. I’ll take an X-ray to see what’s there more clearly and we’ll see how it
heals for a while.”

“How many hours I’m not supposed to eat?”

“Two.”

I thanked them both, got dressed and left back home.

When I got back at my computer I began writing the pages of the previous day. I have to stop
slacking off even if I feel tired.

Today is the Fourth Sunday of the Great Lent. Food with oil. It is allowed in the Christian
calendar to eat fish. Fish is also considered a poor man’s source of food. It is abundant in the
rivers and anyone with the proper tools can procure it. It’s a good source of clean protein and
healthy fatty acids for the brain. I wrote for an hour and a half, listened another half an hour to
some retro music and went to eat lunch. A relative of ours brought us some rice and fried carp
dipped in corn flower. I enjoyed the meal and felt good. I drank my daily wine outside and
looked at the clouds. It was a bit windy and clouded. Grey clouds danced on the sky but they
would soon clear up later in the day.

I played some Heroes of the Storm, two matches after. Then I phoned Vlad to see if he’s up for
some coffee. I also thought that maybe he can buy some weed the fellow from last evening was
talking about. I would return my part in a couple of weeks. I’ll go to sleep now, I’ll write again
tomorrow.

Hello again! The same like last evening. Anyway, while on was on my way to the other part of
the city where he was I met another one of their gang. He had a bottle of Coke in his hand while
crossing the street. I stopped to say hello and asked where he was heading to. I told him I was
about to meet with the boys.

“I’m heading there too. My car is on the other part of the square. Let’s go.”

His name is Stephen and nickname Beelzebub from some dota game or something like that. He
works as an engineer at a window factory close to Pielesti, ten kilometers to halfway to Craiova.

On one of the benches in front of one of the local flat houses I found Vlad, George, an on the
other in front of them the girlfriend of another friend of ours Claudiu and her friend whom I did
not know who she was. The girls left soon and we started chatting about all sorts of philosophical
topics.

I talked with Vlad about the plan. I told him it costs 80 lei, that we’ll split it and I’ll repay him in
two weeks time or maybe earlier. He said that it was no fuss with the money and that I would
pay back whenever I had it. The plan was to meet again later in the evening, I would get the
stuff, smoke a couple of joints, split in half and then drink something in a bar downtown. All was
set.

I phoned my small acquaintance from last evening. He wouldn’t answer so I texted him in a sort
of cryptic way not to be too dubious but enough to be understood what I wanted to mean.
Meanwhile we got talking.

George is a convinced atheist. He does not believe in anything else other than reason and
concrete proofs. He’s one of those people who doesn’t want to accept that there are certain forces
his perception cannot comprehend unless he uses an open mind to other than the slow vibration
the material lays on the table. A mere illusion. Just a hallucination.

He started ranting something random that he saw on social media about the three wise men.

“Three wise men and the fourth died. What a pile of bullshit!”

“George,” I said “Have you ever thought that maybe those scriptures are just an allegory to some
mental processes that happen within us? Look, for example, the tale of the three wise men. This
can be a hidden reference, painted with metaphors, to the three glands of the brain: the
hypothalamus, the pituitary and the pineal gland who came to herald the coming of the divine
conscience in man. It’s kind of hidden, occult anatomy of the human microcosms.”

Stefan was flabbergasted. “I would never have thought of that dude.”

“Yeah Preto,” replied George “But you can interpret anything the way you want. It’s subjective
and doesn’t reflect necessary the reality of things.”

“Well, you can agree that all human beings have these glands.”

Robert, a friend with whom I played in a band a while back, came to sit with us and have a
smoke. Odd fellow. He works what I used to, in the transport business. He has dark circles
around his eyes and dried skin. He looks like a junkie but hasn’t done anything else other than a
couple of times weed out of which he said he didn’t feel anything and alcohol. He is a junkie for
coffee and cigarettes. He had a small cup of coffee in his hand and a cigarette in the other.”

“How’re things with you Robert? Are you okay?” I asked him.

He keeps the smoke a long time in his lungs and then expires slowly. He truly likes these two
handcuffs society has offered us. It hands us down coffee and cigarettes to keep us on the go and
to keep us diverted and shallow to what passes by around us.

“I’m just chillin’. I’m a bit tired.”

“Do you still work there?” I asked. “As a forwarder?”

“Yeah, I do.”
“I quit. Actually the company closed due to some financial issues it had from the past. Anyway, I
couldn’t stand the working hours anymore. The schedule sucked. I would get in the office at
08:00 AM and leave at 06:00 PM. Nope, I couldn’t stand it. It was too tiresome. All day long to
stay cooked up in an office in front of the computer keeping a vigil look out for shipments. It
sucked big time. In the summer time it wasn’t like this. I would leave between 12:00 and 02:00
PM. But for the last few months the business started falling apart and I had to stay in for the full
10 hour job.”

“I know it’s tiresome.”

“I had a pretty salary, to be honest, but I wasn’t happy with the money” I said. “I couldn’t enjoy
a nice walk when I wanted to or read because I had to keep my eyes peeled for those damn
freights. So I decided to quit but the company was closing already.”

Robert lighted another cigarette. “To think about it” he said “I also don’t feel as happy as before.
I mean, when I was poor and didn’t have stuff I looked at life differently. But now I buy things
but they don’t give me any satisfaction. I mean I bought an audio system. It didn’t really make
me happy. I buy this and that but they don’t make me feel anything at all.”

“You just have money and feel like you need to spend it.”

“I was the same dude. I was also buying things but in the end they didn’t brought me any kind of
real satisfaction, like you feel, more or less.”

Meanwhile my phone started ringing. It was the connection to the weed. He told me that he
would see if he can borrow some money from some work mates to get the stuff and after, in the
evening, we would look each other out in town so he could give it to me. If he doesn’t find any
money I would have to go into the next town and give him the dough so he can buy the ganja.

I told Vlad this and he told me he had drank a beer. “No matter” I said “In case we have to go I’ll
driver. I’m always sober because you know I don’t drink anymore.”

“Let’s go to the store. I need to buy some cigarettes.”

The non-stop shop is really close. We passed along the flat houses toward the shop and chatted
along.

Vlad works as a database consultant or something like that at a bank in Craiova.

“I have a colleague at work that keeps all his money he earns at work on his bank account. His
parents pay for his gas and food. He doesn’t spend a penny. He doesn’t go out in the town. He
only stays at home. And now he bought a car, a Toyota with ten thousand Euros. Why spend all
that money on a car that you use only to get at work?”
“People are strange dude. He bought himself a toy; most people resemble more like children in
their behavior than they think.”

We got to the shop and he bought a pack of blue Dunhill and a cranberry-mint drink. We went
back to the bench and talked for a while, all of us. I asked Vlad for a cigarette.

Stefan mentioned about his past surgery. He had a cyst just like I did in the coccyx area, the root
red chakra home Muladhara.

“I was really paranoid about the anesthesia they gave me. It was performed in my lower back
spine like yours” I said while throwing my cigarette butt in the garbage can. The others had
thrown theirs on the grounds.

“You make us feel bad about ourselves man.” George said with a lowly voice.

“I have nothing against you boys. You can throw them on the ground if you like, it’s your
choice. But while now I have the garbage close and handy to use why not throw the butts there? I
like keeping what’s under my feet clean, but that’s my choice.”

I was a little bit amused that the guys lowered their heads. Maybe I hit some feelings inside them
that maybe will be felt in the future. Who knows?

“What makes you so Zen Preto?” asked Stefan. “I wanna have what your are having”

“Kindness man. And ganja.” I replied.

“Anyway, I was paranoid about it because I thought the anesthesiologist would fuck up and slip
the needle in some nerve and leave me permanently paralyzed. Fuck, it was a relief when I
started feeling my toes.” I said.

“I had the same thing done to me but I had a four hour delay snapping out of it after the surgery.
Some young doctor probed my dick dude although it wasn’t necessary. I think the fucker was
doing practice or something. Anyhow it was pretty painful when I came out of it. I felt a little
like the muscle was tore. They offered me morphine afterwards as a sedative but I said no.”
Stefan has never done drugs besides the mainstream ones we talked earlier. Many times we had
smoked weed around him and asked if he wanted to have a couple of puffs. The guy refused
anytime.

My phone rang again. I found out all was ok with the stuff and that we would meet around eight
in the evening. Shortly after I parted way with the guys and headed for home.

When I got home I showered, did my mantra and dressed afterwards. Time passed by quickly. I
listened to a couple of songs and then I spoke on the phone with Vlad. It was settled we would
meet around eight in the downtown square. I was a bit surprised that he asked if Stefan can come
along with us. “Sure he can come. Bring him along haha”.
Shortly after I left home to meet up with them. I changed the remaining fifty lei I had borrowed
from Vany and got a phone call from the guy with the ganja.

After I got out of the store my phone rang again.

“Bro, I’ll be in town in about ten minutes. Where are you chillin’ now?”

“I’m downtown in the square. I’ll bait for you in the back end, near the store on the corner.”

“That’s perfect! I’ll be there quick”

Meanwhile I met with my friends and got the money from Vlad. He gave me a 100 bill and so I
had to break it. I told them to wait for me at the staircase that leads to my former office. I still
have the keys from there because Cristi, my employer, hasn’t asked for them. I think he’s letting
me hold on to them because he thinks this would be a sign of trust for the money he still owns
me for the months he was short on paying me. I also have the phone I used at work, a Samsung
Galaxy S4 Mini. Neat gadget, I’ll come in handy to guide me the following week through the
city’s I want to see. I went to the store, changed the money and waited for the guy with the
candy.

In about almost a quarter of an hour he showed up. He came with his car and I got in. He gave
me the weed wrapped in some cellophane burned at the edges so it stayed closed. I initially
thought it was hashish by the fact that it was too hard on the touch. Really pressed weed. Two
buds and some little pieces.

“I have to apologize but it isn’t what I told you it is when we meet last evening. When I met the
dude he had come from a grill smelling of smoke and fish and gave me this.”

“It’s too little man.” I told him. “It isn’t 0.8, I think it’s 0.6 tops.”

“Bro I’m sorry, don’t think I want to rip you off or somethin’ like that. Never think of that!”

And I didn’t. The guy was indeed a friend and a fellow pothead. I had recently recommended
him to read Plato’s Republic when he asked me what he should read to better understand the
world around him. I’m seeing a change in the world. More and more people want to know about
the world. You know about the world thus you know about yourself.

“That’s ok man. I thank you for bringing something anyway. This will do. Better than nothing!”
I told him.

I got out of his car and went towards the staircase of the building west of the downtown square
that holds my former workplace. On the way, while I was passing the square, I met with the two
of them. They went to the store and bought a 1 liter bottle of Coke. Stefan was eating a chocolate
croissant and was babbling about how he was eager to walk on little clouds.
When we got inside the office I took a better look at the weed in the light and I think it was
something like 0.7 – 0.8 grams so it was OK after all. Stinky stuff too. I don’t own a grinder
(yet!) and I got out of the drawer from the table and cut it into fine pieces. I rolled two joints in
slim OCB papers. We decided to not split it yet because maybe we would be in the mood to
smoke another one later.

Stefan was a little anxious. He was curious about how would the experience be. Besides alcohol,
he hadn’t tried any narcotic in his life.

“I like how it smells.”

I cleaned up, shut the lights and closed the office door. I gave the second joint to Stefan to put it
into his cigarette pack. We went outside and I lit the first joint. I passed it first to Vlad who was
on my left side. Always pass it to the left side, ‘cause the right way, is wrong.

“This is good. I like how it tastes” I remarked.

“Yeah, it tastes good. Let’s see the effects” said Vlad while passing the roach to Stefan.

“Take a puff and hold it inside your lungs for a couple of seconds. Three seconds should be
enough. After that time the lungs’ alveola close and nothing happens anymore.”

He took a couple of puffs and passed on to me.

“I can feel it man” I told them while puffing on the joint.

“I can’t feel the taste you guys are talking about. I mean a little. I liked how the bud smelled. I
don’t know with what to compare it with”

“I think it resembles, uhm, Basil!”

“Yeah, Basil. Something like that.”

“Let’s be thoroughly baked. I think we’ll light the other one. What do you guys say?”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” spoke Vlad.

After we all toke, I killed the first roach and after stood on the window still and asked for a
lighter. I lit the second joint and let Vlad have a go at it first. He passed it to Stefan.

In front of us was an insurance brokers’ office.

“Look at the poster what it’s written on it!” I remarked. “Follow your dreams, it’s the only way!”
I had the feeling that the universe was laying small hints all over the place. That is exactly my
philosophy of life and what I recommend every to every human being I come into contact with.
“I’m starting to feel a little bit weird but nice. A little bit dizzy, hazy. I kind of have the feeling
of space in my head. Like, even when I look I have a panoramic view. I’m trying to look at you
guys but I see you sideways. I dunno’ something like that.” Stefan started giggling. We had
baptized him in cannabis.

“Do you like the state you’re in? It alters your perception of bit but it’s still you. Try to have fun.
You can’t wipe the smile from your face can you?” I asked him.

“Yeah, it’s cool. Hmm, I like green. It’s nice.”

“Mellow. Chill.” mumbled Vlad.

“You see Stefan” I said “Now you can say that you understand Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, most of
the jokes about baked people and so on.”

We finished the second joint as well and I suggested we should go to the bar to have a drink or
something. We were stoned out of our mines at that time. I don’t know where that weed was
grown but man, I tell you, it knocked us out of our shoes.

“I’m walking on clouds. Oh my Lord!” giggled Stefan while climbing the marble staircase on the
other side of the building. The bar was just around the corner. We got into the bar. In the
smoking area, the antechamber of the bar I said hello to some former school classmates we knew
and some other. The bar was crowded with people. We sat down at a table near the windows. We
started rambling about stoner issues like don’t panic, we have Chinese eyes, oh my Gods etc.

The waitress took our order. I ordered a bottle of still water, Vlad a beer and a pizza and Stefan
tonic water. In a couple of minutes our newbie stoner friend got up and told us he was sick and
that he felt like he would barf He went outside and shortly phoned Vlad to bring his jacket
outside. He left because there were too many people around him and felt panicked. He went
home to sleep. Nappy time for him it seemed.

I and Vlad remained. We talked about history, Hitler and his generals and what we were reading
at the moment. I learned from him that he started rereading The legends of Mount Olympus.

“I’m reading them now with a grownups head. The Greeks had beautiful allegories in their
tales!” as he told me.

We went out for a smoke and stayed on the two red leather chairs and smoked cigarettes there
until we left. People around us were gossiping and talking about shit, mostly. Some girls in front
of us were talking about their high school clothes and how they used to borrow them to each
other when they were teenagers. Saturday night talk.

When we left we went again to my office and rolled another joint. We split the weed into two
buds. I had brought a plastic baggie from home in one of my pant pocket and I put my share
there. His I wrapped in some paper.
“I think we can still make three or four spliffs from what’s left. Each of us I mean.” I told him
while giving him his weed.

“That’ll be nice. Give me some papers as well. I don’t have any.”

I gave him the papers, got a cigarette from his pack for tomorrow, left the office and smoked the
joint outside. This was also the nappy roach for us. We got a little bit paranoid when a cop
passed us below but he was going to work. When he was a little bit far away we saw him running
to catch a taxi.

We finished smoking and each of us left for his house. We shook hand and decided that maybe
we’ll meet tomorrow afternoon.

I got home and started writing half of this day. The other half I finished on the 26th. I won’t
mention again the time of writing these pages. As long as they are written, time is irrelevant.
26th of March

I got up at about 10:30 AM. I went to the bathroom, washed my face and went to kitchen to see
if my mother had bought me some pastry. I filled a small cup of coffee and put on a plate the
donut and apple strudel she bought for me. I went back into my room and rolled a nice joint. I
shred the weed with my small Swiss knife scissors. I smoke only half of the joint at the fireplace
and after I started playing a video game. After I finished two rounds I got bored and smoked the
other half as well.

I ate lunch a little bit later, at 01:00 PM. I ate some veggie skewers with mushrooms, red bell
peppers and onions peppered thoroughly with a side of French fries and a radish, green onion
and pickled beet with salad leaves and chopped up parsley salad. Between bites I sipped my
daily glass of red organic wine. I went to the store on my back street and bought a Winchester
cigarette because I needed more tobacco for another joint, a can of Coke and a bag of salted
potato chips.

I rolled the second joint, again smoke half of it and searched for touristic landmarks in the cities I
will arrive this upcoming week. Tomorrow I’ll arrive at my cousin in Sibiu, on Tuesday I’ll go to
Sebes, on Wednesday I’ll be in Alba Iulia, Thursday in Hunedoara and Friday in Timisoara to
visit my friends Baldy and Alexandra. On Saturday I’ll be back in Sibiu because Baldy is playing
some music with another one of our friends, Natty, in Sibiu. On Sunday I plan to be back in Bals.

I laid down the info on the sites that are nice to see and where to find them in the cities. After, I
felt like writing the following hours until five and a half. I then called Vlad and asked him what
he was doing.

“Let’s meet downtown in the Square, like last evening” I recommended him over the phone.

“Yeah, OK.” he replied. “I’ll go and get dressed.”

I also put some street clothes on me and looked in my box for the other half of the joint. I found
it in my anorak I was wearing around the house alongside a purple lighter.

I waited for him in the taxi station for a couple of minutes. I got there first. The sky was painted
nicely with silver clouds that drifted quickly with the wind coming from the East, blowing them
to the West. The sky was split into many patches of color. Some were blue, vanilla colored
where the clouds didn’t come yet and other were lugubriously menacing, violently driven by the
wind.

Vlad came by taxi and we went to smoke my half of the joint in the same place like last night.
We smoked and after bought something to eat from the store. I bought an apple strudel and
something for the journey the following week: two sunflower seed bars, one bag of peanuts and
one bar of sesame. We then went for a stroll in the park but it was breezy and so decided to call
Stefan and ask him if we wanted to come and pick us up for a ride in the car. He said he was at
home and that he was low on gas. We decided to go back to the office, smoke another joint and
go to the bar we went last evening and have a coffee there.

Vlad had the weed on him, I rolled a joint and smoked it this time in the building because it was
Sunday and no one was in there at that time. We went to the bar after.

It was almost deserted. We asked for two coffees with milk and sugar. Today I made a mistake. I
broke the lent on grounds of absence of mind. I figured out that my subconscious mind wanted it.
Being baked, I craved for something sweet and thus I associated the taste of sweetness with milk.
I kind of feel bad but oh well, this means I needed the 20 milliliters of milk I put in my coffee.
Stay more sharper next time!

The coffee came and I started talking with the waitress. Her name was Alina. She didn’t have her
make-up on and was dressed like she was in her pajamas. I chatted a bit with her and told her to
smile more often.

“Even if you smile when you don’t feel like it the muscles remember the feelings of joy, and so
your brain will make you feel better. You can hack you’re brain pretty easy with easy exercises.”

She left our table and we laughed over some funny video Vlad found on Facebook on the phone.
Some Indian show where a 50 year old or something woman receives a DVD and starts having
spasms and shit. And the host was telling something hilarious. The translations sounded like:
“Behold! Witness the power the DVD has on her. The effects are miraculous!” Funny stuff.

We concluded that we were stoned out of our minds last evening and if we were like that,
seasoned smokers, we imagined how was Stefan, a virgin first timer in the ways of the cannabis
plant. I also found out from Vlad that last night daylight changes occured, and so we had more
sunlight. It was still bright at 07:00 Pm when we left.

We chatted a while more on some topics I don’t remember anymore, smoked a cigarette and
went on our way home. Vlad wished me good luck on my journey.

I got home, showered, did my mantra and meditated for half an hour. I got my crystals from the
plum tree they were sitting in my back garden. I felt my carneol crystal pulsating with energy as
well as the quartz crystal bed it is sitting on. I blessed them and they are now in front of me while
I am writing.

I made my bag for tomorrow. I put two t-shirts, a pair of pants, a polar shirt, a box of Kleenex,
toilet paper, two notebooks, the one I wrote my travel info and the other, a blue agenda, a pencil
and ballpoint pen, my Kindle and a paperback copy of The Praise of Folly by Erasmus of
Rotterdam. I put my student ID papers in my wallet alongside the train ticket for inspection
tomorrow morning in the train. I finished by putting the wallet in another jacket I would dress
tomorrow in the chest pocket, the headphones in the left side pocket and a spectacle cleaning
cloth in the right one. I am set to go in the morning.

I rolled another joint with the tobacco I had left lying around, cleaned the room a bit and started
writing. It is now getting late and I need to go to bed. In six hours I will be waking up to start my
travels.